Like everyone else in Johnson County, I went to the Plaza Art Fair over the weekend. While I was hoping that maybe somebody would drop a wallet or that weird rich guy that gives people 5 grand (and doesn't demand oral sex) would throw me some cash - I still had a good time without spending any cash on the overpriced art or food. The day that I pay ten dollars for a sandwich, the person serving it is going to wear half of it.
Anyway, here are some observations from my visit:
White people smell like Wonder Bread, sunscreen and victory.
Three Latinos in the crowd. My mom knew them all.
White people don't need security. I walked up and down the place and did not see one cop. Needless to say, this kind of thing could not play at a Fiesta or anything involving the Black community. Sometimes we need security at my family gatherings. My grandma will throw her walker any one of my female cousins showing too much cleavage. Anyway, if there was anything valuable on display, there could have been trouble. I guess everyone just got lucky.
To the douchebags walking their dogs in the crowd: Your dog and everyone else thinks your a dick.
If the interracial couples in the crowd were any indication, consider this a TKC dating truism: Skinny white chicks dig interracial dating as long as you let them think that they know more about art then you do.
Unless you were selling hokey microbrews for 5 buck a piece, you didn't sell anything. Nobody goes to the Plaza Art Fair to buy art.
There is nowhere near enough parking on the Plaza for this thing. Either they're going to have to start using a chopper to airlift these white people in OR we should just makeover the whole town with faux Spanish architecture.
The aura of desperation on unmarried white women over the age of 30 was the most brilliant display of colors I've ever seen. My mom pointed it out. Just kidding, neither of us can see auras (because they don't exist) but we did notice that pancaked make up can't cover laugh lines.
Art is nearly a bigger scam than real estate development. Both pretty much exclude minorities and white people paint a pretty picture but the value is only in your mind.
The over hyped art scene will never provide a sustainable basis for economic growth in Kansas City. The PR garnered by overprivileged art school kids and people shopping for something that matches their sofa is truly the most artistic thing on display in this town.
1. I don't think a lot of those artists went to any kind of art school other than the ones you find in the back of a comic book.
ReplyDelete2. The double-wide strollers are more of a pain than any dog sniffing your ass is.
hear, hear on the strollers!
ReplyDeleteboth baby-trucks (strollers) and baby-substitutes (dogs) make other pedestrians trip.
(i didn't go/never go/should have gone to rob people, i guess.)
Even worse than the strollers are the parents who drag big-ass plastic wagons behind them loaded up with brats. Also families that walk side-by-side, very slowly, and constantly stopping in the middle of the flow of foot traffic.
ReplyDeleteI give a pass to the parents because they might not be able to get out otherwise, but the dog people have no excuse. Leave your mangy-assed, way-to-big-to-be-in-crowds, crotch sniffer home for chrissakes. The dogs look miserable, as they try to navigate the crowd and get yanked 15 different ways by their "dog-loving" owners, while every person in the crowd glares on. Gee what fun!
ReplyDeleteI did see ONE cop in the food area off of Nichols. I was actually down in the area to get a computer fixed. Youi are right about the parking, I am just glad I got in early. But the skankdom was out in full force, so it was not a total waste. I did not see any money change hands, kinda sad. But half of the 'art' could have been done by my 6 year old daughter, and at a higher quality.
ReplyDelete