Ms. Mayor Gloria Squitiro lashes out at The Star's cartoonist, services the Mayor's needs and vows to stay put!!!

Notice they're not posting Gloria Squitiro's missives on Funk's blog anymore. They've become far too embarrassing. The shoeless wonder thought she could hide from TKC but thanks to AWESOME TKC TIPSTERS, I've got a hold of this week's embarrassing statement from the Chief political adviser in the Mayor's office.

Top order of business, getting back at The Star's Lee Judge for this cartoon . . .

Here goes:
While we are learning to harden up to the attacks on our family, a cartoon in the Star last week took our breath away. The underlying message stated that Funk should get a divorce so that his wife would stop helping him in the Mayor’s office. What the cartoonist implied was that he would rather see the sanctity of a marriage and a family dissolve, just because he doesn’t understand what it means to pull together as a family to get a job done. This is a sad commentary on so many levels, but it does speak to why our family is in this with Funk. We believe in marriage and in family and we absolutely believe that when you make a vow, you should not only keep it, but you should work hard to bring honor, dignity and joy to it. This is important not just for the individual family, but also for the positive impact that those vows have on the greater community in which we live.
What can we take from this angry quote? Obviously, endorsing nepotism and racial slurs like "Mammy" is a family value in the realm of the Funkhouser klan.

It gets worse. Here is Squitiro's vow to lurk in the Mayor's office till every bit of Mayor Funky's credibility is gone:
I’d also like to reassure you that I know that Funk will not stop until he gets to the other side. As his wife, I will continue to stand by him through it all: assisting him, tending to his needs and giving him my strength when he gets weary.

I know it's a sad thought for the holiday season but an obstinate Mayoral administration proclaiming married love against all odds and alluding to their sex life probably isn't what (a slim majority of) people in Kansas City had in mind when they voted for the reform that Funky promised.


  1. I'm no huge fan of Funky but this Lee Judge guy is a d-bag from the word go. An unfunny douch at that.

  2. did you see the cartoon in the pitch?

    I thought it was even better.

  3. Maybe one day you'll know what she's talking about when you get married...............or NOT.

  4. "...The underlying message stated that Funk should get a divorce so that his wife would stop helping him in the Mayor’s office..."


    The Mayor doesn't need to get a divorce and no one should be calling for that.

    But his wife has no business "helping" him in the mayor's office!

    She's not helping! She's doing exactly the opposite of helping! Can she not see that? Can the Mayor not see that?

    She's like the deadly iceburg carving the fatal chunk out of his Titanic Mayoral hull while claiming she's just scratching his back.

    No one elected her. No one is paying her! She has no accountability or official responsibilities and that is causing problems!

    Is she blind or just stupid?

    What the mayor needs is a highly qualified and professional Executive Assitant who understands that their official responsibility does not extend beyond scheduling appointments, making travel arrangements, reserving conference rooms and securing overhead projectors.

    A good one at that level will be in the $75-100k a year range. I know a couple of them I could recommend.

    EA's do NOT write public policy statements, write checks against the campaign fund, make staffing decisions, arrange for security detachments in parts of town they deem to be risky or speak for the Mayor in his abscence.

    "...he doesn’t understand what it means to pull together as a family to get a job done."

    No one elected a family!

    They elected a Mayor.

    His family needs to step back into obscurity, STFU, and let him do the job he was elected to do.

    He is doing a crappy enough job on his own. He doesn't need to be dragged down even further by people with far weaker political skills than he has speaking in public, writing newsletters and exercising authority that they don't have.

    The Kansas City charter does not provide for a Mayor / Co-Mayor form of government.

    "As his wife, I will continue to stand by him through it all: assisting him, tending to his needs and giving him my strength when he gets weary."

    Fine. Good for you.

    But keep that shit to yourself and do it at home.

    In City Hall, the Mayor needs to be the Mayor.

    No one wants to see it.

    No one wants to hear about it.

    No one wants to be aware of it.

    They just want to see a PROFESSIONAL Mayor going about his elected job in a professional manor.

    Governing a city the size of Kansas City is not a mom and pop operation.

    Gloria Squitiro and Mark Funkhouser need some refresher courses on the boundry between private life and public life.

    Because the mixing of the two over the past year has been a train wreck of biblical proportions.

    Happy Holidays.

  5. People are just pissed because Funk is trying to take out the trash at city hall that's been goldbricking it for years. His wife could disappear from the scene tomorrow and by Monday there would be another "controversy" around the mayor. It's just a whole lot of pissed of Brooks backers.
    Next issue, that was easy.

  6. Xavier Onassis
    And I thought Tony wrote alot

    I agree with Guy Dupree. Mark F. voted for Brooks.

  7. She sure seems thin skinned for someone who has thrust herself in the spotlight at every opportunity.
    Its nice that she is taking care of Mark-ee though.

  8. i agree with guy dupree on this one . if is isnt gloria then its francis. so who knows what will be next. just maybe funk need to empty the trash in city hall. did any ever consider why the blacks came out in force and rita group for waynes job just maybe they are afraid that someone else may do some checking on where all the money the city gives to those organization and find out that its not going there at all

  9. "Protect the sanctity of a vow."
    Did she really say that?
    What gall.

  10. I cannot point to anything that the mayor has done IN City Hall. He has been too busy trying to throw patronage to Great White North bigots -- Semler -- or kill mass transit for Nutter or explain some stupid or unethical thing that his wife has done -- too many to mention -- for to have put an end to goldbricking as we know it.

    All Judge was saying is that Funkhouser is too stupid to do the right thing and rid City Hall of Gloria. They are a package deal -- even though XO is right. There is no provision for Co-Mayors.

    Judge could have just drawn a cartoon with the mayor submitting a resignation and the point would be the same -- the Mayor is not smart enough to send Gloria home.

  11. why doesn't she just stay home and bake cookies? Did she goto work with Funk when he was an auditor. P.S. Where's my Mammy Frances Semler...

  12. I think Steve Glorioso is behind this with Tony.

    Its a 2 for 1 Special.

  13. That's very cute Paintman

  14. The question no one has asked: What would the Funk have said as auditor if Kay Barnes husband had mucked things up like this?

    Hey, if he can bring in his "doula" to work with him, why can't the parks board folks bring thier dogs to meetings, and maybe there should be a place for everyone's mate, so the employee of the citizen's, only makes decisions in the best interest of the mate?

    The way they are running city hall reminds me of the old country store where the "boss" had to ask "maw" when it came time to do something important.

    thank god I only have republican's banging secretaries and then becoming demecrats, I love kansas.

  15. Okay, let's all let up a bit. Maybe the Mayor's marriage is still going through sticky times. Maybe the projectiles are still flying in their heavily mortgaged Brookside abode. This new job has to be stressful. I want to extend a Merry Christmas to this little family and best wishes for a very good New Year. Hang Ten Mrs. Mayor!! And may your home address not show up in a "calls for service" list.

  16. This is ridiculous. Say what you want about Semler or Light rail or 3 trails.


    There's no reason for her to be there?

    Was she there when Funkhouser was Auditor?

    I didn't think so.

    It's just a simple bait and switch.

    Nothing less.

    Here press releases and other statements are nothing but an embarrassment.

    Send her home Mayor Funkhouser.

    Save what's left of your tenure.

  17. Funky doesn't have the balls to tell his wife to stay home.
    She feels entitled to the role she has in the office and will not go away on her own.
    She is fucking everything up right in front of his eyes. He either enjoys it or is powerless to stop it.
    As auditor he would have written a nasty report about it. He was always fond of saying that it is not only important to avoid impropriety but also to avoid the appearance of impropriety.
    I guess he thinks that dictum does not apply to him.

  18. "Funk's Reform" was a miserable failure. He's one of the most status quo-do nothing politicians this city has seen in a long time. He gives Kansas City a bad name. Period.

    As far as his shoeless wife is concerned, she just exacerbates the problem. The real issue is Funk's repeated examples of poor judgment. During the time he's been in office, he should have learned a few things by now; but obviously, this hasn't happened yet. The only thing he's proven is that he's definitely not what Kansas City needs.

  19. XO's sentiments towards Gloria get to the point:

    "Fine. Good for you.

    But keep that shit to yourself and do it at home.

    In City Hall, the Mayor needs to be the Mayor."

    Keep in mind, everybody, Kay Barnes was widowed in-office. Her husband died while she was mayor in 2000.

  20. Kay Barnes was widowed in-office

    Wouldn't it count even though she wasn't married. Steve Glorioso was always by her side and telling her what to do.

  21. what's paintman obsession with Gloriosio..Funk send your wife home, so when you get home she will have dinner waiting for you. And she can tell you how she called the African American woman "mammy" at the local grocery store. and you can respond that's nice dear..and you won't be sued because the woman is not a city employee...

  22. Funk = pussy whipped

    KC = pussy whipped by proxy and S.O.L.

  23. Funk, Funk, Funk. Man listen up and get rid of the old lady at work. If not, pack your bags and just go. There are worse things than just deciding it's time to pack it in. Because let's face it this "two for one" is just not working. You need to get a professional staff and make this city work. It's about time you start keeping your promises instead of stepping in one pile of shit after another. If not just GO!

  24. Hmmm what to do... Mayor stays with the "little" lady and continues to get his fair share of abuse, fair according to the sloth. OR he does what has been in his heart for at least a decade and finally makes it out the door for the last time. Yeeeeeeaaaahhh.... He is FREE! Come on, man, we are with you. Run, run fast and don't look back. You deserve to be treated better.


Post a Comment


Be percipient, be nice. Don't be a spammer. BE WELL!!!

- The Management