Scout System Signals Drive Time

Messages on the Scout system, which I've never used or paid attention to, are soon to be a little more informative and provide travel times to key destinations i.e. away from the local minorities.

In fact, the messages are going to be so good that you might actually take notice for a change. Here are some examples of the messages you might see on your way home:

*Delay ahead: Traffic ahead is moving so slow that your wife's lover will have time to give her a massage.

*15 minute back up on I-35 South, you'll have to pay your Mexican maid 35 cents extra. Lo siento.

*Roads all clear, so you can quickly get back home to your empty life.

*Traffic accident ahead in 1.3 miles. Cell phone call gave broker bad news about real estate bubble.

And the top message delivered by the new Scout System: More than a half an hour to get to the Northland? Get the fuck out of town!