TKC BREAKING NEWS!!! PENNY THE ELEPHANT IS REPORTEDLY CLOSE TO DEATH IN THE KANSAS CITY ZOO!!!



Here's some sad news for Kansas City animal lovers and fans of Penny the elephant:

"Penny, the elephant is near death. She's the second oldest African elephant on this continent--the zoo celebrated her 50th birthday last summer. Not sure if you want to say anything. The Zoo is protective of its "news" because they don't want PETA here."

While tragic, and I hope that Penny can hang on . . . I'm thinking this might mean:

THE NEW TAX SCHEME FOR THE KANSAS CITY ZOO CAN'T SAVE THE ANIMALS EVEN IF IT MAKES LOCALS CAPTIVE TO A HUGE FINANCIAL BURDEN!!!

On the bright side and to be fair . . . The vote is over with . . . We should probably just enjoy the penguins. I like mine medium-rare.

DEVELOPING . . .

Comments

  1. Maybe the new dog shelter can use the food?

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  2. No more new Taxes. Or it will be the Taxpayers in Kansas City that will be dying.

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  3. William Randolph Hearst would have loved having you for a writer on his staff

    no one does hyperbole and over-reactions better

    you're funny

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  4. Tony, your post is silly. The Zoo tax has nothing to do with an elephant who has lived a very long life. What was the point?

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  5. Tony Causes Me Concern1/21/12, 3:48 PM

    That poor elephant has lived in some terrible conditions at that zoo until recent years. Poor thing.

    Penny did not have the option of living in Mom's basement Tony.

    Your hatred of animals is very troubling Tony.

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  6. Tony should be raped by an elephant. That will teach him!

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  7. Must suck being a poor blogger.

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  8. Whatever. Show some chick with big ears and big boobs.

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  9. The Chamber Wife1/21/12, 5:21 PM

    Elephant meat is a delicious delicacy. They say that it heightens sexual desire. I had my first sample on Safari so many years ago. I was in the company of a U.S. Senator and the new dictator of a struggling African nation. He was a lovely man who presented me with ivory jewelry. Out of protocol I could not accept. I'm sharing this story with Tony and his hoarde of readers so that they realize ther is such a larger world. Out there than this quiet little hamlet. Tony, there are people with knowledge, experience and education so much greater than yours. It's time you turn your blog to the interests of people who really matter.

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  10. The guy who put one in his wifes chamber1/21/12, 5:42 PM

    What she really means

    "Elephant meat is a delicious delicacy."
    I was banged by 3 nigerian taxi drivers.

    "I had my first sample on Safari so many years ago. I was in the company of a U.S. Senator and the new dictator of a struggling African nation."

    I was down on my luck with a huge crack habit. So I was slingin pussy on the avenue. My pimp and his bro dp'd me for a 20.

    "I'm sharing this story with Tony and his hoarde of readers so that they realize ther is such a larger world."

    I'm a fake ass pretentious shit head, sop I make up wild stories"

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  11. Fucking weird.

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  12. hungray Koon1/21/12, 6:43 PM

    niggas gonna have a BIG bbQ at de Swope!!!! Bring yo drank an weed!!!

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  13. Chamber wife

    You make up stupid stories just like Alonzo Washington.. Go back to the avenue where you belong.

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  14. What!? She just had a 50th brthday party last summer!

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  15. Animals are well-treated at the zoo, in spite of what a previous commenter said. The Kansas City Zoo is one of the best--even Jane Goodall has said as much.

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  16. Where's Ron Burgandy?

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  17. 6:53 That has been true for the last 15 years or so, but twenty years ago, the had the Elephants standing around in what looked like a sandstone quarry. Penny would have suffered that.

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