Wednesday, January 15, 2020
TKC MUST READ!!! CHUCK REVIEWS GWYNETH PALTROW'S SCENTED CANDLE!!!
I'm going to get out of the way and let Chuck's thoughtful pop culture post speak for itself because it's a fun alternative to a bevy of local crime links and broken political promises that are on the way . . .
Chuck: This Smells Like, WHAT!?!?!?
In what I am sure, everyone must agree, are the agurs and portents of the coming Apocalypse, Gwyneth Paltrow is selling a 'scented' candle that she claims (And I am certainly NO one to dispute it.) "Smells like her vagina". In fact, the candle is marketed accordingly under the name, "This Smells Like My Vagina". If ever, there was a lily to gild, this has got to be the one.
Have a seat, for just a second, before you read the next sentence.
It is sold out.
Yep, celebrity sells like no other product, no matter how you define down, "Product". Remember that playground bully who would run up to you and stick his finger under your nose and scream "Smell this!!!" That's right, he is now a visionary with a future and you, you moron, are wasting time on personal hygiene.
Next up for Gwyneth, the "Smell Of My Vagina Before I Douche".
Who knew that that week old tuna fish in your fridge, should have been out on your coffee table for special occasions?
We should have seen it coming. Gwyeth is a famous, high profile Hollywood liberal and liberal cities all over America are covered in feces, needles and the stench of effluence. Monetizing mephitic vapors for the masses was only a matter of time. After all, capitalism always wins out. SpaceX rides on a rocket are millions of dollars. We hoi polloi can't afford that. But my best guess, is, as the market provides more and more economy of scale opportunities, especially for "B" list actors, that you will be able to, for around $5,000.00, stick your finger up Pauly Shore's ass, wrap your hand in a paper bag and go home to impress your friends.
No doubt, Ben & Jerry's, famously liberal and famously outspoken will NOT be outclassed by Gwyneth. The guys need a shot at this new market! Ice Cream Dicks that are exact replicas of famous movie stars. The double fungible, double dip dick flavor of the month. A "Clooney Cream Stick" that even the guys will love shoving into their mouths.
Talk amongst yourselves about the possibilities for Hollywood stars to meld their "brand" with Oscar Meyer.
Gwyneth Paltrow portrayed the character, Emma Woodhouse in Jane Austin's book "Emma". Austin once said, that "Vanity in a weak head, is the source of much mischief".
You decide . . .