Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Sobering Kansas City St. Patrick's Day



The bars & restaurants are shut down but stereo-typically horrible locals in the know already have orders of corned beef and cabbage takeout on the way. Moreover, most liquor stores are committed to staying open till kingdom come . . . Anything less would create a REAL panic from which this nation would never recover.

And so, this is a bittersweet holiday wherein locals will have to find something better to do than boozing . . .

HOW SHOULD KANSAS CITY CELEBRATE ST. PADDY'S DAY AMID COVID-19 CRACKDOWN?!?

This is just an honest question looking for ideas . . . Because social distancing prevents us from watching P.S. I Love You and spooning with our most dedicated readers . . . This year at least.


KELLY'S CLOSED!!!

Kelly's Westport Inn, Kansas City's most notable watering hole, closing because of COVID-19 outbreak

Kelly's Westport Inn, arguably Kansas City's most notable watering hole and one of the oldest buildings in the city, announced Monday that it was closing until further notice because of the COVID-19 outbreak.FULL LIST: Schools, universities cancel face-to-face classes due to coronavirus concernsFULL LIST: Large event closures in Kansas City area"We appreciate the support and understanding of our customers and staff," Kelly's said in a post on social media.


River Dancing Delayed

'Riverdance' Turns 25, But Has Put The Celebration On Hold - For Now

A few days before theaters were shut down due to concerns over the coronavirus pandemic, 6,000 people filled Radio City Music Hall for Riverdance, the Irish dance spectacle. The production, newly polished for its 25th anniversary, had been criss-crossing the nation, but now engagements have been postponed.


Irish These Movies Were Better

22 Irish Films to Watch on St. Patrick's Day

These cinematic gems sure beat packed pubs and green beer stains.


You decide . . .

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Pretty sure the protocol here is just getting drunk. Just like every other day you beautiful Irish bastards.

Anonymous said...

^^^ Lulz.

Racist.

And don't appropriate.

Anonymous said...

Haiku from Wuhan Wanda:

Here's my St Patrick's Day recipe:

Boil Rice.
Add five skinless mice.
Simmer mice and rice.
Add wing of bat.
Add ear of cat.
Fried Rice with mice.
Is juicy and nice.

Anonymous said...


I'm not Irish I'm Roman and I don't drink so I'm cooking a corned beef at home with some soda bread. Just thought I'd let everyone know.

Anonymous said...

Haiku from Wuhan Wanda:

St Patrick's Day love poem:

Love is in the air.
For fifty dolla.
Love you all night.
And make you holla.

Anonymous said...

Is the bar & restaurant closed to inside seating mandatory? What's the penalty if you don't close? Yank your license?

I did notice there is an exception for funerals. Might as well have those wakes and funerals at the bars and restaurants because a huge number of these businesses will die along with workers' livelihood.

Anonymous said...

The Quiet Man

Turning down a "little water" for his drink,

"When I drink whiskey, I drink whiskey; and when I drink water, I drink water."

Anonymous said...

NINA

Anonymous said...

Kelly's should really take this moment to clean their fucking tap lines. Brutal hangovers out of those bitches.