Saturday, April 17, 2021

Kansas City Marathon Comeback 2021

Celebrate the return of local inconvenience and streets blocked off to make way for suburbanites running from their quiet lives of desperation.

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Garmin Marathon to return in October 2021

KNASAS CITY, MO (KCTV) --- The Garmin Marathon is back in 2021. The marathon was one of several events in Kansas City canceled due to the COVID-19 pandemic. This year, runners will be allowed to participate in person at a new course, which starts and ends at The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I’ve heard that Wrecks Archer conferred with Fauci and this is their recommendation on the race... top 10:

1. Triple masks
2. Testing before during and after the race.
3. Social Distancing... no passing other runners.
4. Retesting is a runner stops for water
5. No volunteers writhing 6’ of runners. This can vary during the race as more info is provided
6. A special tax will be collected at the end of race to help pay for KC homeless hotels in other cities
7. A finishers medal will be included that has the new KC logo- hands out (accepting Fed money).
8. Special edition KC Star papers handed out. 99% advertising and the only 1% will be the weather forecast for the day
9. Special token for pot hole filling preferential treatment. Can be used after the year 2025
10. Special ballet award. Can be used to increase voting rights on future trolley taxes to build new routes to other meaningless destinations

Anonymous said...

+++100