Friday, September 13, 2019
TKC MUST READ!!! CHUCK SHARES THE LOVE AND INTERRACIAL DATING ADVICE FOR 2020 AND BEYOND!!!
We all have relationship goals. TKC's favorite example comes from the world of zombie movies:
60+ Times "Richonne" Proved They Were the Apocalypse's Ultimate Power Couple
In that spirit and because we know that Friday night content is for lonely hearts.
This evening we feature a CONTROVERSIAL, PROVOCATIVE AND OFTEN HILARIOUS missive from TKC comment fave Chuck.
Whilst we may not agree with every word of it . . We know for certain that this tongue-in-cheek pop culture essay is a great read. It's the kind of alternative hot take MSM would NEVER publish but will still resonate with those who want to think outside of the bubble provided by the corproate media. Even better, readers paying close attention may notice that Chuck seems to agree with TKC inasmuch as the search for love can't be limited by demographics or other petty partisan concerns.
Enjoy . . .
Chuck: It's Friday Night Date Night. What are your options white boy?
Understanding the feminist Sturm Und Drang rhetoric we cisgender, "toxic males" are buffeted with on a daily basis can become confusing and in the end, we realize, that it is a forced exercise in self loathing that is now necessary for an introduction to any white female companionship. While the obvious intent of this nomenclature is to convey contempt and induce shame, after repeated forays into that shower of scorn, we emerge, still cisgender and pining for the "Good Old Days" when we opened doors for hot chicks, picked up the tab and produced baubles in hopes of carnal knowledge.
White Girls Hate You White Boy.
It's time to misceginate!
The advantages and benefits are there for those intrepid white warriors who can still, even after 3 generations of abuse, slight regard and actual legislation, can produce that coveted Alpha Male Pheremone in the clutch.
So, what's available? As I said, white chicks are out. The hottest chicks in the United States Of America are the Kardashians and they would rather make porno tapes with Jesse Smollett than be seen with George Clooney.
1) Middle-Eastern Chicks. Let's face it, they are overwhelming Europe, so what are the advantages for those Caucasians courageous enough to date under the Salafist Flag?
THE UPSIDE: Chicks of Middle-Eastern heritage, with the notable exception of Linda Sarsour, are submissive, obedient and acquiescent. Break out your copy of "Arabian Nights and hope for the best. Truthfully, there seems to be a paucity of information on the sexual prowess of Islamic chicks, but, hell, if they are too afraid to even walk beside you, how difficult could it be to talk them into impromtu intercourse in the back of the Chevy? Based on the videos of self flagellation in the streets at the drop of a hat, or a bomb, I gotta believe they will flog your dolphin as willingly as they will flog themselves.
THE DOWNSIDE: They wear burqas. You could literally be buying a "Pig In A Poke". There is no guarantee that after you get that veil off that you are not committed to a serious relationship with a chick who looks like Abe Vigoda.
BREAKING UP: Not a problem. You can trivialize her importance by acquiring new wives, or, if you want her gone and she complains, you can call her a slut and her brother will kill her.
2) Black Chicks. Get down with the swirl!!! Remember Halle Berry coming out of the water in "Die Another Day"? Some of my racist friends have told me they would blow Al Sharpton for an half hour with Halle Berry. Is Robin Thicke retarded?
THE UPSIDE: Total, metaphysical Street Cred. If you have a Background Picture of you and your black girlfriend/wife on your cell phone, you can eat at Nieces everyday during Black History Month for free. They told me that. Do you like sports? Your wife will be able to join you playing of course, basketball, but, also, boxing, tennis, golf and pretty much anything that requires high quality hand eye coordination. She will have a great job and will have no problem supporting you in your quest to pick up your PGA card. That takes time honey! At night, bring your "A" Game pal, it's gonna be a workout.
THE DOWNSIDE: Do you like sports? She never loses and your ego will take a brutal beating as she dunks on you, out drives you, hits HUGE topspin serves at 127 MPH and drops you in the first 10 seconds of the first round with a right hand lead. At night? If you don't bring the "A" game, it goes right off of the tracks. Have you seen those hot chicks on the Real Housewives Of Atlanta? They get into actual fist fights and you NEVAR see their husbands. I think they are in the hospital.
BREAKING UP: Move out of town and disappear like you are in Witness Protection. Your Black Wife is essentially a 1970's Las Vegas Capo Di Tutti Capi and there is a life long contract on your ass.
3) Latino Chicks. Now you're talking into my good ear. Cable TV is inundated with flaming hot Latino chicks and here in Kansas City I see them everywhere.
THE UPSIDE: Not only are they hot, have you EVAR met a Latino chick who couldn't cook her way through "Hell's Kitchen" in a coma? Latinos are constantly concerned with whether or not you have "eaten". Me personally, I gotta thing for Rosario Dawson. It's the "Horse face". I love the teeth, the smile, she reminds me of a Latino Carly Simon (More on her later). She is brilliant, beautiful and I can see her over a stove, smiling at me as she conjures up some Carne Bif in something skimpy.
THE DOWNSIDE: Huge families. If you have a problem with "In Laws" and interruptions in your day to day existence, too bad. Your outlook on life should include gatherings with scores of relatives for any and everything from Feliz Navidad and Cinco De Mayo, to Las Fiestas Patronales De Salvador. You skip that one and MS 13 shows up at your door with attitude.
BREAKING UP: Big problem. The extended family takes commitment seriously and you have probably been taking Communion every Sunday with Cartel members who already wonder why your the guy doing the neighborhood smoke-show.
4) Asians. Mesmerizing and mysterious, Asian chicks as a percentage of the Oriental population are more likely than not, to be breathtakingly beautiful. I should know, I married one.
THE UPSIDE: They are smarter than you are. If you have kids, you will NEVAR have to figure out your kid's relentlessly incomprehensible Trigonometry home work. Everything from your grocery list, to your taxes, will be figured out to the penny. The "Tiger" between the sheets is your "Tiger Mom" at home and if you survive into your dotage, your rich kids will not only be culturally disposed to take care of you, they will be rich enough to do it in style. Did I mention how hot they are?
THE DOWNSIDE: They are smarter than you are. Deception, without a serious plan, complete with forensic evidence to back up your BS, is a sure fire loser. Getting "crafty" with your Asian girlfriend or wife is like drawing to an inside straight. Sometimes you can get away with it, but usually, your busted.
BREAKING UP: Are you kidding? There is one way and only one way out of a serious relationship with an Asian chick. SHE has to be sick of YOU. Imagine the "Art Of War" shit that is going to take place with your family, friends, job, wallet etc. etc. Again, she is smarter than you are. If you MUST break up, it's gonna take a serious cocaine problem over several months and the destruction of what she is going to destroy anyway. You may as well do the cocaine.
White Boy, say goodbye to White Girls. Remember when Carly Simon (Loved that face, that smile.) sang that song "You're So Vain"? "Clouds In her Coffee"? What the hell does that mean? "Clouds in my coffee"? That was 1972. No one, to this day, knows who pissed her off. She's a white girl, so, she doesn't have to explain it. Who pissed her off? It could have been Mick Jagger, Warren Beatty, or James Taylor just to name a few. She still won't talk about it and no one knows to this day why she is pissed, or, who she is pissed of at.
Time to move on to Browner Pastures my friends. Think of the money your kids will save on Tanning Salons.