This is what they call an appeal to sympathy . . . After my Grandfather died, as he laid in the casket, I remember not feeling much of anything. I looked down at his dead body and felt surprisingly calm. His skin seemed as if it was made of plastic and the mortician had combed his hair to the side whereas my Grandfather always brushed his hair back to hide his bald spot. I remember that he had great hair, kind of like Bruce Willis in Die Hard.
Neither the funeral nor the burial brought about much emotion in me. Don’t get me wrong, I deeply loved my Grandpa and I still miss him today. But long ago I was informed of a well known but still somewhat unspoken secret . . . funerals and all of the ceremony that surrounds death is only for the benefit of the living. As far as any of us know, dead people don’t enjoy memorial services.
During every funeral I’ve went to there has been weeping, mourning and praying but not once have I ever seen anybody jump out of the casket and say, “Wow, this is really nice. Who sent those flowers? Thanks a lot for the send off! I’ll make sure to write.” No, the purpose of death’s rituals is to console the living and to delicately remind us that our turn is one day in the future.
Still, I’ve never understood all of the crying and sorrow that accompanies so many Christian funerals. I’ve always interpreted the grief at funerals as nothing more than doubt. Looking at a dead body makes you seriously evaluate your belief system. Death isn’t a concept, it’s a fact and whatever may or may not come after is merely a theory or a prayer or a guess as far as anyone can confirm. The ceremony surrounding death merely serves to quell all of our doubts until we can forget about them and go on with our everyday lives. We’re encouraged to get wrapped up in symbolism in order to avoid the harsh reality that as far as we can prove, our loved ones are gone.
And now I start to get mean . . . Precious Doe has been dead for years and while
there may or may not be a brake in the case of her identity and murder NOTHING will change the fact that she’s dead. Her story has been used to spark interest in community meetings and draw attention to the plight of children in peril. The girl named Precious Doe has become a symbol for the many ways that parents, communities and government have failed so many children.
Problem is, all of the effort, ink and media fuss dedicated to Precious Doe does very little to help the many living children in need right now. Sadly, Precious Doe has become KC’s youngest and most decomposed celebrity this side of
Melena Scantlin while her case has all the import of the Jackson, Blake or Peterson cases in the lives of our local citizenry.
Similarly, so many media outlets (like this one) have used Precious Doe to fill their pages/air time with schmaltzy content that capitalizes on everyone’s love of sappy human interest stories and a good mystery; very much like watching a local reality TV rendition of CSI. Even worse, local “leaders” like Alonzo Washington are using the corpse of Precious Doe as a stepping stool to political office or just for good public relations. Shockingly, the KCPD is also set to electrify TV watchers if they are somehow able to wrap up this cold case.
Still, I’m writing this for more than just an opportunity to bounce jokes off the corpse of a dead girl. If the Precious Doe case is solved it might be tempting to think that a caring community united in order to work for justice. All the while, many youths in this city are still forced to waste away in grossly mismanaged schools, roam the streets in what could be a record setting year for homicides or come of age with only the guidance of video games, TV and Internet pervs. Sadly, all of the attention focused on Precious Doe isn’t doing the dead girl any good and if her case is symbolic than maybe it might also represent the power of the media and local politicians to exploit an emotional issue that contributes very little to the problems of kids above ground in Kansas City.
