Coming Soon: KC's Epic Bumfight!!!

Today the Star reports that the housing slump is responsible for a decline in the $3 surcharge the county collects on real estate sales documents filed with the recorder's office which help to fund twenty-seven local agencies that serve the homeless.

However, it's not exactly news that the homeless in Kansas City are pretty much screwed.

Plaza panhandaling bums don't even merit the distinction of being human and are referred to as "visual blight" as if they were dilapidated house or spare tires littering a lawn.

More importantly, it's becoming clearer that if there is to be any kind of "Downtown Renaissance" (ugh) then all of the homeless d-bags who meander through the urban core simply HAVE to be carted off somewhere else.

Why? Here are just a few reasons of many:

The Northeast area inside the downtown loop might as well be called "Hobo Alley" because it's littered with not only every dreg of humanity but also a virtual smorgasboard of social service agencies operated by people who mistakenly earned their college degree in Sociology.

Okay, maybe the "Hobo Alley" term is a little harsh but you'll probably change your tune if you park you car downtown and carelessly leave more than 50 cents worth of change in plain view . . . In that case your window will be smashed and you'll probably end up voting Republican next election.

Nearly every other stoplight downtown hosts beggars who inadvertently lead the thoughts of commuters to issues related to luck, the meaning of life and the fairness of the distribution of wealth in this society . . . And that's just counter productive when so much of the P&L District pipe dream is based on empty minded and free spending club hoppers.

Those folks aren't all just the poor, downtrodden, salt of the earth . . . They will swing on you when the sauce has gone to their head or just because they're mostly half crazy anyway either before they hit the streets or because washing your junk in the public library restrooms for more than a week will work on your nerves.

Anyway, for these reasons and many others it's abundantly clear that: If Kansas City doesn't find a solution to the bum homeless problem than (that's just one more reason that) the eagerly anticipated "downtown renaissance" will never happen.

And what the situation calls for is cruelty. At some point, somebody is going to have to push these agencies and people out of the downtown loop and it's not going to look pretty.

I don't know if Mayor Funky has the heart or the political leverage to get the job done. Of course the Great White Northland doesn't give a damn about homeless people so he's got that going for him . . . But there was also a significant contingent of liberal, white, effete reformers who conned themselves into thinking that they really wanted to vote for "change" rather than just admitting that voting against the Black guy felt good. Anyway, when it comes to classic liberal pandering for the rights for homeless people to poop in the doorway of expensive condos then the Mayor stands to lose some support from this very vocal contingent, assuming that they're not saving the whales or mourning the latest graduate student killed on a bicycle in this town.

Already, when it has come to offending liberal sensibilities the Mayor took a hit over his defacto endorsement of the Minutemen. And it's been funny for me to watch the Mayor's boy Joe Miller try to stir division in the Latino Community and disseminate propaganda and cheap press releases against any Mexican-American who challenges the inherent stupidity of the Mayor supporting a lady who only despises free trade more than Mexicans. In his ridiculous book Miller seemed to be an advocate for young, minority youth but seeing how he and the Mayor have done their best to snub Latinos from all walks of life I'm guessing the guy just has a penchant for young, Black men . . . Cool, I guess. I've always had a soft spot in my heart for college aged Asian chicks as well - And not just because Woody Allen is my hero. It takes different strokes to move the world.

Anyway, back the the bums . . . Personally, they don't bother me and I could care less what happens to the homeless. I've learned to live with the few homeless dirtbags that I have to endure and they seem to know that when I roll up a newspaper and firmly clasp it in my hands it's a sure sign that I don't have any spare change and they shouldn't ask.

Nevertheless, expect issues regarding the homeless to further divide this town and demonstrate once again that the re-development of downtown Kansas City was nothing more than a massive effort to displace poor people and minorities and anybody else who can't afford a luxury condo.