Revival

Claire McCaskill is out to win the hearts of rural voters. Besides corny speeches and bad grammar I don’t know how this is accomplished. Already people are making abortion a big issue. Claire was spanked in her race for Governor because of her pro-choice stance. Frankly, I don’t know what all the fuss is about. It’s not like she’s performing the abortions herself. But who knows? Maybe that’s exactly what she’s doing. I suggest she stop. Walking into some poor girl’s bedroom in the middle of the night and performing an abortion is no way to win votes from the people from rural Missouri.

Oh, that’s right. A lot of women actually want abortions. They make appointments and drive down to the clinic without anybody pointing a gun to their head. Okay, so it’s impossible to control the many whorish women from relentlessly falling on all the dick that’s lying around and then getting knocked up because they don’t have the patience to bag it, so we must hold the politicians accountable for the skank like behavior of our daughters, wives, girlfriends and moms. Now I understand.

I don’t envy Claire. “You’ve got a pretty mouth,” is the standard come-on line in rural Missouri so I don’t expect any of them to have a nuanced approach to social issues. Additionally, Claire’s faux-folksy banter is about as natural as Pamela Anderson’s chest.

McCaskill hopes to promote “good old-fashioned Missouri common sense” in her campaign. She should start by avoiding a religious debate among the yokels and ask them if the present administration is doing them any good. Now, most of the people of rural Missouri will always be barefoot, ignorant, racist, toothless and mean and her reign probably wouldn’t help either but she could confuse them just enough to garner a few votes.

Or maybe she might just try showing a little more ass to gain support. Everybody can get behind (I mean support you perv) the ass of an ambitious white woman.