"Sexy redhead new in KC seeks Black males"

In today's sexy, sultry and NSFW KC Craigslist personal we find a young woman from St. Louis eager to make friends in KC. This personal ad should do wonders for race relations because after reading it many guys might wish they were Black so they could "welcome" this broad to the area.

Online dating is only for sex

Panda Watch! Just like most guys in this town a local panda used the Internet in order to obtain sex from a partner who is probably unsuspecting, very vulnerable and rebounding from yet another failed relationship.

However, the whole thing seems to be backfiring on KC panda Fagan (No Homo) since the female already moved into his pad and is most likely cramping his style. Oh well, at least she doesn't already have kids and the only baggage he’ll have to deal with is emotional.

However, if the relationship* follows the same trajectory as most online hookups the whole thing should be over in about 2 months and we can look forward to each of them revealing embarrassing secrets about one another on their blogs.

*I know the pandas at the KC Zoo are red pandas but the preceding photo made me laugh and I think red pandas are ugly which gives them something else in common with most people forced to find "dates" online.

"The East Coast attitude has eroded; it's a gentler eatery today."

Local blog Happy in Bag serves up a nice pic and a kind review of D'Brox.

David Smith scandal almost cleaned up

In the most clear cut case of bigotry this town has ever seen School Board President David Smith was FOUND GUILTY of unfairly firing one of his employees at The Kansas City Boys and Girls Clubs after she complained that his hiring practices were discriminatory.

As a response to the GUILTY VERDICT not only did prominent members of the Black community throw their support behind Smith but The Star also backed up the School Board official with a glowing editorial and the work of reporters who attempted to retry the case in the pages of this town's only daily paper.

Thankfully, KC Currents offers an alternative record of the Smith debacle so that future generations will know that this case is yet another example of how the Civil Rights Movement only served to advance Black people (which is fine but let's at least be honest) and notions of equality and diversity are simply fantasies uttered for popularity and political gain.

"What Whites and Blacks Should Know About Each Other"

Both groups hate Mexicans.

If only her brains were that big

This UMKC prof offers yet another way to waste your money through higher education.

Dr. Elizabeth Berkshire began teaching masculinity classes at UMKC in 2004 . . . According to Berkshire, femininity cannot be fully understood without exploring masculinity. The two are not independent of one another. Moreover, the study of multiple masculinities is fundamental to a well-rounded examination of gender.

Ugh, man. She'd be better off teaching advanced sandwich making. Ironically, if this course is like any of the gender studies classes I've heard about it will cater primarily to lesbians and offer them something to emulate.

"Toby Young 7 Months???"

Paul Morrison says she could face 7 months to two years. Ironically, she's set back feminism more than a couple of decades.

Toby Young's Tennessee Jailhouse Interview

Count on KCTV 5 to come through with the goods on this remarkably stupid and sexy story.

"A one-word error in a Kansas law meant his initial 18-year prison term couldn't stand"

However the guy did get close to 9 years for drunk driving that ultimately led to the death of a Mission Hills couple in a case that probably still won't keep you from thinking that your drunk ass is okay to drive after partying this evening.

Opposition group kicks off campaign against stem cell measure

I'd just like to know where they found a group of people in perfect health who don't even know anybody who is sick.

"A woman is beaten every 15 seconds in this nation."

My mom's favorite joke: "Hey, if that dumb bitch won't leave him then she's getting what she deserves. Every 15 seconds! You'd think she would learn that he'll never change after a couple minutes of beatings."

Record February dryness after record January warmth

Complaining also went up this month as well . . . Local weather is a bitch. No matter how hard you concentrate it seems like it takes a miracle to get things wet around here. Maybe if you were more of a man and took care of your responsibilities things would be so bleak!

Buck Passed (Not dead, just overlooked. Just like your Grandma.)

Today, you might hear many KC sports personalities decry the fact that KC legend Buck O'Neil was denied acceptance to the National Baseball Hall of Fame. Throughout their blather you have to remember that professional sports is an industry that is inherently racist and exploitive and truly unimportant. Additionally, all sports reporters are either failed athletes or closeted homosexuals and often both. And as The Star whines that the snub was an "injustice" you may realize that the faux outrage is more about appeasing white guilt rather than offering any tribute to O'Neil . . . Especially since he seemed to take the rejection in stride.

As much as I like him as a person, I won't cry crocodile tears for Buck O'Neil. At 94, I'm sure the guy has endured greater disappointments. While sports enthusiasts point out that O'Neil's numbers weren't that great during his career other Black nationalists types will note that he was playing in a league where the athletes were much better than the crop of pasty white guys who played for Caucasian audiences. It both cases, they are wrong, stupid and hackneyed.

And while I'd like to view O'Neil as a kindly old gentleman right out of a Stephen King novel or the guy that Skynard was singing about in "The Ballad of Curtis Loew" the truth is that Buck O'Neil is largely responsible for the costly failure known as Negro leagues Baseball Museum and the other abandoned attractions on 18th and Vine that have this city drowning in red ink.

With a smile and a wink and that sense of guilt that white people feel toward every elderly Black person O'Neil suckered the people of KC into paying for an attraction that has played host to just as many dead hookers as paying customers.

So, I don't feel that bad that the guy didn't get his award because the millions that Kansas City has thrown away in his honor should suffice. Additionally, I think it's nice that the people of KC have taken him into their heart and made him a kind of mascot in order to quell mentions of this town's bigoted past and present. I guess we ought to honor at least one local old person since so few of us spend any time with our own elderly relatives.

Kansas City Brigade Final Season Ticket Count

A report reveals that 8,912 fans purchased season tickets for the inaugural season and I'm sure at least a few of them actually understood what in the hell was going on during the fake football games.

Former school employee gets 70 months on child porn charge

An examination of Andrus's computer revealed thousands of photos and movies containing images of boys 6 to 14 engaged in sexual activity including bondage, prosecutors said.

As long as he didn't touch anybody you've got to admit that 5 years is a little tough for simply looking at photos. I know viewing child porn contributes to the suffering associated with it but shopping at Wal-Mart also involves you in the world's sorrows. But you don't win elections by standing up for pervs. Better to beat up on an easy target. Now if we could only get a few Mexicans and ex-cons to get a hold of laptops.

Riverside Judge Resigns After Weekend Arrest

Drunk, holding on to coke at a Mickey D's . . . you'd think a judge would at least party like an adult and not a 19 year-old suburban kid.

Carnahan To Be Treated For Breast Cancer

And I'll stop myself from making a tasteless political joke here because of my overwhelming support and admiration for women's breasts. In fact, here's a NSFW link to Big Naturals just to prove my point and demonstrate my devotion.

Deputy Admits Having Sex With Female Inmate

Finally, there is hope of screwing a woman and then being able to tell her what to do, where to go and keeping an accurate track of her whereabouts. Where's my resume?

Riding the bus does not make you unique

Yes, yes I get it. If you're young, white and don't live in the suburbs then riding the bus is a wonderful affectation that makes you unique. I don't have any hostility toward local blogger Heidi who has posted this KC adaptation of a public transportation meme but it seems like every white person with glasses and a blog is now an expert on transportation issues yet nobody has proposed hooking up rickshaws to these people so they are actually useful.

You wanna know what they call someone who isn't white and rides the bus?

Poor.

I'm sorry but you're not saving the world by using mass transit, not with all of the other millions of cars on the planet. Thank you for trying and if there is ever a way that we can solve the energy and climate change crisis by powering vehicles on your sense of self-satisfaction then we'll be sure to get in touch.

One last thing, Napoleon Dynamite was funny but not that funny and Dave Chappelle is a comedian who likes his crack and not the voice of a generation.

Feast before Famine

Just in case you don't get enough partying done today, the KC Kitty reminds us that St. Patrick's Day is soon approaching. Because we all know you're a great Catholic and these holidays have a lot of deep meaning and traditional value for you. Hah, if you were really a good Catholic you'd be busy covering up a sex abuse scandal.

However, Toast has a much more optimistic view of the festivities and she provides some good info on tonight's events as well:

The Crossroads Mardi Gras krewe has apparently hooked up with the 18th and Vine people. The parade route and celebration are supposed to stretch about two miles down 18th Street this year. All the way from YJ's to The Foundation and the Blue Room. The more merriment the merrier, I suppose. It'll be interesting to see the crosscrowd once the parade ends. Hippies and jazz musicians. I predict much dope smoke and unbathedness, as well as the usual drunken joy.

In related news I still haven't decided what I'm going to give up during Lent. I'm hoping to consult my priest and see if I can figure out a way to go carousing, get drunk, screw random white women and then spend the next 40 days giving up STDs, hangovers, a beer gut and other consequences.

And speaking of religion, I remember Lisa Simpson saying that prayer is the last refuge of a scoundrel. Come to find out that she was misquoting Samuel Johnson who actually noted that patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel. So I guess it's okay to be a hypocrite as long as you're not a Republican . . . Which I'm pretty sure might be the new campaign slogan of all Democrats running for office in the immediate future.

And now all of this talk of politics and religion makes me want to open up a bottle of Samuel Adams and then maybe a can of whoop ass.

New Blog: Sadrinka Of Kansas City

I'm no fan of the Royals, especially since they want nearly a billion dollars in exchange for losing 100 games, but I am a MAJOR fan of sexy Rubenesque women who like sports. Now, if the chick knows how to make chicken pot pies then she gets a listing on my favorite sites. Link via Just Cara

God Damn Bill Tammeus straight to Hell!

Not really but I thought his recent post about the Mayor's prayer breakfast was ineffectual and uninspired . . . very much like all religion in general. I'd have more respect for him if he simply called Country Club Kay a cunt for not going to the prayer breakfast. In fact, that would be righteous. Thus spake the Tony.

Blogger bits revealed

Many thanks to local blog Happy In Bag for cluing me into the fact that this blog was mentioned in The Star yesterday. Imagine that. Nice to know that I've thrown SO much poop their way but they don't take it too seriously. I guess they shouldn't since they are housed in a multi-million dollar glass production facility and I do these posts in my underwear (while crying). Anyway, the following blogger links are brought to you by Bill:

Page B7 of the February 26 Star. In the bottom right hand corner of the "Sunday Opinion" page, there's a feature called "Blog Bits." I don't know if it's a new feature or not.

Three bloggers are quoted. Powerlineblog.com opining about holocaust denial, cathyyoung.blogspot.com writing about Harvard politics, and "Tony, tonyskansascity.com." The quote is: "Protesting funerals may be the stupidest thing ever concocted, but legislating against funeral protesters is almost as silly."

So, thanks. That's cool . . . I wish I could be nicer when Steve Penn's next column is published but I probably won't . . . I'm sorry, I can't do that.

Rolling Roof Ripoff: Crazy Star Editorial Board Can't do Math

Today, an unsigned editorial in The Star not only proves that the corporate columnists don't care about this town but also that they don't read much besides their own rag.

The Star wants the people of Jackson County to build the world's largest rolling roof and finance Stadium improvements simply because the NFL is offering a Superbowl in return for the billion dollar payoff.

Placed over Arrowhead Stadium, the roof could create a climate-controlled facility that would enable Kansas City to host the Super Bowl in 2015 or 2017. Holding one of the biggest events in the sporting world here would give the entire area a huge boost in national and international attention.

However, what The Star doesn't mention is that one study after the next has clearly demonstrated that the economic impact of a Superbowl is greatly exaggerated.

Phil Porter, a professor at USF's Tampa campus, studied the economic impact of six Super Bowls, including the games in Miami in 1976, 1979 and 1995. He concluded that the estimates of economic impact contain as much hype as a Super Bowl pregame show.

"Three Super Bowl impact studies [1991 Tampa, 1995 Miami, 1996 Phoenix] as well as conventional wisdom predict huge windfalls for the communities that host Super Bowls," Porter wrote. "But in these and every other instance studied [Miami 1976 and 1979 and Tampa 1984], no windfall materializes."

More recently, after this year's Superbowl . . . Have you made any plans to visit Detroit?

The Star's continuous effort to back the Stadium Tax and rolling roof ripoff is the worst kind of biased coverage this town has had to endure since Emanuel Cleaver was mayor. The Star hasn't been critical of the pipe dream plan or honest with its readers.

Sadly, the paper of record in this town has been nothing more than a cheerleader in this effort to extort money from Jackson County on behalf of suburban jerks, millionaire athletes and billionaire owners who have shown little or no interest in the economic stability of KC proper.

First Meth and now Mexicans in Independence

It's Monday so it's time for a little bit of self-hatred. There's nothing that sparks my self-loathing more than a condescending article from The Star. Today's misguided Mexican missive has to do with the growing number of future dishwashers Latinos in KC Schools. Apparently, the white people of Independence are too illiterate and high on Meth to notice the recent influx of Mexicans. It's amazing what you miss when you've been up for 9 days in a row.

Anyway, here's how the Star puts a happy face on the situation:

The district's percentage of Hispanic students stood near 6 percent last year, in line with the rest of the metropolitan area, according to census figures. But the district's increase of nearly two-thirds between 2001 and 2005 far outpaced growth in the broader community.

So in January, the district freed up Peck and Nanette Smith - both bilingual teachers - to help Spanish-speaking families.

The women's tasks range from interpreting instructions from a school nurse during a health screening to talking with parents about grades and discipline.

And that's all well and good but there is bound to be some animosity toward these new arrivals. There are only so many fat white women to go around . . . the competition between former white cons looking for a sugar mama and illegals in need of wife who is a citizen must be intense.

And because I know white people (I have lived among them) I know that these kind of articles only serve to create discord. The Mexican invasion of the United States needs to be stealthy if it is to be successful (read: profitable). Nobody cares who cooks the food, fights the wars, mows the lawns, cleans the toilets as long as it gets done . . . Publicizing so many Mexicans utilizing public services may make the liberals happy but it won't sit well with the rank and file conservatives who have grown accustomed to yelling "They took yer job" at random intervals throughout the day.

However, the most important task facing this company country is the ongoing effort to keep prices low. While slave Chinese labor abroad provides reasonable prices on consumer goods (Thank you Wal-Mart) the Mexicans are integral in maintaining a cost effective service industry. So, while it may be unpleasant I'd simply advise you to smile, enjoy your cheap electronics and fast food and simply nod your head when the guy who is dating your daughter comes to you one day and asks "Can I call ju Dad?"

Look how much effort it takes to bore me

It has come to my attention that filmmaker Ken Burns will speak at William Jewell College's Achievement Day (no pun intended) dinner at 7 p.m. Thursday at the Hyatt Regency Crown Center hotel . . . So bring a pillow.

Incredibly, tickets to the event are selling for $100 which isn't bad if you figure that the event will miraculously cure insomnia and almost any other sleeping disorder.

You've got some 'splaining to do!

This week will feature tons of Toby Young coverage but I doubt that much of it will answer the prurient questions we all have in mind. Sure, we all have lots of theories but I doubt anybody will ever know what went through Young's mind when she made her fateful decision to run away with John Manard. As they are set to appear in court today, the media circus kicks into high gear and the only thing we know for sure is that two weeks of prison break sex sure takes a toll on a woman.

Cowtown Corral: Odd man out

- If you were wondering about which publication is the whitest in town, this lacrosse link proves that the KC Business Journal holds the title.

- Just like most of his employees, Applebee's CEO won't get a tip after a lackluster performance and nasty ass hotwings.

- Protect Yourself While Traveling Overseas: Practice telling strangers you're Canadian.

- Former KC physician soon to play doctor in the pen as he pleads guilty to Medicare fraud.

- A review of the revisionist movie The Confederate States of America.

Faster Cash. Kill, kill . . .

The UMB Bank at 79th and Wornall is now the ATM of choice for Eastsiders. Actually, there's nothing funny about the death of a security guard who was more than 70 years old during the robbery. As we head into warmer weather Wornall is poised to maintain its reputation as the ugliest street in Kansas City for both aesthetic and demographic reasons.

Marriage sucks stinks

KC Infozine is no fan of married men as they encourage their readers to their readers to suck on a pickle in order to satisfy cravings instead of working on improving their marriage by applying those same principles to more productive endeavors.

The local real estate market is still flying high

In horribly cruel news destined to screw up my karma, a man dies after falling 9 stories out of a Plaza apartment and while a few of you will feel bad, 90% of us are probably wondering if he had a good view and when the place goes on the market.

Cracking wise

A KC Reverend might have great faith but he doesn't have a prayer when it comes to shutting down local drug houses.

What would Jesus Doo-do

Area Christians are acquitted after years of talking shit. The controversy that embroiled Heartland Christian Academy staffers stank to high Heaven but now it's over.

Making the most of a bad situation

A few local men are accused of making robbery victims strip at gunpoint. Unfortunately, they aren't returning the money even if the victims do a really good job of shaking their junk.

Hold up wait a minute

I know being charged 8 dollars for cheese sticks that cost 3 bucks for two dozen at the grocery store is just one of the many things that makes me want to shoot somebody when I eat at chain restaurants so I'm wondering if it was all the goofy shit on the wall or the happy go lucky servers caused a person to pull a gun during an argument at an Overland Park restaurant.

About 100 people were inside Houlihan's at West 95th Street and Quivira Road when an argument started at about 1 a.m.Someone apparently pulled a gun and everyone poured out of the restaurant, trying to get away.

Or maybe the person simply heard one birthday cheer to many.

No Se Puede

The war on Spanish Speaking students continues as EKC reports that Dylan Theno was harassed in Tonganoxie High School, other students in the Turner School District claim being punished for speaking Spanish. School districts are on the defensive. Sadly, none of this ire is directed toward obnoxious Spanish teachers and their damn pop quizzes.

Blogger Backtalk: Good looking out

- Local blogger Heidi spots a smaller banner on the American Century building which could mean that the company realized their horrible ad campaign was performing nearly as bad as its funds.

- Curb Girl offers a pic that "makes this city look like a teeny tiny industrial town or at least a place where nothing new has been built since 1910."

- Don Knotts, Daren McGavin pass on over the weekend. Local blogger Sirvinegar posts a tribute. Abe Vigoda will bury us all.

- A left wing-raging liberal-pinko viewpoint other than the KC Star. Enjoy local blog STP Speaks.

- A port, a storm and a culture of fear. Local blogger JDub shares his thoughts on the recent national security debate: "I just can't conceive how anyone feels more safe with these idiots at the helm."

Fox 4's Shauna Thomas and soft porn

Finally, there is a reason to watch Fox 4's morning news. A rumor first showed up on a local Internet message board that there is a softcore porn movie featuring Fox 4's new hire Shauna Thomas over at Atomfilms. OF COURSE, I had to investigate! And upon viewing the short movie, I have to admit that it's all pretty tasteful and really shows off the acting skill possessed by Thomas . . . especially when she is riding some dude and asking "Who's your daddy!"

Actually, if your read a bio for Thomas that appears on IMDB she is very accomplished. Obviously, the lady is experienced because that didn't look like the first time she had tongue kissed a woman.

At first I wasn't sure about the validity of the rumor but I did a little surfing and I found that photos of the sluty short film also haunted her in her former gig in Utah.

So, I don't know if Fox 4 is going after the S&M demographic but I'm happy to see yet another local TV skank on the scene in KC along with one more reason not pay any attention to the tramps that read the news.

The dumbest white woman on the planet found safe in Tennessee

Yes! There is no need to feel guilty that this dumb bitch might have gotten herself killed by her sheer stupidity!

Toby Young and John Manard were captured around 8:40 p.m. by local, state and federal law enforcement authorities on Interstate 75 between Chattanooga and Knoxville after a brief vehicle chase. Young is being charged with helping Manard escape.

So let the public spectacle begin . . . I want to know everything. Was it love at first sight when they first met at the Safe Harbor Prison Dog program at Lansing Correctional Facility? Or did he smooth talk her? Was she impressed by all of his tattoos? How much sex did they have when they were on the run and is it true that there is nothing hotter than prison break sex? I'd also like to hear from her husband and kids, just how unsatisfying can a relationship get before you break some convict out of jail in order to seek fulfillment?

And I'm not even sure that I want Toby Young to go to jail. As the "Stupidest White Woman on the Planet" I think that we owe it to mankind to study her in order to find out the answer to mysteries like Dr. Phil's popularity, Enya and what really happens when women go to the restroom with one another. Toby Young needs to be studied . . . and then beaten.

A white woman fights back

This headline from The Star is actually a bit misleading:

Defiant mother, passer-by foil carjacking near gallery

If you go on to read the story, you'll discover that four dudes beat the shit out of this woman and her son before they got a little bit of cash and decided to go grab lunch at California Pizza Kitchen on The Plaza. Of course, the alleged assailants were quickly picked up because nobody with names like Marshon, Ronnelle and Alvino (read: Black guys) will get away with beating a white woman in broad daylight.

However, while I'm not a fan of 50 something white women, I also don't support muggers. So, you'll have to write this one up to an cross-cultural conflict and a reminder that not only is it better to stay in your own neighborhood but also rob your own people.

To Do in KC: Other than your buddy's mom.

- Weekend show picks from The Event Driver inclue:

BB King at Ameristar...
KC Symphony at The Lyric...
Chamber Music at The Folly...
12th Anniversary of The Brew Jam at 75th Street...
Cover Wars at The Grand Emporium...
Valentine at Palza III...
Links to all the KCHopps venues, Ivy's, Jardine's, Ida, Angela, Baby Lee, Mike Metheny, Stan Kessler, Kerry Strayer, Joe Cartwright, and much more . . .

- Also, understudys perform a show I didn't like in the first place along with The Star's entertainment listings.

- Last but not least, KC Kitty offers some links regarding this weekend's CD release party for local band "The Action Figures."

Listening to Rap Music Will Get You Killed

Apparently, nobody told the owners of Kabal that playing rap music might draw a crowd but that crowd will ultimately be dispersed by gunfire before they have a chance to spend much money. Recently, a shooting at Kabal not only proves that Hip-Hop fans don't know how to behave themselves but also that they have horrible aim.

The gunfight broke out in the parking lot of Kabal Restaurant & Nightclub, 503 Walnut St., police said. Apparently, no one was hit, but bullets hit five cars and police found shell casings in the area.

That's right, thankfully nobody was hurt but not due to a lack of effort. I'm sure if this local hip-hop club keeps catering to the lowest common denominator (read: minority rap fans like myself) it's only a matter of time before somebody gets killed when the shooter inevitably decides to come back in what we in the industry like to call a "remix."

Mama's little baby loves Meth

As further evidence that white people have an insatiable appetite for this insidious drug you've no doubt already heard of a local kid ingesting Meth and the subsequent arrest of his mother.

The sad thing is, while the mom was a former (yeah, right and I'm giving up porn) Meth addict she says she doesn't know where the kid got the stuff. Whereas most people know that if there is an El Camino around, there is a way to get a hold of Meth.

Seriously, this is a sad story not just because kids doing drugs is horrible and wrong and God and the Bible but also because the kid will go through his baby teeth in about two weeks if he keeps up his horrible meth habit.

Mr. Brightside

Things might just be looking up on Troost according to local blog Gone Mild.

But there is something happening on Troost, and it's positive. If you explore the neglected street, you'll see that some wonderful growth has begun, and there are things to appeal to a wide range of interests.

Actually, I hope this is true because I thought that the hookers were the only thing positive on Troost and the only growth was the proliferation of illegal firearms. I'll take my good news wherever I can get it, but it's still no coincidence that I think of 'The Killers' whenever there is a discussion regarding Troost.

Osama doesn't care about Kansas City

In case of emergency there is no plan plan to evacuate the city. On the bright side, officials say there is no need for one.

Kansas City's landlocked location means it needs to prepare for more localized disasters, officials said. They concluded almost nothing could demand the emptying of such a large and sprawling collection of cities. In interviews, they also noted that there were virtually no geographic barriers to evacuation — far different from cities in coastal or mountain areas.

Thankfully, a large portion of the white population in this town has already been evacuated across State Lines.

Cowpokes

Cattle rustling is on the rise in Missouri and across the nation. This is either the work of the aliens or cowboys wanting to relive Brokeback Mountian with a bit of danger thrown in . . . in either case I'm guessing that the animals will be probed.

I'll drink to that!

Now that Janice Ellis has dropped out of the race for the City Council vacancy, George Blackwood will be sworn in next week as the new 4th District Kansas City councilman. A cure for a hangover from KC politics is nowhere in sight.

Starburst: Schoolhouse Rock

The Star teaches us a thing or two about education in this area as they obviously still haven't learned anything about the Internet judging from their stupid online registration policy.

- Kansas about to spend $500 million in order to get your kids to forget all about evolution.

- Bad Blood? KU Med defends study on PolyHeme otherwise known as Count Dracula's version of diet pop.

- Mike Hendricks turns in a fantastic column about an insidious evil that is so dim-witted we dare not speak its name.

- Baby Pandas are the only children of immigrants whose birth we celebrate in this country.

- Tainted love or Too young to fall in love or why must I be a teenager in love (and visa versa). Pervy former Shawnee Mission coach ordered to stay away from his young sweetheart.

- Lawmakers don't want de-facto school vouchers for KC schools. Mainly, because it would be a waste of money.

Town Topics: I feel your pain

- Downtown posers learn the real meaning of irony as they are ripped off by a fake maintenance man.

- As if being Tasered, having the shit beat out of you and pooping your pants in public isn't bad enough. A lawmaker proposes harsher penalties for those who flee police

- Woman Seriously Injured In Fall From Bridge. Unfortunately, there is no way to make this link funny. Unless the woman was wearing a clown suit and then it would be scary . . . and kind of funny as well.

- A dog walker finds 2 bodies along a KCK road along with an excuse to let the mutts use her treadmill.

- Scumbags start your engines: Stadium tax efforts are underway.

- A new location in KC to get your fake degree.

- Excuse #3,529 in order to lie to your wife about your adultery: I-435 Bridge Rehabilitation Project Begins

- KDHE Raise Awareness About Meth Production: Unless you're in a the downtown public library, that ammonia smell is probably out of the ordinary and should be reported.

- Blunt Calls for Vigilance in Tracking Continued Drought Throughout State. Sadly, the drought he's referring to is the shortage of water and not leadership.

- The hunger problem in Kansas City has nothing to do with the lack of a downtown grocery store. You fat bastard.

- When they aren't offering their daughters or their money, alumni and boosters take all the fun out of college sports as evidence by an MU patron behind the recent Snyder investigation.

- A local push for a stricter drunk driving law does not mean that you should speed on when you are invariably drunk and behind the wheel over the weekend.

Blogger Backtalk: Fight the future

- Local blogger Emaw shows us what Mission Mall might look like one day . . . just like Star Trek, there are no Mexicans in the future, not even working at the Orange Julius stand. And to me, that signifies that this plan is nothing more than a pipe dream with some great artwork. Very much like every other construction project in the Greater KC area.

- Deaths' Door posts some actual quotes taken from Federal Government employee performance evaluation.

- Another consumer goes unconvinced. Local blogger Faith: "I certainly hope that American Century takes that damned poster down soon. Creeps me right the fuck out." Lance overlooking us all could be the worst local advertising campaign in the history of this town.

- A local nurse offers sympathy for fellow workers on the nightshift and offers a story of "Some naked black woman with an NG tube hanging out of her nose was screaming the song "God Bless America", and ranting about fighting for her freedom of religion."

- Local blog Happy in Bag notes that the training of "ambassadors" of Kansas City could simply be a waste of time. That is, unless we're talking about training people to mug tourists like those pesky Brazilian kids or the brats from Oliver.

- The X-man reveals the true cost of the crystal bowl. "It’s going to be a freaking nightmare."

- A local blogger cops to what probably wasn't even a petty crime. More like an act of civil disobedience. "Today, I stole a parking spot from a police officer."

- And finally, this local blogger offers two great photo galleries for your viewing pleasure.

"They're Hardly a Match for Meth"

A feature article from The Pitch paints a horribly bleak picture of the Northland as even increased numbers of police can't do much to curb the appetite for Meth.

"It started out all great and good, and everybody had lots of money and lots of stuff and nice things and everybody was happy about three years ago," she says. "Then, slowly, everybody is losing their vehicles, their homes, their children, their jobs. Everybody I know is down and out now. The whole north of the river is ate up. I've never seen anything like this."

Actually, the phenomena sounds like the poor white people version of the heroin epidemic of the 70's and crack in the 80's along with the introduction of Starbucks, Krispy Kreme, Chipotle, Wal-Mart and X-box into more affluent white communities which didn't cause (much) widespread economic suffering but still ended up claiming a great many of their souls.

From low prices to oil to illicit substances there are so many ways that the people of this country are dependent, addicted and obsessed with things that will eventually lead to their own demise.

"2006 WINTER OLYMPIC JIG RECAP"

Could you have possibly forgotten that it's still Black History Month? The best blogger in NY hasn't. And yes, Dallas Penn.com is the best in New York, fuck Jessica Coen, or that is to say that I would like to.

Funding Future Fiascos

HUD is back in business in KC.

The announcement by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development allows the city to spend about $26 million in federal housing dollars allocated in 2005 and 2006, federal officials said.

HUD had withheld federal housing money since July 2004, citing poor management by the city, including undocumented spending and other problems. Those included the highly publicized expensive restorations of two modest homes on Tracy Avenue, where billings exceeded $1 million.

Investigative reporters along with everyone else in search of bad PR regarding affordable housing rejoice!

New eatery will open in jazz district

Hurry up and don't visit it, in much the same way that no one attends all of the other 18th and Vine attractions.

All is not well in Lunch Lady land

The KCMO School District awarded controversial $7.8 million contract to privatize food service

Bidders competing in the process call it unfair while anybody familiar with the KCMO School District knows what kind of tripe they serve up in response to any criticism.

Your Cheney hunting joke was funnier than mine

The Greater Kansas City Chapter of Quail Unlimited has done a great job in preserving wildlife in the area as a recent article in KC Infozine attests. Apparently, because of the work of this group there are more quail around town. Their efforts are actually a lot like plans to lure JoCo shoppers back to KC only without the annoying chain restaurants, condos or over hyped new construction projects.

Teacher On Leave For Alleged Relationship

Badda Bing! SPX teacher allegedly tempts fate. I think I saw a Sopranos episode like this once but then again most things about SPX and the Northland remind me of The Sopranos only with shorter, less talented and unattractive people.

Greener grass and money. 3000th post for TKC

A recent study ranked Joco as the 7th in the nation for median income. Which likely relates to this headline: OP Man Beaten In Robbery Attempt.

Because Willie Sutton knew what he was talking about.

This might explain my animosity for the place to my out of town readers. KC is basically a town of poor people in servitude to the disposable income of a neighboring county that not only carefully guards its purse strings but also expects KC residents to pick up the tab for their entertainment. And in return, they only thing they provide is their white women and a lot service jobs for the Mexicans. The latter doesn't do me any good and I lose my interest in the former after about one minute and 34 seconds.

Update: Ironically, I just realized that this is my 3000th post and that's somewhat fitting. While Kottke seems to be somewhat down on blogging or at least its profitability I have to say that I'm honestly excited about the future of blogging in in this town. Never before have the opinions expressed by the local media seemed so out of touch than when reading the local blogosphere. Around this town there are so many people with a variety of intelligent and unique viewpoints who now have the freedom to express those ideas without "submitting" to the authority of the only newspaper left in this town.

And I'm not someone who thinks that blogging will take over journalism. But read one of the bloggers on my link list and you'll agree that the opinion section of the KC Star seems outdated and out of touch by comparison. That's what makes blogging, personal publishing and the freedom of the Internet so special and this kind of power has never existed before, not in zines and not in CB radio. The fact that you can put something on the web and it's available to anyone in the world with an Internet connection is simply amazing. Not to be too much of a blathering (idiot) revolutionary but the world hasn't seen this kind of leverage since the advent of the suicide bomber.

For me, this page has offered the largest group of people to ever read my writing. Over the duration of this webpage my site has been seen by more than 100,000 unique visitors and I've also been mentioned by more than a few media outlets. All this for doing something that comes naturally, doing something that we all do . . . watching, reading and listening to the news and yelling back "That's bullshit" and then making some kind of sarcastic remark.

As always, thank you for reading this blog. I hope that I've managed to make you laugh at least once and I hope I can continue to do so along with expressing my deep love, concern, contempt and passion for this town, its people and the problems that face us all.

3 Arrested In Fight Outside Westport High

Learn the routine kids, it's about the only thing the KCMO School District can teach you.

Costs For Sprint Arena Jump $26M

Downtown living keeps getting more expensive yet that still hasn't driven out all of the crazy ass homeless people. I guess they're looking forward to the day when the real estate bubble finally busts and they get some company.

This NY blogger knows Bo

Kids out there might not remember Bo Jackson but I'm glad that I remembered to link to this awesome post by the incomparable Dallas Penn who harkens back to the days of cool sneakers and steroid free athletes.

Blogger Backtalk: Women on the verge of a nervous breakdown

Not really but I like the reference and these posts by a few of the best lady bloggers in Kansas City.

- An amazing post by local blogger Heidi offers her take on the public art downtown. She looks at the metal sculptures and comes to the conclusion that "these aluminum women remain in the plaza, one by one. Reading, stretching, whatever it is that they are doing - living their lives openly in isolated public space without fear or harm." This might mean that the sculptures depict women as oblivious, selfish and single minded . . . which is cool because I thought that realism was out in artistic circles.

- "I really hate myself. This is so ugly." The BEST blogger post that I've read in awhile. Seriously, if you have time, send local blogger Pomegranate Pretty an encouraging comment because she accurately captures what so many of us don't have the courage to post. Keep your chin up girl! It makes it easier for life to punch you in the face. Kidding. Again, amazing blogger post, go read.

- The drama and her mama. Lovely local blogger Sheri turns in this definitive post.

Faking it

Let me first note that I'm a proud UMKC alumni. I feel like going to school in KC helped me get a grasp of the real world rather than wasting 4 years believing that life is nothing more than a series of keggers and causal sex (If only). People don't go to UMKC to party, they are there to get some kind of degree so they don't have to shovel shit with the Mexicans for the rest of their lives. There is a hint of desperation in the hallways of the institution, just like the real world. Also, there is virtually no student life other than the meager SGA in which nerdy Black and white people slap fight with each other. For the most part, you don't go to UMKC to make friends. You go there because your job, life, kids and career depend on it. It's nobody's first choice school.

However, because KC is a very political town and all college students are hopelessly naive and self-absorbed . . . politics often passes for partying on campus. A recent sex fair at the college created a few minor news stories and a tad of embarrassment for the administration. The event was held under the guise of a fun spirited educational occasion but like nearly all endeavors by liberal (read: have not yet been mugged) college students it was simply an opportunity to provoke.

The funny thing is . . . UMKC is full of the most unappealing women to ever set foot on a college campus that any attempt at sexiness is a complete waste of time. Seriously, there are few reports of sexual assault on campus because UMKC broads are not even worth date raping. Not so coincidentally, there has always been rumors of a lot of gay sex on campus and I'm tempted to think it may be due to a lack of options. You think I'm kidding but I've seen a better looking selection of women at 3 a.m. at Walmart.

So all of this sex talk put on the Women's Center is simply an exercise in publicity for their borderline lesbian world view. And again, I have nothing against lesbians but I believe they should wear high heels, lipstick and have huge fake boobs in order gain access to the public forum.

And finally, I saw that there was some experimentation with gender reversal at the fair and I was a little bit disgusted. First of all because it seems like the broads running the fair were simply picking on guys with an already fragile sexuality and secondly because everybody knows that an introductory course in Women's Studies is pretty much all it takes to convert a broad to a life of lesbianism, hemp skirts, unshaved underarms and bad music.

In other news, while all of the overweight bi-curious broads were wasting time at the sex fair I'm pretty sure that the many spritely young Asian women who frequent the UMKC campus were busy doing something a little more productive like learning computer science or figuring out how to extend their student visas.

Crunching Crime Numbers in KC

One of the many reasons why a site like Crime Scene KC is useless is because crime stats don't tell the whole story. Even though today the Star reports that all crimes decreased by 1 percent, that doesn't reveal the reality on many of the streets of KC.

What you won't find in crime stats is how actions like Tasering a grandma or torturing some guy who is already handcuffed creates an atmosphere where people don't really want to cooperate with the police.

Furthermore, the local crime numbers don't take into account that a significant segment of the rappers in this town are not only destined to "get rich or die tryin" but also seem committed to spreading the same kind of stupid message through their music that provides the soundtrack to criminality as local Mexicans also sing their stupid odes to drug dealers that have less commercial appeal then local rap music but with slightly better beats.

What crime stats won't reveal is the tragedy behind every act of senseless violence. Additionally, crime statistics won't tell you that (for the most part) this town only responds to tragedy when it involves white people or offers an opportunity for political gain . . . and this city's reaction to increased violence has been underwhelming and most likely would have been greater if more of last year's homicides would have crossed Troost.

All of these important cultural indicators can't be summed up in crime stats and they are only evident when you take into account all of the empty houses on the East side or all of the people in JoCo who would much rather root for KC sports teams than worry about the bill or whatever else happens in KC proper.

The case for eating domesticated animals

Cesar Millan is the Dog Whisperer and his approach toward treating dogs like the animals they are is refreshing. Millan understands "the power of the pack" and that treating a dog like a child isn't doing the mutt any favors. Instead, you're supposed to dominate your dog in the same manner that the spouse who makes less money is dominated.

In that light, the silly animal control laws proposed to treat local animals better than the homeless are as misguided as those people you see being led around the park by their pets.

The fact that a growing number of people equate animals with humans must be addressed and I know just the way to do it. We've got to take a page from the book of our Korean brothers and sisters and start eating dogs. Not only would this put all "animal rights" movements in the proper perspective but, as a website suggests, "Dogs are good food!"

Neither Mexicans nor seniors should have voting rights

So far, the proponents of this measure haven't been able to show any evidence that requiring a photo ID to vote will improve our election system. And, requiring a license to vote will undoubtedly end up keeping many Missourians, mostly seniors and those with disabilities, from being able to cast their ballot on Election Day.

Downtown Development threatens to drive everyone in this town crazy

I-670 lanes will close for Bartle expansion

Bet you can't taste the difference

Body Found Near KC's Water Supply Facility

Do not go gently

Sometimes it's hard for me to make a serious political debate any more stupid but I'll do my best: Protesting funerals maybe the stupidest thing ever concocted but legislating against funeral protesters is almost as silly.

During all of this, whenever I see this lame-ass story about the Phelps crew protesting a funeral and the requisite shock or amazing counter protests . . . the only thing I think is that the only funeral I really object to is my own. And yeah, it's cool that everybody sees the protests as repugnant and wrong but that's not the point.

The point is that the Phelps family got your attention, they got a reaction out of you and in the end if you are offended, if you give into their protests by letting yourself get drawn into a debate then they have won. In part, this is why it's best not to negotiate with terrorists and why I get so few comments even though I have a pretty good number of readers.

The Phelps protests fall under freedom of speech whether you like it or not. I've yet to see one argument that says that they are violating anything but the laws of good taste and morality. Horribly offending someone is not a crime and if it is then Trisha Yearwood should be in jail as well. But here's the thing: Provocateurs, instigators and other assholes can't survive if they don't make a scene. The eternal question remains . . . If Fred Phelps and his posse spoke but nobody listened . . . does he make a sound after all?

Why you shouldn't fight with muggers

Ruskin Heights Woman Shot In Head

Seriously, the 7 dollars and lipstick in your purse is not worth a bullet. Additionally, it's nice to see that downtown development is progressing steadily as the rest of the city is left to fend for itself.

The Whore, The Whore!

The Whole Wheat Blogger notes that former male prostitutes are on the rise in politics . . . serious, unflinching, extra-special, capital letters, I like white women with big asses: NO HOMO.

Of course when you think of male hookers in the political realm you'd have to reference the Guckert/Gannon scandal but now there is also case of Tom Malin, Democrat who also worked as a hooker in Dallas.

This is troubling . . . because I always thought that the only people the Democrats whored themselves out to were the pollsters.

Visit The Whole Wheat Blogger for more info and links of the subject or read the back pages of The Pitch if you'd like to find out about paying for hot gay sex for yourself. Wear a condom in either case . . . and put them on your ears too . . . because I think that's funny.

Fletch lives because my mama told me so

I know that any true fan of the Fletch books would cringe that I mention dumbass Chevy Chase when referring to their addiction but I thought the first movie was good. Maybe that's because it was on HBO about 5,000 times during my formative years (along with The Beastmaster) but I've learned to love the lame comedy and so should Fletch fans if they could ever get their heads out of those damn books and stop using their imagination.

Anyway, local blogger DTS recalls that it was his mom who first got him hooked on the popular books in this post that contains some great links and insights into the series.

Gotta Have Faith?

Local blogger Rusty posts a blasphemous and brilliant post regarding the oftentimes mutually exclusive subjects of religion and reason.

I heard someone say this one once. Suicide is a sin in the eyes of God, yet his son Jesus willingly died on the cross for the sins of man. Does this mean that Jesus committed suicide on the cross?

As (my twin*) Vincent Vega of Pulp Fiction fame would say : "That's a bold statement." And I don't think I could say or type something like that without constantly fearing a lightning bolt up my ass, but to each his own. Rusty also lists a lot of scripture from Leviticus which is the favorite book of people who like to tell you what to do. However, I've been engaged in Bible study as well and if I'm reading correctly (doubtful) I think I've worked it out so that not only can I have multiple wives but I can also justify robbing a bank, beating my slaves and using disabled children from foreign lands as a foot stool. It's not exactly what Jesus would do, but when was the last time that ever stopped anyone from serving themselves God?

*Goddamn I have a flawed healthy self-image

Making a killing

The Tracy Pierce story still seems to anger local news watchers. Local blogger Dan delivers a deadly dose of bad PR:

If you work for First-Health Coventry, you need to think about how you are spending your life. If you own stock in First-Health Coventry, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you are insured by First-Health Coventry, your life is in danger.

I agree with Dan 100% but I'm also a little bit saddened (but not surprised) by the fact that making profits in this world requires a whole lot of pain. Insurance, tobacco, big oil, big pharma (i.e. drug dealers), the diamond industry, government, lawyers, women's shoes and even my beloved porn all rake in their huge earnings in no small part because of the world's suffering. They don't tell you this in school but it seems like the best way to make a lot of money is to find a way to legally kill somebody or a lot of people for even more profits. Yes, that's bad news for humanity but on the bright side I think that the time and attention I've devoted to perfecting my suicide/massage booth will be well rewarded.

Crazy in Kansas City

I like the fact that I'm the craziest person with whom I work. It's far better to give people headaches than to receive them. Writing is a weird racket in that even on my worst days there's really no one I can hurt with a misspelled word or an awkward phrase. And while I'm doing my best, I doubt that anything I type will ever result in permanent injury.

The same is not true in nursing.

The author of local blog "General Blather" recounts a frightening night in the psyche ward with a crazy bastard shouting "I'm going to kill a nurse!" to welcome her. It's an amazing post and it probably puts your hardest day at the office in perspective. That is, unless your job involves yelling stupid things and scaring the shit out of people and in that case I've heard that the perks that go along with being a Jackson County official are well worth it.

Your local band will not make it

For the sake of argument, let's say this post is not about you. Let's say that you are the exception to the rule and your music is relevant, original and soon to be discovered so that many STD laden, druggie, jail bait groupies will line up at your door in hopes of one day filing a paternity suit against you. For the moment, we're talking about somebody else.

Additionally, let's also note that there is, in fact, a thriving local music scene that is not only well documented but also supported by venues with national recognition. I'm not contending that there aren't some pretty great bands in town because there are . . . just not you. But remember, as long as you're a local performer willing to sell out to anybody you ever met . . . there will always be a place for you in the music industry.

Now that we've got that out of the way, the rest is simple: You suck.

Your band sucks not only because your lyrics are full of lines stolen from B-movies but also because those movies all star Steven Segal. Your band sucks because you're all overweight but somehow still have less talent then The Fat Boys, who were actually quite good. Can you beatbox? Your band sucks because it's simply a vehicle for you to pick up naive chicks in order to have a threeway with you and your wife . . . and that's just putting the cart before the horse.

Finally, your band sucks because you are a causal drug user and like all casual drug users you think you're deep when in reality you just mumble and puke a lot. Never fear, you're not a member of the only band that sucks in Kansas City. Regrettably, there are a lot of shitty bands in this town, so you'll have company. And just so you don't think I'm too mean (I am) I'm not telling you to stop doing what you love. But, just as there are now several columnists out there raining on the parade of bloggers with overly pessimistic articles that are light on facts and long on speculation, I just thought I would take a little time out of my day to put you in your place or at least let you know that if your band was a woman I wouldn't fuck her with Kay Barnes' dick.

Now that I've written this, I feel better and I feel like I've done a service to the local musicians whose mediocrity is encouraged by drunk people and guilty relatives across the city. Also, it's not like I haven't heard the same thing regarding all of my endeavors. You can use this thoughtful analysis and struggle to make yourself better or you can (wisely) give up. The choice is yours, either way I probably don't want to listen to your answer.

Run, blogger, run

This adorable local blogger reflects on why she runs. Whereas, in my case I know exactly why I run and it's usually from the police or from people I owe money.

Couple Shot To Death In KC Home

"2 Children, Grandmother Inside House When Shooting Happened"

On the bright side, as Spring approaches The Mayor's Rain Garden program seem to be successful whereas the city's initiatives toward ending local violence seem to be futile as it continues to rain bullets in KC.

Cupcakes in Kansas City

Someday, I'll understand white people and then I will rule the world. Until then, I have to simply stand back and try to contemplate how something as delicious as a cupcake can be ironic when viewed through the eyes of hipster culture.

Anyway, BlogKC tracks the latest hipster trend that has finally made its way to KC and thereby can officially be declared over. Just like there are still plenty of people in this town who wear trucker caps with no hint of irony whatsoever.

Join the crowd

I didn't notice this until recently but EKC is the latest KC publication to take on KCMO School Board President David Smith with a really good editorial that features some great info and quotes:

The Hispanic community as a whole has become disenchanted with their public school system over the past few years. Initiatives to start their own school at the Guadalupe Center and bring into the area private charter schools geared toward the challenges faced by Hispanic students is most evident of that.

While leaders in the Hispanic community in Missouri realize that it is up to them to step up to the plate to run for board positions, most feel the Hispanic population has become so disenfranchised from the system; they are tired of trying to bring themselves into the fold.

“There has not been good relationships with the superintendents, they just haven’t been responsive to the (Hispanic) community,” said Bernardo Ramirez, associate director of Guadalupe Centers, Inc.,

Town Topics: The Blame Game

Initially, I thought putting these links in one big post all together might save time. But, alas, like most thing . . . I was wrong. So enjoy this list of links because it's probably the last time I'll do it until there is a wave of stories featuring nude pics of our beloved Mayor.

- Senate Committee Endorses Cruelty To Animals Bill. Or another reason to order veal this weekend.

- Man Hit, Killed On His Birthday By Fleeing Driver. When I'm lazy, life makes jokes for me.

- Warden Wants Officer Fired After Manard Escape OR Finding yet another person to blame besides Toby Young.

- Friends Tell Different Story of Convicted Killer. However, the guy killed during one of Manard's crimes remains silent.

- Nursing Home Employee Charged With Rape

- Glacial Study Gives KU Recognition and a variety of boring stories.

- Lee's Summit will consider subsidies for shopping center: Rich get richer.

- OP Convention Center's profit, revenue rise: Rich get richer part deux.

- Closings' effect on KC-area RadioShacks unclear except for the fact that many nerds will be upset.

- A 15-year-old Kansas City boy was critically injured Monday after he allegedly took his mother's car without permission and crashed it while trying to elude police.

- Who is Ed Eilert and why is he getting Back Into Politics?

- Talent seeks special designation for rivers' confluence in order to provide another tourist spot that no one will visit.

It's the little differences

A heartwarming story that will undoubtedly make you and everyone you know feel like a loser as we get flustered by a computer glitch or a soda machine this morning.

Born with a heart that’s ready to roll

Who would want to blow up Kansas City?

"The plan is to have Asian freight shipped into a port in Mexico run by a Chinese company and then have the cargo containers put on a rail line and shipped to Kansas City where U-S Customs officials would have their first look at them. "

Mike Sanders to the rescue

Prosecutor asked to study mayor's delinquent taxes

It's all about performance

Local blogger Happy in Bag makes an excellent point when he advises investors to: Put your "can’t beat the index" face on.

Most importantly, their financial results are mediocre. American Century’s most popular fund, Ultra, lagged its benchmark S&P 500 index in 2005, the last five years and the last ten years.

Local NIN Reviews

This local blogger is still recovering from the NIN show, which is good 'considering Kemper Arena is a "p.o.s."'

Additionally, this review from local music site Patchcord contains some pretty amazing photos: NIN@kemper-arena.

And it's not to late to sign up for the Matisyahu Youth Giveaway offered by the local music site.

Boring Bridge article

You might want to read this if you're into this town's history but I'm pretty sure this article about a Northeast KC bridge is not nearly as interesting as the people who hide under the bridge in order to use drugs.

Shoe switches foot

Kline's Office Reports Potential Ethics Problem

Of course, we're all looking forward to him opening up his records and giving a full accounting of what was reportedly a simple "mistake."

If there is no God, there is sure as Hell Karma.

Blogger Backtalk: Watching the wheels go round

- Truckers are not as cool as their gear according to this local blogger: "Not only did I not flash the man, I zipped my hoodie all the way to the top."

- A beautiful description of a local frozen pond and it's inhabitants by local blogger Tevis.

- Local blogger Mac finds a great quote regarding the current "culture of fear."

- Photos links and a movie review from local blogger ScooterJ.

- A local blogger proposes a movie night with employees even more disgruntled than those poor slobs at the theater chains. R@dical Movie Nights in Kansas City could soon offer an alternative to simply being pissed at home.

- After an interview with Executive Director of Central Missouri Community Action, local blogger JDub comes to a conclusion that there is money for war, but not people. It's the classic "guns or butter" dilemma that plagued the Johnson Administration and is starting to take it's toll on the current cowboy in office. However, it's far easier to blame losing the war on filthy, dirty hippies and it's fun too.

Used by the News

When discussing the print media there is a temptation to use terms like "community journalism" and similar nonsense but at the end of the day it's a business. A business that The Star seems to be running poorly. Recent problems with their webpage, their poorly received entry into the local blogosphere (I think CrimeScene KC has about one link from all of the locals combined) and now their ridiculous online advertising which makes it almost unbearable to look at their page have all demonstrated that Kansas City's paper of record is absolutely clueless regarding their web strategy.

I could offer some help but I doubt they would take it and it's going to be kind of fun to watch as their parent company will inevitably sell them off and they will ultimately end up as merely a shell former selves bitterly clinging onto their glory days like an old prize fighter or JoCo housewife who just turned 30.

A view from above

Either the glass is half empty or half full. Your wife/husband is either a ball and chain or the only person who might consider wiping your butt for no pay if you are ever incapacitated. I can't say that I'm an optimist and I'm not really a fan of the new additions to the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art but the aerial photos of the project provided by local blog 'Three O'Clock in the Morning' are amazing.

In my stupid opinion, they look like a bunch of parking garages put next a really cool building . . . You know, like those pre-fab garages that country folk use to molest dumb kids and animals or store their supplies for the Rapture.

Anyway, the pics are amazing as they reveal an interesting perspective of the Nelson and midtown KC, if you look real closely you can see a few people from the East side walking toward the Plaza in search of someone to mug.

Suffering for your art

The contract for the public art in and around The Sprint Center went to a New York artist rather than an artist from KC and that has created an uproar among may pissed off denizens of the local art scene. Local artist advocate Paul Dorrell shared his thoughts yesterday at KC Infozine in a scathing piece he titled: "Insulting Kansas City and Regional Artists."

What message does this send to our young artists? That they must leave here to be taken seriously? That if they stay, they're automatically no good? And how does this benefit our art economy, when large portions of those monies could instead go toward the developing of our artists in more significant, and innovative, ways.

I've officially changed my mind about this issue. While I don't care much about art or artists I'm all for keeping the locals employed. Still, whether the grant goes to a New York artist or one from KC I'm sure that somehow the cash will find it's way into the hands of a drug dealer. Call it an inspired guess.

Brokeback but not Bareback in Kansas City

Apparently, syphilis is working its way around this town faster than a dude recently out of the closet or a twenty-something woman with low self-esteem. In order to fight the disease Fox 4 reports that "Flo," the grande dame of Kansas City's drag queens is stepping in to help spread awareness.

And this is a good thing because too often the media portrays reckless behavior and doesn't show the consequences. Sex can have long lasting effects that can destroy a person's health and ultimately end in death . . . Yeah, that's right, marriage and kids are just a couple of the consequences of irresponsible sexual behavior.

One last thing

Just to make sure that I don't leave a dead horse unbeaten I'd like to point out that David Smith's discriminatory practices are set to go into high gear with the selection of a new Superintendent. There is already a backlash in the local Latino community that could culminate during the next School Board Meeting. Here is a preview of what might be said:

The leader of one civic group already has challenged Smith’s role.

Rita Valenciano is president of the board of directors for the Coalition of Hispanic Organizations. In an "As I See It" column published Thursday in The Kansas City Star, Valenciano wrote that Smith should step away from the superintendent search after a Jackson County jury earlier this month determined that Smith, as president of the Boys & Girls Clubs of Greater Kansas City, had wrongfully fired a manager after she said his hiring practices were racist. Smith is black.

Interviewed Friday, Valenciano said, "As a Hispanic community, our concern is we don’t feel that we have been heard or well served by this district. Not in hiring in education or in contracting."

While School Board Meetings are usually just a farce, the opposition to Smith from the Hispanic community seems to be serious if only because it could be the largest group of Latinos to participate in the KC School District for something other than dropping out.

Starburst: Pie in the sky

- The dicks at the KC Star drone on about organs.

- The Star Editorial Board notes that the tenure of Katheryn Shields was marked by success, mistakes and gravy stains.

- Country Club Kay in a special to The Star: KC blooms with rain gardens OR "What makes the grass grow? Blood makes the grass grow!"

- Support our troops or kids . . . you decide.

- The folks in Johnson County discuss options regarding public art OR Suburban scumbags decide what color to paint a proposed "Got to Hell KCMO" sign to put on State Line.

- Local roads are backward and ugly, just like the British.

- St. Louis scientist still stupidly looking for intelligent life on other planets after giving up on looking for it here.

If you have a subscription, please complain about The Star's silly online registration policy.

The Dunn Family Ruins Everything

About a year ago, Bill Dunn Sr. decided to deliver a controversial speech at the Mayor's Prayer Breakfast that espoused his conservative beliefs about how God gave him his money and poor (brown) people are evil and whatever. Obviously, this didn't go over well with the crowd and the dirty hippies who attended the event got their panties in a bunch and either dropped out of the following year's festivities or wrote editorials about the speech. Clearly, Dunn Sr. forgot that he has to pay people to agree with him.

Eventually, the controversy came to a head (no homo) and Country Club Kay decided to drop out of the event and now she still hasn't changed her mind. In the grand scheme of things this isn't very important. In fact, it's not very important in any scheme of things unless you're discussing how the Mayor, rich people and other leaders in this town waste time, effort and money eating breakfast and dicking around with each other.

Air Ameri-duh

Just received a tip from a local blogger that Krazy Kris Kobach is on KMBZ spewing all kinds of stupid things with that authoritative tone that they tell scared people to use. This local politico hasn't ever won a big election so I don't know how they expect him to win ratings. Will it be another failure in a long series for the constant campaigner or is talk radio the perfect medium for his ill informed, reactionary ranting? To tell the truth, I hope he does well and is safely confined to the radio dial where I can easily tune him out.

Cowtown Corral: A town without pity.

Life has it's ups and downs, ins and outs and lots of other nasty stuff as well. But if you keep your feet on the ground, your hand on your wallet and your condoms in a cool, dry location then there's no reason that you can't keep a ho in check. If that's that's your aim . . . which it should be.

- You must now keep searching for a plan to hook up a three-way that does not involve winning the lottery. Keep me posted.

- Mauled To Death: Sears soon to leave Bannister Mall. Even the ghosts there will be lonely now.

- Crazy ass local brothers on the run for more than 15 years were crazy but not terrorist crazy.

- Good news my precious children. A Tuition Break Bill Passes in Missouri so now you can afford to pay your pot dealer.

- The Conejo crashes on it's way to Dallas. Mexicans are a lot like Doritos. Crunch all you want. We'll make more . . .

- North American Countries meet in KC in order to discuss how to more effectively outsource your job.

- Youth Turkey Hunting Clinic teaches kids that the first rule of saftey is to stay the hell away from Dick Cheney.

Double Edged Justice

Hot Lesbian Action now involves raising kids which makes it not so hot anymore.

Read the discussion at KCTalk and then ask yourself why they couldn't find better pics.

Blogger Backtalk: Picture this

If a picture is worth a thousand words, I should simply stop typing and just let you work your way through these local bloggers, their links and the interesting images they provide.

- "Stupid girls reign the media, and I see them by the truckload at the AMC."

- An ancient alternative to Facebook. Local blogger Mac makes an unusual discovery that probably is the work of photoshop but still very cool nonetheless.

- Yikes, there is a gross pic on the other end of this this link and I can feel this blogger's pain as he recounts the details of his recent eye surgery.

- More photoshop goodness that makes a mockery of American Century's new public nuisance advertising campaign that features the gigantic head of Lance Armstrong scaring the shit out of Kansas City.

The Kansas City Star Supports Discrimination

Never mind that Steve Penn and Louis Diuguid normally leave no stone unturned when looking for examples of racism against Black people but obviously don't care when that same discrimination exists against other minorities.

Never mind that KCMO School Board President has been FOUND GUILTY of unfairly firing an employee because she complained of discriminatory hiring practices.

Forget that the dropout rate among Local Latinos in the KCMO School District is more than 50% and there are few Latino employees or contractors in a district that has a growing population of Hispanics. . . forget all of this because The Star has also disregarded all notions of fairness and equality in order to align themselves with a President of the KCMO School Board who has openly discriminated against whites and Latinos.

Today, The Star defends David Smith and his discriminatory hiring practices. In the unsigned editorial The Star attempts to retry the case of Smith's confirmed bigotry even though he was ALREADY FOUND GUILTY of improperly terminating someone who dared question him. They offer this passage that would make Bill Clinton smile and light up a big stinky cigar:

A reasonable conclusion is that Smith, while heeding the racial dynamics of the clientele and communities served by his organization, showed poor judgment by raising the issue of race when he and Bryant discussed hiring decisions.

But it is not reasonable to conclude that the verdict establishes a pattern of discriminatory or vindictive behavior by Smith. No employee other than Bryant alleged such a thing, and Smith's long record of service belies it.

And then you just have to laugh because the "long record of service" includes presiding over a miserably failing school district that has neither served Latinos nor whites (or even Blacks for that matter) with any level of competence. This is evidenced by whites wanting to run away from the district in mass and Latinos dropping out or scraping in order to go to Catholic Schools in similar numbers. So who is it that Smith has served?

And because I don't expect anybody to care about Latino issues that much, you have to ask yourself this question when it comes to the Star's biased, hypocritical and political support of Smith. What if Smith was a white guy? Can you imagine the fallout if the Star defended some white guy who WAS FOUND GUILTY of firing a Black woman for simply doing her job and then went on to make sure that a Hispanic and a female were not employed in positions for which they were qualified?

This is a perfect example of the corporate, political and limp coverage provided by KC's largest producer of bird cage liner. If this kind of one-sided opinion makes up their editorial pages it's reasonable to believe that The Star's reporting is no doubt informed by the same misguided thinking. It's no wonder then that so many people have searched out different forms of media in order to formulate their own opinions instead of simply buying The Star's company line.

What have we learned?

Sorry for the late posts today kids, blame Miller High Life for making your Uncle Tony sleep in. I never learn from my mistakes but maybe you can take a lesson from local blunders. Like these:

- Citizens before concrete: More comments on Red Bridge Road Story than I ever expected. Alvin Brooks escapes criticism this week but hopefully there will be more in the future. For all the people following the story or posting stuff of their own, please forward to me and I'll link as well.

- The Star doesn't care about Brown people. Louis Diuguid and Steve Penn avoid all discussion of a clear cut example of bigotry . . . Black discrimination . . . Reparations(?) that is.

- Local bloggers and artists have Lance and American Century by the ball. Making fun of multi-million dollar advertising campaigns and thereby making them pointless and trite: Priceless.

- I support Marcus Leach so does TAASU. One of us is doing it because it's the right thing and the other is simply perpetuating and endless cycle of racial animosity and bickering . . . pick'em.

- There are now nearly A BILLION reasons to vote against the Stadium Tax. However, The Star wants you to vote for it but won't really explain why.

- White guys fall hard . . . boy scouts fall harder. Life lesson: Don't put your faith in boxers or politicians.

- Payoffs get harder to make for citizens in this town, unless you're developing real estate.

- Finally, I couldn't find a link for the much contested public art in front of the new Sprint Center but local news has reported that officials have chosen a New York artist (read: better than KC) and a scary video display that features local people flying though the air. Of course, I have an advance copy of what the final product will look like:



Yep, that's right. Thousands in public money and they couldn't come up with a better idea than the cheesy opening scene from Superman II. That's art for ya . . .

As always, have a fun and safe Saturday Night folks. Thank you for reading.

Peace.

Party Pooper: From my mail bag (nullus)

I've been getting a lot of mail about the Manard/Young Prison break. A LOT of people are sympathetic to Young and that's understandable. Here's the best comment I've received:

I don't think the degrading comments you made about Toby Young were necessary. I'm not going to bore you with the obvious facts that point to her being a kind, compassionate, giving person. I do know for a fact that she has never been exposed to the environments that would harbour people like Maynard, so she had no defense of his presumably perfected skills of manipulation. Hell, he's had all his adult life to study how to get into people's heads and methods of manipulation. Bottom line is that she's a good person that made a dumb-ass mistake, and hopefully this won't be her final mistake. I hope you are capable of at least hoping she's alive.

For the record, I do hope Young makes it out of this thing alive not only because I because life is precious and God and the Bible, blah, blah, blah but also because I'm looking forward to viciously making fun of her during the trial. So, yes, I'm hope Toby Young avoids tragedy due to her bad choices just as I hope the same for all of us . . . I think that's some kind of guilt ridden Catholic prayer that I can't remember but the sentiment is pretty much the foundation of all religion and one of the few things in which I believe very deeply. I think.

Starburst: Shine on

Here's some more highlights from today's Star . . . if you have a subscription you should complain about their silly website registration policy:

- Stan "The Man" Glazer wants you read all 39 pages of his book. It's a bit longer than his wife is old. Still, I wonder if it's more instructional than the books used by Country Club Kay when she used to teach her class sex ed class.

- Good timing helped the Manard/Young prison break succeed. Obviously, menopausal women can be talked into anything so that's the right time to seduce them if you desperately need out of a jam.

- "Divorce, Johnson County style" It's just like a normal divorce only with more money to fight over and more screwing around. Also, I'm guessing that self-righteous indignation and hypocrisy play as big of a role in divorces in JoCo as the houses in that hood.

- For the sake of us all, just put a casino in Union Station instead of yet another boring attraction that no one will see.

- Blue Springs Mayor Steve Steiner pays his taxes but also continues to pay the price for living among all the other humorless tightasses in suburban Blue Springs.

- Brokeback Bureaucrats: "Blunt/Nixon Friction" makes journalists uncomfortable and puts a disturbing image in my mind.

- The Star provides marketing tips on how to get the Stadium Tax passed on the odd chance that Lamar Hunt is reading.

Red Bridge Road: Future Triangle Bypass

Truckers have it made. I used to joke about going to truck driving school because of those gully commercials that used to be on late night television but now it turns out that being a trucker could be the best thing in the world. Not only only do you have a bunch of hipster kids craving your gear but also you have those cool mudflaps with the silhouette of a naked chick on them, reasonably priced hookers, access to all kinds of pep pills and most importantly you have cities (like this one) just dying to build big ass 5 lane roads for you.

Mike Hendricks turns in a great column today about residents of South KC fighting to keep their neighborhood from becoming a truckstop.

The name of Councilman Chuck Eddy comes up first when neighborhood activists speak of the bridge project that inspired their conspiracy theory.

Why is Eddy pushing so hard, they ask, to replace the narrow 74-year-old span for which Red Bridge Road is named? And why such a broad bridge on such a skinny road?

Unless, of course, it's the first step in a plan to replace the two-lane blacktop to the east of the five-lane bridge with a major truck route that will ruin the neighborhood while helping Eddy somehow get elected mayor!

Of course Eddy blows off the criticism but South KC residents seem to be pretty savvy in waging a grass roots media campaign with both clever signs along Red Bridge Road and a website dedicated to fighting the project.

Isn't in ironic? Don'tcha think?

The head of Jackson County's anti-drug operation recently arrested for drunk driving will seek substance-abuse treatment.

In related news:

• I'm thinking about going into anger management classes.


• Mike Sanders might soon get a makeover.


• Katheryn Shields is all about Weight Watchers.


• Viagra: If it's good enough for Bob Dole, it's good enough for Charles Wheeler.


• And if you have any movie passes left over from X-mas please send them to Dan Tarwater and Bob Stringfield because I'm sure they want to see Brokeback Mountain again if they had another chance.

Yep, we all have problems but some of us are courageous enough to admit it and do something to change . . . at least until the next relapse.

The Rising Tide Against David Smith

David Smith is President of the KC School Board and he was recently found guilty of unfairly firing an employee after she raised concerns regarding discriminatory hiring practices. While most of the white people in this town have remained silent because they either have little vested interest in KCMO public schools or they just don't care and would rather simply secede from the district altogether local Latinos aren't afforded any of those luxuries.

Smith's unfair and illegal hiring practices have created a stir in the Latino Community. Recently, in an "As I see it" column in The Star local Latina Rita Valenciano wrote of her concerns regarding the issue and what it means for Latinos who have been so horribly neglected by the KCMO public schools:

"The effect of his actions on Latino or Caucasian students, their families and future employment candidates of the district is profound — that is, if they continue in a district where it is all right for leaders to discriminate."

Additionally, if you pick up a copy of The Kansas City Hispanic News you'll find that nearly all of this week's editorial section is devoted to the topic. Typically, Smith has refused to address the concerns of many local Latinos and he's hiding behind his lawyer and support from various cronies who owe him favors.

Take it slow

As if downtown construction and the pot hole laden streets in this town weren't enough to keep your speed down to a crawl, the loophole for pleading down traffic tickets is coming to an end in KC.

City officials on Thursday put the brakes on a Municipal Court policy of allowing traffic violators to repeatedly plead to lesser charges and keep points off their driving records. Points can lead to license suspensions and higher insurance rates.

Previously, KC had one of the most lenient policies toward speeders and that's created a lot of business for local lawyers who graduated in the bottom of their class. Now that the loophole could soon be gone . . . My advice to the guy who is depositing a briefcase full of unmarked bills from an insurance company is to drive carefully and obey the speed limit.

Leach Impeached

Okay, I know there's no need for a lynching reference here because there are few things LESS important than Student Government but I got word yesterday that Marcus Leach was impeached at around 1 in the morning . . . And subsequently removed from his presidency. The timing is significant because that's about the time when most college students make their bad decisions. Again, this is a really poor choice and it's obviously a very bigoted move by many of the people involved with Student Government. A lot of people want to skirt that issue but it underlies almost everything at UMKC which is what makes the place kind of cool and not just your average hippie vs. future suit campus. Finally, the move is just plain silly and stupid. I've met Leach and he not only seems like a smart and talented guy but also he's not someone who should have to endure high school cafeteria politics and charges that seem petty at best.

Eh, it's yet another lesson provided by the college from which I graduated about politics and why decent people rarely get involved. Also, it's nearly impossible for me to imagine the insufferable pricks behind this impeachment move . . . I always wondered where political consultants came from . . . I thought they just grew under rocks . . . Apparently, they get their start in Student Government.

Smokers and chewers need not apply at Truman

"The decision to hire no more tobacco users was a continuation of the two-hospital system's move late last year to prohibit the use of tobacco products on its campuses and other properties."

However, the local medical center will still host a great many users of tobacco products in their hospital beds.

"Murdered by Lawyers @ Coventry Health"

This local blogger posts an amazing and passionate response to a popular but all to common story of inadequate health coverage in KC.

"If that bitch thinks she's gonna make a bid for Mayor, she's fucking crazy"

MilkToastKC fearlessly and hilariously reports on the political future of Kathryn Shields.

Dreams of destruction in KC

This local blogger shouldn't worry. I have recurring dream that I'm naked in the City Market in the Spring and everyone is laughing throwing tiny pickles at me. So far that has not come to pass.

NOW THIS IS PUBLIC ART I CAN SUPPORT!

Death's Door provides a photo of what the best use of public space in this city would look like . . . in a perfect world.

KC Councilman Bill Skaggs can't keep his wife in check

How do you expect to run a city when you can't control your wife? A recent public argument by Bill Skaggs and his ball and chain clearly demonstrates that the councilman is not in control. The only saving grace that the Councilman can lean on is that maybe The Star was more apt to note to his wife's complaints than him. Still, while I appreciate the Councilman's egalitarian views on the public art on display at the Airport I'd like to know that my civic leaders are in control in their homes as well.

Actually, henpecked Skagss may not have the worst situation when it comes to the home lives of local leaders. If you do any investigating at all you'll find the kids of many local politicos are the most out of control and drug crazed people in the city. Which might explain their lust of many politicians for some semblance of authority.

Hat tip: Gone Mild

Personal body care nirvana . . . coming soon to Oak Park Mall

I have only used lotion when I masturbate. I have no idea why women go crazy for the stuff. This post provides a few clues and tells of another store hocking this crap soon to make an appearance in KC.

Smiling Irish Eyes

Malloy Bros. Irish Pub is one of the local businesses nice enough to link me. I thought I would return the favor and point out that they host some of the most kickass live music in the city. Visit the place, get your drink on and check out their website which has a bunch of music links along with some local stuff.

"Something is clearly out of whack. And when that happens, a slump follows."

B-school blogger Tim shares his insight on an interesting article related to economics and your impending financial doom.

Winter Weather Advisory and Outlook for the Greater Kansas City Area

Careful out there kids, I don't want to lose any readers. Take it slow, look both ways and save the car sex till Spring.

Homeland Security keeps KC safe from a mother and her newborn

In order to defeat the terrorists a local woman and her baby are getting booted out of the country. I guess if this woman was allowed to work for minimum wage then Osama would have won. Of course there's always the argument that "This woman broke the law!" but then again segregation used to be legal as well. Enjoy your security and your 9 dollar cheeseburger my fellow Americans.

Finally, it's also hilarious to note that opponents of abortion don't care about Mexican babies in much the same way they don't give a shit about all of the MILLIONS of Black infants who end up dead because of abortions:

Judge Scott O. Wright caused a stir among abortion opponents because Wright had long been an abortion rights advocate. In the Dick case, however, abortion opponents said the judge was using their arguments to meet his needs in an immigration case.

I guess life is not nearly as precious as politics and the pro-life crowd is, in truth, merely another segment of the pro-white crowd but with a self-righteous attitude and better slogans.

All this makes me a lot less fearful of the day when the Chinese (inevitably) take over and abortions are mandatory.

Goodbye Goodfella

Local mobster Tony Civella recently died. You could say that this O.G. ran the first version of Tony's Kansas City but that would be stupid because the only thing this page hurts is your feelings.

While white people respect and revere the mob (as evidenced by the popularity of The Sopranos) it's kind of different for minorities since they actually have to deal with Italians for something other than bookmaking or hairdressing. You might (not) recall one of the money lines from The Godfather when referring to the darkies:

"They're animals anyway, so let them lose their souls."

This line pretty much reflected the attitude of the Italians and J. Edgar Hoover when it came to keeping drugs in minority communities. The legacy of that ideology continues today but is lessened by the fact that white people go cuckoo for coke and Meth as well.

Anyway, I'm sure many local Italians will mourn the death of Civella because it lessens the respect and prestige of being Italian (heh) to a point where the only thing they have to brag about is bad clothes, over priced food and ridiculous hair. The article notes that it's an "end of an era" but I can't say that I'm too sad to see Italian oppression and influence wane or at least be confined to Rudy Giuliani. In fact, as I write this I don't fear reprisals because most Italians in KC are now nothing more than suburban white people with funny names and the rest of them are short. I've noted before that I've had the shit kicked out of me by Italians in the past and it's not that big of a deal . . . they're only as tough as their pointy shoes.

In remembrance of Civella I think I might go to the casino and throw away some money or maybe just buy a few things from Wal-Mart. In either case I'll be giving my money to large corporations who now run all of the mob's old businesses much more efficiently.

A parking czar for KC

Whereas you would have to be Rasputin in order to navigate the streets of Downtown KC.

"Leach, who is Black"

With more wit, insight and attitude I brought you the story of UMKC's embattled Student government President Marcus Leach weeks ago. Today, the Star decides to follow my lead and does a follow up on the controversy. Allegedly, a couple of College Republicans er, dirtbags Student Government leaders might have made a move to impeach Leach (no poet) because he was/is Black. Although it's probably just because he was "uppity" . . . a far worse offense.

Kevin Lujin, the senate president pro tem, who is a leader of the impeachment effort, said Wednesday night that suggestions of racial motives were, "absolutely untrue. It is about making sure both executives fulfill their duties."

Earlier Wednesday, Lujin said: "In the eyes of the Senate, neither one of them were doing their job. I think the Senate was worried that the operating account was being used to grant political favors."

University administrators said they had seen no evidence of favoritism by Leach or his executive board.

According to the story, Leach received overwhelming support from the Student Body but you have to consider that these are people who couldn't get into a real college and most of them would support any ridiculous cause if it included a free t-shirt.

Still, maybe Leach and all of the other UMKC brats can learn an important lesson from this: Racial politics are tough to it's best to align yourself with a Black person and let them deflect criticism as you slide by on your father's hard work while other people make all the important decisions and shoot all the important people.

P.S. - Save Marcus!

A rally for Independence

The Northeast News reports on a meeting of more than 700 people wanting to leave the KCMO School District.

The Fan

My Grandmother always tells me that I'm handsome. I love her for lying. In that same respect my girlfriend has set up YET ANOTHER blog. Her page makes reference to this site but it's not a tribute. TKC Girl is Sheri's latest project where she will document her mood swings and all of the other things I can't be bothered to listen to . . . after awhile it's all just "wonk, wonk, wonk" like Charlie Brown's teacher.

I don't know how much about our relationship she'll share on her page but I do think it'll be fun to read if I ever decide to start beating her.

She knows that I love her writing and she will always be my favorite lovely local blogger. She has more loyal readers than I do so I wouldn't describe this post as a promo . . . In fact maybe some of you could persuade her to post some nude pics. Lord knows I haven't had any luck.

"I'm a total slacker piece of shit"

Unknowingly or not, Pomegranate Pretty invokes the blogger credo in a magnificent post that captures student/married/real life with stunning honesty.

Chipotle: Soon in Southern Olathe

I will never understand how some places can welcome Mexican food but not Mexicans. Very much like I couldn't understand Anti-Semitic Christians (Hello. The Big JC was the biggest member of the tribe) . . . then 9/11 went down and suddenly everybody loved the Israelis because it provided a good excuse to hate the dirty, brown Arabs and that makes perfect sense.

"Unimportant. That is how I feel."

The KC Fat Chic is so vulnerable it makes me sad. But then I remember that Frida Kahlo once said: "Never trust a limping dog or the tears of a woman." I'm sure she'll be back on her feet, with a guy under them, in no time.

Women love the Doggy Style

Details from the Manard/Young prison break just keep getting funnier/tragic/embarrassing. Young reportedly helped the convict escape by putting him in a dog crate.

Actually, this is quite a romantic story. Most women don't really help out to achieve a good doggy style position unless you pull their arms out from underneath them.

Incidentally, human history has been marked by the subjugation, oppression and indentured servitude of women and that is a deplorable aspect of our civilization. However, Young's alleged involvement with the ex-con demonstrates that much of that treatment was deserved.

Wyandotte stretch downtown will close

Downtown maze gets that much more complicated for members of the rat race taking on the white man's burden that involves painful commuting and commitment. Country Club Kay moved your cheese.

Utility Could Control Usage With New Thermostat

KCP&L wants more control of your life. The new device would allow them to remotely turn the heat down at your house . . . Presumably, the gadget would cut the heat every time you considered voting for a candidate who supports tighter regulations in the energy sector.

Joy Luck

Jen Chen of The Pitch keeps it classy as she documents "Camel Toe" at Harrah's Lucky Break.

Suburbs = Scared White People

A Black guy in Olathe tries to open a few car doors and citizens and authorities panic. I'm sure the guy might very well have been dangerous but this kind of thing happens every day in KC proper and it's no big deal unless somebody ends up dead . . . and then it's simply another statistic.

Man Shot In Head In West Bottoms

Normally, I've heard that the words "head" and "shot" in the West Bottoms entail a happy ending. (Ewwww) Not so in this case.

FBI probes southern Missouri truck driving school

Is Osama lurking in the Show-Me State or is this simply another way to keep weak minded people scared?

After all, you're far more likely to die at the hands of a sleeping truck driver than a sleeper cell.

Lenexa's Mayor Points Out Tremendous Growth

In the "industry" we call it an "enhancement" and I guess it's cool that things are going good for those suburban dicks.

New Blog: Kinetic Elements II

This local blogger is returning to the local scene after an absence that was too long. Look for some great posts on the personal, political and the status of his professional career.

"Political party committees in Missouri function like chop shops, stripping the true identities of campaign contributions."

"Money was exchanged. New policy was announced."

An interesting article from The Pitch that clearly demonstrates once again that Democracy is up for sale and probably on special at Wal-Mart. The story concentrates on examples of Republican "fundraising" but rest assured that the Dems have their hands out (or a tight grip on their ankles) in order to get donations.

"Baby Come Back"

I know this is out of the ordinary but I don't really trust women with children. Men can do everything else better than women (except cleaning) so I don't think raising children should be an exception.

Women are horrible at keeping track of children and they often can't make up their mind when it comes to bringing up kids. In the end, I have to admit my cultural bias: I would only trust a Latina or Asian woman with my kids because I would want my child to enjoy tacos and in the latter instance it'd be nice if my kid was good at math.

Another case of a desperate old lady looking for love?

The story of young convict John Maynard (26) and dog trainer Toby Young (48) could possibly be the best May/December romance since Ashton and Demi. Recent reports indicate that the couple is not only on the run but also armed and carrying about ten thousand dollars in cash.

While prison breaks are dangerous this one also has the benefit of being hilarious because it clearly demonstrates the extremely poor judgment of an older woman looking for love. Yes, there has been some speculation that Maynard kidnapped Young but that's pretty much wishful thinking on the part of friends and family. I'm speculating that this is a jail break on par with Thelma and Louise only with people who aren't nearly as attractive . . . and that's saying something because my Grandma is hotter than Susan Sarandon and she's in her 80's. Additionally, where in the hell did this couple think they were gonna go? 10k isn't exactly a lot of money and such an odd pairing is bound to raise suspicions of not only crime watchers but also people looking to book guests on daytime talk shows that give older women false hope of finding romance.

Strangely, I've seen this situation play out over and over again in similar (but less dangerous) situations. It's no secret that many older woman can score a younger guy if they are willing to pay his bills, provide food and shelter and look the other way when the guy inevitably screws around. It's a very sad but common situation among women with low self-esteem who pretty much take on the role of mother to a manchild but with the added benefits of beatings and the risk of catching an STD.

Hopefully, all of this drama will end without anybody killed . . . only humiliated. Upon returning to jail, Maynard will no doubt face the ridicule of his prison mates because even though they have been denied the company of women I'm sure most of them would rather wade through a sewer like that guy in Shawshank rather than get it on with the dog training lady. And, with a bit of luck, Young will only get a slap on the wrist for possibly aiding and abetting a prison break and she will subsequently get to go back to her husband and family which is probably just as bad as any prison sentence.

BlogKC: "Stadium F.U.D."

The marketing push for the Truman Sports Complex renovation is underway. BlogKC has the details and links as he notes that the campaign seems to be based on "Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt."

Bumfight

This local postman provides tips on how to stop violence in the streets without getting yourself killed in the process. Unfortunately, the TKC method of yelling "Fight! Fight!" and jumping up and down while raising a fist in the air isn't mentioned. Also, having a bag of popcorn and a folding chair on hand isn't a pro-active approach for peace in the hood either.

Finally, the guy advises to take a photo of the violence with your cell phone cam or any camera that you keep handy so that you'll have information to provide police and something to laugh about later when nobody is looking.

Blogger Backtalk: But what do you really think?

These local bloggers share their thoughts, wit and wisdom along with a few great photos and a sure fire way to guarantee your kids will need counseling.

• Local blogger Brad has more fun than you. Here's a reminder.


• Local blogger Scooter provides great examples of how to scare children. The techniques are creative and funny and far more clever than simply shouting: "I'm enrolling you in a KCMO public school!"


• Local blogger Mac offers 15 interesting people with websites. You're ex-girlfriend and her "interesting" site doesn't count because people really shouldn't be doing that with horses.


• This local blogger says so long to Bob Stringfield whose fighting and office hopping have recently made him look like an out of control teenager.

Town Topics: Losing Gracefully

Life is give and take. You win some, you lose some. But through it all just remember one thing: "I love you man" and other clichés as well.

• You're dead to me: Unclaimed bodies at the City Morgue.


• Sometimes local business news makes me laugh: Panus fills opening.


• The best insurance against a bad wedding is not to have one. Or, at least be sure that you're marrying for money.


• Quin Snyder's Farewell Address, like his coaching, was fun to watch but ultimately ended in defeat.


• Lenexa Police Participate in Special Traffic Enforcement Program. Since "Operation: Keep the darkies off our streets" seems to have worked according to plan.

In or Out?

A former Shawnee Mission East volleyball coach has been accused of having sex with minors. The guy's lawyer said a young woman that his client was involved with was at least 18 when they hooked up but did not address accusations of improprieties with younger girls. Authorities will decide whether the play was in or out of bounds while somehow I think that parents of young, attractive white girls must never get any sleep at all. That's why, I'm adopting a 19 year-old Thai girl who knows how to do laundry and keep her mouth shut.

McCapped

A shooting victim drove to the Golden Arches last night. I'm only guessing that he had to pull up and wait for his special order. Luckily, the fries work as a great coagulant.

The end of an empire: Shields quits

Yesterday, Jackson County Executive Katheryn Shields called it quits and officially announced that she won't seek a 4th term. There are rumors she might be running for Mayor if the Chiefs aren't looking for another offensive lineman that can also look out for their financial interests. I think she just wants to lay back, chill and look at Han Solo frozen in Carbonite in her living room.

In a somewhat surprising move, Shields threw her substantial weight behind state Sen. Charles Wheeler.



Doc Wheeler is 79 years old. When my Grandpa turned that age we didn't let him have the remote anymore. The guy is a KC Institution and he seems to be in good shape. I'm simply guessing that his longevity and great reputation in the local political sphere is due to his mastery of the dark side of the force and his ability to control weak minded people . . . I could be wrong.



Mike Sanders, who is running for Jackson County Executive did not release a statement regarding the announcement but rumor has it that cries of "Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance!" and German techno music could be heard through the halls of the County Courthouse. (And no, this joke never gets old for me. Thank you very much. Fucker.)

Is It Worth It For KC To Host Super Bowl?

Mark it on your calendar folks, this is the first local news story that dares to raise a question about the rolling roof ripoff.

Many thanks to the tipster who sent this but I'm not sure if he wanted a link.

Military spouses band together

For something greater than Ladies Night Out.

"It's gangster night at Joshua's!"

The staff at a local Kansas City nightclub quit in protest after a co-worker was shot. Typically, the new hip-hop format brought in cash and carnage. Whereas most rap music is safely confined to the headphones of white kids who hate their parents, whenever you play the music in public there is bound to be some kind of gunplay. So I guess you could say that hip-hop is a good business . . . if your business is contributing to death and collecting profits and you aren't qualified enough to work at a tobacco company.

Kansas City Superintendent to Lead Michigan District

Into oblivion.

Study: KC ranks fifth for overextended sports markets

"But the hard truth is that the city has already lost teams in both of those leagues, and rumors have the (Kansas City) Wizards ticketed for departure, too. The outlook isn't much sunnier for the Royals, who drew fewer fans than every MLB team but Tampa Bay in 2005."

The study said that the Kansas City area's total personal income is $77.4 billion and that its income shortfall, or the additional amount needed to support its existing pro teams, is $60.9 billion.

If I never hear the words "Major League City" again it'll be too soon.

Stringfield Moves Out Of Courthouse Offices

A slap fight and then somebody moves out, if Jackson County politics were any more ghey their meetings would held in a public restroom.

However, I wonder what the move looked like . . . lots of wind chimes and Enya records I'm sure.

I keeeeeed, I keeeeeed. Stringfield and the rest of the Jackson County politicos don't enough style or charisma to be ghey and I'm sure nobody wants to see them in a tank top either.

Man Stabbed At Downtown Park

KC Condo and loft real estate market continues to be killer.

Don't hate the playa, hate the ghey

The Whole Wheat Blogger posts some interesting thoughts regarding those organizations that seek to cure people of their homosexuality and the hostility they have created.

There are a lot of people who struggle with homosexual feelings that they don't want. What answers does the pro-gay crowd offer them? Psychological counseling, perhaps, to help them accept who they are, even if they hate it? If groups like the NGLTF had their way, there would be no options for people with unwanted homosexual feelings.

That's a valid point. If there are people who don't want to be homosexual then there ought to be some place they can go to combat those feelings other than San Francisco. And as far as unwanted homosexual feelings, I've struggled with those myself but then I just simply told my priest to back off because I'm all about the bitches.

This is part of the same argument that has been effectively used against loopy liberals. They (liberals/dirty hippies) promote tolerance until you disagree with them. Their celebration of cultural diversity overlooks the oppressive and brutal traditions of Islam and hip-hop just to name a couple. That's why I don't discuss politics with the white women I date . . . Mainly because I know that no matter what end of the political spectrum she falls under there is no doubt some kind of intolerance for Mexicans AND it's hard to understand a woman with her face jammed into a pillow.

Old and Busted

Lawrence blog "Thoughts from Kansas" shares some insight into the Taff case:

Taff used campaign funds as collateral for a loan on a home he couldn't afford. There's something allegorical about that. Dennis Moore, like the Democratic Party, is fighting to cut deficits, while Taff, and the Republican Party, are spending money they don't have and taking it from their supporters.

And while I agree that Taff's story is strikingly similar to many JoCo scumbags living beyond their means I don't think Moore is much better. His limp opposition to the War in Iraq and tap dancing with the chronically corrupt Rev. Cleaver provides reason enough not to like him. Additionally, his greatest achievement as a Congressman seems to be getting re-elected.

While I have no argument that JoCo is corrupt and slimy, I'd like to add impotent and ineffectual to the list as well. Clearly, no matter how you vote there is someone equally offensive on either side of the party lines. By the way, Kris Kobach is still a dirtbag.

By any other name

In this BRILLIANT post a local blogger provides a variety of different names that the KC Brigade could have chosen.

Seriously funny stuff, in fact, much more funny that pro sports in KC and without the requisite beating of a bar skank or hundreds of millions in public funding. Good clean fun, go read right now.

Lance is looking to kill you

After a battle with cancer and Sheryl Crow you might have expected Lance Armstrong to be a little bitter. Well, he's currently using his death ray in order to torment passersby. Local blogger Heidi provides the proof.

"Valentine Carnage"

This report from the front line makes me not want to leave the house today. Which actually isn't that different from most days.

Sex Fair at UMKC!!!!!!!

I don't have enough exclamation points for this one, local blogger Dan serves up the best scoop this year in the local blogosphere.

Valentine's Day at Death's Door

This local blogger explains the holiday which has a lot to do with Roman tyranny and torture which is only slightly more cruel than the pain you might experience today at the hands of florists and other merchants.

"I will, in the end, own UMKC."

This local blogger battles against school policy and health problems but remains optimistic. Read this post and remember that the most important piece of paper that you'll get from college is a receipt.

Local Artists are Crybabies

When the city figures out what to do about the murder rate or the potholes or the infestation of developers or sports teams demanding millions then I might care about local artists but until then they are simply just another variety of spoiled white children in my mind.

Recently, a few local artists have expressed their frustration with the city's public art program. BlogKC documents the complaints thoroughly and suggests that keeping local hippies happy is far more important than the city honoring its commitment toward minority participation in local construction projects. It's all about priorities I guess. Without a dozen or so local artists doodling and acting pretentious than the rest of the white people in this town might be forced to admit that they're living in a cowtown that is becoming increasingly populated by the darkies. The art scene in Kansas City paints a pretty picture that KC is a cultured town rather than pointing out the fact that nearly every white person in this city is merely one or (at most) two generations removed from jug bands and ho-downs (and meth) and I guess you could think of that as a public service or at least good PR.

Putting yourself in the Mindset of a Champion

Ugh, if it hasn't been obvious I've been in a bit of a blogger slump lately. But, because I'm not a woman with a uterus I can control my emotional and psychological state and come back like a champ. Or, it'll just be more of the same mindless prattle. You may not notice in either case.

One way or another, we all work for Wal-Mart

Despite a nice little settlement, Quin Snyder is forced to find a new job. Fortunately, I'm pretty sure this means an end to Wal-Mart's tyranny because Snyder is just about the worst thing for any successful franchise.

Many thanks to the Hip Suburban White Guy for sending this my way.

We've got spirit

Because I'm a minority, I think I have a different take on spirituality. If you read Stephen King's work or watch the movies made from his books you'll realize that all non-whites are more in touch with the spirit world than their pasty counterparts. I believe the correct term is "Magical Black People" when referring to almost every dark skin character in King's oeuvre. Similarly, the same can be said of other minorities with Asians having lots of Ancient Chinese Secrets and even the Indians working at Quickie Marts are somehow able to draw on the otherworldly advice of Gandhi and Tupac Deepak Chopra. And yes, Mexicans are all about the Day of the Dead and other strange, paranoid and primitive beliefs.

Because I grew up Catholic, I had a propensity to believe shit that just wasn't likely and nobody thought less of me. Devotion to a Pagan goddess disguised as the mother of the Big JC was almost expected. Additionally, my childhood was full of ghost stories and superstitious dialogue. I had a cousin who swears that she saw a vision of her own death by merely splashing water on her face and screaming "Bloody Mary" into a mirror. She said the mirror foretold her dying in a car accident which is kind of a let down if you think about it.

I've often contended that many minorities are raised to think about the next world when white people are busy ruling this one. Harsh, maybe or maybe it's just wishful thinking. All of the folklore surrounding the great beyond seems to indicate that it's a place where justice is metered out. That seems to suggest that there will be a lot of white people locked up, broke, without political representation and working for pennies a day in the sweet hereafter. Again, wishful thinking. While I'm sure that God is a big, fat Jamaican woman with a lovely gap toothed smile . . . From all that I've seen, Jesus is white and he looks like Ted Nugent's older brother.

However, all of these thoughts are really just my speculation about the paranormal and the unlikely. There is a local group of supernatural sleuths who are hard at work trying to find the answer to the Big Question in places that supporters of ID are, as of yet, still scared to tread:

Ghost Vigil provides a comprehensive approach to paranormal investigations. Using historical research, thorough witness interviews, the latest sensor and photographic technology, and investigative patience, our investigators seek to understand the nature of the reported paranormal activity, as well as the causes. Our mission is to gather evidence, whether that evidence points to a natural or paranormal cause, because our only purpose is to find the truth. Our services are always free-of-charge.

And that's cool that the good folks at Ghost Vigil aren't trying to make any money off of the false hope of naive people . . . because I'm pretty sure the Democrat fundraising machine wouldn't want anybody muscling in on their territory.

Manglesdorf Changes Plea In Harmon's Death

I haven't really followed this case but I'll simply add it to my list of reasons not to trust middle class white people.

Warrant Issued In Connection With Prison Escape

In connection with today's earlier post about Greg Reeves favorite white prisoner. Love is in the air as this con steals away with his sweetie and a bunch of dogs. Almost sounds like a Disney movie but way more interesting.

Former Congressional Candidate Sentenced to 15 Months

And this was the "nice guy" in the last JoCo campaign. I still like him more than Kobach. More later . . .

Bruce Watkins Highway Killing

As if the traffic on that street isn't deadly enough.

"Why is teppanyaki such a phenomenon in Kansas City?"

I have no idea but local blogger Faith answers all your questions on the subject whereas Sushi makes me uncomfortable for some strange reason.

Get back to work . . . Lance is watching

Local blogger Heidi has a great take on the Lance Armstrong advertising campaign.

Children With Down Syndrome Increasingly Sought For Adoption

This inspiring story profiles an area couple who adopted a kid with Down Syndrome. Here is a link to the Down Syndrome Guild of Greater Kansas City which does equally inspiring work every day. Now I must pull myself away from my keyboard before I write something really mean and stupid and guaranteed to fuck with my Karma . . . must stop typing . . . not appropriate for joking . . . don't write that you love those crazy bastards as well . . . stop typing now . . .!!!

Only white criminals have feelings OR A love letter from Greg Reeves

Because Greg Reeves is most likely the biggest douche bag in the local blogosphere I religiously follow his writing. While minorities and mainly Black people only rate a witty one liner and a scary mug shot on his blog . . . a recently escaped con gets a love letter just in time for Valentine's Day.

I don't think I've ever seen a photo of a Black local thug with his pet on Greg's blog but I'm pretty sure I'd remember if I did. I'm also sure that Greg's defense would be something like "Well, that's the only interview the institutions offered" which makes sense until you realize that prisons are pretty much racist institutions in and of themselves or at least they're guilty of enforcing a systemic racism that keeps more darkies locked up in this country than in any other nation on the face of the planet. Additionally, I hear they're not that nice to poor whites either but at least they've got Meth to help them make it through the day.

But then again, I'm not gonna go out and volunteer to interview a minority inmate and talk about their feelings. I never wanted to pursue a life of crime and this, thankfully, keeps me away from dirtbag criminals, crime reporters and prison officials.

Brigade bomb at home opener

Like the other pro sports teams in town, KC's arena football franchise loses in front of an enthusiastic crowd.

And this makes me think that the stealth bomber really isn't the best logo for the team. If only because stealth bombers normally face off against defenseless women and children while KC is looking at competition that's a little bit tougher.

Abandon all hope

If you don't have money for a loft or condo, there are plenty of abandoned houses on the East Side that completely empty and awaiting tenants other than crack addicts and rats.

An estimated 5,000 vacant and deteriorating houses whose absentee owners can’t or won’t maintain them. While the problem has been dwarfed by the downtown’s resurgence, city officials say it is one of the biggest obstacles to the inner city’s revival.

If you were playing a Kansas City version of Monopoly these abandoned East Side houses are akin to the worthless blue lots after Go. The city is the only group dumb enough to make an investment in this area. Predictably, the only deposit in connection with the land East of Troost is not in a bank but rather a series of dead hookers deposited in the nearby vacant lots. So, nobody expects to make a killing on the East side unless, of course, they are talking about going out and actually killing someone.

Anti-Valentine's Day Sentiment

For people without love or a sense of humor.

You know how to spell it Motherfucker!

Recently, The New York Times referenced KC's murder rate in an article on the subject of nationwide homicide trends. Apparently, people with low self-esteem and small penises are very volatile if they aren't paid the proper amount of respect. Kansas City's top cop attests:

Chief Corwin of Kansas City said that in the hardest-hit neighborhoods, people had explained it as a "lack of hope." "If I don't have skills, I don't have training, my socioeconomic situation looks desperate, do I really have hope?" he said. "I think that ties into the anger. If the only thing I have is my respect, that's what I carry on the street. If someone disrespects me, they've done the ultimate to me."

This is ground breaking news because it clearly demonstrates that Black guys don't have the biggest dicks given that the behavior described above can only be attributed to small peni. Because sometimes I actually take the time to listen to women (for five minutes after an orgasm), I've heard that Chinese guys are actually endowed with the largest wangs but don't like to brag about it. This not only explains their large population but also provides an explanation of why a grown man would drive a Honda Civic hatchback.

As far as "respect" is concerned, I think Corwin is closer to the mark when he mentions money . . . people without money are pissed and ready to kill for nothing and people with money obviously have something to lose. In my opinion this is reflected in the completely corrupt and worthless culture of mainstream cRap music that has been adopted by so many poor Blacks and whites along with rich white kids who have money for counseling. However, I won't go as far as to say that cRap music is why so many Black people in this city have killed each other at a record pace but I will note that it has provided the soundtrack. Also, somebody may want look into the fact that illegal guns are as prevalent as chewing gum in this country . . . but I'm not trying to solve the city's problems on this page, I'm merely making jokes . . . like this city's PR inspired solution to this problem.

"The Silence is killing us"

Ugh. That's the trouble with politicians, they think that a press release will solve everything.

Many thanks to local blog "Happy in Bag" for the link.

Alonzo Washington on Americas Most Wanted

Unfortunately, it's not what you think. I guess the guy's heart is in the right place and the only crime he would ever commit is stealing the microphone away from Alvin Brooks which really isn't a crime at all.

Washington made an appearance on the favorite program of former law enforcement officers and old ladies in order to promote his "Start Snitching" campaign and the accompanying gear which is for a good cause and great for the community but will never be as cool or relevant as its opposition. Very much like that answer book to "He's just not that into you" or John Kerry.

Local blogger Parrish has a new look

And he went and got himself a new domain as well. The local comic artist has switched to LiveJournal and now his page not only loads hella fast but looks even better. See for yourself.

C'mon, everybody else is doing it.

Normally, I never post on Sundays but today The Star has decided to run an editorial so disgusting and misleading that I'm forced to take a break from not going to Church. In their most recent bit of propaganda on behalf of Lamar Hunt and David Glass the Star is relying on peer pressure to convince the people of Jackson County to fork over almost a billion dollars in order to keep KC's mediocre teams.

The plan to upgrade the Truman Sports Complex comes with a pricetag of $575 million. That's a reasonable deal for Jackson Countians, especially compared with what other people around the country have spent since 1990 on new major-league baseball and football stadiums.

And then they go on to plug the antiquated garage door/sun roof/monstrosity in question:

Of course, if Jackson County voters also approve a rolling roof on April 4, the cost of completely overhauling the sports complex could rise to an estimated $775 million.

Yet even that number would only bump the Kansas City metropolitan area up to the middle of the chart when it comes to total costs for stadium construction. The only other cities with two roofed stadiums - Phoenix and Houston - still would have paid more for their facilities.

Never mind that several studies have shown that huge investments in sports teams don't pay off for anybody but the players and owners. Additionally, The Star isn't taking into account that other areas approved regional taxes (remember Bi-State II?) and didn't stick one broke ass county with the bill for a regional attraction. For instance, both the Jets and Giants play in New Jersey not New York. In fact, most stadiums for NFL teams are located in suburbs of their namesakes and public funding for the teams comes from several surrounding tax bases. Alternately, The Star is suggesting that people of Jackson County pick up the bill for Johnson County fans in exchange for discounts on hot dogs and the half dozen or so season tickets available.

The title of their current PR campaign is "Staying in the Big Leagues" and the slanted coverage is yet another example of corporate cronyism in KC. For the paper of record in this town to actively campaign on behalf of all the blonde beating, bar fighting and substance abusing pro athletes in this town is disgusting.

The fact that The Star relies on flawed logic and misleading examples is proof that they given up any form of objectivity in one of the most expensive issues to come before voters in Jackson County and they are simply shilling in return for press boxes, better access and God knows what else.

So, while The Star, the County and other boosters offer up a few lame excuses and half truths in order to sway you . . . Remember that there are a half a billion reasons to vote no.

Many Thanks

I don't know if this weak ass flurry counts as winter but out on the streets dumbass people who forget that they live in the Midwest are sliding all over the road. Be careful out there. As always, thanks for reading and have a fun and safe Saturday night.

Rum Runners closes

After two murders last year, this embattled Merriam bar turns out the lights. Other bar owners should think about better two for one specials.

"Bus Fares Up, Riders talk"

From KC Currents: Basic bus fare in Kansas City went up a quarter, to a dollar twenty-five. Express route fares increased to 2 dollars and 50 cents and reduced fares went up from 50 to 60 cents. A bunch of man on the street interviews . . . Predictably, the average man on the street is broke.

Farmers' Market is opening this summer on 39th Street

For you suckers who eat vegetables.

"Love in 8 Minutes"

Cute story from local entertainment mag "The X" but I have to admit the title outpaces me by about 7 minutes and 15 seconds.

Annexation of KC Schools within Independence City Limits

KC Talk hosts a great thread with lots of politically incorrect opinions from white people that you won't read in the local main stream media.

Talent supports new form of stem cell research

Growing embryos off a moldy set of flip-flops maybe?

Prosecutors can seek death penalty in girl's slaying

Life is precious unless you're the perpetrator of a high profile murder.

Downtown Parking Problems?

The Brigade home game, The Metropolitan Lawn and Garden show and Motocross will bring a huge number of white people and their SUV's to downtown this weekend. There will be a premium on parking. However, on the bright side, all of the homeless people roaming around will enjoy the company.

Poison Has Use in Saving Lives

And marriages.

Burglars Target Victims Through Family Obituaries

OR Cold blooded crook assures place in hell OR This is also a good way to search for great deals on real estate.

Update: Two Northland men have been charged in the series of home burglaries.

One more Catholic Coverup

In order to prepare their students for the real world Avila University, a local Catholic College, has removed the student newspaper (The Talon) from campus due to articles about premarital sex and birth control. Here is their excuse:

Administrators with the small Catholic university confirmed they removed the newspapers and issued a statement: "The newspaper is an institution-sponsored publication. After careful consideration, the publication was removed from circulation because it was inconsistent with the values of the institution."

Fine, but as a (bad) Catholic one of the things that troubles me is the propensity of the Church and Church officials to keep their priests important issues in the closet. It seems that coverups and ignoring all dissent have become an integral part of the catechism. And as far as American Catholics playing the pious role of a shrinking violet . . . one sex scandal after the next, abortion debates and the complete de facto rejection of Catholic Doctrine regarding birth control has proven that the Catholics in this country have had more than their fair share of experience when it comes to discussing sex.

Think fast hotshot

A quick quiz from Lawrence blog Red Letter Day.