Forget about Funkhouser. If you want anything just ask Mr. Peanut politely!!!

So, I'm still working on the story of an increased Kansas City earnings tax in the works - A story that TKC first exclusively reported (!!!) - And what I'm hearing is that sources directly connected to analyzing Kansas City's financial situation say that there are efforts to get the opinion of Mr. Peanut on the topic because Funkhouser's reaction will be based upon whatever that guy says.

Essentially, word around City Hall is that Mayor Funky is powerless and is basically there to carry out Mr. Peanut's marching orders. So much for all the talk of "principles," unless the appearance of a politico in an extremely rich guy's pocket recently became a virtue.

But I'm won't just rely on City Hall gossip to back up this story . . . It's all over the news.

Mr. Peanut didn't want a voter approved light rail measure to go through . . . So Mayor Funky came up with a silly plan of his own that has failed to meet with any success.

Mr. Peanut was pushing for Mayor Funky to be a superdelegate and if Hillary picks up any steam . . . The guy just might get his way.

And now the scuttlebutt (heh) is that if the City Council is going to try and quietly raise the earnings tax . . . They're going to have to ask Mr. Peanut because his input is far more important than whatever PR image Mayor Funky is pushing upon the public.

All of this might be a tad troubling to anybody unaccustomed to Kansas City politics. However, patronage is simply part of this cowton's political landscape.

The only thing that strike me as strange is that allegations that Mayor Funky is being "run" by Mr. Peanut are so commonplace in Kansas City proper but strangely kept a secret to so many of the Mayor's suburban supporters who are blissfully unaware of how Kansas City politics works unless they're stupidly ranting against minorities.

So, it's this blog's duty (hehe) to inform all of the Internets that it's common knowledge in Kansas City: If you want something from the Mayor - It's better to sidestep Funky's office and the smell of Gloria's barefeet and instead just take your concerns to Mr. Peanut - He's a really nice guy and dealing with the dude directly in power is always the better option.

Maybe there's an upside to all of the hipsters headed down to the P&L District

MToast, my favorite Kansas City blogger, contemplates a brighter future for Westport: "hope that if the Bud Lite-swilling frat rubes have taken themselves and their cash to the P&L District, they're going to stay there for awhile."

Funding for Truman Sports Complex could be cut if Show-Me State legislation passes!!!

Missouri State Representative Jeff Roorda has filed legislation today that would prohibit state tax credits from going to professional sports teams in a league that does not place at least a one-year ban on athletes who test positive for anabolic steroids.

MLB’s current policy, currently under discussion, calls for such a ban only after the fourth failed test. Roorda’s legislation would call on professional sports league to place such a ban on a player after the first violation.

Roorda is an STL area Democrat and I surprisingly agree with his stance . . . I'm also hoping local politicos might encourage some kind of taxpayer discount if the Royals lose 100 games this year - Which is one of the best bets in baseball this side of whether or not Jose Conseco is going to start with ghey confessions after he runs out increasingly sexy stories only slightly related to steroids.

The only thing worth seeing in or around Kansas City this weekend is Comicon

Comicon is this weekend!!! I almost forgot!!!

As usual, there's a bunch of d-list celebrities slated to show up at the Overland Park International Trade Center over the weekend . . . Including Walter Koenig a.k.a. the guy who played Pavel Chekov on Star Trek - I'm guessing he might even feign laughter upon being asked to say the word "vessels" for maybe the first 2 or 3 dozen times. So I'll be showing up early.

Even better Tiffany Taylor will be there . . . I know, I didn't remember who she was either but apparently she's a former Playmate who has carved out a niche for herself by letting nerds drool on her.



Nice.

The last time I check out this local nerd there were only a couple of d-bags wearing costumes but I think I might go as Orgazmo this year - Which, for me, only involves wearing a baseball cap . . . Because I'm that awesome.

One more look at Kansas City cuts

There was a great article this morning in the Star regarding the consequences of all the cuts in Kansas City's budget.

It's good stuff and something that suburbanites should appreciate since it's basically at their behest as KC Parks and basic services get the brunt of the slashing while the so-called "regional cultural attractions" were left intact.

On the bright side, all of this reminds me that socialite, lion queen Jocelyn Wildenstein has demonstrated that extensive cutting can be beautiful. I guess.

KANSAS CITY CARJACKING/MURDER SUSPECTS CAPTURED!!!

KCTV5 reports: A male and a female police considered suspects in the shooting death of Brandon Fauntleroy-McDowel were in the custody of law enforcement officers Monday, according to the Kansas City, Mo., Police Department's homicide unit.

Hey kids, drugs won't help you become a winner. Here's proof:

KSHB: Former Royals player linked to cocaine operation. This blog is all about public service.

Serving up afternoon links

Here's some links I'm thinking about . . . So should you, very much like the Freudian implications of the photo featured above:

Crime Scene KC . . . "Dear Subway Robber: The police want to give you back your wallet"

Wow, the crime surrounding this area looks beautiful: New lighting enhances Paseo Bridge

Diebold is gearing up to decide elections in Kansas City!!!

All signs point to the continued downward slide of the Northeast KC: Graffiti Problem Growing Worse In Northeast KC

Man Injured In Officer Involved Shooting . . . This one actually made big news over the weekend on local blogs with RDM and Alonzo Washington questioning the nature of the gunfire or at least noting that "No new cops doesn't mean no new bullets."

Follow-up: The guy in question not only gets shot but also received a few charges as well . . . Either insult to injury or another reason not to mess with the KCPD.

The Show Me State doesn't stop for anything on two wheels: Missouri motorcycle fatality rates among highest

High property tax pushes biz out of town

From the KC Biz Journal: Higher taxes push Cheep Antiques From River Market to North Kansas City

Twisted Kansas City area dog killings!!!

Normally, I could care less about the plight of pooches in this town given that there are so many white people who will not only donate money to all kinds of doggy causes but also weep on camera and bring attention to canine issues.

Still, A BUNCH OF DEAD DOGS TURNING UP IN JACKSON COUNTY DECAPITATED (!!!) might be cause for concern if only because there is a (weak) connection between people hurting animal and then moving on to people.

On the bright side, these doggy crimes are taking place out in Lee's Summit and I never go out that way. Also, most serial killers are white guys and I have as little interaction with them as possible. Finally, if movies have informed me properly because I'm not a beautiful blonde with nice boobs in tight pajamas I really don't have to worry about being massacred by a serial killer.

Media renames "Million Fag March"

Apparently, self-deprecation isn't newsworthy . . . The recent "Million Fag March" in Topeka to protest the Phelps Klan was either politely called something else or entitled "The March for Love" which strangely sounds even more teh ghey than initially intended.

Kansas City submits to cyclists!!!

KCBike provides info on a plan for a network of trails across the entire city.

There will be public meeting filled with people feigning civic involvement, invoking phony minority participation whenever practical and mostly unconcerned with any real problems in Kansas City unrelated to their hobby . . . Issues like crime, poverty or lack of concern for people of color don't get much of a rise out of this crew . . . But biking is obviously really important considering how few people actually participate in this kind of self-indulgent garbage in KC.

Enjoy!!!

Bush signing in Kansas City!!! (Not as sexy as it seems)

Mary Anne from the KC about.com blog reports: Rainy Day Books announces this morning that First Lady Laura Bush and daughter Jenna will be holding a book signing on April 29th at Unity Temple.

Sign up for a walk with Scooter!!!

It seems like a fun way to get exercise and opportunity to meet new and exciting people!!! If the whole thing didn't pose an extreme danger of my eyeballs rolling right out of my head when contemplating the kind of jerks who would do this thing . . . I'd be there!!! Media alert: This is an opportunity to focus on a blogger doing something nice for the community that doesn't involve a scary political opinion which is mostly left out of coverage when it's not sanctioned by a corporate parent.

The pie just got smaller: Local barflys notice less business away from Electric Avenue

Other than pro-funk propaganda along with a way too optimistic outlook for Kansas City in the face of U.S. economic turmoil . . . Local blogger Toellner reports that bar business is noticeably down all over the metro as the P&L District clearly cuts into profits for local purveyors of the last legal drug.

KU victory will solve all of your problems!!!

Over the weekend there was a lot of celebration documented by the local media which has absolutely no consequence in the real world.

I'm sure the KU victory is a wonderful thing, but it doesn't exactly cure cancer.

Even better I loved all of the TV coverage of the streets in Lawrence in a frenzy.

The cast of characters at these kind of things is always entertaining: There's the woman who doesn't know anything about sports desperately trying to get attention. There's the old dude in the crowd that's completely unaffiliated with the University but needs some kind of excuse to keep drinking and hit on college chicks. And then there's the 7 year Senior who "has been waiting all of his life for something like this!!!"

And I'm not really picking on KU at this point either . . . This kind of celebration is a sporting tradition and the media loves reporting it.

On some level, it's understandable to show school pride . . . I notice that the local camera crews are still following the ongoing party as the school celebrates the return of the team . . . Then again this kind of adulation reminds me of the homecoming of soldiers from the Iraq war - They're usually only met by weeping family members and golf claps from distant relatives.

Apparently, there's a lot to be said for coming home victorious.

Anyhoo . . . Because I've never been a team player, or belonged to a school with a decent sports program this kind of celebration is always lost on me. It's nice to see universal adulation of a bunch of Black guys but it doesn't exactly make sense considering that the victory won't have much of an impact on the same d-bags out cheering in the street and their love for Black dudes stereotypically erodes when there isn't a sport of performance involved.

But, it's best not to question these kind of things. When drunken, college-aged women are out yelling in the street or even more strangely - Celebrating in Kansas City bars (WTF???) . . . The best thing to do is simply join the party, find a blue t-shirt and think of something nasty and slightly entertaining that rhymes with the phrase "rock chalk."

Reconstructing the Westside

Kansas City's best neighborhood once again faces the same kind of gentrification that we get in good economic times . . . Now land is cheap(er) and speculators could be moving back in . . . A note from a local community activist provides some interesting information:

In March of 2006 when the Sacred Heart Area participated in the recommendation of our Westside Land Use Plan to downzone our neighborhood, there were three properties that were left off of the legal description in the Ordinance #06014. They are located on the southeast corner of 29th/Belleview. Specifically 913, 917, and 921 West 29th Street.

Since the downzoning ordinance has passed, this property as well as the old Central Box Company have been sold to Home Investment, Inc.

On March 18th Case No. 13521-P-1 was presented to the City Plan Commission for these properties to be rezoned from R-4 (low apartments) to R-1b (one-family dwellings)

At that time the new owners asked for a continuance as they were not aware of the property being downzoned at the time of their purchase of the property.

On Tuesday, April 1st, This case will again be presented to the City Plan Commission. If you are able to attend and/or wish to testify, we are on the 9:00 AM Docket.

COMMUNITY MEETING SCHEDULED

MONDAY, MARCH 31, AT 6:30PM

2136 JEFFERSON (WESTSIDE CAN CENTER)

Folks with a stake in the neighborhood are invited to attend . . . Also, local real estate development cheerleaders can also celebrate any new construction project without any idea of its consequence. It's all good.

On the subject of Kansas City Dinner Parties OR why suicide seems like an acceptable option for some people

Found this article via Lukas. Also, I'm firmly convinced that Kansas City dinner parties are a circle of Hell even Dante was too scared to depict.

I like looking at your links!!!

It's not a slow news day . . . There is plenty of stuff going on but TKC was busy in the real world. Nevertheless, I always enjoy coming back to the net and looking at what the local bloggers have published . . . While I'm mostly disappointed (with a couple of notable exceptions) today I'm happy to see a bunch of great stuff out there that I'm anxious to start reading . . . Gimmie a sec.

Also, it's nice to see what the Pitch and Prime Buzz bloggers can come up with, without my guidance.

Because I care about you d-bags!!!

There is more than enough depressing and deadly news to blog locally but I wanted to start off with a simple warning:

KEEP THE DAMN CELL PHONES AWAY FROM YOUR HEAD!!!

For the most part, I couldn't care less about most of the d-bags who read this site but that doesn't mean that I want anybody to die. Over the weekend, (typically) a recent study revealed that there could be a connection between heavy cell phone use and malignant brain tumors.

The doctor involved with the study claimed that the risks "could be worse than smoking."

Thinking about the implications of this study, I realize that I can't go to any park, mall or even a restaurant in Kansas City without looking and listening to people gab on these stupid things while they place them to their head. And I don't trust that bluetooth crap either because it just seems like it puts the electromagnetic wave even deeper into your skull while turning folks into human antennas . . . Still, I guess any kind of headset is better than putting the damn cancer magnet thing next to your brain.

So be careful . . . The dangers of (relatively) new technology aren't always apparent in much the same way nobody can be sure of the impact that blogs are playing in the death of fact checking, journalistic integrity and the current downfall of print media.

Long story short: Technology is mostly for killing things, including users . . . And also Sarah Connor.

The TKC Saturday Night Playlist: The week Kansas City was cut to pieces!!!

The biggest story of this week (other than the Kansas City panty bandit) was probably the budget and the betrayal of Kansas City residents by politicos of nearly every stripe.

Here are just a few of the consequences of the budget cuts:

KANSAS CITY DOESN'T GET THE ADDITIONAL POLICE THAT WE WERE PROMISED!!! Once again, the political leadership in this town failed the citizenry when it comes to fighting crime.

There's very little money for street repair in the slash and burn budget - This was one of Mayor Funky's biggest promises during his campaign and his treacherous budget simply proved he was lying.

The Zoo will partially close or at least severely scale back. The gorillas will probably be gone in a year . . . I don't really care about this one but it's a tangible reminder that all of the talk about JoCo supporting Kansas City attractions just doesn't work in the real world.

Sadly, the cynical budget cuts don't really solve the financial crisis that looms over Kansas City and the United States . . . Eventually, they're going to have to raise taxes . . . It's coming a lot sooner than everyone thinks.

City Services could be severely impacted, Mayor Funkhouser irresponsibly took an ax to the employees at City Hall and the grumbling against his vengeful regime is now at a deafening level inside its corridors.

All things considered the budget debacle was a world class sellout that once again demonstrated Mayor Funkhouser's lack of political skill, dishonesty and ineptitude.

In honor of this boondoggle here are some songs celebrating lies, betrayal and cutting which define Kansas City's new budget:

Eurythmics - "Would I lie to you?"

Cutting Crew - "I just died (in your arms)"

Radiohead - "Knives Out"

Ben Folds - "Careless Whisper (cover)"

Fleetwood Mac - "Tell Me Lies"

Leonard Cohen - "Everybody Knows"

Jack Off Jill - "Strawberry Gashes"

Sheryl Crow - "The First Cut is the deepest"

Average White Band - "Cut the Cake"

Reel Big Fish - "Sell out"



In any event, none of the PR events in the news this week solved Kansas City's budget problems or the fact that this town is still sinking under the weight of so many white elephant museums and the impending failure of the P&L District or at least the inability of the place to generate enough revenue to pay off the bonds this cowtown borrowed. In the final analysis, the smart money is still on a downgraded economic outlook for Kansas City.

In any event, thanks for reading this week and have a safe and fun weekend.

Evening link roundup

KCK Teen Murdered In Drive-By Shooting

From a Kansas City estate blog: "Ever notice how school districts and property values go together?"

When making the streets safer doesn't make the streets any safer: Questions about Independence pursuit?

Get your grease somewhere else: Chubby’s closed temporarily

Do you know a South KC alcoholic? 7 DUI arrests at KCPD sobriety checkpoint

Billy Williams sings "Kansas City" circa 1965

The Pitch does better in Ad Sales than The Village Voice . . . In other words, print is a dying medium, Kansas City just slower getting to the same conclusion. Gawker reveals that former Pitch Editor Tony O., is taking a beating in New York.

Kansas City is critical

Police said four gunshot victims drove themselves to the hospital around 2 a.m. Saturday. Kansas City Police said the shooting occurred in the area of Swope Parkway and Agnes.

It's gonna be Gov. Jay Nixon

The Blue Blog reports . . . According to Rasmussen: Missourians Continue to Overwhelmingly Support Jay Nixon for Governor

Same Difference: Southwest is now Southwest Early College Campus

Still sucks but now the students who can consistently brave guns, arson and other students can earn up to 60 hours of college credit at UMKC which could facilitate a swift rise to the middle!!! In other local education reform news, putting lipstick on a pig is a pretty good trick as well.

TKC Exclusive!!! Outgoing School Board Prez David Smith doesn't support Airick Leonard West, as the incumbent runs a clandestine campaign!!!

Because there are so few people running in the upcoming Kansas City School Board election, there is a real risk that voters will get complacent and may not even care enough to cast their ballot.

TKC has long complained that the School District is a sinking ship but the fact that there are a few people working to improve the situation gives my cynicism just a moment of pause.

Currently, all of the Internets seems to be supporting Airick Leonard West and I begrudgingly agree that he's probably the last, best hope for the schools in this cowtown even though I despise groupthink and its dangerous consequences.

Strangely, support for Mr. West is not unanimous in the real world. Rumor has it that the outgoing School Board President David Smith hasn't given his blessing to the campaign of Mr. West and is still supporting the incumbent Bill Eddy.

IN FACT, The Star reports today that Bill Eddy remains on the ballot . . . TKC has dug even deeper (heh) and discovered that the dude's strategy might be to run a low key, secretive campaign in order to hold on to his seat. He could have suspended his campaign a week earlier or withdrawn altogether in order to avoid any confusion but (very) strangely did not. Smith is seemingly complicit in this effort by inaction and deed (or lack thereof) in his coy refusal to speak on behalf of West or offer him the slightest bit of support.

TKC has always contended that Smith is a bit of a d-bag given that he has not only presided over a District that has consistently neglected the embarrassingly high Latino dropout rate but also because he was found guilty of wrongly firing an employee because she disagreed with his bigoted hiring practices.

This current, secretive tactic seemingly put forth by Eddy and Smith in order to maintain the status quo is typical of the kind of deceptive maneuvers which have brought local schools to the edge of ruin. The most important part of this live, late breaking revelation is that it reveals Mr. West isn't a shoo-in and if Kansas City voters really want to facilitate change in the School District they should realize that the outgoing School Board President and so many others are working diligently to ensure that the misguided course which they've steered the district into cannot be changed.

The TKC Weekend Link Dump

The Flag is fairly well hidden at The Sprint Center.

Battle Station Kansas City: Aircraft plant may come to KC

Show Me another local fake out: "Did Sen. Chris Koster plant Molly Korth Williams as a fake candidate for Missouri attorney general?"

Kansas City Jazz band successful at something other than putting people to sleep.

A Wyandotte County jury has found the driver of a Kansas City, Kan., fire engine largely responsible for causing an accident that killed a man in 2000 . . . It'll cost the area's local government 500k.

Once again a bad economy(and Republican incompetence) puts education funding on hold: Missouri’s student loan authority will delay part of a scheduled payment toward the state’s college construction program because of financial losses and uncertainty over the credit market.

Life in Kansas City isn't easy for old folks: Police investigate second possible case of elder abuse

Summer Shipp to be buried

A sad conclusion to her story, another reminder that Kansas City's streets aren't as safe as politicos and corporate propaganda would like people to think.

How's it going? Are you flowing?

Kansas City Fountains get turned on April Fool's Day . . . Thank you Mr. Freud.

The killing doesn't stop in KCK

Two people suffered serious injuries in a double shooting Friday night, a teen was reportedly killed.

Kansas City's Black Panty Thief!!!

I have been remiss in my duties as a blogger for not highlighting a recent story about a Kansas City Panty theif and making it the most prominent story on the page. Think about it, this is way more important than anything related to the budget.

Here are some crucial links on the subject so I can get up to speed:

Kansas City burglar favors black panties

Panty Thief Strikes In KC

KC police seeking 'panty-raid' thief

Really, with 2 homes burglarized in the metro . . . NOW IS THE TIME TO TAKE ACTION!!! Once again, Mayor Funkhouser's lack of ideas when it comes to crime makes it clear that the residents of this town will have to fend for themselves at this crucial hour. Really, this thing makes the War of Terror waged in Iraq look like small potatoes or at best some red herring intended to prop up the military industrial complex.

Therefore, in order to keep women's undies as safe as possible I'm inviting every good looking woman in the metro area wearing Black Panties to take refuge with me in my mom's basement. Together, we can beat this thing (nullus) . . . TKC is all about security and I know that there is no better place in Kansas City for women clad in Black Panties than with TKC; the only true protector and and guardian of hot ass women in Black Panties . . . NO FATTIES!!!

TKC can't stand Chelsea Clinton

This doesn't really have anything to do with Kansas City but I was just thinking that I really don't like Chelsea Clinton. I don't have (or need) a good reason to back up this opinion, but there's just something I find disconcerting about her special brand of white privilege. Sure, she's brilliant (or whatever) and I guess it doesn't matter that her mom doesn't think much of her profession.

As of late, she's been quite beneficial to the Clinton II campaign . . . And her level of smugness and righteous indignation seems to signal that she's becoming an expert in adopting the family's hypocritical style; You'd hardly know they had to step over the dead body of Vince Foster to get this far.

Additionally, Chelsea looks like one of my ex-girlfriends who is now married to a rich Chinese dude and something about that always irked me - It's nothing personal or even anything against Chinese people . . . I just thought it was strange - She was into a lot of that Social Justice garbage and it's hard to play that angle in the corner of a so-called "model minority" I always thought, hoped, fantasized that she would date a Black dude to follow up TKC or at least have a lesbian fling.

Anyhoo, my bad vibes about the Clinton Clan are exceptionally important now because immigration has really fallen off the radar as far as an issue related to the Presidential Campaign - Still, of all the candidates I suspect that she would be the quickest to throw Latinos under a bus after they had consistently supported her. Therefore, all things considered, if she gets the nomination - I'm probably voting for McCain or writing-in myself.

"Overland Park Drivers Suck"

A blog entry regarding JoCo drivers isn't a new post from "Fate's Thoughts" but for what it's worth I think it's one of the most eloquent, brave and accurate passages I've read in the recent week.

A GREAT Question: "What was the Mayor thinking writing this letter?"

The Kansas City Blue Blog contemplates Mayor Funkhouser's latest embarrassment. Money line: We understand that recognizing you have no political capital, integrity or respect in this City can be frustrating for a first time Mayor . . . Maybe the post graduate degrees and experience should have taught him how to engage the community better.

Kansas City Double Take

Here's what a few of us have learned in the week that was:

We've got a new budget, it cuts City Services to the bone and leaves employees out in the cold . . . Even worse, it doesn't even come close to solving the City's financial troubles.

As usual, The Westside is stuck in the past and still planning pipe-dream, pricey development.

THERE IS A PANTY THIEF ON THE LOOSE IN KANSAS CITY!!!

There's also a lot of local dogs showing up hurt or dead . . . But I'll let white people worry about that since it's the only problem they take personally.

In the end, the media works for social justice . . . In situations that aren't the least bit important.

Kansas City is full of fatties!!!

I'm not surprised at all that Kansas City made the list of one of America's most gluttonous cities according to a recent Forbes Magazine study. Here are a few of the details:

Well known for its barbecue, Kansas City has a big appetite. Like other cities on this list, where a culture of food is closely intertwined with a way of life, that may contribute to high levels of obesity. In Kansas City, 26.9% of residents have a BMI higher than 30, which qualifies them as obese.

Actually, there are many ways to interpret this town's collective big ass and it's worth noting that the crap corporate food that slowly kills po'folk but is horribly convenient could play a factor . . . AND, there's an awful lot of crazy chicks around this place with food issues . . . Still, this headline shouldn't be used to think about why this town is fat as f*ck but instead is yet another wonderful occasion for media inspired self-loathing. Pass the snack cakes!!!

Spring Cleaning in Kansas City

Here's a collection of unrelated links for this evening and also a sad realization that Aria Giovanni is still smokin hot but not exactly what she used to be . . . Enjoy!

Springtime means it's time for propaganda related to Royals and a lot of talk about their high hopes for this season. The smart money is still on 100 losses.

Things aren't looking up in this cowtown: Kansas City’s economy likely to cool in the near term

The KC beer blog - Now without beer!!! Sorta.

The cries of the "Friends of the Zoo" went mostly unheard - A good thing.

No Fun League Strike Again: Because of a classic/typical Larry Johnson Cheap Shot NFL players might not be able to have long hair anymore . . . We all suffer when Larry gets catty.

Here are some weekend events and links from the Event Driver for those of you bravely planning to leave the house.

That whole Iraq "thing" still isn't going very well.

Have you seen suspected Case Park Killer?

Suspect Sketch Released In Carjacking Murder

Note the civic pride jacket!!! Nice.

Be careful at the club this weekend

Man, 33, critically injured in fight outside KC bar

Lights out for Liberty in Kansas City

I know, I know you've already heard about the budget cuts and the fact that they've caused Liberty Memorial to cut off the eternal flame (false advertising?) - I just like the headline and the fact that I was correct regarding that lack of public support for the pricey monument.

No respect: Funky angry letter has to remind everyone he's the Mayor!!!

First of all, it's nice to see Yael Abouhalkah swagger jackin TKC. HAHAHAHAHA! I can't really complain because I do the same thing to Dallas Penn but I still want credit for bringing silly hyperbole and a lot of bold type reminiscent of the KCTV5 announcer to relatively insignificant stories.

Anyhoo . . . Here's a bit of the whiny, angry letter to the Greater Kansas City Chamber of Commerce in which Funkhouser seems upset that the City Manager has more pull than he does:

"I am outraged that my input was not sought in the development of the chamber's recent resolution on the city's budget. I saw it for the first time when it was introduced at the board meeting. I raised concerns about the resolution. You and your board members listened politely and then called for questions and further discussion. There was none, and the motion to adopt the resolution was summarily approved.

"I have an MBA, an MSW and a PH.D. in public administration and urban sociology. I've spent nearly 20 years examining the finances of the Kansas City municipal government as my day job and teaching graduate courses in public finance at night. I know the numbers, the players and the history. I think I'm as qualified to discuss the city's current budget issues as anyone on your board. And I'm the mayor."

It's good stuff but essentially meaningless . . . A note to Mayor Funky: A real leader doesn't have to remind everyone that they're a leader.

Even better, I had coffee with somebody who has a bit of a connection to the business community and they called the move "political suicide." She noted, "You don't talk like that the to business community and then expect to have a good relationship with them afterwards."

Probably true and one of the many reasons KC's current mayor is known to have a contentious relationship with local business interests.

Kansas City was sold out by most of the political class during the budget crunch!!!

The phony budget crisis that Mayor Funkhouser created is now complete.

What Kansas City is left with is a total sellout of everything the Mayor campaigned on and yet another indication that Kansas City is beholden to suburban, big money interests that couldn't care less about the economic stability of this town.

There's enough blame to go around for everybody.

I think the conclusion that nearly everyone can agree upon is that Former Mayor Kay Barnes was probably the biggest contributor to Kansas City's budget dilemma. She gave away the keys to this city through the irrational and crazy use of TIF and this town was left holding the bag. Nullus.

But Mayor Kay didn't make Mark Funkhouser put forth stupid promises during his run for office. Every word Mayor Funky said regarding infrastrucutre and streets was revealed to be a lie during budget discussions given that he not only left little money for street repair but also cut City Services to the bone.

Most of the council, with the notable exception of John Sharp, was complicit. While they secured some cash for the City's reserves . . . Without question: THE EMPLOYEES AT CITY HALL WERE SOLD OUT!!!

To top it all off, long standing commitments to voters were neglected.

KANSAS CITY ISN'T GETTING THE ADDITIONAL COPS ON THE STREET WE WERE PROMISED!!!

I supported City Manager Cauthen during his row with Mayor Funky but there's no way the guy should be giving advice to the KCPD regarding how they should do their job. His comments were out of line and a poor excuse for all of the backstabbing involved in this budget.

From the dopey animals at the Zoo, that could've been actioned off at a BBQ, to the employees that will be left out in the cold - This budget betrayed a great many locals. Even better, THANKS TO THIS BUDGET BULKY ITEM PICKUP IS NOW BY APPOINTMENT ONLY!!! A few folks question what impact a cut in City Services would have and I believe it will start immediately with a lot more illegal dumping.

The so-called "compromise" from the council seems to be a cruel joke. The stand out in this budget sell out has to be Jan Marcason who has left a bad taste in my mouth more putrid than the time I sampled her potato salad - That's not a sex joke, she really makes horrible potato salad. Anyhoo, her support for this backward plan was key and if she had not hopped all over it like a ditsy "Girls Gone Wild" skank she might have helped to work toward a better plan. But no, she's gambling that the affluent folks in her district won't remember how she gutted this town of so many services. Put simply, Jan Marcason cost jobs and a great deal of the human resources that makes this "a City that works." Ugh.

Without a doubt, this effort led by Mayor Funkhouser never had the best interests of Kansas City residents at heart - Especially the "regular folk" he continues to cynically invoke while doing the best to cut their throat.

And here's another sad truth that has also been hidden in mainstream media coverage:

THIS SELLOUT OF KANSAS CITY AND ALL OF THE CUTBACKS STILL DON'T BALANCE THE BUDGET!!!

If the economy stays in its downward spiral (it will) and if Electric Avenue doesn't start generating some serious revenue (it won't) Kansas City could find itself in yet another budget crisis sooner than anyone thinks.

Leadership at City Hall already knows this, they just don't like talking about it and that's why TKC is the only media outlet brave enough to inform readers about the clandestine plan to raise the earnings tax. Sadly, it's the only solution this town has left given the failure of Bi-State II, the lack of support from suburbanites when it comes to a regional jail along with light rail which have shown us that Kansas City isn't going to get any help from our neighbors.

It would also be nice for millionaire pro-athletes along with all of those suburbanites commuting along I-35 every day to PAY THEIR SHARE!!! Really, suburban scumbags won't ever support another Bi-State boondoggle but if they want to do business in this City and not in the sticks, they should have to pay - It's the closest to a regional tax this town will get in the immediate or long term future.

But that debate is not quite here yet.

Currently, Kansas City must attempt to move on in the aftermath of one of the biggest local swindles since Bret Saberhagen got divorced.

Without a doubt, this incomplete effort has not only stripped Kansas City of its dignity but also made it abundantly clear that the Council couldn't stand up to Mayor Funkhouser and his tireless commitment to suburbanites and the upper-class. Kansas City is worse for their complicity and our continuing submission to Johnson County and corporate interests.

Friday's Feast with TKC

I need a 12th post this morning and a bunch of d-bag bloggers seem to be fond of the Friday's Feast thingy, so I think I'll give it a try. NO HOMO!

Appetizer

What does the color dark green make you think of?

My mom's old Volkswagen and a fur coat I used to wear with a cowboy hat - TKC used to dress much fancier during my "playa" days.

Soup

How many cousins do you have?

That depends on who has or needs money.

Salad

On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how honest are you?

That completely depends on the situation but for the purposes of this blog let's just assume that the number 1 AND 0 come into play.

Main Course

Name something that is truly free.

White women after their first divorce.

Dessert

Using the letters in the word SPRING, write a sentence.

She probably realizes I'm no good

Eh, that was fun . . . Sadly, there's no part of the meme that asks about useful methods for ditching the check.

Here are links to other Kasnas City feasters (???) eating out or something:

Heather cooks up some good answers.

Shane answers the grilling gracefully.

Logtar serves up some good answers as well.

Oh yeah, and then there's this dork.

Blogger Life: Always greener

Probably one of the best posts I've read from a local blogger as of late regarding the grass and the relative greenness on the other side.

Also, it's a great excuse to post Hanna Hilton in a green(ish) bikini.

I'm not going with the "Exclusive" lesbo story. I want to keep my credibility (heh)

Okay, this might be a let down and a real sign that this blog is losing its edge but for the moment I'm going to keep the lesbo story I promised to myself.

It was funny, edgy, sarcastic and misleading but my fear is that the d-bags on this site wouldn't have realized it was a joke.

Normally, I trust the readers of this site to take TKC with a grain of salt (and aspirin if necessary) but as of late the commenters around here have been insanely lame, humorless and not the least bit witty.

Like most content on the Internets . . . It would have been a "pearls before swine" situation and I really don't feel like testing the limits of free speech for any of you d-bags.

But I might later, so I'll keep this one tucked away for further use - As if it was one of my condoms.

My source on this story seems to agree with me on this one. Additionally, we all know it's unwise to make a lesbian angry . . . Finally, I really didn't have an upclose and personal relationship to the lesbianism that was alleged but I could still get lucky this summer . . . Note to self: Buy popcorn and a cheap camcorder.

One step closer to innocent? Finger Print Evidence against Edwin Hall is flimsy!!!

The defense lawyer says: Authorities could link only one of those partial prints to Hall, Paul Cramm wrote. The methodology used to make that determination also is subjective and untested.

Yet another Westside Real Estate Fiasco in the making!!! Dimwit activists bring in developers and their own demise or a just lot of wasted time.

I stand corrected . . . Mike Hendricks could be the greatest Westside advocate this neighborhood has seen since the time Cesar Chavez punched one of my Great Uncles in 1972. Or not.

News that an acclaimed developer is interested in the old West Junior building is mostly meaningless. Why? Because this country is in the midst of recession and could be on the way to a full scale depression. Put simply, there's no money out there for these stupid ideas circulating around. From a botanical garden to a ghey bathhouse senior center - At a time when Kansas City can't even afford to pay its bills or keep its promises it's unlikely a bunch of yokels are going to get anything done with an expensive eyesore that has lingered even during good times.

But what do I know? The global economy could turn around tomorrow and maybe a developer would pony up the cash for the pipe dreams regarding the place. I wouldn't mind one bit. Even better, a giant condo tower blocking off the sun from nearby residents is exactly what clueless activists would deserve for naively thinking that they had any real say in neighborhood development without access to a lot of cash.

Finally, the clueless column that Hendricks writes along with uninformed sentiment from neighborhood people who don't like talking about the downside of this part of town seem to be touting the "Villa del Soul" (heh) development as some kind of success when it actually represents one of the hotspots of Westside crime, thuggery and danger (Will Robinson) . . . So if that kind of B.S. is backing the initial stages of the plan I can only imagine the details that will spring forth when mixing subsidized (read: welfare) development with the lofty expectations of neighbors and most likely conflicting with the few, panicky private investors in this part of town.

This will make you lose your appetite: Kansas City School District lost $3.5 million on a 2-year food service deal!!!

When folks say that they wouldn't trust the he Kansas City Missouri School District to make a sandwich, they aren't kidding . . . The latest change up in a food service deal that proved to be yet another draink of the district is just a reminder of the massive scale of failure.

Kansas City Dog Gunned Down!!!

Another senseless dog tragedy made headlines last night and even aired before a couple of people who were murdered this week.

Also, a recent pattern of puppy violence in Kansas City gets more attention than the annual summer homicide spike that humans endure in this cowtown.

Late Night Kansas City Bus Crash

Fox4 reports: An accident involving a city bus on Thursday night sent six people to the hospital. A bus and a car collided at 63rd and Prospect and then a second car slid into the other side of the bus.

KCTALK ONLINE VIRTUAL CASINO!!!

Sign up for this town's best message board, check out THE AWESOME NEW FEATURE . . . You won't win any real money but there's a distinct possibility that either Venkman or Frank will offer you a million dollars to sleep with your wife (just wait for the check in the mail).

Kansas City theater and man chicken

There's a lot people have to choke down to get a little culture in this town . . . Luckily, I hate the theater . . . Still, AKCB provides an informative review of a recent show at The Unicorn.

All these links laying around

Lots of good stuff on the local net to link this evening/morning . . . It's almost hard to find the right place to start. So, I'll begin with hot ass Ukrainian model Olga Kurylenko who has nothing to do with Kansas City. And now, I think I'll take one my my customary 1 minute and 45 second breaks to "examine" the photo set.

A TKC lesbian tease (the best kind)

Friday just might be the best fun-day I've had planned in a long time.

God willing and courtesy of some AWESOME TKC TIPSTERS (Stand up!!!), I've got some SWEET inside scoop for readers that they will definitely want to see . . . BECAUSE IT INVOLVES LESBIANS!!! Or not.

You'll just have to wait.

I know, I know I hate this kind of tactic from other local media outlets but I think the payoff will be nice in this case. Also, I'm not saying that anything bad will happen if you don't see tomorrow's feature post like most TV promos . . . But you will miss out on some lesbian-y Kansas City Scoop!!!

It is accomplished

The budget passed today . . . It was mostly a disappointment.

The Mayor might have sealed his defeat in the next election with his actions and words.

The only thing this budget really revealed is:

MAYOR FUNKHOUSER SOLD OUT CITY HALL EMPLOYEES!!!

The so-called council compromise wasn't really a compromise at all . . . They wanted more funds for the reserves and they got them.

Other than that Mayor Funky got his purge of City Hall employees and once again revealed that he's the Mayor of this town's suburbs and couldn't care less about Kansas City's people, their services or employees in his own building.

Update: The details don't exactly work out in Funkhouser's favor either. Turns out he cut fund for cops, kids, streets and most of his other campaign promises.

Zoo, Police Cut in Kansas City's Budget

Kansas City Council approves budget

KC Budget Approved; Zoo Takes Hit

KC budget deal reached

TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! The NAACP doesn't support Mayor Funkhouser or the use of racial slurs in his office

Once again Mayor Funky is counting support he doesn't have . . . When it was revealed earlier this week that the NAACP was coming to Kansas City the Mayor was all to quick to a praise local leaders and give the appearance of some kind of consensus or support on his leadership.

Now rumor has it that there's a letter being drafted which will note that not all local NAACP officals stand behind the Mayor when it comes to the allegations of racial slurs THAT STILL STAND AGAINST THE MAYOR'S WIFE - the note should be on the way to Mayor Funky soon.

The move against Mexicans is Kansas is much more moderate than most imagined!!!

Toned-down immigration bill advances in Kansas Legislature

Kline uses Internets to evade critics!!!

Crime Scene KC: Phill Kline responds to the JoCo Commission

5k to prove Kansas City doesn't care about homeless or humans who aren't cute

5k Reward offered in case of decapitated dog

Kansas City's most gully blog is barely afloat

I haven't been inspired these last couple of day but strangely I still put up more garbage posts than most other KC blogs . . . My God I have to get rid of this Latino work ethic . . . Here are some (minor) links I've been reading. Enjoy:

The reward for information in the shooting death of a 25-year-old Raytown, Mo., man is increased to $11,000.

Celebrate a phony victory!!! I don't know a single person who got a survey: More than half of KC residents are pleased with quality of life, survey shows

Reign of terror is over (or something): Raytown man sentenced to 25 years for crime spree

Not as sexy upon second reading: Roeland Park Purse Snatchers!!!

KCK is on fire: Burned SUV Found Overnight

Help out this old lady: The Kansas City Police Department is trying to locate the family of an 80-year-old woman. She was found in the area of 93rd and Blue Ridge on Thursday morning

9 out of 10 dentists agree that the scumbags from JoCo don't want to pay their fare share. Politicos would rather ignore that fact: City and county officials express support for regional jail.

Oh yeah, and here are some more photos of that sexy Czech Chick.

Kansas City Serial Killer Convicted!!! Terry Blair found GUILTY!

From Fox 4:

A judge on Thursday convicted a Kansas City man of killing six women whose bodies were found in an area of Kansas City frequented by drug dealers and prostitutes.

Strangely, I don't think this will make life much easier for drug dealers and prostitutes . . . Still, it's nice to see some tangible progress in Kansas City rather than just overwrought political promises followed up by more of the same.

Big sentence for guy convicted of beating Bible store couple to death

A man convicted in the slaying of an older couple at a Raytown Bible store was sentenced Thursday to four consecutive life sentences.

Kansas City is kinda rough

Great headline from Crime Scene KC: KC police investigate after man is shot in the face

Funky two face tactics

Recently, Kansas City's Mayor made a nice speech on the Eastside.

The Mayor's crew had a headline they wanted to appear, few news agencies picked up on it. Here it is:

KC mayor wants help for East Side

Cute, it's a complete lie but cute nonetheless.

If the Mayor is so concerned with the Eastside or as he previously called it "The Black Part of town" then why is his Administration home to someone accused of using racial slurs?

Why has he consistently worked against or ignored the political leadership of that district?

Why has he made firing the first African-American City Manager in Kansas City one of the main goals of his administration?

Anybody can call a press conference . . . For instance I'm thinking of putting together a small get-together in which I celebrate the achievements of white guys in the field of interpretive dance along with a celebration of feminism. That should totally help my credibility.

Getting over the get together

Honestly, I would go to blogger meet ups if they didn't seem so completely lame and filled with so many folks I'm not curious about in the least.

The only good thing to come out of the mutual masturbation session (ew) was two new blogs of which I wasn't aware. They both look like great reads:

Fate's thoughts

Nuclear Buffalo

Of course, I'm a always a big fan of white broads and whatever they have to say . . . Luckily a couple of them offered a nice round-up that saved me a trip:

Spyder posted the most comprehensive look at the party.

General Blather noted that there was a bit of decent conversation.

Other than that, it mostly seemed like yet another forum where white guys want to dominate and do because of a lack of interest by anyone else . . . Very much like local government.

"Can you spell STYLIST?"

You were thinking it, RDM just had the courage to write it down.

"The only question I have is when are the Administration's attack dogs gonna quit blaming the media for any failures this Mayor encounters."

One local newsie laments the whiny complaints of Mayor Funk's men . . . Thing is, I've heard this very sentiment expressed by so many media people in this town.

Kansas City, let's think about basement repair because that's where I live and the bottom is falling out of the economy

Mary Anne's about.com blog provides a lot of info regarding the upcoming KC Home, Flower, Lawn and Garden Show . . . It's now a combined effort in much the same way that strippers usually have a drug problem as well. Or something.

Good stuff.

Here's all the date and time info from ThingsKC:

WHEN: Thursday through Sunday, March 27-30, 2008
WHERE: Kansas City Convention Center - Bartle Hall
TIMES: 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Thursday
11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Friday
10 a.m. to 10 p.m. Saturday
10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sunday

ADMISSION:General Admission $10
Seniors/Students $9
Children 12 and under free when accompanied by an adult.

Blonde jokes because I'm busy

The blonde joke could be the absolute lowest form of humor (other than constantly insulting the Mayor) but it'll have to do this morning because I'm working on other stuff - Another big post insulting the Mayor.

So, if you haven't seen it already, enjoy this "Man in the Box" episode regarding clueless white women . . . I found it interesting because I don't have much experience in an office setting (other than the laundry room in my mom's basement) and most of the clueless blondes I encounter are usually in a dank Kansas City bar or in my passenger seat listening to me lie about my future plans for marriage, gainful employment and anger management classes.

The overnight thread

TKC needs some sleep and maybe a little bit of stress "relief" this evening.

Enjoy the pic of Kelly Brook, all of the propaganda reported about the upcoming budget vote and your own company. Ugh.

Thanks for listening

For some reason, Wednesday seems to be radio day for me as of late. Still, I think both shows went well and I was pleased that I got a chance to listen to both Ms. Arzola and Mr. West.

Speaking of, I recently stumbled upon a Youtube clip of Mr. West and a lot of endorsements from the locals. Look for TKC in the background wearing a sombrero. That's how I roll.

¡Hola Kansas City! Learn a little Spanish and listen to School Board Candidates!!!

I don't know if I've mentioned this before but when I'm not eating snack cakes in my mom's basement, kicking ass on Xbox live or writing this blog for you d-bags - I'm an assistant on a local radio program.

Rita Valenciano (my mom ♥) is the host of ¡Hola Kansas City! - A community service program broadcast on La Playa, radio 1480 AM at 2-3 p.m. every Wednesday.

It's a bilingual show featuring guests talking about current affairs and their impact on the Latino Community.



If all goes right, TODAY AT 2 P.M. THE SHOW WILL FEATURE A BI-LINGUAL DISCUSSION WITH KANSAS CITY SCHOOL BOARD CANDIDATES AIRICK LEONARD WEST AND DOLORES ARZOLA!!!

The mainstream media is mostly ignoring the upcoming School Board elections as of late but I've noticed that local bloggers and the Internets have taken quite an interest. Therefore, if any of you folks out there have questions for the candidates . . . FEEL FREE TO LEAVE THEM IN THE COMMENTS and I'll share them - I'm the dude who writes the questions so there's a pretty good chance your comments will find a way to the candidates if they aren't completely lame - A distinct possibility.

Bi-State III?

A collection of thoughts regarding another bi-state tax is probably the best Kansas City blog post of the day from BlogKC but it's never going to happen because . . . Once again THE PEOPLE OF JOCO DON'T WANT TO PAY THEIR SHARE OF KANSAS CITY'S BILLS!!! If they didn't want to pay for the sports teams (the bi-state II failure) then they're not going to pay for infrastrucutre. Why? Because they are stingy, horrible people who only care about their SUVs and suppressing the political will of Kansas City minority communties. As TKC has noted and a few brave folks in City Hall will soon have to argue - RAISING KANSAS CITY'S EARNINGS TAX IS THE CLOSEST THIS TOWN WILL GET TO ANOTHER REGIONAL TAX!!!

Poor old lady left in her own poo passed

An 85-year-old woman who was hospitalized after she was found lying in her own waste has died, police said.

Gentrification Update: The Westside is getting older and a lot more teh ghey!!!

In Kansas City, progress is moving the working poor out of a neighborhood and bringing in a bunch of loft/condo dwellers along with a great many teh ghey folks who are a bit over the hill. It's all good, po'folk usually land on their feet (or in KCK) and the only constant in Kansas City is change (and gentrification).

Anyhoo, CAMPKC HAS A REALLY INFORMATIVE UPDATE ABOUT THE OLDER LGBT COMMUNITY concerning the Westside and the dating scene after 35 - Which is now as good as being a Senior Citizen. Ugh.

A community activist is working hard to promote a unique focus group about the possibility of creating a retirement community apartment building or housing for the LGBT community in Kansas City. It will be held at 7 p.m. Thursday, March 27 at Broadway Church, 3931 Washington St., Kansas City, Mo.

KC Mature Pride and the Mature Adults Gay Group
If you read the Internet dating sites, it usually looks pretty grim for anyone over 45. But life is not over after 35, as I can well assure you. There are a couple of groups in town that may agree, and they’re both holding events on the same day this month.

Mature Pride is a new social group designed for gays and lesbians over 35. Their next meeting will be at 4 p.m. March 22 in Community Room C at the Lesbian and Gay Community Center, 207 Westport Rd. Learn to play Texas Hold’em at the meeting!

Don't forget to read the rest of the community update from Camp KC, it's really quite informative and a much better source of information than all of the crybabies at The Pitch trying hard to act butch.

Even better, I think it's important for the readers of TKC to know that I'm not homophobic in the least - On the other hand I do get a tad scared when the locals talk about huge developments without any acknowledgment of the current budget crunch or the cost of any other their pipe-dreams.

But hey, any dope can produce happy talk for a column about the developments in Kansas City . . . Half of the message boards in this town are dedicated to that same topic.

By the way, NO HOMO ON THIS ENTIRE POST!!!

Listen up: Kansas City blogs and TKC on KMBZ in the morning!!!

Check me out this morning on KC's Morning News at 8:30 in the AM on KMBZ News Radio 980.

I'll be trying to get hosts EJ and Ellen to mention local blogger naughty bits along with other news from Kansas City's blogosphere.

Looking out on Kansas City could get you killed!!! (Other local links as well)

I'm in kind of a rush this morning, here are some of the most important links I"m reading:

DON'T FORGET THAT DOWTOWN ISN'T REALLY SAFE: "Police think a carjacking lead to a deadly shooting at Case Park, a popular observation point, in Kansas City, Missouri. That's near 8th and Jefferson."

Local doggy crime: Thieves steal Great Dane from KC man

Police board concerned about unapproved spending

AT&T worker struck by car

Typical, Kansas City man was sold out in Iraq: Insider betrayal blamed on hostage kidnapping

This town is cruel to you and your children: Hit and Run Injures Mother and Baby

A method to March Madness other than creating a minority underclass at colleges: Studies suggest that universities with winning sports teams see surge in interest in admissions, donations

Nobody wants a part of Kansas City's financial mess and empty museums!!!

National Park Service not interested in taking over Liberty Memorial

Note to Mayor Funky: Suburbanites don't want to help Kansas City pay for anything!!!

It's sad that the Mayor's learning curve is so slow on this one but the regional jail plan is doomed for the same reason that regional light rail was rejected: SUBURBANITES DON'T WANT TO PAY THEIR FAIR SHARE WHEN IT COMES TO KANSAS CITY PROPER!!!

Still, it's a fact and it's been proven time and again. Sorry.

Kansas City blogger quote of the day!!!

AKCB on this town's current Dog Park "problem" and one of the main characters in the drama:

"I’ve never met Deb Hipp, but I understand from folks who have had the pleasure, that she packs a phenomenal amount of crazy into a fairly small package."

Classic.

Blogger brings photo of Big Ass Scoreboard

The Royals screwed up one of the most awesome billboards in all of Major League Baseball. Kansas City Blog HeyCameraman.net has the evidence.

It was once considered the best scoreboard in baseball and now the GIGANTIC JUMBOTRON is simply more generic corporate garbage documenting more Kansas City failure.

A blogger builds it

A gully home improvement demonstration by Scooter J entitled "My Weekend Construction Project"

Who knew local bloggers could construct something besides flimsy arguments?

"How long for 4,000 more?"

A stellar post from TfK captures the majority of the sentiment I've seen on the local Internet and concern over further losses in Iraq.

Blogging KC Bridge problems before the mainstream media can bring it up

Close readers of RDM's blog might have noticed that he was writing about problems concerning the Blue Parkway Bridge BEFORE they appeared in the local media.

The Kansas City Shuffle

At it's heart "The Kansas City Shuffle" can simply be defined as a ploy involving misdirection.

Or, according to a recent movie, it's when Bruce Willis snaps your neck.

Even worse, the Kansas City Shuffle is EXEMPLIFIED BY MAYOR FUNKY'S BROKEN PROMISES REGARDING FIXING THIS TOWN'S STREETS. TURNS OUT HIS PANICKY BUDGET CUTS LEAVE LITTLE CASH TO BACK UP ALL OF THE BIG TALK!!!

Less than a year after his election, one of Mayor Funky's biggest promises goes out the window:

Mayor Mark Funkhouser had campaigned on spending more money on street repaving and had hoped to bump the number to $35 million.

Funkhouser said he was disappointed that more isn’t available now, but he hoped it would become available later. He said he didn’t know whether residents, who routinely cite streets as their top concern, would feel shortchanged.

Thing is, promises about this town's streets were THE ONLY reason so many people I know voted for him and supplied his razor thin margin of victory.

Sadly, his misdirection tactic worked and now the only part of his campaign platform that's being carried out is his bad style, pedantic manner and affinity for the Northland.

On the bright side, this Mayor is every bit as horrible, misleading and useless as I had imagined . . . Sometimes it feels good to be right. It's a nice way to start the day.

Waking up with TKC

I just awoke from a dream, Pam Anderson was in my bed and this song was playing.

The reality is: I have a few good bloggy ideas this morning.

It's almost as good.

And other stuff!!!

Big things are happening in my world, I may be in an exclusive deal with the son of the King of Nigeria. I have a good feeling about vast fortunes coming my way.

In the meantime here are a few local links that are worth ignoring:

THERE IS JUSTICE IN KANSAS CITY!!! THE SPELLING BEE STUDENT CAN COMPETE!!!

Suits killed in Kansas City as well: Man in Suit Shot & Killed at Lewis & Clark Point

WyCo lawsuit to prevent even more bankruptcies.

NEW WEBSITE TO CHECK OUT KANSAS CITY'S CRAP ECONOMY.

KILLING OVER STUFF STOLEN AT A GROCERY STORE ISN'T EXACTLY RIGHT!!!

Making milk safe!!!!

Stop snitchin was once called Omerta: Reward Increased In Cammisano Homicide

Local newsrooms are full of scumbags: Media blackout on plan to increase Kansas City earnings tax demonstrates middle class bias of most reporters!!!

There is an effort underway to increase Kansas City's earnings tax, it's only a matter of time before the public discovers the plan already in the works. TKC reported it first.

One of my reporter buddies who constantly tips me about local newsroom gossip told me that my EXCLUSIVE STORY (!!!) yesterday made waves with one of his favorite female newsies. Timid broad that she is, she asked permission to follow-up on the news TKC broke with actual (useless) quotes and research. Her assignment editor told her: "You don't want to pay higher taxes do you?" and then gave her some pointless event to cover related to traffic or a house fire.

Unfortunately, local news organizations don't like reporting tax increases in much the same way that they shy away from covering bad economic news in general or crime in minority neighborhoods - It's depressing, people don't like watching it and the audience makes its feelings known by switching the channel. It's always safer to broadcast perv stories or investigate the important difference between Tex-Mex vs. Authentic Mexican cuisine (actual local news item yesterday).

Anyhoo . . . The fact that the media isn't too curious about the issue is one of the many signs that they can't relate to any struggle not directly impacting the middle-class and their mostly suburban audience.

Still, the plan to increase the earnings tax is solid because it's a progressive tax and the only way to make the affluent suburbanites working in this town PAY THEIR FAIR SHARE!!!

Opponents of the tax increase are probably some of the most immoral people in the Kansas City area, here's why:

JoCo and over-privileged people in KC don't want any of the white elephants cut, they are raising hell over proposed cutbacks to The Zoo, all of the empty museums and Liberty Memorial.

These are the same JoCo people who want Kansas City and Jackson County to pay for the Stadiums but would reject a bi-state increase overwhelmingly - They did last time around.

Rather than skimp on any of this town's amenities - WHICH THEY DON'T PAY FOR - JoCo and suburbanites from around the area want the people of Kansas City to lose out on services that would undoubtedly decline if Funkhouser carries out his massive City Hall purge.

Put simply, this is yet another way in which JoCo people and suburbanites want Kansas City to pay for their entertainment . . . This time at the cost of City Hall jobs. Of course, more affluent people in Kansas City proper are also averse to paying higher taxes because they would be paying more and they are seldom reliant on the same City Services which are more frequently doled out to po'folk.

The answer to this dilemma that the local media has disseminated is either silence or straight out contempt.

Yael T. Abouhalkah is nothing more than Funkhouser's cheerleader at The Star and he not only casually dismisses the impending cuts to City services and THE PEOPLE WHO MIGHT LOSE THEIR JOBS at City Hall but also doesn't mention an earnings tax increase which is the most effective and immediate solution to the current budget crunch.

Similarly, Channel 9 has went on record in opposition to any tax increase.

The bias here is obvious and City Hall employees, po'folk and people relying on City Services will predictably suffer the most at the hands of corporate media. In this situation, as in most others, the tenure of Mayor Funkhouser has revealed that he was never serious about his campaign promises and he has consistently worked against Kansas City's poor and minority communities in order to support his popularity in the suburbs while maintaining the status quo.

Support a New Kansas City School Board!!!

TKC posted the info first, and then local white people jumped on board the Airick Leonard West Bandwagon. While I don't like group-think, I admire the sentiment and excitement for change and I'm hoping that local net folks might take a moment to learn a bit about a less celebrated, but far more experienced candidate also seeking change on the School Board.

Dolores Arzola is running as a write-in candidate in the first subdistrict. She has worked with the School District but now seeks a position on the School Board in order to help increase her role as an advocate for children. La Fonda El Taquito is hosting a fundraiser for Dolores Arzola this Wednesday, March 26th from 5-7 p.m.

It's also an opportunity to get to know Ms. Arzola and her ideas for change in the KCMO School District . . . Even more importantly, she's not exactly running unopposed even though nobody has officially filed for the spot. Infamous deseg lawyer Arthur Benson is also rounding up his big money buddies to push the guy for the same spot.

While West's candidacy has inspired many and was even mentioned in The New York Times, Arzola is simply a grass roots volunteer working for the interests of students against one of the people directly responsible for carrying out insurmountable damage against Kansas City Schools.

Ms. Arzola deserves a lot of support, the alternatives are either complete disinterest or the same recipe for failure which has landed Kansas City Schools in their current state of disaster.

Sleazy local spot looking to cross swords in a legal battle. Can there be a way to reach around the problem? NO HOMO!!!

Erotic City's owners sue over Jackson County ordinance

Tonight Kansas City mourns 4000 soldiers

Picked up this story from Brad Spangler's blog:

Join with us
Tuesday, March 25
for our Candlelight Vigil
Remembering 4000 American soldiers

7:00pm at JC Nichols Fountain
47th Street and Main, KCMO

Remembering, Honoring The Loss And Affirming That War Is Not The Answer

It sounds very heartfelt and amazing, I'll be watching re-runs of The Office.

Locals enlisted to write Kansas City's history: File it all under expensive, lame or boring.

The Kansas City Public Library is looking for people to pen their recollections of city landmarks, people and events.

Here's where local bums will be stealing bikes in Kansas City!!!

KC Bike.Info compiles a local "Bike Rack Map" - A great list of places where cyclists can come to the sad realization that their poser-y efforts don't really change anything and people are basically horrible . . . Or at least that's what I've heard from every local douche who has had their bike stolen or tampered with in between my chuckles.

The President's enabler is here!!!

First Lady In Kansas City Metro Today To Present Community Service Award . . . I admire her dedication, after all she's the same broad who got GW to give up his addictions.

Kansas City's screwed up priorities

Over the past couple of days a great many people have noted the injustice committed against a Kansas City spelling-bee contestant. The innocent Black woman killed in her doorway, not so much.

Time to make Payday loans pay

An issue on the April ballot is a fee for Kansas City payday loan businesses. If passed, owners would have to pay a $1,000 business fee . . . Credit experts say more and more homeowners are turning to payday loans to avoid foreclosure. The loans are easy to get, but have to be repaid in two weeks at annual rates topping 300 and 400-percent.

It's getting more expensive to persecute poor people and minorities in JoCo!!!

Early estimates to replace the Johnson County courthouse put the cost at $192 million. Upon further review the plan will now take anywhere from $305 million to $441 million.

Funky promises don't hold water: One year later Kansas City's water infrastrucutre is still falling apart!!!

Water main breaks in Waldo area

Kansas City could profit from machines built to kill brown people from afar!!!

The Star reports: Kansas City is a leading contender for a $375 million passenger jet assembly plant being considered for the United States by Montreal-based Bombardier Aerospace.

Notice the attempt to focus on the civilian side of the operation . . . It's not entirely true, simply intended to make people feel better and avoid protests. Still, in the end helping a company profit from the manufacture of war planes - only in a different department doesn't absolve a town of blood on its hands when those same planes manufactured by the company invariably inflict civilian casualties. . . Luckily, people from Kansas City could care less about the fate of brown people overseas or in most urban areas for that matter.

Missouri Multi-tasking is not murder!!!

Officials are trying to decide whether to file charges against a Missouri man who fatally shot his wife while trying to install a satellite TV system in their home. Patsy Long, 34, of Deep Water, was pronounced dead Saturday evening after being shot in the chest with a .22-caliber handgun. Her husband, Ronald Long, fired the shot from the inside of their home after several unsuccessful efforts to punch a hole through the exterior wall using other means.

My God you people are annoying

Yet another blogger meet-up. TKC won't even consider going to these lame ass endeavors until they start giving away door prizes to people of color. Call it reparations:

Date: Wednesday March 26, 2008
Time: 5:00 pm - OR UNTIL YOU TIRE OF SELF-OBSESSED WHITE PEOPLE!!!
Type: Happy Hour
Location: Jaywalkers Sports Bar & Grill
Street: 3916 Rainbow Blvd.
City/State/Zip: Kansas City, KS 66103

The blogosphere is all whtie!!! Or not.

Coming out against TKC!!!

Surprisingly, not everybody agrees with TKC. In fact, there are often compliants regarding my coverage.

Below is a recent response attacking my credibility (heh) that I think deserves to be featured . . . Also, here's a link to Playboy's Erica Campbell in a bikini - You decide which is more important:

Tony,

First of all, I want to thank you for writing positive and beautiful things about the West Side from time to time. I appreciate your help with volunteers concerning the Westside Beautification Committee. By the way, I'll be asking you to post once again the first or second week of April, when we'll be doing spring planting of cannas and other flowers. We just received a small donation from the Economic Development Corporation for the purchase of spring flowers. I'll keep you posted. We also have a very good chance of Summit Street being selected by the Cancer Society for its official planting of thousands of daffodils, which is the Society's symbol. They choose different locations annually for this cancer awareness project.

Regarding your posting today, I want to clarify that Mike Hendricks did not approach me concerning the West Junior High building article that appeared in this morning's paper. I approached him and other reporters from the Kansas City Star as well as Joe Arce of the KC Hispanic News. The Hispanic News ran an in-depth, front-page article that came out this past Thursday.

I sincerely feel that Hendricks nailed the issue of horribly blighted schools on the West Side as well as surplus schools all over the city. In today's posting you mentioned that he only knew one dude from the West Side: me. I don't know what's up with you and Mike Hendricks, and I really don't care, but when it comes to misconstruing the issue of Westside development and preservation of the old West Junior and Switzer buildings, I care a great deal.

The main idea that I wanted to get across to Hendricks,and which I did, was that the School Board has been a very bad neighbor for decades. My main concern is that the School Board either use the buildings and make them beautiful again, or sell them to a developer that will be a visionary and open to community input.

The idea of a botanical garden was never at the top of my list. At the top of my list for that location is affordable senior housing. Here are just a few more ideas that I'm very interested in as well: grocery store, banks and other amenities associated with senior housing, indoor city market (mercado), coffeehouse, restaurant, condominiums, other retail space. The garden idea is just one of many.

I'm talking to Tony Salazar, of McCormack Baron Salazar, who is interested in developing this property and who I understand talked to Westside Housing about partnering with them for the development of senior housing at this location as well.

What would you like to see done with that location, Tony? I would really like to hear some feedback.

I've taken the time to write you all of this because I feel that you misconstrued and misrepresented my ideas for that development. My number one focus is to save those buildings, and my number one preference is to see senior housing at that location.

If you would only have taken the time to e-mail me or return my phone call, this misunderstanding could have been avoided. I sincerely hope that you accept this letter offered in the spirit of improving communication. I know that your blog is a joke blog, with lots of satire. But when it comes to your stating that the author of the article misrepresented the truth when it was actually you who did so by declining to inform yourself, then I think it stops being satire and becomes misinformation. And misinformation is worse than no information.

I'm not being petty but only desire to communicate the truth about this very important piece of real estate in the middle of the West Side that has become more and more blighted over the course of three decades. PLEASE POST THIS ON YOUR BLOG.

Sincerely,

Alfredo Parra

Whew . . . There, I hope we all feel better and hopefully when I actually have time to read the news rather than just copying and pasting, I'm sure I'll be better informed. Until then, I'll probably just keep looking for photos of big booty white women in popular men's magazines and maintaining the illusion that I care about community current affairs. It's a good racket and might even be just as important as ignoring the current budget crisis, dreaming up pie-in-the-sky unworkable plans and defending the honor of suburban, white columnists from big media outlets. Your mileage may vary.

Politicos don't believe in protest: A sign of the erosion of free speech in Jackson Couny

Here are some overly restrictive and probably unconstitutional new regs against a thin piece of cardboard and a political message: A committee of the legislature recommended a policy that requires people to keep signs from obstructing views of those at the meeting. Signs would best be kept to the rear of the room, the policy states. In addition, anyone who wants to bring a sign to the meeting has to let the sheriff’s deputy at the meetings know ahead of time.

Some folks in Kansas City can't even open their door without getting shot

A man was hospitalized after he was shot early Monday morning while answering a knock at his door. The shooting at the apartment complex in the 11400 block of Colorado Avenue was reported at about 6 a.m. yesterday . . . There were no arrests.

Kansas City should keep looking for new industry, EV could spark new growth

Forsythe should have been elected to the City Council, in fact, he's got my vote for Mayor. He's one of the few guys who is consistently forward thinking in their approach to Kansas City and our economy. His recent post about the error of singularity of focus when it comes to economic development in this town along with new opportunities on the horizon is THE KIND OF THING WE SHOULD BE HEARING FROM KANSAS CITY POLITICOS!!! The ideas are certainly a lot more inspiring and electrifying than so many Kansas City leaders simply looking for a way to slash services to the bone or pass on systemic problems to the citizenry in the form of higher taxes and fees.

KC tragedy concluded, Iraq mess contines

Remains Of Kansas City Man Recovered In Iraq . . . RDM has a REMARKABLE, MUST READ on the topic.

Last chance to tell Mayor to spare City Hall jobs i.e. massive cut in Kansas City services

Mayor to Host One More Town Hall Meeting Before Budget Vote

Strip Clubs aren't a problem: "Topeka has more strip clubs per capita than any other place in Kansas."

Lawrence blog Evolution-Nextstep considers some silly upcoming Kansas legislation and offers a frightening look at the Sunflower State with overly regulated strippers.

Rule #11: A blog post about blogging is one of the best substitutes for content

The X-man shares what he's learned about blogging.

Maybe one of the best ideas I've ever read from a broad: The Reverse Strip Tease

May's Machete introduces Kansas City to the "reverse strip tease" . . . Actually, I've seen a couple of these and it's pretty cool but without a "Happy Ending." Here's what this local blogger writes on the subject:

"I find the best way to start the ball rolling with this is to prance around naked after a shower and tell my man to follow me to the bedroom. Sit him down on the bed and shimmy about while you pick out your outfit and throw it piece-by-piece on to the floor. Because then you expose more bending down to pick it all up again as you start putting your clothes on. I find it's best to start with the bra & shirt and work my way down from there. Of course, there's always other ways to get dressed, but that's my personal favorite."

Again, I'm impressed with this idea but a couple without a lot of self-control could end up being 1 minute and 45 seconds behind schedule after this kind of stunt.

"The Governor's decision means that energy prices will skyrocket on the back of Kansas Consumers"

Stay Red Kansas considers the recent decision of Kathryn Sebelius regarding the coal plant bill. UPDATE: A new bill is on the way.

More on Jackson County's molesting former law enforcement offical

The Midtown Miscreant posts a thoughtful analysis of the situation.

"Easter Trampoline Egg-straviganza"

I was going to title this one "The Future of Kansas City is up in the air" but I think this young Kansas City blogger had an excellent (or egg-cellent) idea in making Easter family dinner a bit more tolerable: A trampoline.

Sailing into Spring

They've been talking about Spring for three weeks. I think this might be the first week we get to take a consistent look at it in Kansas City. It's almost a cause for celebration considering the fact that we're in late March and far closer to the horrible Summer humidity this town endures than anybody would like to think.

Speaking of changing seasons . . . There's a long running stereotype about time and its cruel(er) effects on women, I recently stumbled upon a photo which proves that's not always true. Check out a couple of the Breakfast Club members more than twenty years later:



Molly looks much better than Judd, maybe it's because she's a health nut veggie broad. I don't know . . . But I believe in the power of white women. Then again, recently I ran into the father of an old high school buddy and he looked exactly the same as when I was a kid - So there could be hope that Latino dudes are sometimes equally ageless . . . I know that I'll probably never cease my "interest" in white broads, snack cakes and conspiracy theories. One of those is bound to keep me young i.e. naive.

Black People love Funkhouser!!! Or not. NAACP is coming to Kansas City after all.

Word is out that the NAACP is coming to Kansas City after scaring this town half to death with talk of a boycott in solidarity with La Raza.

Thankfully, because of public pressure and because the broad was half crazy . . . The minutelady who started the whole thing folded under pressure and resigned while putting a mid-sized party over her commitment to public office in Kansas City - Funkhouser stood by her still she quit.

This isn't really a victory for Mayor Funky given the rampant racial divisiveness in this town that the convention could address along with the fact that the Mayor's wife still stands accused of using racial slurs and one of other Black women working in the Mayor's office reportedly left over other hurtful remarks made by Shoeless Gloria Squitiro.

All things considered, a certain element of this mulit-million dollar convention could focus arount anti-Funkhouser rhetoric . . . On the bright side, Kansas City's economy really needs the cash no matter how much the visitors deservedly slam the Mayor and his many misdeeds.

TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! The only way out of the budget crunch is to RAISE KANSAS CITY'S EARNINGS TAX forcing suburbanites and the rich to pay their share!!!

I was a bit worried this morning when I noticed a well-researched and informative article about Kansas City's earnings tax by Lynn Horsley.

I was afraid the Star was going to break some recent, widely noted rumors around City Hall.

Thankfully, they left the news to TKC once again:

THE NEXT BIG BUDGET PROPOSAL INVOLVES RAISING THE EARNINGS TAX IN KANSAS CITY!!!

Frankly, as we reach the zero-hour of the discussion, I couldn't agree more . . . For once this City is on the verge of putting forth a progressive tax which imposes a levy so that the effective tax rate increases as economic well-being increases.

For too long this town has coddled the upper-class, given them nothing but subsidies and made po'folk pay for all of the attractions like pro-sports they could never afford.

Finally, it's time for these people to pay their share!!!

Sadly, one of the things standing in the way of this move is Mayor Funky's newfound friendship with conservatives in the region. This move will obviously undercut his conservative credentials and he knows it, according to AWESOME TKC TIPSTERS Mayor Funky is trying to squelch this talk through back channels before it embarrasses him in the mainstream press - Once again The Star is complicit in keeping this talk quiet.

If Mayor Funky refuses this measure to raise the earnings tax then it's clear he really doesn't care about the budget but if he agrees than all of those talk radio callers will brand him a socialist without hesitation. Given the fact that Mayor Funkhouser has never stood up for any principle but self-promotion I don't really feel sorry for him now that he's in an impossible situation. Still, Kansas City's interests are for more important.

Here are some of the reasons why sources in the midst of the current budget debate are touting THE PLAN TO DOUBLE KANSAS CITY'S EARNINGS TAX over the next few years.

Obviously, doubling the tax, doubles the revenue it takes in . . . A lot of it is discretionary from this source, just the kind of cash that politicos like!!!

As I noted previously, it's a progressive tax . . . The more people make, the more they pay: The affluent will feel it far more than po'folk. There's also some talk of only applying the increase to the upper-income brackets but since the financial crunch is so bad, it's doubtful KC would give up any money according to my sources close to the center of this controversey.

This will truly be a regional tax aimed at all of those d-bags who work in Kansas City, enjoy local amenities but then take all of their disposable income back to the suburbs!!!

It's kind of ironic that in order to truly work toward solving this budget debate, Mayor Funkhouser might have to abandon one of his most outspoken constituencies - Affluent white people. Still, if Mayor Funky doesn't seriously consider this move to bring in much needed revenue to Kansas City then his bluster about fiscal responsibility will seem just as empty as all of the other campaign promises which he has already abandoned.

Maybe we can all move on: Mayor Funky wants to make up with the Mexicans

Despite the will of suburbanites on the edge of town, Mayor Funky is working to improve his relationship with the Latino Community in Kansas City.

First of all, while he gave up on the idea of a one person Office of Immigrant Affairs he's now looking to form an Immigration Task Force comprised of the same white women who led a march against the Minutemen, only this time they'll be working for free rather than his first pricey idea.

Additionally, according to a bunch of very proud lower tier leaders the "Latino Leadership Meetings" are once again scheduled . . . Only this time, rumor has it, there won't be an invitation to the likes of Cris Medina or anybody who ever voiced their opposition to the guy.

Essentially, this is a good move . . . The more representation for Latinos at City Hall, the better. Still, this piecemeal attempt to heal old wounds probably won't help among the political elite and the sad fact is that the "regular folks" with whom Funkhouser is more comfortable with in the Latino community don't have the ability to organize voters or wield much influence . . . Additionally, history has shown that Latinos who side with Funkhouser end up being insulted and betrayed by the Administration.

Still, hope spring eternal and I think that an attempt at reconciliation is the right thing . . . In fact, as Kansas City's most important Latino I think I should get an invite to these meetings in order to offer my concerns . . . TKC is most likely the only person brave enough to offer an unbiased view of local Latinos, ignore the silly effort to try and divide the Westport/Westside Latinos from those in Northeast and even tell Ms. Squitiro to put on some shoes.

Uncle Sam's Lodging House

Featured above is a political cartoon entitled "Uncle Sam's Lodging House" published around 1882. The cartoon depicts Uncle Sam holding his ears as an Irishmen either complains about his situation, demands rights or does something that made the petty bourgeois paranoid.

Second caption reads: "UNCLE SAM [to Irishman]: 'Look here, you, everybody else is quiet and peaceable, and you're all the time a-kicking up a row!'"

Sadly, this same kind of rhetoric is used unsuccessfully today against Latinos:

Puck's accompanying editorial was virulently anti-Irish: "the raw Irishman in America is a nuisance, his son a curse. They never assimilate; the second generation simply shows an intensification of all the bad qualities of the first. . . .They are a burden and a misery to this country." Further, Irish had corrupted our politics, lowered the standards of domestic service, and waged an "imbecilic and indecent war" against the English government. The time had come to clear the Irishman from Uncle Sam's lodging house, where all races and nationalities, except the Irish, got along with each other!

Once in a while I just like to go through old images like this one in order to remind myself that anti-immigrant efforts have always been historically unsuccessful in this nation and some of the very same decedents of people who were once persecuted because of their immigrant roots are now more than eager hold other people back.

Spring means more shootings

Fox4 reports that someone was seriously injured from a shooting at a South KC apartment complex this morning

Mike Hendricks only knows one Mexican

When d-bag Mike Hendricks isn't supporting the Minutemen or massaging the prostate of Mayor Funkhouser . . . Like every other Johnson County suburbanite he's trying prove how many minorities he knows.

Sadly, he's failing when it comes to local Latinos and mistakenly reuses the only dude he can remember from the Westside as a primary source. In today's childish, hack column Hendricks talks with a Westside Activist TKC knows and comes away with a really bad idea that's completely unworkable considering the horrible local economy: The move to do something with blighted West Junior High School.

Just like TKC, Hendricks' work is filled with errors, inconsistencies and pretty much misrepresents the economic situation in this neighborhood completely. I'm a blogger, what's his excuse?

Hendricks talks about the long ago building boom that now went bust, he uses Jared Allen's tax write off as proof of a revival and then fails to actually note the idea that his main source for the story his touting.

TKC has long linked Alfredo Parra's work for the Westside Beautification Committee but I bet Parra is a tad upset that Hendrick's didn't mention his idea of a botanical garden for the old West Junior site . . . The good hearted but completely unworkable plan is the reason TKC passed on the story, whereas The Star is content to only publish half of the details regarding the issue just like they usually do with any minority concern!!!

While I respect Parra, I've long ago given up hope that Hendricks will do anything but turn in the most stereotypical stories . . . The idea is just bad, he knew it so rather than convey the whole story to readers he omitted the important detail and skewed the perception of what's really happening in one of Kansas City's neighborhoods.

Still, despite yet another example of the lack of any kind of consistent ethics policy at The Star TKC already has a better plan: A world class stripper emporium for the old neighborhood school!!!! Really, it's the only decent idea that will not only enhance the culture of Kansas City but also make a profit - Two things that all of these museum/white elephant backers in Kansas City have always failed to accomplish.

What's the matter with Kansas? The Republican majority are a bunch of cheap bastards.

Thanks to Republican brilliance the minimum wage for the state of Kansas stays at $2.65 an hour . . . The lowest in the country and lower than the fed minimum wage, pretty much low enough to ensure the only people making that kind of cash will be illegal immigrants, but that's another discussion, right?

Kansas City Dog Park People want to hear from you but only if you agree with them

The city's Dog Park Task Force Advisory Committee is seeking public input (heh) about establishing dog parks throughout the area . . . Sadly, all opposing views will be met with screaming and will be rudely shouted down, it's kind of a Kansas City tradition.

Kansas City awash in Counterfeiters

Yet another sign the economy is crap in and around the metro: Counterfeit money orders appear in Kansas City area.

Smokin' Kansas City

Kansas City's smoking ban takes effect today . . . Or, today marks the first time in this town when a waitress will have to decide between her lungs or a decent tip from nicotine addicts.

In all of this I'm just surprised that Casino floors make people immune to second hand smoke and lung cancer . . . That's just another reason to give away more money along with people who don't know a thing about probability or statistics.

Even better, the ban on the ballot April 8th will actually make smoking easier at the local stadiums.

And all of this would be a great reason to lose faith in Democracy if not for the fact that so few people show up to vote on any of these concerns.

Local Latino Crime Challenges My Stereotypes!!! (and yours)

Over the weekend, the homicide of a Latino guy was reported in Kansas City's press.

When I first learned that the dude had died in my neighborhood and was subsequently found in a ditch I figured it was probably a drug killing.

Turns out it was a the ghey tryst gone wrong.

The boyfriend of a man whose body was found at a Kansas City industrial park this week has been charged with killing him.Jose Arturo Banuelos-Arteaga, 27, of Kansas City was charged with second-degree murder and armed criminal action in the death of 36-year-old Sergio Hernandez of Independence, the Jackson County prosecutor’s office said Saturday.

On Wednesday, a security guard found Hernandez’s body in a drainage ditch at the Downtown Industrial Park off 31st and Terrace streets.

According to court documents, Banuelos-Arteaga allegedly met Hernandez March 15 in a parking lot near Roanoke Park, where they argued in Banuelos-Arteaga’s Ford Explorer about ending their relationship. During a struggle over a knife, Hernandez was stabbed.

Of course my condolences go out to the families of the folks involved in the deadly altercation but if there is a bright spot in the tragedy (probably not) it's that Latinos are still likely to end up dead over love than simply because of drug money . . . Personally, I'm hoping to die in the middle of an orgy at a snack cake factory at the age of 150 but then again, I've always been an optimist.

Kansas City Author Jack Cashill is either completely crazy or an absolute genius regarding his attack on Hillary Clinton!!!

The people of Kansas City, like TKC, love a good conspiracy theory AND negative campaigning . . . Putting the two together almost insures success either among the talk radio crowd or the hippies that protest on the Plaza right after brunch.

As of late Kansas City author and Ingram's Executive Editor Jack Cashill has been getting some renewed interest in his decade long obsession with the crash and conspiracy related to TWA Flight 800.

In Cashill's latest article on World Net Daily, where crazy people go for their information, he pretty much blames Hillary for the alleged/implied/conspiracy/tinfoil hat act of terrorism regarding the doomed plane . . . The only thing that surprises me is that the editors can't find a photo of her holding a missile launcher.

Cashill boldly, bravely, with a straight face asks . . . "Hillary: Where were you at 3 a.m. July 18, 1996?"

Thing is, Clinton isn't the first person Cashill has saddled with this instance of made-up terrorism . . . The culprits, not so strangely, all happen to be Democrats running for President. His reactionary motives seem obvious, but I don't want to get into conspiracy theories myself not only because I've yet to go completely bonkers but also because all of my fantasies conspiracy theories involve alien women (blonde, not Mexican) with three boobs taking me away to their orgy planet. But I digress.

Here are some other politicos Cashill has blamed for the alleged instance of terrorism on U.S. Soil:

Billl Clinton
Al Gore
John Kerry

Still, the guy obviously knows his stuff on the subject given that he has filed dozens of his stories on the topic over the years . . . I doubt the 9/11 Truthers will have as much dedication to their crusade once they get out of college and uncover all of the other lies which hold up our Democracy/consumer economy like marriage and the benefits of hard work. On the other hand, if Cashill eventually turns out to be right that will give the U.S. the extra push to win in the failing Iraq and Afganistan campaigns, right?

Anyhoo, it's not like I want to defend Hillary from vitriolic, unfounded, slightly off-kilter accusations; especially since she's made so many of her own. It's just nice to see that Kansas City has a place in the paranoid and fear based discussion of terrorism in American politics given the absence of any real threat from radical Islamic terrorism in this cowtown.

Kansas City's Eastside now mostly vacant

Lots of great, depressing bad news in The Star today, it's nice to see there's no more talk of "economic resiliency" as a great many writers do their very best to imitate Steinbeck, especially when noting all of the vacant Eastside lots in this town that everybody else has been talking about for the past 5 years.

Every Easter tradition should be meaningless: Leawood folks and homeless celebrate mass then go separate ways!!!

KSHB reports the country's largest Methodist church, Leawood's Church of the Resurrection, and downtown K Kansas City's Grand Avenue Temple celebrated the life of Jesus together downtown . . . The Church of the Resurrection is located in one of the nation's richest suburbs while the Grand Avenue Temple has a membership that is about 90 percent homeless, so at the very least they won't be upset when they don't get any return phone calls.

Kansas City Council Lady Temper Tantrum

Local newsie Laz recently reported a bit of behind the scenes scoop about a recent City Hall outburst: "As we were interviewing councilwoman Deb Hermann, councilwoman sharon sanders-brooks was throwing a temper tantrum in the hallway about something and then went to her office and slammed her door. Quiet funny seeing grown folks act like a 5 year old."

Kansas City Chorale

Here's a nice, quick clip of The Kansas City Chorale brought to us by another local vlogger covering a few local events recently . . . Don't worry I'm not trying to class this place up at all.

Consider it a nice interlude.

4000

No commentary I can offer is needed on the current and seemingly never ending disaster in Iraq, if you are a Kansas City blogger writing on the subject, I'd be glad to link to what you post and I'll be looking for more throughout the day.

Here's the best of what I have already:

"You expect me to believe that we're safer here at home?"

"For what?"

Alright, I was just looking for some local blogger posts and I was sad to see that it's a bit to early (4 a.m.) too start thinking about death, depression and failure . . . And a lot of local bloggers are too busy posting photos of pets and a fun Easter weekend. Ugh.

Looky here

I have a few new ideas for this blog that I'm going to try this week. Nothing fancy but stuff that I've had a bit of fun with in the past. I've noticed that Bloglines now displays embedded videos which is a nice touch that should allow me to post clips of nearly naked, hot ass, big titty women in their late 20's.

All things considered, things are looking up in the bloggy world as of late . . . Either that or new(ish) photos of Gemma Atkinson as a brunette in Loaded Magazine are better than I initially realized.

The TKC Saturday Night Playlist: Fear of Black Jesus and Happy Easter from local blogs

Strangely, tonight's playlist is composed almost entirely of music by white people but I like the title nevertheless.

Rather than post my own hackneyed comments regarding the fact that I've always thought Jesus was Black but He could have been Muslim for all I know . . . I've decided to share some of my favorite posts from the local blogosphere wishing everyone a Happy Easter.

Here goes:

AKCB recently published a satisfying Happy Easter message!!!

Then there was a Happy Easer Peep Show from Relentlessly Optimistic.

Hip Suburban White Guy shares a few Easter cartoons!!!

And, I think a Topeka library has the right spirit as they recently displayed a drawing of Jesus by convicted killer Perry Smith of "In Cold Blood" fame.

Still, the thing I've always loved about living in the Midwest is that there are many representations of the Big JC . . . From the forelorn, beaten and bloodied sad Catholic Jesus to the triumphant version the Evangelicals tout to other "takes" on the Son of Man:



It's all good, very much like tonight's playlist brought to you by Seeqpod and hosted by remote servers around the world (not me):

The Doobie Brothers: "Jesus is Just Alright"

Stevie Wonder: "Have a Talk with God"

Violent Femmes: "Jesus Walking on the Water"

Tom Waits: "Jesus Gonna Be Here"

Mindy Smith: "Come to Jesus"

Soundgarden: "Jesus Christ Pose"

George Michael: "Jesus to a Child"

The Vaselines: "Jesus don't want me for a sunbeam"

Slayer: "Jesus Saves"

They Might be Giants: "Kiss me, Son of God"



Thank you for reading this week. Have a safe and fun Saturday Night. God Bless.

Missouri Republicans caught wasting tax dollars on efforts to campaign against illegal immigrants on college campuses despite a lack of evidence!!!

The KC Blue Blog files a groundbreaking post which reveals a recent statement issued by MU as a response to a recent Republican anti-immigrant bill saying that "there has not been a case of a single illegal immigrant attending our college" which is probably the case across the state. They also said that "paperwork for application and financial aid already require students prove their legal status..."

The Bridal Bomb Threat

KSHB reports that someone called in a bomb threat to David's Bridal at the shopping center near Little Blue Parkway and Jackson Drive . . . It was phony, very much like most weddings I've had to attend.

JoCo politico plays politics with Teri Zenner

Prime Buzz reports that JoC0 Commissioner Doug Wood said that "had there been better policies in place before Aug. 17, 2004, on how to track the location of caseworkers in the field visiting clients, Teri Zenner may be alive today." You decide if he's making a valid point or exploiting a tragedy.

AMAZING BLOGGER POST . . . "America's new slavery: Black men in prison"

RDM on the case of former Jackson County Sheriff's deputy, his exploits and the prison industrial complex. A must read.

TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! FUNKY PRIVATE MEETINGS COULD BE A FORM OF RETALIATION!!!

TKC Tipsters stand up!!! This post is dedicated to longtime readers of this blog who know all of the characters to which I refer:

Kansas City's top politico wants to slash and burn City Hall employees. The move has essentially made him persona non grata at City Hall.

Additionally, there is the looming EEOC complaint that threatens to take down the guy's REAL Chief of Staff leaving only the overpaid Mr. Monopoly to try and run the show after sitting around mostly powerless and taking down 250k annually. But it gets worse . . .

THE BUNKER MENTALITY HAS KICKED IN AMONG THE FUNKY BUNCH!!!

So much so that they can't even meet at City Hall and are forced to take their discussions to "the front porch."



I was sent the top photo yesterday alleging that the Funky Bunch is meeting in secret to plot against a fellow employee . . . I don't even know if that's Mr. Stubborn's driveway but I do know that the same allegations are floating all around City Hall. (Editor's note: Cutouts were employed to protect any personal identifying information)

Even worse, rumor has it that the person who filed the EEOC complaint isn't invited to front porch shindigs anymore now that she has dared to speak out against the racial slurs thrown about by the Shoeless bigfoot wife.

There are accusations that this is a clear cut case of RETALIATION!!! If true, the talk is 100% correct and Funky is naive to think that nobody notices his exclusive and exclusionary front porch meetings.

Clearly, Kansas City is watching the Funky Bunch and their promises of transparency and openness once again look ridiculous when all of Kansas City can plainly see their secrecy and deception.

Kansas City blogger comes up with an iPhone hacker clothing line!!!

iJailbreak is a new clothing line which serves as "the symbol of rebellion to Apple and it's borderline immoral vision of controlling the user."

The idea only took "The Blog of an African Nerd" two days to bring to fruition. The blog, which serves as a promotional vehicle for Efiko software, is touting a cafepress site and also offering the image files to anyone bored enough to cut out the middleman and make their own t-shirt in the true spirit of the open source movement.

The t-shirts are nicely designed and the concept is solid just like a Mac . . . Sadly, folks out there who own pricey Apple products are probably too broke to make any additional purchases.

Once again Kansas City shows concern for animals while ignoring humankind

The fact that the most widely discussed item in the current budget crunch is the proposed funding cut at the Kansas City Zoo shows what a cruel bunch of uncaring d-bags reside in this cowtown.

Personally, I couldn't care less about the animals at the Zoo and my solution to the cash needed for the place has always been a bottle of BBQ sauce and a cookout that charges admission.

But the contempt that people in this town display for their follow humans by stressing over the sprawled and boring Zoo is yet another clear indication that bourgeois middle-class values will ultimately result in the demise of the human race.

Very few folks are as concerned with the fate of hundreds of City Hall workers or prison rehabilitation programs helping to make the streets just a little safer which are also on Mayor Funky's hit list.

It gets worse, earlier this week a loyal reader informed me that Union Station is doing an exhibit to bring attention to the cause of euthanized dogs and cats by displaying interlocking dog collars to memorialize the strays who were put down last year. Remember this is the same place that's never seen any kind of reliable proof when it comes to THE DISPLAY OF WHAT COULD BE EXECUTED CHINESE PRISONERS PARADED OUT IN PUBLIC WITHOUT CONSENT!!!

Still, I don't let the phony concern get me down because I know it's all lip service, very much like strippers pretending to go to college. Very few people are taking in stray pets, that's why they're always pushing them on TV. The support for the Zoo is equally unimpressive:

Of the more than 16,000 households that are dues-paying members of the Friends of the Zoo, 73 percent are outside Kansas City and 33 percent are in Kansas. Those memberships are expected to bring in about $1.1 million this year, or 9 percent of the zoo’s budget.

When it comes to taking care of the check, the contribution of suburbanites is a mere pittance. They want the cost passed on to Kansas City taxpayers as their money is used mostly to pay for and endless stream of cocktail parties and feel good events.

In the end it all comes down to priorities and Kansas City has demonstrated time and time again that people (especially minorities) don't merit as much attention as the idolization bestowed on lowly beasts.

A GREAT, NEW Kansas City photo blog: "Sometimes I take pictures of things"

Kansas City photo blogger Chris has a keen eye and an amazing talent with a camera. His photo blog is one of the best I've seen in a City that's home to a great many expert photogs. Still, with one look at "Sometimes I take pictures" it's obvious that the very humble guy has a lot of skill.

Be sure to add him to your daily reads as I admire his photograph of Mayor Funky weathering yet another storm on St. Paddy's Day . . . I guess he's getting in some practice as the impending EEOC "Mammy-gate" case and Ethics Commission deluge eventually come his way.

Harsh new environmental regs soon to choke off business in Kansas City

The Kansas City Biz Journal claims that New EPA ozone standard will be a challenge for KC . . . As The Environmental Protection Agency on March 12 tightened national air quality requirements.

Return of the Rose

Steve Rose returns as publisher of Sun Newspapers . . . This is great news actually, local media needs more strong personalities and as the defender of all things Johnson County I'm sure TKC will have plenty of opportunities to make fun of the guy.

Former Jackson County Sheriff's Deputy pretty much gets away with teen sex abuse!!!

He lost his job, must register as a sex offender and may have to move because his house is near a school . . . BUT HE WON'T SPEND ANY TIME IN JAIL because: "putting a former police officer such as Burgess in prison is dangerous. "It would be like a death sentence," his lawyer claimed while noting the defendant’s military service, previously unblemished record as a law enforcement officer, marriage with three children and good psychological assessment. Long story short: Suspending a 14 year sentence PROVES that the law doesn't apply to law enforcement in Jackson County as NOBODY else would be granted that kind of leniency. Just another happy thought to consider when turning in property taxes.

Local FBI dude Lanza to leave

The write up from The Start is interesting and guy obviously had a very cordial relationship with the local press . . . KC will now have to get accustomed to a new look for federal law enforcement quotes: Jeff Lanza, an FBI special agent and spokesman for the bureau’s Kansas City office for 18 years, is retiring March 28 to start a career as a private security speaker, teacher and writer.

Today's excuse to visit your grandma comes from a Jackson County case involving a poor old lady covered in poo for a very long time

The Star reports that Jackson County prosecutors are considering charges in the case of an elderly woman who had been allowed to lie in her own waste for several years.

Kansas City hooker killer case closing

Testimony ended Friday in the case of accused serial killer Terry Blair.

Brookwood Bandits Bring Fear to Leawood

Burglaries are on the rise in Brookwood. Even worse, the tactics of the bandits are moving closer to home invasion.

Normally, it's hard for TKC to feel sorry for people who could buy and sell my family but I don't want anybody to live in fear.

A bunch of unruly people, stalking neighborhoods and terrorizing folks sounds strikingly similar to the recent gentrification crisis endured by downtown folk before the real estate bubble burst . . . My heart truly does go out to them and my advice is to stay strong. Folks who go around bullying people - crooks or real estate people (same thing?) - They eventually end up bring about their own ruin by getting in over their head.

Also, living in fear in a dark corner of your abode is also an option. Bring snack cakes and an internet connection and you'll always have good company!!!

Idiot sighting in Kansas City

I don't think local blogger Spyder got a look at TKC when she went idiot watching in this cowtown, I was in my mom's basement all day.

"Kirkwood Condominiums crumbling"

Here's why I like Sarah Snodgrass, she's a real estate agent that's not afraid to come with the real. She also provides one of the prettiest photos I've seen of this week's Plaza wreckage brought on by the rains.

Just Cara Reports on White People

Part 2 in her series, one of Kansas City's best bloggers puts white people in perspectives. Also, her new site design looks amazing!!!

Happy Holy Saturday!!!

Good morning. I was thinking that there's a lot of things to be happy for this weekend like family, good intentions and The Big JC.

I was especially pleased when I found a recent photo spread of Alessandra Ambrosio, Marisa Miller, and Miranda Kerr.

Would it be to blasphemous to call the collection of, "The Holy Trinity?"

Probably.

Kansas City is stuck in a suprime downward spiral!!! Now could be the right time to kiss this cowtown goodbye!!!

The answer to the current subprime crisis is on the Internets, apparently a lot of people are abandoning their mortgages altogether. It's not X-mas time but local banks are routinely getting "jingle mail" from customers who simply walk out on their loan.

I know that financial news can get boring but the recent downgrade of Kansas City's economic outlook could be the most important disaster since the Hyatt Regency walkway collapsed in 1981.

I wish it was just TKC saying that the prospects for Kansas City's economy are horrible but this time the word comes white guys who wear suits and have the kind of money that starts wars, elects Presidents and determines Spring fashions. The debt from Sprint Center, Bartle Hall and the P&L District are crippling this town and despite the propaganda that's being run in the local media, most financial experts don't think those venues will ever generate the kind of revenue to service Kansas City's debilitating debt. Again, this news comes from people who do this stuff for a living and make enough money to buy anony commenters and reporters simply transcribing press releases. Put simply, THE SMART MONEY IS ON THE FAILURE OF KANSAS CITY'S NEW ATTRACTIONS!!!

Sorry. Of course, most people absolve Mayor Funky of any role in this situation even though he was the City Auditor who presided over the building boom and only made rumblings on his way out the door to a political campaign. However, it's true that the majority of the blame lies with former Mayor Kay Barnes as she turned over Kansas City's financial future to greedy developers simply looking for subsidies and corporate welfare. Unfortunately, Mayor Funky has done nothing in his year-long tenure to remedy this situation - There's still no anchor tenant for The Sprint Center and the current Mayor could quite possibly be the most dour and uninspiring spokesman for Kansas City.

But it gets worse, Kansas City's financial outlook really seems ugly when this town's crumbling water infrastructure is brought into the equation. That bill starts in the BILLIONS and Mayor Funky would rather talk about his light rail project than address the problem. The recent downgrade means that it could be harder to borrow money when time comes to pay more of Kansas City's bills . . . THAT'S THE CLASSIC DEFINITION OF SUBPRIME STATUS.

So when faced with a town in massive amounts of debt and local water bills that WILL DOUBLE in the coming years IT'S CLEAR THAT IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE TO BLAME SMART PEOPLE WHO DECIDED TO MOVE AWAY FROM KANSAS CITY GIVEN THIS TOWN'S HORRIBLE ECONOMIC PROSPECTS!!!

It gets even worse, the budget crisis and Mayor Funky's proposed solution involve cutting hundreds of employees and that means a significant reduction of City Services. There are amenities more important than a brand new Chipotle or a place to see a B-list band . . . Being able to count on the City to deliver a response from any one of its offices is a necessity and Mayor Funky's current slash and burn strategy jeopardizes that by arrogantly, stubbornly discounting the contribution of current City Hall staffers.

Let's put this all in perspective:

Financial experts have a negative opinion of Kansas City's economic future.

The Mayor is cutting City Services to the bone.

Water rates will be skyrocketing in the immediate future.

Because Mayor Funkhouser has a horrible relationship with Kansas City's minority communities he has no credibility concerning the topic of crime in urban areas that's now spreading throughout the City during hard financial times.

Any loans that this city takes out in the future could be at a higher rate which puts Kansas City in the same kind of subprime downward spiral that's seriously crippling the nation's economy.

And now we're back to the subject of people giving up when it comes to unworkable bills.



I recently rented American Gangster and there's a great line in the flick regarding the same kind of choice. A very wise Southeast Asian drug deal delivered a comment worthy of Confucius and uttered: "Quiting, and quiting while you're ahead are not the same thing."

I think people who have managed to stay financially afloat in Kansas City could soon take that advice. The gloomy financial outlook of Kansas City and the REAL DOLLAR IMPACT on residents far outweighs rising gas prices, even when the cost of fuel hits 4 bucks a gallon this Summer.

Of course the suckers who were tricked into buying condos are stuck with their bad decision in this buyer's market but for those who haven't become trapped in arduous and debt ridden entanglements like marriage, home ownership and children . . . NOW COULD BE THE RIGHT TIME TO LEAVE KANSAS CITY.

The sins of Kansas City's politicos and financial upper classes are now being cast upon the citizenry but not everybody wants to pay someone else's bills simply out of civic pride.

Suddenly, the suburbs aren't looking so bad.

Mayor Funky's failure to address crime has brought about gun battles in Brookside!!!

Just about one year ago this week TKC accurately pointed out that Mayor Funkhouser was weak on crime. He was a candidate with no discernible community involvement, he currently ranks fighting crime in the bottom half of his priorities and his tenure has undoubtedly seen increasing violence and bloodshed in Kansas City. Without question:

MAYOR FUNKHOUSER HAS DONE NOTHING TO ADDRESS KANSAS CITY CRIME AFTER NEARLY A YEAR IN OFFICE!!!

Sadly, this fact isn't important to the media when crime only infests the Eastside otherwise referred to by the Funkhouser clan as "the Black part of town" but now more and more middle-class white communities are being caught in the crossfire of Kansas City's violent streets and it's making news.

The Mayor rarely mentions violence in Kansas City, in fact this year he has regrettably spent his precious time attempting to fire Kansas City's first African-American City Manager or pushing an ill-conceived regional light rail plan to benefit the surrounding suburbs. It's clear that he regards crime as an "urban" problem in districts that didn't vote for him anyway . . . However, that's not the case.

Time and time again it needs to be demonstrated to Kansas City's naive and predominately white middle-class that it's a round world. Whether we're talking about terrorism, crime, AIDS or Mariah Carey's music - THERE IS NO SUFFERING, INJUSTICE OR DISASTER IN THIS WORLD THAT DOESN'T HOLD SOME KIND OF CONSEQUENCE FOR ALL OF HUMANITY!!! In much the same way that most dudes in committed relationships must regrettably listen to women bitch and moan about their meaningless and inconsequential jobs.

Mayor Funky's learning curve when it comes to dealing with Kansas City crime is woefully inadequate. As long as Kansas City's leadership ignores the violence in this city's poorer neighborhoods it will continue to run unabated and has already begun to spread to this town's most affluent districts.

Relevant Links:

Great story by KSHB's Russ Ptacek: Brookside gunbattle survivor describes ordeal

Midtown Miscreant: Brookside's Wild West Show

A stellar post from Another Kansas City Blog: "Another bad day for one of the city’s premiere neighborhoods."

Happy B-Day to General Blather!!!

Go and wish one of the best broads in the Kansas City blogosphere a Happy Birthday!!!

Locals attempt to get a grip on growing crime: Kansas City Father and Son beat off car burglars!!! Ew. No homo.

A father and son team beat a couple of dudes breaking into their car and restrained one of them with stereo wire.

There's always room for Jello and crazy former celebrities

Bill Cosby comes to KCK Friday, Saturday bringing his hypocritical and mostly pointless insights aimed at blaming poor people for their situation.

Strange Day Already

Strangely, I've had no less than 3 ex-girlfriends contact me because of this blog. They all think that they're the ex I'm deriding in my acerbic posts lashing out at womankind. They're all correct.

My least favorite former love (ugh) dropped me a line this morning and told me to call her. The details of the conversation were boring and not appropriate for this blog . . . Besides, she obviously didn't miss me that much or she would have accepted my offer of phone sex . . . It gets lonely down here in my mom's basement sometimes.

Anyhoo, for some strange reason communication with any of the old-school TKC DNA receptacles makes me think of one of my favorite songs from 2004.

The tune is entitled "The Space Between" and the lyrics that stand out the most to me today are:

Now that I've seen you
Stripped to the very core
I know that I need you
Less than I did before

Ah yes, no blog is complete without the overwrought revelation of personal details accompanied by song lyrics. I just didn't want readers around this dump to feel left out and Zero 7 deserve a lot more airplay here in the States.

Of course none of this stuff is related to current events in this cowtown other than the fact that I think most local blog posts regarding romantic relationships reveal that Kansas City is the kind of place where somebody gets left behind.

Christ I hate going to church

For some strange reason, Catholic masses always make me feel really guilty. Still, I love social gatherings and it looks like tonight's shindig at the Community Christian Church is the place to be for people of faith looking to mingle with politicos, local celebrities and power brokers. The event even has a cool title: "The Seven Last Words of Christ on the Cross" . . . Sacrilegious comment #5,752: I wonder if one of them was "ouch."

Still, it sounds like a good time, maybe they'll have wine.

Citadel Plaza looks even more crooked!!!

The Community Development Corp. of Kansas City. now faces a formal investigation from HUD about whether the developer had been paid twice by separate government agencies — totaling roughly $6 million — for the same costs on the Citadel project. This is still one of most horrible, sordid and depressing developments (or lack thereof) going on in Kansas City right now. Last year, The Pitch did a really good profile of the project that should bring everybody up to speed on the urban disaster if they don't know about the financial ruin already.

Forget about sewers!!! Broke Kansas City needs 1 BILLION for Light Rail!!!

Not really . . . With Billions needed in sewer repair, hundreds in jeopardy of losing their jobs at City Hall the last thing this town needs to do is to keep talking about an ill-conceived transportation system that doesn't really move people and is horribly overpriced.

Plaza Coke King Pleads Guilty!!!

Any person who has a reasonable understanding about the world knows that the Plaza isn't a place that's just about X-mas lights and luxury shopping . . . It's Kansas City's poser capital and it now seems just as sleazy and drug-infested as any other part of this cowtown.

Recently, Jacques Lavigne WHO IS 64 (!!!) pleaded guilty to dealing drugs and MAKING $1 MILLION IN PROFIT since he began selling cocaine from his Country Club Plaza home at the Locarno Apartments in the early 1990s.

Obviously, this is an impressive case for local authorities but what it really means is that demand for drugs is high (heh) on the Plaza. The details of the story reveal that this guy was a high roller who was catering to Kansas City's upper class as evidenced by his purchase of big screen TVs, luxury car, diamonds and art.

Once again this story provides even more proof that not all of the drug addicts in this town are minorities living in urban slums or poor white people cooking up meth in rural trailers as the media suggests . . . Nope, the most profitable drug trade in town seems to have been catering to the demands of decadent Plaza dwellers and their addictions in place that was built on restrictive racial covenants.

"Family Remembers Fallen Firefighter"

I rarely link Kansas City human interest stories but a recent KCTV 5 piece about a member of the KCFD who was killed this week was exceptional.

Mayor & Skaggs still suing Kansas City

Mayor Funky still operating with contempt for most of the Council, still exploiting divisions between the Northland and the rest of Kansas City, still pursuing a failed strategy: Skaggs asks high court to hear appeal about Cauthen's contract

Let's start thinking about Easter weekend

This is the weekend where Jesus came back from the dead and killed a bunny for eating ham, right? I'm not sure, I didn't pay much attention in Catholic School.

Another Catholic-y fact that may or may not be true. It's part of the folklore that makes Catholic School more interesting which claims that Jesus died at 3 p.m. on Good Friday which is the exact opposite of 3 A.M - "The witching hour." But you'll have to ask the Mayor's wife more about that topic.

Anyhoo . . . There are a few posts related to what's happening this weekend, since most folks won't be getting much work done today.

From KC's about.com blog: Kansas City Weekend Guide March 20-23rd

And here's the weekend music show picks from The Event Driver.

What the Hell, it's never too late to dig this one up. (re)Enjoy Black 20's: The Easter Bunny Hates You!!!

As for me, I'll be serving up "Easter eggs" to friends and relatives . . . Another old Kansas Catholic tradition describing the practice of farting into your hand and quickly raising the same hand to a nearby person's face. God Bless you Sister "I hate Mexicans" Marcella, wherever you are . . .

Happy in Bag is back!!!

One of my favorite bloggers is back in action after a brief hiatus. Check out his most recent update that involves even more Kansas City cruelty to the Chinese. Kidding.

Support the Nanny state!!!

The Beer Blog endorses the smoking ban . . . So do I, but only because I like seeing people fight in restaurants.

Now that's a plan

Pensive Girl writes what could be the most perfect post I've seen all day . . . A ten year plan broken up into 8 fun-to-read segments.

Liberal blogs are full of hate and lies!!!

The Kansas Citian has been kicking ass with his blog lately. The guy's a conservative (A Dem actually) and has a very pragmatic and honest opinion about a variety of topics and this cowtown. Recently, he was considering the catfight going on over at Kos. He makes a good point about the hatefulness of liberal blogs and serves up a variety of incendiary comments TKC has made about white people to prove his point. Thing is, I'm not really a liberal unless you count my passion for snack cakes or the ample booties of blonde Milfs. Anyhoo, check out his blog . . . Make it a daily read!!! And some of my best friends are white, they're very well spoken and I went to a mostly white high school and college . . . So obviously I'm not racist. Natch.

Let's start the show

Other than a ROLLING GUN BATTLE in Brookside there's not a lot I'm excited to write about today.

Also, this week I've had a bit of a "thing" for Jennifer Ellison who has managed to make the first post of the day at least 3 times this week.

And it hasn't been an exceptionally slow news week either . . . There's a lot of stuff going on but I find myself strangely more enthralled with white women . . . As usual.

Till Midnight with Malin

Busy doing actual work today . . .

Here are some of the more interesting headlines I made up regarding local links:

Pay 9 bucks for a beer and watch NCAA games at the P&L District!!!

More po'folk going to Kansas City food pantries

BROOKSIDE ROLLING GUN BATTLE!!!

I suspect the hamburgler of all crime at McDonald's

No progress on light rail, again.

The Star's stupid attempt to take over the local Internets is led by skanky and incompetent looking broads!!!

For the record, I hope that print media and Kansas City's paper of record will be around for many years not only because I feel it's important to have some kind of center for a conversation concerning local current events but also because the recent web efforts of the Kansas City Star are horribly lame and embarrassing.

A lot of local writers and media types are already talking about it but for those of you who don't know about the latest local hipster offering, allow me to introduce you to Ink.com. Ugh.

I'm thinking that this is the Star's stupid attempt to get into social networking, blogging and all kinds of Internet-y things that will not only serve to clandestinely lay claim to your content but also prove to be another failed effort along the lines of their dumbass subscription idea that kept Prime Buzz hidden from the 2-3 dozen people interested in regional politics.

One look at the site and it's clear they want to own users, wrangle them up and exploit a phony sense of community at the behest of a failing corporate parent . . . Kind of like Amway or the Catholic Church.

How this is better than Facebook or Myspace where lonely strangers can transmit STDS is beyond me. Anyhoo . . .

At first I was intimidated by this upcoming effort but then I took a look at the skanky looking broads behind the web operation. They're not too shabby, but these are obviously rookie copy broads, seemingly incompetent reporters and women who look as if they got the job by showing cleavage during the interview (like most white women) a simple glance at the crew shows this Internet effort couldn't possibly be serious. Here's a visual approximation:



Not that there's anything wrong with broads on the interwebs but I'm guessing that The Star would be able to garner a lot more traffic if they simply had these babes pose in bikinis. I know I'd sign up for whatever social networking scam they were running if I could watch the editorial staff engage in a pillow fight:



So far that would be a lot more interesting than the content I've seen.

But other than the fact that women working in local media are mostly incompetent with only 3 exceptions that come to mind . . . The approach they take is typical of clumsy big media. It's a cheap attempt to aggregate eyeballs and sell lame products and ads rather than bring any passion to the local web. Don't believe me? Then maybe you didn't see the valley girl accent and fake bubbly Plaza skank attitude from one of the broads in charge of the outfit as she shills on the radio . . . That's not the future of Kansas City's interwebs, that's a housewife in waiting, a hair stylist who got lucky or the best second (or third) choice at 2:08 on a Friday Night at way too expensive Crossroads bar.

But I digress . . . I forgot to mention the upcoming party!!!

The Star is launching their interwebby social networking adventure with an exclusive shindig at the P&L District on April 2nd!!! Only their guest will be invited . . . Because that's the same exclusionary tactic that powers the Internet and popular websites!!!

All things considered it makes me want to puke and while I would NEVER wish harm on another human being, I can't stop thinking about the money scene in "The Accused" for some reason when looking at the site.

I guess I have to be honest and note that I hope all things exclusionary and exclusive on the local internet don't succeed . . . It's just not good for the last free speech zone in Kansas City. Lame, local (all white) private online groups and efforts only focused on capturing eyeballs just don't seem like the right way to go. TKC didn't get to be one of the most gully local blogs by using that kind of tactic . . . I've always just written about and linked the subjects that inspire me.

In the end, the Star's lame 18-34 year old re-branding attempt might recapture the same kind of hipster d-bag who reads The Pitch but I don't see it contributing to the diverse and cutting edge discourse THAT ALREADY EXISTS IN KANSAS CITY'S BLOGOSPHERE!!!

Then again, if it's possible to hook-up with any of those broads Craigslist style . . . I'm all in and I'm sure they'll attract a crowd (read: line).

Wear a rubber dude.

Springtime and the annual jump in crime!!!

The Midtown Miscreant files a fantastic post which reminds all of us that the warmer weather means Kansas City Crime will soon be back in full swing after the usual cold weather (slight) slowdown. Sadly, he reports a personal example . . . Let's hope your luck is better. More on this later.

Kansas City Smoke Out

They're not sure if they want a smoking ban in Liberty . . . I don't smoke but the smoking ban could give me yet another excuse to avoid going out that way. Meanwhile, I'm wondering how much support Kansas City's local smoking ban has AND if anyone will bother to vote this April.

By the way, the photo above features Paris Hilton smoking a bowl because the law applies equally to all of us.

Write a slogan for Edwardsville!!! (ugh)

Feel free to think of your own slogan for the Kansas town. Here are my suggestions:

"Okay, how do I get to Lawrence?"

"Now with 20% less racial profiling!!!"

"There's no way the minorities will find us out here!!! Oh crap, here they come."

Wizards Prez touted as the "Mark Cuban of MLS" (only without the money or interesting sport)

A Yahoo sports profile of Robb Heineman . . . Has baseball season started yet? Watching the Royals lose is still more exciting than soccer.

In praise of the City Manager

Once again Kansas City finds itself embroiled in a controversy that's coming down upon racial lines . . . Thank you Mayor Funky!!! I'm guessing Steve Penn is probably less popular at The Star right now . . . Remember he used to sing Funky's praises, now he's pushing Cauthen's cause, kinda like me but without any bikini photos. Factoid: Cauthen's detractors are a lot quieter now that Mayor Funky has moved to purge City Hall and Cuathen is coming to the defense of employees - A good move.

Design a plate for KC cycling jerks!!!

Don't worry about money for the homeless or broke ass school children. Missouri has 5k to throw away on a license plate for a bunch of white, privileged hobbyists and their bicycles.

Kansas City's best bike blog has the details on the state's latest effort to cater to these d-bags who want to keep traffic stalled and at the whim of these leftists and mostly affluent folks who think they own the streets.

I think my entry is the best so far (that's the same line I use when I bang housewives - heh) So I'll be looking for a check in the mail.

Mayor Funky's cruel budget cuts hurt City Hall Employees, Crime fighting and Kids

The current debate over Kansas City's budget provides a place where this town determines its priorities and once again Mayor Funkhouser proves that he doesn't care about people who don't unquestioningly support him.

The Mayor is pandering to planted supporters at community meetings, his suburban hit squad who don't care about KC and really only approve of his whiteness along with the talk radio crowd who can't be bothered to get into the boring details of the budget.

To better understand that situation here are some of the details of Mayor Funky's Massive Cuts:

What strikes me as the biggest betrayal is his effort to purge employees at City Hall!!! Already the rumor is out there that this is payback for all of the people who didn't show him the proper amount of respect when he was City Auditor. In essence this move is akin to a disgruntled employee back on the premises to take out former colleagues. Mayor Funky is pushing a mindless massacre of City Hall jobs that would not only cripple Kansas City services but would promote the same kind of bunker mentality that exists in the mind of Funky Bunch loyalists. It's a panic driven, vindictive move. Nothing more.

But it gets worse . . . Mayor Funky is clandestinely pushing the Prison Industrial Complex on the po'folk (mostly minorities) in Kansas City and touts a private (read: corporate) takeover the City Jail while ignoring the rehab programs and employees of the facility.

Wait there's more:

There's a cutback on security: Funky recommends consolidating the North Patrol station with airport police.

Mayor Funky is also thinking about cutting funding for Kansas City streets, intentionally backtracking on his phony talk of maintenance and upkeep: Funky recommends reducing boulevard maintenance spending by about $1 million.

And then there's the proposed consolidation of youth advocacy programs taking money away from the same kids he keeps endlessly referring to . . . Not to mention he's in favor of cutting out the Zoo as well.

So what does this mean?

Put simply, Mayor Funky doesn't care about the people of Kansas City or the damage that his panic inspired cuts will create . . . Rather than take a reasoned approach and work toward a compromise he's insulting the people on the City Council as HE ARROGANTLY GRADES THEIR PERFORMANCE (Professor Funky gave them a C-plus) and then shills to his former campaign workers who are not so secretly called to all of his community meetings in order to fake public support. TKC learned about this trick from one of the many pissed off City Hall Employees who are now providing regular info alerts to TKC. THANK YOU!!!

What Kansas City is stuck with is basically EVIL SPOCK!!!



During the campaign, Funkhouser promised a logical, rational approach to City Government and now that he's in office he has delivered nothing but cold, cruel and stubborn actions and statements. I've always said this town deserves better and now more and more people who find themselves on the chopping block are seeing that Mayor Funky and his Shoeless wife have gone mad with power like a bad Star Trek episode.

Tax break for old po'folk in Kansas

The Kansas Senate Taxation Committee approved a bill providing new property tax relief for low-income homeowners 65 and older on Wednesday . . . Missouri might soon follow with a bill aimed and punching elderly Latinas in the face while simultaneously convincing broke white people that the practice is in their best interests as the Show-Me State continues to fall behind in Jobs, Education and Health Care thanks to Republican leadership or lack thereof.

KCK Child Prostitution Case: Today's reason to stop bitching about your comfortable life

Man pleads guilty to forcing a 14-year-old girl into criminal sexual activities