While so many people in this cowtown stuff their face, it's important to realize that there are a great many d-bags in Kansas City who are thankful despite desperate circumstances.
As a very grateful, local basement dweller/blogger I want to celebrate ongoing failure in this town.
To wit . . .
TKC'S ANNUAL TURKEY AWARDS CELEBRATE KANSAS CITY'S BIGGEST LOSERS!!!
Here goes:
Nobody wants to listen to Kansas City radio talker Chris Stigall gobble up and then regurgitate GOP talking points.
His ratings are WAY DOWN his mentor Lou Dobs is now on his knees in front of Latino groups and it's clear that hate radio isn't as popular as old white dudes would like to think.
Cy Young Earned by Set-ups makes Zack Greinke a typical Kansas City Turkey
Get it straight: Privilege, Marketing and SUPREMACY earned the Royals pitcher his prize and NOT his slightly less than mediocre play in non-competitive games.
Turkeys enjoying privilege at the P&L District cost KC big money
As much as TKC loves white ladies . . . Ongoing P&L District Failure costs Kansas City millions to subsidize every year and there's no way the party can continue indefinitely. The P&L District is a playground for SUPREMACY and it doesn't make a dime. It's the worst of both worlds and a look at KC's poor planning.
Stick a fork in the Kansas City, Missouri School District: It's Done.
Superintendent John Covington came up with some great PR that doesn't mean much given that so much vicious student fighting speaks to the lack of progress in Kansas City Schools.
Interim City Manager Troy Schulte is a Turkey With A Target On His Back
I hear he's a competent guy, I hear he's a good guy. But there's nobody at City Hall who can piss off half a dozen Council people and stay on . . . The part he played in the Cauthen Coup could result in some horrible karma coming after him.
Mike Hendricks and The Star are on the chopping block and soon to be obsolete Kansas City turkeys.
PR doesn't want Hendricks and the Star is slowly fading away. The Paper-of-Record reveals that it's not really the 4th Estate but rather just another dying business model.
Local Hipster Turkeys at The Crossroads have been tenderized by The Great Recession
Empty condos surround local turkeys living in a formerly posh neighborhood that is suddenly less important.
Butterball Turkey Chuck Eddy is now a bygone memory
Poor dude is going to have to go back to cracking wishbones.
The Kansas City Black Clergy is comprised of turkeys that want to stay relevant.
Read between the lines . . . They want attention and NOT Cauthen back, which isn't too hard to understand.
Turkey Gloria Squitiro No longer rules the City Hall Roost (or something)
Kansas City's Biggest Turkey is locked away in Brookside. The worst part: It wasn't her husband who took control of her hot mess . . . Word on the street is that Jeff Roe is responsible for keeping this turkey behind the scenes and out of sight. While we hear that she might be coming back to City Hall soon-ish . . . I kinda feel sorry for Mayor Funky in this cruel pecking order.
Feel free to suggest your own local turkeys if you'd like . . . Because, frankly, I'm tired of you bags.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING KANSAS CITY!!!
Happy Thanksgiving T.
ReplyDeleteTony, love the blog but you and while I agree the Cy Young doesn't mean a thing for the Royals, Greinke is a great pitcher and would be on any team. 2 years and he is gone to a better place.
ReplyDeleteJoCo Everyman has a point.
ReplyDeletedarla is much much worse than stigall, but that's like saying the sun exploding is much worse than a black hole sucking all life away. much like stigall and darla do.
ReplyDeleteleft out the biggest loser of all -- you, tkc
ReplyDeletegreat idea for an entry, Tony. you can do it again w/ the New Year, no doubt
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgiving
Mo Rage
Wouldn't it be a hoot if Jeff Roe IS responsible for putting the muzzle on the Squid.
ReplyDeleteMaybe this year Big Jeff Roe can send out his own Christmas card describing what it took to put the muzzle of Gloria :) And he can clear up the mystery as to the new balance of power between the Gruesome Twosome... I would be surprised if anything changed but, heck, the Squid is muzzled... and this couldn't happen without the sign off of the Funk.
Who is the matador now, Squid?
Memo to Jeff Roe: please don't send out a Christmas Card discussing the Mayor and his wife's relationship.
ReplyDeletePLEASE!
Actually, the Funk has been muzzled too! He has been tame and lame for many many months. I guess the smartest guy in the room finally listened to someone (BIG JEFF ROE) and decided that being an abusive ass and know it all wasn't as important as restoring the damage to his own, personal credibility and having a slim and otherwise outside chance to continue his Grand Adventure in the Mayor's Chair beyond next year.
ReplyDeleteLong live the Orange Revolution, the Orange Revolution is dead. All thanks to you, you feckless and otherwise clueless arrogant hostile mean and nasty buffoon.
The Orange revolution?
ReplyDeleteI haven't heard that one in forever. I thought we all gave up on the Mayor's promises. He had so much potential and he ruined it by showing us that he still is without control of City Hall.
Remember when Funk was all about "transparency?" Except when he wants to be viciously secret. Residents of the city need an explanation about Cauthen's firing. And Funk complained that Cauthen didn't have experience managing a city, yet Troy Schulte (who provided inaccurate budget numbers) managed a town of fewer than 3,000 people many (10+)years ago--so he's experienced and qualified? WTF.
ReplyDeleteThe Mayor's promises were all lies... hidden behind his titanic ego and his apparent total lack of moral values as well as a lying, duplicitous soul.
ReplyDelete4:00 find an insider in City Hall and ask them about Troy's numbers. Troy's numbers have always been right. Wayne Cauthen has to put his spin on any document produced. Wayne may have played with numbers, but NOT Troy. The budget was structurally balanced by ordinance for two years that Wayne refused to follow. WAYNE was in control and he micromanaged every word, number and action that came out of City Hall. Wayne is gone and happiness REIGNS!
ReplyDeleteFunky is a lier always has been always will be. Squid taught him how. What KC is stuck with is two F up lier.
ReplyDeleteAnon 4:00... read the post below this one for the explanation about Wayne, if you still need one.
ReplyDeleteAnon 7:34... couldn't agree with you more!
Long Live Wayne Cauthen. The reign of Wayne Cauthen is dead. Don't see any way for him to get back ito the CM chair. He'll get paid... can't be helped. We have the Funk and the Council Titans to thank for yet another waste of our money. Oh well.
ReplyDeleteStrecth...the man with no real name who is on the TIF Board..
ReplyDeleteAnyone calling Greinke a loser should be pointing the finger at himself.
ReplyDelete