Saturday, May 12, 2018


Transcript from the TKC 2018 commencement speech entered into the pubic record and marked exhibit OU812:

Greetings graduates, faculty and staff of this esteemed institution. St. Whatever, I'm not sure, I didn't check Google Maps.

Anyway . . .

There's not a lot of good news to share with the Class of 2018 as we enter another election seasoned dominated by the Russians or identity politics depending on what type of white broad you're inclined to date.

A quick summary of future prospects . . .

Financial markets once controlled by some of the best and brightest men in the nation are now just glorified casinos where fake currency like Bitcoin and other derivative schemes are devised to separate fools from their money rather than create a viable market so that business can raise capital to create jobs, research and expand markets.

Love him or hate him, there's a reality show star in the White House. With the complicity of the mainstream media, Prez Trump has normalized trolling and trash talk as part of the discourse from the nation's highest office. This situation would be more lamentable if not for the fact that Hillary still would've been worse and definately started another war by now - In addition to the two that are still going unbeknownst to most of the American public that has grown accustomed to eternal military engagement. 

Just about everything that recent graduates have studied can be done more effectively by a robot. Automation and technology are whittling down the American workforce and the only solution seems to be more draconian rhetoric and policy targeting the working poor for their predicament while the American Middle-Class continues to fade.

Still, there is no denying that our discourse is vibrant and social media connects us to some of the finest Instagram hookers and keyboard pundit ready to drop career-ending tweets on anyone who strays too far from the mainstream narrative.

Therefore we can only offer the advice of the foremost sage of the late American 20th Century. Rodney Dangerfield:

“Look out for number one and try not to step in number two.”

Good luck. Can the Dean validate my parking? Any recent lady grads dumping their boyfriends before going out into the real world to more "effectively" search for jobs. Please meet me by the men's room near the exit.

To wit . . .


And all of this inspires our playlist tonight . . .

As always, thansk for reading this week and have a safe and fun Saturday night.


Anonymous said...

Funny shiz.

But seriously scholars.

Don't get your advice from a blog or a teacher or priest or anybody that is paid to babysit your dumb-ass.

Jazzbo said...

Just ask yourself one thing


What would Trump do?

You'll be fine. I guess.

The future said...

It may be a cliche but I'll tell you this you sons of b******. Try to do something that makes yourself Stand Out. Do what makes you happy. You see all these people fumbling around trying to look tough on the Internet or claiming that they are the next Mogul just because they have a few hundred followers on Twitter. That's nothing but desperation and just a sad statement about where our priorities are as a society. So I say just find something that comes close to paying the rent that you can do without too much hassle and work from there.

Anonymous said...

^^^^ Shut up drunk uncle!

The rules said...

Wear sunscreen.

Wear a condom.

Wear good shoes.

Other than that, figure it out for youself.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations graduates of the TKC Cliche School.

Greedo said...

Oh what a witty bitch! you've been spamming that same line for a month now, but it hasn’t caught on. Yet you still keep showing up. Alone on Saturday night and probably hiding from your fat wife. Sorry life didn't work out for you and you're trolling a local blog. Too bad d-boy, may it's time to admit that your just a frustrated fan who wants more attention from Tony.

Pay attention students, this is what real life middle-aged FAIL looks like.

As for TKC, still good for a couple of laughs and a reminder that you politicians are just hucksters on training.

Sorry T, I think you really pissed off some deranged high school English teacher with all of your goofing.

Anonymous said...

Take a chill cuz.


Anonymous said...

Be the opposite of the douche bag millenials. Don’t suck dick like they do all the time

DD said...


Some real wisdom from a TKC reader that your professors are too scared to mention!

Retro ROCKER said...

Eddie Van Halen would be Impressed.

Anonymous said...

Men , listen to your dad and be a man ! Get a job that is really good work , earn some money to pay for your own shit , get laid once a while , don't do illegal SHIT , show up to your Job on time , earn that paycheck , have some fun , become republican ,. Vote republican and believe in capitism ,. Your only option to survive and thrive in life !!¡¡!!

Anonymous said...

^^^ Yup, become republican, vote republican and believe in capitalism, take it up the ass from any Con Man that can fool enough Bible Bullies into voting for him, wreck the economy, screw the working class, give everything to the wealthy, blame the last Democratic President when the economy collapses.

chuck said...

Funny stuff Tony.

DON'T go to college, unless you are STEM.

If you love America and the Constitution, your children and growing family, think about moving. Trump is the last stand for the middle class and the Rule of Law. The influx of irredentist illegal aliens from the south and the insistence of our world leaders, excluding Trump, that we can bring in millions of Muslims and they will assimilate, is insane, but accepted public policy by our thought leaders and the Fascist Fucks who will soon, by way of demographics, destroy you.

Enjoy Free Speech here on TKC while it lasts, for Free Speech is an endangered species. At some point, America will resemble Britain and you will go to jail for telling the truth about anything that your Pigressive overlords deem "Hate Speech".

Finally, encourage everyone you know, neighbors, friends, families, to put a "Time Capsule" in the back yard, place print outs from Drudge, Fox, CNN, MSNBC, Brietbart, Huff Post et al, buried in secret, so that, some day, at some future time, the Chinese Commissars who, with the remaining Pigressives (Who, by the way, Black People, will be all white. - about 15 minutes after white Pigrressives figure out they don't need you, don't answer the door.), will find it impossible to remove the new historical apochrypha from the eyes of what's left of those who would defy the innate power of the New, Pigressive Imperium.

Enjoy what is left of an open and free society, where discourse, at least in the hinterlands, is still allowed.

Goodbye TKC this is what is coming to America said...

So, in Britain and, in my opinion, soon here, Muslim "Grooming Gangs" can rape your little girl and your little boy up the ass, but, you can't say anything about it.

"British police forces have been under fire for some time due to certain elements appearing to be focused on punishing people for so-called ‘hate speech’ and causing ‘gross offence’ — at a time when violent crime, child sexual exploitation, and radical Islamic terrorism are all on the rise.

The most well-known case of this sort recently involves YouTube comedian Mark Meechan — better known as Count Dankula — who was convicted by a Scottish court for teaching his pug dog to raise its paw in response to the command “Sieg Heil” and causing ‘gross offence’.

However, Freedom of Information requests answered by 29 police forces revealed that some 3,395 people were arrested under section 127 of the Communications Act 2003 — which makes it illegal to intentionally “cause annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety to another” — in 2016, with some forces increasing their number arrests for such ‘crimes’ by as much as 844 per cent.

More recently, police in Northumbria tracked down and threatened Facebook users who made disparaging comments about Muslim grooming gangs — but stopped short of arresting them — and warned “do not post anything which could be considered offensive” in a public statement.

The Government rejected a petition for a Free Speech Act which would put a stop to such tactics in January."

Anonymous said...

life is 90% showing up.

Zoe said...

Don't sweat the small stuff.

It's all small stuff.

Super Dave said...

The issue of giving advice to any student is that a majority of them won't pay any attention to what you tell them because remember when you were that age and knew it all yourself already?

Anonymous said...

Dear 2018 Graduates:

What can I say? Most of you are pathetically average, but hey, that's the way statistics work. Life is a Bell Curve. Look it up on your phone, scholars.

Unless you're getting a full scholarship to college, here's what I encourage you to pursue.

1) Military service
You need someone older and more experienced to push you to excel, and the military knows just how to light a fire under your lazy ass. Not only will they pay for all your basics, but if you learn some initiative they'll open doors for all types of additional training and education. Work hard and take advantage of free stuff.

2) Not going to college or trade school? Go to Wal-Mart!
No, I'm not kidding. You're 18-years old and need a career path. Go to your nearest Wal-Mart, ask to speak to the manager. Tell them you're interested in a career as a store manager (they have a training program) and you'd like to be mentored. You'll start off at the bottom and have to prove yourself, work hard, be dependable, be willing to take transfers, but by the time you're still in your 20's you'll be advancing. Store managers make in the neighborhood of 100K.

Seriously, you guys should have listened to all the adults who advised you as entering freshmen to make top grades and excel in activities.

To be averagely successful, just do these 3 things: graduate from high school, get and keep a job, don't have children before you get married.

Anonymous said...

Tony's a shitty, cliche-ridden hack Greedo, and you should known it.

Mkc said...

^^^ Lulz. And you're reading his blog on Sunday. What does that make you! Grow up @2:15. Stop crying.