Wednesday, May 06, 2020

TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! DID ROCK CHALK TRUST FUND BABY BORTNICK SWAGGER JACK CORONAVIRUS PPE 'INVENTION' FROM YOUNGSTER CANUCK SCOUT?!?



I'm Tony's wasted life and I'm here to make powerful enemies because the pandemic proved that capitalism was just a practical joke played on the working poor by corporations taking more welfare than any trailer park big mama ever dreamed . . . More to the point, exceptional blogging is all about asking not-so-important pointed questions regarding my future boss.

To wit . . .

KICK-ASS TKC TIPSTERS CALL OUT A CELEBRATED ROCK CHALK "INVENTOR" EARNING SO MUCH LOCAL MEDIA LOVE FOR HIS STRANGELY FAMILIAR DEVICE THAT IS HELPING TO PROVIDE COMFORT DURING COVID-19 HARSH TIMES!!!

Tony's wasted life here again, and I feel like even though this dude is a celebrity college student this post is still "punching up" not only because TKC will be mopping this guy's floors one day not so far in the future but also because he's from a high profile local fam who likely own the mortgage on all my hipster neighbors.

Anyhoo . . .

Here's the story . . .

"This local college student named Gregory Bortnick (former Pembroke Hill LAX bro—I would assume he's from the real estate family) is getting absurd amounts of local press as the "inventor" of a strap that makes it so N95 masks don't hurt your ears. A local magazine in town called him "ingenious." He's been all over TV.

"The problem? This local prep school kid ain't invent sh*t.

"The device was actually designed by a 12-year-old Canadian boy scout who posted the 3D printer plan to the internet for free. Bortnick has sort of referred to finding a version online in a roundabout way while also saying things like used his "passion for design to develop a prototype" of this mask."

Here is the Canadian kid's mask holder:



.....and here is the mask from our "ingenious" "inventor":


###############

To be fair, the real story is that the rock chalk do gooder is giving away these nifty devices for free and doing his part to help frontline workers. Meanwhile, TKC did a Karate Kid bad guy "sweep the leg" move on some 75-year-old lady this morning as she was attempting to take the last package of oven roasted turkey. Don't worry, she'll be fine and I think it was my aunt.

The real point here is that Kansas City coronavirus human interest stories are mostly hot garbage that attempt to distract us from the reality that just about everyone and everything has come close to failing the American people during a crisis . . . And things could still get a lot worse.

Accordingly, we realize that kindness and a helping hand doesn't need to be original in much the same way that no good deed goes without blogger snark.

You decide . . .

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Funny shiz.

I think there's enough credit to go around.

Anonymous said...

Those 3d printing machines are pretty nifty. Bet that set the fam back quite a pretty penny.

Anonymous said...

The youngster scout deserves the credit as an inventor. Good for him!

Anonymous said...

any lax bro doing something for the community is a net plus

Anonymous said...

"Behind every great fortune, there is a great crime."

Anonymous said...

+1 on @1:52!

Anonymous said...

2:00, apparently the Obamas have amassed a fortune: one extremely expensive house in D.C. and another oceanfront dwelling in MA. What were their crimes?

Anonymous said...

^^When they finally get caught, then we will all know.
Their kind are willing dupes for very powerful, evil people. They served their masters well. When their masters have used them up, they will feed them to the wolves. Right now, they are still useful.

Byron Funkhouser said...

They wrote books & millions of people bought them.

Anonymous said...

^^^ that’s funny, good one bLIEron! You know as well as everybody else the payoffs for sweet heart deals Barry did while prez got him that money, the supposed “book deals” is where the money gets laundered.

Kansas Scout said...

GET SOME TONY!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Retard.

Anonymous said...

Obama and Biden were "brilliant" enough to hand the radical Muslim leaders in Iran millions of U.S. taxpayer dollars on pallets to placate them. Instead, Iran used the money to make more IEDs to kill and maim U.S. soldiers and to build up their nuclear aspirations. Obama also likely knew about all of the dishonest BS used by the FBI and other Deep Staters to take out Trump.

Anonymous said...

^^^OK Boomer.

Anonymous said...

tkc, negative stories about public figure malfeasance are great, but this is about a kid using kid mind processes (and trying to do something nice).

ok, a rich kid, but a kid.

Ed Ziffel said...

Getting creative is an excellent way to pass the time. I have many sores and lesions, so I go through a lot of gauze bandages. Using things just once just seems so wasteful, so I used egg dye left over from Easter and made colorful streamers out of them . I attached some of the brighter colored ones to my ceiling fan and when I switch it on the effect is simply dazzling.

Anonymous said...

That’s what rich people do, they steal other peoples ideas and make money. In this case this guy is using this as something to put on his resume for when he gets that ridiculously high paying job doing nothing when he gets out of school. It also gives the filthy rich people something to brag about at lavish parties, you know, look at me ain’t I great for doing that for the little people.

Anonymous said...

Pemboke kids are all little pussies. Because their dads are cuntholes.

Gr said...

Dude is a man in his 20s who stole from a 14 year old. Not cool.

Anonymous said...

He sexy!

Anonymous said...

4:52 If you want to blow me...all you have to do is ask. I like tea bagging millennials!

MDSF said...

..He'll make a good republifuck.....like frump.