Friday, December 18, 2020

The Onion Jokes AMC's Inevitable Demise

A corporation that employs a great many locals confronts a death spiral. Thankfully, the nation's parody resource of record devises a bawdy promotional pitch . . . Read more:

Desperate AMC Touts Theaters As Nice Dark Places For Teens . . .

LEAWOOD, KS-In an attempt to boost ticket sales by reminding young patrons of the unique benefits offered by cinema, the increasingly desperate movie chain AMC Theaters rolled out a new marketing campaign Thursday that touted its venues as nice dark places for teens . . .

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

All the rich people behind the plandemic have home theaters.

Anonymous said...

^^OK Boomer. Hurry up and die.

Anonymous said...

They’re owned by the creators of the China virus so.....

Anonymous said...

I ran several of Boomer Hater/Geezer/Pops/Geriatric Fu*ktard/Old People/Weird/CHUD boy's comments through an online age detection app for written materials and it showed in the results that he is only 10 years old. You can tell his age by his lack of writing skills and his frequent temper tantrums. I'm guessing he dropped out of elementary school and his mother doesn't know what to do with him, especially when he continues to wet the bed and fill his diaper. For his welfare, we’ve started a GoFundMe page titled “Save the 10-Year-Old Bed-Wetting Dumbass."

Alpinista said...

^^Liar