Nobody likes tired, poor, crazy immigrants

Homeless African immigrant Berhanu T. Berhanu is charged with first-degree tampering with the service of a utility and second-degree assault after screwing around with a traffic light.

Unfortunately, the guy is mental and this isn't the first time he's made the news. A Channel 9 story this evening reported that Berhanu is the same dude who was trapped in a clothing donation bin after tampering with it several months ago.

The story featured a white women who was formerly punched in the chest by Berhanu and she seemed mad that the guy was back on the street, mad that he was an immigrant and using public resources and just all around mad.

I haven't really come to any conclusions about this story but I do think it's yet another example that this country has very little compassion left for anybody . . . Especially poor, crazy, brown people who punch white women.

So I'm wondering what the next big conservative moment will be now that "compassionate conservatism" is going down in flames along with the Bush presidency. Is it possible to run a "get all of the darkies out of this country and keep bombing them overseas" party. I don't know if I'd vote that way but I'd damn sure buy one of their t-shirts. Just a thought.

Nadia Pflaum gets all of her story ideas from TKC

The Catwoman has struck again! This week Nadia Pflaum files a story that expresses every sentiment I've already written on this blog regarding Marcus Leach. They say that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery so I'm guessing that if I ever meet this woman I'll have to make sure that she doesn't blow me. Here's her story which is featured in this week's Pitch that (thankfully) is not gushing over a local emo band or a passing fad in this town that is promoted by some carpet bagger who is secretly screwing a member of the staff:

The Miseducation of Marcus Leach

Just to show you that I'm not fucking around, here are some links to prove that I've also written (eloquently) about the subject:

"Leach, who is Black"
Leach Impeached

And a few other posts right here.

As usual Pflaum's article is thorough and well written. If you have time to read the 3,000 word polemic I'm sure you will enjoy it and you probably need to schedule a colonoscopy if you're spending that much time on the can.

Thing is, I just hope this isn't a trend because I noticed that she pretty much stole borrowed every sentiment I've ever written about Stan Glazer and added a bit of muck raking and insider dirt of her own. It was a nice article but didn't really capture the guy's charm and acumen along with the distinct possibility that in such a crowded field he just might (and probably should) be this town's next mayor.

Anyway, Pflaum's admiration of all things Tony is odd because not only is Pflaum a better journalist than I am (I'm not one) but also she wrote the best news article published in print last year in KC. Also, I liked her story about narcocorridos in Kansas City even if I wanted to slap everyone who was interviewed and I think journalists should work harder to find Mexicans who aren't holding a guitar.

Still, there were a few things missing. Pflaum gets too caught up in the dopey student politics at UMKC and she doesn't examine the real issue: Why is Marcus Leach under fire and why have so many people have taken an interest in the silly machinations of student government politics at UMKC? The answer isn't just race, it's also about achievement and race coupled with the fact that UMKC (like this nation) is so paralyzed by political division that any strong leader will face an inevitable backlash. Nadia tries to develop this theme in terms of SGA spending (yawn) but never makes the connection.

Also, true to form for the Pitch, the article capitalizes on tawdry (fun) facts and fails to put the controversy in perspective. My favorite portion of the story is a bit of dirt digging that Pflaum comes up with in regard to Leach's Internet humor:

Tasteless jokes written by Leach on Cross-x.com, an online debate forum. One joke that appears to have been written by Leach reads: "How do you make a 7-year-old cry twice? Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear."

That's pretty good gossip but if you look even harder, you'll find that many people have a few complaints about Leach that aren't as frivolous or prurient.

Co-workers and (so-called) friends of Leach have sent me a few e-mails and have made the following complaints:

"The guy has absolutely no focus. He's involved in so many things that he performs all of them poorly"

"Just because he's half Black that means every turd he pushes forth must be polished and celebrated by those looking to use him as part of their cause."

Also, Pflaum was too busy muckraking on the Internet to report that Leach was recently fired from the Campus Ambassadors program at UMKC because of his lack of participation and poor attendance. Incidentally, poor attendance for SGA meetings was also an issue touted by Leach's detractors which Pflaum doesn't mention; she relies more on painting the issue as a coup d'état run by the Frat boys and girls - that's accurate but not exactly the whole story.

In the end, you should read the article on your own and then ask yourself what you'd do if all of your college fuck ups, enemies and hardships made the local news. So often, when issues of race and college campuses appear in the media we have a tendency to forget the stupidity of most college kids and college life in general because of the amazing potential of the people involved, the reflection of our society within the microcosm of a campus and the fact that colleges are horribly run, full of unimportant bickering and dysfunctional . . . Just like the real world.

Finally, (whew) the article features a number of lessons for youngsters seeking political office. Here's number 7: Don't trust people from New Times publications. More and more this city's corporate alternative rag resembles the middle aged ranting of someone desperately trying to be cool rather than a glimpse at stories the MSM won't report. This article just seems like a backstabbing attempt to air the dirty laundry of a 20 year-old kid and call it news . . . I thought that's why people read bloggers Xanga. Normally, I admire Nadia's journalistic skill (not really) but this cover story is nothing more than a he said/she said account of some kid's college political career and it's import to KC is unapparent and largely contrived . . . Very much akin to Pflaum's hip-hop poseurdom reporting.

Man's SUV Stolen After Getting Oil Changed

It's hard for me to feel sorry for the guy given that he drives and SUV and that oil companies regularly get away with stealing.

Killing the competition

One of the reasons I don't do business with white people is because they will kill you the second they get tired of looking at you or want to negotiate a new deal (see: Native Americans) then again their minority counterparts aren't that much better if you notice all of the dead drug dealers often spotted in the news . . . So I guess that any business deal is dangerous when you're dealing with somebody (most people) who will kill you if it means a couple of more bucks for them.

Recently, KCTV 5 reports that a 63-year-old contractor is due in Johnson County District Court today on charges he plotted to have a business associate killed over a real estate deal. I don't know if Jimmie Earl Presley is related to The King but he (allegedly) has his ambition and good hair.



Sadly, I'm probably mistaken but it just doesn't seem like there are many suburban hitmen out there (other than home refinancing people) so I'm always surprised that pissed off suburbanites still search for them when they need somebody killed. It's akin to the police using healthy looking white women for hooker decoys or pervs thinking that some underage broad wants to have sex with them just because they throw around a few (un)clever lines in a chat room . . . I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm surprised people think these things exist because just like the Easter bunny or women who don't marry for money these items are myths.

Thankfully, no one was harmed and the only thing that suffered was the notion that even your average person wouldn't kill for the right amount of scratch. Also, this story spells bad news if real estate deals are now turning violent given all of the speculative land grabbing in this town and all of the people who are over extended, holding on to expensive mortgages and ready to kill somebody if their condo deal doesn't go through. I've said it before, the real estate market in the metro area is killer.

Giving you the business

Links from the Biz Journal:

- It's not exactly the Falun Gong Show: China's U.S. ambassador speaks at Cerner where the only human rights violation is that employees are forced to smile and nod when Jeanne Patterson speaks of her political ambitions.

- The Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City will cut 109 jobs in cash and check-processing services mainly because nobody has any cash or money in a checking account anymore. Mayor Kay and the current Republican administration have taught us that we can live on credit cards forever. Hooray!

- Cargill Inc. plans to build a soybean processing facility in Kansas City. And while all fast food is pretty much made with meat flavoring and soybeans . . . You still probably won't be able to taste the freshness . . . Just the leftovers of employees who don't wash their hands.

- American Century launches three new funds while the rest of them sink. Still, this is good news seeing that the investment gurus stationed at KC's ugliest buildings are making enough money to afford a new dartboard.

Man Who Barricaded Himself In Home Found Dead

This 21 year old guy exchanged shots with the police at a home near 29th Street and Highland Avenue and it's too early to determine if his death was from police bullets or a self-inflicted wound. Too bad the guy couldn't stay holed up for a bit longer considering that there's nothing but abandoned houses on Kansas City's Eastside.

God save us from Christian nationalism

Red Letter Day directs us to a frightening scenario in which Christians take over the country and take away your right to lead an interesting life. It's a worst case scenario and it's much more likely that you'll voluntarily hand over your life and free will to them after it's in shambles because you can't handle your shit.

Royals Hire Dayton Moore As GM

On pace to lose a hundred more games this year a local blogger wonders if the change will do anything at all.

Pricey Police Academy

The KCPD's Northland police academy might cost $2 million more than expected.

Sadly, this seems to prove that the people in charge of the KCPD can neither control costs nor the murder rate. The over runs are blamed on construction delays and other unforeseen costs. More than half of the $1.02 million of the initial contingency fund is gone as the Board of Police commissioners agreed to provide another $1 MILLION DOLLARS to the account.

Somehow, I think all of this is fitting because I've always believed that construction companies are the biggest crooks in this town and clearly they can get away with ripping off the police. Still, I'm sure everything is on the up and up and this tiny bit of debt will inspire the cops who graduate from the academy to go out and earn their keep by making the city money while writing a great many tickets and also protecting the assets of the upper class in KC from all of the filthy, poor and dangerous brown people.

Cruel reality

The following quote comes from my father in regard to the loyalty of children to their mothers and the relative nature of truth:

"Yet baby pigs love still love their mother even though she's a big, fat hog."

I feel guilty for mentioning it, but that saying was the first thing that crossed my mind when I read the story of horrible anguish suffered by Marsha Spicer's daughter and other relatives as Richard Davis and Dena Riley appeared in court yesterday.

As a dude, I am sympathetic toward Spicer because being killed in search of group sex seems valiant in my estimation. But few people share my opinion. It's true that all of the victims in this case were innocent . . . kinda (Except for the kid, who was of course completely innocent you Nancy). But the cruel reality is that having sex with strangers is dangerous and this case clearly illustrates that point with dramatic TV news stories and courtroom appearances rather than quiet healthcare clinics or therapist's offices.

Obviously, the real victims in this story are not only people like Spicer's daughter but also every other dude out there relentlessly working to hook up a threeway without the consequences of an untimely death or sensational media coverage. Truly, smotherfuckers like Davis and Riley have hurt the entire community by reminding us not only that the era of causal sex is long gone but also that our loved ones are nasty.

Mayor Kay writes columnist

The completely irrelevant 10,000 Rain Gardens is under discussion on the editorial pages of The Star and nowhere else.

KC-area house sales fall

Looking for greater fools is getting tougher.

Puerto Ricans get all the breaks

Surprisingly, Linda Chavez is not behind the attempt to criticize Kansas City School superintendent finalist Anthony Amato. You know, she hates Puerto Ricans and she would probably agree that the guy got special treatment because he was allowed to re-enter the selection process after temporarily backing out.

The only thing the Royals hate more than winning is this country

Royals pitcher Ambiorix Burgos turned the flag upside down, he says it was an accident. Still, I thought displaying a flag upside down was a sign that a ship was in distress; so I think it may be appropriate after all.

Another sad pick up line

A woman's body was found in a pickup in East KC.

Saying "fuck you" to the homeless was never so cute

The KC Channel reports that a 'Miracle' dog has found a new home while stinky bums without shelter might wanna try learning new tricks and getting a flea collar.

"Mind Your Own Goddamn Business!!"

The X-man (rightly) defends drivers and their right to DVD porn along with providing some helpful hints for the road: "Keep your fucking eyes on the road, hands at "10 and 2", assume every other driver is an idiot out to kill you, anticipate other drivers actions and drive defensively."

"PUNCH AND JUDY in Real Life"

This amazing post from Dallas Penn puts the antics of RICHARD DAVIS and DENA RILEY in a new light. Dallas has a plethora of great insights about the case and he is wonderfully incisive when he calls this town, "the country's crotch." Go read, tell him I sent you.

Nothing but switch hitters in Johnson County

Like rats abandoning a sinking ship (for another one) the Republicans are quickly switching sides in the Golden Ghetto. Former Republican Chairman Mark Parkinson changed his party registration yesterday in what is most likely a precursor to the announcement that he'll be the running mate of Gov. Kathleen Sebelius. This show of opportunism is reminiscent of the recent change up in political affiliation of DA and AG hopeful Paul Morrison.

The greater trend in both of these cases is that rich, white people aren't loyal to any one and they will do whatever is necessary to keep their head above water and make those BMW payments . . . Think John Dean.

Clearly, this most recent defection is yet another sign that the Administration of GW Bush has been a complete and total abortion. His low popularity ratings with so much time left on the meter are utterly humiliating for Republicans. The Republican Party is distancing itself from W for fear of a horrible beating in the midterm elections and since staying afloat is never enough for JoCo folk, the next logical step is simply to switch sides. Also, we can now say with total certainty that the war in Iraq is lost given that killing babies is probably the least effective way to promote Democracy and this kind of slaughter is nothing more than a clear indication that the U.S. has worn out its welcome.

So, you can't fault a Johnson County jerkoff for staying true to form. In JoCo, career advancement is what keeps wives from cheating and creditors at bay . . . Loyalty is for children and poor people.

"Larry Johnson and Tony Gonzalez the Best of the Best"

They're not in the top five but they rank pretty high for two star players on a mediocre team. This is nice but it would be great if the Chiefs management could be trusted to execute a decent trade. Todd Blackledge we miss you nearly as much as we admire Dan Marino.

Mayor Kay cynically assumes that those who engage in ass sex don't know much about local politics - No homo, of course

Recently, Mayor "Country Club" Kay Barnes has created quite a stir by appearing on the cover of a local gay publication. The mayor is clearly pandering to one of the city's smallest (yet most vocal) minorities. And while this (empty) gesture is seen as bold move or as an advancement in the recognition of the ass slamming community it's nothing more than cheap trick to garner support for one of the worst mayoral tenures in more than a generation.

Let's make a comparison. During the last election Bush did not have a plan for winning the war in Iraq, battling high energy costs, jumpstarting the struggling economy or anything other than prolonging Toby Keith's career. Yet, he (or his advisors) did know that (many) people find butt sex somewhat disgusting. He capitalized on that and was able to make one or two declarative sentences regarding his policy and that was enough to win the election handily coupled with the fact that John Kerry's wife should be the first to be deported if any of this immigration stuff goes through. Kay has pulled off (nullus) a carbon copy of the maneuver and reached around out to the gheys in order to find someone in town who might show some acceptance of the deviant acts she has performed as mayor. Because Mayor Kay's tactic presumes that gheys don't care about fiscal responsibility, the city's debt load (heh) or this town's crumbling infrastructure. Obviously, if you're brave enough to show up at a homo party and not deny it afterwards then you're a hero in the ghey community. Either that or the next election she's running in will be for Queen of the Queers - a title that I believe was formerly held by Ida Mcbeth for a long period of time during the late 70's in this town.

Another point worth a bit of discussion is that maybe Kansas City is being primed for a backdoor invasion from homosexuals (ewwwwwwww) and Mayor Kay is finally revealing the team for which she's playing. It's common knowledge that homosexuals have more money than straight people. And, since (stereotypically) homosexuals are more well groomed then your average slob guy it makes sense to think that they are well suited to take advantage of the tax abated condos that are the only legacy of Mayor Kay's tenure. Yup, Country Club Kay couldn't fix many potholes in this town and I haven't heard her say the word sewer in three years but she has nearly turned KC into a Mecca for rich ghey people who are suckers for speculative real estate markets. And while I'm sure the gay community* has contributed a lot to this town other than illicit sex in public parks, I trust that any group of people smart enough to avoid marriage, figure out nose hair trimmers and earn more money on average than boobie lovers like myself can see right past this lady's ruse. While I believe that the lifestyle choices of most people are disgusting, I don't think that anybody could honestly get behind Country Club Kay (in any sense of the expression) without some serious reservations regarding her inept handling of this town's finances, infrastructure and her overall lack of character and leadership as a mayor.

*Notice that I didn't mention lesbians once in this post because lesbianism is not a sexual preference, it's simply a way of either enticing or repulsing men based on the shape of the women involved.

Local Catholics are only good for pissing people off

I'm sure there are stories of kindness, compassion and decency which emanate from The Catholic Church but I don't have any experience with them.

Recently, the story of St. Agnes Catholic Church failing to renew the contract of its music director simply because he's gay and also serves as the choir director for Kansas City's Heartland Men's Chorus is yet another example of a wave of "conservatism" crashing over local Catholic Churches and washing away longtime devoted members.

But last Sunday, Joseph Nadeau ended his last Mass at St. Agnes Catholic Church with a wrenching solo on "God Help the Outcasts." It was his other life, as the artistic director of one of the nation's largest gay male choirs, that ultimately cost him his job.

In January, the St. Agnes Catholic Church hierarchy summoned Nadeau into a closed-door meeting, he said. Monsignor Gary Applegate told Nadeau that to continue as music director, he needed to resign from Kansas City's Heartland Men's Chorus, take a vow of celibacy and acknowledge that homosexuality was a disorder, Nadeau said.

Actually, this isn't anything that new. This is the parish I grew up in and it's strangely comforting to know that some things (their intolerance) will never change. When I went to school there, the only thing they hated more than Mexicans was gay people or maybe Black people . . . I don't know for sure, I didn't pay much attention in school. Later on, in that same parish, a high school teacher would tell my football team in a private moment that there wasn't anything wrong with "fag bashing" other than running the risk of getting their blood spattered on you. This is why baseball bats were (supposedly) preferred . . . Which (ironically) seemed kind of ghey to me. People find this stuff hard to believe . . . But I'm not making it up and maybe there is some kind of logical explanation for it . . . Who knows? Maybe all of the Mexicans who went to that school were, in fact, retarded and really did belong in the slow classes.

In the end, I've found that whenever anyone really questions representatives of the Church . . . There is only one answer: If you don't like it, you can leave. Strangely, you'd think this kind of attitude would quickly evaporate the membership but you'd be wrong. Very much like the ratings of Lou Dobbs the Church earns even MORE attendees (in this country at least) when it takes a reactionary or intolerant stance on a divisive issue. Also, I've always found that reformers of the Church and their views are even more ghey than the almost any homosexual parishioner. If you think the people in the Church are obnoxious, the people trying to change it are downright silly and don't realize that women priests would prove once and for all that God is dead.

And while it doesn't seem very Christian to shun somebody because of what they do with their genitals in the privacy of their own public restroom stall, I can't say the reaction of St. Agnes parishioners is that surprising. I've always known that if the Church didn't speak up during the Holocaust, the institution will always be more concerned with mindless devotion to their own rules and their standing rather than simple human compassion. And while I'm a bad Catholic who rarely attendees mass, I have to admit that I'm still drawn to the Church because of the ancient rules, old buildings, outdated philosophies and ongoing traditions which serve to remind me that more than two thousand years of worship serve only as a meager, flawed offering to the hope that these rituals aren't in vain. Also, it's cheaper than a movie and they give away snacks sometimes.

"Trolley Trail Barhopping"

A great drinking tour of this city with photos that surprisingly don't get blurry as the tour progresses.

Gardening and gauging hardness in KC

I did not know this but there is a "hardness map" put out by the Department of Agriculture in order to demonstrate what plants are most likely to survive in any area. As always, it's virtually impossible to gauge Kansas City.

None of this matters to me because I only plant tomatoes and global warming is pretty good for that crop. The way things are going, I'll be able to grow my own kiwi fruit in about three years.

However, this post on hardness and gardening got me thinking about a recent NOT SAFE FOR WORK photo set I stumbled upon featuring Czech model Marketa Belonoha. As you can see she's pretty hot for a skinny 24 year old white broad and she's obviously a big fan of gardening just like me. Also, she just might be one of the last generation of white women we will see on this planet before illegal immigration, interracial dating and global climate change makes us all look Filipino no matter how desperately the Republican House works to fight two of these three maladies.

East vs. West Independence

In this battle for more funds and attention from City Hall you can be certain that both sides are losers unless it comes to the Meth trade where everybody wins except your teeth.

Mary Sanchez weighs in on a nearly month old article about Castro's billions

Timely. Rich. Fascinating. Also, I hear that Hugo Chavez is quite a firebrand as well. I'm certain Sanchez also has some nasty comments to make about him considering that all Latinas are contemptuous of strong Latino men (tyrants and breadwinners alike) which is yet another reason why she fits in so well at The Star and why I only date white women.

The KC Johnson County Star shares an opinion

All is not well in the Golden Ghetto, infighting seems to be destroying the relative peace created by running away from minorities. Also, KCMO proper needs its own paper.

Tell it to the computer, honey

KC Infozine reports that computer screening may increase the odds that a woman at risk for domestic violence will talk to a health care professional in the emergency department about the topic . . . Because nobody else wants to hear it. We've got problems of our own and that kind of confession is one of the worst ways to find a new boyfriend . . . Akin to wearing a blouse with a tire track across it.

The troubled lives of Richard Davis and Dena Riley

What's more interesting to me is how a guy who worked as a janitor, dropped out of junior high, jumped between jobs and spent more than half his life in jail could hook up a threeway. I always thought you had to have a million bucks to do something like that.

Couple Accused Of Hitting Child With Bible

My grandma used to joke about this with my mother because she read a bunch of child psychology books on parenting. She said, "The only way those books are going to help you is if you use them to beat him." Apparently, this is also true of the bible and yet another way "The Good Book" can change your life.

Gully bar fight is the best publicity for a local dive

Four people were arrested early Monday morning after a fight outside a nightclub at 118th Street and Blue Ridge Boulevard. No word on whether or not they slammed that Z. Also, South KC is quickly becoming the butthole of the area.

Smoking is far worse than de facto segregation

Two KC suburbs are close to putting smoking bans on the November ballot in order make life in those towns not only more boring but also a little longer.

No Joke: Blind man trains for run despite crappy sidewalks

If I find out he's working with a priest, a rabbi and a duck then I quit.

Memorial Day Fireworks

No, not a recounting of drunk relatives fighting over who mom loves more. Instead, local blogger Scooter posts some nice pics of last night's pyrotechnic show near Union Station.

Brand New Local Blogs

Rubric's Twist: Is a new local blog with a name that reminds me of my favorite character in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels . . . Actually, the name is Ruprecht not rubric but close. A great movie and a great blog . . . Check them both out if you haven't yet.

Blaaaaaahhg: A great local blog that not only contains some great personal insights but also some interesting items about this town.

Finally, be sure to check out Kansas City Confidential to get "the story behind the story on K.C. politics and government." Looks like good stuff so far with a few interesting posts like this one about Mayor Kay's new pet.

In Memoriam

A long time ago (4 days), I remember when I used to post a bunch of links on this blog . . . Those times will return, hopefully tomorrow. In the meantime, I've compiled a list of things that I'm remembering and reflecting on today . . . In between trips to my cooler which is shaped like the ass of Kay Barnes; however it only holds beer which is still much more interesting than anything she has pulled out of her backside recently.

So, in loving memory . . . Here is the list:

• 2739 casualties in Iraq freedom and Enduring freedom.


• More than 16,500 Americans wounded in Iraq


• Big hair . . . And not just on Italian woman.
  


• Tax payer funded Royals losing streak.


• Chiefs players (or County officials) without a criminal record


• The word "neighborhood" in discussion about the future of KC


• A view of the KC skyline for less than a 1/2 million bucks or maybe just affordable housing in KC that doesn't require a 45 minute commute.


• Support for conservative principals like the free market and small government rather than clamoring for the world's largest bureaucracy at the border in the desperate hope that Mexicans can't do paperwork.


• A time when this town wasn't so ghey or, more accurately, lusting after the disposable income of ghey people. (More on this later - No homo)


• Women who aren't on a diet.


• The days when the term "local artist" was just a euphemism for "drug addict."


• Finally, I'd like to memorialize people who have something, anything to remember, mourn or reflect upon on this day rather than just spending it shoving BBQ in their face, turning bright pink at the lake, crowding the highway and wasting time with their overweight children who can't remember anything thanks to the mainstream media, neglect and the horrible effects of Oprah on the culture.
  

"'Cause every Puerto Rican's a lousy chicken"

The local TV stations are reporting that Anthony Amato, the former superintendent of the New Orleans School District, will most likely be the next superintendent of the KCMO School District.

Amato seems to have a strong rep but there is not denying that he was run out of New Orleans in a hurry just like many poorer members of the Black community in that town (Thank you God, global warming, the undercover ops who destroyed the levy, etc.).

If you looked over the resumes of all of the superintendent applicants it was easy to see that they were either embattled in their previous gigs or really underqualified. Clearly, KC is the last stop for many education careers on a downward spiral.

Here's a bit intracultural rivalry trivia: Mexicans and Puerto Ricans hate each other. And not just because Linda Chavez is a bitch. Puerto Ricans can come here legally and Mexicans can't; it's a sore spot but many Mexicans find it necessary to make reference to the fact that all Puerto Ricans have some percentage of African decent in their background when the topic is under discussion . . . Racial politics is silly. However, I can't help but be pleased that there is a Latino working at the school district other than the janitors and in some small sense I feel that David Smith has made a bit of atonement for his previous transgressions against the good people of Puerto Rico. And, maybe this will prove to be beneficial for the 7 or 8 kids who have not yet dropped out of KC public schools.

In the aftermath of a threeway

Unfortunately, I have no experience with group sex. This is probably a good thing. This week the Marsha Spicer Murder/Snuff Film story has illustrated the dangers of overloading a sex sandwich. Still, now that Richard D. Davis and Dena D. Riley are in police custody engaging in a threeway is a little bit safer aside from the usual hazards of herpes and leopard skin rugs.

Additionally, the couple's surrender also included the recovery of a 5 year-old girl who was recently reported kidnapped but I have no fucking clue what that's about . . . All I know is that it's just more evidence that things get freaky when you start bumping uglies with strangers.

And it's not that I'm a conservative person who believes that sex is a sacred act. Remember, I'm Catholic so I believe that sex is filthy, disgusting and an expression of my wickedness . . . Very much like a bowel movement.

But I will say that I've never gone down the road of group sex, not because of religion or morals, but because I know that getting that freaky with two or more partners opens up possibilities for all kinds of deviant behavior. For instance, mustaches were never cool but they are sported by guys who have group sex because of the infamous "mustache ride" and because fashion becomes less important when you are elbows deep in some guy's wife while your partner is being ridden harder than Barbaro at the Preakness. Also, I don't have a million dollars so hooking up a threeway with two skanks who are strangers is out of the question and having a threeway with your girlfriend is just a bad idea. A threeway with a girlfriend only reveals that you're dating a complete whore and most guys have to actually marry a woman and go off to war or engage in a trial separation to find that out.

Back to my point: Once you are down for group sex then you're down for anything.

Davis and Riley lived out their snuff film fantasies and allegedly murdered some poor woman while making a movie (John Landis eat your heart out) but let's not forget that the Manson Family started out as a sex cult and ended up participating in one of History's All-Time Greatest Etherings along with Sharon Tate.

Obviously, sex can make you do crazy things . . . I once told a broad I was going to marry her.

Thankfully, my fear of germs and gold chains has kept me away from deviant sexual practices (for the most part) along with the support of my girlfriend. She thinks it's a sign that this country is full of freaks when I tell her how many people have searched this blog for info on anything having to do with the Marsha Spicer murder. Also, she tells me that some fantasies are better left unexplored. According to her, involving some hot broad in our relationship who could not only fulfill both of our sexual needs but also could remain emotionally available, leave the toilet seat down, enjoy the nuanced performances in Six Feet Under and not purport that hugging is only for homosexuals . . . Well, including that kind of person in our sex life may not be in my best interest.

If old white women aren't safe on the Plaza then none of us are

A 70-year-old woman was apparently robbed and sexually assaulted in the stairwell of a Country Club Plaza parking garage.

Greg Reeves pats Whitlock on the head

Here's something important concerning minority writers for those of you who don't have much experience with the subject: If white people agree with your writing about topics concerning race then you aren't doing your job. I like Whitlock's work regarding sports because he's a good writer and I imagine that all of his columns are composed on the back of a stripper's ass but he's consistently off base, unsophisticated, uninformed and parochial when he takes on subjects out of his field of expertise. He stumbles through columns in favor or tax increases and bigger press boxes for his big ass without even noting any of the opposition against projects that he was obviously forced to support at the behest of his employers/owners/Tall Israelis . . . Also, and this may be a plus but Whitlock has never used it to his advantage, the guy has a dumb jock's view of the world which is skewed because even the most ardent racist adores Black athletes even if he regards ever other minority as human trash.

Black Drivers Stopped More

A new report released by Attorney General Jay Nixon reveals that Black motorists in Missouri continue to be pulled over by police at a higher rate than white drivers.

In other news, the sky is still blue, the Royals suck, the Star's coverage is geared toward 63 year old upper class white women, when Mexicans get pulled over they get deported not just hassled and your white privilege allows you to say "ah, that's too bad" and the go back to enjoying your Starbucks coffee.

Covering your Fannie

According to a new federal report, mortgage overlord Fannie Mae received help from Senator Kit Bond in its attempt to undermine a probe of the company's accounting practices.

The company eventually had to pay 400 million to buy off settle the case. Bond claims that he was merely trying to make sure Fannie Mae's regulators were doing their job properly. Obviously, the Senator is interested in productivity, especially when the multi-million dollar bonuses of top executives are concerned.

Ice-T's sexy ass wife contributed to this report in the sense that her clothes are nearly as transparent as Kit Bond's motives.

A Terrorist Friend in Kansas City

Enjoy this post from local blogger "Happy in Bag." He'll be filing his next entry from Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Kidding, working with a terrorist is not a crime unless that "terrorist" is Mexican. Clarification: This blogger never worked with a terrorist, he is not now nor has he ever been Arab and the only contact he has with Mexicans is an occasional trip to Pancho's on Main . . . But I'm sure his heart is pure and he calls tacos "America crunchies."

12 in a row

The Royals turn losing into an endurance sport. I wonder if the so-called "contribution" to the community during the Stadium Tax debate was really just all the jokes that people of this town make at their expense.

Sleeping on train tracks probably isn't a good idea

Unfortunately, the only place you would have to give that kind of warning is in Independence, MO . . . Where the men are men and the women are slightly less appealing than Meth.

Olathe Bass Pro breaks ground

And then I heard something, as if a thousands of voices of minorities in this town cried out that they really didn't care and were suddenly silenced because the commercial was over and Late Night BET video was back on the tube.

Jackson County seeks hike in 911 (is a joke) tax

But will improved service allow us to call the line when there is an emergency in terms of rampant spending by local government officials OR what about when Katheryn Shields needs a snack?

Hear ye

Hey, you didn't hear it from me or anybody else for that matter but the police are investigating a rape at The Kansas School for the Deaf in Olathe. KCTV 5 has the details.

A lie from a woman who loves you #5,872: "It's not the size but what you do with it"

Sexy KCTV 5 Headline: Man With Large Gun Robs Kansas City Convenience Store

Do you think this guy would have made the news if he used a snub nose?

Don't worry. It's the size of your wallet that really counts.

"The highway's jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive"

Summer is upon us and the Black youth kill each other while the white kids kill themselves in traffic accidents. (I assume the Latinos kids get the best of both worlds in this scenario only with better music and greasier hair) Also, I've got to stop listening to classic rock when I update this blog because it makes me angsty and I can't stop singing "Born to Run."

I have no idea how I ever survived being a teenager (it isn't a given, it never was) but I'm sure it took a few years off my parent's lives.

CARTHAGE, MO Thief has a lot of balls

It would be worth stealing 3,000 golf balls just to tell this joke to everybody who would listen until you were eventually caught . . . And then it wouldn't be so funny but still might serve as a nice memory in the "happy place" you're forced to go to when the bad men have their way with you.

Let's go to the videotape

Face it, it's just a bad idea to document your sexual exploits on videotape.

Recently, this town has not only been shocked by the Marsha Spicer Sex/Snuff tape threeway murder story but also we've recently been mildly amused/disturbed by the story of a woman who was employed as a court worker having sex with a 16 year-old boy and their sex tape which subsequently circulated around this town like a bad case of gonorrea emanating from the Chiefs locker room.

So here's the deal and it's not news: Don't videotape yourself doing the nasty unless you are comfortable with the prospect of your worst enemy watching you make a face that resembles Ernest Borgnine while you're trying to get your O.

Besides, recording sex is a bad idea. If you want a record of all the great sex you once had in your youth but is now nothing more than a distant memory . . . Then you should just have a kid.

Free Falling

A man fell to his death last night from a hotel balcony near the Truman Sports Complex. Police have not yet determined the cause of his fall but the Royals are really that bad in case you were wondering.

The Tomahawk Blog: Kansas City Chiefs Player Salaries

OR . . . How much do you need to have in the bank in order to afford this town's hottest blonde skanks?

The Whole Truth

Yet another great round up from my favorite conservative blogger.

Mac has a lot more fun than you

Has local blogger Mac has gone Hollywood? Let's hope so . . . Check out his latest adventures in L.A. which include great shots of an actress/model/whatever, a popular podcast host and a freaky art exhibit. Apparently, tinseltown seems to be the Mecca of paranormal research . . . That doesn't surprise me one bit.

"No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public"

I guess H.L. Mencken really wasn't that smart considering that he's dead but he did make a good point.

The news that Taylor Hicks is the winner of this year's American Idol is weird enough to make we want to go smack a Puerto Rican broad just to get back at Paula Abdul.

I only watch American Idol during the first few episodes to see the really bad acts and then I lose interest but clearly Hicks is the one that got away from the early cuts.

Truly, there is no accounting for taste and unfortunately this gives all of those losers down at Harrah's Lucky Break yet another excuse to keep annoying their relatives and ruining Top 40 songs. So, thank you America . . . We don't agree on much but the fact that all pop stars should have no talent and their success should be inexplicable.

Final Four Named in School Search

That's cool. KMBZ is presenting the selection of a new superintendent as a playoff of sorts. The only difference is: After two years or so the winner is also eliminated because nothing short of a miracle will save the irrevocably broken KCMO School District.

Working to Ease Traffic To Lake of the Ozarks

Rumor has it they're just going to air drop in skanks wearing tube tops. It should be fun to watch.

Charlie, the bagpiper bus driver in action

MM&I photographs this local favorite playing his bagpipes on the street during his break.

I encountered the guy (I didn't know his name was Charlie) a few years ago when I was having a horribly shitty day and his dedication to his instrument totally changed my mood (no homo). There's something about the bagpipes that makes me feel good not only because the Scottish and the Irish haven't really oppressed many people other than themselves but also because it sounds like kittens being beaten and that thought always makes me smile. Anyway, take a look at her photos and, as always, hail to the bus driver man.

Family Searches For Killers Of Bank Guard

As their search for justice (good luck) continues I guess they've already ruled out the company that would hire an old ass man as the only guard for a branch that had already been robbed several times and then pay him a pittance while expecting him to take a bullet for the vault.

Not so sexy slidehow

(Allegedly) murderous couple ruins the fantasy of threeways for us all. Now all of my sex fantasies are confined to money and pastries. This online slideshow should bring you up to speed regarding the case.

"Gaping Hole in Northland"

This story concerns damage done to a house by last night's storm and NOT the fact that the Northland is devoid of any class or culture and not in reference to the big mouths of Northland housewives.

Sex slaves in KC?

The U.S. Justice Department launched a loosely organized effort Wednesday to prosecute human trafficking in a region that has prosecuted virtually no such cases. Officials call the effort "Preemptive" but I think they've just been watching Oprah too much. Check out the blog of Daniel Radosh who regularly exposes how over-hyped this issues is . . . Sure it makes great fodder for Lifetime movies but it's not exactly a pressing issue . . . Like, you know . . . Understanding what in the hell is happening on LOST.

KC wins four public works awards

The National Public Works Week awards luncheon turns out well for this city. The article doesn't mention if they served pork or not. Still, it's nice that recognition was given for completing three very important projects. There more than 300 left to go.

Snobbery on a budget: Low end lofts in KC still impress your low class friends.

The Professional Building Lofts will open in the summer, a leasing agent for commercial space in the long-vacant building at 1103 Grand Blvd.

The units are designated as affordable housing. Tenants' income can't exceed 60 percent of the Jackson County average. Monthly rents range from $550 to $850.

It's a good buy considering how much ass an nice loft will earn you. I know it's old news but it's still worth mentioning that women are stupid and studies have shown that they like nice, shiny things that seem to cost a lot of money.

CBS is killing the small market radio star

The Biz Journal reports that CBS Corp. is probably going to sell radio stations in 10 markets, including Kansas City, to maximize the performance of its radio division.

The company owns four radio stations in the Kansas City area: KCKC-FM 102.1, KMXV-FM 93.3, KBEQ-FM 104.3 and KFKF-FM 94.1.

Prepare for the forced humor of drive time to be even that much more depressing.

Is it time to kill the Earnings Tax in KC?

A local think tank says so and it's not like you'll be losing any value when it comes to the quality of local governance.

Blunt Meets With Troops In Iraq This Week

It's a good move that I can't really criticize. Additionally, I had no idea that kindergarten was out so early this year. Baby Blunt should have a lot to tell the other kids about how he spent his summer break.

One of KC's Top 20 conventions leaves town

This year's Students in Free Enterprise convention drew about 4,000 visitors, who spent an estimated $2.2 million over three days. After an 18th consecutive year in KC, they're leaving for Dallas with a vague lie mention that they might come back someday. Of course, you'd be a fool to trust business students but the fact that they skipped town certainly shows that they don't feel that this city is worth the investment for their conference. Meanwhile, I'm sure if anybody bothered to ask our beloved Country Club Kay about the departure I'm sure she'd propose luxury lofts in order to accommodate the convention, if they ever came back . . . Subsidized by TIF money of course.

Mike Hendricks: "Flirtation with roof rolls to end"

Amazingly, unlike most flirtations with rich guys, we didn't end up getting screwed.

KC isn't competing for GOP convention

We have enough bad ideas of our own.

Aquila can build whatever it wants

I love the smell of corporate domination over local government in the morning.

The Missouri Public Service Commission voted 3-2 on Tuesday to give after-the-fact approval to a $140 million power plant Aquila Inc. put up without the permission of the county where it is located.

Smell that, kids? It's freedom . . . Also a little bit of tar and some toxic sludge are mixed in there as well.

Man Rapes Woman Behind KCK Gas Station

KCTV 5 reports: "The woman said a man dragged her near a dumpster in the back of the station at North 21st Street and Park Drive on Sunday night."

Bill Cosby's KC message

Hip-hop, Black people under 30 and television are destroying the Black community. Whereas the people who participate in vigils, drink Coca-Cola, eat Jello and watch television re-runs are okay.

Red-Light Cameras for KC?

How closely does Mayor Kay have a right to watch you?

The Internet will give you an STD

Before the Internet, people just had to play Russian roulette when they were really bored. Now Internet dating takes to place of assisted suicide. By the way, if you were only to get your information from TV New you'd probably think that the Internet is full of STD's, Nigerian scammers, sexual predators, teenage murders and bullies. This is only partially true.

Capitalism is killing the Royals

What's the answer? Simple, hire more Latino players . . . They're all commies anyway but some of them have damned decent ERA's.

"I have now worked side by side with a violent felon."

This local blogger was a coworker of Richard "Rick" Davis. Luckily, instead of 3 ways the blogger and Rick talked mostly about "bikes and eBay, and other daily things. NOTHING he ever said or did sent my radar off that he was a BAD BAD BAD man!" Read the whole post for yourself and then look suspiciously at all your coworkers.

The only thing less sexy than this story is Scott Burnett

You would think that (allegations of) paying one of your employees on the sly would be pretty interesting in terms of political scandal as the election season quickly approaches. You would be wrong.

As of yesterday, Jackson County Legislator Scott Burnett is under investigation by the Missouri attorney general's office.

The complaint centers on whether Burnett has used public money to pay his legislative aide to do work at his consulting firm and questions whether Burnett had two conflicts of interest: He lobbies for a company that has a contract with the county worth more than $6 million, and his brother-in-law was involved in a land deal with the county.

The complaint was filed by the notorious Bob "Get my ass kicked in public" Stringfield. Initially, the complaint was filed with the Jackson County Ethics Commission [insert laugh here] and (unsurprisingly) nothing came of it. Already, there is a question whether or not AG Jay Nixon should recuse himself because of possible political ties to Burnett. Also, I wouldn't count on Burnett's company landing any big gigs in the near future . . . The mission of his business is to "offer public affairs services to counsel and assist clients in communicating their views to government officials" and it sounds eerily similar to Halliburton in this new light.

While this is very big news for the 2 to 3 dozen people who actually vote in the County elections, I'd have to say this story is a big snooze fest because it does not involve dead hookers, attractive people or anything that will remotely impact the lives of Jackson County voters.

Still, this tidbit does help out the election hopes of Patrick Dobson who seems to be strategically raping the corpse of this dead boring news item. It's a good move in a race where Dobson seemed to be the underdog as late as yesterday. Here's an excerpt of a press release where Dobson explains his thoughts on the matter:

The Ethics Commission's finding in this kind of complaint further erodes the reputation and credibility of the Jackson County Legislature and Jackson County government. Such a finding only fuels suspicions that county officials put their personal interests before the interests of the public and the taxpayer.

[Note from Tony: I hope you didn't laugh yourself to death after reading that.]

I believe Mr. Burnett to be innocent until a court decides otherwise. His position in a lobbying firm with a client that receives county contracts, however, combined with his position as legislator gives the appearance of a conflict.

Moreover, if it is determined that Mr. Burnett has a relationship with Attorney General Jay Nixon as a political consultant or campaign or fundraising volunteer, I will ask that Nixon recuse himself and his office from the case, and that Mr. Burnett's case be sent to another legal authority for investigation and possible prosecution.

So what have we learned from all this? Well, Dobson has a better chance then we once suspected and Burnett is no longer a golden boy simply because he looks like a high school principal. Also, with Stringfield trying to play the role of watchdog it's clear that a career in politics is never over until they find you with a dead girl or a live boy. While the Burnett story is a significant scandal, it's just not very sexy. Everyone who bothers to vote for County officials already assumes that they're all corrupt. Good luck to Burnett's opponents on easily attaining the spot of the lesser evil.

I'm afraid that unless we discover that the assistant who Burnett (allegedly) was paying was incredibly hot then all of this amounts to a controversy over bookkeeping and that won't really stir the hearts and minds of this apathetic local electorate.

If it helps you, I've come up with a "visual approximation" of the assistant who was (allegedly) getting paid on the downlow so that this story might become a little more captivating. If the person in question is half as hot as this broad and getting paid on the County's dime . . . Then I think this story might go somewhere after all.

Check it:

Only baby bloggers make the news

Funny thing, I read local blogs daily and what I see is some of the most informed and well-read people in the metro . . . But you wouldn't know that by watching the local news. In fact, if you watched local news coverage regarding blogs you would only see teenage school girls beating the shit out of each other over stuff spewed back and forth on Xanga. And while that's interesting, it's certainly not representative of the local blogging community. So take heart bloggers, you have just an inkling of how Black people feel when it comes to media depictions.

It's time for saying goodbye

Unfortunately, MilkToastKC is heading back East. Many of you were kind enough to send me news of his page last year and the guy posted some great stories, photos and funny articles. As a farewell, he posts a killer top ten list regarding some of his favorite thing about this town. I appreciate the mention and I also find that I agree with him on his other 9 points as well.

Best of luck on the East Coast dude. Thanks to global warming, you probably won't notice that much of a change in temperature but be sure remember this town and its people whenever you see any of those obese folks with two asses pass you by on the street. Best wishes from the (clogged) Heart of America!

No such thing as gun control in Kansas City

Local blogger Dan wrote an amazing post earlier today which brought up the question of gun control in Kansas City.

Dan isn't an anti-gun activist but he asks a pertinent question when he wonder how Lisa Slaughter's murderer obtained a weapon considering that the guy was a former felon.

As the murder rate soared last year the notion of enforcing the gun laws already on the books was not touted as much as the silly "start snitching" campaign. Obviously, there are a lot of root causes of violence (no daddy, bad daddy, imprisoned daddy and the contents of Cap'n Crunch) but it's also important to realize the direct correlation between felons in possession of firearms and the people the subsequently kill. Dan makes an excellent point and it should be addressed by local leaders even if any solution comes much too late for Lisa Slaughter.

The only Independent movie in Kansas City that we all want to see

The Marsha Spicer murder hasn't really held that much interest for me but now that there is talk of a snuff film in the custody of the KCPD I can't help but wonder about it . . . Also, there is some horribly lurid descriptions of the carnage available on the web if that's your bag, baby.

But, here's a thought: I know that because of legal reasons and because it's an ongoing investigation there is no way we'll ever see this material. However, at some point the investigation will be over all the parties will be long gone and this kind of media will still be kept from the public eye . . . Yet there are a few people (police, prosecutors, etc.) who will have watched it several times over. In the case of any obscene or indecent material which is banned from the public there are always people who must make those decisions about what you shouldn't see BUT IF the material is so dangerous and likely to make freaks out of whoever views it THEN why do we let public officials watch it?

If there is material so hazardous that the government doesn't want you looking at it then that probably means that nobody should ever look at it . . . Like that videotape in The Ring. And don't give me that "special training" nonsense because cops and lawyers rarely receive the same training when it comes to this stuff. Also, I'm not talking about porn involving minors because I know that it's really the market forces that are being battled against when it comes to laws against viewing child porn (of which I pretty much agree but still wonder why there is a major publication called "Barely Legal"). What I'm (daftly) questioning here is other instances of obscenity (mainly hardcore porn) which don't involve kids but still draw the ire of wanna be censors (Do you remember John Ashcroft?) who want to tell you what you can and can't see.

Still, in the end, I wouldn't want to watch something like the Spicer snuff film. I recently was forced to watch The Princess Bride (Why do bitches love that movie?) and that's about all the patently offensive content I can take for this week. Inconceivable!!!

The World Capital of Peace soon to be in Kansas

The Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and his peeps are soon to set up shop in Smith Center, Kansas. There are a few people in town who are opposed to the new cult movement coming to the traditionally Christian community but then again there are so few people in that town I would think more visitors would be welcome and they could all find a way for their superstitions to exist in harmony. Thanks to Happy in Bag for the link, send good vibes his way and make his blog a regular read.

The Star mainly runs PR

If you have any familiarity with the media or at least a 10th grade education you understand that the nature of the news is negative. Today, The Star's Steve Penn goes trendspotting and claims that the recent drop in homicides is helping to improve KC's image.

Too often we beat ourselves up in this town, preferring to focus on our negatives. But I believe good news on our homicide rate deserves equal time.

I think it's important to point out that statement was written by a grown man and not by a child . . . In case you were wondering; I know it would be easy to think otherwise.

Thing is, we're not even at the halfway point of the year and a few overly optimistic people are already starting to call the lower homicide rate a trend. This is wishful thinking. In the end, it's hard to admit that neither the empty words of local leaders nor the low budget ad campaign of Mike Sanders did anything to curb the murder rate. It was all empty rhetoric just like Penn's column today.

What I've noticed is that every time we have a nice day (above 80 degrees) there are more than a few murders in this town while the colder days see a decline in these reports. I could be wrong, it happens all the time. But celebrating the end of our murder rate crisis in KC before the beginning of the summer is just a joke and seems ignorant of every trend regarding murders that this town has ever seen.

The people of Kansas City love to kill each other during the summer and that's been true as long as I can remember. Yet Steve Penn is trying sell urban renewal based on what is merely a statistical anomaly. Nothing significant has been done to address the root causes of violence in this town and while it's okay (and correct) for us to note the many Black victims of violence . . . Nobody wants to mention the mainly Black and Latino perpetrators. This lack of honesty and candor in addressing this town's murder rate can't be called reporting or even analysis: It's PR and has become the stock in trade of this town's so-called paper of record.

Give the bitches a chance

The Star advocates for more women higher up on the corporate ladder of local big businesses . . . So that the rest of us can look up their skirt.

Shawnee kids get to use their imagination for transportation

A walking school bus program will most likely have many students hoping that administrators will get hit by a real bus.

A walking school bus essentially is a group of children walking together to school with one or more adults leading them along a designated safe route.

The initiative is aimed at promoting exercise and decreasing automobile congestion around the schools. The concept also would give parents confidence that their children would be safe walking to school.

As far as the city staff can tell, Shawnee would be the first in Kansas to implement such a program.

Actually, it sounds like a wonderful idea that you could only pull off in a white neighborhood. Best of luck to the kids who may soon have to hoof it because their parents can't get along with all the brown people who have all of the oil.

Fire Damages South Kansas City Apartment Building

With babies being thrown out of windows and people running for their lives, this story dominated last night's news with tales of heroism and the strangely disappointed looks from TV News people over the fact that nobody died.

Grandview Parents Upset Over Missing Graduation

One last important lesson for students: There is no complaint so small that a TV news crew won't be there to document.

Special report on KC's Murder squad

This part of the Channel 9's newscast last night was actually quite good and seemed more like a documentary rather than the same old TV news coverage. In many ways, the short special was like watching one of those TV dramas only without the insanely hot chick who is way to young and good looking to be working as a detective.

No support for the rolling roof

KC loses Super Bowl, keeps dignity. It's a better trade than you would think.

Blogger Backtalk: Let's review

- Read the first review of local blogger Joe's book.

- "It became even more apparent just how badly KC residents had given up on the Royals upon entering the stadium."

- Another edition of "Things Rusty Hates"

- A couple of decades too late, this post from Death's Door just taught me more about sex than my parents ever did.

The Apes are Racist

Topeka Lawrence blog "Evolution" points out that those damn dirty apes are not only capable of using tools and sign language just like white people but they are also capable of foresight in much the same manner of the pale faces who have been keeping us down.

In this informative post, the blogger notes a public school (of course) definition of racism which claims that minorities are not able to plan for the future and J.D. then reasons that since apes are able to do this then they must be racist as well. Frankly, I've always suspected as much since it's rumored that Reagan got most of his ideas from a monkey he worked with . . . Additionally, the fact that Cheeta from the original Tarzan movies is still alive is enough to convince me that every damn monkey walking the earth is some kind of evil creature who is most likely just playing dumb and waiting to take over the planet.

"The Royals are the worst team we've seen in a long, long time."

Gawker Media thinks the Royals suck. Luckily, everybody else does too. Hat Tip to "Happy in Bag" for the link. My sympathies to all of you poor people who still watch baseball. Also, check out the Royals Review if you decided to forgo self-flagellation for this evening.

Tow Truck Driver Finds Man Shot To Death

If there was any justice, the guy would have looked up for just a second and said, "Nobody called you, why don't you beat it!" And then he'd just go on being dead.

Thank God you're not Catholic

I sit in the back row when I go to church. I don't go a lot and when I do I try not to laugh. Like everyone else, I'd like to believe that the Big JC is my homie but because I paid too much attention during philosophy class I have to admit the possibility that it's all a lie floats around in my head a lot.

Still, I would describe myself as a bad Catholic since that's the way every one of the nuns described me when I attended Catholic School.

Similarly, many people who are a part of the Catholic Church get very upset about the hierarchy of the institution. I've never really had the luxury of calling the higher ups into question because most of my friends were kicked out of school simply for being brown . . . Subsequently, I've always known my place as a Catholic.

Yet in the Kansas City-St. Joseph, MO. Diocese, complaints against the newly appointed Bishop Robert Finn are mounting.

Like I noted previously, you'll have a hard enough time convincing me that I'll be reunited with all of my dead pets on judgment day (I hope they don't send them to Hell too) so the inner workings of the Church really aren't that interesting to me but it's pretty amazing that even a priest knows that controlling the God like power of the media is of utmost importance. In the short time since his appointment the dude has:

- Ordered the editor of the diocesan newspaper to immediately cease publishing columns by Notre Dame theologian Fr. Richard McBrien.

- Announced that he would review all front page stories, opinion pieces, columns and editorials of The Catholic Key before publication.

Now, that's not quite up to the level of papal infallibility but it's close. There is no greater joy then telling people what they can and can't read which is why I imagine that the owners/publishers/executives of The Star are akin to God and not just because they're Jewish.

So, the important thing to take from this post is that Catholics in KC have even more problems than usual besides guilt regarding sex, hating gay relatives and the fact that divorce is equated with punching Jesus in the face.

KC Infozine: How to Tell Your Children You're Moving

I guess the best way might be a letter. But you should probably be sure not to include your address.

Even more tax breaks for downtown condos

The Biz Journal reports: "The Planned Industrial Expansion Authority on Monday approved property tax abatements to renovate seven buildings in and around downtown Kansas City.

The PIEA approved residential condominium conversions of two of the largest buildings in the Crossroads Arts District, the H.D. Lee and J.I. Case buildings, as well as an adjacent building at 2109 Broadway and the University Tower apartments at 700 E. Eighth St. on the East Side of Downtown."

Normally, I'd make some comment about the homeless but nowadays it's pretty clear that this city doesn't care about anybody who doesn't have the cash for a luxury living space. From homeless bums to anybody making less than 6 figures, this town doesn't have a place for anybody who can't afford a condo thanks to Kay Barnes.

Olathe To Discuss Smoking Ban

Actually, smokers will be angrily coughing and wheezing while anti-smoking fascists will use their superior lung power to whine on into the night. Cruel irony that people who want to tell you what to do so often have the loudest voices.

You take your chances with the law

KCTV 5 reports:

Secretary Shot Dead Outside Law Firm; Suspect Then Kills Self.

The victim's name was Lisa Slaughter and it seems like a domestic situation with a really bad ending: "Co-workers said Lisa Slaughter was nearing the front door of the law office where she worked in Kansas City when she was shot. She died at the scene.

Police said the woman's ex-boyfriend killed himself shortly after the slaying. The man shot himself in his truck when FBI agents tried to pull him over not far from where Slaughter may have lived in Kansas City, Kan., police said."

KCPD forced to hire more unqualified people

I'm not one of those minorities dumb enough to think that I've never been helped out by affirmative action. Let's face it, if white people had their way (all of the time) most of the "people of color" you see walking around freely would be somebody's property and would most likely be shackled by some kind of dog collar.

Still, the news that the KCPD is looking for women recruits comes as a disappointment to those of us who believe (know) that women are unqualified for serious police work . . . That is, unless the men on the force need their shirts ironed or a sandwich between shifts.

Anyway, the sad truth is that most crooks roaming the street are big, strong, menacing dudes and even the strongest women couldn't possibly face off against them in a fistfight. Hell, I know that (if pressed) I could knock out nearly any woman this side of Denise Austin without breaking a sweat . . . And I don't really work out that much.

So, don't look for any improvement in Kansas City's crime ridden streets as the murder rate will most likely continue to rise. Now that the KCPD is looking toward women to solve these problems you can be sure that all hope is lost. Unless the new recruits are planning to give out lap dances or nag criminals into submission I'd dare say that more women on the force only means bad news.

Also, I would expect more encounters with police and law abiding citizens to go sour because women (especially the "manish" ones attracted to law enforcement) react horribly in pressure situations and will most likely resort to overwhelming force without much provocation.

Local trees are shocked at Global Warming

Channel 9 reports that heat shock is likely the reason that local trees are dropping green leaves. I know that the fluctuating temperatures have been confusing the hell out me as well. Luckily, it's always 78 degrees and dank in my mom's basement.

Shocking case of child abuse in Kansas City

This horrific news story comes out of Kansas City. Thankfully, there seems to be a happy ending and the young man in question will most likely never face a beating again in the custody of his new guardians. Also, the Royals suck.

Sadly, the case of child abuse against a 32-month old toddler who was allegedly sodomized and severely beaten came to a horrible conclusion. The kid died today . . . Proving that child abuse is only funny when it happens to rich white kids and it's not fatal.

Planning your retirement

The author of local blog 'Happy in Bag' recently visited the Overland Park Arboretum and he was so impressed that he wants to continue going back well into his golden years. That's nice. Personally, I'd like re-invest my Social Security into helping young women attain a better education and making sure there is still a viable mob culture so that future generations will enjoy shows like The Sopranos (great episode last night). That's why I plan to become a patron of strip clubs and casinos in my old age . . . Which really isn't much different than what I do now . . . Makes sense, they say if you're doing what you love then you don't need a vacation and you don't want to retire.

And off they go into obscurity

The Star recently listed their 30 under 30. While I hope all of these young turks go on to do well (not really), you have to admit that being put on one of these lists is like the kiss of death.

Having your "brilliance" pointed out at a young age is the best way to ruin it. Trendy lists make for great copy but I'm convinced that they're all just as cursed as the Best New Artist Grammy. Take a gander:

One of the worst hits made by the curse was to pop-goth band Evanescence when after winning the award two of the three original members left, the lead singers relationship broke up, the lead singer was sexually assaulted, the other lead singer was sued, the new lead guitarist suffered a stroke and the album suffered a delay from the originally planned release date of January 2004 to October 2006

While this fate seems fitting for a goth band, I'm sure the "best new" curse had something to do with it.

That's why I'm always inspired by Col. Sanders . . . The guy hit his stride late in life. I mean, sure he was a Colonel and all but he didn't come up with his major contribution to humanity (namely his delicious chicken) until his golden years and yet it's still with us today. Whereas barely anybody I know listens to that Mozart guy despite that movie and the pretty decent song by Falco.

Teaching Kids a Hard Lesson

The KCMO School District is in the process of selecting a Superintendent which will culminate this week. Community involvement is encouraged and there are a number of events scheduled where the public can not only meet the candidates but also ask them questions.

While that's all well and good, these types of functions don't really give us any insight into the character of the people wanting to take charge of our perennially crappy schools. First of all, interviews are going to be conducted by current members of the KC School Board and it's clear that they don't know anything about running a school district so they'll hardly know which questions to ask. Also, you only catch people on their best behavior during job interviews.

It's more important to know how a person performs under pressure.

That's why I'd like to nominate the Metro principal accused of choking a third grader. Not because I approve of choking kids (at least not all the time) but because you know where the guy stands. He's not going to be pushed around, least of all by any of his students . . . No matter how big or (in this case) small. This kind of approach could turn things around for the district.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those crazy people who advocates more "discipline" in school and that corporal punishment nonsense. It's just that so few people understand what a real "education" really entails. Facts, figures, numbers . . . These are minor concerns . . . The most important thing an educated person learns is simply how to learn. (Bad grammar aside)

Anyway, there are also some choice lessons which we learn that are completely unrelated to the 4 R's but still manage to influence us throughout our lives. For instance, in Catholic School I learned that Mexicans are an unwanted sub group that merely exist to serve white people . . . With that knowledge I am qualified to be Chairman of the RNC. Other lessons include: Women coming to the understanding that self-esteem is only for men, good students quickly realize never to question authority and we all discover that the ranking of our school is directly proportionate to how many Black people attend.

Therefore, I'm sure that the child choking principal is sure to teach the kids of KC a few things they'll never forget. Mainly that you better not ever mess with the guy on a bad hair day or whatever. And still, this would be a more substantive education than what many KCMO School District kids currently receive.

Cowtown Corral: Carnival Carnage and other disasters over the weekend

- Carnival of Carnage: Three persons were shot late Saturday near a busy carnival at Bannister Mall in Kansas City, police said.

- KC Company AMC does right by a retired Marine (after a ton of public pressure).

- What Happens in KC: The locals want to lure a Vegas convention so that we can show them that real gambling involves ignoring infrastructure needs and city services in hopes that condo dwellers will pay all our debts.

- KCK tries to play catch up with deadly shootings.

- Horribly cruel joke to start this week: You'd kill yourself too if you lived in Independence, MO.

- Old grave dug up to solve mystery that you never cared about.

- A message from Daniel Porter . . . Other than custody battles will destroy you and everyone you ever loved.

Blogger Backtalk: Seeing red and getting the blues when it comes to baseball and everything else in KC

- According to this blogger, Cardinals fans flood Royals Stadium with red during an unexpected sellout and still "the Royals also managed to lose the game in yet another exciting way."

- This is just funny: "I'm watching a Royals game. There is not enough Tequila on the planet to make that a pleasurable experience."

- This town is broke in every sense of the word: "Term limits and the Republican takeover of state government left Democratic KC with reduced clout in the capital."

- If I haven't mentioned it already (I did): Read The Tomahawk Blog. The guy was on a roll over the weekend.

- I talk to a lot of people about blogs. I always ask them for their favorites. They always mention Pomegranate Pretty. Here's one more reason why.

More illegal dumping

KC crooks continue to litter the streets with bodies despite evidence that violent crime and the murder rate are dropping. I guess nobody offered local murderers a lesson in statistics.

Lee's Summit drug operation takes in $150,000 in just one weekend

And it was all brought down by a guy arguing with some broad . . . That, and the constant suspicious car traffic that accompanies most drug houses. Anyway, we've all learned a valuable lesson here: Eventually, women and drugs will ruin you . . . Which one is quicker is up to debate.

$80 million early childhood center in KCK

Will clearly be more valuable than poor people taking care of their own babies. Also, social service agencies and construction companies eager to feed at the teat of public subsidies.

KC hospitals extend $669 million a year in freebies

Inflated PR stats intended to battle the common perception that being uninsured is the best way to die a slow and agonizing death: Priceless.

Let your love flow

Good news, Third World nations are getting a water break so that they can be more efficiently provide this country with goods and services. WaterPartners International, a Kansas City nonprofit organization, has received a $4 million grant to continue providing safe drinking water to poor communities worldwide.

Hollywood plan puts landowners rights on the D-list

All of the new development in KCK seems to be leaving property rights out of the storyline. A few landowners are worried that the grandiose schemes will leave them more exposed that Sharon Stone and out of luck and money like the backers of Oliver Stone's work.

But a proposal to build a $350 million, Hollywood-style film and music studio on 500 acres of their land has raised concerns among them. Rather than someday selling their homes or land for a sizeable profit, they worry that they could be told when to sell - and to whom.

It's a rough situation but I wouldn't expect a Hollywood ending . . . Unless you mean that it's all nothing more than hype and the public hands over their money for schlocky, meaningless entertainment.

Steve Harvey has little tolerance for anything other than ugly hats

Hate to say it, but Steve Penn files a pretty great column to day regarding Steve Harvey's recent appearance in KC.

I don't know if any of Harvey's insights qualify as jokes but apparently had some pretty harsh things to say about hip-hop, radio stations that play hip-hop and people who make jokes about bitches women.

'Where did we go wrong as black people and make the turn where we stopped writing love songs and started calling our women out of their name?' Harvey said. 'What year did it occur in that we started calling our mothers, our aunts and grandmothers out of their name? We can't sit around letting that continue to go down.'

This may be true but it's not funny. And I've always believed that was the whole point of being a comedian.

In fact, I've always found Harvey's act was too reminiscent of one of my uncles complaining about everything under the sun. I guess it's a good thing that his show is doing well but I've always thought he needed more jokes about ho's, more references to hip-hop and maybe a series of diss jokes directed at other comedians to make him more relevant.

A tribute to this town's tree huggers

We all know that the leading cause of environmentalism is the lack of attention given to ugly children. Well, here is your chance to save the environment and help a few local corn flakes with their (hopeless) cause.

The Green Neighborhoods Festival takes place at Troostwood Garden at 52nd and Paseo Saturday, May 20, 10:00 AM to 4:00 PM.

Oops, it's probably already to late to attend this event in much the same respect as it's too late to save the environment. Isn't it ironic? Anyway, the important thing is that Caucasian women wearing the latest in hemp fashions had their day in KC to curb their white guilt. And while that doesn't help the planet . . . It may (or may not) contribute to clearing the air.

Cowtown Tourists

In most cases, visitors to this town are a gigantic pain in the ass. However, their money is the most rewarding thing of all. Here are some KC Travel Industry stats courtesy of KC Infozine:

• The Kansas City area annually hosts 16.5 million visitors.


• Travel and Tourism generates $3.15 billion in visitor spending in the 5-county region of Jackson, Clay, Platte, Johnson and Wyandotte each year.


• Travel and Tourism supports more than 66,000 jobs in the 5-county region, which equals 7.6% of all jobs in Kansas City-the 8th largest source of employment in the area.


• Travel and Tourism generates more than $270 million in local tax revenue in the five-county region each year.


• Travel and Tourism revenues reduce potential taxes to the average household in the five-county region by $421 each year.
  

All of this coupled with the fact that tourists keep our local escorts (and subsequently, The Pitch) in business. Sure, while it may be a pain in the ass constantly giving people directions to The Plaza or laughing as you send them to the East side and hope they don't get lost on the way to visit the 18th and Vine District . . . I guess it's worth it to encourage visitors in this town other than Mexicans.

City Sells Homes at a loss

Yet another example that KCMO doesn't know much about the real estate game. In other news, I think I'm gonna ask for TIF money in order to build a tree house.

The end of a sad story

Channel 9 reports that the 14-year-old boy who had been at the center of a local legal battle between his family and KU Med was removed from life support Friday.

However, with all the propaganda talk about the importance of life and God and whatever, the most striking thing about this story is that the kid's organs are not being donated. So, basically life is important for the kid but not all those poor bastards turning yellow while hoping for a motorcycle crash and a new liver.

Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with questioning a doctor's judgment in much the same way that the selfish decision of the kid's family should be examined and noted . . . Whether or not it was the result of grief or otherwise.

The important thing about this story is that it brought to light the fact that these life and death decisions aren't only played out in the media but they are a regular part of our lives and should be discussed openly . . . Sadly, my loved ones are afraid to give me any instructions regarding their last wishes because I'm really only curious about how much money I'll get in the will and a decent chunk of change might inspire me to put them out of their misery in their sleep when it's time to cover my bar tab.

This local blogger's book is gonna be big

Joe shares his good news as the rest of us eagerly await his book. As Donald Trump would say, "It's gonna be hUUUUGE!"

Because no one wants to admit their daughter is a whore

There are so many opinions regarding the new HPV vaccine. But, as usual, TFK puts things into perspective and offers the following insightful idea for your consideration: "Why these allegedly pro-life groups would have favored cervical cancer in the first place is left as an exercise for the reader."

We all have our regrets

Thanks to Chris from the comments who noticed what seems like regret from The Star over acting like a hooker at the behest of our billionaire sports franchise owners. Thankfully, the beer goggles are off and our local rag paper of record realizes the ugly consequences of backing yet another rolling roof ripoff attempt. Here's the money quote:

The Star has supported the concept of building a rolling roof at the sports complex, especially because it would allow Kansas City to play host to a Super Bowl in 2015. However, the project should not move forward without more money from the Chiefs.

It's time to get creative.

Actually, the Chiefs paying for their own money making ventures isn't really that creative. Also, if you haven't yet checked it out Tomahawk blog is a great resource for all things related to the Chiefs. I recently added them to the blogroll, give them a read and tell them I sent you.

The Dinosaurs Honor Their Own

Editor & Publisher describes itself as "America's Oldest Journal Covering the Newspaper Industry" and they have recently seen fit to bestow their blessing on my sworn enemy Greg Reeves.

The Star gives their favorite employee a plug today as well with a big ass photo and a smallish interview with the author of the splog. Here's a taste:

"Dialogue and interactivity are crucial to the blog, but the blog itself is the day's crime news first and crime-related news with an attitude second," Reeves said Friday. "I love writing Crime Scene KC, and I hope it continues to be an active and constructive community dialogue."

I have no idea what he's talking about since the guy deletes most of my comments. Still, I guess it's a nice gesture considering that rumors abound that layoffs AND A LOT OF THEM are coming at The Star. It's a dubious honor if you ask me (jealous) because if your failing industry is telling you that you're doing something right it's only because you are following them into oblivion. In my opinion, it's the equivalent of your mother telling you that you're good looking.

Sour grapes? Obviously. There is supposed to be some camaraderie among bloggers but I think that kind of thing ends behind the cold glass walls of this town's corporate rag especially since few if any newspapers hire minorities at any significant level and The Star hasn't been very supportive of this town's other blogs in the least.

It's over for the little guy in KC

I never thought I would write a requiem for a porn shop but the passing of Valentine Video stirs something in my soul.

Valentine weathered the storm of corporate chain video rental outlets and then the rise of mail order video Internet ventures like Netflix. Still, in the end, the wide scale availability of porn over high speed Internet connections in the privacy of YOUR home is what proved to be the downfall of the KC institution. Oh the irony, home video was destroyed by the overwhelming desire of the public to stay at home.

Valentine Video taught me about sex. Valentine Video did not teach me to objectify women, Catholic School did that . . . However, Valentine Video did clue me into the reality that everybody, I mean EVERYONE, watches porn. The fact that this hole in the wall (ewwwww) lasted so long is a testament to how much people love to look at other people doing the nasty.

Before I became a complete germaphobe I used to love renting porn from Valentine Video. The place literally sustained me through one horrible relationship after the next. Bad date? No problem, the "backdoor babes" were waiting for me at home. Girlfriend won't let you talk to her until you set a date for marriage? The beautiful women featured in the Hot Asian Sluts series would never pressure me for a commitment. Is yet another girlfriend hung up about virginity (even though she would eventually end up doing it with everybody but me)? The MILFs on screen know all about life's strange twists and turns and they are there only for your entertainment and not to judge you.

Yup, porn is the cause of and answer to most relationship problems.

Only later did I realize how many people handled those video boxes and what they did with them and how nasty people are . . . Subsequently, I also learned that wearing gloves in the summer to check out a couple of videos just looks silly. So I abandoned my favorite porn store in its hour of need. Internet porn is even more inviting and the skanks online are even more accessible for the same cost as one rental. The only downside is that there are an equal number of viruses on the Internet as in the real porn world and you must stay clear of any stuff that's too unsavory (read: German) because it's just nasty and you don't want any Sheriff posing as a 16 year old girl (ghey) luring (entrapping) you at some convenience store parking lot. Luckily, I never had to worry about any of that stuff because my tastes are pretty prosaic . . . The trinity of porn if you will: MILFs, lipstick lesbians and Asian women. Of course, porn involving minors is disgusting and I wouldn't want to see any of it ever but a few of the "Grandmas gone Wild" clips I've seen make me think that stuff should be illegal as well . . . But I digress.

The point of this post is that it's not only sad that a local merchant is going out of business but also that smut is making it's way out of the public space and that's dangerous because it makes people believe it has disappeared. Not true, the porn business is bigger than ever with huge mainstream communication companies earning portions of their profits from the distribution, sale and production of pornography. When you see video stores and strip clubs thriving (making cash hand over fist) from the peddling of sleaze it's hard to cast aspersions on those businesses because so many of your fellow constituents, colleagues and co-workers are enjoying the explicit material. But in the privacy of your own home it's pretty much a secret at least until the NSA wants to find out.

So the passing of Valentine Video proves to be yet another way that the hypocrisy of so many people in this country stays hidden . . . So many people can still pretend that they don't watch porn, they don't know that Chinese toddlers make all of the cheap merchandise at Wal-Mart, that oil flows at the cost of countless lives, that the diamond on a wedding ring contributes to unthinkable suffering even more horrific than married life, that the food you eat is picked and probably prepared by the very same Mexicans you want to go home and the fact that the Da Vinci Code is most likely a horrible movie but the real reason you hate it without even reading/seeing it is because you're (I'm) afraid that so many of the things we believe are based on lies . . . But more importantly Tom Hanks' hair in the film scares me in my weaker moments.

KC is so fucking corrupt it makes me sad

Here we go again. If at first billionaires don't succeed then they try again and again until voter apathy wins the day along with a brainwashing media blitz. Voters of this town will once again be forced to tell the Chiefs NO regarding their stupid rolling roof designs. It's pretty much the same proposal but I can only hope that they change the lame covered wagon design.

In April, voters defeated a plan that would have put a $200 million movable roof over Arrowhead and Kauffman stadiums. About $170 million of that would have been generated by a new use tax, paid mostly by businesses. The rest would have come from the Chiefs and the sale of naming rights.

County Legislator Dennis Waits gets the blame for reintroducing this pig to the public. But it's important to remember that so many public officials, business leaders and this town's paper of record bent over backwards to push this thing through last time and will most likely do so again. It's just so disappointing that this issue is back once more to remind everybody in Kansas City that it's really sweet, sweet construction money that makes the world turn for politicos. Clearly, their interests run in direct opposition to the majority of (broke ass) citizens of Jackson County who will ultimately be forced to pick up the tab so that billionaires can make more money and the people of Johnson County will have an even nicer venue for their entertainment.

State of Disgrace

To me, Country Club Kay Barnes sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher whenever she makes a speech. All I hear is "wonk, wonk, wonk." Apparently, in her recent state of the city address she took on a few of her critics (75% of the city) and urged people ignore any concerns about the local real estate bubble bursting, rising interest rates, this town's debt load or KC's shitty sewers and even shittier streets . . . All is well and long as you believe it and greater fools keep on buying luxury urban housing.

A question for the ages

The blogger behind 'What the Deuce?' wonders who thought up a poorly scheduled drinking event.

Q. Who plans a pub crawl on a fucking Thursday night?
A. Dumb shits from Waldo that's who.

I agree, this event doesn't sound like the best of times but the old adage that keeps alcoholics and liquor stores in business is: It's 5 p.m. somewhere. Also, drunks rarely need an excuse to start drinking. There are also a few other great musings in this post that happen to be much more insightful than what you might hear from a barfly . . . And at the very least you don't have leave the blog like you would a nightclub; smelling like smoke and wondering what nasty things you accidentally touched on the restroom door handle.

Weekend Show Picks from The Event Driver

Listen up, the Event Driver was good enough to send us his weekly list of links and show listings. Check'em out for more details on the following:

The Symphony at the Lyric...
Michael Burks at Knuckleheads...
Metal Fest in Westport...
Coda Jazz Benefit at The GEM...
Big Joe Turner's BDay Bash at BB's...
Old School Knights at Odowd's North...
KKFI Fund Raiser at Just Off Broadway...
Links to Barley's, 75th Street Brewery, O'Dowd's, 810 Zone, Blue Moose,
Davey's Uptown, Hurricane, Jardine's, The Beaumont, 4 Fried Chickens &
A Coke, Andy Masters, Mickey Finn Band, Sean McNown, KC All Stars, Baby

Vinyl is back in Kansas City

Lately, The Pitch has been light in terms of local coverage. Most of you may not know this because you only read the thing for the ads featuring hookers or to locate different sex shops around town. Also, while I like the new "Ask a Mexican" syndicated column they picked up . . . Everyone knows there are much better venues than The Pitch if you wanted to learn something about Mexicans.

However, a recent article on local music stores selling vinyl records offers a fascinating look at one of my favorite old technologies and the enthusiasm it has created among my fellow local luddites.

Here are a few of the shops listed by the article:

• The Music Exchange (relocated in The West Bottoms)


• Zebedee's, in a brightly painted house near West 39th Street and Roanoke.


• And coming soon, currently under construction but still open: The Little Red Rooster which (or may not) be located in the basement of Prospero's Books.

The article is really interesting and offers some great information if you like visiting music shops that make you feel a tad uneazy or dirty when you walk in . . . All the good ones are supposed to do that. Also, buying vinyl records is the only thing cooler than simply stealing all your music off the Internet. In conclusion, ITunes is the AOL of the music industry.

KC Cop wins $27,777

It's not enough to retire but it's a nice chunk of change and well deserved considering that city workers don't make nearly enough. The guy is a Police Department detention officer so I'm sure the inmates will appreciate his better mood.

Deadbeat Dads should only be able to drive to work

A new Kansas law provides reason #4,872 why you should never get married and always wear a condom . . . Even when you're not having sex, just in case.

"Where in the Kansas City metro area do nerds congregate?"

You know, other than local government offices. This local blogger needs your help. Send him your suggestions. I'd like to know as well just in case I need a quick workout and get bored with using a punching bag.

Wal-Mart Equals Higher Poverty Rates

KC Infozine publishes this article promoting the latest issue of Social Science Quarterly in which a few very educated academics inform us of what everyone already knows.

A name for the new Independence hospital

HCA Midwest will call their new money making operation hospital: Centerpoint Medical Center of Independence . . . Whereas the rest of us will refer to it by the following monikers:

• Meth Memorial


• Mullet Medical Plaza


• "I hope my husband won't notice the baby is Black" Medical complex


• Where we go to steal Oxycontin


• Heaven's waiting room for the good hill folk
  

Local big pharma company shakes out more sales

Teva Neuroscience Inc., a KC company, will handle the sales of a new Parkinson's drug.

Something to do tonight, you artsy bastard

This sounds pretty cool if your idea of art is something other than the stuff you "read" that comes in brown paper bag.

Join the Downtown Council, 360 Architecture and DST for a street party at 12th & Central, from 5- 7 pm, Thursday May 18, to kick off the Avenue of the Arts 2006 installation.

The goal of the program is to encourage locals and visitors to stroll down the street and enjoy street-level outdoor art installations from May through September each year. "Avenue of the Arts is about experiencing art as you walk or drive down the street. It's not in a museum or gallery, we want the public to enjoy a variety of local talent," said Jim Calcara, a principal at 360 Architecture. 360 Architecture is the founding sponsor of the annual exhibit. The selected artists for 2006 are: Miki Baird, Susan White, Jorge Garcia Margaret & Rolf Brommelsiek, Milton F. Stevenson, V Julia Cole/Leigh Rosser.

Another barrel body found

Suspicions about John E. Robinson are surfacing around this case as well. Could this be the Slavemaster's handiwork? I hope there are not a lot of other people with a proclivity for chopping women up and putting them in barrels . . . It's a sick sexual fetish which is only slightly worse than some of the pervs who identify themselves as a Furry lifestyler.

Biking byproducts

This local blogger laments all of the accessories involved with getting to work by bike. Way too much for me and it sounds a whole lot more cumbersome than car keys.

Kona Grill Review from a local blogger

Sushi, skanks and expensive drinks were the top things on the menu. This blogger makes some great observations while watching the local scenesters and their hero worship of one the NFL's most mediocre teams.

I had heard once that a lot of Chiefs players hang out at Kona. I can validate this rumor as truth as I saw a couple of them there. For every one of them, there were at least 6 ho's clamoring to be the date for the evening. Shameless skanks...Their Johnson county parents must be so proud. Their little girls with their advanced degree in party-planning, going out to score some big rich football player

You know, I thought there was another explanation for the fish smell that emanates from Chiefs players and this might be it. However, I still think it's the skanks and the smell of failure.

Celebrate with Pomegranate

Good times with this great local blogger.

"It's not Vietnam, It's not Vietnam, It's not Vietnam!"

Lawrence blogger Josh advises you to keep repeating this while covering your ears and eyes and hoping that will make it true.

A record for the Royals

This blogger points out they are now the (not so proud) new owners major league's all-time worst road start.

Meet the bloke behind the Brand New Butler Building near the Nelson

I might have already linked this but it's so interesting you can probably listen to it twice: An Interview with Architect Stephen Holl.

A eulogy for the "Father of Kansas City baseball"

From the Northeast News article: "Kansas City had the Unions. Known "un" affectionately at times as the "onions," our first major-league team came in 1884, thanks to a man named Americus McKim." A great story about KC's history of shitty baseball teams.

Yael Abouhalkah loves tax increases

Here's the money line from a column featured today in The Star about the city wasting a good portion of the funds set aside for infrastructure improvements:

"And yes, Kansas Citians, it could take a tax increase to more effectively fix basic assets."

Either that or it could take a mayor who wasn't so ruthlessly dedicated to building monuments to herself like some kind of crazy Egyptian pharaoh (funny if you remember that it was the Tall Israelis who got her elected like every other Mayor "they" pick for this town). Good to know that Mr. Boom-shaka-laka-boom-shaka-laka-boom has found a cozy spot in Country Club Kay's crotch now that he is out of the pocket of the Stadium Tax supporters.

Buckle up your baby better than Britney

Britney Spears is trying to kill her child and now the Midwest must pay the price. As part of a new traffic safety bill in Missouri and new measures in Kansas your babies should be strapped down in the car as if they were hot beverages.

Maybe this will do some good . . . In prolonging childhood. While I support the safety of the babies, most kids want out of the booster seats as soon as possible . . . I know I told my mom there was no way I was sitting in a booster like she made me during the last time we went to IHOP.

Keep your laws off my lack of commitment

Channel 9 reports that the city council in Blackjack, MO has rejected a measure allowing unmarried couples with multiple children to live together. A bi-racial couple (of course) could soon be forced to move out of the town.

Olivia Shelltrack and Fondrey Loving were denied an occupancy permit after moving into a home in this St. Louis suburb because they have three children and are not married.

The troubling thing about this story is not that the local government is up in their Kool-Aid but simply the fact that the "live-in loophole" for men who want in-house poon tang and maid service is facing a serious threat.

Obviously, the state wants to make sure that the guy picks up the tab if anything goes sour in the relationship. Marriage is the best way to ensure that the guy will always be forced to pay for his rugrats and the future (depressing) dating life of his current partner should there be a divorce. But the guy has the right to look out for his own interests as well . . . There is no better way to keep a woman in check than to keep on promising her that you'll marry her one day. This guy has amazingly been able to work that trick for more than a decade. Bravo.

This is a clear cut case of trying to legislate morality but it's also a health and public safety issue. If men are not allowed to use their skill and manipulate women into no win situations then clearly the government is pushing us all toward frequenting only prostitutes and strippers . . . And those bitches can't cook.

Local bikers keep quiet but don't move out of the way

A bike ride in silence serves as a tribute to all of the people recently killed in the Metro while riding bikes. Few of them deserved it no matter how you feel about their skimpy, embarrassing shorts.

Oh, the places you'll go

Recently, an Alzheimer's patient went missing from his KCK home. Hopefully, they'll find him and tell him that he has been on a wonderful adventure . . . Skiing, mountain climbing, spending a lot of money and dating the Hilton Sisters. He won't remember the difference anyway.

Man Wanted In KC Murder Caught In Dallas

Luck finally runs out for suspected casino shooter.

E.T. Go Home!

The Whole Wheat Blogger proclaims: "I will never support open borders, and I will never support amnesty for illegal aliens."

However, I bet he'll support the American agricultural industry by eating some lettuce or grapes. Also, I don't notice that anybody supports higher housing costs of which many Mexicans help to keep in check by providing cheap (back breaking) labor.

But, every mojado in a car crash must mean were all here just to shoot our six guns, drink tequila and have sex with your family.

Still, I respect the Whole Wheat Blogger and his opinions but I'd like to have a little immigration primer for any white person who wants to speak intelligently on the subject:

• "You aren't against immigration, you're against 'ILLEGAL' immigration." This statement is a cop-out. This means that you like the nerdy Asian guy in your office who kisses your ass but you're scared to be in a Mexican neighborhood for anything other than purchasing Meth or picking up tamales. It's like saying you like rap music but hate rhyming. Most (almost all) immigrants in this country are illegal . . . This is why lawmakers are working to remedy a system that is broken, doesn't meet the demands of the U.S. labor market and MISTAKENLY categorizes undocumented workers as illegal when their employment, residency and contribution to this nation tacitly implies that undocumented workers do, in fact, have a place in this country. Call it a de facto standard in much the same way gung ho Americans want English to be considered the official language of this country. (Note: In actuality the official language of this country is Ebonics.)


• "My forefathers came to this country legally." No they didn't. Unless I see passport with a Native American stamp on it then your white relatives were the beneficiaries of genocide and theft. Only Black people can use this excuse because their "immigration" (read: kidnapping and enslavement) was perfectly legal according to the slave owners who founded this country. On a more serious note, a guy at the end of a dock with a clipboard does not equal SUVs, automatic weapon carrying border agents and helicopters with night vision.
  


• "I'm not racist" Now this is just funny. It's like someone trying to claim they're not crazy; you seldom take their word for it. There is nothing more comical than a white person vehemently denying they are racist because the simple fact that you felt you needed to mention it means that you're probably racist.


• Finally, before you get all high and mighty about "the rule of law" and other stuff that nobody believes when it comes time to steal cable please remember that the grandparents of this country's top cop were most likely illegal immigrants.
  

You've been schooled. Now please go and enjoy your burrito.

Jim Talent tries to hide his bad idea

A plan to give out $100 checks to all taxpayers to help buy gas didn't work out. Talent's Republican buddies made fun of him and most likely advised him to take some of his own cash and buy a clue.

Fear the Independence, MO love knife

Silly mullet wearer, knives are for trimming your chops or eating peas and not stabbing your father.

The War Against Terror earns a victory against stoners

KSHB reports that the owner of two 7th Heaven stores in Kansas City and Sedalia, Mo., pleaded guilty in federal court today to selling illegal drug paraphernalia. Oh, glorious day that pot heads will no longer be able to get high unless they learn how to cut a hole in an apple!

Should he stay or should he go?

If it's a right to life case then it might make the national news but if it's a medical malpractice case then it might actually earn the family some money. The safe bet is latter and only because the right to life movement doesn't really care about minorities or dead minority babies at all.

Smoke Out

I guess it's unreasonable to expect a local dumbass to understand the basic principles of fire. Channel 9 reports:

A home at 33rd Street and Mersington Avenue was damaged by fire Wednesday when a man tried to smoke out a family of raccoons that had invaded his home . . . The man told KMBC's Maria Antonia that he had a rag with kerosene on it on the end of the stick, and he was trying to get the animals out when the eaves caught fire.

Also, the headline calls them "varmints" because apparently their Granny from The Beverly Hillbillies is writing the news today. Which makes me wonder if the word "vittles" can be reliably translated from Independence, MO speak.

And when the took all privacy away from the pervs I said nothing

New details in Missouri's sex offender registry not only worries defense lawyers but also provides better afternoon reading for bored housewives than a Jackie Collins novel.

Is it wrong to steal from the elderly?

It's not like they won't get to meet new people when they are evicted from their homes and carted away by social services AND I bet they've made wonderful advances in cat food. Hell, cats seem to love it. Here's the related story from The Biz Journal: Donald Wayne Evans, 67, of Phoenix, formerly of Kansas City, was sentenced Tuesday for a fraud scheme in which he bilked Independence-area elderly victims of their savings, U.S. Attorney Bradley Schlozman for the Western District of Missouri said in a release.

Blogger Backtalk: Keeping Current

• A current events roundup from the funniest man in Kansas City.


• Deep background (no homo) on the dumbass kid who stole a pricey bird in Gladstone.


• You could learn a lot from this local blogger. I think understanding the following sentiment is a prerequisite for adulthood: "Whenever I am feeling overwhelmed, feeling sorry for myself, feeling frustrated, feeling lacking, 98% of the time it is my own doing."


• They say that brevity is the soul of wit and also that quick posts like this crack me up: Local blogger Faith makes an interesting observation. I hope it's not weird that I find reading blog posts about bodily functions incredibly interesting.

You wouldn't want your kids hanging out at Dykes library

Modern technology is wonderful. Once we dreamed of the days when we'd have flying cars or robot hookers and now we live in an age where an (unreliable) software program does the job of a parent (poorly). We all know that Internet filters are unreliable and lame but today Boing Boing posts that they also prevent access to a local library.

For instance, one filtering program, SurfWatch, blocked the University of Kansas's Archie R. Dykes Medical Library website upon detecting the word "dykes."

I guess preventing your children from looking at boobies is far more important than encouraging them to undertake medical study. Thank heaven that computers can save the time you once wasted talking to your children and they finally prove useful for something other than arranging illicit meetings with minors.

P.S. - Is anybody else out there going to be watching a bunch of stupid pervs get busted on Dateline tonight? I'm going to make a night of it and maybe microwave some popcorn and put on my sweatpants so that my roaring belly laughs will not be encumbered.

"Just like an incongruous Spammobile parked in front of Crown Center"

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this photo make me want to burp.

New blog: Smells Like Bullshit

Good stuff from this Gladstone blogger. Give him a read. Happy Rock on.

New blog: The Martini Shaker

Great new blog added to the list from one of those creative types in KC. A nice read with an excellent bio page. Check it out.

You will never be America's Next Top Model

Forget your dreams of becoming a superstar who gets paid to eat salad, have sex with the lesser known members of bad emo bands and do lots and lots of coke. It'll never happen, not only because you're too fat, ugly and have no talent (join the club) but also because a local ad promising auditions for America's Next Top Model was a fake.

This is not to say that you may not one day achieve your 15 minutes of fame. But it will most likely be the result of some horrible crime or misdeed you've committed.

Also, I've noticed that almost every sentence with the word "model" in it somehow ends up turning out to be a lie.

"You look like a model, baby"

"I did a little bit of modeling but it was no big deal (read: please don't do a Google search on me and view the horrible evidence of my last breakup)"

"Take a look at this model home/loft/condo"

"We can model this (expensive) program in order to save our neighborhood/kids/schools/etc."

You know what I'm saying? Super models are born, not made and they are rarely discovered in a Podunk town like this unless they are being featured in the JC Penny catalog or some other kind of MILF/Ass/fetish degenerate rag.

Local Latino with over active imagination gets jail

Channel 9 reports that Jose Leon claimed a hit man was after officers, earlier he also made up stories about legal services he could provide to immigrants (illegal and otherwise). Now he's headed to the can where he'll have all day to concoct fabulous tales the will most likely focus on the main character desperately avoiding ass rape.

Celebrate the cultural heritage of Olathe

I know I'm always down to party. Sadly, the only other people that I know in that part of town are in jail.

Missouri Lotto must pay up

Old lottery ticket proves nearly as valuable as a good lawyer.

Hendricks on the Myrna Dick story: "A little discernment, a little justice"

KC columnist shares his opinion about a local immigration case while I'm assuming the rest of the Latinos at The Star have been deported.

Take your tamale and choke on it

This is a historic moment for Latinos across the nation and in Kansas City. This Midwestern town recently viewed one of the single largest protests in its history concerning the immigration issue. No matter how you feel about the subject, you no doubt recognize the importance of recent events regarding Latinos, immigration law and the role that race plays in the subject.

Meanwhile, today there is a story about tamales in today's Kansas City Star.

A few locals angry about sex offender coach

I guess having a sex offender as a coach is probably just a little more worrisome than the average creepy, trying to relive his glory days vicariously, too much time on his hands guy who normally offers to coach your children.

Gateway Closes KC Office

It's old news, a long time coming and not really that surprising but it might still inspire you to get bummed out and then get as high as the Dell dude in order to lift your spirits.

Is it a strip club or a restaurant?

I have no idea but I'd wear a condom either way while noting that a lot of South KC residents are very pissed off at the prospect of their new neighbors.

When parents are stool pigeons

Gladstone parents sung like a canary when their kid came home with a rare bird which was recently reported stolen.

I'm sure that you could argue that the parents did the right thing but there is also something to be said for encouraging you kids and supporting their endeavors . . . At least that's the case I'd try to make if I were the kid who will one day inevitably turn up on the Dr. Phil Show. Also, in order to patch up the obviously strained relationship it might be worthwhile if the parents did a little research on youth culture and maybe bought a couple of "stop snitchin" t-shirts as an attempt at reconciliation.

Gas prices aren't that bad

If local thugs are still able to engage in rolling gun battles then I think the price of gas shouldn't be a major concern.

Now when they start shooting each other on bikes that would not only be more entertaining but also require a lot more skill. Back when I was a kid, I was never able to balance a soda on my handlebars so I'm sure an AK-47 would require more skill.

Blogger Backtalk: Monkey Shines

I'll probably check back with bloglines a little later in the day but these are the two best and most informative local blog links I found this morning.

Some day's it sucks to be a shit flinging monkey

Woe to the urban tourist who tries to brave Northeast on the 30

The Incredible Shrinking Star

The Star's new look gets a lukewarm reaction from local bloggers. Local blog Happy in Bag calls it "Smaller. Sillier. Shoddier."

I don't know what to think of it but I'm sure that pets all over the city still find it useful.

Really, I once looked up to journalism as some kind of noble profession but after The Star's season of PR sponsorship of the Stadium issue I really just think that everything that comes out of that paper is somehow slanted toward the interests of people or a cause of which I'm not even aware. I knew a little bit about the Stadium issue so I knew they were being disingenuous and one-sided but there are so many things that I have no clue about and I no longer trust The Star to be even the slightest bit objective or even handed. While I expect that from a blog, look for it even, it's simply a sad state of affairs for a place that's supposed to be this town's paper of record.

So good luck to them as they rearrange deck chairs on the Titanic otherwise known as print media.

"The Crossroads infoshop is inching closer to re-opening"

This is good news because sometimes I don't feel like enough of a dirty hippie/commie hanging out in the cultural studies section at Borders bookstore.

The immigration debate has now become serious

It's moved to the Waffle House. Drudge reports that gunfire erupts after a "discussion" regarding immigration turned (even more) ugly (than usual). I don't know what this means for KC given that this town hosts several Waffle House franchises and even more people with guns and dumb opinions in which they believe very strongly.

More real estate pipe dreams on the Westside

Local blogger Cara does some excellent research regarding new home construction on the Westside. Here are the important details:

Christopher and Andrew Wilson have assembled the necessary properties along Jefferson Street and want to build a block-long stretch of 3,000- to 5,000-square-foot, three-level houses that would include elevators, wine cellars, balconies, multiple fireplaces and two-car garages . . . The design of the houses calls for a traditional brick facade facing the neighborhood west across Jefferson. The east side would be more contemporary, with plenty of windows and outdoor terraces to take advantage of the downtown panorama. Prices are expected to start at $1.2 million . . . The project, which has the working title Jefferson Heights, would probably sweep away two neighborhood fixtures. The developers have bought the futuristic L-shaped house at 1745 Jefferson, a high-profile landmark overlooking Interstate 35 since 1981. They also have an option to buy the Good Shepherd Lutheran Mission at 1755 Jefferson.

Nice that they're tearing down a church to build a monument to greed. I hope they install a golden calf as artwork for the new development. However, I don't really care because I'm not Lutheran.

I've noted many times that I'm a Westside resident and it's been fun the last few years watching Country Club Kay sellout this neighborhood at every turn and also to watch more than a few overly optimistic high end real estate ventures fail miserably. Seems as if these guys are accustomed to failure as their Plaza venture seems to have hit one major snag: No buyers.

I should mention on that very same block there is a crack head who constantly bothers people for money and (break) dances in the street after he gets his fix. The developers should be sure to mention live entertainment as another one of the amenities.

A Seven Minute Interview with Mark Forsythe

I learned a lot of things from my interview last with City Council Candidate Mark Forsythe. After the interview I had to look up the definition of "Modified Accrual" but that's okay. The most important thing I learned was that Mark is the best candidate for the job in my opinion. Not only was I impressed with his views regarding infrastructure and the city's budget concerns but also with his intimate knowledge of his district. Also, most you know that he runs his own blog which he designed himself just like most bloggers. He demonstrates all of those things in this video that probably provides more information about a City Council Candidate than any of the TV news stations combined.

Additionally, it was nice to see a leader from KC acknowledge the Internet with something besides scorn. In the interview Mark mentions some of his favorite pages:

BlogKC
KC Soil
Me, My life and infrastructure
KC Development and Skyscrapers Forum

It was good meeting Mark Forsythe and it'll be even better voting for him.

Here's the interview:

The Devil Made Him Do It

The Star reports that a Gladstone man was charged in Clay County with first-degree assault and armed criminal action for striking his brother in the head with a hatchet.

The assailant told authorities he attacked his brother because the devil was trying to take his soul. Apparently, the guy had to stop the devil from "using his brother" and a hit to the head with a hatchet seemed like the best way to do it.

I'm glad to report my brother is in town this week and we've never had any kind of problem like this even though he claims I'm being used by the "devil" because of my love of white women. Thankfully, he's into Middle-Eastern broads and Latinas so there has never been a conflict. God help us when one of us dates a hot ass Asian hoochie.

Local Hipsters Beware!

Vespa Bandits lurk the streets of KC.

A recent victim of a near hipster bike hijacking was a "17-year-old son of a high-ranking city official." The report doesn't reveal the identity but it does provide a clue: "The victim's father has previously expressed concerns about the Police Department's slow response to 911 calls during peak times." Also, The Star didn't release the name because the thieves are still in possession of the kid's keys . . . Even though it's not likely that the crooks read our daily rag since fewer people do everyday.

Luckily, the scooter was a piece of crap so it didn't work . . . If the kid is related to a KC official then obviously he's accustomed to failure on the roads of this town. Also, the article seems to lament the violence and crime in KC but it's a nice example of a local leader having to deal with that problem on a level that's not merely a bunch of complaints from constituents.

Buck O'Neil stays classy

I hate myself for liking this pretty decent column by Steve Penn regarding yet another snub to Buck O'Neil by the United Steroid Pushers of America Major League Baseball.

Leawood considers smoking ban

It's an important move to make the air cleaner for the many lawyers residing in the sterile suburb who defend the tobacco companies.

Myrna Dick might be allowed to return

U.S. Rep. Emanuel Cleaver is getting involved as part of what might be a wise effort to prove that not all Black people hate Mexicans. Politically it's a good move because he wasn't going to get any votes from his anti-brown people Republican adversaries anyway.

From a different perspective, The Star totally stole Channel 9's thunder on this story. Once again, the free market works to the benefit of Mexicans, corporations and the consumer. It's what makes this a great company country.

BlogKC: "State of the City Address"

Click the link for the details. I'm surprised they aren't just holding the press conference from a cocktail party in an overpriced downtown loft.

My Dad thinks my girlfriend looks like the woman in those Sonic commercials

I have to say there is a resemblance. I hope I'm not as dorky as her husband. Thank you Sheri, for the link. She now admits that it could be true. There's a great article today in The Star about the commercials and their recent filming around town.

Still, I thought the ads featuring the two Sonic guys were previews for Brokeback Mountain.

Stolen bird in Gladstone is worth 16-hundred dollars

OR . . . I had no idea there was a black market for such an expensive wing dinner.

Top baby names in Kansas

Aiden and Emma is what you'll be calling boring Kansas couples a generation from now.

Business gets bigger in KC

Facts and figures about growing companies in KC. Your boss is rich, bitch!!!

County spokesman changes jobs

Will now be lying obfuscating for the Prosecutors office. Note: I had no idea the County had a spokesman, I simply thought it communicated by smoke signals emanating from Katherine Shields big fat ass which was rumored to be quivering with anger (gross) over the quick announcement of this guy's job hopping.

"To save money, many women are going it alone."

The story is about women entrepreneurs and not female masturbation which I thought was a myth but it turns out to be a viable alternative to sticking with some lame dude. Shudder to think . . .

Crown Center gift shop/non profit program works to prevent domestic violence

It's a nice story about a good program. Somehow I think it would be more effective it was a gun shop, baseball bat outlet or frying pan store that housed the domestic abuse prevention program for young women.

Police: Double Shooting Gang-Related

Last year's horrible spike in the murder rate was more a collection of stupid encounters. If gang violence is added to the mix there is no telling what kind of trouble this city (mainly the East side) is headed for . . .

The Print Media Wants You Dead

KCTV 5 reports that a woman was killed in a crash with newspaper delivery truck overnight. It's a sad story but obviously the newspaper industry is dying and it's going to take a few people with it like a clichéd character from an action movie.

Guardsman Reacts To Bush's Border Plan

Good interview with a decent guy. Little known fact: I've heard that many U.S. soldiers would like to go up against any kind of white person for a change.

Bartender Claims Bill Maas Touched Her Inappropriately

Who says that the Chiefs don't give back to the community? Even if the story regarding allegations of pervy behavior from a former Chiefs great does emanate from the abundantly shitty STL, it's an important story of how former and current Chiefs players are always willing to put themselves out for their fans . . . As long as those fans are hot skanky hookers, strippers, bartenders or other prostitutes of some sort.

Also, I don't want you to get a bad impression of the former Chiefs player so here are photos of him smiling in the presence of a couple of beautiful things that were killed for entertainment:

"The anti-immigrant movement has jumped the shark"

TFK finds some anti-immigrant writing urging this nation to enact the polices of Nazi Germany. Great find, good stuff and sadly . . . At least the guy is honest.

Learn French in Two Hours

Informative link regarding language lessons from a local blogger. Lesson number one: "I surrender!"