On the subject of the JoCo soccer complex

I thought the facts in this video were being overlooked in the debate. While we all like to pretend that these serious issues are of no importance, I think this blog is the perfect place to discuss them. Enjoy!!!

So I guess they're friends after all

Bush Coming to Missouri for Talent . . . Even though Talent has spent most of the campaign trying to disassociate himself from the Prez. My political advice: Turn it around on McCaskill and figure out a way to play that Turtles "Happy Together" song she remixed for her commercial. No use pretending at this point.

Women lie about everything . . .

Women guilty in health-care plan fraud AND I think PMS is just an excuse to give me a hard time.

"A guy from Kansas City dies and is sent to Hell . . ."

A joke from the KC Kitty made me laugh.

Is the Star using spyware?

I just link . . . Read for yourself.

Update: broken link fixed.

Preparation for The Birds

Here's another scary thought for you today, just because something isn't on featured on the TV news doesn't mean it won't kill you. In that respect, take a look at KC's very politic page regarding preparation for THE BIRD FLU. It looks like they're covered no matter which way it goes . . .

Personally, I think it would be funny to see Hitchcock's racist fantasy come true and Black birds insanely taking revenge and retribution on good looking white people . . .








But that's just a fantasy . . . In truth, most pandemics have a way of beating the hell out of poor, brown people.

Here's the local news report and yet another nightmare that we all pray remains in the Third World long before it makes its way to KC.

My vote for best bar story of the year

Death's Door provides amazing coverage of world's worst costume choice.

Hennessy : The Cognac of KC's Criminal Class

Forget whatever swill that Jay-Z is pushing.

KC criminals are brand loyal and a recent local liquor store break-in and theft of nearly $4,000 worth of goods proves that Hennessy is good stuff.

I know, I'm waiting for 50 cent to endorse a line of bullet proof vests as well.

There is no way to win at a local casino

Even if you beat the horrible odds, even if you avoid the many skanks at the place who may or may not have herpes, even if you resist the temptation to grab the cleavage of the cocktail waitresses and then get thrown out . . . Odds are you still won't make it home safely with any of the casino's cash because of the people in this town who are eager to take your winnings from you. Recently, a local man was shot in the head after a he told some broad that he took down a 10k pot from a local casino. And of course his neighbors didn't see anything. Clearly, this is yet another example of why almost every big gambler is a loser and why you shouldn't talk about money with women.

Believe it or not: Sexual assault in a Subaru

A woman was attacked recently at 38th and Main Street. However, I've drive by that place all the time and I thought the only reason people stopped was for drugs or hookers (I guess) . . . So, a lack of situational awareness is also scary. Also, the broad wasn't hurt.

Sign Stealing = Jaywalking

TV News stations need to stop covering it because it makes people think it's actually an important issue, even if the video is funny. Campaigns have plenty of money to replace the signs and in terms of vandalism it ranks right up there with dog poo in a bag on a front porch step.

"Do party spokespeople really believe the charges they levy against their opponents?"

Combest shares his ideas in a pretty thoughtful post. Also, Tony Snow is too tall.

No time like the Present

The November issue of Present Magazine is out right now. You don't have to go to newsstand and interrupt your important porn watching web surfing. Simply click the link in order to view the only magazine about Kansas City that doesn't make me want to punch someone. And while Present does skew toward hipsterism at least it doesn't blatantly encourage a class war like KC Magazine.

And I thought everybody in JoCo was moving halfway to Oklahoma

Sun Publications will move offices in OP in what can only be described as an attempt to casually avoid former owner Steve Rose without further incident.

Colgate with new curry flavor?

Was that to insensitive? I don't think so, I'd try it . . . Indian food is natural a laxative/appetite suppressant that is too often overlooked. Also, an Indian company will buy Colgate's KCK plant. And that's, like, all the fun of outsourcing with twice the racism; since so many Latinos work at that place.

Bad dog owners get more attention than dead black kids

For the love of Scooby-Doo I'm so sick of reading about news related to dogs: Dog breeder busted for illegal operation

If you support Shields then you deserve to have the shit beaten out of you

No one give her any money! And don't volunteer for her campaign. Seriously, this woman is like a stalker in KC's political scene. Ignore her and maybe she'll go away.

In praise of a blue truck

This post has to be one of the best things I've read regarding a mode of transportation in recent memory. If you want to know why public mass transit will never work in the Midwest, then remember that nobody ever felt this passionately about the bus.

Thanks for the mention Moses!!!

Some great thoughts from one of the finest long form bloggers in the city. Good stuff as always.

"I'm still not voting for that dickhole Talent."

Here is the only honest version of voter sentiment I've seen on the Internet as of late. Courtesy of FBombs.

Mexican Food in the Metro

A great round up of suggestions from Noodletown. Food so good that you'll get deported.

Goombah's at Bobby Barker's

Halloween came early for one of my favorite bloggers.

Rino Fundraising Update

Actually Morrison is Democrat but probably in name only as well. Still, he doubled Kline in terms of fundraising but not in horrible references to fetal tissue. Nice to know the GOP still can't be done in some areas.

The Official Cross-X Website

All of the info you ever wanted about Central High Debate without running the risk of being stabbed.

A trip on The Chiefs Express

A lukewarm review of KCATA Chiefs Express. And metaphorically speaking, the Chiefs Express won't take you to the playoffs and you might not want to sit next to Larry Johnson, unless you want to be smacked.

I've got as many bad ideas as the Bush Administration

He-he. Yeah, those del.icio.us links didn't save me that much time so I'm dumping them like a fat girlfriend.

Also, when you think of 101 U.S. Troops Dead in October, the consequences of me dicking around with my template are pretty small. Additionally, in a recent interview with Fox News, Cheney (Satan) blamed insurgents trying to influence mid-term elections for the spike in the troop death count. Which, if you take the converse of that stupid notion, then the terrorists are in league with the gheys and the scientists and Claire McCaskill . . . And that makes perfect sense.

So, stick around, I've got plenty of other bad ideas that I'd like to show you. Also, does robbing a convenience store count as trick or treating?

Tony On Dallas - NO HOMO!

The best things about blogging? Surprisingly, not the annony sex but the great people that you "meet" through the Internets. I've never seen Dallas Penn face to face but I'm a great fan of his work. He's one of the best writers on the Internet and I'm humbled that Dallas has let me write a few posts on his blog. Honestly, I didn't write much today but I feel like it's one of my the best blogging days I've ever had.

God Bless the Google Toolbar

Yeah, I was pretty much just looking for something to make my blogging easier and this might do it. However, now Google will know every page I'm reading. So expect your traffic and ad rates to go up if you're running a page regarding MILFs. However, if you like the links on the sidebar, let me know. If you've followed this page for long. You know I can never make up my mind about this kind of thing.

Katheryn the Corrupt

She just might be the worst politician in town and she's probably running for Mayor. This should not be a surprise and it's not news but isn't it like some Jedi proverb that you get what you deserve i.e. vote for?

Murdering Mommy Dearest

While I'll admit that the subject is always on my mind, I can't help but noticing that there have been a couple of prominent "Mommy Murder" stories in the news as of late. Is it a trend or are people in this town a bunch of Stewie Griffin wannabes?

Recently, a 37 year-old was charged with murder for beating his mother to death with a hammer and even more recently a fight between neighbors led to gunfire that left a mother dead and Kansas City police looking for suspects.

To a more crass person, this kind of thing might qualify as the ultimate "your mama joke" but I tend to take violence in the media much more seriously. The fact that even a mommy can be murdered should clearly demonstrate that no one is safe from violence in this town . . . Which is as good of a reason as any to move to JoCo, I guess. Still, I don't want to go into the Freudian/oedipal complex background of the whole thing but I should note that only societies in steep decline start taking out their rage on mommies . . . Or, the fact that someone is murdered who happens to be a mother might simply make a good headline and a nice change of pace from merely noting the fact that local homicide victims are almost always minorities.

I'm gonna start calling it "the Slay"

Via Ray. "St. Louis tops the list of the nations most dangerous cities."

Only Beer Inspires Me

One quick thing, I was watching TV and those "Man Law" commercials are pretty funny considering that they are promoting the world's worst beer this side of any thing with pumpkin in it.

Anyway, I was thinking that the concept is great but the execution is limp and cleaned up for football viewing audiences . . . Ever since Janet showed her tittie everything has been boring and safe when it comes to "entertainment" geared toward pro sports watching audiences.

Well, because the concept is so great and because this town is the "worst for singles" in the nation . . . I think KC deserves it's own version of man law that depicts dating and married life in Kansas City. Here goes:

KC Man Law:

*Do not hit a woman . . . With a closed hand.

*No calling women more than once a day. She should be able to provide her whereabouts and meal schedule with a single phone call.

*Crying is permissible. Explaining why is not.

*No phone conversations over 3 minutes. Period.

*Dinner is foreplay.

*Mmmm counts as thank you.

*Any contact from ex-girlfriends means they are unhappy and probably want to have sex with you.

*The only family functions you are required to attend are your own.

*If she didn't ask for something and then didn't get it, she doesn't have a right to complain.

*Childcare doesn't count as a day job.

*You don't have to respect everyone in the armed services. Word to Abu Ghraib.

*Girlfriends must not operate the TV remote control in your presence, not even in their own home.

*Asking to see her sister's ass is not flirting.

*A date rape charge is a sign that you're ugly.

*Female cops don't count. Same goes for firefighters, journalists, doctors (except gyno) and chefs.

*Feel free to throw away any clothes purchased for you by a woman. Including your mom.

*Imported liquor, suits and cars are fine. Imported cheese is not.

*Sushi smells like vagina, you still shouldn't eat it.

*If your group of closest friends is integrated, that means you don't have any.

*Trying hard not to laugh at racist jokes is worse.

*You should know stocks better than sports. Grow up.

*Never trust another man who doesn't love their mother. Unless she's Anna Nicole Smith or some facsimile thereof.

*Sneakers match everything.

*You don't need to take a shower every day. The French have this one right. Baths are out of the question . . . Even with a broad.

*A toupee is fine. A merkin is not.

*Sex toys are permissible but are expressly forbidden to go anywhere near your orifices.

*It's not a lie if she didn't believe it in the first place.

*The term "Interracial dating" only applies to women. Men only need to refer to it as variety.

*Women who have a lot in common with the broads on Sex in the City are called whores in KC.

*Never let a woman from Kansas City lecture you on anything relate to class or culture.

*Adult relationships begin with understanding that you're not her first choice and making her believe that she is yours.

*There are other things to do in Kansas City besides getting married and raising kids. Men often need to remind twenty and thirty something bitches women of this . . . The list goes on . . . .

Heh, I don't think so . . .

Nah, I'm gonna change this when I wake up . . . Some time in the late afternoon. It was a good idea but far too much effort. I'll just have to learn to only link things I'm mildly interested in and Blogger is acting very bitchy right now . . . Also, my headline if the Chiefs would have lost the game they nearly gave away: Jared Allen . . . Drunken Fool.

More Changes Chump

Yes, foo. I'm trying something else because not everything is worth an ass long post but I'm not Kottke and I don't have the skillz to work my del.icio.us links into my main page. Not that I would want to . . . I figure this way (for the moment) gives me what I want. Lots of links and enough space to rant about what I'm interested in . . . This page will keep on changing while the reasons you beat, cheat on or hate your spouse won't.

Talking Trash

Old and busted: Paying attention to what you're doing. New Hotness: Being too busy to get off the damn phone while robbing a bank.

Cell phones while driving? Fine, be a jerk and don't cry when you back over a little kid. A cell phone conversation during dinner? I'd rather not talk anyway and ignoring your conversation is just as good as pretending to listen to you. And as far as young women imitating Paris Hilton and talking on the cell phone during sex . . . Great, whatever you have to do to find a happy place. But dammit there is a line.

While taking someone's money, they deserve your full attention. Some things are just too rude to ignore. It's just wrong to be preoccupied while stealing from someone. You didn't see Dillinger carrying on like some school girl when he was taking care of business. Nope, this is just bad form and even more proof that Americans have become arrogant while stealing. Remember, this country was founded by people ripping up treaties with BOTH HANDS.

Amateur Weekend

Have a good weekend folks. But be careful when you have fun out there because it's not only amateur night, it's amateur weekend if the Chiefs go ahead and start the 3rd string quarterback who has completed nearly as many interceptions as passes.

And speaking of amateur, I recently ran across a modeling page featuring a supposedly local woman who calls herself Amy Leigh, I guess you should be able to tell that she's from the Midwest because of the wheat in the background but I swear I looked at this photo for 3 minutes and 14 seconds and didn't even notice there was a background.

Finally, coming home last night I noticed at least 2 DUI checkpoints. So, you may want to lay off the sauce for a change or at least pack some condoms in order to stay the night at a stranger's house. Anyway, have a good weekend, stay safe and have fun.

Peace.

Taxing travelers right out of KC

Nice post that is pretty unbelievable as far as taxes in this town go. I guess you have to remember that some of those fees pay for the Sprint Center, which has only one tenant for less than two weeks. So there's the payoff . . . I guess.

Sad thing about Smith

You may want to check out a new movie premiering this ONLY THIS WEEKEND down at Screenland.

It's called "Can Mr. Smith Get to Washington Anymore?"

Apparently, the documentary has received some pretty decent press.

While I might see the documentary, I already know the answer. YES, Smith can get to Washington. It just depends which Smith you're talking about . . .

Dog Killing Kids in Court

Here's the thing, they're rich kids from Overland Park who have parents that can afford a decent lawyer to plea the thing down. Despite letters from PETA and a bit of dramatic TV coverage, they'll probably beat the case . . . Animal cruelty is yet another instance in which only poor people have the book thrown at them.

Kline had second thoughts about creepy commercials

The guy has issues and can't make up his mind. Fortunately, his poll numbers are more decidedly clearer . . . They keep trending downward.

Pretty in Pink

Nice to see that cowboys aren't afraid to go brokeback for breast cancer: For each audience member donning pink, the American Royal donated $1. For each rodeo contestant, a $10 donation was made to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation of Kansas City.

Local Revs say salvation lies in science

Wow! Stem Cells cure diseases and line pockets! I was in favor before but this is just amazing!

Some team in St. Louis won something

I'm really surprised that Aljazeera is reporting this as well but damn if those Midwestern infidels don't play damn fine baseball.

The public is so dirty, politicians don't want to touch them

Awesome hand sanitizer story highlighted by Drudge that should put most politico glad handing in perspective.

It starts with the Mexicans and ends with you

An admittedly lefty link, still some pretty frightening stuff if Bush uses his newfound power to declare martial law: The law also facilitates militarized police round-ups and detention of protesters, so called "illegal aliens," "potential terrorists" and other "undesirables" for detention in facilities already contracted for and under construction by Halliburton. That's right. Under the cover of a trumped-up "immigration emergency" and the frenzied militarization of the southern border, detention camps are being constructed right under our noses, camps designed for anyone who resists the foreign and domestic agenda of the Bush administration.

The Argument Machine is no more

I have no idea why someone would spend all day chatting on a message board, seems like that's even worse than Daytime TV but people do and the Argument Machine seemed to have a pretty decent following. The Pitch is threatening to start a local music message board if it doesn't devolve into personal bickering but I thought that was pretty much the point of message boards in the first place.

KC Development: IT'S ALL NOTHING BUT ABATEMENT

The KC Biz Journal reports that a $6 million renovation of Rivergate Business Center will begin in November after the Kansas City Council on Thursday boosted the downtown Kansas City building's property tax abatement. Now, promoting business in this town is fine but, as of late, virtually everyone who moves here is standing in line for an abatement. The fire sale needs to stop, this town is not so horrible that we need to offer everyone incentives. It's well past time that this city needs to do something in order to decrease it's debt load rather than making sure all the right business people have their discount. Kay's tenure has seen nothing but corporate welfare and very little pay off.

And one day, I might just have enough money to care about fine dining in KC

Probably not and nothing tastes better than General Tso's anyway. Anyway, Starkers Sells. The Biz Journal reports: "The founder and owner of Starker's Reserve on the Country Club Plaza has sold the upscale restaurant to his executive chef for an undisclosed amount."

Really, don't trust real estate developers

Man Gets More Than 12 Years in Prison for Mortgage Fraud Scheme

URDANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHITE WOMEN ARE DANGEROUS!!!

Don't you ever forget it, punk. (Also, the Northland is popping . . . Presently)

I thought a billion dollars would buy a lot better than 3rd string

The Chiefs might be sending in Brodie Croyle? Seriously? KC gets 3rd string after all the money this town sent their way?????? Unfair and nothing more than a plan to lose a crucial midseason game. Yet another horrible move by Herm Edwards. Brodie, really?

Cheney can't speak anywhere but a military base

Cheney Rallies Troops At Whiteman AFB because he would be booed off the stage anywhere else. Thing is, I don't necessarily think Bush is that bad but even the most diehard Republican will almost concede that Cheney is the embodiment of every negative thing you've ever heard about the Military Industrial Complex. Think about it, the Bush administration without him and Rumsfeld almost seems quaint and there's no way to argue that the War in Iraq would have went any worse without these two.

Does anybody notice the Northland is getting rougher?

2 Robbers Hit Northland Bank

Beta Fish

Here's just a quick thought that nobody but bloggers on Blogger will care about BUT . . . I'm not switching to Beta until they come up with a function that can TIME the output of the posts.

The label, tag function is nice but, really, who cares? The point and click template feature is nice but so few people need it that it's pretty much worthless. Really mom's can either figure the HTML out on their own or meet an Internet predator in order to do it. AND, the feature enabling you to control who reads your blogs is for people who need to get a diary instead.

Put simply, THE ONLY FUNCTION I WANT out of blogger is the ability to write something and then have it publish to the web while I'm sleeping or out watching porn. Not only would that make this page more useful it would allow me the kind of leisure time I need in order to read all of the magazines for free at Barnes & Noble. All of these other "features" seems like they can be done with only a few simple hacks anyway.

"What it means to be a Barbarian Christian"

I like this local's take on the subject just about as much as I hate volunteer work. Eh, it's not like I mind the masses as much as I mind the smell. Still, a good read.