At the risk of seeming like a party pooper despite today's overwhelming disappointment . . . The total solar eclipse was possibly the least important "news" event that has happened so far this year.
Again, a quick rundown . . .
- They're killing cops in Westport and because the officer was African-American . . . That somehow makes Kansas City hipsters feel safer as our murder count inches closer to the century mark.
- Eclipse 2017 was ruined by rain that also backed up and flooded local roadways because Kansas City politicos LIED about fixing infrastructure with GO Bond money . . . Which is actually being used for a variety of pet projects.
- There's a war over monuments in Kansas City that persists as culture warriors battle for the heart and soul of this town whilst armed dudes confront crowds of local angry ANTIFA.
Nevertheless, most of today's news was about the middle-class eating fried food whilst watching the sky . . .
Best Timelapse Of The Day
Okay, Maybe The Sun Isn't Really Racist
Return your solar eclipse glasses and cancel your sun-watching parties, America. According to The Atlantic, Monday's predicted total solar eclipse is, it turns out, racist.
Nice Neighborhood Party
Eclipse dodges storms, delivers for Northeast residents
A partial eclipse will be visible from anywhere in North America, but the path of totality covers only 70 miles across the U.S.
Kansas City Biz Class Look Upward
A variety of Kansas City businesses gave their workers quite a show on Monday afternoon. As a once-in-a-lifetime solar eclipse passed through the Kansas City area, some companies gave their employees time for some celestial bonding. Look through the attached slideshow to see some submitted photos from the different eclipse-viewing parties.
2-Star Foodie Eclipse
KANSAS CITY, Mo. - On Monday morning the doors at Chicken N Pickle opened as the storm clouds rolled out. Nicole Bailey from Kansas City, Kansas and Rachel Corl from Mission, Kansas were among the 200 people who purchased tickets for the rooftop eclipse watch party.
Credit Where It's Due: The Timeless Johnny Rowlands Has Kansas City's Best View
Johnny Rowlands had a 360 degree view of the phenomenon from the skies.
We'll leave this thread open but let us never speak of this again . . .