Saturday, April 22, 2017
TKC BREAKING AND EXCLUSIVE NEWS!!! KANSAS CITY STARBUCKS UNICORN FAPPUCCINO CONSPIRACY REVEALED!!! MIDTOWN BARISTAS REFUSE TO MAKE POPULAR DRINK OUT OF DISGUST!!!
The Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino is one of the most celebrated drinks in the recent history for the corporate coffee company but the success is meeting with a backlash among beleaguered Kansas City baristas who have now refused to make the drink and instead have resorted to deceiving customers about a lack of supply.
That's right . .
MIDTOWN KANSAS CITY STARBUCKS BARISTAS HAVE ALL CONSPIRED AGAINST THEIR EMPLOYER AND DECEPTIVELY REPORT THAT THEY'RE OUT OF SUPPLIES TO MAKE THE SPRINGTIME SENSATION DRINK!!!
Feel free to fact check TKC's work and give the nice baristas at Main st., 39th St. Downtown and the Plaza a ring . . . Ask them pointed questions during their busy Saturday night and be prepared for the litany of inventive curses that liberal arts college grads can devise.
Fact is, they're probably doing their customers a favor given the high calorie per-diabetic recipe.
Still, the deception is obvious and just a bit inspiring to see workers take their fate into their own hands whist mercilessly mocking the many adults seeking the beverage in not-so-secret fashion.
Confirmed by at least three barista friends, here's a descriptive off-record quote that was just a bit nicer than the typical barista freak out.
"Not. Going. To. Do. It. I won't be a part of the Unicorn $h*t they're shoveling. I make thousands of drinks every day and do it gladly with a smile on my face. But I refuse to be turned into an unwitting soda jockey in a process that takes up to five minutes for every damn one and backs up the line by a half an hour. NO. They didn't plan the roll out well at all. They lied to us and then they expect us to pick up the slack without adding on extra help. So no, you're not getting your Unicorn $h*t at a location that serves more than 10,000 people every day. None of the stores in KC are serving them and here's the secret: All of the managers are on board with us because I've seen two people quit over the past week thanks to this garbage. Starbucks is not supposed to be McDonald's. Go order a milkshake. I shouldn't be expected to deal with ADULTS who are chasing around ice cream and keep my guests who just want a quick cup of coffee waiting all day. Face it, if you order this Unicorn $h*t. You are nothing but an a$$hole."
Again, we invite journalists from across the metro to duplicate our research on Saturday night as of this writing. Go both a busy a barista and see how excited they are to talk . . .
Check the links. Happy hunting.
NY Post: Starbucks' unicorn drink is pushing adults to the edge of insanity
Reuters: Starbucks' Unicorn Frappuccino sparks backlash from baristas
Investors Biz Daily: Starbucks Breaks Out To 1-Year High As 'Unicorn' Tastes Like Victory
Developing . . .