On the subject of the JoCo soccer complex

I thought the facts in this video were being overlooked in the debate. While we all like to pretend that these serious issues are of no importance, I think this blog is the perfect place to discuss them. Enjoy!!!

So I guess they're friends after all

Bush Coming to Missouri for Talent . . . Even though Talent has spent most of the campaign trying to disassociate himself from the Prez. My political advice: Turn it around on McCaskill and figure out a way to play that Turtles "Happy Together" song she remixed for her commercial. No use pretending at this point.

Women lie about everything . . .

Women guilty in health-care plan fraud AND I think PMS is just an excuse to give me a hard time.

"A guy from Kansas City dies and is sent to Hell . . ."

A joke from the KC Kitty made me laugh.

Is the Star using spyware?

I just link . . . Read for yourself.

Update: broken link fixed.

Preparation for The Birds

Here's another scary thought for you today, just because something isn't on featured on the TV news doesn't mean it won't kill you. In that respect, take a look at KC's very politic page regarding preparation for THE BIRD FLU. It looks like they're covered no matter which way it goes . . .

Personally, I think it would be funny to see Hitchcock's racist fantasy come true and Black birds insanely taking revenge and retribution on good looking white people . . .








But that's just a fantasy . . . In truth, most pandemics have a way of beating the hell out of poor, brown people.

Here's the local news report and yet another nightmare that we all pray remains in the Third World long before it makes its way to KC.

My vote for best bar story of the year

Death's Door provides amazing coverage of world's worst costume choice.

Hennessy : The Cognac of KC's Criminal Class

Forget whatever swill that Jay-Z is pushing.

KC criminals are brand loyal and a recent local liquor store break-in and theft of nearly $4,000 worth of goods proves that Hennessy is good stuff.

I know, I'm waiting for 50 cent to endorse a line of bullet proof vests as well.

There is no way to win at a local casino

Even if you beat the horrible odds, even if you avoid the many skanks at the place who may or may not have herpes, even if you resist the temptation to grab the cleavage of the cocktail waitresses and then get thrown out . . . Odds are you still won't make it home safely with any of the casino's cash because of the people in this town who are eager to take your winnings from you. Recently, a local man was shot in the head after a he told some broad that he took down a 10k pot from a local casino. And of course his neighbors didn't see anything. Clearly, this is yet another example of why almost every big gambler is a loser and why you shouldn't talk about money with women.

Believe it or not: Sexual assault in a Subaru

A woman was attacked recently at 38th and Main Street. However, I've drive by that place all the time and I thought the only reason people stopped was for drugs or hookers (I guess) . . . So, a lack of situational awareness is also scary. Also, the broad wasn't hurt.

Sign Stealing = Jaywalking

TV News stations need to stop covering it because it makes people think it's actually an important issue, even if the video is funny. Campaigns have plenty of money to replace the signs and in terms of vandalism it ranks right up there with dog poo in a bag on a front porch step.

"Do party spokespeople really believe the charges they levy against their opponents?"

Combest shares his ideas in a pretty thoughtful post. Also, Tony Snow is too tall.

No time like the Present

The November issue of Present Magazine is out right now. You don't have to go to newsstand and interrupt your important porn watching web surfing. Simply click the link in order to view the only magazine about Kansas City that doesn't make me want to punch someone. And while Present does skew toward hipsterism at least it doesn't blatantly encourage a class war like KC Magazine.

And I thought everybody in JoCo was moving halfway to Oklahoma

Sun Publications will move offices in OP in what can only be described as an attempt to casually avoid former owner Steve Rose without further incident.

Colgate with new curry flavor?

Was that to insensitive? I don't think so, I'd try it . . . Indian food is natural a laxative/appetite suppressant that is too often overlooked. Also, an Indian company will buy Colgate's KCK plant. And that's, like, all the fun of outsourcing with twice the racism; since so many Latinos work at that place.

Bad dog owners get more attention than dead black kids

For the love of Scooby-Doo I'm so sick of reading about news related to dogs: Dog breeder busted for illegal operation

If you support Shields then you deserve to have the shit beaten out of you

No one give her any money! And don't volunteer for her campaign. Seriously, this woman is like a stalker in KC's political scene. Ignore her and maybe she'll go away.

In praise of a blue truck

This post has to be one of the best things I've read regarding a mode of transportation in recent memory. If you want to know why public mass transit will never work in the Midwest, then remember that nobody ever felt this passionately about the bus.

Thanks for the mention Moses!!!

Some great thoughts from one of the finest long form bloggers in the city. Good stuff as always.

"I'm still not voting for that dickhole Talent."

Here is the only honest version of voter sentiment I've seen on the Internet as of late. Courtesy of FBombs.

Mexican Food in the Metro

A great round up of suggestions from Noodletown. Food so good that you'll get deported.

Goombah's at Bobby Barker's

Halloween came early for one of my favorite bloggers.

Rino Fundraising Update

Actually Morrison is Democrat but probably in name only as well. Still, he doubled Kline in terms of fundraising but not in horrible references to fetal tissue. Nice to know the GOP still can't be done in some areas.

The Official Cross-X Website

All of the info you ever wanted about Central High Debate without running the risk of being stabbed.

A trip on The Chiefs Express

A lukewarm review of KCATA Chiefs Express. And metaphorically speaking, the Chiefs Express won't take you to the playoffs and you might not want to sit next to Larry Johnson, unless you want to be smacked.

I've got as many bad ideas as the Bush Administration

He-he. Yeah, those del.icio.us links didn't save me that much time so I'm dumping them like a fat girlfriend.

Also, when you think of 101 U.S. Troops Dead in October, the consequences of me dicking around with my template are pretty small. Additionally, in a recent interview with Fox News, Cheney (Satan) blamed insurgents trying to influence mid-term elections for the spike in the troop death count. Which, if you take the converse of that stupid notion, then the terrorists are in league with the gheys and the scientists and Claire McCaskill . . . And that makes perfect sense.

So, stick around, I've got plenty of other bad ideas that I'd like to show you. Also, does robbing a convenience store count as trick or treating?

Tony On Dallas - NO HOMO!

The best things about blogging? Surprisingly, not the annony sex but the great people that you "meet" through the Internets. I've never seen Dallas Penn face to face but I'm a great fan of his work. He's one of the best writers on the Internet and I'm humbled that Dallas has let me write a few posts on his blog. Honestly, I didn't write much today but I feel like it's one of my the best blogging days I've ever had.

God Bless the Google Toolbar

Yeah, I was pretty much just looking for something to make my blogging easier and this might do it. However, now Google will know every page I'm reading. So expect your traffic and ad rates to go up if you're running a page regarding MILFs. However, if you like the links on the sidebar, let me know. If you've followed this page for long. You know I can never make up my mind about this kind of thing.

Katheryn the Corrupt

She just might be the worst politician in town and she's probably running for Mayor. This should not be a surprise and it's not news but isn't it like some Jedi proverb that you get what you deserve i.e. vote for?

Murdering Mommy Dearest

While I'll admit that the subject is always on my mind, I can't help but noticing that there have been a couple of prominent "Mommy Murder" stories in the news as of late. Is it a trend or are people in this town a bunch of Stewie Griffin wannabes?

Recently, a 37 year-old was charged with murder for beating his mother to death with a hammer and even more recently a fight between neighbors led to gunfire that left a mother dead and Kansas City police looking for suspects.

To a more crass person, this kind of thing might qualify as the ultimate "your mama joke" but I tend to take violence in the media much more seriously. The fact that even a mommy can be murdered should clearly demonstrate that no one is safe from violence in this town . . . Which is as good of a reason as any to move to JoCo, I guess. Still, I don't want to go into the Freudian/oedipal complex background of the whole thing but I should note that only societies in steep decline start taking out their rage on mommies . . . Or, the fact that someone is murdered who happens to be a mother might simply make a good headline and a nice change of pace from merely noting the fact that local homicide victims are almost always minorities.

I'm gonna start calling it "the Slay"

Via Ray. "St. Louis tops the list of the nations most dangerous cities."

Only Beer Inspires Me

One quick thing, I was watching TV and those "Man Law" commercials are pretty funny considering that they are promoting the world's worst beer this side of any thing with pumpkin in it.

Anyway, I was thinking that the concept is great but the execution is limp and cleaned up for football viewing audiences . . . Ever since Janet showed her tittie everything has been boring and safe when it comes to "entertainment" geared toward pro sports watching audiences.

Well, because the concept is so great and because this town is the "worst for singles" in the nation . . . I think KC deserves it's own version of man law that depicts dating and married life in Kansas City. Here goes:

KC Man Law:

*Do not hit a woman . . . With a closed hand.

*No calling women more than once a day. She should be able to provide her whereabouts and meal schedule with a single phone call.

*Crying is permissible. Explaining why is not.

*No phone conversations over 3 minutes. Period.

*Dinner is foreplay.

*Mmmm counts as thank you.

*Any contact from ex-girlfriends means they are unhappy and probably want to have sex with you.

*The only family functions you are required to attend are your own.

*If she didn't ask for something and then didn't get it, she doesn't have a right to complain.

*Childcare doesn't count as a day job.

*You don't have to respect everyone in the armed services. Word to Abu Ghraib.

*Girlfriends must not operate the TV remote control in your presence, not even in their own home.

*Asking to see her sister's ass is not flirting.

*A date rape charge is a sign that you're ugly.

*Female cops don't count. Same goes for firefighters, journalists, doctors (except gyno) and chefs.

*Feel free to throw away any clothes purchased for you by a woman. Including your mom.

*Imported liquor, suits and cars are fine. Imported cheese is not.

*Sushi smells like vagina, you still shouldn't eat it.

*If your group of closest friends is integrated, that means you don't have any.

*Trying hard not to laugh at racist jokes is worse.

*You should know stocks better than sports. Grow up.

*Never trust another man who doesn't love their mother. Unless she's Anna Nicole Smith or some facsimile thereof.

*Sneakers match everything.

*You don't need to take a shower every day. The French have this one right. Baths are out of the question . . . Even with a broad.

*A toupee is fine. A merkin is not.

*Sex toys are permissible but are expressly forbidden to go anywhere near your orifices.

*It's not a lie if she didn't believe it in the first place.

*The term "Interracial dating" only applies to women. Men only need to refer to it as variety.

*Women who have a lot in common with the broads on Sex in the City are called whores in KC.

*Never let a woman from Kansas City lecture you on anything relate to class or culture.

*Adult relationships begin with understanding that you're not her first choice and making her believe that she is yours.

*There are other things to do in Kansas City besides getting married and raising kids. Men often need to remind twenty and thirty something bitches women of this . . . The list goes on . . . .

Heh, I don't think so . . .

Nah, I'm gonna change this when I wake up . . . Some time in the late afternoon. It was a good idea but far too much effort. I'll just have to learn to only link things I'm mildly interested in and Blogger is acting very bitchy right now . . . Also, my headline if the Chiefs would have lost the game they nearly gave away: Jared Allen . . . Drunken Fool.

More Changes Chump

Yes, foo. I'm trying something else because not everything is worth an ass long post but I'm not Kottke and I don't have the skillz to work my del.icio.us links into my main page. Not that I would want to . . . I figure this way (for the moment) gives me what I want. Lots of links and enough space to rant about what I'm interested in . . . This page will keep on changing while the reasons you beat, cheat on or hate your spouse won't.

Talking Trash

Old and busted: Paying attention to what you're doing. New Hotness: Being too busy to get off the damn phone while robbing a bank.

Cell phones while driving? Fine, be a jerk and don't cry when you back over a little kid. A cell phone conversation during dinner? I'd rather not talk anyway and ignoring your conversation is just as good as pretending to listen to you. And as far as young women imitating Paris Hilton and talking on the cell phone during sex . . . Great, whatever you have to do to find a happy place. But dammit there is a line.

While taking someone's money, they deserve your full attention. Some things are just too rude to ignore. It's just wrong to be preoccupied while stealing from someone. You didn't see Dillinger carrying on like some school girl when he was taking care of business. Nope, this is just bad form and even more proof that Americans have become arrogant while stealing. Remember, this country was founded by people ripping up treaties with BOTH HANDS.

Amateur Weekend

Have a good weekend folks. But be careful when you have fun out there because it's not only amateur night, it's amateur weekend if the Chiefs go ahead and start the 3rd string quarterback who has completed nearly as many interceptions as passes.

And speaking of amateur, I recently ran across a modeling page featuring a supposedly local woman who calls herself Amy Leigh, I guess you should be able to tell that she's from the Midwest because of the wheat in the background but I swear I looked at this photo for 3 minutes and 14 seconds and didn't even notice there was a background.

Finally, coming home last night I noticed at least 2 DUI checkpoints. So, you may want to lay off the sauce for a change or at least pack some condoms in order to stay the night at a stranger's house. Anyway, have a good weekend, stay safe and have fun.

Peace.

Taxing travelers right out of KC

Nice post that is pretty unbelievable as far as taxes in this town go. I guess you have to remember that some of those fees pay for the Sprint Center, which has only one tenant for less than two weeks. So there's the payoff . . . I guess.

Sad thing about Smith

You may want to check out a new movie premiering this ONLY THIS WEEKEND down at Screenland.

It's called "Can Mr. Smith Get to Washington Anymore?"

Apparently, the documentary has received some pretty decent press.

While I might see the documentary, I already know the answer. YES, Smith can get to Washington. It just depends which Smith you're talking about . . .

Dog Killing Kids in Court

Here's the thing, they're rich kids from Overland Park who have parents that can afford a decent lawyer to plea the thing down. Despite letters from PETA and a bit of dramatic TV coverage, they'll probably beat the case . . . Animal cruelty is yet another instance in which only poor people have the book thrown at them.

Kline had second thoughts about creepy commercials

The guy has issues and can't make up his mind. Fortunately, his poll numbers are more decidedly clearer . . . They keep trending downward.

Pretty in Pink

Nice to see that cowboys aren't afraid to go brokeback for breast cancer: For each audience member donning pink, the American Royal donated $1. For each rodeo contestant, a $10 donation was made to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation of Kansas City.

Local Revs say salvation lies in science

Wow! Stem Cells cure diseases and line pockets! I was in favor before but this is just amazing!

Some team in St. Louis won something

I'm really surprised that Aljazeera is reporting this as well but damn if those Midwestern infidels don't play damn fine baseball.

The public is so dirty, politicians don't want to touch them

Awesome hand sanitizer story highlighted by Drudge that should put most politico glad handing in perspective.

It starts with the Mexicans and ends with you

An admittedly lefty link, still some pretty frightening stuff if Bush uses his newfound power to declare martial law: The law also facilitates militarized police round-ups and detention of protesters, so called "illegal aliens," "potential terrorists" and other "undesirables" for detention in facilities already contracted for and under construction by Halliburton. That's right. Under the cover of a trumped-up "immigration emergency" and the frenzied militarization of the southern border, detention camps are being constructed right under our noses, camps designed for anyone who resists the foreign and domestic agenda of the Bush administration.

The Argument Machine is no more

I have no idea why someone would spend all day chatting on a message board, seems like that's even worse than Daytime TV but people do and the Argument Machine seemed to have a pretty decent following. The Pitch is threatening to start a local music message board if it doesn't devolve into personal bickering but I thought that was pretty much the point of message boards in the first place.

KC Development: IT'S ALL NOTHING BUT ABATEMENT

The KC Biz Journal reports that a $6 million renovation of Rivergate Business Center will begin in November after the Kansas City Council on Thursday boosted the downtown Kansas City building's property tax abatement. Now, promoting business in this town is fine but, as of late, virtually everyone who moves here is standing in line for an abatement. The fire sale needs to stop, this town is not so horrible that we need to offer everyone incentives. It's well past time that this city needs to do something in order to decrease it's debt load rather than making sure all the right business people have their discount. Kay's tenure has seen nothing but corporate welfare and very little pay off.

And one day, I might just have enough money to care about fine dining in KC

Probably not and nothing tastes better than General Tso's anyway. Anyway, Starkers Sells. The Biz Journal reports: "The founder and owner of Starker's Reserve on the Country Club Plaza has sold the upscale restaurant to his executive chef for an undisclosed amount."

Really, don't trust real estate developers

Man Gets More Than 12 Years in Prison for Mortgage Fraud Scheme

URDANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHITE WOMEN ARE DANGEROUS!!!

Don't you ever forget it, punk. (Also, the Northland is popping . . . Presently)

I thought a billion dollars would buy a lot better than 3rd string

The Chiefs might be sending in Brodie Croyle? Seriously? KC gets 3rd string after all the money this town sent their way?????? Unfair and nothing more than a plan to lose a crucial midseason game. Yet another horrible move by Herm Edwards. Brodie, really?

Cheney can't speak anywhere but a military base

Cheney Rallies Troops At Whiteman AFB because he would be booed off the stage anywhere else. Thing is, I don't necessarily think Bush is that bad but even the most diehard Republican will almost concede that Cheney is the embodiment of every negative thing you've ever heard about the Military Industrial Complex. Think about it, the Bush administration without him and Rumsfeld almost seems quaint and there's no way to argue that the War in Iraq would have went any worse without these two.

Does anybody notice the Northland is getting rougher?

2 Robbers Hit Northland Bank

Beta Fish

Here's just a quick thought that nobody but bloggers on Blogger will care about BUT . . . I'm not switching to Beta until they come up with a function that can TIME the output of the posts.

The label, tag function is nice but, really, who cares? The point and click template feature is nice but so few people need it that it's pretty much worthless. Really mom's can either figure the HTML out on their own or meet an Internet predator in order to do it. AND, the feature enabling you to control who reads your blogs is for people who need to get a diary instead.

Put simply, THE ONLY FUNCTION I WANT out of blogger is the ability to write something and then have it publish to the web while I'm sleeping or out watching porn. Not only would that make this page more useful it would allow me the kind of leisure time I need in order to read all of the magazines for free at Barnes & Noble. All of these other "features" seems like they can be done with only a few simple hacks anyway.

"What it means to be a Barbarian Christian"

I like this local's take on the subject just about as much as I hate volunteer work. Eh, it's not like I mind the masses as much as I mind the smell. Still, a good read.

Sign Language

Northeast News publishes an interesting article regarding the ongoing feud between Union Station Kansas City, Inc. management and Corinthian Hall proponents. A fight over an ugly looking sign at the KC Museum (and the paper's description of it) signal that the struggle for naming rights and ownership of The Kansas City Museum continues to get ugly.

Dog Day in Independence

Friday is the deadline for Independence pit bull owners to register their dogs and might be a good time for the local media to forget about the puppies and focus on the people dying in this town. I know minorities aren't as lovable as pets but the government hasn't yet passed legislation to outlaw them. Except the illegal Mexicans of course . . . Screw you and your Chihuahua.

CLAY GOING AWAY!!!

I can't think of a better way to start your day. Not that we haven't heard this before but I'm glad the guy has found someone else to bother. And I wonder what the odds are of him taking Kay with him, since that headline would rhyme as well.

KC's black voters could tip the balance

Good for them, I guess. They usually get a better price than the local Latinos but they do have a bigger population. This time of year is one of the best opportunities to make all of that condescending talk from politicos pay . . . And since all politicos are completely clueless as to how political persuasion works in minority communities (i.e. the non-profit and church bus lines to the polls) then payoffs are the least they can do . . . Seeing as how you won't see them again until the next election or photo op.

Kansans Smarter than Missouri Residents

That's not fair. We've got Independence dragging us down. And the Ozarks, and Branson and Jeff City and the damn boothill and every war zone in St. Louis. Aw damn.

Because people are really interested in research and not porn

Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) has released tips for bloggers who want the inside story on government agencies. The Bloggers' FAQ on the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) outlines how to use open government laws to get access to records kept by federal agencies like the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), or the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

Clearly, McCaskill understands the plight of common man

She recently borrowed half a rock ($500,000) against her home in order finance her campaign.

Thelma and Louise plus 35 pounds

Ugh, this kills me that I can't find a photo of the outlaw Urdang sisters who each were charged with first-degree robbery, attempted robbery, and two counts of armed criminal action after robbing a Northland restaurant and attempting to rob a gas station.

Urdang!

I don't know the story of what motivated these big beautiful women to a life of crime but it probably had something to do with snaking. Damn, I know these photos won't be up until around noon and believe it or not I've got other things to do. Anyway, just imagine a pair of angry, heavyset white women holding knifes. Scary I know. We'll call this one BREAKING . . . And I'll grab a photo of these broads later in the day just for my own "use" . . . Despite all of my misogyny, I'm all for strong women.

Let's not be so harsh until after the playoffs

Chiefs Player's Court Date Pushed Back

For the most part, life is a series of hand me downs from JoCo

Actually the Johnson County Library Fall Used Book Sale is a pretty good deal.

Sale hours are:

* Friday, November 3 - 10:00 a.m.- 8:00 p.m.
* Saturday, November 4 - 9:00 a.m.-3:00 p.m.

And they wondered why playtime always involved listening to Phish

A second grade teacher was busted for smoking pot on school property during the school day. It happened in Independence MO, at Luff Elementary Thursday afternoon.

Hookers on Troost: Lack of space in lockup won't stop spread of disease

Because of limited city and county jail capacity, people charged with prostitution are soon released from custody.

Tragic and scary just like that horrible movie with Cedric the Entertainer

Woman Shot Inside KCK Barbershop

Dumbasses on Parade

I hope they didn't catch a cold in the wet weather or these short sighted protesters may need some of that medical science that they hate to save their ass. Also, it's so sad to me that whenever you see people with no clue . . . A Catholic is leading the way: "Kansas City Bishop Robert Finn has included a letter in a flier being mailed by the Catholic Church. The letter called embryonic stem cell research "bad science" that goes "too far," and he urged Catholics to vote against Amendment 2." I know somebody who isn't getting a Leo DiCaprio during his teenage years clone!!!!

LoveSexy

Snyder Asks K-State Fans To Support Prince

For awhile I actually thought this story was going to be intersting. Turns out it has nothing at all to do with 3121, which is a really great CD.

Channel 9 reports: "Bill Snyder, who took Kansas State from perpetual futility to national prominence in his 17 seasons as the Wildcats coach, issued a plea for fans to cut first-year coach Ron Prince some slack."

New Pictures of the Porter Kids

Retouched photos of the kids who've been missing since '04 have recently been released. They've aged the kids and tastefully decided to leave out the effects of decomposition and worm feeding.

"Victory Over Terrorism Day!"

You must read this awesome post from the X-man. He dreams of the day when the War on Terror will be won, he explains how. It's a plan for victory. I can't wait for the day. I think it happens on the first of Octember.

"Why do candidates even bother with campaign advertising?"

A stellar post from Emawkc not only provides some insightful political analysis but also reminds you to invest in TiVo.

On the subject of the shakes

OR, All of this national media coverage just proves how few people understand Missouri politics. With the best of intentions Americablog writes:

Concerning the subject: Limbaugh physically mocked Parkinson's patients . . . "The question remains whether Republicans Jim Talent (MO), Michael Steele (MD), and Mark Green (WI) are going to publicly demand that Limbaugh apologize to the innocent Americans he mocked on their behalf."

I wouldn't count on it. Especially since Talent seems to be keeping it close, which is good considering how he's in bed with a President who is losing a war. In the coming days watch for both sides to start rallying the base (No homo? Especially the Republicans. Har.) and look at how the undecideds - who will decide the election - will be all but ignored.

It's like me, only crazy and white

A loyal reader from Northeast has finally started a blog rather than keeping his keen (read:crazy) insights on one of those crappy Geocities pages. It's a good move and even better content. Check him out as he already unleashes a torrent on Northeast News by way of introduction.

More proof that most webstats are garbage

Rocketbooming: Making up page views in order to get ad money and make it seem like you have a real audience . . . The answer, "TKCing it" . . . Making your content so racist, crude and misogynistic without using pornography (all the time) so that no advertiser would dare touch you in the first place. Also, I like the way that Ze has been so forthright about his stats. In my case, everyone in Kansas City reads this page so there is no reason to exaggerate. Also, Kansas City is composed completely of my family and women who used to date me.

You'll get a ticket for being a Democrat in JoCo

I didn't know that a bumper sticker made your car a "Campaign vehicle" as a woman was cited in connection with campaigning illegally because she parked her car at Metcalf South Mall, which is a polling place. Funny, these folks would run in the other direction (heh, they already have) if they got a look at KC electioneers. I was one and it's pretty much common practice to get in the face of as many people as possible to pass out campaign literature (mostly lies) and push your party. 250ft? That's funny.

Not exactly News: One of many KCMO public schools remains out of control

Classes were dismissed early Thursday afternoon at Westport High School because of a fight.

Never believe a female at any age

Here is the consequence of local TV news and politicians being obsessed with perv watch stories: The police have the right to randomly break into your house just to make sure you're not kidnapping or molesting someone based on little more evidence than some lying little girl. Damnit, doesn't anyone remember The Crucible?!!! And most people don't know how thick this kind of drama can get . . . I grew up around lying little white girls and I know for a fact that they are the most cruel, vindictive and self-righteous people on the planet. You only have to take a look at My Super Sweet 16 to know that these people (white girls) are worse than terrorists. Check it:

The 13-year-old told her father she and a friend had been kidnapped.

She told him she escaped, but a man was still holding her friend hostage in a house on East 123rd Street near North Ridgeview Road.

Her father called police, and the girl led officers to the house.

When police barged in, they found a family eating dinner. No one was holding anyone hostage there. Officers told KCTV5 News that they felt horrible for the unsuspecting family, but they had no choice but to believe the girl.

This is why I ignore Amber Alerts on general principle. In addition to the fact that this country and its media suffer from Missing White Woman Syndrome to near Michael J. Fox proportions. It's time to ignore white females like they were minorities, unless they are MILF's wearing bikinis . . . And then they probably deserve your undivided attention.

Everybody loves a discount drug pusher

Wal-Mart Stores Inc. said Thursday that it is offering its $4 generic prescription drug program in 12 additional states, including Missouri and Kansas.

This town is going to the dogs

The Animal Health Association coming to KC next year.

Y'all better give Tall Paul better tips

I could post my usual working class warfare garbage regarding this story but I'm really just amazed at anybody who can work the same gig for 33 YEARS. And, it's always good to read about a KC Institution that actually helps people.

Congrats to Combest!!!

One of Missouri's best bloggers inked what seems to be a syndication deal of sorts with another website looking to form a national network. Here's the press release copy: "The Hotline Political Network is pleased to have as a member johncombest.com - Missouri's "one-stop shop" for the state's most comprehensive daily collection of news articles and opinion pieces." Hotline is an online venture of the National Journal Group which is "a leading publisher of magazines, newsletters, books and directories for people who have a professional interest in politics, policy and government."

"The Network will allow the Hotline's influential readers to quickly access superior state and local coverage on top of the comprehensive, ground-breaking reporting on national politics they get from The Hotline."

Anti-immigrant proponents kill cats

It's always fun when nearby residents take part in politics. Still, what else have we learned today? Basically, the fence that is nothing more than a detour and racist graffiti and kitty murder is the level of discourse for a great number of folks from the anti-immigrant crowd. Not that it matters much and it's simply just another reason to label nearly all white people as racist in much the same way that so many talk show pundits have made a habit of demonizing every Latino who has the temerity to vote or join an advocacy organization. It's hardly worth pointing out that name calling does little to work towards immigration reform that is just as important for Mexicans as it is for scared middle class folks . . . Especially when name calling is so much fun. But I do think it's important to note that the racial element of anti-immigrant rhetoric is far more apparent than any nationalistic aims of those who advocate immigration reform. Honestly, the Mexicans have a country and it's a hell hole . . . They don't want a new one . . . And it's hard to start a revolution while cleaning toilets. Also, only squirrels are afraid of leaf blowers.

Another TV report on Myspace mischief

Surprisingly, this local news item has nothing to do with pervs but notes a weird trend of password and profile stealing.

BAP Drinks Red Bull at RecordBar

Insipid in the City: The writing of Jenee Osterheldt makes a much better argument against female columnists than I ever could.

Trent Green will never be the same again

I know that sports reporting in this town basically means that you take PR copy from the corporate head office (no homo?) and squirt it back in the face of local fans (ewww) but there is very little honest discussion about the future of Trent Green.

The guy's career is over and it's sad and a bit dangerous that nobody is advising him to simply hang it up. This story almost writes itself. The next major hit the guy takes is going to end his career and all this encouragement about his return is more dangerous than anything else. Already, they're being way too cautious with the guy and the reticence is really just showing how weak the poor old man is . . . There is no old timer's day in football and if sports writers in this town had more guts (radio is actually pretty honest about this) , they (sportswriters) would leave a note to Trent that he needs to hang it up.

There's no crying in baseball but there is suing

Woman Injured By Foul Ball Wants Royals To Pay. It'll probably be a much cheaper settlement than most other cases involving the Royals' balls. And why do women always feel like they deserve money when they take balls to the face? Hopefully, this woman will get her payday and it'll provide hope to broads all around the area . . . Seeing as this might be the first woman to make a substantial amount of money from touching the balls of a big loser.

MoHELA money

The story is a little hard to follow because it's so boring but I was surprised learn how much cash is wrapped up in Baby Blunt's plan to finance a college construction boom with assets from Missouri Higher Education Loan Authority. Recently, the Chairwoman quit and then there's a controversial severance package worth more than $830,000 and then $350 million in MoHELA money to public colleges and universities over six years. And all of the details of that cash makes me feel a little bit worse about living off of Ramen for 4 years.

Barkley Backs Big Oil

The Kansas City-based advertising firm is going to try and depict Citgo as a charitable company. If I were them, I'd try to blame destroying the environment, assassinating presidents, starting wars, manipulating gas prices for political gain and killing the electric car on the Mexicans. Also they might want to use that Turtles song "So Happy Together" because it's working wonders for Claire McCaskill.

It's best not to trust women in the shadows

Channel 9 gets every last juicy drop of this 15 year-old story and brings back some old broad who probably looks better in the dark to tell her story.

Sadly, the only thing that surprises me about the whole thing is Kline's desperation and his (poor) reasoning that anyone would want an Attorney General this sleazy. Honestly, Kline's focus on an old case that was dismissed just might be the biggest dick move in Kansas since Bob Dole got his first bottle of Viagra.

Biodiesel can't save the planet from lawyers

Organizers of a proposed biodiesel plant in Kansas City have agreed to pay nearly $24,000 to settle concerns raised by state securities regulators.

Mom's just a little nicer today and even left breakfast at the foot of the basement door. Damn straight!

Man charged with murdering his mother with hammer

"2 men shot in the street, no witnesses"

That headline says it all about the recent upswing in murders in this town. I'll go out on a limb here and I'm guessing that if the weather doesn't get too cold (damn you Global Warming) Kansas City will hit 100 murders again.

A Plan for the GOP

Awesome post. You can read the next post by F Bombs at www.guantanamobaycuba.blogspot.com.

"I don't see how anyone could be against finding cures for diseases."

Me neither. But then I guess we're talking about cures other then prayer. And that's when you start making people mad.

The Craziest Man who occasionally visits Kansas City

If you read a recent Pitch profile of Chastain and info about a light rail pipe dream that will never happen you'll probably join the incredibly long list of people begging the guy to go away.

Lou Dobbs in KC roundup

The Pitch provides an inside look at Lou "Get out of here Pablo" Dobbs in this article that reveals that few people from KC actually participated in the book promotion Lou Dobbs' visit.

Damn it, I hate not posting during the day

Oh, my God I'm sooooo sorry I only put up 25 posts yesterday!!! Up above is a photo of KCK model Kally that more than makes up for my absence. In fact, the photo has so many Freudian things going for it that I'm getting flashbacks of my Psych 101 class. Anyway, I miss you when we stay apart too long. Let's never fight again.

Update: Huh, the hottie has a website that hasn't been updated since 04. Which makes me wonder if she has turned to prostitution already or she's still working her way down the ladder from modeling, to stripping and then maybe a few "dates" . . . Or on the brighter side, she could have attained a job in PR and lasted at least another 15 years before she would be forced use something other than her extremely good looks in order to earn a buck.

News compilations are tight

A rare post on the old blog TFK provides a ton of links to heated political debates.

Revenge of the Republicans: Jesus Hates Cloning

Rather than let Claire McCaskill look horrible on her own . . . The easiest thing in the world to do by the way . . . The Republicans and stem cell research opponents have decided to embarrass themselves on Youtube like so many video bloggers who (mistakenly) think they're good looking enough to be in front of the camera.

By now, most of you (my fellow news junkies) have already seen the Republicans response to the Michael J. Fox video. After watching it a few times and seeing television reporters act like they're so super informed because they read the Drudge Report as well, I had one thought:

Michael J. Fox has Parkinson's and that's why he's fucked up, desperate and being taken advantage of by Claire's camp. What excuse do these people have for acting so embarrassingly naive on YouTube?

Here's the short (bus) list of the minor celebrity Republicans and anti-science flakes who decided to shill. It's sad really, I mean Fox was in Doc Hollywood and that movie rocked the balls. These folks are minor league by comparison:

Jim Caviezel: I think he actually breaks down some Aramaic in the beginning of this video. Here's the translation: "I'm doomed to be typecast for the rest of my career because of a drunk Nazi!"

Jeff Suppan: Doesn't realize that even a World Series pitcher can look stupid in retrospect. Anybody remember Bret Saberhagen? His ex-wife's lawyer can tell you how hard sports heroes fall.

Kurt Warner: If he's so smart then why is he stuck in Arizona?

Patricia Heaton: Actually, this is a good move for her. She rose to fame by being paid to be act like a bitch. If that kind of career has any future, it's with the Republican Party . . . My vote is for some hot lady on lady action with her and Coulter.

Mike Sweeney: Jesus, clone 8 more of him and the Royals still couldn't stop from losing 100 games a season. Whenever the Royals are on your side, you know you've got a hopeless, losing cause.

Finally, here's a few things to notice about the video if you haven't already:



I'm pretty sure that Jim Caviezel now actually thinks that he's Jesus. And that's too bad because the only Jewish celebrity I really like is Jerry Seinfeld. Note that Caviezel appears in what looks to be a church sculpture garden in the middle of the day instead of, ya know, making movies.

Also, the term "Republican celebrity" is an oxymoron.

Alex P. Keaton racked up nearly 3 more views than the anti-science response did.

Talent isn't completely against Stem Cell Research and really only needs the right lobbyist to "convince" him.

And when the hell did cloning become such a bad word? I want human clones! I figure that's the only way I'll ever get to feel Scarlett Johansson's big ol' breasticles without going to jail.

Don't tell anyone you're Mexican and lie to pollsters

Missouri Secretary of State Robin Carnahan reminds you of some other less important things to remember on the day of the huge election.

New (to me) blog: Across-the-Board

A really interesting blog that I've started reading thanks to JJ. It's been around for quite awhile and seems to have a pretty good following. So I've got some catching up to do.

Everyone is a writer

I'm surprised to learn that these Missouri guys don't already know that TV programming is so formulaic that it doesn't even need writers anymore. The story of a man breaking his brother out of prison was probably not stolen but most likely generated by a soulless computer that has an intimate knowledge of audience preferences i.e. sounds like any entertainment executive I've ever read about . . . Also, the show is horribly unrealistic if it involves prison but doesn't so much as mention ass rape . . . Which is the only deterrent to crime that ever convinced me that I didn't want to spend any time in jail.

Either or

Poll Shows Talent, McCaskill Still Running Even. Here's evidence to the contrary. Trust no one.

Ugly Fence Protects Cemetery

Works much better than reverence for the dead. No wonder so many of those (dead) people turn to Zombie gangs in order earn respect.

Save the outskirts

Lots of interesting (real estate) developments outside the city for a change. Still, it's the same principle, developers pushing high prices and profits at the expense of people:

Olathe leaders say their city remains an affordable oasis within Johnson County.
- Now if only they could figure out a way to keep all of the minorities out.

The Blue Springs Planning Commission on Monday night unanimously agreed to recommend approval for a comprehensive plan change for the project proposed for east of Missouri 7 and north of S.E. Colbern Road.
- The problems of nearby residents were routinely dismissed.

A developer's request to modify a Blue Springs comprehensive plan to build more multi-family units at a proposed Gibson Estates met with stiff resistance
- In other words, more people around town are realizing that a great number of real estate developers are dicks and must be opposed.

A bike lane on the Paseo Bridge would be an insult to the working class

These people (rich white hobbyists with expensive bicycles) have already won millions from MoDot for a bike lane on the Heart of America but (like Hitler) they can't be stopped with mere appeasement. There is no evidence that biking has helped the economy or the environment, it merely increases the self-esteem of people who already have too much leisure time YET MILLIONS COULD BE WASTED IF LOCAL CYCLISTS GET THEIR WAY.

A great day in Gladstone!!!

The Gladstone City Council has placed a moratorium on issuing business and occupation licenses to payday, title and signature loan businesses. Now if they could pass an ordinance slapping anyone using these services and explaining that Italian loan sharks offer more reasonable rates . . . That, my friend, would be progress.

State sponsored killing makes everyone feel better

The word "closure" could possibly be the silliest term ever popularized by television newscasts and quack psychologists.

Hot Mama Likes to Party!!!

Shannon Wilkinson was recently arrested after police found her passed out drunk behind the wheel of a running vehicle with her two young children strapped inside.

Because suburban, WASPy, JoCo white folks come from a culture I don't understand, someone snitched on her at the grocery store instead of actually helping her out and her kids were picked up safely after the arrest. Seems like her biggest problem is multi-tasking - which I never believed in - And somehow this story is comforting and not scary at all as far as I'm concerned. Nice to know there's still a drunk chick lurking inside even the most modest JoCo housewife.

Here's another photo of the broad that might evoke a compassionate response:



As if white women didn't have enough sympathy already.

Brown people without insurance are basically going to die

No complex surgery for the darkies without an insurance card. Please never let anyone give me problems about the term "White Privilege."

Reason #4,293 why my Mom wants me out of her basement

Son questioned after woman found dead in her home

You damn kids are killing me

Prosecutors have charged a second suspect in the slaying of Dominique Henderson, a 12-year-old fatally shot in his backyard in June 2005.

Tornado Tower in Edwardsville could draw crowd of dozens

And that's a dozen too many for nearby neighbors, who live out to the stinks in order to avoid people.

Johnny Rowlands has a hot wife

In my opinion, all TV news people have to prove they aren't the ghey since so many of them keep it on the downlow as to not disgust the old ladies who watch the nightly broadcast. Johnny Rowlands does it in style and puts up some pretty impressive wedding photos as well. Nice work, much nicer than my parents wedding shots which actually included a few shotguns in the background.

This is America . . . Speak Spanish

Lee's Summit Students Learn to Speak Chinese so that one day they might be able to give orders to people forced to work in slave labor.

"The problem with being a political blogger"

A fitting analogy from one of my favorite bloggers. Reading his post I was glad that KC always gives me a variety of topics of which to take interest and if I ever get bored with politics I can always just keep track of the body count . . . Both seem to be social ills that are never going away.

Breakfast at Cascone's

I refuse to eat with Italians any more but this is actually a nice review of a KC institution.

Angsty local blogger photo of the day

My vote is for Mac. The smart leather jacket is just one of many indications the guy is a brilliant writer.

"It's not Fascism when we do it"

Local blogger F Bombs drops a great post that examines some eerie similarities.

Lasaro Lets Loose

A flurry of great posts from this local blogger who you should make a regular read.

The Fall Forecast

This is Tori, she's a model from KC and sadly the only thing this photo makes me think of is that the weather is soon going to turn cold(er). Oh, yeah and how much I like white women.

JDoubleP is looking good

I like this town so much that it's skyline looks good from every angle. Even behind a computer screen.

New blog: Moving Forward

A newborn Myspace blog from a guy who describes himself as a Barbarian Christian. He's looking to become a minister as well. Keep sending me new blogs peeps. I like reading and linking them.

A corporate relocation near Kansas City

A great "slice of life" post regarding adventures in home buying. I think the process is actually quite fascinating in the way that it makes paying rent seem like such a simple thing.

Kline can now only sling mud

Debate Between Kline, Morrison Takes Nasty Tone as the current AG begins to publicly implode. Also, desperation is a smelly cologne.

Another Nice Page from Parrish

He calls it "the long night" and he makes really great use of a white pen and a masterfully subtle style. Great stuff, go look.

Today's reason to hate Mexicans

Arrow Electronic Components in Lenexa will close in the spring cutting 100 jobs, and sending its work to a new facility in Mexico. And with more undocumented Mexicans coming to work at lower paying jobs everyday there might be a temptation to blame them and not the corporate folks who benefit from outsourcing and cheap labor. Funny thing is, a vote for the Democrats won't change any of this . . . Your time might be better spent learning a new skill set instead of lamenting all of the damn brown people on the planet who want to work and pointlessly fighting the future.

Honestly, all of the news about outsourcing and immigration could be perceived as threatening to the American middle class if you intently listen to fear mongers all day (talk radio) but then you might realize that the media is one the last bastions of white privilege and I'm sure the people who lost jobs making buggy whips were pretty pissed as well. Remember, all of their rhetoric is predicated on the principle that it should be easy to make a living, and that has never been the case.

Plug Pulled on Power Plant

A decision by a Cass County circuit court judge might mean that Aquila could be forced to tear down a $140 million power plant.

Here's the money line: Judge Joseph Dandurand, in his Oct. 19 ruling, said that the Missouri PSC had misinterpreted that passage to mean Aquila could, post-construction, get a certificate from the state, though a certificate could only be granted before the plant was built.

"Expedience and efficiency would dictate a ruling in favor of Aquila," Dandurand said in his ruling. "Taking the oath to uphold the constitution and the laws of the State of Missouri, efficiency and expediency is not the court's ultimate consideration." And all of this is certainly surprising to me, because I thought that polluters had all the power. Nice to see somebody else flexing their muscles for a change.

Running a reverse

A man robs a Check Into Cash store in Mission rather than the other way around.

Killing out of kindness

Missouri hunters are making donations of meat through the "Share the Harvest" Program. And here I thought the area hunters were going to help the needy locals by killing them. Which is totally wrong . . . Unless we're talking about panhandlers.

Show Me blogs

John Combest compiles better than your mother cooks. Seriously, great roundup of regional blogger posts.

Scout System Signals Drive Time

Messages on the Scout system, which I've never used or paid attention to, are soon to be a little more informative and provide travel times to key destinations i.e. away from the local minorities.

In fact, the messages are going to be so good that you might actually take notice for a change. Here are some examples of the messages you might see on your way home:

*Delay ahead: Traffic ahead is moving so slow that your wife's lover will have time to give her a massage.

*15 minute back up on I-35 South, you'll have to pay your Mexican maid 35 cents extra. Lo siento.

*Roads all clear, so you can quickly get back home to your empty life.

*Traffic accident ahead in 1.3 miles. Cell phone call gave broker bad news about real estate bubble.

And the top message delivered by the new Scout System: More than a half an hour to get to the Northland? Get the fuck out of town!

Where the white peole are eating

Wil Jenny's . . . Don't ask me why.

Judge Smokes Shook

U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia Judge Gladys Kessler criticizes local law firm in "a blistering 1,742-page opinion." Follow the link to read a really long article about the history of Shook, Hardy & Bacon and their "zealous" defense of the tobacco industry. It's a nice article but fails to mention how much money (billions) is involved. Confession: A long time ago I took a tiny bit of this money to pay for grad school so I can't really get on a high horse about this one other than to say that this whole debate can be solved if they simply started calling cigarettes "tumor sparks" instead.

Plant Tulips on Troost rather than pushing up daisies

The first TroostAvenue.com Tulip Project planting date is this Saturday, October 28th and volunteers are needed to help prepare the beds and plant the tulip bulbs. Subsequent planting dates are on Saturdays 11/5 and 11/11/06. Crews will be working beginning at 8AM till dusk on Troost Avenue between 24th and 76th Streets.

KCCraigslist ad of the day

The prospect of a "nice girl" looking for casual sex with no strings attached is enough to make your head explode until you realize it's probably a man or somehow related to a Nigerian banking scheme. Nowadays, I've started to wear a condom just for surfing the net . . . Which makes it a lot harder to type for some reason. Natch.

Cross Country Communication

Publicity for Joe's new book is ramping up big time but KC Currents always provides some really great local perspective on their stories. Check out the latest interview with Joe regarding his book and his first meeting with the Central Debate Squad in which, surprisingly, he was not mugged.

The Ghosts of the Battle of Westport

They'll haunt you almost as horribly as herpes from a present day Westport skank.

Cops in KC don't like Alonzo Washington

I don't know why, he supports them. But then again, he reminds the KCPD that they have a lot of work to do regarding preventing child abuse by other members of their department.

Also, I have to ask about what efforts the KCPD has in place to put some kind of check and balance against someone in their department who had the right to walk around with a gun among the citizenry but clearly had anger management issues. Scary when you think of the obviously short fuse on the guy and how the locals can scream their head off just as loud as any kid.

The last place to watch white people dance without laughing

Kansas City Ballet 2006-2007 Season

Killing Cousins

The most senseless crime regarding going to Grandma's House since little Red Riding Hood: The Star reports that Jackson County prosecutors on Monday accused a man of fatally shooting his cousin Sunday night because he thought the cousin wasn't going to take him to his grandmother's house.

KC is only down 25 murders from last year

I didn't know this but Steve Penn reveals that murders actually trend upward in this town right before X-mas . . . Which always makes me want to kill somebody too. Clearly, local African-Americans and Latinos have proven lazy in yet another area.

Believe it or not, there is a difference between creepy, bossy white guy lawyers

Politically speaking of course, in every other respect Phill Kline and Paul Morrison are exactly the same person only with different bad haircuts. Still, only Kline wants your medical records to prove a point on talk shows.

"All things related to Un"

A classic collection of random thoughts from this Lawrence blogger.

It's hard to take soccer seriously

This local blogger doesn't exactly sing the praises of a new stadium but he offers a serious alternative post . . . While I think the tune he's playing in his first entry makes sense.

Help young women by getting drunk

KC Kitty reports on the upcoming Soroptimist International of Kansas City wine tasting event: "For just $15, you can try a variety of delicious local wines along with appetizers and snacks. Proceeds will fund the club's grant program benefiting organizations that improve the lives of women and girls."

"PIEA has never met a tax giveaway they didn't like"

Mark Forsythe explains what this means other than the fact that it's simply more money off the table for KC: "The Planned Industrial Expansion Authority has granted tax abatements to the condo developer of the old J.I. Case building at 2117 Broadway in the Crossroads."

Northeast Hooker Photos from this Summer!

Via Hip and Critical News

Ah, the seasons change and suddenly you're going to have to do a better job of picking up skanks in Westport because it's too cold for them on the street.

Listen to Little Miss Chatterbox on the radio

I love it when local bloggers get media attention and LMC is very deserving of the interest. Agree with her or not, her conservative blog is written with a lot of passion. To listen to her appearance, check out this page to find out how to listen.

Ruskin Students working to change their image

They're offering to paint your house AND not beat the shit out of you.

Overland Park is not zoned for charity

If you were looking for even more proof that the people of Johnson County are the most selfish, horrible people on the planet then you may want to take a look at their recent effort to thwart a church trying to renovate "crumbling" facilities in order to continue their charitable work.

Last week, I linked to a story about a church getting robbed in the hood but hassling a group of people for doing volunteer work seems only slightly less sleazy.

Nice to see that nearby neighbors have also tried to band together in order to try and get some concessions on the project, they say that it's a commercial enterprise but here are some of the things that go on in the place that neighbors find so disturbing:

The facility houses a day-care center, a food pantry, a storage room for medical supplies that go to missions overseas, and several groups meet there, including Boy Scouts and a churchgoers who speak Swahili.

I guess that's a lot of foot traffic but, as I noted previously, you would have to be a horribly selfish bastard to organize, protest and demand an end to these kind of things. In other words, you'd have to be from Johnson County. Honestly, there is no arguing with the fact that living in JoCo is nearly the moral equivalent of residing in Berchtesgaden during the early 40's . . . And I'm writing that without an ounce of hyperbole up my sleeve.

KMBC-TV profits from and then reports on misleading political advertising

Channel 9's "AD WATCH" has to be the dumbest thing on TV this side of Survivor. It's mind numbing to see a report on the same commercial that the station just aired 20 seconds ago . . . The they proceed to try and provide some perspective on the claims of the ad which basically just end up repeating the premise of the spot YET AGAIN. This is probably the television news equivalent of posting photos of your cat only it's more expensive, must help their ad dollars and makes less sense.

I'd put my money on the cops in the annual Guns 'N Hoses (No homo?) boxing match

Think about it, given recent baby killing events it's clear that the cops have a lot more pent up rage than the firefighters. Seems like firefighters are too busy getting laid to worry about taking care of (he-he) babies. Also, what's the deal with the name of the tournament? That's the most phallic, blatantly the ghey subtextual message I've ever seen since Jackass 2.

Perv Watch in Overland Park . . . Again

Sheltered kids and housewives seem to be going stir crazy and paranoid. I had no idea that there were pervs lurking around corner seeing as though they're usually under constant surveillance . . . Oh wait, there the media doesn't like reporting that there is little need for panic and most molesters are probably members of your own family not psychos waiting behind bushes. The bogeyman does exist, but he's probably your uncle.

These are the breaks

A bit of business news that I've been reading:

Developer seeks to buy ex-Kmart building in Blue Springs
- Hard to believe that the economy is getting better when only the BGM seems to be making any progress. Well, I guess there is the DOW to consider but the closest I've ever come to owning stock was giving an bad rating to a mutual fund manager who was selling outdated porn on ebay.

KC dentist gets $80,000 in Missouri tax credits
- Sadly, none of these funds are going toward getting better magazines.

Sprint Nextel opens cable facility in West Bottoms
- I guess is good news unless they plan on moving the West Bottoms to India.

I've never known a drug dealer of any kind who was trustworthy

Man Gets 13 Years For Selling Fake Lipitor and other prescription drugs.

If you think that ACORN is as dangerous as Diebold then you're probably nuts or a white guy

More proof that if it's all white, then it's all right. Where was the concern over voting in KC when half of the poll workers didn't know what was going on with the ballots. Now because a few aggressive Black women have decided to register votes in poor communities, things suddenly become "questionable" . . . It's a tough lesson kids but clearly white collar crime is the way to go.

Arrest made in the murder of Lawrence rapper

Police arrested a person of interest in the case. And that's a good thing since most people haven't ever been interested in Da Bomb Squad. Don't die for cRap music kids, you wouldn't make that kind of sacrifice for breakdancing . . . Or, to make a more apt comparison . . . Very few people die in the name of video games and other corporate sponsored entertainment.

64-year-old woman killed in Kansas City

Channel 9 reports that it happened on the 4900 block of Agnes Avenue and police are not saying how she died, only that they are investigating it as a homicide.

My brother cracks me up

I've come to the conclusion that nobody likes blogs. Recently, my brother wrote an awesome parody in which he makes fun of some MissoUri officials who aren't too excited about the trend . . . Which is puzzling since this state hosts one of the best J-Schools in the country and some people consider blogs to be on the cutting edge of the free press.

It may be sponsored content but 39th Street is so cool

Recently, the folks over at Present Magazine ran a great photo set featuring a lot of restaurants and businesses on West 39th Street. For the record, 39th street is the last place I like in Kansas City seeing as how, for the moment, it's still somewhat affordable to live near and you might actually see a minority going to one of these shops. Also, despite the posh restaurants and trendy shops the poserdom factor is at a low in this place . . . Which is nice but I'm sure will change as soon as good word gets around . . . This town need a crime wave in different places for a change. Okay, not really but it's nice to see a group of businesses work within a community rather than demolish it . . . Also, since the place is located in a neighborhood there have been few condos to creep in . . . Yet.

McCaskill uses cripple as crutch

Clearly, I have poor taste and nobody pays attention to me but I'd like to think there are some things I wouldn't do . . . But maybe if I really needed a crippled person who everyone loves to carry me in a close race I might be tempted. Desperate times and what not . . . Thing is, there's something about exploiting people who are desperately clinging on to false hope that's really cruel . . . That's why I stopped dating fat chicks.

Anyway, Michael J. Fox recently taped a commercial for Claire McCaskill that shows tremendous courage on his part and makes her look like a ghoul for using someone with medical problems for political gain. Dragging around her mom was just cheesy but this commercial is truly crass, cynical and calculating.

If there was a way I could vote for a cure for Michael J. Fox I would but Claire McCaskill doesn't have much to do with that and most likely any stem cell research benefits will come far too late for Fox no matter how much hope he's holding out. Personally, I think stem cell research is great but that's not what this ad is about . . . This ad isn't about science, it's about stringing people along and providing hope where none exists . . . It's about politics.

BABY BEATEN TO DEATH AND KC COP CHARGED

So, this horrible PR for the KCPD probably won't encourage folks to start snitching given that this local cop didn't want to hear any crying at all.

According to Clay County officials, Minet became angry and frustrated when the little girl wouldn't stop crying and threw her down, and then shook her for nearly a minute. Doctors also noted signs of other injuries. Kansas city police say the little girl died shortly before 3:00pm Sunday.

Where the white folks once roamed

I found this neat postcard posted on Flickr. A lot of things never change in this town, but some things are drastically different. This is what The Landing once looked like; nowadays the Eastside mall is pretty much empty and one of the places that "white people used to shop" to paraphrase Chris Rock.

Not so shocking

Graphic novels garner even more popularity and po'dunk Missouri towns find them objectionable.

Chastain rides yet another gravy train of publicity

If only this town's dead minorities garnered as much print coverage . . .

Trent who?

Don't count on cheering Chiefs fans to remember old guys on the sidelines. Sadly, the highlight of Trent Green's career seems to have been playing catch with President Bush.

"If murder was legal, who would you harm?"

Silly white kids were recently busted for a so-called "hit list" in Overland Park. Sad, thing is they simply needed to adjust their vocabulary and terminology just a little bit in order to make the note perfectly acceptable.

First of all, it's not called murder . . . You simply refer to dead people as casualties and you can openly dispute their number if anyone questions you. And as far as the legality of murder goes, the kids just needed to learn that once you change the name of people you plan on killing then you can not only murder them but also torture them as well . . . Especially if we're talking about brown people.

Dennis Moore doesn't want the deadbeat dad vote

Republicans in JoCo can't win against a guy who constantly trips over himself. Local blogger JustCara takes apart the latest ad from Dennis Moore and deflates the guy's image in a manner that only a white woman could carry out.

Soon to be Phill Free

Wichita Eagle endorses Paul Morrison

Democrats love Black people during a campaign

Local blogger Joe describes the tenuous relationship between African-Americans and the Democratic party. It's kind of like marriage when you consider that the courtship during the campaign is wonderful but then you get lazily screwed once it's a done deal.

F Bombs posts the open letter from Pat Tilman's brother

I agree it's a "must read."

"I'm considering running them down with my car"

Local author and blogger Mac jokes about promoting stem cell research the hard way. Plus, check out the succinct critique of Senator Talent.

Deep thoughts that didn't occur to me on the toilet

Just a few questions to start this week:

Why do I keep fucking around with my template? I don't know but I like the small change because I think it makes the headlines look more like a tabloid and that's hot. Do I care what you think? Probably not but I hope the people generally share my love of experimentation or else there's no way that I'm going to get my girlfriend to give up the anal.

Does jogging in jeans look stupid? I tired it yesterday because I was cold. It felt okay and I don't see myself putting in the extra effort to wear sweat pants. It probably looks a lot better than being a fat slob. Note: The only real reason to wear sweatpants is to go "commando" at a strip club. The strippers may not appreciate it but they will be surprised when the friction of a lap dance isn't all for show. Note: Does that count as safe sex?

Do you ever find yourself rooting against the Chiefs for no good reason at all? I think I do it because I'm never disappointed this way . . . When they lose I'm happy because I expected it and when they win I'm happy because they're the home team. It's not much of a risk but it's very much akin to marrying an Asian dude, he won't cheat and he ain't going anywhere and most likely . . . He's probably a good earner.

How does Chuck Norris do pushups? He doesn't . . . He pushes the Earth down.

Kay should clean up her act before she starts on the environment

Kansas City is going to develop a plan to reduce Global Warming. I guess it's part of a new initiative I hadn't heard about to think globally and act stupidly. I have no idea how a committee full of her Democratic Party lackeys are going to do anything but pose for photos and pretend to care since that's been her solution to every other challenge that this city has faced.

Anyway, here's some suggestions for the committee because I care about the environment too and I think our otherwise useless Mayor can play a part to help:

1. Take every promise Kay Barnes has ever made to KC neighborhoods, write them down on a piece of paper and blow them out of her ass. I'm a big believer in wind power; it's surprisingly popular and profitable and we all know our Mayor blows anyway.

2. Collect all the vegetable oil from Chuck Eddy's gastrointestinal tract and you may come up with a big enough deposit of biodiesel to power the Kansas City for a decade.

3. Let solar power to the work for us: When weather permits, hold City Council meetings outdoors. Not only is it harder for politicos to prostitute themselves for real estate developers during the light of day but also I've read that vampires are nocturnal so maybe Kay might have to skip the meetings all together.

Put simply, the best thing for the environment around Kansas City is to think of an efficient way to stop recycling the same old politicos who run for City Council and let Country Club Kay's reign quietly decompose like her dumbass rain garden idea.

You're not allowed to laugh at MU

Since so many college officials have nothing to do but play PC thug all day in their ivory tower it's no surprise to learn that a University of Missouri faculty organization is criticizing Board of Curators member David Wasinger for making "homophobic comments."

If you don't know the guy's "offense" yet, unlike highly underrated hip-hop/Dance Hall artist Shabba Ranks he didn't call for the crucifixion of homosexuals - Which really isn't that controversial in the rap world - He merely questioned the validity of Queer Theory.

Wasinger, a St. Louis lawyer, made a critical comment about teaching "queer theory" courses during the board's Academic and Student Affairs Committee meeting at UM-Kansas City earlier this month. Five days later, the UM-St. Louis Faculty Senate adopted a resolution at its regular meeting criticizing him.

Funny thing is, as a communications major, I studied queer theory - No homo - and I found that most academics think it's a joke as well. And here's something that most outsiders don't know . . . Queer Theory isn't some fringe perspective taught by flaky profs . . . It's the dominant theory in terms of cultural studies. So, what this guy was really doing was questioning the status quo even though the PR put out by the University suggests otherwise . . . But that always seems to be the case and it's also a joke to see that administrators know so little about what's going on in their classrooms because, in fact, Queer theory is influential in literary and film criticism and profs would be doing a disservice if they didn't teach it. I think I benefited from learning about queer theory and how to deconstruct texts using it as a reference . . . At the very least it taught me that Top Gun was completely the ghey.

Also, it's nice to see that officials at MU are so concerned about diversity when their enrollment numbers of poor, brown people are so laughably low.

It doesn't count as police brutality but it kind of does . . .

Apparently, that baby who got a serious beat down by a local police officer is in worse shape than originally reported. Some stations are reporting that there's a chance that the kid might not live and will most likely face some kind of permanent damage from the abuse.

Of course, people shouldn't use this case to make unfair generalizations about police officers because we know that police officers never to that to people. Right?

Town Topics: I wish it would rain

Homeless Couple Accused Of Robbing Help Center
- Sometimes karma can just sit things out.

More women step forward to accuse former JCCO President Carlsen
- Today's list of things to do: Become a Community College President. It sounds fun, right up until you get caught.

Schlagle High School named top marching band by VH-1
- People under 30 can just go ahead and call it "easy listening music."

Former Superintendent May Avoid Jail Time Because of Diversion Program
- Hope this teaches you a lesson kids, only get hooked on the legal drugs.

Eight-Year-Old Girl Hurt At American Royal
- It has something to do with a pole competition that seems completely inappropriate for a girl so young but I guess it's good practice and also nice to see that rodeo kids have a future as adult entertainers if their current vocation doesn't work out.

KC approves tax breaks in and near Crossroads
- From what I've heard, taxes are about the only thing the City has contributed to the Crossroads.

The Filling Station Restaurant and Lounge is voluntarily surrendering its 3 a.m. liquor license to KCMO
- Surrender? That's a good way to put it considering the place resembled a war zone at times.

KC man pleads guilty for role in slaying of musician

Suspicious package blown up in South KC
- I'm no expert but I thought most women would never blow a suspicious package. Eh, I'm sure the authorities had a lot of protection.

Missouri smokers peeved by proposed tobacco tax increase
- Strange, I think the effort to quintuple Missouri's cigarette tax should be referred to as the "Death Tax" and not the effort to protect the cash that rich kids didn't earn in the first place.

Getting some (mushroom) head in KC

I didn't know this, but Kansas City was nearly destroyed by a giant mushroom at the beginning of this month.

When (rich) white people work together there is nothing they can't accomplish!!!

Finally, there is justice for the man on the street thanks to the work of local cycling enthusiasts!!! The Missouri highway department is committing to build a $3.2 million bike/pedestrian lane by 2012 on the Heart of America Bridge.

Since most people working in these areas take the bus if they don't have a car . . . That means that this multi-million dollar project was undertaken specifically to benefit a couple of dozen white people with nice bikes who want to trek across the river for a bit of exercise. In other words, white people (and there is no argument that this group is completely comprised of white folks on expensive bikes) believe and have proven that their hobby should be funded to the tune of millions of dollars.

The term "white welfare" doesn't even begin to summarize the kind of privilege these pedal pushers have garnered. And at this point I even feel bad about referring to the folks as white because I'm sure there are plenty of working class white folks who would be disappointed to learn that highway money is being used to ensure that people on expensive bikes have a safe route on which to break a sweat. And to think there are still so many potholes in this town that have yet to be fixed.

Again, this kind of thing is just indicative of the gentrification that's being promoted by the local government in this town. A few people living in condos come with demands to turn downtown into Johnson County Jr. and everyone caves because these people are accustomed to getting their way. And yet again government officials have proven that the demands of a few people of the monied class mean so much more than the rest of the plebs who don't have the luxury of biking across the city for fun but would most likely rather have their highway money used for something that would benefit a greater majority of people on the road.

What will they cook up next?

In their work to ensure that only the good (read: taxable) drugs are in the hands of consumers Iowa State University scientists are helping in the fight against Meth. Apparently, chemists found that the popular anhydrous ammonia fertilizer often siphoned by meth cooks could be rendered virtually useless to them by adding a small amount of calcium nitrate into the mix.

Actually, making meth harder to get is a good thing. I also suggest declaring mullets illegal as a further deterrent to meth use since there is obviously a correlation there as well.

Bittersweet alleged battery

A Kansas City police officer was charged Friday with first-degree assault and abuse of a 2-year-old child after the kid, who was his girlfriend's daughter, was severely injured at a Clay County residence.

For the most part, I'm not a fan of child abuse unless it's in the appropriate places i.e. the grocery store, a theater or a restaurant but I do support police beating the shit out of people other than minorities.

2 years-old though, that's kind of young and unfortunately there's no way a jury would believe that the baby was holding a gun because kid's toys are so brightly colored nowadays. Also, whenever these kind of horrible child abuse stories appear in the media involving the darkies, there are always code words like "culture of violence" and the like thrown around by shrinks and sociologists . . . What does a similar analysis say about a member of law enforcement or law enforcement as a whole? People always love to make those kind of extrapolations about the racial/ethnic group they like the least so it's only fitting that the same "logic" works its way into professional life. I know I'm always looking for even more reasons to hate lawyers, dentists and those snooty ass convenience store clerks.

Anyway, it's a sad situation I know but I only wonder why the guy didn't simply use his Taser. If Tasers work for keeping grandma's in line then I'm sure they'd do the trick on babies as well.

Please read this post in order to prepare for the Winter in KC

Seriously, this post is probably the best thing that Mark Forsythe has ever written on his blog and its contents WILL have an impact on Kansas City in only a couple of short months.

I know that so many people don't follow city budgets and or care about infrastructure but this stuff will make a difference when you understand the following . . . Years of 18th and Vine mismanagement are the reason that you'll be stuck in the snow come this winter. Forsythe explains it more succinctly than I can:

Yesterday the City Council approved an emergency measure to settle with Rick Gill for $3 million. That amount pretty much wiped out our contingency funds for snow removal this season so you can thank the 18th & Vine Gang this January when you're hopelessly stuck in a snow drift.

It's not like I need one, but this is yet another reason why I hate jazz other than the fact that it sounds like cats having angry sex.

Blogger Backtalk: Weekend posts in Red and Blue

Why it is crucial for all Missourians to vote for Talent on November 7th
- You'll either laugh, cry or write an angry comment if you aren't a Republican and read this . . . Still, I was impressed that anyone could wholeheartedly endorse either one of the people involved in that race.

Roy Blunt Named One of 20 Most Corrupt Members of Congress
- Because it's true when you read it on a blog!!! Still it's nice to see the Democrats use enemies lists as well.

The KC Blue Blog
- You may want to check this local blog out, seems like the guy is VERY interested in the 48th District Race in the Missouri House.

"Your local neighborhood mobile phone company announced the other day that it has hired actor Ron Livingston to be it's new spokesdude."
- See, I think it would have been more appropriate if they would have just outsourced the acting job to an Indian dude.

Don't forget to have a good weekend.
- This local bloggers gives you plenty of links and ideas.

Phill Kline doesn't have any friends

Trailing Morrison by up to 20 points in some polls yet another former Kansas AG has come out against Phill Kline. That's not really news to me, mostly because I don't care . . . But what I do like is this smart passage by one of my favorite Kansas bloggers about media perceptions and Sunflower State politics:

This race is not going to be as close as the bi-coastal media and even some Kansas media types - which think that all Kansans are Bible-thumping wing-nuts - think it is. I've lived in Kansas for nearly my entire life, and I've known all my adult life that the political stereotypes about Kansas aren't true, and I've known that Kansas politics are as impossible to predict as Kansas weather.

I think I can safely predict this, though: Paul Morrison wins big in November.

I agree and I hope that it might be a referendum on privacy but I don't know for sure . . . The only thing I'm certain of is that the explanation provided by MSM pundits will probably be wrong.

Star Struck: Feels like starting over

Military verdicts cloud Cass County race
- Cass County can't get over Korea which should tell you how out of touch they are with the rest of the outside world.

New Hangars at Downtown Airport
- Other than the creepy ass people hanging around the place and ensuring that shy broads won't give car BJ's.

Other women accused Carlsen
- Even community college is better (i.e. sexier) in JoCo.

The morning crime rundown from The Star

Group defends ad against Morrison
- No need to invade Kline's privacy to know that he's running scared

THE WEEKEND AT THE ROYAL

Independence police win an award
- Obviously it wasn't for providing information about where to get a complaint form.

These bitches are nuts

MO blogger extraordinaire John Combest has been taking apart the ACORN/Prop B/McCaskill issue with a vengeance. Sadly, after all of the controversy it looks like these broads aren't even going to get paid . . . Which strangely mirrors a great deal of modern day Democrat social policy : A lot of rhetoric but very little payoff.

And yet, I know that so many people are hoping for the resurgence of the Democratic Party and the return of something similar to the Clinton days. But, from what I read, Bill never let a group of women work for him with out at least getting an opportunity to get a money shot.

The Chiefs are not da bomb

It's okay folks, the only destruction you'll see during upcoming Chiefs games is just gonna be Herman Edward's career going down in flames. The recent terrorist threats to Football Stadiums across the country was nothing more than a hoax.

Here's the proof if you need it but you should probably just trust that white God would never let something that horrible happen to his favorite people i.e. JoCo folk:

Chiefs: Fans Shouldn't Worry About NFL Threats

NFL terror threat: Just kidding!

There, so rest easy, the only people looking to kill the nice people of JoCo are mortgage lenders and credit card companies.

Gourmet Coffee Will Save Kansas City!

I did not want to believe it but every time I turn around it seems as if the only support for businesses in this town comes when you are hocking luxury items. I don't know what kind of self-esteem issues a person would have that would enable them to pay for ridiculous stuff like a 5 buck coffee but it seems as if support for these schemes is certainly en vogue among government officials. Here's the latest bit of evidence that pretty much says that you shouldn't live in KC if your life isn't about luxury items:

The Missouri Department of Economic Development has approved more than $115,000 in Enhanced Enterprise Zone tax credits for The Roasterie Inc.

The agency said in a release Thursday that it has reserved tax credits for the five-year benefit period for $115,387 based on the company's projection of 18 new jobs and new investment of $2.9 million.

Nice. I'm thinking about starting up a luxury business as well. For a fee of only 10 dollars along with proof of condo or loft living status you'll be able to go into my storefront and slap a homeless person who will be there waiting for you with maybe a few stories about KC's history as a convention destination or maybe the transformation this town underwent during the New Deal . . . It'll be something preachy and then you can just wail on them without feeling guilty about not leaving a tip. But I digress.

Strange that not even a ridonkulous deal for pricey coffee won't wake this town up and maybe signal that the plan to turn KC into a hipster destination for only the monied middle classes is a recipe for failure.

Just a few local links: The law of diminishing returns.

Boy Accused Of Bringing Stun Gun To School
- I'm not stunned at all really.

Lawrence store adds office supplies to its inventory of adult-oriented items in order to stay open
- Laws to protect prudish Kansans evolve so quickly, you think that would prove something.

Man Shot In Stomach
- I wouldn't dare make fun of a gut shot. That kind of thing hurts.

Royals Coaching Staff to Return in 2007
- If you don't fire them, how do you expect them to learn anything?

We All Fall Down

I agree with this local blogger, Fall is a beautiful time of year in Kansas City and Ward Parkway is just one of many places to admire the view.

Personally, I've always enjoyed this time of year because I think broads in sweaters are sexy. There is a bit of mystery in removing a bunch of warm clothing from a woman . . . Things could be a mess or a decent shape could be bundled up underneath. The anticipation is nearly as fun as not returning her phone calls.

Also, this is typically the time of year when women start putting on a little weight. That not only means they jiggle just a little more (nothing wrong with that) but also they're easier to deal with because self-esteem issues often shut them up before you have to . . . And while the murder rate seems to be ramping up during this season; Winter is quickly approaching and hopefully it will soon be too cold to worry about killing anybody but the family you're stuck with during the holidays.

Hip and Critical News

In the future, everyone is going to be their own news source and that's fine with me because it will provide yet another way to lie to ourselves. Actually, I'm a lot more enthusiastic about blogs, social networking, Internet publishing and micro content than I seem but I don't think it will change the world or the face of the media but it just might make videos of dancing little Indian people easier to find.

In that regard, I'd like to introduce a relatively new local web page "Hip and Critical News (Kansas City edition)." It's not exactly a news site or a blog but it made me laugh a couple a times and it's worth taking a look at . . . If only to support one of the 2 to 3 dozen people who don't get the paper just for the coupons or who only watch the news in order to get the lottery numbers.

Time to do the Carlton Dance

I know that you know the character from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air that I'm referring to and I know you know the dance as well. So, in that respect I'd just like to note that BILLY SUNDAY's PIRATE RADIO PODCAST is the best thing I've heard all week and I'm listening to it right now. You should to and, if you're not already, you should also read Dallas Penn who has written some amazing stuff lately.

So you don't have to bother recycling The Pitch . . . My contribution to the environment

Let's face it, unless you're in the market for phone sex or filthy nasty hookers then there is no reason to read the print edition of The Pitch. All of the info is available on their website which they've tried up dating daily at 4:20.

However, to save you even more time I've written these summaries so you don't have to go through all of the verbiage put forth by recent second tier J-School graduates.

Here's the damage:

"Urban Exploring" is just another name for white people with way too much time on their hands. You've probably read about this phenomenon in 1998 but this article reminds us that there are still hip, trendy white kids who are only a decade behind East Coast trends doing their own thing in KC. Also, PBR and gimmie hats make you look stylish and not like a tool at all.

Send Buck to the Hall of Fame because the Pitch loves Black people even though they don't hire any. Here's more proof.

Important updates on hipster clothing stores: "They'll blur the lines between "hip-hopper" and "punk skater" but somehow you'll still look like a douchebag if you wear to many clothes that feature prominently placed labels. Also, the link contains Baby Blunt Blacklash which I guess we can all agree on . . .

The current issue also features a nice little article about the people who work at local haunted houses just in case you didn't read the same story when you were in high school.

And apparently food tastes good, except when it doesn't. My favorite food critic joke: In the classified section the ad for a food critic job simply states . . .WANTED: Pig with adjectives.

Finally, the Asian Princess thing never gets old with me but I can't relate to anything about Nightlife in JoCo because they only allow a certain number of minorities at their clubs. Kind of like NV but with a whole suburban police department enforcing the policy.

The Sweeney Family Horror

Here's another fun example of the locals really getting into the spirit of Halloween. I had no idea about this KC traditon until I recently read a post abot it on Mark Forsythe's blog but apparently this is a really big deal for this family that puts a lot of work into the production. Here's a quick Q and A about the display and I'm surprised to find out that they even broadcast a mini-radio signal. Really cool stuff, check it out.

Al Qaeda doesn't think KC is a Major League City

All of the money for improvements for this town's stadiums in addition to more than a billion bucks in a slush fund doesn't really do much for the perception of our team, this town and its people. Sadly, (I guess) this town doesn't rank very high on a list that notes other cities and their football stadiums taking precautions because of a suspected terror threat recently. While the threat now seems to be fake . . . Sadly, this town is overlooked again as even the kind of people who would fly suicide missions in airplanes consider this part of the country nothing more than the flyover.

In related news, I thought that all of the hot air (from both ends) experienced while tailgaing in the midst of so many JoCo folks is not quite WMD but certainly it counts as some kind of chemical warfare or maybe torture.

Stop The Silence and Violence

Alonzo Washington's new ad campaign debuts today. Here's the image that's going to appear on one of the billboards. Look for news stories about the subject later on in the day but you saw it here first.

Kicking Glass

They're now starting to assemble the outer shell on The Sprint Center. The house of mirrors will soon be home to . . . Your guess is as good as mine

I would rather watch Ugly Betty than ugly politicians

The Talent McCaskill rerun is tonight.

I watched some of the debate and here are the highlights as far as I could tell:

- McCaskill Calls For Rumsfeld's Firing; Talent Does Not. Compromise: Continue letting Halliburtion and KBR run the war.

- McCaskill family has off shore funds. Which I guess is supposed to be more sleazy than all of Talent's corporate compadres.

- Talent went on the offensive. A sure sign of desperation. He made McCaskill look calm and reasoned with all of his impassioned attacks. Clearly a bad move and proof that his circle of advisors is too small and out of touch with anyone outside of his base.

- McCaskill will put a good portion of her money in a blind trust if she's elected. Clearly she won't need it if the corporate lobbists take care of her even half as good as they have done for Talent.

- All things considered. McCaskill won this won by a large margin and this is coming from someone who really doesn't like her. Her voodoo was in high gear this close to Halloween and I think that she'll probably wisk away with this election. Talent can blame Baby Blunt along, Bush and Bad strategy for his loss but he also might want to look in a mirror because you have to be pretty ugly to make McCaskill seem appealing.

Sacrilege in the City

I have no idea what kind of dirtbag would rob a church but it seriously takes some convictions about the nature of karma, Heaven/Hell and common human decency to pull something like that.

I vaguely know the guy who was robbed in this story and he seems like a decent enough person and totally doesn't deserve this kind of thing.

And I while I have my problems with the Church I've never thought of stealing from it. It seems like the stuff the church takes . . . Innocence, faith in humanity, trust and a clean conscience can't ever be taken back.

But I'm guessing that all these scumbags wanted is money and they have yet to figure out that telling people that God needs them to had over their cash is far more effective than resorting to crime.

Town Topics: Things are always getting tougher in this town

Kids Taught To Fight Back If Classroom Threat Arises
- So start swinging kids if anybody mentions that ID garbage.

East-Side Police Standoff Ends
- A modern day dumbass love story. The best part was when KMBC's Chris Nagus asked the girlfriend of the guy with a gun if she was going to stay with him. She had this dear in the headlights look . . . "Yeah, of course, he's a keeper.

Gas prices shot up as much as 19 cents a gallon overnight.
- So I guess you can go ahead and vote Democrat now.

Missouri To Host Statewide Bicycle Race In '07
- This state has got vineyards and now cycling, we're just like France only without all of that pesky culture.

Ronald and Rick Osborn spoke before Kansas City Council members about their Safe Streets program.

Let the Halloween Hijinks Begin!!!

I can't believe that so many people wondered why someone would vandalize a Historic Cemetery in St. Joseph. Clearly, the most likely excuse (other than the sheer boredom that must come with living in St. Joe) is that it's nearly Halloween.

During this time of year there are all kinds of weird things that the locals do in celebration of the holiday. Expect a bunch of creepy costume parties from the gheys, The Mexicans pay homage to their voodoo/religion/whatever with all of the Dia de Los Muertos activities and some time soon the pet stores are going to stop selling Black cats to goth kids.

So don't be surprised to see more vandalism and ghoulish stories that aren't completely related to politics. This time of year provides a better than average excuse for the people of KC to act freaky.

Blogger Backtalk: Only Heaven knows

"I'm glad that I didn't pay for the show because if I had I would feel even more ripped off"
- Aerosmith and review

I435, south from 63rd Street to Bannister Road
- There is a nice view of fall foliage along this route as long as you're speeding away from South Kansas City.

A great rundown of the Kansas House Races
- Like it or not, politics continue to evolve in the Sunflower State.

The Human subspecies
- I thought that's what we already called the British? (Free Northern Ireland) I have no idea why Limey scientists just won't let eugenics go but Mac has an interesting perspective on what this means in terms of our alien sightings.

Later on Links: Dog Day

Woo-hoo, it's votin' time
- Here's one of the best blogger posts I've read all day. It's a really good analysis of the upcoming election in Kansas with some endorsements and a lot of smart commentary.

Large Diamond Ring Stolen From OP Jeweler
- If you know anything about "blood diamonds" you wouldn't care at all about the guy getting robbed of something that was most likely ruthlessly stolen in the first place.

Judge Orders Woman Not to Get Pregnant While on Probation
- I know quite a few dudes who have ordered a woman not to get pregnant. It never really works out for them.

KCK Man To Be Tried on Manslaughter Charge in Pit Bull Attack
- I think what this town really needs is more Pit Bull coverage.

Police Release Surveillance Pictures from Inside Bar Before Deadly Shootout
- I didn't see Waldo either.

Puppy Alerts Sleeping Owner to Fire
- Puppies are clearly worried about North Korea taking over the world and are desperate to not only show their intelligence but also help Americans at all costs in order to avoid becoming food.

OR, since this is KCTV5 reporting the story, I'll have to assume that the puppy was trying to molest the guy.

KCK woman charged with fraud in homeless program
- Bonus points: Stealing from the homeless without having to touch them.

Always deny everything

If you're addicted to the local news like I am then you probably remember a story about Hickman Mills School Board president David Bass and allegations that he acted inappropriately with some young broads. He did great job during the TV interviews and looked all indignant and nearly convinced me. But now it turns out that he's resigning which basically just makes him look guilty.

A police report said that in July, Bass grabbed the buttocks of two victims and took a picture of one of the victims at her desk without her knowledge. He was charged with sexual misconduct.

In a statement regarding his resignation he came up with some nonsense about protecting his family and the education and the children and other boring stuff but none of that really matters if he was innocent then I'm sure all of those people would understand him fighting the thing. But maybe I'm being too optimistic but then again maybe he's overestimating how much people really care about anything going on at Hickman Mills. Anyway, I can't believe I'm writing this much about the subject so I'll simply end it by saying that "grabbed the buttocks" is my phrase of the day and I'll be repeating it all night long. Sessy!

Kris Kobach is a perennial loser

Here's the thing, no matter who you feel about the immigration issue, odds are you probably have very little respect for a sleazebag lawyer going from state to state filing frivolous lawsuits. Additionally, it's fun to make fun of other people's failures. Also, I wonder if Kobach will ever find his niche.

He's failed as a politico, he talks way too fast about boring stuff so the radio gig didn't exactly work out and this law thing of his has also proven to be a constant disappointment. Here's some info on his latest losing effort, it comes from an obviously biased source but the second you find some news outlet that doesn't have an agenda you let me know. I'm sure that day will probably be on the First of Octember:

The Martinez case was filed by Kris Kobach, an attorney for the Federation for American Immigration Reform (FAIR), on behalf of U.S. citizen residents of other states who alleged, among other claims, that the California provision discriminates against them and that it conflicts with federal law. The discrimination claims always bordered on frivolous, so the key finding of Friday's decision is that the California provision is fully consistent with federal law.

Also, don't get this case twisted. The immigrants that want tuition breaks simply want in-state tuition like all of the people they grew up with and in the end, when we're talking about Latinos going to college . . . There just aren't that many. Sad thing is, there have been a ton of studies done on this thing and immigrants who achieve a high school and or college education often end up benefiting the economy of this country and their state while giving back far more than they ever took. Over the last couple of years Kansas has yet to implode because of letting a few dozen kids who've lived here their whole life go to college and take advantage of the Dream Act. I can't understand anyone who would want to be the type of ghoul to keep someone out of college and negatively impact the economy in the long run. Finally, even if you're an ardent anti-immigration proponent you have to note that every loss this guy racks up is an important victory for the opposition and all of these lawsuits that fail are actually making things a lot easier on undocumented Latinos - Heaven forbid!!! But I digress.

Thankfully, Kobach has the Ivory Tower of UMKC to go back to . . . So they can lovingly support each and every one of his misguided attempts to make life harder on Latinos in this country while simultaneously insisting that they have no idea why their campus isn't more diverse.

Can't stop Chris Moreno

Chris Moreno's campaign is picking up steam in a big way. Above is an interview I did with him during the summer.

In his final push before the big day, he's getting a huge hand from this town's most powerful Democrats.

Cleaver, Jay Nixon and Mike Sanders are all turning out to his next fundraiser. And while I have my problems with all of these people, as far as local Dems are concerned this is a big move to "rally the base" - Not a sexual term.

Anyway, I hope Chris wins this one and I have a lot more faith in him than any of the big names who are showing up to lend him support.

Let's be honest, would you rather watch two politicos or Lost?

Here is my problem with Democrats, they are so deluded about their place in the world that they think politics is more important than prime time TV.

Fact is, nobody wants to watch the debate between Talent and McCaskill anyway whereas Lost and Dancing with the Stars have a HUGE following in this town. I can't see a reason to interrupt these awesome shows either.

As for not letting other stations broadcast the programming . . . That's just good business. Turns out Channel 9 is showing the debate on their website so the half a dozen local Dems who ARE THAT INTERESTED can easily move to playing World of Warcraft after the thing is over. Everybody wins when it comes to entertainment for people who don't have a life! As far as the debate, I'm pretty sure that's a lose/lose situation.

Lou Dobbs draws a little crowd

Little more than 300 folks turned out to see KMBZ's over priced event featuring Lou "Anti-Mexican means ratings!" Dobbs the biggest thing in broadcast media since Walter Winchell.

Frankly, I would have thought the guy would have been able to put together a bigger crowd considering that a decent mojado band can easily garner more than 500 short Mexican dudes wearing cowboy hats on a Saturday night.

I think the reason for the disappointing turnout is that Dobbs doesn't really have a clear ideology. He's all over the place and rants against Republicans and Democrats and somehow is trying to adopt a "working class" pose even though he spent most of the 80's and 90's giving backrubs to CEO's when he tired to cover business news.

Thing is, I think that most people can see his recent ranting as nothing more than a cynical attempt to get better ratings. For the most part it's working but in order for people to dish out serious money for a book and the pleasure of his company . . . He's got to be more entertaining than just another crotchety old white guy. I'm guessing that Prussian Blue would have had a much better crowd. I know I would have went.

A couple of big problems for Cauthen

I kind of feel sorry for City Manager Wayne Cauthen as he is desperately trying to carry his weight under the tremendous pressure of constant city mismanagement.

First and foremost, Kansas City's housing program obviously has issues. The Star reports that HUD officials listed three violations of federal housing regulations and seven "concerns" that might lead to a violation. According to The Star, "Cauthen said Tuesday that he thought the city would be able to correct those problems. Federal housing dollars shouldn't be lost if the city corrects its HUD issues."

However, rumor has it that these "concerns" are going to blow up over the next year and the City could be stuck with a huge bill in order to return cash to the feds given a number of missteps regarding the program's management.

Speaking of big money: There is yet another outdated and expensive program that Cauthen is trying to keep under control. Critics claim that in terms of a new deal to pick up this town's old folks "contract terms eliminate minority contractors and appear to surrender ATA's day-to-day control over Share-A-Fare's computerized call center." And I'm guessing that there is no easy fix to this problem other than the cruel prospect of letting old people drive themselves around and the subsequently watching their numbers decline as they would inevitably run themselves and people on bikes into oblivion. Life is give and take.