Nobody likes tired, poor, crazy immigrants

Homeless African immigrant Berhanu T. Berhanu is charged with first-degree tampering with the service of a utility and second-degree assault after screwing around with a traffic light.

Unfortunately, the guy is mental and this isn't the first time he's made the news. A Channel 9 story this evening reported that Berhanu is the same dude who was trapped in a clothing donation bin after tampering with it several months ago.

The story featured a white women who was formerly punched in the chest by Berhanu and she seemed mad that the guy was back on the street, mad that he was an immigrant and using public resources and just all around mad.

I haven't really come to any conclusions about this story but I do think it's yet another example that this country has very little compassion left for anybody . . . Especially poor, crazy, brown people who punch white women.

So I'm wondering what the next big conservative moment will be now that "compassionate conservatism" is going down in flames along with the Bush presidency. Is it possible to run a "get all of the darkies out of this country and keep bombing them overseas" party. I don't know if I'd vote that way but I'd damn sure buy one of their t-shirts. Just a thought.

Nadia Pflaum gets all of her story ideas from TKC

The Catwoman has struck again! This week Nadia Pflaum files a story that expresses every sentiment I've already written on this blog regarding Marcus Leach. They say that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery so I'm guessing that if I ever meet this woman I'll have to make sure that she doesn't blow me. Here's her story which is featured in this week's Pitch that (thankfully) is not gushing over a local emo band or a passing fad in this town that is promoted by some carpet bagger who is secretly screwing a member of the staff:

The Miseducation of Marcus Leach

Just to show you that I'm not fucking around, here are some links to prove that I've also written (eloquently) about the subject:

"Leach, who is Black"
Leach Impeached

And a few other posts right here.

As usual Pflaum's article is thorough and well written. If you have time to read the 3,000 word polemic I'm sure you will enjoy it and you probably need to schedule a colonoscopy if you're spending that much time on the can.

Thing is, I just hope this isn't a trend because I noticed that she pretty much stole borrowed every sentiment I've ever written about Stan Glazer and added a bit of muck raking and insider dirt of her own. It was a nice article but didn't really capture the guy's charm and acumen along with the distinct possibility that in such a crowded field he just might (and probably should) be this town's next mayor.

Anyway, Pflaum's admiration of all things Tony is odd because not only is Pflaum a better journalist than I am (I'm not one) but also she wrote the best news article published in print last year in KC. Also, I liked her story about narcocorridos in Kansas City even if I wanted to slap everyone who was interviewed and I think journalists should work harder to find Mexicans who aren't holding a guitar.

Still, there were a few things missing. Pflaum gets too caught up in the dopey student politics at UMKC and she doesn't examine the real issue: Why is Marcus Leach under fire and why have so many people have taken an interest in the silly machinations of student government politics at UMKC? The answer isn't just race, it's also about achievement and race coupled with the fact that UMKC (like this nation) is so paralyzed by political division that any strong leader will face an inevitable backlash. Nadia tries to develop this theme in terms of SGA spending (yawn) but never makes the connection.

Also, true to form for the Pitch, the article capitalizes on tawdry (fun) facts and fails to put the controversy in perspective. My favorite portion of the story is a bit of dirt digging that Pflaum comes up with in regard to Leach's Internet humor:

Tasteless jokes written by Leach on Cross-x.com, an online debate forum. One joke that appears to have been written by Leach reads: "How do you make a 7-year-old cry twice? Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear."

That's pretty good gossip but if you look even harder, you'll find that many people have a few complaints about Leach that aren't as frivolous or prurient.

Co-workers and (so-called) friends of Leach have sent me a few e-mails and have made the following complaints:

"The guy has absolutely no focus. He's involved in so many things that he performs all of them poorly"

"Just because he's half Black that means every turd he pushes forth must be polished and celebrated by those looking to use him as part of their cause."

Also, Pflaum was too busy muckraking on the Internet to report that Leach was recently fired from the Campus Ambassadors program at UMKC because of his lack of participation and poor attendance. Incidentally, poor attendance for SGA meetings was also an issue touted by Leach's detractors which Pflaum doesn't mention; she relies more on painting the issue as a coup d'état run by the Frat boys and girls - that's accurate but not exactly the whole story.

In the end, you should read the article on your own and then ask yourself what you'd do if all of your college fuck ups, enemies and hardships made the local news. So often, when issues of race and college campuses appear in the media we have a tendency to forget the stupidity of most college kids and college life in general because of the amazing potential of the people involved, the reflection of our society within the microcosm of a campus and the fact that colleges are horribly run, full of unimportant bickering and dysfunctional . . . Just like the real world.

Finally, (whew) the article features a number of lessons for youngsters seeking political office. Here's number 7: Don't trust people from New Times publications. More and more this city's corporate alternative rag resembles the middle aged ranting of someone desperately trying to be cool rather than a glimpse at stories the MSM won't report. This article just seems like a backstabbing attempt to air the dirty laundry of a 20 year-old kid and call it news . . . I thought that's why people read bloggers Xanga. Normally, I admire Nadia's journalistic skill (not really) but this cover story is nothing more than a he said/she said account of some kid's college political career and it's import to KC is unapparent and largely contrived . . . Very much akin to Pflaum's hip-hop poseurdom reporting.

Man's SUV Stolen After Getting Oil Changed

It's hard for me to feel sorry for the guy given that he drives and SUV and that oil companies regularly get away with stealing.

Killing the competition

One of the reasons I don't do business with white people is because they will kill you the second they get tired of looking at you or want to negotiate a new deal (see: Native Americans) then again their minority counterparts aren't that much better if you notice all of the dead drug dealers often spotted in the news . . . So I guess that any business deal is dangerous when you're dealing with somebody (most people) who will kill you if it means a couple of more bucks for them.

Recently, KCTV 5 reports that a 63-year-old contractor is due in Johnson County District Court today on charges he plotted to have a business associate killed over a real estate deal. I don't know if Jimmie Earl Presley is related to The King but he (allegedly) has his ambition and good hair.



Sadly, I'm probably mistaken but it just doesn't seem like there are many suburban hitmen out there (other than home refinancing people) so I'm always surprised that pissed off suburbanites still search for them when they need somebody killed. It's akin to the police using healthy looking white women for hooker decoys or pervs thinking that some underage broad wants to have sex with them just because they throw around a few (un)clever lines in a chat room . . . I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm surprised people think these things exist because just like the Easter bunny or women who don't marry for money these items are myths.

Thankfully, no one was harmed and the only thing that suffered was the notion that even your average person wouldn't kill for the right amount of scratch. Also, this story spells bad news if real estate deals are now turning violent given all of the speculative land grabbing in this town and all of the people who are over extended, holding on to expensive mortgages and ready to kill somebody if their condo deal doesn't go through. I've said it before, the real estate market in the metro area is killer.

Giving you the business

Links from the Biz Journal:

- It's not exactly the Falun Gong Show: China's U.S. ambassador speaks at Cerner where the only human rights violation is that employees are forced to smile and nod when Jeanne Patterson speaks of her political ambitions.

- The Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City will cut 109 jobs in cash and check-processing services mainly because nobody has any cash or money in a checking account anymore. Mayor Kay and the current Republican administration have taught us that we can live on credit cards forever. Hooray!

- Cargill Inc. plans to build a soybean processing facility in Kansas City. And while all fast food is pretty much made with meat flavoring and soybeans . . . You still probably won't be able to taste the freshness . . . Just the leftovers of employees who don't wash their hands.

- American Century launches three new funds while the rest of them sink. Still, this is good news seeing that the investment gurus stationed at KC's ugliest buildings are making enough money to afford a new dartboard.

Man Who Barricaded Himself In Home Found Dead

This 21 year old guy exchanged shots with the police at a home near 29th Street and Highland Avenue and it's too early to determine if his death was from police bullets or a self-inflicted wound. Too bad the guy couldn't stay holed up for a bit longer considering that there's nothing but abandoned houses on Kansas City's Eastside.

God save us from Christian nationalism

Red Letter Day directs us to a frightening scenario in which Christians take over the country and take away your right to lead an interesting life. It's a worst case scenario and it's much more likely that you'll voluntarily hand over your life and free will to them after it's in shambles because you can't handle your shit.

Royals Hire Dayton Moore As GM

On pace to lose a hundred more games this year a local blogger wonders if the change will do anything at all.

Pricey Police Academy

The KCPD's Northland police academy might cost $2 million more than expected.

Sadly, this seems to prove that the people in charge of the KCPD can neither control costs nor the murder rate. The over runs are blamed on construction delays and other unforeseen costs. More than half of the $1.02 million of the initial contingency fund is gone as the Board of Police commissioners agreed to provide another $1 MILLION DOLLARS to the account.

Somehow, I think all of this is fitting because I've always believed that construction companies are the biggest crooks in this town and clearly they can get away with ripping off the police. Still, I'm sure everything is on the up and up and this tiny bit of debt will inspire the cops who graduate from the academy to go out and earn their keep by making the city money while writing a great many tickets and also protecting the assets of the upper class in KC from all of the filthy, poor and dangerous brown people.

Cruel reality

The following quote comes from my father in regard to the loyalty of children to their mothers and the relative nature of truth:

"Yet baby pigs love still love their mother even though she's a big, fat hog."

I feel guilty for mentioning it, but that saying was the first thing that crossed my mind when I read the story of horrible anguish suffered by Marsha Spicer's daughter and other relatives as Richard Davis and Dena Riley appeared in court yesterday.

As a dude, I am sympathetic toward Spicer because being killed in search of group sex seems valiant in my estimation. But few people share my opinion. It's true that all of the victims in this case were innocent . . . kinda (Except for the kid, who was of course completely innocent you Nancy). But the cruel reality is that having sex with strangers is dangerous and this case clearly illustrates that point with dramatic TV news stories and courtroom appearances rather than quiet healthcare clinics or therapist's offices.

Obviously, the real victims in this story are not only people like Spicer's daughter but also every other dude out there relentlessly working to hook up a threeway without the consequences of an untimely death or sensational media coverage. Truly, smotherfuckers like Davis and Riley have hurt the entire community by reminding us not only that the era of causal sex is long gone but also that our loved ones are nasty.

Mayor Kay writes columnist

The completely irrelevant 10,000 Rain Gardens is under discussion on the editorial pages of The Star and nowhere else.

KC-area house sales fall

Looking for greater fools is getting tougher.

Puerto Ricans get all the breaks

Surprisingly, Linda Chavez is not behind the attempt to criticize Kansas City School superintendent finalist Anthony Amato. You know, she hates Puerto Ricans and she would probably agree that the guy got special treatment because he was allowed to re-enter the selection process after temporarily backing out.

The only thing the Royals hate more than winning is this country

Royals pitcher Ambiorix Burgos turned the flag upside down, he says it was an accident. Still, I thought displaying a flag upside down was a sign that a ship was in distress; so I think it may be appropriate after all.

Another sad pick up line

A woman's body was found in a pickup in East KC.

Saying "fuck you" to the homeless was never so cute

The KC Channel reports that a 'Miracle' dog has found a new home while stinky bums without shelter might wanna try learning new tricks and getting a flea collar.

"Mind Your Own Goddamn Business!!"

The X-man (rightly) defends drivers and their right to DVD porn along with providing some helpful hints for the road: "Keep your fucking eyes on the road, hands at "10 and 2", assume every other driver is an idiot out to kill you, anticipate other drivers actions and drive defensively."

"PUNCH AND JUDY in Real Life"

This amazing post from Dallas Penn puts the antics of RICHARD DAVIS and DENA RILEY in a new light. Dallas has a plethora of great insights about the case and he is wonderfully incisive when he calls this town, "the country's crotch." Go read, tell him I sent you.

Nothing but switch hitters in Johnson County

Like rats abandoning a sinking ship (for another one) the Republicans are quickly switching sides in the Golden Ghetto. Former Republican Chairman Mark Parkinson changed his party registration yesterday in what is most likely a precursor to the announcement that he'll be the running mate of Gov. Kathleen Sebelius. This show of opportunism is reminiscent of the recent change up in political affiliation of DA and AG hopeful Paul Morrison.

The greater trend in both of these cases is that rich, white people aren't loyal to any one and they will do whatever is necessary to keep their head above water and make those BMW payments . . . Think John Dean.

Clearly, this most recent defection is yet another sign that the Administration of GW Bush has been a complete and total abortion. His low popularity ratings with so much time left on the meter are utterly humiliating for Republicans. The Republican Party is distancing itself from W for fear of a horrible beating in the midterm elections and since staying afloat is never enough for JoCo folk, the next logical step is simply to switch sides. Also, we can now say with total certainty that the war in Iraq is lost given that killing babies is probably the least effective way to promote Democracy and this kind of slaughter is nothing more than a clear indication that the U.S. has worn out its welcome.

So, you can't fault a Johnson County jerkoff for staying true to form. In JoCo, career advancement is what keeps wives from cheating and creditors at bay . . . Loyalty is for children and poor people.

"Larry Johnson and Tony Gonzalez the Best of the Best"

They're not in the top five but they rank pretty high for two star players on a mediocre team. This is nice but it would be great if the Chiefs management could be trusted to execute a decent trade. Todd Blackledge we miss you nearly as much as we admire Dan Marino.

Mayor Kay cynically assumes that those who engage in ass sex don't know much about local politics - No homo, of course

Recently, Mayor "Country Club" Kay Barnes has created quite a stir by appearing on the cover of a local gay publication. The mayor is clearly pandering to one of the city's smallest (yet most vocal) minorities. And while this (empty) gesture is seen as bold move or as an advancement in the recognition of the ass slamming community it's nothing more than cheap trick to garner support for one of the worst mayoral tenures in more than a generation.

Let's make a comparison. During the last election Bush did not have a plan for winning the war in Iraq, battling high energy costs, jumpstarting the struggling economy or anything other than prolonging Toby Keith's career. Yet, he (or his advisors) did know that (many) people find butt sex somewhat disgusting. He capitalized on that and was able to make one or two declarative sentences regarding his policy and that was enough to win the election handily coupled with the fact that John Kerry's wife should be the first to be deported if any of this immigration stuff goes through. Kay has pulled off (nullus) a carbon copy of the maneuver and reached around out to the gheys in order to find someone in town who might show some acceptance of the deviant acts she has performed as mayor. Because Mayor Kay's tactic presumes that gheys don't care about fiscal responsibility, the city's debt load (heh) or this town's crumbling infrastructure. Obviously, if you're brave enough to show up at a homo party and not deny it afterwards then you're a hero in the ghey community. Either that or the next election she's running in will be for Queen of the Queers - a title that I believe was formerly held by Ida Mcbeth for a long period of time during the late 70's in this town.

Another point worth a bit of discussion is that maybe Kansas City is being primed for a backdoor invasion from homosexuals (ewwwwwwww) and Mayor Kay is finally revealing the team for which she's playing. It's common knowledge that homosexuals have more money than straight people. And, since (stereotypically) homosexuals are more well groomed then your average slob guy it makes sense to think that they are well suited to take advantage of the tax abated condos that are the only legacy of Mayor Kay's tenure. Yup, Country Club Kay couldn't fix many potholes in this town and I haven't heard her say the word sewer in three years but she has nearly turned KC into a Mecca for rich ghey people who are suckers for speculative real estate markets. And while I'm sure the gay community* has contributed a lot to this town other than illicit sex in public parks, I trust that any group of people smart enough to avoid marriage, figure out nose hair trimmers and earn more money on average than boobie lovers like myself can see right past this lady's ruse. While I believe that the lifestyle choices of most people are disgusting, I don't think that anybody could honestly get behind Country Club Kay (in any sense of the expression) without some serious reservations regarding her inept handling of this town's finances, infrastructure and her overall lack of character and leadership as a mayor.

*Notice that I didn't mention lesbians once in this post because lesbianism is not a sexual preference, it's simply a way of either enticing or repulsing men based on the shape of the women involved.

Local Catholics are only good for pissing people off

I'm sure there are stories of kindness, compassion and decency which emanate from The Catholic Church but I don't have any experience with them.

Recently, the story of St. Agnes Catholic Church failing to renew the contract of its music director simply because he's gay and also serves as the choir director for Kansas City's Heartland Men's Chorus is yet another example of a wave of "conservatism" crashing over local Catholic Churches and washing away longtime devoted members.

But last Sunday, Joseph Nadeau ended his last Mass at St. Agnes Catholic Church with a wrenching solo on "God Help the Outcasts." It was his other life, as the artistic director of one of the nation's largest gay male choirs, that ultimately cost him his job.

In January, the St. Agnes Catholic Church hierarchy summoned Nadeau into a closed-door meeting, he said. Monsignor Gary Applegate told Nadeau that to continue as music director, he needed to resign from Kansas City's Heartland Men's Chorus, take a vow of celibacy and acknowledge that homosexuality was a disorder, Nadeau said.

Actually, this isn't anything that new. This is the parish I grew up in and it's strangely comforting to know that some things (their intolerance) will never change. When I went to school there, the only thing they hated more than Mexicans was gay people or maybe Black people . . . I don't know for sure, I didn't pay much attention in school. Later on, in that same parish, a high school teacher would tell my football team in a private moment that there wasn't anything wrong with "fag bashing" other than running the risk of getting their blood spattered on you. This is why baseball bats were (supposedly) preferred . . . Which (ironically) seemed kind of ghey to me. People find this stuff hard to believe . . . But I'm not making it up and maybe there is some kind of logical explanation for it . . . Who knows? Maybe all of the Mexicans who went to that school were, in fact, retarded and really did belong in the slow classes.

In the end, I've found that whenever anyone really questions representatives of the Church . . . There is only one answer: If you don't like it, you can leave. Strangely, you'd think this kind of attitude would quickly evaporate the membership but you'd be wrong. Very much like the ratings of Lou Dobbs the Church earns even MORE attendees (in this country at least) when it takes a reactionary or intolerant stance on a divisive issue. Also, I've always found that reformers of the Church and their views are even more ghey than the almost any homosexual parishioner. If you think the people in the Church are obnoxious, the people trying to change it are downright silly and don't realize that women priests would prove once and for all that God is dead.

And while it doesn't seem very Christian to shun somebody because of what they do with their genitals in the privacy of their own public restroom stall, I can't say the reaction of St. Agnes parishioners is that surprising. I've always known that if the Church didn't speak up during the Holocaust, the institution will always be more concerned with mindless devotion to their own rules and their standing rather than simple human compassion. And while I'm a bad Catholic who rarely attendees mass, I have to admit that I'm still drawn to the Church because of the ancient rules, old buildings, outdated philosophies and ongoing traditions which serve to remind me that more than two thousand years of worship serve only as a meager, flawed offering to the hope that these rituals aren't in vain. Also, it's cheaper than a movie and they give away snacks sometimes.

"Trolley Trail Barhopping"

A great drinking tour of this city with photos that surprisingly don't get blurry as the tour progresses.

Gardening and gauging hardness in KC

I did not know this but there is a "hardness map" put out by the Department of Agriculture in order to demonstrate what plants are most likely to survive in any area. As always, it's virtually impossible to gauge Kansas City.

None of this matters to me because I only plant tomatoes and global warming is pretty good for that crop. The way things are going, I'll be able to grow my own kiwi fruit in about three years.

However, this post on hardness and gardening got me thinking about a recent NOT SAFE FOR WORK photo set I stumbled upon featuring Czech model Marketa Belonoha. As you can see she's pretty hot for a skinny 24 year old white broad and she's obviously a big fan of gardening just like me. Also, she just might be one of the last generation of white women we will see on this planet before illegal immigration, interracial dating and global climate change makes us all look Filipino no matter how desperately the Republican House works to fight two of these three maladies.

East vs. West Independence

In this battle for more funds and attention from City Hall you can be certain that both sides are losers unless it comes to the Meth trade where everybody wins except your teeth.

Mary Sanchez weighs in on a nearly month old article about Castro's billions

Timely. Rich. Fascinating. Also, I hear that Hugo Chavez is quite a firebrand as well. I'm certain Sanchez also has some nasty comments to make about him considering that all Latinas are contemptuous of strong Latino men (tyrants and breadwinners alike) which is yet another reason why she fits in so well at The Star and why I only date white women.

The KC Johnson County Star shares an opinion

All is not well in the Golden Ghetto, infighting seems to be destroying the relative peace created by running away from minorities. Also, KCMO proper needs its own paper.

Tell it to the computer, honey

KC Infozine reports that computer screening may increase the odds that a woman at risk for domestic violence will talk to a health care professional in the emergency department about the topic . . . Because nobody else wants to hear it. We've got problems of our own and that kind of confession is one of the worst ways to find a new boyfriend . . . Akin to wearing a blouse with a tire track across it.

The troubled lives of Richard Davis and Dena Riley

What's more interesting to me is how a guy who worked as a janitor, dropped out of junior high, jumped between jobs and spent more than half his life in jail could hook up a threeway. I always thought you had to have a million bucks to do something like that.

Couple Accused Of Hitting Child With Bible

My grandma used to joke about this with my mother because she read a bunch of child psychology books on parenting. She said, "The only way those books are going to help you is if you use them to beat him." Apparently, this is also true of the bible and yet another way "The Good Book" can change your life.

Gully bar fight is the best publicity for a local dive

Four people were arrested early Monday morning after a fight outside a nightclub at 118th Street and Blue Ridge Boulevard. No word on whether or not they slammed that Z. Also, South KC is quickly becoming the butthole of the area.

Smoking is far worse than de facto segregation

Two KC suburbs are close to putting smoking bans on the November ballot in order make life in those towns not only more boring but also a little longer.

No Joke: Blind man trains for run despite crappy sidewalks

If I find out he's working with a priest, a rabbi and a duck then I quit.

Memorial Day Fireworks

No, not a recounting of drunk relatives fighting over who mom loves more. Instead, local blogger Scooter posts some nice pics of last night's pyrotechnic show near Union Station.

Brand New Local Blogs

Rubric's Twist: Is a new local blog with a name that reminds me of my favorite character in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels . . . Actually, the name is Ruprecht not rubric but close. A great movie and a great blog . . . Check them both out if you haven't yet.

Blaaaaaahhg: A great local blog that not only contains some great personal insights but also some interesting items about this town.

Finally, be sure to check out Kansas City Confidential to get "the story behind the story on K.C. politics and government." Looks like good stuff so far with a few interesting posts like this one about Mayor Kay's new pet.

In Memoriam

A long time ago (4 days), I remember when I used to post a bunch of links on this blog . . . Those times will return, hopefully tomorrow. In the meantime, I've compiled a list of things that I'm remembering and reflecting on today . . . In between trips to my cooler which is shaped like the ass of Kay Barnes; however it only holds beer which is still much more interesting than anything she has pulled out of her backside recently.

So, in loving memory . . . Here is the list:

• 2739 casualties in Iraq freedom and Enduring freedom.


• More than 16,500 Americans wounded in Iraq


• Big hair . . . And not just on Italian woman.
  


• Tax payer funded Royals losing streak.


• Chiefs players (or County officials) without a criminal record


• The word "neighborhood" in discussion about the future of KC


• A view of the KC skyline for less than a 1/2 million bucks or maybe just affordable housing in KC that doesn't require a 45 minute commute.


• Support for conservative principals like the free market and small government rather than clamoring for the world's largest bureaucracy at the border in the desperate hope that Mexicans can't do paperwork.


• A time when this town wasn't so ghey or, more accurately, lusting after the disposable income of ghey people. (More on this later - No homo)


• Women who aren't on a diet.


• The days when the term "local artist" was just a euphemism for "drug addict."


• Finally, I'd like to memorialize people who have something, anything to remember, mourn or reflect upon on this day rather than just spending it shoving BBQ in their face, turning bright pink at the lake, crowding the highway and wasting time with their overweight children who can't remember anything thanks to the mainstream media, neglect and the horrible effects of Oprah on the culture.
  

"'Cause every Puerto Rican's a lousy chicken"

The local TV stations are reporting that Anthony Amato, the former superintendent of the New Orleans School District, will most likely be the next superintendent of the KCMO School District.

Amato seems to have a strong rep but there is not denying that he was run out of New Orleans in a hurry just like many poorer members of the Black community in that town (Thank you God, global warming, the undercover ops who destroyed the levy, etc.).

If you looked over the resumes of all of the superintendent applicants it was easy to see that they were either embattled in their previous gigs or really underqualified. Clearly, KC is the last stop for many education careers on a downward spiral.

Here's a bit intracultural rivalry trivia: Mexicans and Puerto Ricans hate each other. And not just because Linda Chavez is a bitch. Puerto Ricans can come here legally and Mexicans can't; it's a sore spot but many Mexicans find it necessary to make reference to the fact that all Puerto Ricans have some percentage of African decent in their background when the topic is under discussion . . . Racial politics is silly. However, I can't help but be pleased that there is a Latino working at the school district other than the janitors and in some small sense I feel that David Smith has made a bit of atonement for his previous transgressions against the good people of Puerto Rico. And, maybe this will prove to be beneficial for the 7 or 8 kids who have not yet dropped out of KC public schools.

In the aftermath of a threeway

Unfortunately, I have no experience with group sex. This is probably a good thing. This week the Marsha Spicer Murder/Snuff Film story has illustrated the dangers of overloading a sex sandwich. Still, now that Richard D. Davis and Dena D. Riley are in police custody engaging in a threeway is a little bit safer aside from the usual hazards of herpes and leopard skin rugs.

Additionally, the couple's surrender also included the recovery of a 5 year-old girl who was recently reported kidnapped but I have no fucking clue what that's about . . . All I know is that it's just more evidence that things get freaky when you start bumping uglies with strangers.

And it's not that I'm a conservative person who believes that sex is a sacred act. Remember, I'm Catholic so I believe that sex is filthy, disgusting and an expression of my wickedness . . . Very much like a bowel movement.

But I will say that I've never gone down the road of group sex, not because of religion or morals, but because I know that getting that freaky with two or more partners opens up possibilities for all kinds of deviant behavior. For instance, mustaches were never cool but they are sported by guys who have group sex because of the infamous "mustache ride" and because fashion becomes less important when you are elbows deep in some guy's wife while your partner is being ridden harder than Barbaro at the Preakness. Also, I don't have a million dollars so hooking up a threeway with two skanks who are strangers is out of the question and having a threeway with your girlfriend is just a bad idea. A threeway with a girlfriend only reveals that you're dating a complete whore and most guys have to actually marry a woman and go off to war or engage in a trial separation to find that out.

Back to my point: Once you are down for group sex then you're down for anything.

Davis and Riley lived out their snuff film fantasies and allegedly murdered some poor woman while making a movie (John Landis eat your heart out) but let's not forget that the Manson Family started out as a sex cult and ended up participating in one of History's All-Time Greatest Etherings along with Sharon Tate.

Obviously, sex can make you do crazy things . . . I once told a broad I was going to marry her.

Thankfully, my fear of germs and gold chains has kept me away from deviant sexual practices (for the most part) along with the support of my girlfriend. She thinks it's a sign that this country is full of freaks when I tell her how many people have searched this blog for info on anything having to do with the Marsha Spicer murder. Also, she tells me that some fantasies are better left unexplored. According to her, involving some hot broad in our relationship who could not only fulfill both of our sexual needs but also could remain emotionally available, leave the toilet seat down, enjoy the nuanced performances in Six Feet Under and not purport that hugging is only for homosexuals . . . Well, including that kind of person in our sex life may not be in my best interest.

If old white women aren't safe on the Plaza then none of us are

A 70-year-old woman was apparently robbed and sexually assaulted in the stairwell of a Country Club Plaza parking garage.

Greg Reeves pats Whitlock on the head

Here's something important concerning minority writers for those of you who don't have much experience with the subject: If white people agree with your writing about topics concerning race then you aren't doing your job. I like Whitlock's work regarding sports because he's a good writer and I imagine that all of his columns are composed on the back of a stripper's ass but he's consistently off base, unsophisticated, uninformed and parochial when he takes on subjects out of his field of expertise. He stumbles through columns in favor or tax increases and bigger press boxes for his big ass without even noting any of the opposition against projects that he was obviously forced to support at the behest of his employers/owners/Tall Israelis . . . Also, and this may be a plus but Whitlock has never used it to his advantage, the guy has a dumb jock's view of the world which is skewed because even the most ardent racist adores Black athletes even if he regards ever other minority as human trash.

Black Drivers Stopped More

A new report released by Attorney General Jay Nixon reveals that Black motorists in Missouri continue to be pulled over by police at a higher rate than white drivers.

In other news, the sky is still blue, the Royals suck, the Star's coverage is geared toward 63 year old upper class white women, when Mexicans get pulled over they get deported not just hassled and your white privilege allows you to say "ah, that's too bad" and the go back to enjoying your Starbucks coffee.

Covering your Fannie

According to a new federal report, mortgage overlord Fannie Mae received help from Senator Kit Bond in its attempt to undermine a probe of the company's accounting practices.

The company eventually had to pay 400 million to buy off settle the case. Bond claims that he was merely trying to make sure Fannie Mae's regulators were doing their job properly. Obviously, the Senator is interested in productivity, especially when the multi-million dollar bonuses of top executives are concerned.

Ice-T's sexy ass wife contributed to this report in the sense that her clothes are nearly as transparent as Kit Bond's motives.

A Terrorist Friend in Kansas City

Enjoy this post from local blogger "Happy in Bag." He'll be filing his next entry from Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Kidding, working with a terrorist is not a crime unless that "terrorist" is Mexican. Clarification: This blogger never worked with a terrorist, he is not now nor has he ever been Arab and the only contact he has with Mexicans is an occasional trip to Pancho's on Main . . . But I'm sure his heart is pure and he calls tacos "America crunchies."

12 in a row

The Royals turn losing into an endurance sport. I wonder if the so-called "contribution" to the community during the Stadium Tax debate was really just all the jokes that people of this town make at their expense.