Tony's Kansas City: September 2006

Disappointing turnout for American Royal Parade

Channel 9 reports that only "hundreds" ventured to see The 81st annual American Royal parade on what was a pretty amazing Saturday afternoon. Frankly, I didn't even know it was today so they did an awful job promoting it and it's kinda sad because this is the one truly unique Kansas City tradition that is slowly fading away.

Solomon in the City

Mel Solomon's site went live recently. It's just one simple (sad) page but I guess it's best to not get to fancy considering all of the trouble the guy has had on the Internet previously.

The vote is in the dead of winter but Mel has already found creative ways to get support. Previously, I took issue with the fact that he went looking for money in JoCo - Which many of us do but politicos might expect to owe something in return and that's just bad policy.

Currently, Solomon is citing Dick King (he-he) as one of his supporters. Unfortunately, Dick King (or at least the one I think he's talking about) is dead. Long live the Dick King! Anyway, if Solomon really does have Dick King's support and has roused him from the grave then I guess he is only the second Jewish guy I've heard of to be able to pull off that trick and he has my admiration (but not my vote).

Anyway, as you can see I had fun with one of his campaign photos. If you have a better joke (you probably do) simply clear out my text with your photo editor and send me what you come up with, I'll post it anonymously or with your name. Whatever you prefer.

Tech N9ne "No Can Do"

Awesome new track from the upcoming album "Everready" by TechN9ne.

Jared Allen charged with DUI

I can't say I blame him, I'd be drinking right now too if I was stuck in a contract with the Chiefs. On the other hand, it'll be kind of funny how much this disappoints white people (from JoCo) who still (unbelievably) think of pro athletes as heroes.

Update: It's good to see that the Stadium Tax slush fund has set aside ample funding for booze. Also, I didn't know this city was so generous, doling out drinking money. In many respects, I have this town all wrong. Now, where's my drink?

"The best blogs you've never read"

Some great recommendations from JC, I'm on the list and it's good to see his reading is eclectic.

So what did Roy Blunt know?

In a (small) way, the sexy scandal of the moment comes back on the Show Me state. However, in the photo shown above it's good to see Representative Roy Blunt keeping his distance from the nasty e-mail sending to a 16 year-old boy Florida Rep. Mark Foley. Talking Points Memo reports: "If I'm understanding this correctly, that means that the leaders of the House Republican caucus have known for almost a year that a member of their caucus was having cybersex with an underage congressional page. And apparently they did nothing about it."

KCTV 5 has taught us well, Democrat or Republican, a perv is perv. And while this kind of thing is going to make great partisan fodder, I think the more important lesson here is that (for the most part) politicians are the ghey . . . Along with an increasing number of dudes on the downlow.

Actually, this kind of thing scares me because you might remember that 9/11 basically saved Gary Condit's ass. And any other suspects in the Chandra Levy murder have been as hard to find as the wreckage of the plane that hit the Pentagon. Also, I know a terrorist attack in KC would only be yet another reason to build condos . . . So I'll keep my tinfoil hat close.

Still, I don't believe in conspiracies, I just know that there is something about D.C. that makes quite a few (pervy and powerful) people feel like they can get away with anything.

So the video bloggers seem to be up in KC's Kool-Aid as of late

the show with zefrank

Nice to see that Ze just blew through town and made fun of this place in the process (good stuff) and Amanda Congdon will be here on Monday (if you plan to masturbate more furiously that day). Thanks to Chris for keeping me in the loop. I wonder where she'll visit?

Check out The Kansas City apology thread for a few quick laughs and outsider insights into KC.

Do racist sketches qualify as graphic design?

The KC Biz Journal reports: Western Container Co. workers subjected black employees to hand-drawn pictures of black men hanging from nooses and racial epithets and graffiti, the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission charged in a federal lawsuit filed Friday.

Do they expect anyone to start snitching?

KCTV 5 reports: Someone crawled through broken glass at the shop at Flava of Hip Hop on Tenth and Minnesota in KCK.

The burglar stole six pairs of rare jean shorts worth 400 dollars each along with designer shirts and jeans. All together the merchandise stolen was worth more than three thousand dollars.

Didn't you know the Accardos own the Crossroads?

I make a habit of not listening to anyone's problems but driving home last night at around 8 p.m. I saw some white guy on the Boulevard with a sandwich board and a sardonic grin. He was shouting something and I was too far away to read his sign but the fact that he was directly in front of the Accardo real estate office gave me a clue as to what he was upset about . . . Despite the glowing coverage from The Star, apparently more than a few nearby residents are none to pleased about a 17-story residential condominium tower planned for the Crossroads District.

I felt bad because I didn't shake the guy's hand but I make it policy never to touch anyone I meet on the street after dark. However, after talking to him for a few minutes it was clear that he's an intelligent guy who simply doesn't like what's going on in his neighborhood. Later, after a few Google searches I found that Bill Drummond is an active member in the Crossroads Community and (unlike me) he isn't completely negative about new real estate development in this town. In fact, he seems to be a strong proponent of the Performing Arts Center but feels that the Accardo real estate company is unfairly benefiting from the hard work of his community. Apparently, he's not the only one who is mad about the thing and he told me that others plan to protest as well. He makes an interesting case about the company's lack of support for the Crossroads and their feeble attempt to rename the district, check out what he has to say for yourself.

In lieu of humans

Robots invade Union Station!

Presently, I can't stand Kansas City hipsters

In my opinion, there is nothing worse than people in this cowtown desperately trying to be cool or trendy or whatever word it is you might use to describe one of those dreaded hipsters to which I'm referring.

That routine just doesn't work in this place for a number of reasons but mostly because there are still far more people 'round these parts who wear those John Deere gimme hats with absolutely no sense of irony at all. Also, because almost every social activity in this town involves eating; being skinny and depressed might be a sign of terminal illness and not just proof of your devotion to The Killers.

Anyway, while flipping through the pages of the 1st anniversary edition of Present Magazine a photo essay caught my eye.

A bunch of KC hipsters got together for a fashion shoot at Le Fou Frog (I know) in order to show this city their cool 80 buck jeans that came pre shredded. You'll have to take a look at these losers for yourself in order to catch a glimpse of their self importance . . .

Because puppies are more important than people

Two Weimaraner pups get an outpouring of support after being tossed off a bridge or "tenderized" if we're talking Korean food. Anyway, it's touching if you don't take into account that these people could probably care less about non cuddly creatures - like homeless dirtbags.

Jenee Osterheldt helps out in Club NV's PR effort

My favorite hoop earring wearing columnist tragically disappoints me (and every other literate person of color) today by getting played for a dumb, pretty BAP by a racist local club.

Too bad this hot ass columnist proves that she hasn't had to ask twice for much in her life or career.

So this is what hundreds millions of (tax) dollars buys

Royals Lose 100 Games

The Star reports: "In falling to 59-100, they became the first team to lose at least 100 games in three straight years since the Toronto Blue Jays in 1977-79. Doing so also links them with the 1962-65 New York Mets and the 1961-64 Washington Senators.

Those three teams had the excuse of starting their run in their first season as an expansion team.

The Royals are just the 11th team to pull a 100-loss hat trick - a list that includes two entries by the Boston Braves."

Clearly this is an incredible achievement funded by your bad decisions and Kathryn Shields!

When in doubt blame your baby's mama

Boyfriend Says Murder Was Self-Defense

Help prove that Jesus is fiction

Union Station is looking for volunteers to help with the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit early next year.

It would have been funnier if he was carrying that much weight in crack

KSHB reports that a Texas teenager is facing federal drug charges after police say he was carrying nearly 18 pounds of heroin in the Greyhound bus station in Kansas City.

Once again Kansas City celebrates the achievement of a former SS officer

The TWA Moonliner rocket is returning to KC!

Hey, you can't spell Luftwaffe without TWA. Looking for images for this post, I found an old ad that featured the name of Dr. Wernher von Braun in connection with the Moonliner. I'm not sure if it's official or just nice advertising but I'm sure all of you history buffs know the integral role that former the former Nazi scientist played in the U.S. Space program (after his pioneering work with the help of Jewish slave laborers on the V-2 rocket - London baby!) and I'm sure the connection wasn't lost on crazy ass Howard Hughes who was just as afraid of Black people as he was of germs. Anyway, considering all of this I think the rocketship makes a wonderful addition to KC's skyline and quite apt when put into the context of the gentrification that's attempting to kick every local minority as far, far away from downtown or midtown.

Here's a little more info about the Moonliner (basically just a modified V-2 rocket) and a great shot of Von Braun with KC's favorite Nazi sympathizer Walt Disney:

Because you basically need a helicopter to get around downtown

Phase Two of KCI Airport Bridge Project Begins Bern Street Bridge Closed

Unemployment . . . Ford tough

Ford Motor Co.'s financing subsidiary will cut about 2,000 salaried jobs in the United States and Canada, including about 25 in the Kansas City area.

Trent tells more lies . . . His career is pretty much over.

Green Says He Won't Be Back For At Least Next Two Games as he shows up to Arrowhead walking like an 80 year-old man.

"These misguided malcontents need to accept the fact that at this time, the sale and consumption of drugs is illegal."

Wakarusa Festival stoners are fuming mad, until about 4:20.

I thought Alex P. Keaton was a Republican

Michael J. Fox To Host McCaskill Fundraiser OR The Teenwolf needs his stem cells too.

Iraq War obviously isn't winning hearts and minds anywhere

Channel 9 reports: "The military is accusing a Missouri soldier of killing Iraqi prisoners, but his mother says her son is innocent."

We're a cowtown but obviously not a one horse town

16 Horses Die In Interstate 44 Crash

It make the Hall of Fame's mistake seem all the more horrible

Buck O'Neil's Health Takes Turn For Worse

"Kansas City is America"

Amazing post from local blogger Joe about the state of our city and Queen Katheryn the (not so) Great . . . And I was thinking that the mural would have been okay without her or the judge. A really gusty move would have been to paint over her image without the permission of the ~~profiteer~~ artist . . . Yet, this whole town witnessed how thrilled Queen Katheryn was to look down on us all.

Another great blogger review of Mark Forsythe

Money line: "I love it when outsiders run for public office. It is the truest test of a persons character."

What a local blogger learned this week

Nice post, I learned a long time ago that everybody enjoys a good list.

An article so ghey you might get syphilis from reading it

Charles Ferruzza relives all of the ghey old times at the various locations of Ray's KC porn shack. Apparently, Ray's on Main recently closed but I haven't paid for porn since 1997 so I had no idea. Anyway, the article is a great read but misleading because it refers to nasty, sinful the ghey sex without calling it by name. Obviously, if women were to have sex at porn theaters with no commitments or questions . . . I'd be there right now. So I guess this was a column reminiscing about the "good old days" of promiscuous the ghey sex and (thankfully) I couldn't relate. Also, I feel like I should get some kind of the ghey pride t-shirt for reading the article if only to distribute to all (3) of my loft and condo readers who regularly come here for abuse.

Also, the article refers to several fellow the ghey journalists who had "experience" with the place and Ferruzza drops a lot of hints, but I'm to scared to bend over and pick them up.

Oops, almost forgot (not really).

No homo.

Ze Frank was in town today

He described us as "The small ski resort town of Kansas City, Missouri." However, we only got to see what a KC hotel room looked like, which is pretty much what most visitors to this town take in . . . Along with McDonalds, Starbucks and maybe a few escorts. Anyway, it was another great show, as usual. Thank God, he didn't go to a rib joint. I hate that shit. Pandering I mean, ribs are actually quite tasty.

George Brett's bronze bust stolen from museum

The AP reports that the stolen bust of Brett (he-he) stood outside the Springfield museum as part of a "legends walkway" with about 15 other busts of athletes and three full-size statues, museum operations director Marty Willadsen said Thursday.

It's worth about 10 to 15k and went missing sometime earlier this week.

Considering all of the skanky busts that the Royals have had their hands on over the years, this is pretty much fair play. However, I think that this might yet another desperate attempt to cling on to the glory days of the Royals, figure that the team's management remind everyone how great the team once was every time they want money, so naturally crooks took the message to heart.

Alternately, in the KC area there have been a lot of thefts in order to obtain bronze. Crooks have hit local statues and even cemeteries, so I guess grave robbing the long gone memory of great Royals players isn't that much of a surprise.

TKC Headlines - September 28, 2006

Observing the CITIZEN JOURNALIST in the wild
A shout out from devious bloggery
"How current bus service and the ATA's 3/8-cent sales tax we passed in 2003 would be affected if Chastain's latest light rail proposal passes in November?"
Chris Doyle is taking KC for even more money: Kansas Citians are invited to bounce into one of the region's newest public art installations next week.
Unholy Moses on Missouri Cigarette taxes
Emaw with the ghey video of dudes sleeping
13th and Baltimore closes for Power & Light work
KC high-rise comes off the market
A salute to women in politics
Body of woman, 22, is discovered
The sale of about half of the Missouri college loan agency's assets will proceed if the legislature concurs.
Missouri, once again, is among the stingiest . . . with childcare this time.
Harassment suit dismissed against Johnson County Fire District No. 1
KCK schools shake up parent-teacher conference formula
Sponsorship at the Nextel Cup Series Banquet 400 race at Kansas Speedway
Morrison seeks state action to curb domestic violence
Hit and Run Accident Stuns Officers, Police Search for a Suspect
Crossroads skivvies boutique Shuttlecocks closed September 23
And more smooth music, I know it's embarrassing for me too!

A Healthy Dose of Publicity

Alonzo Washington's kids do a great job talking about struggling with diabetes and the creation of a new comic book on the subject.

It's a nice interview and good progress in the sense that few people have had any luck garnering more cooperation with the cops but at the very least we can all start snitching on the silent killer.

Lee's Summit loser blogger gets beat up by German filmmaker

I don't read Something Awful because porn is far too interesting but the guy who runs the popular site recently got his ass kicked by a filmmaker he flamed.

In related news, Mike Sanders can do all the pushups he wants but he still better not dream about coming my way. Can't wait till his legal authority runs out so I can really have a good time. Anyway, winning a fight against an Internet publisher isn't that great of an accomplishment, it's more akin to your mom telling you that you're handsome or your girlfriend pretending to enjoy your stories.

Anyway, a good ass kicking is always fun to watch, this blog had the best report on the fight for those who spend way too much time on the Internet.

Anytime is a good time for a classic song

The always appropriate anthem brought to you by the Assimilated Negro, "Kill The White People." Because I've read one to many opinions by white guys today and I'm a tad pissed that KMBZ is bringing Lou "I hate Mexicans" Dobbs to town.

"the No Homo hoopla is officially out of control"

Or, yet another reason why no one should take female writers seriously. Seriously, there is nothing funnier (to me) than pounding away at this thing every chance I get - NO HOMO! - The article by hip-hop groupie Tara Henley hopes for more "the ghey" rappers other than the gangsta wannabeasts in KC and of course Kanye West.

About what I owe you

Generally, I think it's a good idea to be suspicious of everyone. Odds are at some point your significant other has lied to you, anybody who is trying to sell you something obviously cares just as much about your cash as their product or service and pretty much everyone except Jesus has a motive.

In that respect, local blogger Dan recently had some interesting thoughts to share about the difference between blogging and journalism.

"Bloggers who take themselves seriously and consider themselves "citizen journalists" need a reality check. Unless you're doing the ground level development of sources and documentation, you are playing at journalism. The phone call I received yesterday was a friendly reminder that real journalists work on an entirely different level."

And I should preface all of this with the fact that Gone Mild is one of the best blogs in the city and that's why I even bother to comment on this post.

But the notion that there is a difference between the written word in one arena vs. any other is really just and excuse to stop thinking, to stop being critical. I've read tons of excellent local blog posts that have provided more valuable first hand information than could ever be provided by our daily paper. And let's not forget that there is only one major daily paper in this town that would love everyone to think they have a monopoly on facts as well as distribution, government sources and press releases.

The attitude that something has greater credibility because it was published by a corporate entity is the reason that so many people in this town are so poorly informed or don't even pay much attention to the news at all. This is the same kind of logic that kept people reading Soviet era rags like Pravda.

If blogs have one major contribution it's that they help everyone become even more distrustful of the MSM. And distrust isn't a bad thing, it's what keeps government officials in check, it's what keeps your wife from running around like a skank (much more effectively than any kind of silly vows) and it's the foundation of much of the "law" white people are so fond of . . . Seriously, security guards, police, background checks, it's basically a public display that this society doesn't trust you to behave yourself and it also makes everyone feel safer.

The notion that anything published by the Star is more credible just because they get paid for their propaganda is a dangerous one. Over the past year we've seen how they not only use their subscription base for sending spam but also seemingly put every one of their columnists on notice to write something nice in favor of the Stadium Tax. These are not the kind of people you want to trust. More and more, people have begun to seek out only the news that they agree with because it's so clear that every media outlet has an agenda - only a good blog is honest about its motives (I'm after big booty white women and good times). The media fragmentation that's going on is not all together a bad thing and while it has given birth to Fox News, this trend is also responsible for all of those great issues of High Times.

The initial post had something to do with Krazy Kris Kobach teaching another class on immigration at UMKC Law School. I received a few e-mails about it myself. A reporter wanted to confirm whether or not Kobach was, in fact, teaching the class. While a call to the law school probably would have been more productive . . . It inspired Gone Mild to praise our local rag's fact checking when, in my opinion, the fact that a cocksmooch like Kobach is held in such high esteem by UMKC Law School while the University tries its best to pander to Latinos for increased enrollment is clearly a sign that the institution is as schizophrenic as a 19 year-old broad who has just packed on the "Freshman 15."

So I can only hope that bloggers will continue to contribute to media skepticism. I hope that no one will accept anything as fact just because of a brand name. It's important to be critical of every form of media that you consume and remain skeptical of everything you read . . . Especially from The Star.

Paying off the KCPD

Here's a rule of politics that's basically as old as civilization: Don't argue with people who have weapons.

In that same respect, it was telling that the proposed police budget which features a huge increase passed without a peep.

The Kansas City police board on Tuesday approved a $229 million budget request that asks the city for an extra $33.5 million, a 17.1 percent increase . . . The proposed budget now goes to city officials. The City Council usually considers budget recommendations in January and February, passes a budget in March, and it goes into effect May 1.

However, the Buzz blog says that "Mayoral and council candidates, though, will have to talk about it, since they'll have to live with whatever decision the outgoing council makes." And that's true to a certain extent but I'm thinking that all of the minorities on the receiving end of a Taser or people pulled over in Soviet-era checkpoints (under the guise of DUI) will probably be even more inconvenienced by a better funded police department.

Still, in principle I support the police because they do keep this town safe YET I wonder if all that money will buy them a clue about how to get cooperation from so many people in this town who have yet to start snitching. Will more cash = cooperation or is all of this tax money just gonna be spent on new toys?

Star Struck: Fear and Loathing in Kansas City

The "man" (i.e. Kay Barnes) doesn't want you playing tennis. Word to Venus and Serena.

Jenee writes fondly of her closet. Obviously, she didn't see me hiding in it.

Yet another local writer blames all his problems on his toxic childhood - And profits!

"The people of JoCo shouldn't fear information." Continuing to fear minorities will do just fine.

Names are added to a petition that also calls for asking the interim president at JCCC to stay on. I'd like to read your joke for this unfunny, yet interesting story.

Mike Sanders makes a case by studying semen. This guy will fit in perfectly in County Government.

"The highway's jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive" and other observations about tragic teenage car accidents.

They have it all locked up

The Star reports that for the second time in recent weeks, a Johnson County Department of Corrections official has resigned amid an apparent internal investigation. The headline of the article claims that "Turmoil continues in Johnson County correctional system" but doesn't actually refer to what the turmoil is, because it's certainly has nothing to do with the lack of minorities in JoCo prisons, they're doing just fine in that respect. It's probably the only aspect that the people of JoCo don't mind multi-culturalism.

Bad Taste

Shields defends her mural. Says it's much more tasteful than a previous instillation that featured Han Solo frozen in carbonite.

And no, this joke never gets old for me.

Town Topics: Slugging it out

Things are getting tougher in KCK OR Quickly search for a way to blame it on the Mexicans who have contributed to nearly all of the economic development in that community as well.

Still, violent crime in KC doesn't matter until it hits your home.

Mom makes sure Freshman will suffer bullying throughout High School.

I guess it's tiring getting overlooked by the Hall of fame.

TIF money for people who actually need it? That's an interesting Prospect.

For your sake, make sure the girls going wild are legal. Again, that's why I prefer MILFs, stretch marks are a sure sign that everything is cool as far as initial age checks are concerned. Still, better to see ID . . . Welfare cards are acceptable as well.

A rare, not so perfect day in Prairie Village

Rock beats scissors and area convenience store

Household Hazardous Waste Collection in North Kansas City OR Time to throw away your wife's candle collection.

The Missouri Department of Natural Resources recently announced it is making approximately $200,000 in federal funds available for projects that protect drinking water sources, including groundwater, lakes, rivers and streams. Much better than spending the rest of your life drinking nasty ass Ozarka that tastes like a plastic bottle.

Smoking will kill you, whereas non-smokers will bore you to death.

Sad that this Kansas Republican comes up with a decent plan when there is no chance he'll ever win.

There is always time for a quick snack

This is a better commercial than money could buy.

See the scam

AG Jay Nixon warns: Watch for Con Artists in Wake of Storms.

I will.

Keep your crackpot schedule filled

EKC has a great list of local activities. There is a ton of good information on local events along with a few things that don't require a tin foil hat for admission.