Jolly Old St. Nick is no more.
Last night a mythical figure reached a common conclusion in Kansas City.
The folkloric character Kris Kringle aka Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas and simply "Santa" died in a hail of gunfire somewhere off Prospect Ave. Kansas City Fire Department Ambulance Service was dispatched to tend to the International legend but they were not able to save him given that they were rerouted from the Northland and didn't reach Mr. Kringle until more than a half an hour after one of his reindeer made a distress call.
Typically . . .
NO WITNESSES HAVE COME FORWARD AND SINCE THIS MURDER WAS COMMITTED ON THE EASTSIDE THERE WON'T BE MUCH INTEREST FROM KANSAS CITY'S MAINSTREAM MEDIA!!!
On the bright side, we're still gonna have Christmas . . . But I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for the jolly fat man.
Similarly . . . Is there any kid still dumb enough to believe in Santa anyhoo? C'mon, while Chinese toddlers are making iPads, American brats are capable of advanced Google Searching (and little else) . . . I guess it's nice that the MYTH was finally put out his misery.
In conclusion . . .
TKC CELEBRATES THE GIFT OF LIFE IN KANSAS CITY WHILE REMEMBERING THAT 110 AND COUNTING HAVE BEEN SENSELESSLY MURDERED AS LOCAL LEADERS HAVE YET TO PROVIDE A COMPREHENSIVE SOLUTION!!!
And all this holiday cheer and heartache regarding the DEATH OF SANTA KANSAS CITY has inspired tonight's playlist . . . And a hope that nothing too horrible happens in this town that will necessitate an update until after X-mas. (Also hoping, praying The Chiefs lose . . . Bah, humbug)
As always, thank you reading this week . . . Have a safe, happy and fun Christmas.
Nice one.
ReplyDeleteIt's Kansas City. Not even Santa Claus is safe.
ReplyDeleteVegas sportsbooks have the Chiefs to win by 2.5.
ReplyDeleteToo bad Santa isn't a white woman from JOCO, it would be the lead news story.
ReplyDeleteBy the way Anon 7:09am: If your kids are reading TKC you have bigger problems than scared kids.
It was an "Honor" killing.
ReplyDeleteLots of young chillins starting their day with TKC, 0709 numb nuts?
ReplyDeleteIf an old white man with a beard and wearing a red suit was hanging around the east side, then he deserved to get shot.
ReplyDeleteAlonzo Washington says the real Santa is black.
ReplyDeleteSanta will never die! trust me I know.
ReplyDeleteTony, tony, tony... you're gonna get a rock in your stocking for this, Mr. Bah Humbug! O<:(
ReplyDeleteI'll speak to Santa for you, know you mean well...and you make a good point.
ReplyDeleteClassic! Where the hell did you find this pic?
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19rL_8W3oRU
You are invited to stop by for some Holiday Cheer!
OK, I'll say it first....Merry Christmas niggers!!!
ReplyDeleteYou suck tony. Why's it have to be on propsect? You sayin a black person would kill santa?? You racist fuck. Merry christmas you fat ass
ReplyDelete10:26.
ReplyDeleteThis is the picture:
https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-pOwGE2cIAVo/TvWgDd0boeI/AAAAAAAAPVM/2ZpZtJVt2IM/s400/santabodysm.jpg
The pic is hilarious! Hope nobody really got hurt dressed like Santa. Tony's right again! American kids use the heck out of google searches but ask a basic math question... And get crickets! KC isn't the only place suffering. The glorified suburbs suffer from stupidity too. And Tony I hope the Chefs lose too. I'm sick of hearing about it. Nationally, this team is unrecognizable.
ReplyDelete1:56.
ReplyDeleteUnless the guy has clay pots for lower legs, and a square torso, then nobody was hurt.
Dipshit.
Hey 1:56 get off his nuts.loser
ReplyDeleteIt hasn't been said so i'll say it: n****rs ruin everything.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas, everyone.
ReplyDeleteTis the season for Crime.
ReplyDeleteKansas City Style.
I like it. Merry Christmas T.
ReplyDeleteTo bad it didnt say KCFD on the hat! That would have made my Christmas after they killed my mom!
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas Byron.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas Tony.
Merry Christmas everyone.
:)
St. Nick killed by St. (street) Nig.
ReplyDeleteNatch.
7:25.
ReplyDeleteI don't remember a story about a murder like that.
Wow!!!!!!!! If you Dident hear it or read it
ReplyDeleteIt Couldent have happened
Dumb shit
You're correct 8:05.
ReplyDeleteIt DIDN'T happen.
Merry Christmas Tony, Chuck, and Byron and all TKC readers and most of the commenters. Hope everyone has a great New Year!
ReplyDeleteThe comments are the main attraction. Enjoy halftime.
ReplyDeleteIt's spelled: Referee.
ReplyDeleteYou fools and your foolishness sometimes make me laugh. This weekend was a perfect example. Merry holiday. The whole world comes to an end next year. But not in the way that you think.
A wise man doesn't call people fools, & a winner doesn't call people losers. No problem can be solved with more hatred, & no one can predict the future.
ReplyDelete'A wise man walks with his head bowed.'
Another murder in the City of Murder.
ReplyDeleteThis time it was old Saint Nick.
How can a comprehensive plan be created when they haven't defined the problem? Wheather elected or self-appointed, the leaders in KC are clueless. These same folks are more concerned about land grabs and controlling the school district and police department while everything else is spiraling out of control. None of these tasks seek to address the real issue... Face it, these seat-warmers are on a time limit (and term limit- Thank God!). Change occurs where the people are; not where there are more politicians! Nevertheless, stay your course... It provides for more ammunition to nail you with. There it is again... Shots fired; intellectual bullets this time.
ReplyDeleteHappy Holidays Kansas City Style.
ReplyDeleteWith Murder. How many does this make? They happen so fast I can't keep count.
Umm, dipshits?
ReplyDeleteThe photo and the story by Tony is FALSE.
Please dont be that stupid.