Monday, November 26, 2018

KANSAS CITY STAR DESPERATELY SEEKING PART-TIME FLUNKIES TO PUSH DEAD TREES FOR DISCOUNT RATES!!!



Don't say TKC never tried to give your starving children Christmas . . . Here's a pitch from a Kansas City company owned by a media organization trading near a 52-week-low and struggling to find a viable profit model. One of the ways they're doing that is to can full-time workers and replace them with rubes who'll take cash on the nose and forget about the longer term risk to car and dignity.

Here's the latest "help wanted" from the newspaper as they've stopped bragging about hiring new reporters and instead focus on their core biz . . . Delivering news we've already seen on TV and the Internets earlier in the week.

Checkit:

Do you want to supplement your income?

Are you dependable?

Do you want to be your own boss?

If so, we have a great opportunity for you!

As a newspaper carrier, you will work early morning hours, seven days a week, and can earn up to $1000 monthly (depending on route and area).


Sadly, I got 2 out of 3 of the questions wrong.

And here is where I would put Steve Kraske OR Dave Helling's home phone number if I wasn't such a nice guy.

Hopefully, more for the morning update . . . STAY TUNED!!!

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

This didn't used to be such a bad job. And you could do it under the cover of darkness most of the time if you were embarrassed about picking up the extra cash. What's weird is that it's probably more work with less subscribers. They used to have densely packed areas so you just threw from a car or mini van. Now, you might have to do more work and drive further distances to find a house that still takes the paper.

Jameson said...

Better deal than hunting down scooters and charging them at a loss.

Anonymous said...

This holiday news makes me sad.

Maybe a story about escort services or a local BSDM club would be a nicer post for the later hours.

Anonymous said...

Same thing isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Let's send them Chuck's application.

Anonymous said...

$1

Anonymous said...

The Star supports the idea of companies like Wal Mart etc paying $15 an hour but it appears the carriers are making less than $15 an hour with poor working conditions.

Anonymous said...

Do you want to be taken advantage of by a newspaper corporation that publicly advocates for $15/hour minimum wage but classifies their carriers as independent contractors to avoid employer tax status?

Do you want to learn where all the elderly folks live in your area?

Are you a Trump deplorable?

Do you want to be your own "pretend boss" (but not really)?

If so, we have a desperate opportunity for you!

As a newspaper carrier, you will work early morning hours, seven days a week, and can earn up to $1000 monthly (depending on route and area)...but be responsible for your own vehicle/fuel/insurance/maintenance/healthcare/no vacations/tax withholding/Social Security matching/etc.

Hyperblogal said...

After gas and mylanta you'll clear at least $75 per month.

Anonymous said...

Do you want some extra money for drugs?

Are you extremely undependable?

Do you want to work for a failure of a company?

If so we have agreat opportunity for frustration.

As a newspaper carrier, your will be delivering the Star to people who will not read the liberal bullshit in it, and will use the Star to line their bird cages.

Anonymous said...

Do you want to not supplement your income?

Are you unable to distinguish fact from opinion and lie about everything?

Do you want to be bitter?

BE A BLOGGER

Anonymous said...

12:01 PM comment

Please send the Blogger details to:

Professor Kraske in c/o UMKC