Friday, May 10, 2019

FLASHBACK!!! FORMER KANSAS CITY FIRST LADY GLORIA SQUITIRO AND DEFEATED MAYOR FUNKY RETURN TO PROMOTE SELF-PUBLISHED TELL-ALL!!!



This Friday morning we witness a return of politicos that nobody wanted or asked for . . . Whilst we must admit that she looks very nice in her publicity photos and much happier than she ever did in KCMO . . .

FIRST ON TKC BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE CARES!!! FORMER 1ST LADY AND MAYOR FUNKY RETURN TO KANSAS CITY!!!

A note from the scribe . . .

The first volume in the 3-book C’mon Funk series, May Cause Drowsiness and Blurred Vision: The Side Effects of Bravery, is a twelve-year gestation that is ready to pop!

Since the book series takes place almost entirely in Kansas City, Funk and I will be in town to kick it off, the details of which can be found below.

Here’s wishing that you, too, don’t allow logistics to get in the way of reaching for YOUR dreams. Even if those logistics might come with throat-clenching fear.

All the love,

Gloria

Translation: She wrote her book about a decade too late.



"Come and join me at my first book signing event on May 18th (the same day my new book, May Cause Drowsiness and Blurred Vision: The Side Effects of Bravery, will be released). I'll be at the Town Center Barnes & Noble in Leawood, Kansas"

Final notice from the former mayor turned D.C. trade mag editor and his wife who seems to crave the spotlight in her own right:



Come party with the Funks as we celebrate the launch of my first book! Funk and I will be hosting a Book Launch Party at The Westport Flea Market at 7:00 PM on Saturday, May 18th.

We held the Watch Party for the primary election at The Flea when Funk ran for mayor and we used to take the kids there often, so it's a special place for us. We’ll have sliders, pasta salad and beer. We hope you'll join us to celebrate the big day!
###########

Those who might fondly remember the days of the Funkhouser Administration are entirely incorrect. While his politics opposed high taxes in some instances, let's not forget that he had his own trolley scheme that FAILED and he let his wife's feet and caustic volunteerism completely sidetrack any credibility.

To be even more blunt . . .

Mark Funkhouser might have been the most incompetent elected official in modern Kansas City history -- And there's A LOT of competition for that title.

So, no, we're not gonna read the stupid book. We hope this will be the last we hear of this lady and her vanity press ambitions and even if she wrote an entire book about TKC and this blog community that helped boot her and her husband out of office and out of town . . . Her writing is still only good for a chuckle . . . Which is why she should have just focused on blogging.

You decide . . .

47 comments:

Anonymous said...

She wrote a press release about getting dinner?

Anonymous said...

I didn't think it was possible but Funkhouser is getting cucked by his own wife.

Cgc said...

Should be a lesson for the upcoming election. Lots of talk, lots of promises but in the end the guy just couldn't deliver and his personal demons were too much to overcome so that he could not govern effectively. It can happen to anyone but one of the candidates has a lot more in common with this story than the other.

Think about it.

Anonymous said...

She's actually a very good writer and really interesting. Just has a poor choice of subject matter: Herself.

chuck said...

At least Funk didn't stick a 4 billion dollar airport we don't need up our collective asses.

Anonymous said...

Did she ever do Jolie ?

Anonymous said...

Is Byron going to the launch party? I mean, there is free food there.

Anonymous said...

^^^ depends on how much the government has to pay to get him to killa shitty and back to w.v., so......

Anonymous said...

That Barnes And Noble is not even in Kansas City.

Byron Funkhouser said...

6:38, Dennis, Eric, Karen & our mother won't be there, either.

The Squitiro's disowned her a long time ago.

They even disowned our father just before he died. That's why the children aren't named Funkhouser. There was a dispute between Gloria & Karen, & Dad sided with Karen, to which Gloria responded, "I've seen dogs with more loyalty." He did show loyalty, she just didn't get it.

Like Tony, I won't be reading this book, either.

Anonymous said...

Uh, Byron, nobody ever thought you would be reading the book, or any other book.

Unknown said...

If you don't fit in with politicos in kcmo it's a compliment to you

Anonymous said...

I will buy one of the four copies that are sold.

Anonymous said...

Gloria looks like the medicine is finally taking hold, I guess somebody will give an update of wether or not she’s still bat shit crazy or not.

Anonymous said...

Byron should write a book about scamming the welfare system.

Anonymous said...

Looks like shes had bariatric surgery. She used to be fat and was one of those women who always wore black, thinking it made her look small.

Anonymous said...

Funk was a good auditor. Really good.

But he was a gutter trash mayor.

Anonymous said...

Cleaver and Funk were TERRIBLE mayors. Barnes and Sly James much much much better.

Anonymous said...

8:14, at least he was good at getting his name and picture in the news. As a self promoter he was tops, as an auditor I'm not so sure. But whatever skills he had did not translate into the skills needed to succeed as mayor.

Anonymous said...

Better at turning the city into a cash register for developers you mean.

Anonymous said...

May Cause Drowsiness and Blurred Vision


Wow they should put that on a huge welcome sign at KCI for visitors heading into town after arriving.


Perfect!

Anonymous said...

@8:19 Barnes and Sly James much much much better.


Ah one of the sheeple has spoken. Bahhhhhh Bahhhhhhh

Anonymous said...

This is the ghost of Byron's dead father. Byron, you faggot. You're the reason why our family hates each other.

Castizaje said...

"A city that works" ...funk was a freak. Loling at tonys posts about the funkenhouser clan 10 years ago. Tara and the black dude..lol

Anonymous said...

Will probably be more informative then reading the clown idiot maestro Sly James book The Magic Bowtie.

Warning Unfiltered Content said...

Tony you still have grudge because Francis Selmer and her minute man brigade was on Parks and Recreation during Funks tenure?

Let it go dude no one got killed.

Anonymous said...

Hey Byron, Dennis, Eric, Karen & your mother won't be there to see you either.


Plus you can't read the book you're blind remember? I bet the Feds are going to love that quote from you when they are investigating you for fraud hate crimes and such. But then you have always done a great job of never knowing when to shut up. Remember Mark is in Washington now and making the moves in helping this investigation along.

Anonymous said...

“It’s clear to me that 95 percent of the population doesn’t understand how TIF works,” said Kay Barnes



She's referring to the useless eaters of KCMO. I suppose sheep would enjoy leadership with an attitude like that to lead them around.

Anonymous said...

Wow do you think Gloria and Jolie ever scissored?

Anonymous said...

I've been friends with their family for a long long time and they're really nice people. I would never vote for them but for as people they're cool and i'll stick up for them.

Anonymous said...

I wonder whatever happened to Tara the Tart. Is she married, does she have kids, did she move to Washington as well, anything?

I knew personally he would never be a good mayor is when I found out his kids didn't have his last name. Even though they were his blood born children in wedlock. That screamed super beta male to me. And at the time that wasn't what Kansas City needed after years of Kay Waldo-Cronkite-Whatever-Barnes and Mayor Car Wash.

Unfortunately, that's what we got to a beta male who's wife dictated everything he did.

Tired Taxpayer said...

Mark Funkhouser had the best interests of the citizens at heart and did a good job.
Funk was viciously attacked by Glorioso and Burke continuously.
The election campaign against Funk never ended. The developers lost their meal ticket when Barnes went out. Funk personally told this writer that Mike Burke was primary instigator of attacks against him. Helling and Star helped.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, it's not in Braille, so BlieROB can't read it!

Anonymous said...

@10:35AM...that may all be true but Funk didn't help himself either. As mayor, you need to do something/anything to show the public that you're doing your job.

Yes, a pet project.

Cleaver had 18th and Vine and Union Station. Barnes had Sprint Center and Sly has the Toy Train, Hotel and Airport. Funk had none of that. All he was interested in were numbers. And that is all fine. But doesn't get you re-elected and is hard to sell the people.

And remember, crime was starting to rise during his administration. He could of tried to do something about it. Wasn't interested.

Fixing the roads....wasn't interested.
Bringing more jobs to the MO side of the state line? Wasn't interested.
Bringing an NBA or NHL team to KC. Wasn't interested.

All he cared about was Numbers. And that's largely why he became a failed mayor.

Anonymous said...

What is her opinion about unsolicited bulk e-mail?

Anonymous said...

@11:08, even with no pet project you can point to how smoothly things might be running. His problem was untenable: absolute support of his wife or destroy his goodwill with the entrenched powers in City Hall. He chose the former, for which I applaud him, however, her tarnishing of the Funk image in City Hall and KC media forever guaranteed any accomplishments would be only a footnote to his administration.

Anonymous said...

He looks like Saruman from lord of the rings.

Anonymous said...

the moment they moved the board of trade was the moment neoliberalism said almost buried.

Byron Funkhouser said...

10::02, "...investigating you for fraud hate crimes and such."

Yeah, right, sure they are, especially the "such".

I said I was LEGALLY blind, remember?


9:41, no, you (Dad's ghost) were the reason they hated each other. Alcoholism breeds co-dependency, which breeds dysfunction & as some members move toward sobriety, others entrench in co-dependency.

Anonymous said...

STFU Byron, they're coming to get you and nobody but yourself to blame. Me, I'm looking forward to seeing the charges so I can add my name to the witness list.

Anonymous said...

If you have poor eyesight as many people do it's easy as hell to fake it to the point of getting to be declared legally blind so you can sit home and play on the internet all day instead of being forced to work for a living doing many different jobs that don't require perfect eyesight. Byron's main disability is he an extreme mental case and needs to have his internet uses taken away. He got out of the service on a psycho discharge.

Anonymous said...

"Legally blind" only means being able to convince a very credulous, Santa Clause like social security hearing examiner for the duration of the hearing. Bumping into door jambs, tripping over chairs and staring somewhere out in right field should do the trick. Once that precious total disability rating is in hand, you're home free, because the gummint will never ever bother to check on you.

Byron Funkhouser said...

The judge had medical records. Have you ever heard of those? Also, military records.

It has been reviewed twice, then I received a letter from Kansas City that said it wouldn't be reviewed anymore.

It will automatically become retirement benefits when I turn 66. My military service is just an excuse.


But, we all know the real reason for this hateration: say hi to your boyfriend Mark Squitiro for me, assholes.

Byron Funkhouser said...

3:02, no one is coming to "get" me.

Save that paranoia shit for Mark & Gloria.


If PussyDave can say, "Byron, you ignorant slut.", then I can call him names, too.

Not unsurprisingly, you bitches don't understand freedom.

Anonymous said...

Byron,
You are one effed-up train wreck, but since you can’t help it I do have one sincere question for you ... why do you follow this blog like you live here? It would seem there are other online forums that would pertain more to you. As a Kansas Citian, I can’t imagine spending hours a day pontificating on some blog about Cleveland, OH even if I was on welfare and didn’t have much to do.

Anonymous said...

Byron will stalk you like mad if he can. He is convinced I coached a hockey team. Idiot asshole.

Byron Funkhouser said...

7:05 None of your fucking business.

10:50 That is not what I said. I said that you were pretending to be the coach of the hockey team assuming that you're the person who insisted he was Terry Murray.

I'm not stalking anyone. I'm reading & commenting, just like everyone else.

If you don't like it, too fucking bad. Take it up with Tony.