Black chamber opposes stadium tax

Does this man that Freedom Inc. has to return their checks?

Still, this is a fantastic move that for once puts the concerns of KC citizens ahead of business interests or Billionaire wish lists.

Missouri Not Ready For Big Disaster

And yet Matt Blunt is still in office and Claire McCaskill still lurks about.

Riederer drops county seat run

Co-chairman of the campaign to pass stadium renovations would rather take money baths in tax payer funds than compete with Henry Rizzo.

P&L District's development to move forward

They're calling it "a major milestone Thursday when the City Council approved four ordinances" that have completely failed to learn the lessons of the largely abandoned Town Pavilion.

KC quickly becoming part of the "flyover"

The Star reports that the FAA is moving jobs out of its downtown facility, and union leaders fear the regional operation that has employed about 400 people will close.

Deliveryman Fights Off Robber With Saw

Bravo to the Leavenworth Chinese Restaurant Delivery Dude. If you're curious, the altercation looked something like this:

Henry Rizzo Rages

KCTV 5 reports that Jackson County Legislative chair Henry Rizzo lost his cool when confronting rumors that he didn't support the Stadium Tax.

Rizzo said that's not true and then explained the misunderstanding.

Rizzo said,"I set up a mechanism to fix it if there was a problem. Let's vote to keep the stadiums."

A development agreement between the county, the Chiefs and the Royals was signed at the meeting.

Are you kidding, an Italian felon not supporting some sweet, publicly funded construction deal in KC. Fugghetaboutit.

Mom Gets 21 Months In Bar-Code Swap Scheme

Suburban mom runs her own version wife-swap for super savings and jail time. It's alleged she stole more than $350,000 in the retail theft scheme which is almost as good as suburban men, if only the money had come out of some kind of pension fund.

The best and worst businesses in KC

Today, The business Journal provides The Greater Kansas City Chamber of Commerce's list of the top 10 small businesses in KC for 2006.

Accordingly, here are the bottom ten businesses in KC:

• Jizz moppers Inc.
• Discount Hookers LLP
• Recycled BBQ
• The Writer's Place
• U-Lube it: Recycled Sex Toys
• Pretty much anything on 18th and Vine.
• The KC Center for Immigration Reform and burrito stand.
  
• Tin can and string Cellular Co.
  
• The Kansas City Association of Arab Airline Security Consultants
• The Angry Black Women in Service Jobs Placement Center
  

Youth Minister Accused Of Dodgeball Assault

Frankly, with all of the sexual scandals plaguing religious organizations, I'm happy these are the only balls the guy is accused of throwing at the kid.

Man, Woman Shot Near KC Nightclub

Mojado clubs threaten to rival local hip-hop clubs for violence. Damn Mexicans are taking over everything.

Leawood Seizes Land For New Justice Center

Not much justice for those in favor of property rights anymore. If you believe in any of the Feng Shui or Karma stuff, I think this might be a bad way to break ground for a "justice center."

Conservative News Roundup from The Whole Wheat Blogger

All the news you can use to drive your liberal friends crazy.

Braille in a KC bathroom

Another reason to be thankful today: You aren't blind using a public restroom.

The Long Overdue Demise of Priceless Diamonds

This is the last column for The Pitch's favorite former thief and hooker. Frankly, I'm surprised she lasted this long . . . Fortunately, it's only her column that has been killed and she wasn't the victim of gun violence.

"Kansas City's best days are behind it."

A melancholy post as we all wait to take it in the behind from BILLIONAIRE sports franchise owners.

"sweatin the small stuff"

The only reason to log onto the Internet on Friday.

Kansas City's boulevards

This pic illustrates a lot about this city.

Because I want to have sex with Nadia Pflaum AND I despise local hip-hop posers

Normally, I only read The Pitch when I'm looking for prostitutes but in this week's letters to the editor section an angry note from a group of spoiled white kids caught my eye.

We feel this article is a gross misrepresentation of the dancers mentioned as well as B-boying. Ms. Pflaum's story inadequately reflects the views of many interviewees and fails to include viewpoints of established and vital members of the local B-boy scene.

Sad thing is, I don't think this douche bag is kidding.

Let's get this straight: A bunch of white kids hang around in neighborhood basements and dance and they want recognition for anything other than the annual Gay Pride parade. The article doesn't mention hardly any women hanging out in this local "b-boy scene" (My Dick wants to laugh at that) so this is a group of male dancers up in arms about the article. Ghey. Liberace Ghey.

I didn't link to the article when it first came out because I thought it was some kind of joke but it turns out that there is a good chance these over indulged white kids and their three middle class minority friends are actually up in arms about the "coverage" they have received. This is part of the reason why I think that journalism is a dying art. All of the really interesting people don't talk to the press and everybody else would do much better to simply either release statements via their blog or a PR spokesperson. In the coming era, you're either a media whore or you're not.

So the b-boys took offense when their mere existence, their rape of a culture that's not their own and their gross consumption of whatever media is provided by the Tall Israelis is more than a little bit offensive to those of us who don't spend 21 hours a day watching MTV2. These children are what's wrong with modern cRap music and I miss the days when brats like these listened to skater rock.

As for their attack on my dear sweet Nadia . . . I know I don't have much of a chance with her because I'm pretty sure that everybody who works at The Pitch is a homosexual but I have to say that she does a great job as this town's top hip-hop reporter. In her latest piece she attempts to make sense of the bullshit spouted by KRS-One during his recent visit to Lawrence. And that's no small task . . . Take heart dear Nadia, covering hip-hop (particularly the locals) is a challenging endeavor . . . Especially considering there hasn't been anything important accomplished in the field of cRap music since 1997.

KCTV-5 accused of entrapment

BlogKC has all the details but I'm thinking this is yet another case of white people wanting to be Black. They get tans, listen to hip-hop and now they want the police to beat the shit out of them. Pretty soon it'll be cool for hipsters to go to spend an inordinate amount of time in prison or have high blood pressure.

Hanging chad in KC not as sexy as it sounds

This town's history is full of election fraud and in the historic Stadium Election it seems as if we're doomed to repeat the past. Additionally, I did not know that the April 4th election will be the last time we'll use punch card ballots. After that you don't have to worry about voting anymore because Diebold will do it for you.

Just received an e-mail from the only anonymous person on the Internet who doesn't hate me (sniffle) . . . Here are the highlights:

• Missouri's history of election fraud is more like current events. The state was sued for voting violations in the 2004 election, including registering more people to vote in some counties than their entire voting-age population. One of those counties was, you guessed it, Jackson County.


• Punch Card Ballots are very easy to screw with . . .


• KC still relies heavily on punch card ballots . . .


• Tampering evidence can be found by looking for precincts that have an abnormally high rate of "discards" . . .

In other words, if The Star still hasn't brainwashed this town by election time then we could be still be on the verge of being punched out like we were one of Larry Johnson's girlfriends.

Here is the complete text of the interesting anonymous e-mail. Read it for yourself. It makes an interesting case.

The Incentives Keep Rolling In

Politics in this town functions on nothing but bribes, coercion and intimidation. Recently, the latest bit of propaganda news put forth by Stadium Supporters is that that an NCAA Final Four is likely for Kansas City if voters in Jackson County approve renovations at the Truman Sports Complex that include a rolling roof.

Well, that's nothing. Sources tell me that the next major announcement regarding the Stadium Tax will be that Kansas City will host the Resurrection of Jesus Christ pending the approval of more than a BILLION dollars toward the rolling roof and Stadium restoration.

Finally, the enormity of this Stadium Vote is being revealed. A few Mormons might be a little bit upset because Jesus was supposed to make his return in Independence but it's really only a variance of a short distance and it turns out they were less off base than most of the world's religions.

This effort to sway voters by announcing major events that could possibly be held at Truman Sports Complex pending the approval of the Stadium Tax is a powerful marketing gimmick that is sure to convince a lot of people to empty their wallets. In fact, I'm sure that the PR effort to garner more than a Billion dollars for Lamar Hunt and David Glass with little economic benefit for the people of Jackson County is most likely The Greatest Story Ever Told . . . Seriously, it's clear that the greed of Stadium Tax supporters puts every other priority in this town at a distant second.

Local lawyers want to keep their secret

"Three unidentified lawyers who lent money to one-time municipal judge Deborah Neal have appealed a judge's decision ordering that the names of Neal's lawyer-creditors be disclosed." I guess Attorney/Client privilege doesn't cover payoffs for gambling debts.

A new look for KC Talk

It took hours upon hours for the guys at KC Talk to make some impressive changes to their site. Check out their work and show your appreciation to one of the few local forums and media outlets that isn't controlled by a conglomerate.

To the left

Recently, MoDOT approved a plan for crisscrossing lanes.

Drivers will be directed toward the left hand side of the road on the Front Street approach to Interstate 435. It's a national first aimed at reducing traffic congestion and is should also allow you to pretend that you're James Bond for a fleeting moment.

I-35 Tourism Coalition debuts Website for Travelers

No word if the new page links to all of the porn and ghey rest stops available on the route but the info is probably readily available on the net anyway. Additionally, this could be the lamest thing I've ever linked.

KCK man beaten with his own bike

The victim is mentally challenged, the perpetrator is retarded.

Display Studios leaves Crossroads for KCK

Real estate speculation is ruining yet another cool thing in KC.

Man Robbed While Getting Gas In Northland

Obviously, by people other than the executives of the big oil companies.

Update: Now, I don't feel too bad about this guy getting jacked. Apparently, he is a jewelry salesman so it's pretty much nothing more than karma in action.

"Rhonda Chriss Lokeman is embarrassing"

One of the worst columnists at The Star (and that's saying something) can bend over backwards for her editors (Har!) but clearly can't use a map. Another blogger contends, "Any moron can get a column in a newspaper if they're liberal enough." Also check the comments for some pretty rightous ripping of The Star from a conservative perspective.

Posthuman Blues refers to "Otherkin"

These are people who describe themselves as being non-human in some way . . . Like those who support The Stadium Tax.

"If I were a Jackson County resident, the second thing I would do is move to Johnson County."

I'm thinking about Clay County myself. I want to be close to our mayor.

"Fundamental, moral principles aren't worth much compared to a six-figure patronage job."

Local blogger Joe is back in top form as he calls out Jim Rowland. Frankly, for me this guy is one the biggest disappointments among local politicos. Because he is tall and white I expected him to eventually take power but he didn't want to be Mayor and do this town some good, he'd rather feed his wallet. I noticed over the years that the guy has been putting on a lot of weight and he certainly doesn't look like the man he once was . . . They say at 50 you get the face you deserve.

Save Our County!

Save Our Stadiums co-chairman Albert Riederer became one of five candidates challenging incumbent Henry Rizzo in the Democratic primary for the 2nd District at-large seat on the County Legislature.

You are now forced to decide between a felon and corporate crook of pretty much the same sort. When I wonder why people move to the cultural wasteland of Johnson County, I think this has to be part of the reason. Italian vs. Corporate feudalism advocate . . . In this race I'm sure everybody loses.

Additionally, this kind of news makes me wonder if all of those Iraqis who aren't really that hot about Democracy might have a point after all.

Gayle Holliday and a bunch of other minority "leaders" sell out their own people

Who needs more cops when Lamar Hunt and David Glass need a new roof? Why should there be street lights in crime ridden communities when the Royals centerfield is in need of more seating? The Black and Latino middle class who back the Stadium Tax have completely betrayed their own communities in an effort to line their pockets. Holliday is making 100k for this measure to include minorities and women that has much merit as a promise that a Chiefs player makes to a bar room skank.

I hope her generous compensation also includes a few pieces of silver. The "fair-share" program is so unbelievably stupid and short sighted that it almost makes me believe all of those things I heard in high school about minorities being inferior. Thankfully, I know that it's really only the minority middle classes with their hand out who back the thing and they really only represent themselves.

Funny thing about photo ops

This article details the fact that local politicos would do well to avoid Hillary just like Bill does and stay away from Dick Cheney as if he had a gun.

Mayor Kay is a Vampire

After putting many longtime Downtown businesses out on the street. Mayor Kay is now rabidly defending repugnant eminent domain laws.

Kansas City Mayor Kay Barnes told Missouri lawmakers Tuesday that her city couldn't turn itself around without sometimes taking private property. "We have to have the right of eminent domain" to use as a last resort, Barnes said.

Clearly, it sure beats having to share the redevelopment wealth with businesses who have managed to stick it out through the lean years in KC.

What's clear in this article is the Mayor's blood lust for the kind of ultimate power that can rescind property rights. I haven't met a Republican or Democrat in this town who thinks that recent rulings concerning eminent domain make sense. This is yet another clear example of how out of touch our fair leader is . . . In the her Clay County Lair.

No more KCI parking discount for the disabled

Rumor has it that airport security has also been advised to stick metal pipes in the spokes of wheelchairs as they pass just to get the point across. Apparently, you have to walk before you can fly.

Independence Police let Felon walk

Database mix-up fails to report the guy's record.

American Idol finalist Mandisa has a huge connection to the metro

They say she's a front runner but I'm pretty sure that all the contestants and viewers are the real losers when it comes to this show. Recent studies suggest that opening a book won't kill you.

Teasing hookers will get you shot

A local man learned the hard way that only pimps are allowed to taunt hookers. Fox 4 news reports that officers said they encountered the man teasing prostitutes at 526 Spruce late Tuesday night. After confronting the man, he scuffled with the officer, who drew his gun and fired once.

I'd like to think that maybe the cops were defending the honor of these desperate ladies and maybe that isn't far from the truth. I've been told that you have to pay hookers in order to berate them or at least buy them a couple of drinks, pay for dinner and a movie and make false promises about getting married.

Cops Find Crack in Car After Crash

Initially, they only suspected that a Chinese person was driving.

KCK Drug Team Raids Homes

OR . . . Poor whites, Blacks and Mexicans must make smarter attempts at entrepenurialism. Too bad they haven't been offered many sweeet contracting gigs in Iraq.

Goals set for minority, women in stadium upgrades

However, everybody knows that these goals will go the way of empty New Year's resolutions or promises to remain faithful, celibate or sober.

Independence plant gets $9.2M ammo order

Jobs are great. I'm not against jobs. But does this count as blood money? No, that's couldn't be right. Every single person shot by our military deserves it. That kind of thinking is what makes this a great company country.

Greg Reeves doesn't know what the fuck he's writing about . . .

Last week, Greg Reeves of The Star's spamblog Crime Scene KC was busy hyping the great pandemic of violence that had finally hit downtown KC when white people showed up for something other than business on St. Paddy's Day. Turns out he was completely wrong and the KCPD notes that there was actually a significant drop in the number of arrests.

Still, Reeves and quite a few local message boards were all to happy to slap a photo of a young Black kid eating concrete at the hands of two cops. This perception that all darkies are criminals by white people and their subsequent panic is ultimately self-defeating. I've often noted that any truly successful venture in this city is going to have to take into account that there are now a lot of Black and brown people with cars who like nice shit too AND that fear is much more harmful than bullets, your daughter dating a Black guy or the fact that it's mainly Mexicans who make your meal.

Still, Reeves was all too happy to note the fear and intolerance he was bolstering as his comment count went sky high thanks to the suburban dipshits who believe anything that local media has to offer when it comes to serious examinations of race and violence.

Reeves can spin stats all he wants but in the end it seems as if he does nothing more than offer encouragement of all the worst instincts of his (mostly white and old) readership. It's a shame that he's calling his web page a blog because it really seems like nothing more than a cry for a help from a rapidly decaying institution. If you look closely into their glass house you'll see a lot of scared white people who are simply looking to inspire in you the same kind of terror that they feel when they realize that this town simply doesn't need a daily paper anymore.

Fairway Residents Upset Over City Hall Site

It's nice to see suburbanites worked up over something besides Black people moving next door.

Deputy Sentenced For Having Sex With Inmate

OR . . . Is there any other reason to be a guard at a women's prison?

Negotiators Compromise On Animal Cruelty Bill

In order to avoid a felony charge you must claim to be preparing Korean cuisine.

Girl Pulled From Class Over Hair Color

I completely side with the young lady on this issue. Students need to learn to ignore slutty distractions or else every lower back tattoo or short skirt will draw their gaze when they should be concentrating. If only I had learned this lesson . . .

Pedestrian Struck By Car On Busy OP Road

I'm just as shocked as you are by this story. I had no idea that they even had pedestrians in Overland Park.

Tearing down Kansas City

Local blog "Curb Girl" posts some amazing photos of Kansas City's History being erased. I swear if you look at the photos closely you can see the ghosts of Mayor Kay's empty promises about preserving KC's history and neighborhoods.

The many dislikes of the X-man

"These things I believe" by local blogger X/O (not the gay club).

Pizza in KC

This could be the most important thing you read today. Please leave your favorite local pizza joints in the comments section. Bloggers may not beat the Stadium Tax but at least this town will be well informed when it comes to places where you can get a decent slice.

Seriously, I need suggestions because the cardboard box tastes better than what Pizza Hut is serving up nowadays.

Black people hate Mexicans

However, besides cheap labor, Latino immigrants also offer Black people yet another excuse about why they can't make it other than "The Man," drugs, the system, liquor, cigarettes and their addiction to white women from which I also suffer.

The Untold Truth from Nike

Nope, it's not a link about sweatshops. Actually, it's a pretty great post featuring sneakers so nice your credit card will start to heat up. Additionally, a portion of the proceeds will go to fund KC's own Negro Leagues Hall of Fame and Museum right here in KC.

Sneak Preview

Yesterday, BlogKC provided all of the scoop regarding the Stadium Tax debate and noted that Royals owner David Glass will be a guest on KCPT's new Talk Back Live show this week.

Well, I found a clip of the appearance and I've edited it together with a few of my own thoughts. It's really just a small sound bite from Glass but I think you should find it informative.

Look who's blogging: The Pitch

John Kreicbergs author of the best local music site Patchchord seems a little skeptical of the recent entry of The Pitch into the Blogosphere. Wayward Blog is okay but I found that the coverage of local call girls was noticeably lacking and The Pitch is the best local resource for that kind of thing so they should find a way to work into their expanded music coverage.

TKC pithy quote award goes to Terrence Nash

On the subject of the Stadium Tax: "The owners are concerned with us being a cowtown. A cash cow maybe."

Official 'Buy KC' effort could be in the works

The Small Business Council of the Greater Kansas City Chamber of Commerce is exploring new ways to encourage co-operation among local businesses and help entrepreneurs grow. Personally, I think the 'Buy KC' effort should note the many people from KC who trek out to Overland Park Mall to spend their money because this town has no decent mall.

Former U.S. Attorney Todd Graves partners with Missouri Sen. Matt Bartle to form law firm

This article details the ongoing love story between the two as Graves will now defend corporate criminals at the new Brokeback law firm.

Raisch is granted plea deal

OR . . . Only whites and middle class suburbanites can expect leniency.

Hopping Out of Kansas City

Perhaps it could be a reaction to the violence during the St. Patrick's Day parade or maybe it's simply a search for a change of scenery but I think the decision to move Kansas City's Annual Easter Parade to North KC's Zona Roza (half-way to Iowa) is nothing more than part of the ongoing attempt of local white people to try and run and hide from minorities.

The annual Easter parade was a fixture on the Country Club Plaza for almost 40 years until it fell into reclusion about 10 years ago . . . "Because Zona Rosa is reminiscent of a historic city downtown, this is a perfect opportunity to bring back the tradition of the parade to the local community."

Ya hear that Mayor Kay? You've had decades in City Hall trying to do something with downtown and a few real estate developers have apparently managed to put together a "historic city" in only a fraction of that time. If only you could pick up and move this town away from the pesky minorities then maybe you could show some success as well. It would be a lot easier than trying to move all of the darkies and bums out of downtown and neighboring communities . . .

Still, both the scared suburban runaway tactic and the urban luxury loft/condo minority relocation program are both doomed to failure because they are predicated on racism and classism. Run to the suburban hinterlands and eventually Black people will show up because (Surprise!) they know how to drive and they want nice schools and neighborhoods as well. Think you can price out all of the darkies from the urban core? Let's see your property values after a summer crime wave threatens to splash dangerously close to your loft or condo. As much as any other part of the country, Kansas City has a pronounced history of segregation and white flight that have defined this community for the worse.

Yet, the white people of KC would still rather try all kinds of schemes to avoid succumbing to the temptations of interracial dating rather than admit this is a town (like every other in this nation) which has an ever growing number of darkies. Therefore, all of the exciting new "developments" in this city focus on nothing more than the hope that rowdy Black and brown people will stay away. I wouldn't exactly call that attitude reflective of a march of progress but rather a parade of provincialism that wants to protect their celebration of a filthy rodent dispensing diabetic stroke inducing sweets.

Digital Geek Productions Launches in KC

Interesting press release about a new area media company that "will not be marketed as a local Kansas City business, but as a global institution equidistant between the East and West Coast." Which is strangely the same way I'm thinking of marketing my skillz in asshatery and smart ass remarks.

Woman Accused Of Driving Over Boyfriend

While I could make a joke about the woman probably getting sick of the guy not asking for directions . . . I take this stuff seriously because it frighteningly points out yet another risk of allowing women to drive.

Adult Store Clerk Fights Off Robber

It was a woman clerk and thankfully she wasn't seriously injured. However, I was mislead when I discovered this story looking for a page featuring a much more pleasant rendition of a woman "beating off" in a porn store.

Benevolent Blogger

If you are a member of a 501(3)(c)organization in need of a computer or you know one, please get in touch with this local blogger who is giving away his computer.

Passing on this info is good karma and will help you as you try to convince hot women to sleep with you simply as an act of charity.

Urban Walkabout

Five great photo sets featuring Downtown to Midtown Kansas City from this local blogger. See for yourself.

"Steroids, Surgery and Normalcy"

This is an amazing post (w/pics) from a local blogger brave enough to share the details of her recent medical troubles.

"Today I quit my job."

The fascinating details of Sirvinegar's life are swashbuckling indeed. Best of luck to this pivotal player in the local blogosphere!

As a sign of my admiration I offer this pirated booty pic for inspiration and inspired by your bold and brave career move:



Arrrr. Shiver my timbers!! Has anybody noticed that nearly every librarian you've ever met is really cool? Good luck to you brave Sir.

Brotherly Love

I would be remiss if I didn't direct you to this amazing post by NY Blogger Dallas Penn that passionately captures his family life. Read this post and then tell your siblings that you love them in between your bitter arguments about the merits of Astroturf or similarly meaningless nonsense.

New Blog: Light & Bitter in Kansas City

This local blogger hails from Great Britain and he is part of a husband and wife documentary team with a film showing at the KC Jubilee.

What could be Moore entertaining?

TFK provides a full report on Dennis Moore's visit to the KU campus last night. I'm a little jealous of Rosenau because I spent last night alone at home and he not only grabbed some face time with the Kansas politico but also was probably well entertained by watching the guy duck, dodge and wriggle out of tight spots along with talking out of both sides of his mouth.

Billionaire Theater

I’ve been wanting to try this YouTube thing out for awhile and I finally got my chance. I figure with all of the Anti-Stadium movies floating around the Internet it was time for me to take my turn. Hope you like because I had a pretty fun time making it. There may be more to come and maybe not. One thing is for sure, I’m going to take a nap now after working on this thing much longer than I should have . . .

K City: A Comic Strip

I have a prediction, this new comic strip by Bruno Pieroni is going to be a big deal. I've read the first page and I'm already hooked. Check it out for yourself and it won't take you long to become a fan. Seriously, I can't say enough good things about this blog/comic/creation that brilliantly captures this town's bar room banter.

Convicted murderer lashes out in court

I have little sympathy for murderers but reading this story and learning that the guy spit on his lawyer after being found guilty made me understand his frustration . . . And I probably would have completely sided with the guy if it was a divorce case.

"Edited For Honesty"

A recent article in The Star about minority hiring is cut to shreds by this local blogger.

New Blog: Bike Friendly KC

A group blog for cyclists and pedestrians in KC.

A great review of the KC Home Show

Downtown KC: Where you can hike, eat, drink and admire "Mr. Sticky." Awesome post, read for yourself.

High court blocks downtown eminent domain

The decision comes to late to save any of the longtime businesses forced out by Clay County Kay but it will allow a downtown parking lot to continue holding cars hostage with exorbitant fees.

A rip-off by any other name

Recently, the Business Journal reported that according to a development agreement approved by the Jackson County Legislature, a "naming rights purchaser" could pay $32 million toward construction of a $202 million rolling roof at Truman Sports Complex.

Since I'm all about helping out. I'd like to suggest a few names other than simply a company moniker that people end up resenting anyway.

Here goes:

• The "Damn this is nicer than being able to flush my toilet" roof.


• The "We've got the good people of JoCo covered" rolling roof.


• The "Roll over and take it in the booty from billionaires" roof
  

New Blog: Nervous Conditions

Here's a local blog from one of my favorite writers who has moved around a bit but now seems settled into a very nicely designed site. If you have a local blog that I haven't yet linked, please let me know!

Two Cat Killers Head To Jail

Where to go with this one? I don't know why anybody would want to hurt pussy . . . Maybe get a little bit rough but not kill it. OR Animal rights activists are turning this country into a bunch of pussies. Sad thing is, I know a few guys who have killed people who have served less time than these two.

The Aftermath

What happened yesterday was one of the biggest non-violent protests this town (KCK actually) has ever seen. The Mexicans (mostly Mexicans) on the street numbered in the thousands. The crowd dwarfed the many gathers at Mill Creek park (pointlessly) protesting against the war in Iraq. The march was poorly organized, last minute and thankfully did not host a single one of KC's many Latino "leaders" . . . At the very least, the March clearly demonstrated the vast listening audience of those horrible Spanish stations that my Grandma loves.

I would write more but I know my audience. The Internets is dominated by white guys with a serious inferiority complex. The Internets is home to people (like myself) who don't speak out in real life but suddenly become potential Masters of the Universe in the safety of their own home and in their underwear in front of the keyboard. So, I'll save any of the pious ranting about how much you need cheap labor. We'll just (falsely) assume that you're willing to pay more for stuff that was made with pride in the U.S. of A while the demise of the American auto industry and the outsourcing of so many high tech jobs to India prove otherwise. What's clear is that there is a growing division in this country regarding immigration but it's unclear whether Americans will chose low prices over their misguided notion that this nation will stay white. What I find obvious and what interests me more than the one of the biggest grassroots protest movements this country has seen in more than a generation is the backlash that this effort is sure to create.

I've always known that every single white person I've ever met was a racist. But what I wonder is if they love cutting brown people's throats so much that they'll gladly cut their own in the process. I don't want to get into a macro economic debate with your dumbass, because I'd win. But we'll just agree that this country was built on slave labor and maintained on cheap labor and those two things have served to make this nation great powerful.

Local blogger wins big

If you've read the blog of this UMKC student, you know that she's taken on the institution in a valiant struggle to claim a refund she was deserved. Well congrats to the local blogger because she won, take a look at her archives and you'll see what a gut wrenching struggle it was . ..

Old Lady Takes Highway to Heaven

I know that it's bad karma to make fun of car crashes and house fires but I have to wonder what in the HELL a local 83 year-old woman was doing on the highway other than trying to take a few other people with her on her final journey.

Sadly, the old girl's life was most likely cut short by a whole 2 weeks. Her passenger was also taken to the hospital for minor injuries and probably pure shock from watching an old broad drive like that . . . I thought the rule was: Anybody over 80 has to give up all technological devices in exchange for sweaters, soup and meals on wheels. But, I could be wrong . . . That new prescription drug benefit still confuses the hell out of me as well.

Star's ad linage falls in February

The Chiefs and Royals are the only two companies making good use of The Star.

KDOT Issues Warning About Roadside Trash

KMBC reports: "Kansas highway workers and volunteers who collect roadside trash are being urged to be careful about what they pick up." Yeah, they've been telling young skanks the same thing for years as well and still few people change their behavior or wear protection.

Stadium Project To Cost $18 Per Person

A small price to pay in order to ensure that the Hunt and Glass families will continue to hold on to their billions for years to come.

Chase Lands Westwood Police Car In Brush Creek

Fake cops in real trouble are all wet. Glorified security guards whose main job is to hassle minorities passing through (or looking for victims) can go jump in the creek for all I care.

"Kansas City: Rally for Immigrant Rights!"

Here is more info about today's protests from a local anarchist who obviously loves burritos. "Rally for Immigrant Rights! 3-24-06 Friday March 24, 2006 11:15 a.m. Vega Park located in Argentine in KCK At the corner of Metropolitan Ave. and S. 24th St."

No Mas

All over the country this week there have been protests regarding the rights Latinos. Today, several Mexican radio stations are promoting a walkout and protests for local Latinos (mainly Mexicans) who are getting sick of being confused with filthy Arabs.

Really, the only terrorist threat Mexicans pose is toward your daughter.

Anyway, hopefully the local news will pick up on this while already protests in other cities have yielded surprising turnouts. I'm thinking about heading to a protest today so you might see some pics later. I'm not going because I believe in any cause but I figure if the cops try to haul me away for being an undocumented worker I just might have a big fat settlement check headed my way for their racist assumptions. Ka-Ching!

Besides, the whole immigrant issue is simply a case of supply and demand in my mind. It's very much like the relationship between hooker and john. The john doesn't really have any business complaining about the hooker after he has availed himself of her services and like it or not Mexican labor is what keeps cheeseburgers, home construction, etc., etc. cheap.

What I find even more funny about this issue is how it puts white people at each other's throats. The big biz Republicans are all for it (Remember Reagan's amnesty?) while their religious and racist base are so rabidly against Mexicans that they'd deport Taco Bell workers if they could. However, let's not forget that plenty of Democrats also exploit the President's soft hand (nullus) toward Mexicans and talk of security concerns in order to sway conservatives on the fence.

Still, I'm not really worried because the Klan and white supremacists other than Dick Cheney have taught me that cheap labor is the white man's weakness. As long as there is money to be made than any attempts to keep out the Mexicans will likely meet with the same failure faced by the adversaries of Speedy Gonzalez. In the end, the white and Black people who so vehemently oppose immigration are simply poor people who don't want any more competition . . . And if history has taught you anything it should be that nobody cares what poor people think.

My Dick Wants to Laugh Regarding Promises to Minorities about Stadium Work

Today's insult to Kansas City regarding the Stadium Tax is directed at local minorities who (attempt) to work in construction. A recent PR gesture promises to hire hundreds of minority workers for Stadium improvements and the Rolling Roof Rip-off should it pass.

Negotiators for the county say the agreements would ensure that women and minority contractors and workers get their fair share of any stadium improvement work, which would employ about 1,000 people a year. They said the agreements go beyond anything ever done in construction locally or in professional sports.

Mind you, this is in the same city that has so far completely failed to include minorities in all of the current construction projects that are going on in the city. Recently, both African-American groups have united to voice concerns over a lack of hiring in area construction along with local Latinos who have also protested the Sprint Center over their lack of inclusion in that project.

So why should these same groups trust a City that has already failed to hold up their end of the bargain when it comes to minority hiring?

On a similar note, the few times I've visited the Stadiums I've noticed only white people in the stands. The only minorities are on the field so there really isn't much attachment to the teams in local minority communities (read: the shitty parts of town). Similarly, while minority protests are entertaining just like pro sports . . . The darkies may have a point when it comes to this issue.

The only minority who is going to benefit if the Stadium Tax passes is Larry Johnson and that's reason enough to vote no . . . Not only for the benefit of your pocket book but also to save a few white women from the wrath of the smackdown they'll inevitably receive if Larry gets his way.

This town is trashy

Thank God that you can pretend to care about the environment while you live in a country that is completely dependent of foreign oil. In an effort to garner votes from environmentalists and other homosexuals Kansas City has decided to test plastic trash bins in lieu of plastic trash bags. The bins will be distributed to 8,000 families who will bore their relatives and friends with the details of the transition.

Along with the wasted effort on trash the City Council also approved the following ideas:

• Money for 36 additional firefighters and 40 additional police officers.


• Funding for a 311 call center, scheduled to start in mid-July, which citizens can call for basic city services in the same way they call 911 for emergencies.


• Full funding for park and boulevard mowing.


• Money for an additional Legal Aid attorney to assist neighborhoods with zoning, liquor control and code enforcement issues.


• Money to boost the salaries of certain entry-level positions that in the past have had a lot of turnover, such as animal control officers and maintenance workers.

Items that may have went overlooked by Council Watchers:

• Hair Dye for Alvin Brooks. You've noticed too right? It makes him look young and sexy and virile. Look out ladies. Seriously, look out.
  


• On a similar note, the Council approved more Turtle Wax for Terry Riley's head. It gives him an aerodynamic appearance that helps to avoid any scrutiny about the sorry state of his district.


• Pork for Chuck Eddy. To quell his insatiable appetite.
  


• And kneepads for all City Council members who have done little to stand in the way of Clay County Kay's rampage of condo, loft and stadium development.
  

A local Hurricane tragedy

Not really, just a couple of indy bands that didn't turn up after all. Local blog Happy in Bag provides the details and a nasty photo of a local restroom that makes me want to wash my hands.

Urban renewal removal

When a conspiracy theory is true, they end up calling it history. I'm sure that there had to have been a few Native Americans who suspected that their people would eventually fall victim to genocide but feared speaking out about it because they didn't want to seem crazy and a few sips of firewater cures most anxiety.

I have no such fear so I'm going to clue you into the latest KC conspiracy that is right under Clay County Kay's skirt . . . Yes, it's that frightening.

There is a systematic effort to remove all of the poor people from Kansas City.

As I mentioned earlier, the best conspiracies are right out in the open and our Mayor Kay has made no secret of how much she loves lofts and condos. Every step of the way, she has encouraged "development" rather than maintenance and infrastructure improvements that this town so desperately needs.

Recently, this town's shitty sewer system has been brought to light and fixing KC's old pipes will most likely run every bit of 3 BILLION DOLLARS (Cue: Steve Glorioso doing a Dr. Evil Laugh). Still, there is a push for the Stadium Tax and previously the successful campaign for the Sprint Center which proves once and for all that we're better than St. Louis because we have a home for Arena Football and tractor pulls.

And eventually, you have to ask yourself why silly stadiums would take precedence over the people of this town being able to flush their toilets. The answer is simple: The sewers are important enough that eventually voters in this town will have to get their shit together and pay for them. Therefore, it's beneficial for Kay and crew to fulfill their wish list regardless of this town's needs. Why? Because they can simply raise the sewer rates when the time comes.

For the condo and loft dwellers in town high sewer rates won't be much of a sacrifice but it will break many of the po'folk and those on a fixed income in KC. They most likely will have to move somewhere else and that was the plan after all. Ignoring the city's infrastructure needs is a roundabout way of pricing out poor people in KC when those bills inevitably come due.

Sure, Mayor Kay inherited the problem from the Good Reverend Cleaver who got a message from God that KC needed to become a gambling Mecca. But Mayor Kay's single minded purist of vanity projects rather than the unglamorous work of filling potholes and securing better storm drains was a brilliant move on par with the invention of Malt Liquor and the penny slot machine.

The only drawback is that rich people didn't get rich by writing checks and I can't imagine too many people will be enthusiastic about living in a city with such high taxes and sub par city services.

Sure, the truth is out there and it's simple: City planning that consists of nothing more than raising taxes time and again is not only unwise but also unfair to the many longtime KC residents who are essentially being driven out of town by the city's elected officials and their willful incompetence.

Hey now, you're an All Star!

The incentives to vote for the Stadium Tax keep rolling in . . . Now there is a promise from Major league Baseball that more than a half a billion dollars of Jackson County taxes will also buy an All-Star game for Kansas City.

And I have to admit that using bribes to get votes is the right idea. Somewhere out there I'm sure there is a Meth addicted baseball fan (many actually) who would just love to see an All-Star game in person under a billion dollar rolling roof that is far superior to the night sky.

But if Stadium Tax supporters want to really garner support they are going to have to get much more aggressive. Bribes are fine and they work wonders with politicians but a perk like an All-Star game that most of us could never afford to attend really doesn't hold much of a thrill.

Instead, I think it's time for a personal touch. A nasty one.

Since Danni Boatwright has already proven herself to be a whore for the Stadium Tax it's time she really earned her keep. If I'm going to vote for the thing I would like some sexual favors from Ms. Boatwright and I think a lot of other voters would appreciate the gesture as well. One good turn (me first) deserves another and if KC is going to lay down for Lamar Hunt and David Glass then there should be some reciprocity.

At the very least I think Ms. Boatwright owes it to all of us to participate in hardcore pornography and freely distribute it on the Internet. Now, obviously, there might be a few objections to this strategy but if the people of Jackson County are getting screwed on this deal (they are) then we should get to enjoy some actual screwing. It's the right thing to do.

"Back in the High Life Again"

Whenever I don't update this blog promptly, please blame the good people at Miller Brewing company.

There is no such thing as integration

Recent news that carjackers are targeting the Ruskin Heights area reminds me that there is no such thing as integration there are merely neighborhoods in transition.

In my neck of the woods, the rich white people want back in and they are kicking out all of the poor and mostly minority folk in order to build their silly looking lofts, condos and poorly designed houses. Ruskin Heights was once a nice suburban neighborhood until a few Black people moved in, the whites left (bolted), the property values plummeted and then more Black people (this time poorer ones) moved in and now the area and a great deal of South KC is in free fall.

Last year, in the same vicinity of Ruskin Heights Robert Osborn was man shot to death while riding his bike home from work and nearly a decade ago the rape and murder of Ann Harrison in the area spelled the beginning of white flight and the end of a decent neighborhood. You can place your blame for this situation on the predominately Black and Meth'd out white perpetrators of crime, the white flight that initially dropped property values in the area or the fear and ignorance that guides nearly all instances of crime and panic. It doesn't matter because in the end, no matter who you blame . . . You're going to want to do it from another location that doesn't put you in jeopardy of being robbed or killed in poor, ignored and illustrative of this town's history . . . Ruskin Heights.

Second Shot

The sequel to an earlier controversial Flash movie against the Stadium Tax is entitled "Fear Our Stadiums" and it encourages the people of Jackson County to exercise their freedom and tell the Chiefs and Royals that they are free to leave.

The movie is definitely a must see for people who want to know more about the Stadium Tax and need a laugh when contemplating the near billion dollar proposal.

Additionally, I should add that this movie is safe for work unlike the last one . . . That is, unless you work at the Truman Sports complex.

Town Topics: Gunning for you

• Gun nuts will find it harder to conceal their contempt of Gov. Sebelius.


• Free tour of stadiums could cost you half a billion dollars.


• Hazing at UMKC under investigation by police who are surprised that anybody would want to be in the worthless Greek organizations at the school.


• Kansas is good for business as long as your company doesn't plan to evolve.


• Missouri subscribers of Time were improperly billed and they might also feel a little short changed by the rag's limp commentary.


• City Manager Wayne Cauthen is a visionary or at least that what his new trophy says.

So you don't have to read The Star: Money problems

• Entercom lawsuit alleges that the company illegally traded air time for payments. It's a very rare payola case that is surprisingly unrelated to the sports radio division singing the praises of the Stadium Tax.


• Hero worship from The Star. They like the dead Mexicans a lot more than the live ones.


• In a move to secure their borders, keep out the darkies and otherwise be a pain in the ass, Kansas Cops now asking for your license, registration, fingerprints and dignity.


• Former Kansas congressional candidate Adam Taff begins serving his 15-month sentence today for wire fraud and violating campaign finance laws.


• Teachers unions oppose school choice because they know that nobody would choose them.


• The Star is still riled up over St. Patrick's Day violence. Mainly because a story that happened just a few blocks from their building and involved one of their employees is about the only recent news item they can adequately cover. However, I think that if we're going to start beating Star employees we should begin with the editorial board and then work our way down to Greg Reeves and Steve Penn.

On the money campaign trail

In a top secret visit to Kansas City, Hillary Clinton left town having reportedly raised at least 40k and a lot of false hope.

Bullets at bedtime

An East side roving gun battle wounds a 64 year-old woman laying on her bed. The Star asserts that the area surrounding the shooting was "turned into a combat zone" which is the most honest assessment of East side violence in years. Surprisingly, as the weather slowly warms up it's clear that it isn't the "silence" that's killing us . . . It's the bullets.

Self-service for Local Latinos

If you want a bright shining example of the failure of the KC School District to serve Latinos (and most of their other students for that matter) look no further than the opening of Cristo Rey Kansas City School next year. Local Latinos have given up on public schools and built their own instead.

Blogger Backtalk: Double Down

• Local blogger JDub on Bush's effort to double down on Iraq: "Someone needs to tell him Dick Cheney is not God."


• The KC Kitty provides links to theater events in KC just in case you're feeling like a pussy or want to try and turn yourself ghey.


• Mission Impossible: Taking Tom Cruise seriously.

Father Rescues Two Children From Burning House

KCTV 5 reports that it wasn't clear whether or not the smoke detectors in the home worked but fortunately all fathers have a built in temperature gauge that also detects if anybody has been screwing with the thermostat.

MU President To Recommend 5 Percent Tuition Hike

No word on similar reduction on Ramen noodles. Expect increasingly hot and desperate strippers.

KC man charged with rape, sodomy of 4-year-old niece to go to trial

KSHB reports that police said during Godsy's interrogation he became very emotional and started to cry. Godsy did not make any admission of guilt, police said, only stating he will never have anything to do with women again.

H&R Block diversifies into troubled waters

The company tries to expand out the tax preparation business by allegedly engaging in fraudulent marketing of its retirement accounts and other schemes as well. Thing is, if a lot of people couldn't trust them with their paltry savings, it's a shame that KC has handed over nearly all of downtown to house their boiler room headquarters.

Metro Dodges Bulk Of Snow Storm

OR, if local weather men can't be honest about their sexuality (you know who I'm talking about) then there is not reason to trust them at all. There are many colors in the homo rainbow guys, let your colors shine.

"Kansas City has so much to offer"

Bradley Meehan, the funniest man in KC, runs down some entertainment options in KC while discussing the Chiefs on sports radio. While he fails to mention bitch slapping in local bars but it's still a pretty good list.

Raising the dead

Not so long ago, people looking to commit voter fraud used the names of dead people in order to garner more votes.

Currently, the proponents of the Stadium Tax are putting the corpse of Hank Stram to good use by using him to push their proposal.

Sadly, the Chiefs have to resort to grave robbing in order to hearken back to their glory days as they have included images of the beloved Chiefs coach and the team's last Super Bowl victory more than a generation ago in recent pro-Stadium Tax commercials.

Currently, other than valiant efforts to get tax money the present day team hasn't really had much luck in securing important victories. So they are now seeking help from the great beyond as Stadium Tax proponents conjure up fear and misinformation to accomplish this rolling roof rip-off.

New Plan Will Transform Kauffman Stadium to a 'Park Within a Park'

Strangely, pervs and ghey people (nearly the same thing) have to go to a park in order to get screwed. Voting for the Stadium Tax to support this kind of dumbass project will save you time.

KC online advertising firm gets $48 million investment from top VC firm

Adknowledge earns one of the biggest VC deals this town has ever seen. Hey fuckers, send some of that ad money this way! There are tons of people who visit this site who not only want to view more ads for penis pills but they'd probably like the extra content I could provide with some sweet, sweet ad revenue.

Clarion Hotel KCI Shuts Down Over Asbestos

Yet another hazard for hard working local escorts simply trying to make a buck.

"Hate is a good thing"

An amazing post from local blogger Sirvinegar that would make Gordon Gekko proud.

Judge closes Web site over copyright issues

Copyright is far more sacred than human life. While I'm in favor of stem cell research and all kinds of other scary science stuff it's a shame that the same kind of law that takes Biggie's album off the shelves would be used to thwart free speech.

KC sewer system flush with problems

Sewers are full of shit very much like local politicos who promise infrastructure improvements but never deliver.

The Black Irish

There is still lots of talk in this town over the "Black Irish" (har) and the violence on St. Paddy's Day. Local white people were shocked to learn that a drunken ass-fest that mocks the religion that spawned the holiday would engender so many bad vibes.

It's funny that young Black teenagers are taking the blame for the rowdy parade and the uproar over white people visiting downtown being attacked. As long as these same Black kids stay in their own neighborhood and only kill each other nobody really makes a big issue of it or attempts to hold anyone accountable.

Additionally, did you know the term Black Irish actually refers to Black people (African decent) in Ireland. It has nothing to do with the Spanish or people with dark hair or witchcraft . . . In much the same way that the people in Ireland really don't celebrate St. Paddy's Day the way Americans do.

Finally, every year I always make a point to wait for an Irish person to mention something about "England out of Ireland!" It's a tradition for me because I'm always amazed that two groups of white people are picky enough to fight about a very small difference AND I love it when white people think they are oppressed. Actually, the Irish nationalist garbage is proof that white people have short memories because pre-9-11 many Irish people from this country were accused of funding terrorism by supporting Irish charities and even sending guns to the Irish to (irresponsibly) promote their cause. I know this because I'm a U2 fan and because keeping track of hypocritical white people is my hobby.

When The Star attacks you by name, you're probably doing something right

In an editorial The Star calls out Missouri state Sen. Victor Callahan because of a mailing to his constituents saying the newspaper "does not pay taxes to the Kansas City School District" on its new downtown printing plant. It turns out he was wrong. What he should have said was "nearly every member of The Star editorial board and almost every one of their columnists live in Johnson County." And then he would have been correct and also pointed out one of the many reasons why the writers of our local rag don't know jack about this town or its people.

Two train wrecks

As if the barren wasteland known as Metro North Mall isn't depressing enough, in order to gain publicity for the remaining three stores housed at the place, they are going to host two train wrecks this Friday.

Hat tip to local blog Happy in Bag for pointing me toward the notice.

Apparently, Tommy Morrison (the local HIV boxer and the star of the worst of the Rocky movies) and Tonya Harding (skater and knee basher) will be at Metro North on Friday for an autograph signing.

If you can't make it, then simply sign into Tonya's website and write in one of your fantasies in order to achieve a cheap thrill similar to the joy of watching two former D-list celebrities try to get their lives back together.

The Star's readership is equally lame

If you ever wanted proof that all discussions about race, violence and Downtown KC were ultimately unproductive please check out the comments section of this post and realize that The Star may not talk down to its reader as much as is alleged because most of them are, in fact, very dumb or at least in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease.

Stay or I'll sue!

There is something horribly wrong with the KC School District when it's using the same tactics as a desperate middle-aged women in order to avoid a split up. As the people of Western Independence battle to get away from the dysfunctional organization, lawyers for the KC Schools prepare to keep the large segment of white kids from abandoning the district under threat of a lawsuit.

A new set of parents and children would sue state officials to prevent separation of the majority-white western Independence and Sugar Creek neighborhoods from the majority-black Kansas City School District, which Benson says would deny equal protection under the 14th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.

Thing is, these tactics never work because (as any fat woman can attest) you just can't force someone to stay with you if they are unwilling.

It might be wiser if the KC School District went on a diet and shed some unwanted pounds off the top heavy administration (like bigoted fathead David Smith) or gussied itself up a little bit by doing something about threats of violence against teachers or a public image of that equates KC Schools to warzones.

Sadly, like most women the KC School District blames all of its problems on anyone but the themselves. More than a generation of mismanagement and billions of dollars spent on public schools have yielded only a marginally accredited district that produces almost as many gunman as graduates. Problems are labeled "systemic" while enrollment continues to shrink and reports of violence provide the only consistent news coming from the district.

Yes, in many ways the tactics of the KC School District are similar to those of a woman going through a divorce. And sadly, very much like a divorced woman their bullying strategy could also lead them to financial ruin along with a lonely, miserable and bitter existence.

Good Times

They say that everybody is Irish on St. Patrick's Day . . . If by Irish you mean stupid, drunk, rowdy, mean and looking for a fight. The Star details all of the damage in the aftermath of yesterday's parade.

Police broke up at least 10 fights, tackled a gunman and nearly shot a juvenile who had a toy gun. They arrested two men for aggravated assault, one for narcotics possession, and one man for carrying a concealed weapon. In addition, seven persons were arrested for city violations.

What I noticed is that Downtown is basically the toilet of the suburbs. Lots of white people I don't normally see hanging around were up to no good in the city yesterday. However, we can always count on Eastsiders to start more than their fair share of trouble as well. Reportedly, a "steady stream of fights followed about every five or 10 minutes at different locations along Grand, mostly on the east side."

Damn, truly there was a microcosm of dumbasses out on the streets yesterday. And when they mention a "melting pot" in terms of the diversity of KC it's probably never a good idea to include copious amounts of liquor into the mixture.

Powerless over addiction

A recent headline proves that the efforts of the KCPD to curb drunk driving were, in fact, counterproductive.

Fatal Accident As Driver Avoids Police Checkpoint

Okay, I'm not in favor of drunk driving but clearly this is an example of how all of the hysteria from organizations like M.A.D.D. and the KCPD checkpoint/crackdown/domestic spying initiative created a problem at least in this instance. Were it not for the checkpoint these people and their victims may have made it home safely last night. Similarly, during the years of constant propaganda and police initiatives the number of drunk driving deaths have actually increased.

Just as in the failed drug war, fighting a substance abuse problem cannot be accomplished through a police effort alone . . . There has to be some kind of work done to treat the addiction as well.

Unless, all of these checkpoints and propaganda is simply just another way to show the public that we're living in a police state run by bitchy suburban housewives who voted for George Bush . . . And in that case, I'd be happy to submit to white women (my addiction) like I always do.

Kline Fined $1,500 For Violating Law On Soliciting Campaign Funds

Kline's office said it was a mistake and a few Kansas Republicans are whining about the severity of the fine as they receive just a tiny glimpse of what it's like to be a knocked up underage girl.

Losing the Kansas City Way

The Kansas City Brigade (our fake football team) haven't won many games this season but they are reportedly selling lots of tickets and merchandise. The Business Journal reports that the team ranks third in Arena Football League attendance for its first four home games of the season.

This kind of hype accompanied by mediocre performance is not only the model for our sports teams but also for nearly every other local entity from our politicos to the downtown real estate market.

This town is home to a lot of hype but very little significant accomplishment when it comes to the high profile personalities generating more buzz than benefit to the people of KC.

KC Vies For Bioterrorism Research Center

The facility would develop countermeasures to diseases and biological agents that might be used by terrorists . . . Right up until an accident happened and the city was wiped out if you've ever read any of Stephen King's work.

"You white b's, you racist b's."

In the funniest case of out of town violence, a group of up to 30 young ladies beat the crap out of an out-of-town couples.

"Skanks in Johnson County"

The X-man reacts to the recent JoCo prostitution bust.

Catholic hate

Going to Catholic primary and secondary school, it's always hard for me to believe that someone hates the Catholic Church more than I do. But then again, I don't have many Baptist friends.

Rock Choke

This local blogger celebrates a stunning and hilarious defeat.

Mel Solomon & Co don't know what the HELL they are doing on the Internet

Local blog 'The Flossing of America' gets to the bottom of this mini-controversy and challenges my stereotypes about lesbians being able to achieve hard, deep, penetrating . . . Insight.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Here are two local rocket scientists presenting their research to the good people of KC. Mind you, it hasn't even been an hour and I'm sure there are more shots of these local skanks floating around the net which will thankfully assure that they'll never hold political office.

Careful out there folks, wear your seatbelt and a condom . . . Maybe even at the same time. Happy St. Patrick's Day . . . You Irish bastard.

Finally, here's a few thoughts about this day from me and lovely local Sheri who promised to only show her boobs to me . . . At least for today.

• Sexy clothes aren't that sexy when you're freezing your ass off. Wear a coat bitch!
  


• We got a look at the notorious KC homeless bum that won the right to panhandle in court. He's doing well and still making nearly as much money as you.


• Black people and St. Paddy's Day? I know, Black Irish . . . Narf! But really, the parade hosted a bunch of Mexican and Black people who either looked pissed off or drunk . . . Which I guess is par for the course.


• Sheri: "Baggy pants prevent me from checking out your ass, dudes." Straight guys need a new look.


• White people get pink when it's cold. I've mentioned this before but it always strikes me as odd.


• Sheri at Jilly's: "This is it?" While snorking down the greasiest fried taters known to man. Damn, I thought somebody was going to start drilling on those things.


• White people love Bud Light . . . Expect a shortage today.


• Highlight of the day: Sheri yelling at Chuck Eddy's car, "No 5-Lane Road on Red Bridge . . . Motherfucker!"
  

12 to 1

That's the ratio that JoCo outpaces the growth of JaxCo. Yet the JoCo folks haven't been suckered into funding Union Station, 18th & Vine, The KC Zoo, The Stadiums and The Sprint Center. This is just one of many reasons why the rich get richer other than the fact they're white.

Plaza library lends laptops

"Eight of the machines are available for public use, free of charge. They can't leave the building at 4801 Main St., however, and the time limit is one hour." Actually, with a high speed connection and a little privacy I only need a couple of minutes but knowing what I would do with the machines makes me not want to take part in sharing.

For all you good drunken Catholics

On this St. Paddy's Day downtown construction and traffic will make you want to renounce your faith in any kind of higher power but on the bright side, Catholics in the Archdiocese of Kansas City in Kansas and in the Diocese of Kansas City-St. Joseph have been granted dispensation to eat meat (if that's what you'd like to call Corned beef) today.

So enjoy your drinking festival and permission to eat sandwiches from the Church. I'm guessing that this special gift might be a ploy in order to get you to forget about the whole sex abuse scandal, looking the other way during the Holocaust, condoning genocide in the Americas and giving nuns permission to beat the shit out of little kids . . . Thing.

Yeah, eat a corned beef sandwich today and that should pretty much square you with the Church. Coincidentally, you may want to wear a condom today when your drunk ass invariably decides to screw a stranger. The Pope may not agree but he doesn't have to pay your doctor's bills or child support.

"Don't let tax scams steal your cash"

This headline from The Star nearly made my head explode until I realized it had nothing to do with the Stadium Tax but was yet another in a long series of articles warning their readers to stay the hell away from the Internet or it will rob them and have sex with their family . . . And that's not exactly untrue.

Sprint Center work will close downtown lanes

Downtown development needs "breathing room." Ironically, Hilter said the same thing.

County misses deadline for stadium agreements

Don't worry it doesn't really matter. Time stands still for billionaires and bureaucrats. KC's $850 million is certainly worth the wait.

Peeping Suspect Appears In Court

See you in the suburbs where pervs and Meth producers illustrate that white people are much more divided by class and social issues than you would have ever thought.

Uninspired as of late

There has been a ton of interesting stuff in the news lately but I just haven't been at the top of my game. I promise to step things up or at least post more photos of marginally news related ass.

Speaking of boring stories, Eric Givans was sentenced to 11 years in the stabbing death of local musician Richie Restivo.

I know that case is supposed to be some tragedy rife with racial tension and a frightening example of the horrible toll of youth violence. YET, not only do I find it hard to feel sorry for Italian people (simply on general principal) but also I don't think that the stabbing of some guy screaming racial epithets by another guy who reportedly has an IQ of 60 is that surprising or even newsworthy. The PR line for this story is that "one life was lost and another one was ruined" but all of the drama surrounding this case never went anywhere very much like most Spike Lee movies. Do the Right Thing, this was not . . . And I guess that's a good thing for those involved but it makes for horrible television and entertainment which is the primary purpose of the local TV news.

TKC is your top source for rape jokes

The news that a woman who claimed she was raped by an arena football player from the Philadelphia Soul has recently asked police to close the investigation still leaves a lot of questions for sports fans.

Here are just a few:

• Do they have some kind of strange rules for rapes in connection with arena football? Since they don't punt on 4th down does that mean all of the women they may have raped only get one swab to collect evidence or some other kind of gimmick to make the whole thing more exciting?


• Talk about aiming low. For all the trouble and national press the poor woman could have simply been smacked by one of the Chiefs and nobody would mention it after a few months.


• Thankfully, the whole thing was resolved and arena football players are now aware that their perks do not include groupies since the average salary cap of an Arena football team is only slightly more than a Wendy's franchise.
  

It's important to note that the woman says that it wasn't rape and the Arena football players were actually helping her out. This means that it's completely safe to trust professional athletes with your mom and sister and that you shouldn't feel bad next time your girlfriend calls you from the hotel room of a local athlete.

Additionally, the women claimed that she was raped early Tuesday after going to a hotel room with three players. The woman told police two players held her down on a bed while a third raped her. She now says that it was a group of local men who assaulted her and grabbed her arms while the other put his hands down her pants. According to The Star, "She said she struggled with them and fled the room. She said she believed the attack lasted a minute or so and that no one else was in the room at the time."

Obviously, if this broad can't keep her story straight then she deserves to be raped. Okay, no . . . Maybe just beaten, but certainly (as is the case with most women) she should not be taken seriously.

Treatment Helps Reshape Babies' Heads

I don't know why I found this report fascinating. I guess it might be because of the fact that it proves what lengths white people will go to in order not to admit that their baby is just plain ugly.

Kan. Senate Rejects Bill To Expand Gambling

Sadly, picking a fight with a drunk Indian (most of them) is the only way to press your luck with the Natives in Kansas for the moment.

War Veterans Return Home To Custody Battles

Women soldiers enter legal battles to regain custody of their kids. While returning male soldiers often have more extreme solutions to marital problems upon their return.

"An Open Letter to the Democratic Party"

"Thou Shall Not Suck" lays down the law while Democrats seem to lay down for anybody with a conservative talk show.

The (bad) movie that depicts how Tony's parents met

HBO is soon to premiere a film about the beginning of the Chicano Movement. There will be a lot of people talking in accents they don't normally use and a lot of embarrassing one-dimensional characters. Movies about political movements rarely include depictions of the kind of substance abuse, good music and broken condoms that led to my conception.

Comedy Central Caves to Scientology

OR Isaac Hayes has more power than you could possibly imagine.

The Women of Veronica's Voice need to be bitch slapped

My Dad has an important phrase that rings true and provides guidance and meaning for all of humanity. It goes like this:

"There is nothing worse than a reformed whore."

In Kansas City, whenever there is a story regarding hookers there is invariably an interview with a former prostitute who now volunteers at Veronica's Voice instead of making herself useful and accepting money for sex.

These women usually tell stories about the horrible a life of a prostitute and the many times their pimp, john or some other father substitute had to put a shoe (or broom handle) up their ass.

Mind you, I'm not trying to defend a local entrepreneur recently arrested and charged with pimpin' during a sting operation. The guy sounds like a bad dude even though almost everybody in town who heard of the story must have at least admired the guy for clearing up to 25k a week without having to pay his employees a dime. That kind of swindle is worthy of our local robber barons at H&R Bloch.

Anyway, what I find disgusting about former hookers now on a high horse (other than the fact that they still have hoop earrings and insanely stretched out vaginas) is that they act like hookers are victims. This is not true, at least it's very rarely true. The U.S. is not yet Bangladesh, there are plenty of ways to avoid selling your ass in this country but none of them are as fun as staying high on crack all the time and getting paid to keep your legs up in the air for 1 minute and 24 seconds at a time.

Hookers are not victims, very much like Paris Hilton they are also guilty of spreading disease and encouraging poor fashion choices.

At the very least pimps provide a valuable service and an influx of cash into the vital leopard fur and gold teeth industries. Whereas women who take money for sex (all of them) have yet to make a notable contribution to any human endeavor save house cleaning and constant complaining.

Who is that masked blogger?

Today, the eminently humorless Dave Helling writes about two local blogs creating quite a stir.

Save KC

Save Our Owners

The article claims that Steve "the shortest and angriest man in Kansas City" Glorioso has filed a complaint with the Missouri Ethics Commission, claiming saveourowners.com must disclose its funding sources and spending, like other political committees and candidates.

Good luck getting bloggers to disclose anything but daily musings on their cat and maybe a few top five lists.

Sad thing is, this anti-blog article planted by Stadium supporters (i.e.: The Star editorial board) is exactly the reason why blogging and bloggers are so important. I don't know who runs these sites and I don't care . . . What I do care about is that there is a place for people in this town to publish their thoughts without having to answer to Glorioso, Lamar Hunt or Missouri Government officials. I don't know why Stadium supporters would be so upset about blogs anyway considering that they have The Star in their pocket.

What's more . . . When Dave Helling went to The Star so many people in this town praised his journalistic ethics and integrity for leaving the much more relevant Channel 5 and its bigger audience. It seemed as if all of the media watchers in town wanted to give Helling an award for being boring. Now that he's clearly working as a "tool" for The Star's crooked and self-interested support of the Stadium Tax it seems as if his sterling reputation is a bit undeserved.

Bad hair does not necessarily make a person trustworthy.

Yael Abouhalkah is a Terrorist

In this post 9-11 age we must remain vigilant against every form of terrorism that endangers the good, white people of this nation. There are terrorist threats coming from a variety of different fronts. I believe that support of the Stadium Tax represents a form of financial terrorism on behalf of billionaire sports franchise owners and the many people who stand to gain by grabbing ankle for them.

Yael Abdul-Jabbar-sham-a-lama-ding-dong has proven to be a talented propagandist for the pro-Stadium Tax forces. And I can only hope that he is thwarted before he helps to drop a financial bomb on this city.

In his latest fanatical rant Yael Ha-choo/Gesundheit tries to teach us all a lesson by not only claiming that using your tax dollars to support Priest Holmes Larry Johnson slapping white women is a good thing but also that this town doesn't have any potholes.

Obviously, Yael Brouhaha is dizzy from kneeling toward the booty of Lamar Hunt and David Glass rather than toward Mecca. All of this one-sided commentary from The Star is getting on my nerves more than a nerve agent. I think it's time that Noel Kabbalah take a break from his propaganda on behalf of taxes . . . The guy needs a vacation. I'd like to suggest Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

High Class in KC

No more big pimpin' in KC for this local prostitution ring:

Alleged Pimp Arrested In Undercover Operation

You know I'll have more on this later. Stay tuned playa.

Beats to the rhyme

If you watch many Independent movies you'll know that most of them are about gay cowboys eating pudding. A long, long time ago I was a member of a local filmmakers group but I don't think I've ever seen a local movie with the kind of emotion, passion and stupid self-confidence as the following masterpiece.

It doesn't have a title but I'll simply call it:

The Anti-Stadium Tax Flash Movie

The filmmaker has a title of his own but I'll let you enjoy the punch line for yourself. Not because I'm a prude but simply because I don't wanna spoil any ass or pussy jokes.

Anyway, this whole Stadium issue has given me a little bit of faith in my fellow citizens and in humanity in general. Homeless bums always make me depressed and they only ask for a dollar at most . . . Good to know that asking a broke-ass County for almost a billion generates the kind of grass roots bad PR not seen since the French Revolution.

Additionally, here are a few funny things you should look out for during the movie:

• It's sponsored by The Swift Boat Veterans for Responsible Stadium Ownership.


• I'm not sure where I've heard the soundtrack before but it scares the shit out of me almost as much as the fact that . . . If they ever built the rolling roof, the first strong breeze would rip the thing off and make the Hyatt disaster seem like a picnic.


• Finally, nice morphing effects . . . It's not big budget but it was pretty scary nonetheless.

So hat's off to you KC. Unlike the local MSM, you've bitch slapped instead of bowed down to billionaires in need of new funds.

Still no satisfaction

Today, The Business Journal reports that Kansas City residents have poor satisfaction with city services compared with 21 area municipalities and 13 large regional cities, according to an audit released by City Auditor Mark Funkhouser.

And this is troubling for two reasons:

1.) JaxCo wants nearly a billion bucks (plus interest) not to improve your living conditions but to make sure that KC's billionaire sports team owners and millionaire athletes are well stocked with cigars and cognac.

b.) It's not like people in KC have very high standards if they are looking to Kay Barnes for satisfaction. Ewww. I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit after typing that . . . And that isn't half as gross as my pothole joke that involved Clay County Kay and Wayne Cauthen filling gaping holes together.

Good luck citizens of KC. I knew there were at least a couple of reasons (other than Black people) why so many have moved to the suburbs.

Blogger Backtalk: Moved by the Spirit

• If God hates lap dances and your genitalia then why did He invent them? This local blog is on a roll as the authors examine the bill that could end lapdances and other important links to proposed legislation that cold influence your voting.



• "Pat Robertson on the Missouri Taliban"



• Important Thoughts from Kansas this time on religion and politics.



• Signs (and photos) of Spring from this local blogger.



• Have faith, you can still steal video from the web with this important tech tip from Waldo United
  

Kansas City Council Actions

Hard to believe they had time to do all of this stuff in between courting real estate developers, holding Lamar Hunt's umbrella, thinking about their next paycheck and warming their chairs.

Springtime for Suckers

The warm weather and the coming of spring brings flowers, green grass, joggers, sunny days and a variety of stupid people who can't wait to leave the house in order to enjoy the nice weather and lose money to the casinos.

The true colors of Missouri politics

A discussion of red vs. blue state politics convinces me that white people have finally figured out a way to debate color in this country with out the need to talk to or involve all of those pesky Black and brown people.

Crime among Kids is down

Recent reports indicate that a predicted epidemic of juvenile violence fueled by growing numbers of predatory teenagers has failed to materialize. While this might be seen as good news, I'm guessing it's only because so many kids are either in jail already or they've killed each other off first.

Still, avoiding a kiddie crime wave is a good thing. Children should be scared of all of the disgusting and cruel criminal acts that adults can perpetrate on them and not the other way around.

Crime is a by-product of Pro Sports

Yesterday, Channel 9 News reported that a local woman claimed she was raped by an arena football player from the Philadelphia Soul.

Obviously, this is no big surprise considering that KC's pro athletes are helping to steal nearly a billion dollars from the people of KC.

Thing is, these kind of rapes, bar fights, skank beat downs, steroid use and an overall surly demeanor are commonplace when it comes to professional athletes. That's why it's best not to pin hopes for this town's future on the kind of people who are only qualified to play games for a living.

Major League City? More like pro athletes are a Major League pain in the ass.

The Rolling Roof Blows

Is the rolling roof even feasible given the severe weather that has inspired so much news coverage in this town? A recent report brings up important questions about the impact of high winds on the proposed structure.

These questions are extremely important given how badly both the Royals and Chiefs blow and how much money will be sucked out of the pockets of the people in this town if the thing passes.

Taking suggestions

In what has to be the clearest indication that there are a separate set of laws for white, middle class people from the suburbs and the rest of humanity Olathe residents who had recently been the victims of vandalism were offered the chance to share their suggestions for the suspects' punishment.

It was hard to believe that Channel 9 wasted nearly 5 minutes on this story last night. And ever harder to believe that there are people who actually take this kind of thing seriously. As usual, there was an outraged white woman crying about something during this report but they all tend to sound the same so I've learned how to tune them out.

Anyway, while any other poor or minority kid would have most likely earned a trip to the pen and the anal raping and pathways into substance abuse that goes with it for equal or lesser crimes these rich white kids seem like they'll simply get a good talking to and some community service. Hopefully, these kids will learn a lesson from this experience. Maybe they'll learn that if you're a privileged white kid it's advisable to damage people's property and homes in a foreign country in the name of Democracy or whatever if you intend to get away with it.

Los Lobos

Seems like animal control officials are rounding up wolves in KCK as if they were Mexicans. Which makes sense because they travel in packs, pee in public and are generally bad for the economy even if they're cool to look at.

Animal control officers descended on Richard and Celia Holt's 30 acre property and took away at least a dozen so-called Grey Wolves. This comes after neighbors complained about the wolves terrorizing livestock, running horses out of pens, and nearly killing at least two family pets. The Holts, who consider the wolves "family," were devastated and disagree that the wolves are dangerous.

Hopefully, this raid will put an end to the wolves poaching off the livelihood of residents. It's hard for people to understand that no matter how cute or cuddly Mexicans or wolves may seem, you just can't keep them as pets because if they don't kill you, then one day you'll wake up and find they took yer job.

Cowtown Corral: Weather or Not

• Believe it or not, they (the local TV News) is still reporting on the storms over the weekend.


• Sick dogs shuts down Wayside Waifs. The local Parvo virus outbreak might make your change your plans to eat Korean food as well.


• Maybe the fact that most Hollywood movies are excrement inspired a Kansas Theater owner to produce his own film inside the women's restroom.


• College students loot in Lawrence. However, if they learned anything at all they'll be able to explain that it's not really stealing . . . It's more of a pastiche.


• A local woman who failed to yield to a pumper truck in Sept. 2004 and then turned into the path of the truck is now charged with second-degree involuntary manslaughter in a firefighter's death.


• Kansas House advances Senate-passed concealed guns bill while it becomes more evident that we haven't yet evolved past shooting people with whom we disagree.


• MU officials warn college kids (dorks) to be careful. Facebook could provide your first lesson in getting dooced or encouraging stalkers other than the dork from high school that you broke up with but still keeps calling.


• Motorist Killed in Collision With School Bus

Internet Killers: Rockonlittleone

Many thanks to the most gully of all NY bloggers Dallas for sending this pic and profile of Esmie "Chop-Chop" Tseng my way. The article notes her addiction to the Internet but I'm pretty sure that matricide is the most extreme case since most bloggers seem so content to live in their mom's basement. In most instances avid bloggers simply tend to put on a few pounds, miss their favorite TV programs and maybe screw up a few real world relationships . . .

Eight years and counting fellas until this young lady is perfectly legal and part of the local dating scene. Sadly, when it comes to most of the broads out there she's really not that crazy.

Always cover your manhole

Suburban life must be so bland, boring and unbearable that kids in that part of town are doing anything in order to avoid it. Recently, Overland Park Public Works crews found a hideout that kids had been using in a storm drain near 133rd Street and Lamar Avenue.

This is certainly not a safe or sanitary habit but there a lot of activities for suburban youth in a storm drain. Here are just a few:

• Find Mommy's Meth Needle.


• Toxic Waste Bubble Bath


• Pretend you're Puerto Rican. Otherwise known as Graffiti for fun and no profit.


• Look for Dick Cheney's underground lair.


• Wait for a heavy rains and hope the current will take you far, far away from round the clock TV coverage storm coverage.
  

Dangerous liaisons

You know, I'm always surprised more women haven't taken this to heart but in this day and age you always have to be careful who you sleep with . . . Especially when it's an AK-47. A local woman discovered the truth of this notion after she was critically hurt when an assault rifle she kept under her bed accidentally went off.

Myself, I always take the age old advice of "never going out there with a loaded gun." Meaning, you're supposed to masturbate before any date in order to relieve the tension. Sadly, I've found this works after the date as well.

KC Conflict of Interest?

This local blogger isn't out to get Mel Solomon but she sure is good at digging up dirt on the 4th District candidate. It seems that yet another one of Solomon's publicity stunts has gone awry. The registration of his web page seems a tad suspect in that most non-profits are obliged to stay out of politics.

KCADC, or Kansas City Area Development Council is the registered owner of this site, and this is where my question comes in. Since they are a registered non-profit, doesn't that negate them from tinkering in political campaigns, like registering and administrating a site for a political candidate?

So not only are there several potholes in and around Brookside that Solomon has yet to tend to but there also seems to be a few holes in his campaign strategy as well. Actually, I'm hoping that it just slipped the guy's mind and it's not a sign of oncoming dementia. It's hard to tell with guys his age.

Town Topics: Later in the day links

• Downtown maze tour set for early May.


• Upcoming arts show for commies at The Creative Mind Arts Center.


• Now they're sending smoke signals for help on the East side: Fire Guts Building At 27th, Cypress


• Another tax on poor, dumb people in Kansas.


• The FCC puts another career to an end. This time it's a local guy just doing his job.
  

As the tide turns

I'm really annoyed by all of the houses on Ward Parkway hosting the "Save the Stadium" signs. I think they should be treated as signs inviting home burglaries.

Until I get my check in the mail I wouldn't think of supporting the rolling roof ripoff. Despite the best efforts of the media consultants on the payroll of the endeavor it seems like most people in KC understand this is a bad deal.

Many thanks to KCMO Hotline for sending a link to SaveKC.com, a local website "for the average, the very ones that will shoulder most of the burden of this tax increase."

Sadly, while the groundswell of locals voicing their opinion against the Stadium Tax seems to increase everyday . . . Supporters of the project have garnered a blessing from on high other than Country Club Kay:

"Jesus Christ Returns, Endorses Renovations and Rolling Roof"

Suggestions for the unkind cuts soon to come at The Star

Because The Star was recently purchased by a smaller company than its former owner, there are undoubtedly many cuts in store at the local bird cage liner outlet. Rather than fire the employees who actually sweat to put the paper on the street (drivers, office workers, printers, etc.), I think it would be wise for the new company to get rid of some of the writers who are most likely overpaid and part of the reason that fewer people read The Star.

Here are my suggestions:

Keep'em. I may not like these guys but they consistently provide a good read.

• Joe Posnanski: As much as I hate most local sports. This guy still makes it entertaining.


• Hearne Christopher Jr.: He gets good gossip and that alone is enough to build an audience. Additionally, his very rich family could provide a source for donations if things ever get tight.


• Jason Whitlock: Like it or not (I don't) the guy has built a nationwide audience with his ESPN gigs. At worst, he can double as the night security guard to earn his pay.

Dump/downsize/dismiss. Basically, The Star needs to get rid of all of the affirmative action hires and the dinosaurs still housed at the paper. Their employment/entitlement is a part of the historical record of liberalism and cronyism that has nearly destroyed print media. Here's my hit list:

• Mary Sanchez: The new owners of the Star should know that Mexicans women work much cheaper than her. She may wear nice business suits but you could probably hire a dozen "more recent" arrivals from Mexico to replace her and also clean the place for less than half the price of her new Manolo Blahniks.


• Steve Penn: You want a Black guy with friends? Invite P. Diddy over for a special appearance and you'll not only create more buzz but also have something worth writing about . . . Unlike most of Penn's work.


• Louis Diuguid: I've always hated "do-gooders" and I think replacing this guy might benefit him as well since he obviously has some kind of vision impairment. Seems like he can only see racism when it applies to Black people and nowhere else.


• Greg Reeves: He doesn't want to express an opinion on his blog and that's what they're for . . . Seems like the new owners could simply hook up an RSS feed to local crime stats from area police departments for all of the analysis and insight that Greg provides.


• CW Gusewelle: You're in luck here. Retire this guy and Alzheimer's has already ensured that his readers won't remember his absence after a few minutes.

I have many more suggestions for the new owners but that's all for today. I wish you good luck with all of your firings. And I now realize that the glass building may have been an effort to let all of KC watch the soap opera that is the death rattle of print media.

So you won't have to read The Star today

• With their registration policy, it's clear the Star doesn't know much about the Internet but still they manage to file this report on businesses successfully using blogs.


• Insurance companies begin to tally auto, property claims and subsequently lowball you.


• Missouri might raise stakes of high school exam and include an STD portion of the test as well.


• Watching pervs proves profitable as a registrar of sex offenders manages to keep his job.


• The Star reports that society’s worst fears about young criminals were wrong. While young crminals are still mainly Black, they aren't as violent as we were once lead to believe by films like Boyz in the Hood and the nightly television news.


• No to science, yes to guns. Darwin always wins in the end.

Town Topics: Word on the street

• A family affair: Woman Accused Of Running Down Man With Car


• Boy, 8, Honored For Helping To Save Mother and coming up with a way to dispute future guilt trips.


• KU students miss class for some other reason besides the fact that it's 4:20 somewhere


• Repairs at KU Could Cost State Millions and take away valuable resources from Queer Studies and terrorist foreign exchange students.


• House Fire Kills KC Man


• Another Soul crushing loss for this town's fake football team


• For your viewing pleasure, a slideshow of photos from the recent storm. Unfortunately, there's no shot of Katie Horner replenishing fluids during the course of her 15 hour marathon broadcast.


• A list of op-ed letters to EKC in opposition to the Stadium Tax


• Up with hope for Down-low brothers and others in tragic circumstances.


• Irish folk singer Jed Marum provies a historical overview of what the tunes that Irishmen have groaned while in a drunken stupor.


• Upcoming wine tasting events in Kansas City for those of you who have watched 'Sideways' one to many times.


• Nothing you haven't read on Craigslist before: "I love sex when I am stoned"


• Craigslist poster with a couple of good points is not exactly a hawk fan: "Congrats to KU----best team money can buy! this is in or around JaRon's Cardboard Box"

The only thing funny about Modern Art is the price

KC Currents features a recent story regarding an exhibition at the H&R Block Artspace called “Humor Me” explores the role that humor plays in contemporary culture. Hopefully, the humorous exhibit will make you forget about your upcoming audit.

Mexican Standoff at El Centro

In a recent article, The KC Hispanic News detailed the demise of Ian Bautista. The embattled and recently dismissed head of KCK social service agency El Centro . The article, entitled Changing times ahead for El Centro provided reported both sides of the controversy but failed to mention that Mexicans don't really like to see their own get ahead. While this is true of most people I've always thought it was especially true for Latinos.

If you look at the history of Latinos, the stories of self-hate and backstabbing are numerous. Pancho Villa was killed by his own people. Castro pretty much sent off Che to be killed. One of Selena's best friends, Yolanda Saldivar, gunned her down. Edward James Olmos' horrendous visage keeps getting in the way of his acting. And finally, I've heard rumors that the most effective and productive border patrol agents are in fact second generation Mexicans (Chicanos) who are desperately defending the affirmative action jobs occupied by their own relatives. The list never ends. It goes on and on . . .

The point of the article is that former Director of El Centro Richard Ruiz really didn't want to share power and wasn't very comfortable with his successor. Accordingly, I know of quite a few Latinos that don't want to step out of the limelight no matter how embarrassing their careers have become . . . Ricky Martin and Raquel Welsh are the first to come to mind.

Anyway, I wanted to relate this story of local Latino infighting not only because I'm down with the brown but also to clearly demonstrate that when we're not cutting the throat of American workers, by providing cheap labor, it's only because we're too busy cutting each other's throats.

Blogger Backtalk: Either or

• "It's funny as a muthafucker when it happens to someone you don’t know."


• "Fifteen minutes of pure idiotic bliss" OR A local blogger offers this podcast for your enjoyment.


• "And if you must break in to tell us something, for god's sake, do it during commercial" OR Attention local news! Nobody cares about a storm somewhere else.


• Ballet at UMKC: Just in case the institution wasn't already ghey enough.


• "What these people want is a society where the only choice is the one they chose for you."


• TfK reports that McCaskill leads in Missouri OR No one has yet to drop a house on the wicked witch of the East


• Lovely Local blogger Sheri shares tales of my near encyclopedic knowledge of the female anatomy.

Development East of Downtown threatens Della Lamb Charter School

In the event of a nuclear holocaust, the only thing that will be left are cockroaches and real estate developers building luxury condos for the rich ones. Local blogger Joe files this fascinating story that the bigger local media outlets forgot to pick up.

Old KC Haunted House collapses on its own

Spooky . . . I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that recent construction has turned KC's core into a ghost town after dark.

KC man charged with raping 11-year-old

Scary minority mugshot of the day brought to you by this (alleged) local Latino perv and KSHB.

Law Barring Convicts As Candidates Unconstitutional

OR You think Henry Rizzo doesn't know his constitutional law? Fughetaboutit!

KC man shot in the face after answering his door

N-word knocking has reached new levels of violence on the East side. (Yeah, I'm a big enough jerk to make the reference but not brave enough to type the word. Life is give and take but mostly cheap on KC's East side.)

I ain't gonna play Sun City OR No South African wine for me thank you

I'm not against bloggers making money. I don't mind looking at ads on blogs and I have no problems with people asking for donations on their blogs when they need them (even though I would never give). Also, I've tried a few schemes of my own that earned me a lot of traffic but no money.

Today, the KC Kitty is trying to put together a local blogger meetup sponsored by a South African wine maker. And that's cool, but what I want to warn against here is that these kinds of activities have a tendency to turn blogging and bloggers into a niche market rather than a source of free speech. Given enough money, anybody will sell out (including and especially me) but the problems I have with blogger meetups is that they tend to attract the hipster crowd that don't really care about personal publishing, the Internets, the fight against media consolidation or anything really besides being part of the latest buzzword. And THAT is the best way to turn blogging into a fad rather than an important part of the public discourse.

(Full disclosure: I've met quite a few local bloggers but it's never been part of any organized event and it's always been because I've been fascinated with the people behind the blogs and not because I was trying push any product. I've made quite a few good friends this way. Still, I prefer my underground lair any day over cheap wine and lots of bitching about comment spam.)

Additionally, the old blogger meetups never really captured the true diversity of the local blogosphere . . . There are teenage bloggers out there who are too busy killing their mother to go to a wine tasting . . . Along with all of the desperate single women looking for Mr. Right that might benefit from the occasion but will still end up alone and miserable.

So, because I care about each and every local blogger as if they were my children I would advise you to do what you want, enjoy free wine if that's your bag baby but please be sure to realize when somebody sees you as a dollar sign and doesn't really care what you have to say . . . Which is the way I see most women but that's for another post.

As a completely unrelated aside, I'm going to start running ads (of a sort) sometime later this week.

Giving you the business

B-school blogger Tim has a great page not only because he isn't afraid to honestly share his opinion about important financial matters but also because he not a cheerleader for all things business like most financial reporters.

Stock skank Mario Bartiromo is so hot, in most instances I don't even pay attention to what she's saying. I simply wonder what kind of return on investment I'll get if I cut off my ear and send it to her as a sign of my admiration.

Anyway, here are two recent posts from Tim that caught my interest and are probably much more honest than what your broker is telling you:

GM's Real Problem (A review of the recent Auto Show in KC)

Has Buffet Lost It?

Mel Solomon spotted looking for love during St. Patrick's Day Parade

Normally, you have to wait until an elected official is actually elected in order to watch them do stupid things while they are drunk with power. Not so in Kansas City politics where debauchery and self-abasement is common enough to make you think that everyday is St. Paddy's Day. This local blogger files an excellent post in which she reports on 4th District City Council hopeful Mel Solomon and his desperate search for supporters:

The biggest lie had to be the Mel Solomon procession. He had about 30 people or so walking behind his banner waving to the crowd, him out in front of it all looking like a big goofy cartoon character. Soon after his group passed, I noticed some people hanging out around me that had 'Mel Solomon' t-shirts on. I asked one of them if they knew Mel. "No, someone came up to me in the crowd before-hand and offered to give me a free t-shirt if I walked in the parade with them". A friend of mine later tried to turn down 'Mel Solomon' literature that some woman was thrusting upon him. She asked him to please take it as "...I get paid for every one I hand out."

Sadly, like many young women on St. Paddy's Day Solomon was looking for somebody to tell him they liked him and lie about commitment. With all the excitement of the parade you might feel sorry for KC voters when they wake up next to a candidate as desperate and needy as Solomon.

If Solomon really wanted to earn some votes he could have come up with some kind of cross-promotional campaign in which all the snakes driven out on St. Patrick's Day could have helped to eat all of the filthy sewer rats running around Brookside.

Bloodshot Irish Eyes

On Friday, there will be a bunch of people in KC walking around drunk, acting stupid, puking and having sex with anonymous strangers. In other words, Friday is St. Patrick's Day and many of us will be paying tribute to and acting like the Irish.

Well, as you're having a good time . . . The good folks at KC Talk want to remind you that the KCPD is watching you they are preparing to take a lot of drunk drivers to jail in order to give partygoers a taste of the true Irish experience.

As for me, I'm going to take it easy this holiday. I'll probably watch a few of the Leprechaun movies and maybe go out later to see if I can spot a few women throwing up in the street . . . As a kid I used to live close to Westport and that's always been my traditional St. Paddy's Day celebration. God Bless the Irish for proving that white people aren't superior.

The Star Sells Out Again

Pending approval, The Star has been sold. Here's the most important passage in the story:

Over the last decade, newspapers have witnessed an erosion in circulation and advertising revenue as readers look elsewhere for news and entertainment and advertisers embraced the Internet and other news platforms.

While the article is full of great news about profit margins and profitability . . . It's clear that producing this town's daily fish wrap isn't a good business. Seems like Knight Ridder did the right thing. In the end it wasn't a surprise. Dumping an old, bloated and cranky financial drain is the reason behind most divorces and a great excuse to get out of the history print journalism business. However, there's no reason to worry. The Star is soon to be picked up by a smaller news organization and will continue to sell out Kansas City when it comes to The Stadium Tax.

Channel 9 Editorial creates static for the Stadium Tax

Channel 9 could be the only local MSM outlet not on the Stadium Tax payroll. They have not only shown their journalistic chops by providing honest analysis of the issue but also for having the guts to be the one of the first major news organizations (second only to the sports radio guys) to provide an editorial critical of the rolling roof rip-off. Sure, the editorial is even handed and not exactly a scathing critique but it's a welcome change than the sweetheart coverage The Star has been giving the costly, unfair and unwise initiative.

10,000 Tulips for Troost

Blood makes the grass grow, not sure what it does for flowers.

"The Strokes at the Uptown"

A great review from local blogger Brad.

Local hail collecting

Okay, I promise this is the last storm related post I'll put up today but this one contains some interesting pics of hail and hail damage.

Playing up a storm

As far as I can tell, this is one of the few local blogger posts/news items written over the weekend that has nothing to do with the rain, hail, storms, broken power lines or Katie Horner's rugged good looks. The post reviews an exciting jazz performance . . . Which is nearly rare as rain has become in this town.

"You know you're in Kansas City when tornado sirens are no cause for alarm."

No joke. I was sitting around last night thinking, "It's not Wednesday already yet. Is it?"

"Eroticism and PC innards"

Or, naughty bits and computer chips. Leave it to local blogger Mac to find this nice collection of off beat and out of this world pics.

Storm Watch 2006

This local blogger reports on the yesterday's storm in Lawrence without the nice hair and demonstrative tones used by news skanks. Nice pics as well.

"Impeach the motherfucker already!"

More thoughtful commentary from the Internets. It's not exactly the Gettysburg Address but I think it gets the point across.

"Why don't blacks do meth?"

This is good news! Local blogger Joe makes a triumphant return. In his latest post, he lets his mind wander as he pulls out his KKK card. Don't worry, it's not what you think . . . Joe likes Black people more than most Black people.

So long for Saturday

It is way too nice to be inside typing blog posts today. So long suckas! I'm heading outside and I'll probably visit the Auto show in order to do some serious coveting. Thanks for reading. Have a fun and safe weekend. Peace.

Hope to avoid being fez'd out

The local Shriners are looking for new recruits.

While I have no interest in helping out children or those in need, I've always admired their hats. It's called a Fez and it has a long and storied history that is surprisingly more detailed than the accounts given in the Indiana Jones movies.

Mad Science

Opponents of stem cell research in the Show-Me State aren't exactly living in the dark ages. It seems they have enough technical know-how to clone a site that supports scientific research.

Sadly, while the legal system may or may not have much respect for the laws of nature . . . There is no getting around copyright law. Accordingly, a judge ordered the sham site taken down. Stem cell research opponents are now left with only the power of voodoo dolls in order to oppose the unholy practice of working to cure diseases that God has cast upon evil people.

Profile of local artist and advocate Paul Dorrell

You may remember this local gallery owner from the recent dust up regarding the lack of consideration for local artists for The Sprint Center public art display. Today Dorrell is also advocating for local artists in The Star.

With the following ridiculous statement Dorrell makes an embarrassing comparison: "The city has a policy on minority hiring - it's time we had a policy on working more significantly with regional artists," said Paul Dorrell, founder of the Leopold Gallery.

Yeah, the slighting of local artists ranks right up there with slavery, land theft, genocide, internment camps and segregation. So let's not forget how oppressed the local artists are because their mommy and daddy never paid enough attention to them. Mind you, I know that most minorities around today never had to endure most of that adversity either but the biggest hardship faced by local artists is finding a new drug dealer after their old one gets busted. They aren't exactly faced with a legacy of oppression.

Not that I ever really cared about local artists much anyway but this statement has completely convinced me to ignore their work. In fact, if I see a local artist today I'm going punch them in the face. We'll call it reparations.

Could you recognize your own ass?

Authorities need help to build a case against a local perv. Spotting your own ass in a line-up would not only help but also give you insight into target spots for your next workout.

KC Karm-a-meter

Gauge you're karma with the help of this local blog. -10 points if you have one of those "Save our Stadium" signs in your lawn.

"Bus buddies"

A mean Metro driver doesn't stop this local blogger from lending a hand.

Actually Posted on KC Craigslist

Another amazingly horny offer. You may not get an STD but it will probably come back to hit you in the ass.

KC's News Babes are Nasty

Many thanks to another local tipster who sent me a link to a video clip.

Here's the scoop from the local news hound:

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Remember Danyelle Sargaent of Metro Sports (ahem) fame?

She was the only reason to watch that pathetic Time Warner sports show from '02 - '04. She left for ESPN and can often be seen on ESPN news during the late night/early morning hours.

ESPN was having some dreaded technical difficulties last night -- big brother decides to switch their feed over to ESPN news and all hell breaks loose (are these idiots helpless without their teleprompters?) ......Wait till the end of the video when (for no reason) she lets out a big "What the fuck..."

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Here's the link. Again, thanks to this tipster for keeping track of this dirty young woman with a KC connection.

Marcus Leach Bounces Back

Special thanks to a tipster who sent me this intercepted e-mail. Seems that Marcus Leach will most likely keep his post as President and all of the controversy might have not changed a thing . . . Very much like a diploma from UMKC.

Still, it's good to know that Marcus might not be forced out:


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March 7, 2006

Dear Marcus,

I have reviewed your February 22 request to be reinstated as the President of the Student Government Association. After careful consideration of the number of the number of signatures on the petitions to have you reinstated and the events that have transpired over the last two weeks, in accordance with the SGA's Superior Court Procedures, section 6.1, I have decided to set aside the decision of the Superior Court to deny your injunction request to remain in office. Therefore, effective immediately, I reinstate you as President of the SGA until the referendum takes place.

I would expect that you will continue to attend key meetings to represent the University and as such, you will continue to be paid until the referendum takes place and the issue is resolved.

I look forward to the important work you will continue to do on behalf of our students.

Sincerely,

Pat Long, Ed.D.

Acting Executive Vice Chancellor

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