Thursday, July 30, 2020

RESOLVED: BRITTANY MATTHEWS IS THE FIRST LADY OF KANSAS CITY!!!



This morning we share a not-so-fun fact and something more interesting than the promotional faux controversy about a meaningless NFL listicle . .

A long, long time ago Kansas City had a mayor who let his wife meddle in his office. She ran around with bare feet and managed to single-handedly destroy an otherwise promising career.  Her book is on Amazon and it omits nearly every interesting detail from her quick moment in the public spotlight that has now been almost completely forgotten. One factoid worth remembering: In an attempt to save her job, the former Mayor's wife billed herself as "Kansas City's First Lady" . . . The title didn't take but the idea persists.

NOW . . .

Kansas City Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes enjoys this town's pathological hero worship that has ruined nearly every decent athlete to reside in this cowtown. Don't believe TKC??? Codependent KC fandom transformed Hall Of Fame hitter George Brett into a guy who relentlessly bothers other people about his poops.

Still . . .

We don't begrudge Money Mahomes his cash or the love of the public. In fact, there's more than enough admiration to around.

Accordingly and given that our mayor is "an avowed bachelor" with no plans to marry any time soon . . .

It is decided . . .

BRITTANY MATTHEWS IS NOW "THE FIRST LADY OF KANSAS CITY" UNTIL THE CHIEFS FIRST PLAYOFF LOSS OR HER INEVITABLE AND UPCOMING SPLIT WITH MAHOMES!!!

Don't be a rube, trades are a part of sports.

The mileage may vary but one or the other tragedy is pretty much guaranteed given that pro-sports is remarkably and universally cruel to women. And so we merely offer this humble gesture to secure Brit's place in local history given that her future billionaire beau hasn't bothered to put a ring on it despite all of the tawdry public canoodling.

Further reading:

Inq: Patrick Mahomes’ Girlfriend Brittany Matthews Flashes Her Booty While Giving Him A Kiss

AGO: 7 Interesting Facts About Patrick Mahomes’ Girlfriend Brittany Matthews

NY POST: Brittany Matthews calls out trolls after Patrick Mahomes kissing post

Developing . . .

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is dumb and mean.

Love it.

Not A Fan of Either said...

Just another media slut hanging on to her boyfriends fame. This slut do know how to ride those coat tails.

Your gay son loves you said...

^^

Don't be so hard on your mom. She did her best.

Anonymous said...

Women hating homosexual trolls comments.

Anonymous said...

^^^^^^^^And decent women don't flaunt their bodies all over the internet either. So yes calling her a slut is rather fitting

Anonymous said...

^^well you don't Maude because NOBODY wants to see that shit!!!!! You hate her casue you ain't her!

Anonymous said...

She is just a bauble in Patty-cakes toy collection.
With his money, the women that will appear at his door will make her look like a second-string high school cheerleader.

Anonymous said...

Our mayor is “an avowed bachelor”? He just hasn’t found the right guy yet.

Anonymous said...

^^We'll your husband has so there's hope I guess.

Anonymous said...

Just another mud Shark.

Anonymous said...

God Bless Brittany & Patrick and protect them from envious and unfulfilled people who aren't willing to invest and fulfilling their goal of being an accomplished.

Anonymous said...

Athlete.

Anonymous said...

these comments are all "I hate him cuz I ain't him".

Anonymous said...

^^^^^^ I have a nice house, a boat down at the lake where our cabin is and my wife doesn't post pictures like that of herself on the internet and dude let me tell you she is better looking than this skank is.

Anonymous said...

Nope she is not. She is nothing but an accessory that attached to someone that also means nothing to me. Sports means nothing except to no life people that need a Hero. Mchomeboy will leave kc hated and blamed for loses. Negrodamus told me via his Crystal ball.

Anonymous said...

You mean “Karen” Matthews, don’t you?

Anonymous said...

That ain’t no lady. That is Pat “Mo’ money!” Mahomes white hoe.

Anonymous said...


Don't you ever call this slit tail hooker Kansas City's first lady. She is trash, and we want her and Mahomes out of our city.

BTW Boycott Helzberg. After BLM ripped their store apart they are using Mahomes as their spokes person on their web page. How stupid is that to have BLM tear up your business and then use the person who supports BLM speak for you. Help put this business down for good they are Anti American traitors.

Anonymous said...

WHY would Mahomes now place half his net worth at risk by marrying Matthews?

The story goes they've been together since high school. She's slightly older.

If he hasn't married her by this point, it's not going to happen. Professional athletes are notorious philanderers.

Anonymous said...

@8:53AM Mahomes and his lady can stay. They provide value. You on the other hand provide nothing, and just take. We need more of them and none of you. Please move or die. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

@8:24-Liar. Then why are you on here wasting your time instead of being at the lake or fucking your wife? It's because you don't have either, and are another of the vast, lonely, broken, busted, bitter, geriatric fucktards who waste their days away on here hating what they don't have. We see you. We hate you.

Anonymous said...

Patrick would be wise to marry Brittany. They are high school sweethearts; dating long before thoughts of a $480 million contract; so it is true love.

On the other hand, there will be a lot of unscrupulous women after his $480 million that he should stay away from as they will subsequently divorce him and take $240 million.

Anonymous said...

C'mon 8:24....that's great and all but the girl has a shit ton of Instagram followers and is dating, arguably, the best player in the NFL. So yeah, she's gonna post a bit more than your wife.

Anonymous said...

girls just wanna have fun.

so let 'em.

Anonymous said...

I love Kansas City. Best little no-class town in Flyover Country.

Anonymous said...

^^says you, and you're here. You have no taste.

Anonymous said...

11:03 that she may but if that was your daughter would it make you proud to see her whoring her life like that? So dating a player in a league full of wife beaters and a few kids along the way is an excuse to appear like your someones paid for whore?

Oh you know she has wanted to get married many a time and his daddy is saying, "Boy you play with women like that you don't marry them." She's just another version of a Pamela Anderson. Something you fuck and hang with but never take home to mom. I mean come on would you like seeing your mom splashed all over Instagram like that with thousands of swinging dicks drooling over it while jacking off. Creeps like the Weird guy and Byron jerking the gherkin and cumming all over your mom or girlfriend pics.

Anonymous said...

cut them some slack, please.

as to their future, there are lots of happily married couples where they were wild when young. they are young.

--ok boomer

Anonymous said...

Kansas City already has a First Lady.
I will leave it at that.

Westprot Dooder said...

She seems nice. I will date her when Patty is finished.

Anonymous said...

My sister and brother in law lived three doors down from Saberhagen in Leawood South. From what they said was people and party like stuff going on there all the time. Only time it was quite was when Bret was out for road games. His ole lady was stuck home caring for the kids. Mahomes lives in a more snobby neighborhood. Why he parties out of town all the time.

Retro ROCKER said...

George Clooney did not marry until he was in His 50s,She may be waiting a long time. Money is for nothing if the Chick's for Free. He will not be distracted by marriage He is Married to a Business and Football .Remember what happened to Buffy the high maintenance drama queen. YOU

Anonymous said...

If Patrick doesnt marry her I will. Brittany - please marry me. I am wealthy also!