Friday, February 22, 2019

SHOCK!!! KANSAS CITY ZOO KILLS ANOTHER CAPTIVE: GIRAFFE DEAD!!!

Our conversation about the cruelty of captivity proves prescient following this horrific animal tragedy:

KC Zoo giraffe dies after behind-the-scenes accident

Kansas City Zoo SOURCE: Kansas City Zoo The Kansas City Zoo is again reeling after a devastating loss.Hamisi, one of the zoo's adult giraffes, died Wednesday morning after an accident in his behind-the-scenes enclosure. According to a necropsy performed by zoo veterinarians, Hamisi suffered an acute spinal cord injury and likely died instantly.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

News flash, animals die in the wild too. This shouldn't be a surprise to most intelligent people.

Anonymous said...

Get ready for extra portions of meat at your local chinese restaurant

Anonymous said...

The original report stated that Hamisi the giraffe was killed by two men in red caps screaming homo-giraffic slurs and proclaiming "this is MAGA country." He also smelled slightly of bleach, and had a noose around his neck.

Later, it was announced by the KCPD's special "Wild Country Safari Homicide Squad" that Hamisi paid the men $3,500 in a hoax geared toward smearing the Trump administration, and in fact succumbed due to autoerotic asphyxiation.

Anonymous said...

Didn't like hearing about the polar bear and now this about the giraffe. Sad. Don't zoos seem like a throwback to the 1890s or something? Gawking at wild animals in captivity is getting stale isn't it? Do we have to still do that? Isn't it a bit cruel and unnecessary?
Thanks,
Radish

Anonymous said...

Hey Radish,

If you don't like zoos, then maybe consider scraping out your eyeballs with an ice cream scoop. Take your bleeding heart to Harambe's grave, dig the thing up, and suck off its shriveled furry dick.

Thanks,
Fuck off

Anonymous said...

Don't blogs seem like a throwback to the 1890s or something? Gawking at stupid people in the comments is getting stale isn't it? Do we have to still do that? Isn't it a bit cruel and unnecessary?
Thanks,
Carrot

Anonymous said...

1:04 comment = NICE!

Someone needed to say it, so thanks for sticking your neck out.

Anonymous said...

Two sides to every story. The zoo could have protected that giraffe from being eaten by lions years ago. Ever think of that?

Anonymous said...

4:11
Thanks for sharing, but that's a stupid opinion you ignorant slut.
Thanks,
Corn on the cob

Anonymous said...

I think the animals are finally discovering that they live east of Troost and are offing themselves to avoid being murdered and eaten. Sad.

Anonymous said...

How much does a polar bear and a giraffe cost to replace?

Anonymous said...

Not an opinion, it's a fact. Or do you think there are vegetarian lions like you hipsters?

Anonymous said...

We'll know soon when KCMO buys new ones.

Anonymous said...

Sly will propose a sales tax increase for replacing the bear and the giraffe.

Anonymous said...

The replacement cost is higher than giraffe pussy