Saturday, November 29, 2008

The TKC Saturday Night Playlist!!! Holiday Depression and a very Hard Candy X-mas in Kansas City!!!



The TKC Saturday Night Playlist!!! Holiday Depression and a very Hard Candy X-mas in Kansas City!!!

During harsh economic times there are always a great many people who claim to know what they're talking about when it comes to matters related to high finance.

However, the fact I find interesting is that pundits are no longer debating whether or not the U.S. Economy is in recession . . . Instead, a great deal of political chatter relates to comparisons of the current financial climate to the Great Depression.

Here's some of the most insightful political writing I've seen on the subject recently:

Helen Thomas: "It's a depression" (I think she might know since she was in her 40's during the Great Depression)

WSJ: The Krugman Recipe for Depression . . . Massive government spending is no solution to unemployment.

George F. Will: "Same Old New Deal?"

The thing of it is, political debate regarding economic turmoil is pretty much useless. In the grand scheme of things media people don't have much money and their insights (as always) have more to do with pushing an agenda. Important numbers, data and indicators are always overlooked in favor of meaningless world views and principles that never hold up under scrutiny.

Of course, I'm broke and the economic outlook of this nation doesn't really matter to a dude living in a basement. But what I do notice is that middle-class white people are scared. Also, from what I see . . . Downtown's Renaissance never really happened despite massive taxpayer funded spending; condo dwellers are calling it quits daily, layoffs are now commonplace and bar & restaurant closings are regularly appearing in local headlines.

Of course news anchors still have to smile so some of this information gets overlooked by timid souls who may not want to see the similarities between current U.S. economic troubles and the "Lost Decade" Japan endured not long ago.

I guess it's much easier just to keep on lying to people, hope for a quick recovery and celebrate upswings in a volatile market like a hyperactive puppy.

Meanwhile . . . People make due and struggle to get ahead in much the same way that people have always done since the beginning of time.



I've always contended that harsh economic times make women a little bit more "accessible" and much more likely to chase some endeavor that involves being ho whether that's advertising or actually working the pole at a strip club.



Then again, it's important to remember that the (real) monied class (not middle) rarely sees any direct impact of economic turmoil and there are actually quite a few bargains to be had in terms of people, places and things going for cheaper prices.

Sadly, politicos are probably the worst off when a real recession rolls in . . . Blaming a predecessor only works for so long until the public realizes that nearly all elected officials are powerless beyond their ability to self-promote. During long term harsh times new candidates with a better sales pitch are regularly voted in and then subsequently replaced in a seemingly endless cycle of the electorate looking to blame their horrible lives on somebody else . . . And somehow, I think this phenomenon is exceedingly appropriate and somewhat exacerbated by the Holiday Season and new year.

To wit, all of this money talk has inspired me to link some free music on the subject of financial crisis, holiday depression and hard luck. Enjoy:

  • Blue Christmas - Elvis Presley
  • Hard Candy Christmas - Dolly Parton
  • Paid In Full - Eric B. and Rakim
  • Money (that's what I want) - Beatles
  • Electric Avenue - Eddy Grant
  • Po'Folks - Nappy Roots
  • The World is a Ghetto - War
  • Material Girl - Madonna
  • Please come home for Christmas - The Eagles
  • Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home) - Darlene Love



    Still, it's not as gloomy as it seems . . . Unless we're talking just about the financial news. Then it really does suck but there's not much any single d-bag on the Internets can do about it.

    So, as always, thank you for reading and have a safe and fun weekend.
  • "Evil Won"

    Nick Sloan just posted a nice reaction to the somewhat surprising conclusion of this year's "Border War" that's still much nicer and more entertaining than other ethnic and political conflicts sharing the same name.

    New blog: Boner in Sweatpants!!!

    Not what you think!!! I totally thought this blog was spam when it turned up in my e-mail inbox (NO HOMO!!!) However, it's simply the work of a local personal fitness trainer, and it's pretty entertaining. Check it out.

    Kansas City Blogger Guest Worker Program



    Local blog May's Machete has been posting a FANTASTIC SERIES REGARDING RACISM ON HER BLOG and she recently asked me to participate.

    Here's my take on Kansas City racism toward Latinos.

    The post was not only fun to write but also a bit of a learning experience i.e. I feel justified in being EVEN MORE RESENTFUL TOWARD WHITE PEOPLE who aren't busty bikini models.

    A special thanks to May for giving me the opportunity to take my pro-mojado stance to yet another venue!!!

    Kansas City Drive-by of the day

    NBC Action News: "A Kansas City man was in the hospital Saturday morning after being shot in his side during a drive-by. Police say the gunman took off, and remains on the loose."

    Suburban bank robbed with something besides a pen, smile and a suit

    KCTV5 posts surveillance images of a masked man suspected of robbing a Lee's Summit, Mo., bank.

    TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! MAYOR FUNKY BOOED AT X-MAS TREE LIGHTING CEREMONY!!!



    C'mon TV Newsies!!!

    I know that the Mayor's X-mas Tree Fund is a wonderful cause . . . But "holiday cheer" B.S. and a misguided sense of charity shouldn't stop reporters from documenting facts related to the public appearance of an elected official.

    TKC ATTENDED THE MAYOR'S X-MAS TREE LIGHTING AND QUITE A FEW PEOPLE BOOED THE MAYOR AS HE WAS INTRODUCED!!!

    It's on tape, newsies from around the metro area must have recorded the sound but they obviously refused to cover this angle of the story and are keeping the public misinformed while playing gatekeeper.

    However, in the reporting there's a hint that the crowd was almost half of what it was last year when it was much colder. Media spin wants to blame the failure of the X-mas tree on former Mayor Barnes . . . Nevertheless, it's a fact that at least four volunteers that I'm aware of quit their involvement with the Mayor's X-mas tree Fund last year because of Gloria Squitiro's meddling.

    It doesn't matter what media watchers believe . . . I was simply surprised that I wasn't the only person in the crowd booing and the silly argument that Mayor Funky is besieged by nothing but admirers whenever he appears in public was put to rest last night. A great many in the crowd obviously weren't supporting the Mayor that's suing the city and focusing on his wife's feet while this town struggles through a budget crisis.

    On the streets of Kansas City, it was abundantly clear to me that Mayor Funky's popular support is tenuous at best and people in Kansas City are quickly overcoming their stereotypical Midwestern politeness in order to express their displeasure with our Co-Mayor.

    KANSAS CITY GIRL SCOUT CUTBACKS!!!

    Truly, times are tough when even local Girl Scouts are forced to make massive cutbacks to the programs they provide. A recent story from Time.com is even more depressing because it involves taking ponies away from the Girl Scouts along with news that November National Cookie Month was kind of a bust. It could be time for a Girl Scout bailout . . . Which I wouldn't be opposed to altogether not only because they deserve it more than loan shark banks gambling on risky mortgages but also I think there might be some delicious thin mints in it for everybody.

    KC Tribune takes on the KCPD

    A brilliant article by local community reporting great Tom Bogdon laments accurate stat reporting this year by the KCPD. Money line: "Kansas City, Kan., was ranked as No. 42. But Kansas City, Missouri wasn't ranked at all due to missing data. In other words, Kansas City failed to report."

    Odds are: Chiefs victory won't change much

    The online bookies are favoring the Chiefs for some silly reason . . . I'm not so confident about naive commentary regarding the team's improvement which has yet to result in a victory. Still, the team does have a knack over the years for removing themselves from a decent draft position.

    Update: Strangely, I notice that betting websites sometimes offer far more balanced coverage than hometown media.

    Don't dare think that the global economic crisis hasn't spread to Kansas City!!!



    I don't know why but local media love to portray this cowtown as some kind of island of prosperity.

    Nothing could be further from reality.

    Local TV news keeps reporting lame job fairs but the fact remains that competition for any kind of decent employment (unrelated to porn) is at an all time high. A quick article from the KC biz journal clearly demonstrates local job seeking despair:
    "We have white-collar and blue-collar workers in the system," said Clyde McQueen, director of the Full Employment Council. "I’ve been through about four of these down trends in the past, and it was always more isolated into one sector or another. This one is hitting everywhere."

    Bob Marcusse, CEO of the Kansas City Area Development Council, said the organization is watching unemployment numbers closely.

    "Kansas City is certainly not immune to what is happening nationally and internationally,"
    So while lazy media is desperately trying sell the notion that we've hit bottom . . . It's good to see that there are experts in town who can clearly analyze cold, hard employment data and dispel overly optimistic reporting . . . Like the misguided notion that the U.S. has won in Iraq.

    "Killer white dude on the loose"

    RDM provides an excellent profile of a suspected killer of a lady in a Shawnee Apartment.

    CLAY COUNTY CUTBACK CRISIS!!!

    Things are rough all over as local governments around the metro area find striking similarities in shared financial peril. The Star reports: "The impact of the continued economic downturn, coupled with sluggish sales tax revenue, will have a significant effect on the Clay County operating budget proposed for 2009, county officials said this week."

    I, Shane and Australia

    A Kansas City blogger provides a comprehensive review of a movie that I'm casually dismissing as a chick flick.

    Kansas City Weekend Links Out Loud



    Here's what I'm reading today regarding conflicts both real and imagined:

  • Hey, d-bags . . . Help Harvesters while hurting your liver today at the border war.

  • Present Magazine takes a peek at "Dialog in the Dark."

  • This nation can no longer afford to fund second rate schools, teams, students and lame mascots: Less money is now available to Kansas State students.

  • Big media teaches that tragedy doesn't matter until it strikes close to home: Kansas Citians knew slain couple at Jewish center in India

  • Or maybe local insight is exactly what's needed: Indian Americans in KC Struggle with Events in Mumbai

  • Harsh times means that we can all learn next to stinky homeless people: Local Libraries Flourish In Weak Economy

  • Sports Newsie Nick Sloan makes an interesting prediction.

  • Golden Ghetto Works Smarter: Work already getting under way on Johnson County Education Research Triangle

  • The Star prints a big pipe dream about Blue River being cleaner.

  • Photo galleries get no better than images of a busty blonde woman and a boom box!!!
  • College Radio Newsie Profiles

    A couple of KCUR interns are profiled in an interesting line-up of aspiring radio newsies who either have rich parents or have been woefully uneducated about the current job market in this field (like most j-school students).

    Here's what the Westside looks like to white people: Unique with no zoning enforcement for ugly houses

    A blog entitled "Pictures of Buildings and People" provides some interesting photos of where the White people live on the Westside. Cool houses but without mention that they're only a 2 minute walk away from projects and scary brown people like myself . . . I guess gentrification is in the eye of the beholder. Still the photos are nice and I guess yuppies living anywhere in the urban core is cause for celebration even if these same folks currently walk around frustrated because they can't flip their overpriced property.

    Kansas City Star keeps readers in the dark about Black Friday and the economy



    Everybody loves good news.

    Good news is great for business. It's also good for ad sales.

    It doesn't have to be correct, it just has to be snappy and full of convincing photos.

    Today, The Kansas City Star is trying to convince people that Black Friday went well with almost no hard numbers and a few photos obviously employing wide angles and a great deal of photoshopping (No great sin considering that all newspapers doctor photos as well).

    Here is the company line: "Black Friday shoppers turn out early to hunt down bargains"

    Luckily, there's a bit of truth in that headline given that the afternoon saw a great many Kansas City stores turn into an empty wasteland.

    Sadly, only KCTV 5 had the courage to part from consumer propaganda and actually talk to people shopping:

    "Crowds Die Down At Stores By Lunchtime"

    Once again, The Star and so many other media outlets dropped their objectivity in order to push an agenda.

  • Remember that the d-bags at The Star's business section missed the clear warning signs of the greatest economic crisis since the great depression and predicted "resiliency" at the beginning of this year . . . And for that, I don't really feel sorry for the business reporters who were fired.

  • The Star trumpeted the opening of The Sprint Center right across the street and waited months before mentioning the lack of an anchor tenant or the surrounding property crime during events or even acknowledging Kansas City's heavy tax burden.

  • The Star went along with fantasy Obama crowd numbers without even making an attempt to note that estimates were unverified.

  • The Star lauded the opening of the P&L District but only Abouhalkah notes the financial fiasco while the biz section has so-far only given passing coverage to the death toll of surrounding bars and restaurants the place has caused. In fact, most media outlets stupidly expected the District to spark economic development when the real world impact has been just the opposite.

  • Today, The Star is also reporting "historic" point gains in the stock market while ignoring the difference in percentages and the fact that a recent rally is mostly inspired by massive government intervention and is probably one of many "bear traps" which are part of any economy in decline.

  • So feel free to believe the fake economic news published by the so-called "Paper of Record" despite their long history of embarrassing mistakes. On the other hand, people lucky enough to still have a bit of cash might want to second guess media folks who are pushing an agenda and supporting their fellow neighbors getting tax breaks rather than reporting any kind of objective facts related to the local economy.

    Friday, November 28, 2008

    Kansas City School Board Members congratulate themselves!!!



    I almost couldn't believe it when the link came my way . . . It defies all logic and merits some kind of real explanation beyond the silly text contained in the post.

    Check it:
    As We See It: KC School District moving in the right direction

    By Marilyn Simmons and Arthur Benson
    Metro parents with students in the district might have to laugh so they don't cry.

    Read the nonsense yourself because it really isn't worth quoting.

    THE SCHOOL BOARD MEMBERS CLAIM THAT MEANINGLESS "PRINCIPLES" AND BETTER UNDERSTANDING MARK THE PROGRESS OF KC SCHOOLS WITHOUT CITING ONE BIT OF DATA REGARDING THEIR SO-CALLED ACHIEVEMENT!!!

    Here are just a few facts regarding the district:

  • Teachers in the Kansas City School District are STILL without a contract. The School District has failed to negotiate in good faith and increasingly alienates the Teacher's Union.

  • Ever year more families abandon the District every year given continually decreasing enrollment stats and the KCMSD is widely known as a major weak point when selling Kansas City.

  • Word around the campfire is that KC Schools have become increasingly violent and instances of assaults and theft seem more commonplace according to a few local teachers who claim there is an overall atmosphere of chaos in the vicinity of the last, few remaining big schools in KC Proper.

  • Upcoming plans to sell KCMSD buildings are most likely going to be contentious and filled with accusations of corruption . . . It's not going to be pretty and this scandal could claim a few political careers.

  • A great many people in Kansas City are hoping, praying, wishing for a State Takeover of the School District so this long-term local failure can finally come to an end.

    The press release printed by The Star might be one of the craziest things related to local schools I've ever read and does not demonstrate any kind of progress but rather the grand delusion of a couple of School Board Members.
  • Getting a hold of KC evening links

    Old school Kansas City concerts earn praise

    NBC Action news claims that Kansas City is becoming a concert powerhouse of sorts and it edging out St. Louis in terms of ticket sales between the Sprint Center and the Pollstar center . . . 207,203 vs 187,791 respectively. Still, STL makes better use of its smaller venues, has more up and coming acts and completely "pwnz" this town when it comes to outdoor festivals. On the bright side, Kansas City is much better at bringing in the higher grossing old school acts of the 80's . . . So KC gets more cash but remains less relevant - Which isn't a horrible trade off.

    The Call covers Mayor Funky's actions regarding Council Member Circo and questions his judgment

    A great article from Eric Wesson . . . Some tough questions about Mayor Funky's judgment. I like the title: "Saying One Thing And Doing Another"

    TKC BREAKING NEWS!!! PETA PROTEST WILL TP JACK STACK!!!



    On Monday, Plaza patrons will notice a bit of toilet humor from local PETA peeps. And while I think ruining somebody's expensive Plaza meal is a poopy thing to do . . . I'm proud to be the first super-important-and-awesome media outlet to release this "news."

    Also, I have to admit it's kind of clever:

    Here are the details from their press release:

    PETA TO TP LOCAL STEAKHOUSE

    Leaflets Printed on Toilet Paper Give Meat-Eaters Food for Thought . . .

    Lunchtime diners at Jack Stack on Monday will receive some surprising "food for thought" from PETA. The group—led by a protester in a cow costume—will hand out sheets of toilet paper bearing the message, "Slaughterhouses are so filthy that feces are found on almost every piece of meat—wipe cruelty from your diet."

    PETA's point? That the E. coli and other bacteria abundant in the meat that people eat are derived from feces in filthy slaughterhouses. Because of this, Men's Health named beef, chicken, and turkey among its "10 Foods You Should Never Eat." Tens of millions of pounds of beef were recalled because of E. coli contamination in 2007 alone, and 70 percent of foodborne illnesses are directly linked to meat consumption.

    Says PETA Vice President Dan Mathews, "Chances are good that unless you choose vegetarian, you're eating the 'poo poo platter.'"

    The toilet paper protest will take place at Jack Stack Steakhouse, 101 W. 22nd St., Kansas City . . . Monday, December 1, 12 noon.

    Asian dude yelling at Starbucks customers was the star of the Plaza lighting ceremony!



    Let's start off with a little reality first . . .

    Local PR people are claiming that there were 250k people at the Plaza Lighting Ceremony last night and that's pretty much a complete lie that's repeated by the media every year without question.

    Then there's lazy reporting regarding how much energy is really wasted. This year, only the KC Tribune has raised any real questions about the environmental impact of the Plaza Lights.

    Speaking of wasted energy . . . Fox 4 is still trying promote David Cook in one of his last moves before the long journey into obscurity or Kansas City trivia. Apparently, Cook can not only sing throaty ballads but also take part in happy-go lucky ceremonies that mostly serve to waste electricity.

    But Cook's fading star was no match for a true Kansas City original!!!

    I've talked to a couple of people who also took notice of the guy and I think we may have a new local celebrity.

    As most people know, restroom availability during the Plaza Lighting Ceremony is always at a premium. Most of the shops are closed and the Starbucks near the stage is really the only place to take a leak . . . The struggling coffee outlet was somewhat prepared and hired additional staff to deal with the onslaught of cheap folks who didn't want any coffee but only to drop trou . . . The loud, angry Asian dude was in charge of the door for the night and greeted Plaza Starbucks customers with:

    YOU WANT COFFEE OR BATHROOM!?!?!

    I heard one 50-something dude respond: "Both"

    To this, the expert doorman Asian dude replied:

    "WHICH ONE FIRST?!!!"

    I don't know if it's Starbucks policy to check on the bodily functions of their customers but this guy did it at least half a dozen times from what I witnessed. Clearly, it was a classy scene at The Plaza coffee place . . . I wondered if the Asian dude was only there to play off minority customers but it seemed that his shtick crossed all kinds of demographic barriers and I guess his purpose was merely to form two separate lines.

    Nevertheless, this kind of customer service is noteworthy and I'm happy to report the guy wasn't even that phased when I told him: "Why, do you want to hold it for me?" in response to his question about what fluid I would be dealing with first.

    For better or worse . . . The night belonged to the angry Asian dude yelling at people at Starbucks because everything else was simply an annual Kansas City cliché.

    Black Friday in Kansas City is a bust!!!



    TKC TIPSTERS are e-mailing bad news with a quickness this morning . . .

    So far, typical Black Friday hangouts are underperforming according ground level observations:

  • A Northland Wal-Mart that usually draws a line in the early morning hours barely has anybody in the parking lot right now.

  • Reports from the Sears in Antioch Center and Metcalf South say that foot traffic is sparse.

  • Two phone calls to TKC claim that Oak Park Mall is A LOT LESS CROWDED THAN LAST YEAR!!!

  • Not really a Black Friday hangout but I went to the Plaza this morning and there's really nobody shopping up a storm out that way . . .

    I'm sure local TV stations will find excited people to show on camera . . . But the story from people who aren't selling anything is much different as Kansas City area shoppers are the first to declare Black Friday a bust.
  • I don't believe in MSM, I just believe in me



    I'm not bragging . . .

    I know this isn't the most important story in the world or even in the KC area.

    It's just a fact that close Kansas City News watchers saw it coming first by reading TKC.

    While I should write something obnoxious like:

    EVEN ON A SLOW NEWS DAY TKC BEATS THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA!!!

    I know that's not really true and the only reason for most of the bluster of this blog is because I've heard that it annoys humorless newsies to no end.

    Nevertheless, when I saw a story about a KC based Beatles video . . . I couldn't help but sense something familiar:

    OP Man Sells Beatles Film For $6,500

    Not a bad story . . . And there was an exclusive interview.

    Still, TKC showed it to readers from a UK news site while it was still developing:

    Long, lost Kansas City Beatles video resurfaces after 44 years!!!

    On October 28th no less.

    Then TKC linked another Brit news story regarding the sale of the film earlier this month on November 6th:

    Sold: "The one and only motion picture in existence of the one and only concert the Beatles would ever perform in Kansas City."


    So yeah, that feeling of déjà vu that close news watchers get . . . Sometimes TKC is the inspiration of that sensation (no homo).

    And it's not like I contend that blogs will ever replace mainstream news outlets . . . It's just that . . . More often than anybody cares to think . . . People are noticing less of a difference.

    Kansas City Mid-Morning Link Focus



    I'm not looking at anything earth shattering this morning (thankfully) but here are a few Kansas City Links that have caught my attention:

  • The KC Star finds hope in questionable stats from another dead tree publication: Newspaper featuring KC's most wanted leads to 90 arrests since inception

  • Kansas City complaining dude makes sure his house will burn to the ground in the event of a fire: "Firefighters are on duty, even when shopping at Hen House"

  • Star headline: "Foreign students experience a KC Thanksgiving" I didn't read the story (as usual) but I'm guessing they were racially profiled and then shot by their former friends or lovers.

  • Charity can wait: More than 4,000 homes lost power Thursday morning in eastern Jackson County, delaying the start of Thanksgiving preparations for many.

  • Could you spare a square? Ottawa Woman Gives Birth on Bathroom Floor

  • Scary Power Toll Show Me State Drama via RDM.

  • Finally, a few Keeley Hazell photos in support of underarm spray or something are worth a click, I guess.
  • Suspicious Death in Shawnee

    The Star reports: Shawnee police are investigating the suspicious death of a woman found in her apartment late Thursday night.

    A bit more "Black Friday" Perspective

    RDM asks the Kansas City blogger question of the day ripped from the local headlines: "Was it worth the busted head you got when you got ran over in the parking lot at Walmart in Lee’s Summit?"

    TKC on your mobile!!! Kansas City bloggers should do the same!!!



    Back when the Mayor and his crew blocked this site . . . That fact worried me for about a half a second.

    Then I realized that technology made this feeble gesture nothing more than an indication that Mayor Funky and his people didn't know what they were doing . . . They still don't but now more people agree with this fact than I could have ever hoped.

    Anyhoo . . . The point here is that TKC is now taking this bloggy thing to mobile devices everywhere!!!

    Check out the new cell phone compatible version of this page created (in about two minutes) with the help of MoFuse.

    TKC MOBILE, HELLZ YEAH!!!

    Mind you, this is 2005 technology but this year it's free and available to any blogger who is prepared to sign up for yet another online service.

    MoFuse is actually very awesome and it requires no effort whatsoever, just an RSS or ATOM feed. MoFuse has earned pretty decent reviews and so far it seems to be working for me and the two people I know rich enough to have cell phones that do this kind of thing.

    Thing of it is: THIS IS THE FUTURE OF NEWS DELIVERY!!!

    Nobody is going to wait for a newspaper to deliver coverage or even tune into TV when the content they want is available to them (FOR FREE) right in their pocket.

    Look at every coffee shop, mall or airport . . . PEOPLE ARE CHECKING CELL PHONES AND HANDHELDS NON-STOP BUT RARELY STOP TO WATCH TV AND NEVER READ THE PAPER ANYMORE!!!

    Local bloggers who want to deliver their content to bored and obsessive cell phone and handheld device users should seriously thing about MoFuse. I'm not getting a dime from them but I do like their service and can plainly see that digital content delivery is moving past the PC on to mobile devices and leaving old media paradigms far behind.

    Eric Bowers and his Kansas City Flickr

    This guy is one of the most talented photogs working in Kansas City and his Flickr page provides some amazing images . . . (No current Plaza Lights photos, because every d-bag with a cell phone is now uploading those to the web)

    Westport Hipsters craving carbs are in luck

    The Star reports that Westport's Napoleon Bakery is reopening with a new owner . . . Meanwhile, I won't even pretend to understand this story and I don't really have any real understanding of how rich white people make a huge production out of eating expensive bread.

    Kansas City Chiefs fan cuts loose on the Internets: "I'm gonna wear this fucking bag over my head until we win a game."



    Adam from Arrowhead Addict produces what could be the definitive Chiefs Youtube video of the year.

    There are a lot of great lines in the video but I put the money quote in the headline of this post. However, this Internets video from a local blogger clearly illustrates the frustration of local fans far better than any sportscaster or columnist ever could.

    Black Friday Backfires in Kansas City



    It's kind of disappointing watching the local news shill for corporate chain stores just because they happen to be in the metro area.

    On the subject of the economy, most media invariably shows the bias inherent in advertising supported journalism sometime at the direct behest of their corporate sponsors. Big media needs big business to do well for no other reason than ad revenue. Even if I did take ad money (Google still owes me $37.50) I doubt I would ever care which big retailer went bankrupt . . . Mostly because I'm bad person.

    In fact, I would be remiss if I didn't point out that this is National Buy Nothing Day!!!

    Again, I don't care enough about any cause (other than my own) to support an economic, political or social stance . . . Or at least I've never thought that any cause was more important than poon-tang. But the point here is that all this talk about "Black Friday" merely represents a frighteningly out of touch mass media created reality. If there was real objectivity in reporting than media wouldn't care that Kansas City's economy is in the toilet and they'd simply report facts. Sadly, that'll happen about as soon as good-looking white women gone missing stop making headlines even if they're just taking an extraordinarily long time in the bathroom.

    Also, it's worth pointing out that banking on Black Friday to make up for bad financial fundamentals is a really bad idea. Just about every economic indicator reveals that the U.S. economy isn't headed for a rebound any time soon and the saccharine, overly confident news coverage is simply nothing more than sponsored content. To wit, a bikini photo gallery of Jessica White (irony?) is the only way I'll be celebrating Black Friday today.

    Like so much else of what people mistakenly call news . . . It's a scam and a lie and doesn't have much more credibility that the average blog.

    So feel free to keep on maxing out credit cards because a trusted media outlet said everything was going to be alright. Just don't expect so-called "superior mainstream journalism ethics" or sexy smiling newsy faces on TV to help with the bill.

    Thursday, November 27, 2008

    Happy Thanksgiving, d-bags!!!



    I don't do sentimental . . . In fact, whenever another man gets the least bit introspective in my proximity I always ask him if his uterus is okay.

    It's not that I'm ungrateful . . . It's just that I don't care if anyone thinks I'm ungrateful.

    With so many people killed in this town, so many jobs lost and two wars still underway with a rookie politician at the helm of this nation . . . I think anyone not in any immediate turmoil should feel lucky.

    And so what if our Mayor has way more in common with Caligula on a foot fetish bender than anybody would care to imagine?

    There is a lot to be thankful for . . . To start with, I'm glad that there are more than a few folks reading this blog who love to correct my work and add their own, far more insightful, commentary. Also, the only real hope for change that I have comes from the fact that we live in such an amazing technological age when nearly anyone can harness the power of the Shamwow! Finally, the fact that we're not dealing with terrorist attacks today like the folks in Mumbai should make us all very, very thankful.

    So, as always, thank you for reading, and please try to enjoy this holiday safely.

    HAPPY THANKSGIVING KANSAS CITY!!!

    GREAT NEW BLOG: FUKCED CITY.COM!!!



    I was lucky enough to find a great new blog on this holiday.

    Even the title is clever and captures the current mood of this city perfectly:

    FuKCed City . . . NICE!!!

    The photoshop work from this local blog is not only excellent but also hilarious.

    Somehow, these bastards even found a way into my basement hideout!!!

    I'm looking forward to great things from this awesome new, local blog offering . . . And what they've got so far is a must read.

    Bannister Mall Before Demolition



    A dude from the KC Rag forum posted some great photos from inside Bannister Mall.

    The place looks haunting, depressing and dangerous.

    The only thing scarier than this amazing set of urban exploring photos is that Kansas City is going to provide A HUGE SUPER-TIF DURING A GLOBAL FINANCIAL CRISIS in a scheme to redevelop the area on behalf of a soccer team with one of the lowest attendance records in the league.

    Tragic Curtain Call for Kansas City Actor



    We're approaching the end of the year and local murders continue to rise.

    Neither local government nor a great many community leaders seem to have a solution.

    And with every passing day we see that violence in the greater Kansas City metropolitan area impacts everyone in and around this town in spite of racial or class boundaries which serve only to create a false sense of security.

    The tragic murder of a local actor is just another sad sign of this area's constant struggle to address the problem of local violence and murder.

    Actor Peter Fopeano shot to death in KCK

    A local blogger knew the victim of the homicide and writes an insightful post on the topic:

    Fate's Thoughts: Another KC Shooting

    Awash in Kansas City Thanksgiving Links



    Here are some of the best newsy links I'm reading today:

  • THE FIX IS IN . . . MORE SCHOOL BOARD APPLICANTS MYSTERIOUSLY APPEAR AS KANSAS CITY WAITS TO SEE HOW MARILYN SIMMONS GAMES THE SYSTEM (AGAIN)!!!

  • Russ Ptacek of NBC Action News proves that shopping mall consumers are mostly crooks with hidden cam video!!!

  • This story is supposed to make you feel happy and not angry at the kind of people who would report such tripe: Spirit of Thanksgiving Alive Across the Metro

  • More regs for loan sharks: Ordinance sets restrictions on KCK payday loan shops

  • Free to beg again: Homeless Man Jailed For 3 Years Acquitted

  • NEVER TRUST ANYTHING THAT'S WRITTEN ON THE INTERNETS!!!

  • Poor, young person in for a life misery if she remains so thoughtful: 5-Year-Old Finds, Returns $7K At Kansas Goodwill

  • Crook lawyer forced to pay for a change: Attorney ordered to pay widow $560,000 in investment scheme

  • Equality at gun point: Young Girls Kill Deer On First Hunt

  • Powerful Problems: The troubled Kansas City, Kan., Board of Public Utilities is facing millions of dollars in fines for violating federal clean air laws, a federal spokesman said Wednesday.

  • AP Round-up of Funky trouble at City Hall

  • Par for the course as Kansas City homicide count continues to creep upward: KC man shot to death on sister's front porch
  • KANSAS CITY IS FULL CRUEL TURKEYS!!!

    KCTV5: Thief Steals Woman's Thanksgiving Turkey . . . I don't like wishing anyone harm, but Karma dictates that there is a real risk that the guy might choke on it. On the other than, I wonder how much a "hot" turkey might run for . . .?

    Crime Scene KC keeps serving up great stuff

    I realize why this is my favorite local blog . . . Because author James Hart has the great instinct to know that we all are wondering what in the hell is happening around Chubby's on Broadway on the day before Thanksgiving . . . Truly a blogger talent!!!

    Thanks to local media

    Bottomline Communications creates a masterful media thank you list . . . Meanwhile, most other newsies and PR people are salivating and pretty envious of the guy's long list (no homo) of contacts in Kansas City.

    Blogger Backtalk: Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)



    The best bloggers don't take many breaks no matter how much they earn them . . . I was glad to see so many opinionated Kansas City Internet denizens posting so close to a holiday and I thought it was well worth my time to serve up some of the best:

  • Random blogger thankfulness!!!

  • A fantastic post about local sidewalks . . . TKC Follow-up: Mayor Funky Promised Red Bridge Sidewalks during the campaign, they haven't seen him since.

  • My favorite kind of blogger post: "Why Thanksgiving Is Overrated"

  • It's never too late to start thinking about shopping: Kansas City Black Friday Shopping Guide

  • Kansas Watch: Plaza Lights circa 1976 . . . A great perspective on the not too distant past of this town and how one blogger discovered it.

  • Title track from Sly & The Family Stone: Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)
  • Kansas City Racism Continued

    Kickass KC Blogger May offers a bit more historical perspective regarding the racism of Kansas City and tracks the trend up to the present day.

    Read "The Right Track"

    A great conservative blog with a bunch of content from Kansas City . . . Soon to be on the blogroll if/when blogrolling ever gets their junk together.

    Orange Revolution up against the wall



    A recent photo gallery of Imogen Bailey pretending to do housework in skimpy clothes is one of my all-time faves.

    I was tempted to skip posting all together today but the images of sexy, imagined household drudgery reminded me that a great many people are looking for any excuse to avoid their families today and just a few links from this humble blog offering are the very least I could do for a typical TKC reader who can't stand anybody.

    On a personal note . . . I notice that it's getting really hard to argue with people about Mayor Funky given that so many folks agree with me that he's horrible . . . If this gets any worse I'm going to have to start defending the dude just to keep people thinking about alternative perspectives . . . But then again, I think staying on his case and avoiding the kind of milquetoast writing that most metro columnists come up with will keep this blog interesting.

    Wednesday, November 26, 2008

    Celebrate delicious failure in Kansas City!!! The 4th Annual TKC Turkey Awards!!!



    It's not that I'm not thankful, I've just always thought that Thanksgiving was a holiday dedicated to cleaning up the memory of the Native American genocide which marked the establishment of this nation . . . I guess "if you want to make an omelet" right?

    Anyhoo . . . I'm not about living in the past . . . I'd rather make the most of the present with this awesome, annual list dedicated to the biggest Turkeys in Kansas City.

    Here are my award winners:

    Without a doubt, the Co-Mayors of Kansas City are the biggest turkeys in Kansas City!!!



    Whether they are suing the city, making ridiculous comparisons or statements about their "struggle" or just providing everyday embarrassment like the latest bathroom details which were revealed in this round of depositions . . . This pair of Kansas City leaders practicing nepotism have proved to be Kansas City's biggest mess and I'm glad I was able to acknowledge their achievement.


    Herm Edwards is Kansas City's turkey that's about to get slaughtered in the NFL job market!!!



    I hate to give Herm a hard time because he's about to get fired but there's just no way he doesn't deserve a prize for his incredible failure. Enjoy you're TKC Turkey Award Herm!!! It's the only trophy you'll ever leave Kansas City with . . . (Note: There's no TKC Turkey Trophy . . . Just print out a copy of this post and keep it under your pillow).

    Light Rail and Russ Johnson turned out to be total Kansas City turkey failures!!!



    Kansas City's super expensive billion dollar light rail effort was defeated by a huge margin . . . Kansas 2nd District Council Member and MENSA genius Russ Johnson also went down in flames with the initiative. Before the vote Johnson was considered a slightly pompous guy who did good work when it came down to it, however his behavior toward light rail opponents (i.e. the majority of Kansas City) was reportedly pretty gruff. In fact, he earned the reputation as a bully while promoting/pushing this loser on the locals who thankfully said NO. There's no telling the future of these two turkeys but this year, they obviously didn't do very well.

    Kansas City anti-Latino/anti-immigrant reactionary turkeys stay losing!!!



    Of course not all people who oppose illegal immigration should be considered racist . . . However, it would help if most of really outspoken people who only care about keeping brown people out of the country weren't so horribly racist. This year was horrible for Kansas city anti-Latino/anti-immigrant reactionaries. Minute Lady Frances Semler resigned and gave up her commitments to Kansas City because she couldn't go to a party. Meanwhile, Immigration - which some thought would define the Presidential election - wasn't really mentioned much at all. On the bright side, there's still an increasing number of Mexicans and other immigrants for these folks to kick around.

    David Cook is the only turkey in Kansas City who is done in 15 minutes.



    Again, I don't want to pick on this guy because his career is just about over. While I wish him the best of luck . . . Performing at the P&L District is not a career!!!

    Thank you Kansas City Turkeys!!! This town has been defined this year by your fail. Better luck to us all next time around.

    TKC Talks Turkey with Darla Jaye!!!



    This should be a fun appearance with Darla Jaye tonight!!! Since we're so close to a holiday I wonder if she'll yell at me as much . . . We'll see!!! There's also a great deal of ground to Funky subject matter to cover.

    Listen to 980 Live with Darla Jaye . . . I'm scheduled on the program at around 8 P.M. - KMBZ News Radio 980 AM.

    TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! Kansas City Chiefs Quarterback Tyler Thigpen hooking up with Holly Starr!!!



    Despite the fact that Chiefs Quarterback Tyler Thigpen has been a total loser on the football field, the d-bag has managed to make one decent move that doesn't involve running out of the pocket like a panicked school girl and then fumbling the ball.

    TKC Tipsters tell me that he's "dating" the incredibly hot and talented local TV host Holly Starr.

    Well, I don't know if "dating" is exactly the right word since NFL dudes are known for having multiple babies and lady friends. However, the Chiefs quarterback of the moment has been seen numerous times with the hotass Kansas City lady at the Tengo Sed Cantina in the Power & Light District.

    No one can say for certain how serious it is . . . However, Holly has also been seen around town wearing the following outfit:



    Naturally, I don't want to see Holly get hurt because above all I care about people (!!!) . . . However, like all horrible dudes in this town TKC has done quite nicely by "comforting" broken hearted white ladies.

    So . . . It's hard not to see a silver-lining here. Natch.

    GLORIA SQUITIRO'S GREATEST HITS!!!



    A great story from The Star . . . I won't even gloat that a great deal of these details have already been blogged here because this is simply awesome reporting that is much more concise and well researched than stuff on a blog (even if some of it overlaps). . . Put simply, a great many of these details deserve to be highlighted:

    "Mayor Mark Funkhouser's first office manager has testified that the mayor’s wife, Gloria Squitiro, in essence managed the office."

    Testified that when she didn’t follow an order from Squitiro, Funkhouser told her, "You know when you’re talking to Gloria it’s like talking to me."

    Described a tense and unprofessional office environment in which Squitiro would make raunchy comments and staff members were frustrated by Squitiro’s involvement in the office doings. She said she was taken aback that Squitiro would go around the office barefoot, and was disgusted to see the couple go into the mayor’s office bathroom together or kiss in the office.

    A CITY THAT WORKS!!! BAREFOOT!!!

    Facts:

  • The woman who made this deposition doesn't have anything to gain financially from this case.

  • I understand legal posturing but there is no way these details bode well for the Funky Administration or his case believing as much would be naive. This is yet another Mayoral Staffer who confirms Squitiro's overwhelmign influence.

  • Judging solely by personal observation . . . Nearly 1/3rd of all people who show up for jury duty in Jackson County are African-American females. There is no way Mayor Funky is winning this case.

    Meanwhile . . . The stupidity continues and brings local government in this town to a virtual standstill . . . All thanks to the "Orange revolution."
  • Good Morning America and the Kansas City Co-Mayors!!! What did ya think?



    At every turn I've been disappointed by Co-Mayors Funky and Squitiro . . . But that's old news.

    I'm more interested in what Kansas City political watchers and residents think.

    From previews of the footage I'm going to predict that the comparison of KC Co-Mayor Gloria Squitiro to Michelle Obama didn't go over well considering that the "KC first lady" used a racist "Mammy" slur . . . And I think the "silliest love story in the Midwest" angle might not inspire people all over the nation . . .

    And that poster in the Mayor's Office . . . It's like a tribute to how out of touch the Mayor is, even when it comes to his own staff.

    Nevertheless, it's kind of funny that so many politicos in KC will be watching GMA as if they've already retired and taking a moment out of their day before the early bird special.

    Sweet.

    So, for those of you who had the guts to take a look . . .

    What did ya think?

    Update: Lame . . . I didn't see it. Next time I hear big media people talking about their credibility, I'm going to start yelling profanities because they actually tricked me into watching Good Morning America.

    KANSAS CITY BLOGGER BEEF!!! THE PLAGIARISM EDITION!!!



    The local Internets thrives mostly on contentiousness and acrimony which is supplied by blogger beef.

    Here is today's serving:

    BLOG KC ACCUSES PLAZA BUZZ OF PLAGIARISM!!!

    Plaza Buzz responds and claims that he was citing a public information source

    The Punchline:

    THEY'RE BOTH REFERRING TO INFORMATION REGARDING BUS SCHEDULES!!!

    Long ago TKC learned that the best defense against plagiarism is writing poorly. It has worked so far.

    Also, I think these posts are classic because they prove that there is NO SUBJECT too small to inspire bickering in the local blogopshere.

    Normally, most academics have a hard time raising their dander over plagiarism when politics or profit isn't involved but bloggers do it simply out of love (no homo?) that's a nice thought and I'm somewhat glad to see that citizen media can host a nifty fight over the bus . . . Normally, folks would have to wait for homeless people to get into a scuffle over spare change left over on a seat to witness the same level of entertainment.

    TKC NOTE: There's no such thing as plagiarism . . . I'd rather call all of blogging "postmoderism" and slap a photo of a half-naked white woman bikini model on it. Natch.

    South KC Soccer Pipe Dream



    Down the Byline is not only the best soccer blog in Kansas City . . . The Internet news outlet also provides AMAZING INSIGHT INTO THE (PIPE) DREAMS OF PEOPLE WHO LOVE SOCCER (AND SUPER TIF)!!!

    Just take a look at sketches of the grand revival (renaissance?) that a soccer team with one of the lowest attendance records in the league will bring to the blighted, old Banister Mall site.

    Seriously, the dreams of soccer fans are incredible and this plan for economic development based on a sport that few people in the metro area take seriously is one of the most vivid fantasies I've ever seen . . . And I was forced to see Twilight recently!!! Quick review: The story of teenage vampires who eschew sex for love and devotion was far more realistic than plans for soccer to spark real (non-government) economic development in South KC.

    The annual Kansas City X-mas mistake



    More on this later . . . I just wanted to quickly make note of the fact that holiday generosity is not all it's cracked up to be . . .

    Secret Santa Tradition Continues In KC . . .

    Despite the fact that it is widely acknowledged that a society could make no greater mistake than asking charity to do the work of social justice.


    Put simply, let's not make too much of a fuss over media people and other part-time, local philanthropists breaking their arm in order to pat themselves on the back.

    Anti-Funkhouser Facebook Campaign!!!



    It's not just bloggers who want to get the Funk out.

    MyFoxKC reports:

    Kansas City Woman Uses Facebook for Anti-Funkhouser Campaign

    Thankfully, anti-Mayor Funky sentiment isn't just confined to the Internets anymore . . . In fact, the debate has outgrown online forums while Mayor Funky remains in his house, isolated and comparing his wife to people he sees on TV.

    Understanding the Kansas City media landscape and SUPREMACY of hipsters!!!



    This blog has covered the many attacks against crime activist Alonzo Washington before . . .

    Most of attacks on the KC Crime Activist come from anonny people on the net who typically rely on racism and outright bigotry.

    That's not to say that there are other folks who don't care for or don't understand his tactics and simply disagree with Mr. Washington regarding strategy. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

    And then there's the hipster d-bags at The Pitch who haven't ever done anything for anyone outside their corporate structure.

    The facts regarding "these people" are clear:

  • Mr. Washington denies them interviews. This drives every newsie crazy - That anybody in this community would dare scoff at the power of their media outlet. However, print media people are even a tad more uptight at this tactic given that they stand on the precipice of obsolescence.

  • The Kansas City hipster set writing for The Pitch mistakenly confuse the stand up comedy routines of Sarah Silverman and Lisa Lampanelli with sociology and strangely seem to contend that their outright display of white privilege and supremacy only goes to show how "evolved" they are regarding race relations . . . Put simply, they want to be rewarded for attacking people of color simply as a matter of style . . . This twisted logic could only come from hours upon hours of listening to Wilco is the modern day equivalent of proclaiming that "some of my best friends are (fill in the blank of whatever racial/ethnic group is under attack)."

  • I simply don't like most of these pole smoking Pitch writers who arrogantly think they're making a difference because their parents paid a little more for a lower echelon j-school degree.

  • Anyhoo . . . My dislike of KC writes who pretend that they're not profiting from liquor ads and massage services is no match for Mr. Washington's answer to these people . . .

    Still, the fact remains . . . That what The Pitch did was offer a bit of promotion for Mr. Washington's business and everyone involved in this so-called "dispute" understands as much. Even my criticisms or their passive aggressive links back to TKC represent a swap of mindshare and the only people truly left out in the cold are folks who don't understand the way media and the Internets work.

    KANSAS CITY DIVORCED WOMAN INSPIRATIONAL STORY OF THE DAY!!!

    File this one under divorce drama or some other cliché that should once again rebuke the myth that friendship is ever an option after a relationship is over. MyFoxKC reports: "A woman is under arrest after she told police she shot her ex-husband who kept coming over and demanding sex from her.

    When police found Earl Brown, 60, he had been shot, and was naked, had a handcuff on one wrist, and was curled up in a fetal position.

    Police said the suspect, Sharon D. Brown, 61, admitted she was tired of her ex-husband coming over demanding sex and control of her home."

    REJOICE!!! KMBC DISCOVERS THAT DISCRIMINATION DOESN'T EXIST IN KANSAS CITY!!!

    Non-scientific study without a random sample, control or verifiable results proves that discrimination doesn't exist in the P&L District. Using this same methodology it has recently been discovered that super models love TKC.

    Kansas City women will cut you



    Note to myself when out in public:

    Try to be a lot nicer to women in my daily routine.

    No more cat calls.

    Refrain from saying "nice wheels" whenever a woman wearing a skirt walks by.

    It is inappropriate to yell "That's a huge bitch" whenever a woman taller than me passes by . . .

    Not all women shake hands with their right breast.

    "I can smell you" should not be the first option for greeting a female in an elevator.

    Ex-girlfriends don't appreciate emails with the subject header "I miss your body"

    "Who's she fuckin'?" is not always the most pertinent question in regard to the career path of a professional female.

    Stand no less than one and half arms length away from any woman during an (inevitable) argument.

    Check it:

    Woman Stabs Man at 56th and Wabash

    DEFENDING THE WHITE MAN!!!



    The JoCo SOB is one of my favorite blogs.

    I like the guy's writing and linking and I even think he posts with the same spirit of irony as TKC.

    His recent, strident defense of persecuted white people was a classic!!!

    To be fair, I've always thought that poor white people had more in common with poor people of color than most would dare acknowledge and only the "powers that be" utilize racism in order to create meaningless divisions where none actually exist but that's neither here not there . . .

    The point is . . . I admire anyone with the courage to take a stand for the white man!!! Obviously, since the Obama election this endangered class has been taking it on the chin (No Homo) . . . Here's what the JoCo SOB has to offer:
    I wonder why there aren't any interviews taking place inside some of the KCMO schools about the racism towards white students or why there is never any in depth reporting on kill whitey graffiti on the city's east side.
    Hey, it doesn't matter that there's no evidence of rampant persecution of white people in Kansas City OR the fact that white people seem to be doing pretty well in the metro area if all of the white people who occupy homes on Ward Parkway and the nicer parts of JoCo are any indication . . . I'm supportive of any group claiming persecution . . . Go ahead and add rich, white dudes to the growing list!!!

    Kansas City Morning Link Look: Sad Eyes Edition and Everything Else



    Lots of links to look at today . . . Newsies are in a rush to file their stories before the drinking holiday:

  • KC Stands ready to cut services in an attempt to keep on entertaining JoCo.

  • "A Day in the Life of Kansas City's Homeless" . . . Wake up, free meal, steal from downtown cars, free meal, beg for change for booze, free meal, sleep on clean sheets, repeat.

  • The Kansas Citian of the Year is surprisingly not TKC.

  • Marching Cobras on National TV

  • Club for a Kansas Citydead art form makes a comeback.

  • Newsflash: Local Modeling is a great way to become a ho!!!

  • Downtown Mission Biz Owners Sound Off over Construction

  • Meth is a hell of a drug: Copper Thieves Rob Woman Of Heat In Home

  • Good News from a place I still wouldn't want to live near: Renovated Ivanhoe home to be granted to one family via lottery system

  • NSFW Bianca Gascoigne photos are a great way to start the day.
  • Holiday Hate in Kansas City



    Thanksgiving is next up and then we're well into the holidays season.

    Here's how I'm planning on ruining it for myself and anyone who is unfortunate enough to hang around me:

  • My response to everything from now until New Year's will be: "So, you think you're better than me??"

  • Along with a few other people, I'll be booing when Mayor Funky appears on stage during the X-mas tree lighting.

  • I'll be posting passive aggressive comments only related to me on your blog.

  • I'll be talking a lot about how Britney Spears is hot again!!!

  • I've been playing X-mas music since June.

    That should cover it, if I think of any more ways that I can ruin the X-mas season, besides my constant stream of anti-corporate anti-consumer rhetoric, I'll post a follow-up.
  • Tuesday, November 25, 2008

    TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! MORE FUNKY DEPOSITIONS DROP TOMORROW!!!



    Tomorrow is going to be a big news day and KICKASS TKC TIPSTERS wanted to prepare readers of this blog for what might be going down.

    Enjoy some of these EXCLUSIVE DETAILS as to the most interesting parts of the upcoming depositions soon hitting the public airwaves.

    Here's the most important stuff according to the deposition of the woman Co-Mayor Squitiro referred to as Bernie Mac:

    ACCORDING TO THE DEPOSITIONS, MAYOR FUNKY CAN'T EVEN GO TO THE BATHROOM WITHOUT HIS WIFE!!!

    I don't know how this one is going to read and honestly I'm going to be surprised to look at it in black and white but rumors of these Funky bathroom habits have circulating for quite some time . . . Now the public gets a taste (EW!!!) of the real level of weirdness practiced by Mayor Funky & CO!!!

    It gets worse!!!

    THE WOMAN WHO CO-MAYOR SQUITIRO CALLED BERNIE MAC NOTED THAT SHE WAS "DISGUSTED" BY THE HUMOR USED IN THE MAYOR'S OFFICE AND SAID AS MUCH WHILE LOOKING DIRECTLY AT SQUITIRO!!!

    It was the most heated moment in the depositions so far as the woman the Co-Mayor called "Bernie Mac" told her side of the story.

    Let's not forget that Mayor Funky's deposition drops tomorrow and we might even hear from Joe Miller as his deposition could likely confirm a lot of the Mayoral craziness.

    As I noted previously, we'll see even more coverage tomorrow and I can only hope that newsies report the more salacious parts of the material and don't bury the coverage due to holiday laziness or decorum.

    It seems that Kansas City Co-Mayors have once again given this town something to talk about during the holidays and we can all agree that the so-called "Orange Revolution" has been an unqualified disaster in every sense of the term.

    The Nation will wake up with Kansas City's Funky Co-Mayors!!! Ugh.



    It's nice of KMBC to remind everyone that Mayor Funky's love saga with Co-Mayor Squitiro will be featured on Good Morning America tomorrow for all of the nation to see!!!
    Funkhouser showed the ABC news crew Squitiro's desk outside his office in City Hall.

    "This is the booth. This is the chair she will be sitting in again, when she comes back," Funkhouser said.

    There is a picture of President-Elect Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle Obama. And a caption reads, "The First Lady will not be going home either."

    Squitiro said she's not doing anything that other political spouses don't do.

    "I'm not willing to be in the closest about this. I am serving my husband, and I'm not ashamed of that," Squitiro said.

    "We worked hand-in-glove, intensely for months, while campaigning for the job. What was I supposed to do after I got elected? Just dump her? Say, 'See ya, honey?'" Funkhouser said.
    Now this is awesome . . . The tall, white Mayor of Kansas City will be telling the whole nation that he and his wife are just like the first couple despite the fact that the President-elect wanted nothing to do with them when he came into town . . . And of course the question of the "Mammy-Gate" negates any kind of real comparison with the first African-American President.



    And here's the really important fact:

    KANSAS CITY'S MAYOR IS NOW FOCUSED ONLY HIS LOVE AFFAIR WITH HIS WIFE!!!

    KANSAS CITY ISN'T IN THE NATIONAL NEWS BECAUSE OF OUR INNOVATIVE SOLUTION TO THE CURRENT BUDGET CRISIS OR PROGRESS WITH INFRASTRUCTURE . . . THIS TOWN IS MAKING NATIONAL NEWS BECAUSE MAYOR FUNKY CAN'T DO HIS JOB WITHOUT GLORIA SQUITIRO!!!

    On the bright side . . . Kansas City's local government is now nothing more than entertainment and the "principle" on which the Mayor stands is solely related to encouraging nepotism on behalf of his wife.

    Kansas City Evening Link Cook Off!!!



    Here are some of the tasty links that I'm looking at this evening:

  • TIFs will slash $3.3 million from police, fire departments!!! No joke.

  • Chicks in this town will kill you: Woman Admits To Estranged Husband's Murder

  • Scary case, luckily the Internets is not to blame this time around: KC Man Sentenced to 45 years for Infecting Other with HIV

  • Thankfully, a JoCo problem that a hunting season might solve: Deer Population Boom Could Threaten Shawnee Mission Park

  • BlogKC provides a MUST READ Downtown parking lesson!!!

  • So much for suburbanite self-reliance: A Kansas bank in Olathe loses $4 million bucks and now wants a federal bailout.

  • Hopefully not another Kansas art film: Kansas movie from a Lawrence screenwriter set to start shooting

  • Another Kansas City Blog Provides a Local Foodie Public Service

  • Another KCK Biz pretty much shuts down: ABX Air Inc. will lay off 76 of its 82 employees at its Kansas City, Kan., hub

  • Images of Imogen Bailey in Maxim are smoking (and a nice way to spend and evening)!!!
  • Kansas City Hobos are either dangerous or lovable scamps - YOU DECIDE!!!



    Kansas City's homeless problem continues and there was rumor that it could be contributing to the local homicide rate which is another dilemma that the metro likes to ignore.

    Anyhoo . . .

    SHALLOW GRAVES TURNED UP TODAY NEAR A KANSAS CITY HOMELESS CAMP!!!

    On the bright side . . . They seemingly turned out to be nothing.

    NBC Action News has the details:
    Cadaver dogs have been brought to a Kansas City homeless camp in hopes of discovering more information about what appear to be shallow graves..

    No body or human remains have been found, but “homicide detectives are in the area of 17th and Holly conducting an investigation into a homeless camp and the area round that camp,” said Sgt. Tony Sanders with the Kansas City Police Department.

    Kansas City Police say they went to the heavily-wooded homeless camp around 1 a.m. to question a suspect in a recent copper theft and began the investigation.
    KCPD started digging and then stopped after not finding anything . . . So I guess crazy-ass car thieving and copper stealing homeless can declare this a victory against stereotypes or maybe just cause for them to go back to their carefree days of playing the harmonica, eating soup and laughing by an open fire.

    Someone to hate on Thanksgiving

    Kansas City Woman Wins $1.7 Million Lotto

    A history of racism in Kansas City

    May's Machete comes up with another stellar post regarding this Kansas City's racist roots.

    TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! CO-MAYOR GLORIA SQUITIRO TELLS HER STORY TODAY!!!



    According to well-qualified and credible sources, Co-Mayor of Kansas City Gloria Squitiro is set to be deposed today.

    This is her first chance at "vindication" or at least to tell her side of the story to lawyers.

    I'm anxious to hear/read what she says but I have a feeling it'll probably be somewhat similar to the same delusional denials that Mayor Funky fires off at the media everyday.

    My favorite Gloria Squitiro story, which has been heretofore unrevealed to the local media goes like this:
    Before any lawsuits were filed or anyone was fired there was a meeting in the hallway of City Hall between Squitiro and the victim of the Mammy slur.

    THE MEETING LASTED NEARLY THREE HOURS!!!

    The meeting slowly devolved into a confrontation and there was yelling, finger pointing and all sorts of stupid statements made (mostly by Squitiro) . . . I don't know who picked the location but anybody who has ever been to City Hall knows that the stairwell goes all the way up and down the length of the building and City Staffers from throughout the structure were peaking out their heads and listening to the whole thing.

    By far, the stupidest statement that leaked out according to bystanders was from Gloria Squitiro when she said:

    "I'm Italian so I know what it's like to be discriminated against!!! Don't expect to play the race card with me."

    Unfortunately, this silly statement didn't generate a roar of laughter from everyone in the building. Instead, the victim of the Mammy slur quietly went back to her desk and back to her work.

    Things went to hell from that point on . . .
    And here we are, Gloria Squitiro is about to tell/sell her story and local government is at a virtual standstill during an important budget crisis. Remember that the Mayor's deposition reportedly took 7 HOURS and if Mayor Funky follows his usual co-dependent routine he'll probably accompany Co-mayor Squitiro for the length of the proceeding.

    At the movies, even the greatest love story can only hold the attention of an audience for a few hours . . . Mayor Funky's public display of affection has dragged on for so much longer and not only cost him his reputation but also robbed this town of an elected official that so many hoped would bring some kind of change.

    Shopping While Black in Kansas City!!!



    The best thing about this blog is the commentary from readers . . . Recently, an interesting story sent my way via e-mail reminded me of THE REAL SPIRIT OF THIS CONSUMER SEASON.

    A young woman recently documented her hardships JUST BUYING SOME DAMN SHOES and while I've never met her before in my life or communicated with her previously . . . I believe every word of her story because it's pretty typical. Especially given recent, racist shoe buying drama.

    Here's the most important part of her e-mail:
    When I entered the store one of the employees immediately started walking to the back of the store and didn't even acknowledge I had entered the store. She DID stand in the back of the store near me and watch me make my first 2 shoe selections, when I noticed her staring another store associate walked up to me and asked me if I needed help. I told her no I didn't but that if I did need help I would be sure to let her know. She walked away and I looked up the first store associate was STILL watching me like a HAWK. I became very uncomfortable and annoyed...I handed her the first two boxes and asked her to hold them at the register because I was going to be buying more shoes. I then went to make the rest of the shoe selections but as I did so I became very aware that I was being watching in the store, and also "harassed" by being asked "WOW how many kids do you have? You're sure buying a lot of shoes!."

    Needless to say the hope I had that I was just being paranoid and wasn't really being watched was came to close when I went to pay for all of the shoes.

    The clerk greeted me by saying "The reason I was watching you is because you look like someone who comes in here and steals".
    Think about that for a second . . . Imagine yourself in a different part of town and some lady starts making insinuations regarding your character. I'd say the woman showed remarkable restraint by simply writing an e-mail to TKC. This is a lady who has never stolen anything in her life being treated as a criminal based solely on the basis of skin color.

    Honestly, I don't get treated as rudely at strip clubs and I'm known for my bad behavior in those establishments along with getting way too handsy when shoving dollar bills up a g-string . . . I'm kidding, I would never touch a stripper . . . Instead, I fold fives into tiny triangles and flick them toward the biggest boobs in the room.

    ANYHOO . . . 'Tis the season for rampant racial profiling and it's clear that this year will be no exception. In fact, because of the bad economy I'm guessing that things will be even worse as unqualified and apathetic checkout people and holiday workers will spread their ignorance throughout this town and the few people able to afford gifts this year already don't have much compassion for the misery of anybody else . . . Rampant consumerism, racism, strife and discontent are so typical this time of year which is why I hope we won't see the phony "battle over X-mas" on conservative media outlets anytime soon . . . There are probably better ways to celebrate the birth of baby Jesus other than at the mall but none of them benefit the economy as much . . . Which has always been the point.

    Cuban Government and Kansas City Company Engaged in Copyfight!!!

    KC Community News reports: A local company is meeting resistance (in a trademark battle) to one of its products from an arm of the Cuban government, which has filed an opposition to Xikar using "Havana Collection" for a line of cigar cutters and accessories.

    JOCO RACISM REVEALED (AGAIN)!!!

    Kudos to KC Currents for chronicling the rampant racism among JoCo students in a story that was otherwise buried by bigger media in Kansas City.

    Kansas City Cut to Shreds



    On Friday, this blog posted about the PIAC cuts . . .

    Now the details of the cuts expected because of the budget crisis are coming down

  • $6 million for an aquatic center in the 6th District.

  • $4 million for a sewer project in Brookside.

  • $4 million for the Chouteau/Gardner drainage project in the Northland.

  • $3.4 million for a proposed Northeast Community Center.

  • $2 million for Town Fork Creek drainage on the East Side.

  • $2 million for the 18th Street road connector.

  • $750,000 for downtown streetscaping.

    As if all of that wasn't bad enough . . . There's more:

  • - $85.50 for floor buffing because of Gloria Squitiro's bare feet.

  • - $200 for protective glasses used to shield City workers after Cathy Jolly has received teeth whitening treatment.

  • - $19.95 for Sham-WOW! used to try tears over failed expectations regarding Mayor Funky's tenure.

  • - $22.50 for assorted swear jars on every floor after the term "Orange Revolution" is spoken.

  • However, I don't think people of this town should be afraid given that Mayor Funky is working hard to ensure that his wife will be back at City Hall along with other efforts to revive his attempt for regional light rail.

    Kansas City has big plans for a city with no political connections to Obama

    The Star recently wrote a post day dreaming about federal money for local projects . . . It's a wonderful fantasy. Unfortunately, we live in a town in which the Mayor's only friend is his wife.

    KCK Custodian Story

    TKC blog readers are the most heartless d-bags in the City . . . However, I would be remiss if I didn't offer up a great story from The Kansas City Kansan regarding the life story of a school custodian . . . It's honest, heartwarming, endearing and pretty much the opposite of this blog . . . So much so that I won't even try to work in a puke or molestation joke. Did I mention that I hate you d-bags?

    Kansas City Bar Fight Hero!!!



    I had a friend who once punched a fat chick for slapping him . . . But that's about as close as I've ever come to any real Kansas City Bar Fight bravery.

    Luckily, these local dudes were much more heroic:
    As Claude Royal pulled into the parking lot of his neighborhood tavern in August, he saw a bouncer struggling with a man over a shotgun.

    Royal, 49, backed his pickup truck and parked between the gunman and customers near the front door of the Tool Shed, 14940 E. U.S. 40 in Kansas City.

    The bouncer, Christopher Katzer, eventually gained control of the shotgun. The man, angry that he had been kicked out of the tavern, shouted, “I got more!”

    As the crazed man walked back to his vehicle, Katzer ushered customers inside and locked the tavern door.

    Still outside, Royal hatched a plan to subdue the gunman and avert a potentially murderous rampage.

    For their “heroic” efforts on Aug. 7, Katzer and Royal are to receive certificates of commendation today at a ceremony at Kansas City Police Headquarters.
    Again, I'm impressed . . . The only kind of honor I've received at a bar was "designated driver" and that was really boring and kept me from drinking half as much as usual.

    Kansas City Congeniality Hint: Don't argue with your Dry Wall Dude!!!

    Drywaller Kills Homeowner Over Pay Dispute

    Across the street from City Hall, lack of stubborness speeds up local government

    Take a look across the street and see how the lack of Mayor Funky's pathological stubborness makes everything run more smoothly . . . Or credit the hair gel of Mike Sanders: Jackson County OKs 2009 budget in record time

    WyCo Democrat Fighting



    Like clockwork, local Dems are fighting amongst each other . . . This time in Wyco.

    A thoughtful report from The Kansan has the details:
    The tension in the local Democratic Party boiled over this week when a series of lawsuits and restraining orders were filed over the attempted reorganization of the central committee – something that’s supposed to take place every two years.
    Even better, there's some argument over a website that is or is not the official party blog for that part of town.

    Luckily, KCK blogger Nick Sloan provides a bit of perspective on the whole ruckus which amounts to little more than entertainment that's far more contentious but still more interesting than a movie.

    Kansas City is on the hook if P&L District doesn't make 4X as much revenue next year!!! Good Luck!!!

    Analysis from Abouhalkah: "When the next fiscal year starts in May, the Power & Light District will need to create $20 million in tax revenues to pay off the new projected annual debt service."

    Show Me a Classy Headline KCTV5!!!

    Maybe the most important story out of Missouri: Woman Details Moving Slain Daughter's Severed Head

    Kansas City Morning Link Look



  • Local violence is giving us all a headache: 1 Shot In Head At East KC Apartment

  • Local airport improvement: Family-friendly lanes arrive at KCI

  • KC Upper-class water fight: The Kansas City Water Department has filed a lien against the developer of Staley Farms Golf Club.

  • The next payment for JoCo entertainment: Cauthen deems Kansas City Power & Light District 'substantially complete' but will cover part of debt load

  • The locals get a look at easily stained skank uniform: The Little Black Dress Tour Comes to KC

  • Creepy fire bug in need of a time out: Elementary School Playground Set on Fire

  • U.S. Bank Robbed in Kansas City . . . By someone other than a mortgage company.

  • Put the peak oil nightmare scenario on hold for a sec: Metro Gas Hits 4-Year-Low

  • Punishment for perv: 25 years for 2007 rape in KCMO

  • LRC Predicts a Wild Winter . . . Which kinda sucks but not in the "wild" way that does anybody any good.

  • Better but not good enough: Obama didn't get Jackson County and the probably cost him Missouri.

  • A bit of a Kansas baby boom but maybe just a reaction to boredom
  • A Milf-y, Newsie Conversation!!!

    The Star's Kraske to discuss KMBC sex-discrimination lawsuit on Up-to-date.

    Crazy Kansas City Bailout

    Kansas City will receive nearly $200,000 in federal funds over the next two years to expand its mental health court services . . .

    Kansas City's latest budget shortfall!!!

    Chris Hernandez is reporting a $9.3 million dollar shortfall that was supposed to be sent to the TIF commission to pay back developers for different tax breaks that had been granted. Of course, City Council Member Deb Hermann is blaming City Manager Wayne Cauthen but I'm pretty sure everybody is going to avoid taking any responsibility with the budget hot potato that's being passed along with great skill.

    Blogger Backtalk: A downpour of links



    Here's the very best of Kansas City bloggers that I'm reading right now:

  • The JoCo SOB questions the Mayor's failed graffiti program: "How many first responders could the city have hired instead . . .?"

  • Amazing found image from Posthuman Blues!!!

  • A review of a bland bar & grill from KC Lunch spots

  • Kansas Watch contemplates the Citi bailout.

  • A rather forthright, honest and insightful blog post regarding crime in Kansas City with no political agenda . . . It's actually kind of refreshing.

  • One last, great opinion about The Chiefs from F-Bombs.

  • And while all of these blog links are great . . . The don't add up to much without this damn fine photo gallery of Denise Milani.
  • Kansas City Crime Uncounted!!!

    Money quote from a syndicated column regarding local crime: "If you want your city to be considered safe, don't report your city's statistics to the FBI's Uniform Crime Report."

    Kansas City kinda cares

    Kansas City's About.com blog comes up with an important list of Holiday Volunteer Opportunities for a few of you kind souls who won't be spending the holidays sauced.

    120 Murders in Kansas City this year (so far)

    Alozno Washington continues to keep count . . . Sadly, because of the horrible economy and general apathy this ongoing massacre only dominates headlines from time to time.

    Kansas City Late Nite Contemplation



    Lots of stuff to think over tonight . . .

  • Half of all women don't belong on the Internets, far too few have nude pics.

  • Newsies gloating over Star layoff don't have a great sense of Karma or who small alt. mags are the next on the chopping block.

  • If the Chiefs lose their next game it'll start getting funny.

  • Bill Hicks remains relevant and eerily insightful regarding the upcoming Obama presidency - Brought to you by Bol.

  • Bikini and lingerie model Holly Webber is really hot.
  • Monday, November 24, 2008

    Kansas City Co-Mayor sighting: Mayor Funky in a daze and Gloria's black fur coat!!!



    Mayor Funky was out and about during the midday and his presence at the P&L District turned heads this afternoon.

    ONE OF THE MOST WELL-CONNECTED AND WELL-INFORMED TKC TIPSTERS spotted Mayor Funky and his wife at Ragland Road in the P&L District. They were accompanied by Chief of Staff Kendrick Blackwood and some other dude.

    Sadly, at first the party only consisted of the Chief of Staff and Co-mayor Squitiro which should reveal a lot about the influence she still holds in current Administration.

    The Mayor walked in a little while later . . .

    Unfortunately . . .

    WHAT THE MAYOR DIDN'T NOTICE IS THAT HE PASSED RIGHT BY TWO TOP RANKING ELECTED OFFICIALS ON THE STATE LEVEL WITHOUT EVEN NOTICING OR GREETING THEM!!!

    These are people who Mayor Funky is supposed to stay connected with for the benefit of Kansas City and he literally can't pick them out of a crowd. I guess lunch with his wife is more important than the business of this town but this kind of negligence is par for the course for Mayor Funky.

    For so long the Mayor has stood on "principle" for his bad decisions but with this latest bit of news I'm beginning to think that his reign in Kansas City is about nothing more than incompetence . . . Which actually explains quite a lot.

    It gets worse . . . A lot of people noticed that the Mayor's wife was wearing a big, black fur coat . . . Which is just something that the wife of an elected official doesn't do around this town. For somebody with such a high profile in the Mayor's Administration, Squitiro should know that kind of thing just sends the wrong message. If it's fake fur than it's just tacky and if it's real than the public display of elitism and the hypocrisy of the "regular folks" message is all too clear.

    Nevertheless . . . It's interesting to me that Mayor Funky and crew can't even have lunch without causing embarrassment and showing how out of touch and out of step they are with the rest of Kansas City.

    Good Morning Mayor Funky!!!

    Apparently, Good Morning America is soon to be running a feature on the Co-Mayors as they try to get national sympathy despite their own troubles at home.

    Kansas City Tanker Fire

    KMBC: One person was seriously burned in a tanker fire Monday afternoon.

    KC Star Columnist Mary Sanchez makes another stupid Malcolm X comparison



    Why can't somebody at The Star fire Mary Sanchez?

    Her contacts in the local Latino Community come out of the Yellow Pages and her writing gets worse every day.

    Recently, she wrote a silly blog post comparing Malcolm X to Obama or some such.

    Remember that this was the same kind of comparison that Gloria Squitiro made earlier this month.

    And that's the level of intellect that the KC Star is putting forth . . . Judging from her latest column Mary Sanchez has the same kind of perspective of a housewife who is in trouble for using racial slurs and used to go barefoot around City Hall all of the time.

    And then they wonder why they're losing readers . . .

    It would be embarrasing and lamentable if it weren't so funny.

    The comparison really couldn't be worse:

    Malcolm X was a controversial religious and civil rights leader with a criminal past who was assassinated.

    Obama is a politician, the President-elect and a guy who has come a long way by making white people feel good about themselves.

    If this kind of dumb comparison holds any merit than César Chávez and TKC are basically the same guy simply due to our shared ethnicity!!!



    Never mind that Chavez worked on a grassroots level and I hate leaving the house.

    TKC loves the free market and Chavez was kind of a commie.

    And Chavez is revered as a saint while my friends consist of mostly G.I. Joes.

    It's hard to believe that Mary Sanchez is writing opinion columns for a major metropolitan newspaper on the subject of race when she makes the stereotypical and ignorant mistake of confusing people of color who have nothing in common except for an obvious and somewhat backward grouping the mind of the author.

    Crappy KC Economic news of the day

    KC Biz Journal: Waddell & Reed offers early buyouts, may make further job cuts

    Finally, a "green" effort in Kansas City that will make things run more efficiently

    NBC Action News reports that the "Green Light Project" is moving forward nicely and the software is in place to synchronize stoplights across the Metro.

    Kansas City Afternoon Link Spread



    Here are just a few of the links I'm looking at this afternoon along with the usual array of bikini photos:

  • Huge Crowd Expected for old school, local function: Greater Kansas City Chamber of Commerce expects 1,800 at annual dinner

  • The only thing that's missing is light rail and people with money: Holiday season kicks off at Crown Center

  • Lake side loser locked up: Man In Custody In Connection With Fatal Shooting

  • One more local cat story as the TV news goes the way of blogs: KMBC reports that a bobcat was captured at Maplewood Elementary School Monday morning.

  • Judging by early photos from the Jakki Degg Calender . . . I think purchasing it might cost me too much time ogling.
  • There is nothing creative about Ink!!!



    One of the best, most alert and most refined TKC Tipsters recently sent me an image which proves that The Star is losing creativity along with workers.

    The text in the image basically reveals that The Star's new mag basically lifted one of their slogans from New York's Astor Center.

    It's not a horrible sin but don't think it wasn't intentional. The marketing people at The Star knew how to spin this one and signal to clueless Power & White denizens that certain parts of Kansas City (that racially profile minorities) are just like Manhattan . . . It's a notion that's horribly misleading and wrong but something that editors think might sell ads for dated information in newspapers anyway. Ugh.

    Plaza lighting bus schedule: Because saving energy on the way to see Kansas City burn millions of kilowatt hours makes sense!!!

    Let's Go KC has some great information about the bus schedule for the Plaza Lighting . . . Undoubtedly, taking the bus is a good way to avoid parking problems and traffic congestion but that's about it. Local environmentalists shouldn't get a warm and fuzzy feeling about saving the planet on this (ego) trip given the massive waste of energy in order illuminate the shopping district that was founded on discrimination.

    "Racism in the Kansas City Area"

    May's Machete hosts a memorable post regarding one of the themes of this blog and something that I'm obsessed with anyway . . . It's nice to get a personal perspective on the subject. A MUST READ.

    TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! NEWS THAT MAYOR FUNKY SOLD OUT SOMEBODY ELSE!!!



    Details of the upcoming EXCLUSIVE from Mayor Funky's former communications person are finding their way to TKC . . . Again, I wish I had this interview but the gossip will have to do.

    In order to keep the chatty people who are leaking the details safe . . . I have to be vague but most of the details, close political watchers already know.

    Apparently, Mayor Funky's penchant for hanging his people out to dry has come back to haunt him. Sadly, this is even worse than that fact that Mayor Funky's wife is now taking credit for all of the ideas of the campaign that clearly didn't belong to her.

    Remember . . .

    During the light rail campaign Mayor Funky played fast and loose with ethics regulations and earned yet another complaint filed against him.

    Part of that complaint involved the Mayor Funky's former communications person.

    Sadly, instead of standing up, like a man, for an employee . . . Mayor Funky left his employee out in the cold and employees from throughout the office were encouraged to say that they were participating in possibly unethical activity in support of light rail "on their lunch break."

    Never mind that a great many KICKASS TKC TIPSTERS (!!!) reported to readers of this blog that the Mayor's people were pushing this light rail thing throughout the day, using City equipment.

    Sadly, this isn't the first time Mayor Funky has possibly run afoul of local Missouri ethics rules.

    But the most important fact of this story is word that the Mayor left his own people holding the bag (nullus) and at a crossroads as to whether they would potentially lie and risk their own reputations or provide factual statements and face the wrath of Mayor Funky and his wife. On that note . . . This should be a fun-filled week of depositions.

    Still, Mayor Funky's betrayal of his own people isn't that surprising considering:

  • Mayor Funky betrayed promises that he would be "smart with the money" by ignoring infrastructure altogether and then pushing light rail.

  • Mayor Funky betrayed local Latino leaders who initially supported him.

  • He betrayed former staffers who didn't expect the use and defense of racial slurs in the Mayor's office.

  • Mayor Funky betrayed the people of Kansas City who, the the very least, deserve a Mayor who shows up to work.

    The list doesn't end there but the details of Mayor Funky's tenure so far might seem like a "love story" to those only focusing on his wife . . . While others looking at the saga might see a tragedy given all of the broken promises.
  • Mayor Funky ruins X-mas again!!!



    Apparently, the Mayor who is allegedly "smart with the money" can't fund his own X-mas tree.

    Funding for the Mayor's X-Mas Tree has been in decline ever since Mayor Funky took office along with several organizational problems.

    TKC Tipsters have informed readers about the turmoil surrounding the fund for quite some time. Check it:

  • Another Funky X-mas on the way!!!

  • Is Gloria Squitiro ruining X-mas in Kansas City once again?!?!?!

  • IT FEELS GOOD TO BE FIRST!!! TKC TIPSTERS NOTED KANSAS CITY X-MAS CHARITY MONEY CRUNCH LONG BEFORE BIG MEDIA!!!

    However, on the bright side I didn't read anywhere that the scumbag Chris Stigall was going to show up and help ruin X-mas. The booing last year because of his the conservative talker's presence was audible and both embarrasing and funny . . . In fact, the choice of Daily Show regular Rob Riggle was actually pretty inventive and should perpetuate the stereotype that big, white dudes stand with Mayro Funky despite all evidence to the contrary.



    Still, I'm a bit troubled by the rumor that people of Kansas City have stopped giving because of the Mayor's unpopularity.

    It's still a good cause despite the Mayor's CONSTANT screw-ups and the money goes to help people who desperately need it in this town . . . Never mind that Gloria Squitiro was famous for alienating people from helping with the fund or that the Mayor is suing the City or that the Mayor Funky doesn't both showing up to work on most days or the possibility that DR. SAUSAGE FINGERS might attend the event for some inappropriate holiday cheer . . . The Mayor's X-Mas Tree Fund is a great cause that's more important that Funkhouser's dour, stubborn and selfish personality that hopefully won't spoil the holiday for even more people.
  • Bill Snyder Comeback



    KMBC broke this story before the AP and The Star so I guess they deserve some credit:

    AP: KSU To Name Snyder As Head Coach

    And while I've always been a great fan of a comeback . . . I'm not sure that this news makes K-State any less of a horrible place.

    Kansas City Sunny Morning Link Layout



    Here are the newsy links I'm looking at on this sunny morning when it seems that a great many newsies have already taken off for the holidays. Strange:

  • Show Me more pouting: A bellwether no longer . . . And more excuses.

  • Teacher wants to stay in touch too badly: Ex-teacher admits violating restraining order

  • POLICE NEED HELP IN SCARY INDEPENDENCE SHOOTING!!!

  • Show Me the fight against scary ass germs . . . Hehe "ass germs." Anyhoo, a news report about a Missouri lab working to save lives was rather interesting.

  • Another troubled KC Property: 2 Investigations in 24 Hours at 1 Home

  • A Bobcat, an ATM and a bit of a disaster . . . Lack of planning and common sense thwart a metro area crook . . . Sorry to seem so judgmental like a news anchor but the mastermind behind this local crime story should seriously start thinking about another line of work.

  • Another young person will hopefully, one day start work on the highway: Student From Metro Named Rhodes Scholar

  • Over the weekend I discovered one more reason that animals deserve more sympathetic coverage than humans: Dog saves family from fire but loses his life

  • And yeah, Alexandra Adi is the best thing about this morning.
  • Kansas City Ablaze

    A bunch of fires around town this morning . . . Some of them arson, other unknown and I'm sure a few accidental. As the weather gets colder, Kansas City should remember that fire bugs and space heaters both want to kill you and destroy your home equally.

    This the way the newspaper ends: Hearne Christopher, Jr. becomes a blogger!!!

    Bottomline.com is reporting that Hearne is venturing toward the Internets . . . It's a good move and he obviously doesn't need the money so a pittance from Google Ads isn't going to be his primary concern . . . NO ADDRESS YET but stay tuned as one of the most popular writers from The Star may or may not prove that he no longer needs this town's paper or record.

    Blogger Backtalk: Seeing Red



    Most Kansas City Blog posts involve some kind of dissappointment with the Chiefs . . . Or just life in general. Here are just a few of my favorites:

  • 5 Percent: I, Shane puts the Chiefs miserable play in perfect perspective.

  • The KC Blue Blog laments a different kind of fail other than Republican.

  • Rather than think about the Chiefs, I enjoyed Scooter's recounting of barhopping South of Kansas City.

  • Mtoast (the greatest of all KC Bloggers) talks turkey and makes some fantastic recommendations!!!

  • Buy Merchandise to support Missouri cycling . . . It's a great way to still look teh ghey when winter weather doesn't allow banana hammock biker shorts.

  • Despite the fact that it's a defense of Mayor Funky, I thought a recent criticism of KC Star columnist Abouhalkah was insightful. Money line: "Funkhouser wasn't perfect to begin with, and he's not a monster now." Something to think about . . . Despite the fact that criticism of the Mayor's current course of action are valid and coming from an increasing number of people around this town.

  • Olga Kurylenko in Maxim is the best way to start the morning.
  • Gloria Squitiro is no Michelle Obama

    Nick Sloan expertly takes apart the Mayor's flimsy argument that his wife has anything to do with Michelle Obama: "But Will Barack Work From Home?"

    New Blog: Four Magic Words

    Damn it . . . Blogrolling still isn't working so my sidebar links aren't the newest latest . . . But I'm still discovering a lot of great local blogs like FOUR MAGIC WORDS that are worth checking out . . . Do yourself a favor and give this Kansas conservative blogger a read while I wait for an important bloggy service to get their act together.

    KANSAS CITY'S SECOND BLACK QUARTERBACK!!!



    It's not really a milestone and it went unmentioned by the rest of the media but I thought Quinn Gray's touchdown drive was a big deal.

    Of course, the performance of the Chiefs was abysmal, of course they are a hopeless team and this season has been wasted. Herm is soon to get the ax and die hard fans are calling for King Carl's head every day . . . However, I was impressed to see Quinn Gray lead the team down the field for a touchdown in the final moments of the game.

    KC media didn't make a big deal of Gray's performance the way that they celebrated Tyler "glorified backup" Thigpen but that's probably because most of the Bills were in the locker room during the fourth quarter while almost all of the fans had already left. Thigpen's constant turnovers and incompetent leadership didn't stand out enough to merit criticism given that the defense didn't show up to play and I think I saw a few of them sitting on lawn chairs in the unseasonably nice Fall weather.

    I'm not sure but I believe that Warren Moon was Kansas City's first Black Quarterback during the 90's . . . So, sadly, there isn't even really a racial angle to play up here other than Kansas City Chiefs of all races and creeds suck equally.

    Nevertheless, I was still happy to see a Black guy take the helm despite the fact that it didn't make a difference and the home team was still well on its way to defeat and despair despite the continual hope for change and new leadership. Kinda sounds familiar.

    Old Hyde Park catfight is a great example of Kansas City neighborhood politics gone bad



    In October one of the best all-time TKC Tipsters gave me a bit of advice about a neighborhood catfight in Old Hyde Park.

    I had no idea it was so nasty.

    I posted a few vague details regarding rumors of the fight along with a ton of other stuff that day . . . I've since moved on to other things I find more interesting but the posts regarding the KC Enclave have strangely been the most commented thing on this blog.

    Check it:

    HISTORIC OLD HYDE PARK FIGHT!!! - 1430 Comments

    The most popular TKC post is awash in meanness!!! Old Hyde Park Fight is a great reason never to get involved in Kansas City Neighborhood Politics!!! - 334 Comments

    As much as I want to encourage discussion about all things Kansas City and help facilitate an open dialogue . . . Bandwidth costs were cutting running up and the value of the comments didn't seem like something that I wanted to pay for.

    This isn't censorship, this is a personal choice.

    There are a lot of other free venues to discuss this lame catfight.

    People seriously looking for Old Hyde Park Content should feel free to:

  • Start a blog of their own.

  • Start an Internet Chatroom.

  • Get a life.

    These comments show up in my e-mail box everyday and for the most part they look like nothing more than spam. I seriously doubt the comments are of any interest to anyone other than a few neighborhood people and, frankly, I think they're kind of mean and they won't be missed on this blog. However, I'm all for free speech and if this small group of dedicated people start a blog . . . I'd be happy to link it. Ugh.

    Currently, The Westside doesn't have a neighborhood association and from what I've seen of the Old Hyde Park people . . . I now understand why a few neighbors hesitate to start one . . . It really seems like an invitation to needless, meaningless and petty arguements.

    I hate sounding like an old lady on this one . . . But shame on all of you Old Hyde Park people for setting such a bad example when it comes to neighborhood activism in Kansas City.

    The comments on this post will only be open for two days (or shorter if I feel like it or see spam) . . . And then I'm done with it. TKC wants to show interest in all parts of the greater metropolitan area . . . But I really do hate spammers and I hate the thought that the whatever lame fight is taking place in Old Hyde Park represents some valid reasons why more people in this town don't become involved in their community.
  • Blogging from the bottom up in Kansas City



    The week leading up to a holiday is always exciting in Kansas City because there's a limited amount of time to get a bit of revenge or smack somebody in public; therefore things get done in a hurry. I'm looking forward watching a bit of maneuvering and tap dancing from local politicos in the days leading up to Thanksgiving.

    There's already a bit of good news via the local blogosphere . . . Because of the complaining of Internet denizens and a small spotlight from TKC, a Star blog flip-flopped on their recent policy of hiding reader comments on one of their lame offerings. It's not exactly water into wine but a nice change from the typical media model in which the dead tree media makes demands from readers.

    So, already this week there has been a bit of "change" to justify the gully spirit of the local blogosphere and reaffirm that the users now have the power in the digital age . . . Or something.

    Stay tuned for more . . . Enjoy a bikini gallery of Donna Feldman on the floor in the meantime.

    Saturday, November 22, 2008

    The TKC Saturday Night Playlist!!! Kansas City Violence is cutting this town to pieces!!!



    As of today there have been 119 murders in Kansas City so far this year.

    The latest homicide involves a grizzly case in which some guy was stabbed to death in his home.

    The archives of local blog RDM chronicle Kansas City's strange affection with the so-called "love knife" and other metro stabbings in vivid detail.



    I've always thought that stabbing somebody was the most personal of all acts of violence because it requires the perpetrator to get really close in order to do the job. I don't know the numbers but it seems like there are an inordinate amount of deadly stabbings in this cowtown which provides a bit of perspective regarding the way that Kansas City is killing itself. Put simply . . .

    It's personal.



    That's probably a broad generalization but currently, thankfully this city isn't in the middle of a drug or gang war yet the murder rate only seems to rise. Murder victims are almost always poor but this year there has been a far more noticeable variety between among Black, white, Latino and victims from almost nearly every demographic.

    Sadly, there are only few people out there who are capable of dealing with this problem or willing. One of the main benefits of the office of Mayor is the ability to use the bully pulpit to advocate for important causes and so far Mayor Funky has only used this power to defend his wife or promote a failed light rail scheme. There is no arguing that Mayor Funky has proven to be weak on crime and completely unable to provide any leadership; without question Alvin Brooks would have been better on the topic of local violence. Currently, Kansas City is stuck with a Mayor that has already cut police funds, failed to deliver on promises to put more cops on the street and is presiding over the current budget crisis that could CUT EVEN MORE POLICE FUNDING.

    But here we are, at the end of the year as murder rate continues to spike and most people in Kansas City are doing their best to ignore the subject of violence.

    These facts have inspired tonight's list of songs:

  • Psycho Killer - Talking Heads
  • Killing in the name - Rage Against the Machine
  • How I could just kill a man - Cypress Hill
  • Angry Johnny - Poe
  • Killing Me Softly - The Fugees
  • I used to love her - Guns and Roses
  • Goodbye Earl - Dixie Chicks
  • Getting away with murder - Papa Roach
  • Murder by Numbers - The Police
  • Mack the Knife - Bobby Darin



    Yes, yes I know I've used a few of these songs before but (unfortunately) violence and murder are a recurring theme in this murderous cowtown. So be careful out there.

    As always, thank you for reading. Have a safe and fun weekend.
  • KANSAS CITY HATES FAT CHICKS!!!



    MyFoxKC: Kansas City Ranks in Top 5 for Girls with Low Self-Esteem

    It certainly is a cruel town that we live in, where young women are judged by their looks and social standing rather than their inherent value as a human being.

    The information contained in a Fox 4 story regarding low self-esteem and young ladies should inspire TKC readers to hug their daughters, tell them that they are unconditionally loved . . . And then quietly whisper to them that they should think about losing weight and making an extra effort to be more agreeable so that one day other people might feel the same.

    The Star's "Midwest Voices" doesn't care what their readers think!!!

    Part of writing a blog is opening up yourself (ew!!!) to the possibility that somebody might come along and completely school you in the comments. Sure, the dumb jokes or nasty remarks are hard for somebody with very thin skin but by far a great many bloggers fear that a thoughtful person, who is much smarter will turn up and take apart their statements, arguments and thoughts piece by piece. That kind of thing happens every day on this blog but I have trained myself to ignore whatever it is that you d-bags think. Sadly, The Star isn't as "evolved" (heh) as TKC given that one of their blogs is pretty much hiding comments from readers. It's a dumb strategy, it doesn't encourage user participation and in the end it simply confirms that The Star doesn't know what it's doing when it comes to the Internets . . . Which is yet another part of their overall FAIL. <-- See, internet lingo, I'm awesome!!!

    New (to me) blog: Mirror Images of Myself

    This bloggy offering from Caroline is just fantastic and I'm going to start making it one of my regular reads!!!

    Saturday Kansas City Link Roundup



    Here is a collection of Kansas City news links that I'm sharing so that I can look at one of my favorite photos of Jessica Alba.

  • A pretty strong worded letter to "recall the Funk" thankfully comes from outside the blogosphere . . . For a change.

  • Give the cops a brake: Police Car Hit on I-435 while Investigating Another Crash

  • Crime Scene KC links "Sex Contracts" story and THAT is why it's the best (and most popular) of all the Star's blog offerings.

  • KCTV5 caught kinda making up the news

  • Armed Man Robs Kansas City Auto Store

  • More po'folk in the Golden Ghetto than ever before: Johnson County Families Need Your Help

  • Not quite a Kansas City ghey rally but close: Kansas City's Hottest Designers at the Rock N Fashion Show

  • KCK Video Controversy turns out to be nothing: WyCo Commissioners Cleared In Video Flap

  • Tis the season: Both Fires and Foreclosures are pushing local families out into the cold . . . But this link documents a fire.

  • A NEW OFFENSE FOR THE CHIEFS SHOULD MAKE THEIR NEXT LOSS EVEN MORE EXCITING!!!
  • Best local blogger post of the day

    Nick Sloan is always informative and interesting but today this local blogger just cracked me up with not one, but TWO money lines in one post.

    Kickass KCI Neighborhood Photo

    Filegirl finds the best view of the Kansas City sky today

    More proof: Kansas City's Mayor is ANYTHING but "smart with the money"



    While Kansas City's Mayor is currently costing this city tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees he's also now promising to give away even more tax money on behalf of attractions that have failed to spark economic growth, attract a decent crowd or even come close to supporting themselves:

    Mayor Mark Funkhouser said Friday that he could support a property tax increase to help Union Station and other museums in the city.

    Mayor Funky has shown almost zero leadership in the metro area, he is dour, aloof and uninspiring . . . And now he is working to betray the last bit of fiscally conservative credentials that folks alleged he had as City Auditor.

    Very much like tearing away layers of an onion . . . Peeling away Mayor Funky's reputation by examining his actions reveals, in the end, that there's nothing there.

    Depressing Dillard's Captures Kansas City's Economic Downturn Perfectly!!!



    I needed a new baseball cap because my last one was starting to smell like black mold and cheese. For some reason I found myself at Target in Ward Parkway buying motor oil, a gallon jug of anti-bacterial soap and condoms . . . I had some spare time so I decided to check out the stagnant Kansas City Mall that has been barely clinging to life for the past 10 years. Yes, yes there are folks who point to a resurgence of the place but I contend that Kansas City is the only town in the world where a Staples office supply store and a Chick-fil-A are trumpeted as a renaissance.

    Anyhoo . . . I walked to the end of the mall passing a few elderly people and security guards doing nothing only to re-discover that Dillard's was having a huge closeout sale during its conversion to an outlet store.

    Looking around in the men's section I noticed only a lot of polo shirts and other fancy clothing that would have never matched the rest of my dingy wardrobe but luckily I did stumble upon some hats marked down more than 70%. I found one that I could live with and was pleased when the tired, old white woman rang up the price at less than five dollars.

    Leaving the place was kind of depressing (NO EMO!!!) because this is the same shopping mall that was formerly a beacon of capitalism and privilege to me as a child. I pestered my parents for expensive sweaters from this place, I worked crappy jobs to buy nice jeans that I was never able to get at the discount stores that I was more accustomed to frequenting . . . And now all that's left over are racks full of unwanted merchandise picked over by bargain shoppers looking to add to their wardrobe on the cheap. It made me feel silly that, when I was younger, I attached a value (other than price) to the merchandise available at the place. Now that serious economic decline has fallen upon Kansas City, the U.S. and the rest of the world . . . It's clear to me now that it's all just a bunch of stuff.

    And that's how, as an adult, I've grown to look at Kansas City. So many people have illusions about this town and the City they imagine but in the end it's all just a collection of people, roads, houses, buildings and dirt . . . Most of which is somehow in disrepair or slightly broken. And walking out of the store into the surprisingly warm air I realized that it wasn't necessarily a depressing thought but a liberating realization regarding the various ways each individual mistakenly views Kansas City.

    Somehow, I still think it's racist!!! Allegedly "wild" African Cat Killed in the Northland!!!



    I'm an idiot and while I don't want to see anyone's face clawed off . . . It's kind of cool to live in a place where such a diversity of wildlife exists . . . Until it's killed off to keep suburbanites safe, of course.

    Check it:

  • Wild African cat roamed Northland before being killed

  • An exotic African cat roaming a Kansas City neighborhood has been shot and killed by police.

    Update: And now while I'm re-reading this post I realize that it's pretty standard hackneyed humor from this blog despite my attempts to do better . . . But you'll have to forgive me because I have (yet another) chip on my shoulder ever since even more Mexican Killer Bees have now become "Africanized."
  • JOCO JOHN AND HOOKER EXTRAVAGANZA!!!

    KMBC reminds us that life in the Golden Ghetto is just as nasty as anywhere else: A prostitution sting at a motel in Merriam, Kan., landed 12 people in custody early Friday morning, police said.

    Kansas City Foreclosed

    Sadly, this "City that works" is filled with even more vacant houses thanks to the economic downturn . . . Never mind that vacant houses was an issue that Mayor Funky promised to work on more than two years ago.

    "Kansas City's Mayoral Mess on Display for Nation to Read"

    Thinking about it for a bit . . . The WSJ article was worse than anyone in this town thinks because it provides a trouble first impression of this town . . . Obviously, nothing WSJ could write would be as nasty, one-sided or mean as TKC . . . But overall, the huge points regarding KC's embarrassment were intact. Only the fun details were left out like "Dr. Sausage Fingers" and tales of barefoot City Hall prancing. But that kind of thing is exactly what blogs are for . . .

    Blogger Backtalk: Advice Edition



    Some great posts from some of my favorite local bloggers:

  • MUST READ: "Black Friday Public Service Announcement"

  • May's Machete provides a look at breakfast food I wouldn't eat on a dare: My Liquid Breakfast

  • Sage Advice from Kansas Watch: We Should Not Love Things That Can't Love Us Back--Like the KC Chiefs

  • Interesting: All things I,Shane

  • Crime Scene KC ask a sad question on the two year anniversary yesterday: Where is Jesse Ross?
  • Shooting starts another KC Weekend

    NBC Action News publishes a slew of local violent news: KC Police Investigate 2 Shootings . . . 71 Highway Shut Down after Shooting . . . Man Killed in Shooting at 63rd and Winchester

    Not the one with the lame CD: "David Cook Missing, Family Concerned"

    From MyfoxKC: "David Cook, 55, who works for KCP&L hasn't been seen for days. And, police just don't know how to start looking for him."

    Local teacher (alleged) drunk fight

    An elementary school teacher arrested on suspicion of drunken driving near school grounds is planning to fight the district's plan to fire her.

    Kansas City Football Stays Losing

    Chiefs Tickets on sale for Under $10 . . . Remember not so long ago when advocates of the Stadium Tax claimed that pro-sports sparks the local economy?

    Saturday Link Layout



    Here's some of the best links that I'm looking at this morning:

  • The great car crash near Kansas City Continues: GM Fairfax Plant To Extend Holiday Shutdown

  • Forgiveness, stupidity and media coverage in the suburbs: 3 Sentenced in Construction Site Crime Spree. Which leads us to: Owner Shows Compassion Toward Vandals

  • Fierce family fight: Family Shaken After Teen Shots Step-Dad to Save Mom

  • Sponsored content tastes delicious: Broadway Cafe Is Ketz's KC Favorite

  • Crime Scene KC reminds us all to buckle up: KCPD to do "Click It Or Ticket" on Wednesday

  • Harsh times all around here: Layoffs rise in Missouri, Kansas

  • Olathe Meter Reader Reports Attempted Assault

  • Panic over public transit seems silly in retrospect: Metro Gas Drops Below $1.38

  • Kelly Brook Bikini photos just to get the day started right.
  • Friday, November 21, 2008

    FUNKY MEMO CONFIRMS WORST FEARS ABOUT THE P&L DISTRICT!!!



    A memo out of Mayor Funky's office this morning reconfigured KC's TIF shortfall to almost $4 million a year.

    News of this was forecast earlier this month . . . BUT NOW IT'S OFFICIAL FROM THE BUDGET OFFICE AND THE MAYOR!!! A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO TKC TIPSTERS WHO SENT THE CONFIRMATION THIS WAY!!!

    THE HORRIBLE SHORTFALL IS ALL THANKS TO ELECTRIC AVENUE, SO I'M HOPING EVERYBODY IN KANSAS CITY HAD A GREAT TIME PAYING FOR JOCO ENTERTAINMENT ALONG WITH RACIAL PROFILING!!!

    The bill is just about to come due.

    The fallout has already started with the Public Improvements Advisory Committee:

    PIAC IS CUTTING $23 MILLION WORTH OF PLANNED PROJECTS AS THE PRETENTIOUS & LAME DISTRICT PROVES TO BE AN ALBATROSS AROUND THE NECK OF KANSAS CITY!!!

    TKC GROUNDBREAKING EXCLUSIVE!!! KANSAS CITY'S FINANCIAL CRISIS WILL RAISE THE EARNINGS TAX!!!



    What is bad news for Kansas City taxpayers ultimately confirms the EXCLUSIVE and AWESOME informative power of this blog. Sorry.

    KANSAS CITY FINANCIAL SOURCES AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL HAVE CONFIRMED THAT KANSAS CITY WILL RAISE THE E-TAX IN ORDER TO MEET THE CURRENT BUDGET SHORTFALL!!!

    TKC has been months ahead of all media in reporting this news that will greatly impact nearly everyone in the local area.

    Personally, I'm in favor of the tax increase first and foremost because it is a progressive tax which increases as the taxable amount of an individual increases. Put simply, it's the only way to make sure that rich people pay their fair share and simply don't pass the tax burden down to po'folk like a sales tax or even higher property taxes.

    THE PLAN TO RAISE THE E-TAX A MERE QUARTER POINT COULD RAISE BETWEEN $80 AND 100 MILLION!!!

    Also, the E-tax hike will pass the burden along to JoCo interlopers working in KC Proper who use Kansas City Services but don't pay for them.

    Finally, there is simply no way that Kansas City could sustain a massive cut to services that would be required by laying off scores of City Hall workers. Already, the trash isn't getting picked up in this town, there is no money for codes enforcement and Kansas City desperately needs more police . . . Cutting even more services would be not only irresponsible but a merciless strike against Kansas City's infrastructure. I'm so sorry that I'm the person who has to inform Kansas City that an inevitable E-tax increase is on the way.

    There is simply no avoiding it and Mayor Funky's petulant protestations won't help solve the problem of the budget crisis as he remains unable to build anything resembling a consensus and would rather cast blame and once again avoid taking personal responsibility.

    The E-Tax increase is coming. TKC told everybody first. Natch.

    Previous (Awesome) reporting:

  • TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! IN THE MIDDLE OF ECONOMIC COLLAPSE, KANSAS CITY WILL RAISE THE E-TAX!!!

  • Kansas City's e-tax opportunity!!!

  • TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! The only way out of the budget crunch is to RAISE KANSAS CITY'S EARNINGS TAX forcing suburbanites and the rich to pay their share!!!
  • WALL STREET JOURNAL COVERS KANSAS CITY CO-MAYORS TODAY!!!



    Kansas City's Sad Situation on display for the entire nation to enjoy courtesy of the Wall Street Journal:

    "Kansas City Gives Mayor's Helpmate the Heave-Ho From City Hall"

    It's what just about everybody in this town is going to be reading today.

    Update: I just finished reading it and I'm very comforted by the fact that my blog is much more interesting. Sadly . . . The rest of the nation must turn to TKC (hehe) in order to be constantly reminded of the bare feet of Gloria Squitiro or read the phrase "Dr. Sausage Fingers"

    THE CO-MAYORS ARE DEADBEATS!!!



    I was thinking about this one earlier and I quickly recognize my own kind so it seems clear to me now that . . .

    MAYOR FUNKY AND CO-MAYOR SQUITIRO ARE THE BIGGEST DEADBEATS IN ALL OF KANSAS CITY!!!

    Full Disclosure: I live in my mom's basement, so it's clear I'm no Dave Ramsey. But then again I never told hundreds of thousands of people that I was going to be "smart with the money" while my own personal finances were in shambles.

    Accordingly, here are my logical, factual and stirring arguements which clearly demonstrate that the co-mayors are the worst kind of deadbeats:

  • Thanks to tipsters, TKC was the first to report that the Mayor & his wife have refinanced their house 14 different times since 1996.

  • It was recently revealed that, before the offer of settlement, Gloria Squitiro's insurance companies SPENT $200,000 ON LEGAL FEES!!! She still didn't want to settle but wasn't able to fight WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY any longer.

  • Mayor Funky is in the same predicament as his wife. He's out of cash to give to his lawyer but still vows to fight to the bitter end WITH THE MONEY OF KANSAS CITY TAXPAYERS!!!

  • During the attempt to fire the City Manager, the Volunteer Ordinance and several other squabbles . . . THE MAYOR IS QUICK TO SUE BECAUSE HE CAN'T COMPROMISE!!! That's the just the sign of the kind of person that most people avoid in every day situations . . . A guy who constantly cites "principal" while simply looking for a payoff.

  • And let's not forget the light rail scheme when Mayor Funky refused to face the financial reality of the current recession and pushed a fiscally irresponsible plan that was overwhelmingly rejected by voters.

    They say it takes one to know one and in this case I am completely certain that the Co-Mayors are without a clue when it comes to money.

    Even worse, the economic hypocrisy of the Co-Mayors when it comes to bold proclamations regarding City Finances in light of their own financial turmoil reveals a frightening dishonesty that has marked Mayor Funky's tenure so far.

    In his own house and now in a taxpayer funded legal defense Mayor Funky has shown a complete lack of personal responsibility in his financial dealings and sadly Kansas City is now being forced to pay the price.
  • Missouri and Kansas can choke on it



    Missouri, Kansas rank among 'dirty dozen' states with coal-powered plants

    No homo on the phallic nature of the headline and image used in this post but just a bit of subtext is appropriate concerning how energy companies in this region are ramming it home and dumping their byproducts on the heads of anyone nearby.

    Can anyone beat Heinz?!?!



    This is probably the most unimportant link of the day but it gives me a chance to repost one of my favorite photos.

    Apparently, the race is on for Mayor of Edwardsville!!! (Ugh)

    Here's the latest from The Kansas City Kansan:
    On Tuesday, former Edwardsville Mayor Stephanie Eickhoff informed the Kansas City Kansan she has filed to seek her old position next spring.

    “I did this at the urging of many residents and the blessings of my family,” Eickhoff told the Kansan.

    Mayor William "Heinz" Rodgers currently holds the seat, and as of Tuesday he had not filed, but said he is "strongly considering" it.
    I'm really hoping that "Heinz" will run not only because I like his name but also because I admire any local politico with the audacity to speak at a local press conference regarding guns and death while wearing shorts and sandals . . . Everybody in the crowd knew it was a worthless PR event but only "Heinz" had the courage to dress the part at the speaker's podium.

    Kansas City Council Lady Invents Politically Charged Term: "Predatory Towing!!!"



    Nobody reads the news more than politicians and it's clear that Council Lady Cindy Circo knows how to work the press . . . Which isn't a horrible thing.

    In fact, her recent stance against Downtown towing horror stories is pretty smart and will only offend people who operate unscrupulous tow truck companies . . . And that doesn't matter much because that subspecies doesn't vote and usually retreats underground after their work is done.
    Prompted by a rash of complaints about towing of parked cars downtown, Kansas City Councilwoman Cindy Circo introduced an ordinance Thursday to impose new regulations.

    “This has been a real issue for our citizens,” Circo said as she told her council colleagues about her proposal to combat predatory towing practices.
    "Bad things are wrong." It's a tried and true strategy among politicos who want to get ahead . . . And if I get to double park while yelling at anyone who makes eye contact with me . . . DOUBLE BONUS!!!

    Songs about Kansas City

    Local blogger Lukas writes great essay which includes a number of songs about this town.

    KC Tribune: Airick L. West Interview

    An informative chat with the only current Kansas City School Board Member who seems to be trying.

    When local family drama makes the news



    This headline comes from the good people of Grandview who thankfully prove that family dysfunction does not solely belong to urban areas:

    Father Accused Of Attacking Family Over Unplugged Cord

    This sad story from KCTV5 is also dedicated to all the chubby white women with daddy issues who have been kind enough to "date" TKC . . . Ultimately, somebody has to benefit when women still want to make their fathers angry.

    The best part of the current recession: Local government forced to cut back

    The Star reports on a gloomy Jackson County budget meeting that promises layoffs if the economy isn't better next year.

    On a personal note: Tony's tias soon to start showing him a lot more respect!!!

    Jackson County jury acquits homeless man accused in 2006 stabbing of aunt . . . My Spanish speaking readers get this joke, the rest of you can use Babelfish if you'd like.

    Surprise!!! Kline operated only on faith and no evidence as Kansas Attorney General!!!

    From the AP: Kline had no complaint before beginning abortion investigation, memo shows

    Let's all put on a happy face for Friday Kansas City Newsy Links!!!



    Here's what I'm reading this morning as I hope it warms up a bit from the overnight deep freeze:

  • Kansas City Payback: Man Carjacks Rental Vehicle; Gets Bit By Dog

  • News for people really concerned about looking at flowers: The Swope Park greenhouse won't have a poinsettia display this year, instead take a look at Powell Gardens.

  • OP Police Search For Missing Girl, 17

  • More details on the Kansas City budget battle that's ahead

  • FOX 4 Winter Weather Predictions . . . It's going to be cold

  • Special Tribute For 6 KC Firefighters Killed . . . A tragic story and even more depressing than people sitting in jail for crimes they didn't commit.

  • KC man found guilty of shooting police officer

  • JoCo will be keeping good track of you turkeys: JoCo Sheriff plans extra traffic enforcement over Thanksgiving

  • Kansas City History: The Two Oldest African American Congregations in Kansas City

  • Pet Shelter Robbery!!! Much more important that all of the people in this town who are jacked or at least much cuter!!!

  • Kansas City's glory involves a TV movie made a quarter century ago: 25 Years Later, Remembering 'The Day After'

  • One more Water Department complaint that will go unresolved!!!

  • Kansas City still somewhat charitable: The United Way of Greater Kansas City announced Thursday it surpassed its fundraising goal of $40.5 million by less than $30,000.

  • Shoshanna Lonstein looks unenthusiastic in some recent bikini pictures as if she knows what kind of jerks (like TKC) will be gawking at her on the Internets.
  • Logtar writes one of the best essays on Internet friendships I've ever read

    Whenever I tackle the subject I always cite uses and gratifications theory but tired old Comm. Studies references aren't nearly as artful as a great laptop analogy. Money line from Logtar's must read essay:
    "In my need to make connections with others I became a laptop with no firewall, and in today’s world of viruses I cannot afford that kind of vulnerability. Some people might not even realize how infected they are by fear, intolerance, or just plain ignorance and before you know it they have full access to your hard drive."
    Logtar, once again, shows remarkable insight and provides a reminder to me that TKC micro blogger meetups and always a much way to go. And, I really hate bars.

    Kansas GOP Purge

    Hendricks finally writes a great column, about is own part of town for a change . . . Kobach soon to be fired i.e. Latinos won the election "Sí, se puede!" Actually, this only represents more political maneuvering, if the Latinos really won . . . Kobach would be replaced with a guy named Juan who could perform the same job for 75% less money.

    Frightening headless, handless body identified way past Halloween

    Tragically it was discovered that the corpse, which was also set on fire, belongs to a local missing man . . . Yeah, the metro area is scary like that.

    Blogger Backtalk: I like your blog!!!



    Here's just a collection of local bloggy stuff I'm looking at:

  • Earlier this week The Star announced that they're looking for more community writers . . . A special shoutout to KC Meesha who manages to recommend every blog in the metro area except for TKC!!! Double Bonus: He even updated and added two Black guys to ease his conscience!!! I never said I was the most beloved blogger in Kansas City, just one of the best. Still, there's no hard feelings here (no homo) . . . KC Meesha not only hangs out with more 30-something local bloggers at trendy local venues than I ever would want to will but he has also proclaimed that he's much more handsome than TKC!!! No argument here, TKC has been beaten in the Kansas City blogosphere once again . . . Thankfully, in the real world that doesn't really matter much.

  • I know the Pitch music blog covered this earlier in the week but Stereogum provides a bunch of video clips of a Kansas City reunion of The Get Up Kids . . . Young, white, Kansas City hipsters reading local blogs today . . . You're welcome.

  • Facebook and local Faith from AJ . . . Don't forget to sign up for the group if that kind of thing is your bag, baby.

  • The absolute best local Mommy blogger post of the day!!!

  • The KC Guy provides important information as to how a Kansas City resident can get greasy food from a faux Irish bar.

  • KC's about.com blog notices that Hoopz is covering the Northland!!!
  • Thank you, Come Again!!!

    Bottomline Communications: Star Sending Jobs to India

    RDM takes on TP coverage

    RDM provides some excellent detail in his recent post related to local money saving tips where it matters most . . . If the economy is really this far in the crapper, we're all doomed.

    Life sentance with no parole for Precious Doe killer thanks to Alonzo Washington

    A recent headline from CNN cites the work of Mr. Washington while so many Kansas City media outlets cut their coverage short and leave their readers misinformed.

    Special thanks to Tipster K for the link!!!

    Looking forward to a fun local Friday



    I was thinking about it and this is the last weekend before we're officially in the "holiday season." This is important because that so-called festive time of year usually brings the stress level in this city to a boiling point. As always, check out Kansas City's about.com blog for hints on what to do in this town this weekend and throughout the rest of the year . . . Also check out the Event Driver for tons of info on local music shows. I'm actually looking forward to a nice weekend and I've already got a few fun and interesting plans lined up for Friday . . . Which almost never happens to me.

    What's interesting about Kansas City (and maybe the Midwest in general) is that a lot of people come home for the holidays and yet there isn't a lot of fun to be had . . . Especially in this recession/depression. In other parts of the nation the holidays are a time for heavy drinking but as part of the Bible belt I've always felt this town wasn't nearly as liquored up as need be . . . Which is probably a good thing as far as traffic fatalities are concerned. In my family, the holidays are always a time to promote personal and professional achievements for the adults . . . Naturally, because I live in a basement . . . This has never been a tradition I've admired. However, this year's economy will allow me the opportunity to laugh at the misery of close friends and family on that front. So I'm actually looking forward to the experience.

    Anyhoo . . . That's not to say that I don't understand the stressful nature of the season. Although it's cold the homicides remain steady until after New Year's Eve and there aren't many people in the local blogosphere who seem as giddy as usual . . . Which, again is nice for me too.

    Soooooo . . . Enjoy this weekend before the holiday mess is upon us and either your misery or excitement become a total cliché.

    Thursday, November 20, 2008

    Kansas City's Financial Crisis



    A great story from Channel 9 which demonstrates the desperation of this town when it comes to cash:

    Councilwoman: KC Faces $80M Budget Crisis

    Not to fear, the dude we elected to be "smart with the money" is busy tackling the problem at his Brookside residence as he works desperately on a lawsuit to get his wife back at City Hall and by his side . . . Wait . . . Okay, maybe we should be a little worried.

    Bravo, The Star picks up the "blonde bimbo" story that started on the Internets and was reported by TKC yesterday

    Actually, Lynn over at Prime Buzz provides and excellent write up . . . Sadly, she doesn't post a photo of a blonde which is what I did yesterday . . . But won't today. Consider it solidarity with all of the bimbos that I love so much.

    The Star cuts more jobs and outsources

    The KC Biz Journal reports: The Kansas City Star will lay off 10 employees in its accounting division sometime in February and outsource the jobs . . . So much for the "hometown feel" of our last daily local newspaper that's increasingly produced overseas.

    Times are getting really harsh when there is a meth problem on The Plaza



    All right, I've had just about enough of this recession that's slowly turning into a depression . . . Especially when it's clearly starting to affect that character of this town. I can handle economic decline, especially because I live in a basement, but I what I hate most is change.

    Check out a recent story that highlights a devastating change to perceptions about luxury living on The Plaza . . . Apparently there are/ meth labs in and around the exclusive location.
    Two Kansas City men pleaded guilty in federal court on Thursday to manufacturing and distributing methamphetamine which resulted in the gruesome death of a Liberty woman . . . The defendants admitted that while attempting to manufacture meth in their Plaza apartment they placed toxic and dangerous chemicals in unmarked containers in their kitchen.
    Scary and unacceptable . . . Stereotypes contend that Meth is a drug for trailer parks and nastier parts of urban centers. The fact that it's showing up in posh midtown locations and causing deadly circumstances is a frightening reminder that even the rich are now forced to resort to dirty discount drugs that not only destroy neighborhoods but also teeth.

    $30 Million for Soccer in Kansas City

    Down the Byline (Kansas City's best soccer blog) reports: Today the Missouri Finance Board has approved the $30 million tax credit for Lane4 and OnGoal for the Three Trails development at the old Bannister Mall site. According to the blog they're soon to start demolition of the old mall (not a bad thing at all) and this town takes a HUGE gamble that soccer fans can spark economic renewal.

    Hip Hop and Entrepreneurship Report

    Don't overlook Happy in Bag's EXCLUSIVE report.

    TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! KANSAS CITY'S MAYOR DAMAGED BY ANOTHER DEPOSITION!!!



    Very smart people in this town have noted time and again that these depositions in the Mammy-Gate trail are taking a tremendous toll on Mayor Funky.

    Passages in an upcoming deposition soon to be reported by the local media are no less damaging.

    Today Joe Miller, former Director of Communications will be deposed . . . But word of what another former Funky Employee said is already starting to further sway opinion against the Mayor.

    The lady the Mayor's wife once referred to as "Bernie Mac" confirmed a lot of the worst stories of the Funky administration this week.



    The most damaging testimony that will soon be part of the public record is:

    MAYOR FUNKY TOLD THE STAFFERS IN HIS OFFICE THAT GLORIA BASICALLY SPOKE FOR HIM AS WELL!!!

    Mayor Funky said this in response to a great deal of confusion in the early days of of his administration as to how staffers should deal with the so-called "first lady" who was known as a "volunteer" back then. In any event, the message was clear and now it's coming back to do a great deal of damage to the Mayor's case along with his claims that nepotism was not a part of his office.

    Developing . . .

    KC couldn't care less about the Chiefs



    An ominous headline from The Star points out something the close watchers of their TV games have known since midway through the season: "Chiefs are losing games — and fans"

    Facts:

  • The team has lost 19 out of the last 20 games.

  • LJ has been ruined like one of the many broads he has allegedly slapped.

  • 1-9

  • Media people who still want a press pass are forced to feign excitement over losses that are close.

  • Thigpen is not the answer and no matter how much people hope - He would only be a great backup in any other NFL franchise.

    So keep eating, keep buying tickets, and keep watching . . . The Stadium Tax Jackson County is now paying on behalf of these losers is dependent upon it.
  • Let's blame years of water infrastructure neglect by politicos on local po'folk!!!

    I'm not sure if I like the slant of recent coverage by The Star that points out payment discrepancies without providing perspective. Check it: "Kansas City residents will face much higher sewer rates in coming years, but city officials also will seek federal funding and try to provide relief to low-income households." The fact is that the failure to maintain infrastructure has been a failure of politicos like Mayor Funky, Kay and Cleaver along with the various rich people who have supported them. All of these power brokers in Kansas City put their own vanity projects, agenda and careers before looking after basic services in this town . . . And that's why local water infrastructure is so screwed. Passing the blame to lower income people or even slanting stories that way is a misrepresentation of Kansas City's history and neglects to mention the fact that, for the most part, Kansas City's monied class led this town astray.

    Protecting Plaza Shoppers from themselves

    Promise of stoplight on Plaza 47th Street and Pennsylvania Avenue goes unfulfilled . . . It probably shouldn't be the biggest priority of this town but thank goodness the Star is quicker to field this kind of complaint than anyone else in this town.

    Kansas City's Mayor keeps on pushing poseur image as a reformer



    The "Orange Revoltuion" in Kansas City is dead and the only people who still believe that garbage are most likely the Mayor and his wife who are holed in their over mortgaged Brookside residence.

    Last night's Town hall was a clear example of Mayor Funky's increasingly delusional statements regarding his tenure.

    The quotes from the meeting are incredible:
    Toward the end of the meeting, a resident asked about the issue with Funkhouser's wife, Gloria Squitiro.

    Funkhouser called the city's ordinance, "the silliest thing in the world."

    He said that he's not spending much time on the issue.

    "I'm not trying to be beloved. I'm trying to get the damn trash picked up,"
    Ugh.

    MR. MAYOR EVERYONE WHO ACTUALLY WATCHES THE NEWS IN KANSAS CITY KNOWS THAT STATEMENT WOULD BE WONDERFUL IF ONLY IT WAS TRUE AND JUST WASN'T ANOTHER THROWAWAY PR LINE!!!

    If the Mayor is so concerned about getting trash picked up in Kansas City, then why is he suing this town when he could be working to restore bulky item pickup?

    In fact, earlier this year TKC tipsters reported trash near a school that Mayor Funky had specifically promised to pick up and nothing had been done for more than a year.

    The list goes on . . . Meanwhile, Mayor Funky continues to stay at home most of the time and seems more committed to engaging in lawsuits than anything else.

    Pervy Local Lifesaver Put Away!!!

    A sad case that still reminds us even the upstanding people can commit horrible actions: EMT gets 20 years for child porn charges. And sadly, because it's a perv case there is unfortunately an Internet angle:
    The defendant pleaded guilty in April to using a 5-year-old girl whom he was babysitting in his home to engage in sexually explicit conduct for producing child pornography. The defendant, also known by his online name, “babysitting_uncle,” distributed one of those photographs over the Internet to at least two other individuals, and distributed multiple images of additional child pornography among a group of individuals, between April 1 and Aug. 10, 2007. Rice also admitted that he was in possession of child pornography on Aug. 24, 2007.

    The defendant advertised on Craigslist, offering himself as a babysitter for more children.
    Ugh. Sometimes I'm sad that Al Gore invented the Internets.

    Show Me Opposition to Executions

    MyFoxKC: A coalition consisting mainly of death penalty critics called for a moratorium on Missouri executions Wednesday in order to study the current system.

    Harsh Times Cutback Highway Funding

    The director of the Missouri Department of Transportation said Wednesday that its tax revenues are running 4.9 percent behind projections and that could jeopardize future road and bridge projects . . . Fortunately, local advocates of light rail and other pipe dream schemes never worry about real world numbers in their fantasies.

    Driving home the point that white people visiting Kansas City should be scared!!!



    Actually, I really like a recent report by KCTV5 regarding scary downtown parking!!!

    I'm of the mind that an urban metropolis should be just a little bit scary . . . At least when it comes to clueless suburbanites who mistakenly believe that wandering around with their head in the air is a right and not part of their privilege . . . Still, the story contains some very good tips on how to avoid scary urban parking scams that should start with not trusting strangers . . . Which I thought most people learned earlier than their late 20's.

    Dedication to local murder victim

    MyFoxKC covers a recent building dedication to Brandon Fauntelroy-McDowel who was murdered in a park overlooking the Downtown Airport.

    All too common: One more KC Cancer Fight

    KMBC: Couple Fights Insurance Over Cancer Treatment

    Marathon Q&A Session for Mayor Funky

    KMBC reports that Mayor Funky's deposition lasted FOR SEVEN HOURS!!! So, I guess we're a "City that works" on nothing but defending Gloria Squitiro all day.

    Kansas City Morning Link Rundown



    Here are a ton of morning news links for your consideration . . . I've even managed to read a couple:

  • Suburban bliss ruined yet again: Fire Damages Olathe Apartments

  • This Kansas Fundie betrayed, like Jesus only without the facial hair and much more pious: Kline employee testifies against him

  • Happy reporting from The Star starts off by ignoring most of the district's problems: KC schools make progress on finances

  • The knives are still out in this cowtown: 1 Arrested In KC Stabbing

  • KC Council set to take action on KC Parking Crisis: High Towing Fees Could Be Hauled Away

  • KC Man Charged with Rape, Assault

  • Lower revenues and things getting tougher in the Golden Ghetto: Prime Buzz reports that the average tax bill this year for all single-family homeowners in Johnson County will increase $53, less than half last year's average increase of $117.

  • High Tech, High Wreck in Kansas City: NBC Action News reports, One of the area's fastest-growing companies is not immune to the struggling economy. Perceptive Software is cutting 23 jobs.

  • Pillow biting college students find that pillow bites back: Bed Bugs Found at Area Colleges

  • Kansas City truism, newsies always hate each other: Star's Donovan Blasts Cashill

  • Joanna Krupa photo gallery from Ask Men, just because.
  • Cash for Crazy Ass Kansas City Convicts!!!

    From The Star: Kansas City jail inmates suffering from mental health issues could qualify for treatment under a $900,000 grant program announced Wednesday.