
Last night I went to check out the Mayor's X-mas Tree lighting ceremony.
I don't normally attend this event but I had been drinking and I have a warm coat so walking around the downtown area was a good way to keep from simply wasting away in my mom's basement (for a little while) and zoning out while watching TV.
The first thing I noticed was that there were hardly any Black people at the event. This makes sense. I think that last time I checked out one of these pointless ceremonies was during the Cleaver era and at that time African-American's comprised at least half of the crowd.
I guess things have really changed in Kansas City, but not that much . . . Walking towards Crown Center I noticed one Johnson County license plate after the next and as many suburbanites as the stars.
I arrived just in time to see that scumbag Chris Stigall take the stage and introduce himself. Either the crowd didn't know who he was or they didn't like him . . . He was very enthusiastic but the audience was cold and gave him a tepid response until he began pandering and espousing platitudes about Kansas City.
Even more surprisingly, the Mayor didn't garner much applause either.
I think that's why I decided to go to the event, to gauge the ground level reaction to these guys since their media image would lead people to believe that they are embraced by every white person with a radio. Not true, thankfully people are much more wrapped up in their own
bullshit lives. The Mayor's low poll numbers and Stigall's consistently second rate audience share speak more accurately than the propaganda they put forth . . . The lukewarm reaction of the people in the crowd confirmed my suspicions that their popularity is mostly media generated.
Not so surprisingly, Jared Allen seemed to be the favorite of the evening. I know I post a lot of jokes at the guy's expense but his statements and reaction to the evening's festivities seemed the most heartfelt. The guy honestly seemed to care about the Mayor's X-mas tree fund and he was the only person on stage who encouraged the audience to give to the cause.
Meanwhile, Stigall spent most of his time in front of the crowd promoting his ulta-conservative talk radio station, his tedious morning program and plugging t-shirts which shamelessly promote Funkhouser's image and also support
Mayor's Funky's inept handling of the X-mas tree fund.
The Mayor praised the work of the Cohen family, who (oddly enough) are a local, civic-minded Jewish family who have been largely responsible for keeping the Mayor's Christmas Tree Fund alive (???) . . . And then the Mayor went on to lie about his involvement with the charity. He didn't note that his Administration dropped the ball this year when it came to the fund, he failed to tell the crowd that he missed an initial deadline for filing the fund's annual report and that his wife has threatened to shift the focus of the X-mas tree fund to a politically correct charity which would benefit children rather than the continuing to help the elderly and shut-ins as it has in the past. Anecdotally, more than a few people have expressed and e-mailed their concern that the Funkhousers are ruining the Mayor's X-mas tree event (a KC tradition that's nearly 100 years old) with their incompetence and partisan politics. Luckily, the Mayor's words were mostly ignored as his dour and monotone speaking style (a la Dick Cheney) seemed to go unheeded.
Yet, for the most part, everybody seemed to have shown up simply to watch the pretty lights.
The fireworks display after the lighting was quaint and understated as well.
The multi-cultural aspect of the program was endured with pleasant golf claps by most of the crowd but again, the lights were what everyone really wanted to see.
The stage darkened and the audience was encouraged to light candles as the Kansas City Symphony choir (or whoever) sang "Silent Night."
An icy breeze swept through the gathering halfway through the song and extinguished nearly all of the tiny flames. I thought to myself that either God or global warming is a myth, but not both.
Jared Allen flipped the switch and all of Crown Center Square was illuminated. It was every bit as bright as I had remembered it as a kid. The crowd quickly disbursed and didn't wait for Stigall to get through his list of thank yous to contributors. I watched an angry guy accompanied by a really good looking woman yell "You suck Stigall!" at the stage as he left, it genuinely seemed to shock the talk show host for a second.
I hung around for a few minutes afterwards for no reason in particular. The crew didn't hesitate to strike the stage so they could get home early. The moon was nearly full but its glow was diminished by the thousands of bulbs lighting the outside of the shopping district. Finally, I decided to walk home.
I headed down Grand which was dark and mostly desolate. The Cashew, one of downtown's newer trendy bars, was only half full of hipsters and yuppies starting their evening as I turned and walked back to the Westside.