Blogs don't matter: The Star, racism and money decide elections

Because I'm a big fan of the cRap music, Flava Flav and the film classic Action Jackson my inclination is to always bet on Black and vote that way as well.

In much the same way that I believe that remaining Indians (feathers not dots) should be the first people in line to get reparations seeing as how I see a hell of a lot of Black people around after their bout with the genocidal inclincations of the white man but I almost never see a Native brown person of this area . . . And 200 years ago this land was rife with those people. Not to say that Latinos of Mexican decent aren't culpable in the slaughter of the Native Americans as well because they certainly helped in the world's most successful example of genocide on which this country was founded and our way of life was secured.

ANYWAY . . . If you watched the election results closely what you might have seen is that White people voted for Funkhouser and Black people voted for Brooks in Kansas City. Just as I predicted, this is an election that's going to break down along racial lines. The (white) Northland voted for Funkhouser en masse and every Black person in town (non felon) turned out for Brooks as well.

So where do I stand? I know that's a question you haven't been asking yourself but here goes: Alvin Brooks has lit a bunch of candles for this city. Funkhouser has pushed a lot of paper. For the most part, I think both of those activities are mostly useless.

For me it comes down to crime and that's a topic that NO ONE can talk about without ruffling feathers . . . But considering that only 3 or 4 dozen people vote in local elections anyway, maybe it's time to ruffle a few feathers.

Early in the election Brooks made one paltry press conference in order to address crime in KC and then went to sleep in order to let Pat Gray handle his business. While resting your feet on a white guy and letting him do your work for you is a nice way to spend your day gig and it's the complaint I usually hear from most white people about their Black co-workers when nobody is listening . . . It's not exactly inspiring. Still, it worked.

As for Funkhouser . . . His (annoying) followers went all out and bothered everyone they could with his message . . . Mainly that better city services will make you taller and make your teeth brighter. I have to admit that I agree with him for the most part while pointing out that for the 16th most violent city in the USA, that message doesn't exactly speak to some of our more pressing concerns. Henry Klein pointed that out during his mayoral bid and I think Steve Kraske thanked him for his concern before turning his mike off during the last mayoral forum.

So let's talk solutions real quickly . . . My (not so) stupid suggestion: Bring back the Kansas City gun experiment. It's aimed at illegal guns so I don't think it'll offend the NRA crowd too much . . . And if they have a problem with so many 18-34 year old Black males being denied illegal weapons to kill each other more efficiently . . . Then you pretty much know where they are coming from and they can be ignored, seeing as how their organization is a paper tiger anyway.

One last thing . . . As usual the Star and the rest of the local media only report the news according to white people in Kansas City. Believe who you want and definitely don't trust me but according to the Kansas City election board Alvin Brooks beat everybody by a significant margin without doing much campaigning at all.


(Of course you'll find an excuse here to tell me how I'm wrong but these are the only numbers I've seen from a source I trust . . . Everybody else (including me) has an agenda on this one and is clearly in the business of peddling influence. I'll wait for the final numbers, I'll even post them but they don't matter next to the more widely viewed news coverage which you have to admit is almost always biased; very much like this blog.)

So, on this day after the election it's important to know where you stand: In the most violent city in the Midwest second to St. Louis (KC is always second to St. Louis) and in a town where the election was most likely the last thing on the mind of the average citizen.

I'm calling it: The vote the nobody cared about . . .

Blogging: The best way to lose a job in KC

By far, Mark Forsythe ran the best blog campaign of the recent election but he nearly placed lower than a Latino guy. Ew. As I stated previously, this is good new for blogs but bad news career advancement. While blogging may earn you an audience and waste your time, it isn't guaranteed to make any advances for the author in the real world and that's a good thing . . . If only for those of us who didn't really care for every other politico who was marginally interested in the blog thing but didn't have Mark's commitment, style or anything of substance to write.

I support Beth Gottstein

Let it never be said that I'm a sore loser . . . Loser is just fine.

However, like all people involved in politics I care about the good of this city and not my own petty, personal interests.

Therefore I think I should address the remaining candidates in the race that I was so integrally involved in during the past few months . . . I mean, c'mon I woke up before noon a few times to participate in the damn thing so I obviously have a major stake in the outcome!!!

And what I think is best for this city, what this town deserves is Beth Gottstein . . . And I'm totally serious. A vote for Doug Gamble would be a vote for a hotel on top of your head that is financed completely by your taxes.

Also, I did not know that Beth was a Hispanic advocate. It's true, according to the Star's coverage, less than a year employed at a Hispanic institution that has almost nothing to do with the lives of anybody but the dozen or so people who wear suits in this community qualifies you for a leadership position in the Latino community.



To be fair, being a manager at Kentucky Fried Chicken also puts a person in a position of leadership over quite a few Latinos in this town as well.

Still, I support Beth because I've seen what fighting the Tall Israelis gets a person. Mainly, dead babies and homelessness if you happen to be Palestinian. So, the way I see it there is nothing wrong with getting on the winning bandwagon!!! Very much like a weed carrier I'm not here to throw stones but to make sure that one of my betters gets all the credit they deserve and I'm no longer going to question how somebody who has never made more than six figures has the deep pockets to loan herself 50k.

No sir, questions about campaign finance are anti-semitic and (as we've seen) unproductive. Better to march in lock step on our way to invade Iran. I just wanted to let everybody know that the Tall Israelis who pretty much bought this election (which most of this city ignored) have my complete and unquestioning support from now on . . . Not only because I'm not very fond of Arabs either (I won't mention that they're both Semitic people because I don't want to confuse the point) but also because I feel that a broad who can wear all black, all of the time and perform horribly each and every time she opens her mouth (a rare feat for any woman) but still comes out on top . . . Well, more than anything she has my admiration and my vote . . . For what it's worth . . . I'm guessing maybe 8 bucks.

Tony loves his mama

Because so few people participated in it, you may not know that Kansas City had an election yesterday . . . Strangely, I was marginally involved in it. What did I learn?

Thankfully, nobody pays attention to this blog.

This not only frees me up to be even more nasty and hateful with the jokes around here but also gives me hope that blogging hasn't truly jumped the shark given that local bloggers luckily avoided one of those "look at who is blogging and their amazing influence" articles that invariably kill the momentum of a page the same way that "The best new artist Grammy" is nearly a guarantee that a musician will never be heard from again.

The best part of the election for me . . . Getting to spend more time with my mom. We made videos, delivered signs, hollered at each other and bitched about being broke. All together some of the best times I've had with the old lady since the days she took me to the Zoo . . . Which the cold weather thwarted but will probably resume this summer.

On a somewhat related note, my greatest fear is that I'm retarded and nobody has told me yet. However, just like the Special Olympics there is reward for coming in last place in Kansas City politics. I've received a hell of a lot of ancillary work (wedding videos!!!) from my efforts on the losing campaign and my mom tells me that the level of esteem from all of the dregs of humanity that she works with in the non-profit world has increased ten-fold as well . . . Note: As you know esteem is way easier to come by than money. But still, things are looking up!!!

Even in last place we got more votes than Becky Nace and together we learned a hell of a lot . . . Just like when she read me "Everybody Poops" . . . Has it been a month already?

Sooooooooooo, all things considered I had a good time actually seeing the sun for a few weeks. Now I'm back in this basement and my mom goes on with her life . . . I told her that I was glad to have spent so many hours with her and she told me "make sure you shut the door on your way down." But she said it really nicely so I'm sure she feels the same way.

I'm wide open

Whew, thankfully this election thing is over for me except for my bitching and moaning and that's just what I like . . . To be honest (???) I have no problem with nasty comments and the like because I'll be damned if I ever care what some annony d-bag on the Internets has to say about anything.

HOWEVER, my mama wasn't accustomed to how truly bad things can get in the blogosphere and since I live in her basement, I needed to do my best to "protect" her from nerds . . . Which was easily accomplished by a click of a few buttons and a few nasty comments of my own, in real life it would have required wedgies and women so I guess I'm lucky like that . . . Anyway, I just wanted to let everybody know that your anonny asshattery is not only welcome but also appreciated . . . You (we?) 400lbs folks with nothing to do during the day and wonderful insights about how to solve the world's problems are truly who this site is written for and I not only welcome but appreciate your comments . . . Enjoy!

- The management

By the way, I need to mention that Biochemical Slang is one of the best blogs out there

Check out the way that this blogger cuts right through all of the B.S. when it comes to who owned Al Sharpton's ancestors. Additionally, all of those MP3 downloads should keep you coming back for more . . . My favorite: (For God's Sake) Give More Power to the PEOPLE

Nice interface: Channel 9 provides the easiest way to look at election results

Seriously, this little web app is so much better to look at then what the election board is putting up. Good stuff, check it out.

The exception that proves the rule

One of my favorite local blogs seems to have some great live info coming from her site. Check out The Flossing of America for tales of their campaign night exploits . . . Sadly, no awesome lesbian photos :(

Live blogging is for losers

So election results come in just a few minutes from now . . . I went to more than 2 dozen different polling places this afternoon and everyone said less than 100 people came though the doors.

That polling places on Westport Road near State Line . . . Hilarious . . . Stayed there for 30 minutes and counted more than a dozen signs. at least 15 campaign workers and a grand total of 4 voters.

This is the election that most of KC couldn't care less about . . . I think it favors people with a lot of very ardent supporters but I could be wrong . . . Maybe Diebold is better at running this whole Democracy thing anyway because the story on the street is that no one, virtually no one is interested.

The Sign Says

My mom believes in the political process and Democracy and all that good stuff and I'm not sure I do. I don't remember voting to go to war with Iran but I'm pretty sure that's what is going to happen.

So here we are at the end of the campaign and I find that early on in the day everybody is pretty hopeful. I've talked with a few politico types last night (No homo) and they all think they're gonna win.

As my mom's one and only campaign donkey, I make no such claims. In fact, I'm pretty sure something dirty and full of vote tampering goodness will go down today but for the most part it won't be as important as a video of a squirrel using water skis or something similar.

Still, I'm pretty proud of my mom's blog and vlog entries that I helped with because they don't come off half as condescending or lame as the other video content that's out there from mayoral candidates and the like . . . Really, unless puppy dog eyes and mostly empty promises is your thing then there's not a lot to look for when it comes to video tapped messages from the candidates. But I digress . . . The point here is that I have no idea what influences people to make a decision (other than money, obviously).

I've always liked this time of morning because you never know what the day will bring. Certainly this town will see a lot of high hopes shattered, a lot more empty promises coming from happy folks at watch parties - The lamest of all local gatherings. And maybe there might be some surprises . . . I'm getting in on a bit of the action as well, so if you see a fathletic Latino guy hand you a piece of campaign literature . . . Please smile and don't make direct eye contact with me.

However, it's important not to overestimate what happens today. Considering that MOST PEOPLE don't vote in this town . . . A great many folks know that election day usually doesn't have a direct impact on their lives. Still, no matter the outcome (hopefully) I'll end up here in this basement typing about something else that pisses me off tomorrow morning.

Getting shot at a hospital isn't a total tragedy unless we're talking about Truman

KCTV 5 reports on KC's favorite final destination for rolling gun battles: "A security guard threw out some noisy visitors at Truman Medical Center, but the group apparently retaliated early Tuesday morning and now the guard is in the hospital after getting shot."

KC's urban po'folk would starve if it wasn't for overpriced convenience stores

Meiner's Thriftway leaving the Linwood Shopping Center

There's nothing going on but politics today

Well, that and the run of the crime and shootings. Still, this recent story: "Good Question: Traveling State Line Road" clues me into the fact that whatever politico wins today's election will bombard KC with reports on how they are nearly as good as the Second Coming.

NEW BLOG: Stay Red Kansas

Good stuff from a blog that's purportedly written by political insiders and not just pundits. So far, I like the tone and aggressive slant of the posts, which may just serve to remind people why they became Republicans in the first place . . . I'm guessing Dick Cheney and Halliburton don't rank high on that list.

Your first, First Fridays preview for next month

Kansas City Crossroads First Fridays for March 2007

Baby steps: Sharing information but not the debt load

Bills for stadium improvements will be shared with the county.

Send out The Rat Patrol!!!

Double bonus points for you if you remember the late 60's TV series The Rat Patrol, set in North Africa during World War II, which chronicles the adventures of a 4-man team of commandos.

I don't know what kind of group they're getting together to fight baby biting rodents on the Eastside but the City seems to be taking the issue pretty seriously.

Clearly, this town hasn't paid this much attention to local rats since that whole "stop snitching" b.s. a couple of years ago.

Sword fight in Kansas City!!!

Sad thing . . . This isn't the first time I've linked this kind of thing.

A Kansas City man was in serious condition after a sword attack.

One man apparently chopped his other neighbor's hand off with a sword.

It happened near Wabash and Rochester.

Police said the suspect pulled out a four-foot knife when he was on the victim's porch and just cut off the other man's hand.

Ouch. And again, this makes me think how I always shudder when random people on the street try to "ax" me a question.

LMC: The KC Mayor's Race Sucks

One of this town's premier conservative bloggers comes out for Funkhouser. Interesting. Here's the money line that's exceptionally accurate: "Part of the problem is Kansas City is infested with liberal Democrats, thus mostly Democrats run for the Mayor's office and if you are a Republican you make sure no one finds out."

Followup: Wesson OUT

Alonzo Washington continues to provide a lot of information about Call reporter Eric L. Wesson . . . It's pretty interesting stuff and details facts which reveal that the local reporter has had many run-ins with local figures that usually end up turning out badly for him.

Talking Dirty: Barnes blasts negative campaigning that isn't coming from her camp

Really? She thinks every voter in this town doesn't have a memory of her moves with Steve Glorioso -- who is the ALL TIME KING of dirty political tricks in Kansas City. With an empty arena that she conned this town into building, she'd do better to get on the phone herself and try and save this city from a $300 million disaster rather than worrying about other people's calls.

I'm not sure, but there was some expectation that she might endorse a candidate at this press conference but she only used it to prove that she's still got a misguided notion that there is a political career in front of her. As usual, she didn't do anybody any favors in this town other than herself.

WOST MAYOR EVAR!

What have we learned?

Actually, I'm a tad hopeful about politics in Kansas City . . . Mainly, because all I need is a few hundred thousand dollars and I could do anything short of killing a hooker in public and still be considered a serious candidate for Mayor.

This vlog entry I helped my mom create captures some of her thoughts about her first experience running for office in Kansas City. It's a tad bittersweet but ends on a upbeat note I think . . . As for myself, I've had a lot of fun with this stupid page during this campaign season and no matter what I consider myself the only real winner in this election because I have the mindset of a champion and the sole purpose of this blog isn't to convince you or sell supermarket specials but to create a glimmer of hope that there might be a place for an opinion that isn't sanctioned, endorsed or pushed upon the public by a media conglomerate . . . And that you don't need any dumbass writer (especially in my case) in order to think for yourself.

A threatening CALL

I'm proud to announce that Alonzo Washington gets this year's first TKC BAD ASS BLOGGER AWARD, not only because he has used his blog to address the problem of crime in Kansas City but also because he has taken the new media and used it to consistently piss off reporters. Alonzo has managed to evade most of the smear tactics that the Pitch pulls against any minority on their radar and now, according to Alonzo, a reporter from the Call isn't too happy that a voice from the Black community isn't being filtered through their pages. The message is loud and clear and speaks volumes about how influential one blog (other than mine) can be . . .

Seriously, if you ever wondered what a lot of reporters really think about this blogging thing . . . Simply check out the video above . . .

Democracy consistently in decline in Kansas City

As few as 50,000 voters on Tuesday in a city of 450,000 will make bad decisions that everybody will have to live with . . .

Overrated, inebriated but not exactly dumb

By now you've already heard that Jared Allen wants out of Kansas City . . . It's not a bad move but that has to hurt all of those loyal fans who celebrated this town's great white hope with all of the heart their little JoCo chests could muster. Still, like a wife involved with domestic abuse, they'll keep coming back for more as long as the people of KC proper are paying the bill.

The key to romance is a lack of creativity

Local Judge marries four couples on Valentine's Day . . . It's a bit of an old story but I'm a romantic or at least I try to bathe on the weekends.

In case you don't want to let Diebold do it for you

A handy sample ballot shows you all of the choices that the RNC will make on your behalf.

Best blog community in KC: Channel 4

No kidding. If you actually just want to go by nice folks making insights about the news, the place is completely underrated and the interface is not only extremely user friendly but also faster than blogger. Honestly, if I had the technical know-how I'd want something exactly like it . . . Only a lot dirtier with space for online hookups. Still, not to shabby and on the upswing if you check their Alexa numbers.

Damn it, I'm not giving an endorsement

Here's the thing about the primary election tomorrow when it comes to the race for Mayor . . . The the only thing that's certain about the "winners" is that the majority of voters (an ever shrinking minority) won't support either of them by any significant margin.

Additionally, I've been a bit disappointed in all of the mayoral candidates because they've ALL FAILED TO ADDRESS a fact of life in this city . . . Mainly that, the number one victims and perpetrators of homicides in Kansas City are Black males between the ages of 17-34.

Put simply, the stat I mentioned above was the biggest problem facing Kansas City last year and it went UNMENTIONED by anybody running for Mayor. More than anything crime effects every aspect of life in Kansas City and I challenge you to contend that you'll really care about trash pickup or potholes when somebody is sticking a gun in your face in one of the many, recent carjackings that seem to be gaining popularity in this town.

Still, for better or worse this town is stuck with these Dirty Dozen candidates and it's fun to sum up their ambitions with one-liners and stupid photos . . . Kind of like a recent roundup that The Pitch did a couple of weeks ago, only . . . Ya know, funny and not so homersexual.

Here we go . . . Here's something not so nice about everyone running for mayor:



My instincts are to always vote for the Black guy but it's hard to tell if Alvin Brooks is even running a campaign. He has been far too low key and it makes me wonder if he's somewhere at his desk asleep during this whole process.



Janice Ellis - This lady and her self-righteous campaign is the reason why Alvin Brooks will lose and this month's example (especially apropos for this season of Black history) that there is no such thing as unity when it comes to minorities and politics.

The award for craziest person running for mayor goes to John David DiCapo.


Not only has he publicly said that he's supporting Chuck Eddy but hearing him give his stump speech, I keep waiting for somebody to interrupt him and announce that "Live from New York, It's Saturday Night!" It's damn painful and if he's the representative of small business people in Kansas City then it's no wonder that so many of them have gone bankrupt or fallen victim to Country Club Kay.



Becky Nace was once vaguely Hispanic and now she's Republican. Strangely, both identity transformations have her working for white guys with far more power and pull than she has . . . Life is a bitch and this broad is so clearly bought and paid for that she nearly rivals a Republican trophy wife with an additional 30lbs of ass for good measure. Yeah!



Is it wrong that I just don't want the Jabba jokes to end? Certainly not, I might vote for Katheryn Shields because I think the State of the City address from a jail cell is exactly what this town needs to put local politics in their proper perspective.



Albert Riederer - If there was some kind of award for best retro politician this guy would win hands down. He is Kansas City in the 80's with the same style and the authoritative tone which indicates that minorities don't matter. It's a style that you've come to expect from prosecutors across the country. And I could actually get with that if he wasn't posing as a reformer rather than what he is: A friendly reminder of the good old days (Reagan years) when white guys were getting their confidence back, forgetting about Vietnam and attempting to fight off white guilt.



You will never meet a nicer guy (and bigger loser on election day) than Henry Klein.



Jim Glover would make an excellent mayor if he didn't happen to be the most boring politician this city has ever seen. All of the hack jokes apply in this circumstance: H. Roe Bartle is more captivating in his current state . . . Yadda, yadda, yadda. Too bad, because Glover is the only guy who has worked for neighborhoods as a politician and used his political office to help revitalize a blighted part of town . . . Yeah, that thing that every politico in this election has promised? Glover has actually done it. Too bad that he put everyone to sleep while getting that stuff accomplished.



It's official, Mark Funkhouser has used the power of the Internet to hook up with the most obnoxious, politically naive, self-obsessed and arrogant supporters in Kansas City. Take that online dating!!! You'd think he was Jesus to read some of these blogs and the fact that Funk's supporters are expecting any kind of change in this town only makes the situation even more laughable then the Star's fake poll numbers in support of their pick. Put simply, in a perfect world a reformer with no political baggage to carry would be wonderful if it were not for the fact that politics is compromise not merely compiling data or practicing cold Vulcan logic in order to screw over people who need indigent health care. While his cadre of Star Trek geeks might swear up and down that they're getting a different cup of soup then the one this town has recycled for years . . . There's just no proof of that yet . . . Only blind faith and bad slogans that everybody in this town copied from me (heh) and refused to give me my PROPS!!!



John Fairfield's poorly placed calls to potential donors after voting, along with his horrible panhandling legislation could be the best example of a decent candidate screwing up his own chances far better than anybody else could. I know the feeling, I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to bathing and waking up before noon as well.



Once again proving Star columnist Mike Hendricks is a dumbass and doesn't know what he's talking about when he's not repurposing this blog for his column . . . The London Eye is the most the world's most popular tourist attraction according to the most accurate encyclopedia in the world. They've built observation wheels all over the world and if any politico had a sense of KC like Stan Glazer did, they would also push for this idea over the many empty museums this town pays for . . . An attraction that actually attracted a crowd? That would be a change for Kansas City. I like Stan because more than any other candidate he represents KC and has been upfront about what his lack of elected office means and his only main goal of trying to be an ambassador for a town that not only needs someone to fix Country Club Kay's 300 million dollar mistake but also need to believe in itself once again (and that means more than getting hipster white kids excited about the latest trend in transportation) . . . And I guess to be fair I should crack wise about him . . . But, life isn't fair so I won't.



Finally, we all know that Chuck Eddy marches to the beat of his own drummer and you can only admire how he has completely ignored every single one of his constituents on Red Bridge Road. If those complaining folks were all women that he was having sex with, the guy would be my hero. However, what Eddy really represents is the endgame for all politicos in Kansas City. A great guy, with a decent record who let special interests and this nasty business of politics ruin what would have been an otherwise brilliant career . . . I'm obviously referring to his career as a drummer as pictured above . . . Rock on.

RAT BITES BABY!!!

While local mayoral candidates talk about issues you pretend to care about that don't really weigh on the minds of most of the city.

A new law might get Shield's name but not the same kind of chauffeur driven treatment

Missouri Republican trying to make you forget about your Medicaid or that fact that the war is going badly: Charlie Shields' bill would make mortgage fraud a crime in Missouri punishable by up to 15 years in prison.

Read the review so you can sleep through the show

A Lawrence blogger gives his critique of Delirium, Cirque du Soleil's arena touring group, at Kemper arena in Kansas City

Anonymity, evolution and the Internets

One of my favorite Kansas bloggers is back in high gear and posts some pretty intense thoughts on the ever-evolving state of ethics on the Internet.

Proposed Children's Museum in Shawnee seems like a smarter deal than Science City

From the folks who brought you "Beyond the book" and Wonderscope: The project's backers hope to have a 36,500-square-foot museum — with a potential price tag of $15 million — up and running by the summer of 2009. They say such a museum could draw 150,000 visitors a year from a six-state area. Hopefully, maybe KC leaders can visit and maybe read something about how to feed our less successful white elephants.

Before you start bitching about your bad weekend

Yes, I'm sure you have a lot of problems that your rich dad will have to figure out how to solve somehow (probably with his money) . . . These folks don't seem as lucky:

Fire Forces Lee's Summit Family Out In Cold

Seven injured in three-vehicle accident

Police: Man Shot In Chest

Kansas City shooting leaves two injured

The campaign lineup from KCTV5

Unfortunately, no exciting theme music or that announcer with the scary voice.

A slightly better place to dump dangerous things than your neighbor's lawn

'07 Household Hazardous Waste Collection Program for Greater Kansas City Area.

"Children, you're never too young to learn about Kansas City politics"

In this photo, local school children learn about sharks from Beth Gottstein. It's important that children learn that 100k can buy you just about any election you want. Also, the underwater creatures of the sea are pretty cool too.

Another important lesson . . . While white people may have different views on the subject, I'm guessing that condescending poses play worse then negative campaign messages.

Or you could just talk about trees like some model minorities and simply bore everyone to death.

Eh, it's not like I ever had a lot of faith in local democracy anyway but, like other bloggers I think sharks are cool if only because they have no politics and they keep moving constantly which is a lot more than you can say for public officials in this town.

Bad British cuisine and beer soon to move to Midtown KC

IrishKC reports that the Double Dragon on Main is being torn down to make way for a new local bar that could cater to this town's burgeoning British population (???). Also, nice to see they found a way to maintain the British Empire that doesn't involve exploiting brown people . . . That is, unless they hire an all Mexican kitchen like every other restaurant in Kansas City. Note: All food is basically Mexican food in this town with maybe one or two exceptions for the area's Viet Cong run kitchens.

So, if you were still wondering about The Superficial Plaza Chick

She revealed her identity over the weekend, her name is Steph McCarty and she's the blogger behind Rubrics Twist and Bowling Shirt. Hopefully, we'll more posts from the SPC and maybe the return of The Roast!!!

Bank suspect caught taking sushi break

Either this is the worst getaway plan ever OR truly a moment of Zen as a local bank robbery suspect takes what might be one of the worst planned breaks evar.

A man suspected in a robbery at the Commerce Bank in Brookside this morning was arrested a short time later while drinking a beer and eating salad at a nearby restaurant.

Kansas City police said a man wearing a green, hooded jacket walked into the bank shortly before 10:30 a.m. and said he had a weapon. About a dozen people were in the bank at the time, some of whom were unaware a robbery was in progress.

The suspect, carrying an undisclosed amount of cash, ran north from the bank toward the busy row of shops on Brookside Boulevard .

About 20 minutes later - after several Kansas City police units had responded to the area - Sgt. John Blomquist and Officer Bob Murphy spotted a man fitting the suspect's description eating alone in a back booth at Domo Sushi & Grill. The restaurant had just opened and he was the only customer

Huh, the story does note that the guy had a beer as well . . . I'd really like to know which kind and I'm sure this whole story could make a somewhat entertaining commercial . . . Which goes to show just how nice Brookside is, not even a bank robbery can create bad PR.

Same old silence in KC

As always, the end of winter weather is ramping up violence and the fact that so many folks don't want to cooperate with the police is typical: Gunshot Victim Unwilling to Aid in Investigation

Music to your eyes

The new, refurbished Music Hall looks awesome . . . No joke. It's one of my top 5 favorite buildings in Kansas City. The other 4, obviously, are strip clubs.

Your last chance to ignore the upcoming elections

The Star provides a list of the Final round of forums . . . I've been to quite a few with never more than a crowd of 30 and nearly an equal amount on stage. They're good to check out if you want a reason why not everybody thinks Democracy is the best idea in the world.

Without anchor, rudder or clue. Thank you Kay!

Channel 9 notes that "It's 228 days from the opening of the Sprint Center, and there is still no word on an anchor tenant."

Finally, a reason other than defacto segregation to move North of the River

375 Pounds Of Pot Found In Northland Home

Insert Seinfeld era airline food joke here

KCI Terminal Evacuated After Restaurant Fire . . . Did ya ever notice, that you're a lot happier when you're not noticing things?

The grass is greener where the dogs are pooping

Grass Roots v. Astroturf a great analysis of the KC political scene

It's not the weekend without "sweatin the small stuff"

From the ever popular "fuck you, I'm Paul Harvey" . . . Yeah!

Bowling Shirt, blogger blues

A great post that trumps so many other complaints I've read from other blogs. Check it: "I'm jobless, broke, poor, I have $6.50 to my name." Send her some nice comments and cheer her up, I could have written the same thing only I'm really great at online poker and (Thank God) Ebay and a few suckers who need biz stuff written for them have been good to me. Damn, if this post doesn't make you count your blessings . . .

Words you thought you'd never read in your lifetime: "Why I Love Dick Cheney"

This post is obviously written the Republican perspective and it makes some good points against the McCain camp, even if I completely disagree with the rest of it. Come to think of it, I can't imagine how anyone could support Cheney but then again I don't know why people eat asparagus either.

It's the little differences

Here's a quick campaign video I made on a whim. Just a collection of photos really, I'm not Spielberg up in this bitch but I think I made my point . . . Please check it out and pass it on if you'd like . . . It's pretty amateur BUT given that the root of the word amateur is love, that's not such a bad thing . . . Speaking of, so many people like to cite their love for this city during the elections and that's cute and optimistic but my mom tells me that she fell in love in this city as well and then was divorced . . . TWICE! So she also knows a lot about the reality of this town . . . That's a (somewhat) funny joke she only shares with the friends and the fam but this blog has always been the place where I share my bawdy thoughts, jokes and stories.

So there ya go.

Taking a stab at Tony

Here is a really insightful comment that I felt I needed to share with you folks . . . It was sent my way last evening and provides some great details behind the story of the Halliburton worker who was arrested and then freed after his relatives caused a stir in the local media. Also, the guy completely cuts up my dumbass (but earnest) logic and sadly finds no humor in my joking remarks after a loved one got out of a jam relatively unscathed . . . Which is sad, because I know I avoided at least three wrecks during the last snow storm and laughed all the way home each time.

Check it:

Since you decided to advertise your thoughts on Danny Talbert's detainment, please allow me to do the same. While I am a firm believer in everyone having the right to express their opinion, in this case it would have been wise to do a little research before passing judgment on "the fact that the dude's family sold his case to the local media as if it was some great injustice or of any importance to life in this part of the world was just another example that news of white people in trouble trumps any other concern facing this community."

I am Danny's first cousin . . . I'm not going to go into detail about my family or our financial status, but suffice it to say no one has ever had a lot of surplus cash lying around. Danny was a good kid raised by a single mom, he got good grades and put himself through college. Don't get your sarcastic hanky out - just have the courtesy to read the rest of my email. Unfortunately, the KC area isn't overflowing with high paying jobs for kids fresh out of college - what metropolis is? So yes, Danny did take the job with KBR knowing there were risks, but also understanding how the money could assist his immediate family.

The family's actions were reprehensible given that all they really did was try his case in the Kansas City media and depict the courts of Dubai as corrupt and illegitimate because they're run by brown people Shame on you - and how dare you bring racism into this. You know nothing about my family or the hours spent on overseas phone calls either getting false information or absolutely no assistance whatsoever. The real reason his case was "sold" (as you put it) to the local media is because the American Embassy did NOTHING to help him. It took them six days to even bother with a 5 minute visit. The only time a representative from KBR showed up at the prison was to ask if he knew his sister had contacted the media. To date there has been no further contact from them.

Given the tone of your commentary, it should come as no surprise that most politicians stay below the radar until something advantageous to their career comes along. Until Danny's story hit the news, the only response we were receiving from the Missouri officials were "We can give you a phone number to call" or "What we can do to assist you is limited". If you have anyone in your life you care about, as we care about Danny, that shouldn't be a good enough answer. It certainly wasn't for us.

The first real assistance we received from our government came from Senator Barack Obama's office . . . Once they stepped in we finally started getting some action. It's sad but true - unless there's heat from somewhere, nothing gets done. I don't know about you, but if I was stuck in a foreign prison I would want out as soon as possible and I would hope my loved ones would do everything in their power to ensure my freedom.

We were being told it would take between $20,000 and $50,000 just for the retainer of a reputable attorney who would not "take the money and run". As that kind of cash is pretty much beyond the realm of anyone in my family, everyone scrambled for ways to raise the funds as quickly as possible. In short, people who truly cared about Danny's welfare did whatever they could think of to find the money needed.

Also, I'm wondering if he's going to pass on any of the cash he made from the business trip over to the saps who took up his cause. Nice thought, maybe next you can ask the victims of Hurricane Katrina for a loan. When I donate money to a cause, it's certainly never something I expect or would even want to have repaid. I do it because I was brought up to believe helping someone in need is the right thing to do.

Now that he's out alive I have no problem saying that I couldn't care less whether he lived or died and unless you're getting a check from Halliburton then you're sucker for believing anything different. Wow - I don't even know what to say to that - the comment speaks volumes about you as a human being. (yikes!)

I will conclude this email with a hope that neither you nor anyone you love ever goes through the hell we experienced over the last two weeks. Oh and if you really are concerned about news of white people in trouble trumps any other concern facing this community stick to commenting about really important items like who fathered Anna Nicole's baby.

The latest bright idea that's nothing but garbage

The City of Kansas City, Mo., KCart Pilot Program staff is delivering trash carts to nearly 6,000 homes in nine neighborhoods in preparation for the first week of trash collection via trash carts. The transition from trash bag collection to KCart collection begins Feb. 26.

Event Driver weekend music links

Christina Aguilara at Kemper...
Daniel Nichole & T.U.F at Blayneys...
On The Fly at O'Dowd's...
And links to tons of bands, shows and clubs

Harry Potter's Penis

Not safe for work or your mind. Ew. No Homo but I guess this a human interest story seeing as how it proves that life isn't all about the size of your wand. Seriously, NO HOMO on this whole post but I know your gonna look anyway.

All women should be Samantha Fox

I have no idea why I'm in such a good mood this morning but it probably won't last past noon . . . Anyway, for some reason I was thinking about Samantha Fox . . . The best female singer in the history of pop music . . . Of course, she didn't really have a great of a voice but her CD covers and posters more than made up for such petty concerns.

Sadly, according to Wikipedia she's now a lesbian which makes sense when you consider that every guy even close to my age has most likely spanked it to her photograph at some point. Hell, she was even big in India before those guys took all of the computer programming jobs. Damn if that's not pressure . . . Anyway, her popularity speaks not only to how far big boobs can take a career but also that great fashion is timeless or more accurately . . . Nobody cares if you have big 80's hair or are clad in denim if you're a horny broad who only sings about sex and don't mind showing off your rack while your at it.

The 80's . . . Good times. It certainly puts that whole vagina rock thing in perspective and should inspire Nelly Furtado, Christina Aguilera and Gwen Stefani to show more cleavage.

Note: I guess I'm reminiscing because I have to go to Independence Center later this evening and there are quite a few broads in that general vicinity who still (unintentionally or otherwise) still rock the Samantha Fox denim clad fashions . . . Which is funny, sad and sexy all at the same time.

Rock on.

Your car is why you're broke. The solution (for me) is not public transportation but to drive a shitty car

For a huge number of troubled debtors, it all began with a car. Too much car, financed too long, traded too soon.

BLACK TEENS GET SLAP ON THE WRIST FOR KILLING ASIAN DELIVERY DUDE IN KCK!!!

Hopefully, I'll have time to write more on this later but the fact that these teenagers weren't tried as adults is just insulting. They helped to kill a dude for simply for delivering Chinese food. They lured him to his death with a call, which should have qualified as premeditation and then they KILLED HIM . . . Still, they're just gonna be in juvy till they are 22. If you don't think this is racial (Black community with far more pull than the Asians) then you're dreaming. This is really just SHAMEFUL. And will ultimately just let more killers on the street (ironically, in the Black community) even sooner.

Hail to the busdriver man! He drinks and he cusses and allegedly threatens to cut kids!

Overland Park Bus Driver allegedly threatens kid with box cutter. "Do you know what this could do to you?" a 13 year-old claims is what the guy said to him.

Open question: Are homeless people considered trash in Kansas City?

Recently, homeless folks and beggars have been called "visual blight" in Kansas City. I know I call them "bum-ass bastards" when they ask me for money on a bad day (other times I might throw a dollar at them because we all need a drink) but recently a local homeless dude was nearly thrown out with the trash.

Thankfully, the driver of the trash compacter in question reacted quickly and local firefighters got the guy out of harm's way with only minor injuries but this story pretty accurately reflects the attitude of this town toward local homeless bums.

Also, for the record, if you should fall upon hard times: Remember that sleeping in a dumpster might be an even worse idea than depending upon the good will of your fellow man.

Swimming with the Sharks

Channel 9 reports: A former swim coach at Shawnee Mission Northwest High School is arrested on suspicion of indecent solicitation.

The hand that signs the checks, is the hand that rules the world

Channel 9 asks: "Who's Helping Fund KC Mayoral Campaigns?" Answer: It's mostly the usual big money Republican or Democrat donors i.e. different signs of the same coin as far as white people with power go.

One less instance of "visual blight" in KC; if you're cruel like that and hate the homeless

Body Found In Homeless Camp In North KC

Harmon High School Kid Dies in Hit-And-Run

KCK Teen Dies From Injuries In Hit-And-Run

Turn on SCREENtime right now (8:00 p.m.) in KC

A TWO HOUR ORGY of mayoral coverage in Kansas City . . . They (KCPT) really needed to send out a press release to blogs and other media about this . . . While I don't like the Citizens Association at all . . . It's pretty much the only chance to see all the candidates together without leaving your house. I came across the program completely by accident seeing as how I wanted to "get nasty" to a re-run of Masterpiece Theater (don't ask) . . . Tune in from now till 10 . . . Channel 19 if you don't have cable . . . Or just look for KCPT. Right now Becky Nace is busy denying that she ever claimed she was Hispanic or something.

Also, the questions are lame, lame, lame and asked by only white people. Typical Citizens Association garbage but worth a look if you can stand the condescending tones.

From China: Shocking abuse of the Internet that doesn't involve pervs

Electroshock therapy for China's "Internet addicts"

Best Ironic Cath-o-holic Post title of the day

The award goes to IrishKC: "Waiting for God's Dough" Lord have mercy.

Please for the love of God don't relate a recent accident to public transportation or the plight of pedestrians

If only this town had an express bus line . . . No wait, light rail . . . Or, gondolas . . . Or publicly funded Segways for everybody!!! If only . . . Then the sun would shine every day, we'd all be an inch taller, peace and love would rule the planet but unfortunately . . . People would still get hit by cars:

Man run over by 1-3 cars in Westport

Hit and Run in Westport

Police: Man Hit By Several Cars In Westport

And while the report of a poor dude run over in Westport might prove that it was a slow news day yesterday . . . It still doesn't make Clay Chastain's bad plan any better or the fact that KC is not densely populated enough to make millions spent on public transportation worth the money . . . Because now that most of the hipsters have given up on buses because they just aren't as gully as trains, all I see is empty rapid transit lines that were the toast of KC only last summer.

Anyway, I tend NOT to think of this story in terms of dangers to local walkers, of which crime is still a more pressing threat . . . But simply that traffic toward a hangout for local skanks stops for no man . . . And that has been true throughout human history.

NOTE: Can't get this quote out of my head today . . . "The less a man makes declarative statements, the less apt he is to look foolish in retrospect."

TKC's preference for porn stories and other products

It takes talent to tell a dirty story, or a porn story or any kind tale intended to titillate (heh) . . . Margaret Cho had this great bit about pick up lines that ended (rather quickly) with her yelling: "STICK IT IN!"

And that's how it goes for most people who don't take their time with dirty talk/tales for people who don't work on perfecting their delivery . . . That's probably one of the many reason why sex in the real world isn't as awesome as porno action, not only because Jenna Jameson isn't involved but also because most of us just aren't as captivating as coked out broads, the heavy equipment that Lex Steele is packing and productions backed by the mob.

But I digress . . .

The point of this post is to link to Well Hell Michelle . . . A great local blog that features a number of stories regarding porn store customers and the adventures of the author in her former vocation as a clerk in the adult erotica business. The blog is a great read and the most recent post about an adventure at a nearby strip club is interesting because it relates a pleasant interaction with one of those (vampire) broads whereas most of my experiences in places like that usually ended with me punching a woman in the face, crying, an empty wallet and feeling queasy from unadvisedly eating at a strip club buffet.

Anyway, check it out because it's not only a great read but also has a creative marketing tie-in and a bit of useful information as well.

Blinded by Science

OF COURSE, catching a perv by solving a cold case with DNA is most likely not a bad thing but sadly, I think we're getting closer to the day when everybody will be required to give a sample and it'll all be cross referenced and most likely used to make sure we spend more money X-mas shopping and the like . . . All for the good of the children. Check it:

DNA database links suspect to 1996 rape of 9-year-old

DNA credited for cracking 1996 rape case

In the trenches

Claustrophobia is one of many phobias I have and the story regarding a guy pretty much buried alive yesterday seems like one of the worst ways to go imaginable . . . Other than being beaten to death by clowns . . . Which isn't as funny as it sounds actually.

Worker Killed In Northland Trench Collapse

Construction worker killed in Kansas City trench collapse

Show-Me cyclists that hopefully won't be killed when they come through Kansas City

The Columbia City Council has agreed to fund a local stop on a 600-mile bicycle race across Missouri.

The American Dream, the downward spiral and real estate worries

Area house sales decrease 22 percent

Yo dog, the police are rough

Officers Taser Dog . . . And I only wonder if local animal rights folks will get involved and prove once and for all that puppies are far more important that minorities or po'folk who more often endure the same treatment (mostly because they deserve it . . . To be fair)

Also, I'm a cruel and horrible person.

The Star will do almost anything to keep you off of the Internets

We're not just talking silly registration processes and subscription schemes . . . Unless you're frightened of your computer than the print media isn't satisfied.

Today's fear mongering article that hopes to keep a newspaper in your hand and the remaining trees on this planet in short supply: Web surfers beware: The boss is watching.

On the subject of race: White Flight news keeps on pace

Blue Ridge Cinema East is coming down . . . I guess they're demolishing the thing given that nobody has seen a movie there since the early days in Eddie Murphy's career . . . An epoch which proved that Black people were okay as long as they were on screen and not anywhere in the theater or the surrounding area. See: Most rap fans for more info on this subject.

Slamming KC's version of Mr. Spacely

I don't know about you but Albert Riederer reminds me a lot of Mr. Spacely from The Jetsons . . . Only not as nice.

So close to the election it's unfortunate (not really) that Albert Riederer's so-called reputation as a reformer is rubbing off. No homo.

Today, the Star reports that Albert Riederer has taken at least $4,500 from lawyers involved in a multimillion-dollar case heard by his wife, a judge.



Additionally, I'd like to add that I was a bit perpelexed that Riederer was using his prosecutor credentials to hint that he'd like to "do something" about this town's Mexicans . . . As if KC's most pressing problem was the wide availability of really great family restaurants where you can get full for less than 5 bucks.



Anyway, just like silly Jedi Mind tricks these last minute election reports/press releases/surprises/whatever usually don't influence anybody but the weak minded. I doubt hardcore supporters of Mr. Spacely er, Albert Riederer will be dissuaded. And considering that it will only take less than 15 votes to make it to the primary . . . The bad news seems only as important as late afternoon cartoon fare.

Trying to figure out exactly how to thwart international commerce

Missouri lawmakers debating whether English should be the state's "official" language cant agree on what that would mean i.e. how to make sure reactionary legislation only negatively impacts Mexicans . . . Along with ignoring voting rights clauses and hoping that dishwashers can figure where to get TB vaccinations on their own.

A story anybody could have told you with a quick glance from their car

Nadia "I love the rap music and Black people" Pflaum takes nearly five thousand words to note what a sideways glance usually confirms for midtown drivers . . . "Neighbors say the plasma center on Broadway keeps a train of addicts coming back."

More proof that you'd have to be drunk to think that this P&L thing is gonna work out

Obviously, drunks are the target demographic in Kansas City's downtown renaissance.

In recent sobering development news, Maker's Mark Bourbon House and Lounge and (cheesy piano bar) Howl at the Moon are coming to the downtown P&L District as we all now come to the frightening realization that Country Club Kay was drunk with power and horribly mislead the people of Kansas City into funding this inevitable multi-million dollar failure.

Town Topics: Spring Forward into failure

Aaron Knight, a candidate for the Kansas City Council, acknowledged Wednesday that he voted at a Jackson County polling place in the November election while living in Platte County.
- Nice to see that a local politico isn't only confused about payoffs, backstabbing and bowing down before PACs.

A Kansas City agency will meet March 30 to review a revised property tax abatement request for five mostly vacant apartment buildings on and near Armour Boulevard in midtown Kansas City.
- I'm sure whatever is happening in this story is great but you can't fault me as being cynical given that most things involving TIF end in some kind of luxury or otherwise unnecessary development . . . Maybe they'll let the remaining po'folk living in the buildings occupy a closet or something.

KU Med Center enrollment sets record
- Inside joke: People obviously have the wrong idea about Dykes Library OR Sickness and death have always been a growth industries.

Woman Crashes Car Into Building
- It's not news, it's coverage.

Local Woman Upset Over Weather Vane Scam
- Old woman ripped off in an attempt to protect herself from imaginary threat from the sky at some place other than church.

KC Firm NovaStar Financial Inc. shares plunged Wednesday as much as 44 percent after the company reported a fourth-quarter loss,will have little taxable income through 2011.
- Another reason why so many local suits aren't smiling.

Family Of Bank Guard Killed Pleads For Help
- Sad story remains unresolved.

Carnahan and Blunt Announce Online One-Stop-Shop for Small Businesses
- Other than, you know, bankruptcy. Also, it's an Internet site . . . So small biz owners have something other than porn to check out on a slow day .

Van Drives Into Gas Station; Catches Fire
- The driver is missing, presumed slightly charbroiled.

Morality trumps reality once again as preventing cancer isn't as important as appearing chaste

TFK shares some important thoughts regarding news that the HPV vaccine not to be mandatory in Kansas.

Blogger Backtalk: Concerned

The Concern is Back . . . You've been warned about anony negative campaigning.
- My only real concern here is that people actually pay good money and think it'll influence anyone.

"Kansas City is a remarkably hassle-free town to navigate. Sure, I've been trapped on a highway at rush hour."
- An optimistic look about staring uncomfortably at homeless beggars.

A subtle nod for Stan in Shields Commercial?
- You have to begrudgingly admire for putting EVERYTHING out there as the election gets closer.

A review: The Roasterie Cafe
- Irony, thy name is good coffee: Staining your teeth never made you smile so much.

"The first order of business for this new, hip, downtowncentric realty company is to get a tenant for the blighted property RIGHT ACROSS THE FUCKING STREET!"
- Giving the business to this business.

Hoping that people who attempt murder/suicide switch the order

Police: Man Turns Gun On Self After Shooting Ex-Girlfriend

Yo Mama

Regular readers of this blog are most likely horrible people, the ghey or don't have parents who love them. However, I have a mom that I love and I'm pretty sure she likes me too.

So, we made this video together that I think turned out well . . . She let me have a bit more creative freedom with this project and even managed to take direction a little bit but only in the "fun" part of the video and even then she complained. Anyway, that's still pretty unusual considering that most of the time she doesn't like it when I come upstairs from the basement when she's having company.

The video addresses the subject of her community involvement in relation to the police. Recently, she has played a small role in the aftermath of the Salva case , working to ensure that the progress community members have made in terms of cooperation with the KCPD is not lost because of the incident.

Whereas I recently purchased a vintage Cobra Commander GI Joe action figure at quite a bargain on Ebay.

But I digress . . .

The important thing here is that I think the video does a nice job of showing a (very short) candidate who has experience in relation to issues of local crime and community policing whereas so many candidates would rather talk about anything but a subject that makes them nervous about racial issues, socio-economic concerns and slew of other sensibilities. Regardless, it has long been my contention that the issue of crime and violence and this community's cooperation with the KCPD to address those issues is the most important thing facing Kansas City. Every other concern is dependent upon the outcome . . . Still, I usually raise those concerns while posting a photo of a scantily clad model wearing a meter maid costume that's too tight but I think ya'll understand where I'm coming from . . .

Anyway, if you like the video please forward it on to somebody who might also enjoy it . . . If any of you kindly folks have a Fark account, I think "Yo! Small town politico rips off Rocky to make reform" has a nice ring to it as far as a headline goes . . . And if you don't like the video, me or your life . . . Feel free to comment below and pretend that what you type really matters to anyone but your imaginary friend.

Bloggers allowed to belittle Mayoral candidates from the same room!!!

Big News . . . KCUR is letting bloggers in the building for the LAST CHANCE TO CHOOSE THE LESSER OF ALL EVILS . . . On Monday February 26th Up to Date with Steve Kraske will host the final candidate forum before the primary election in the J.C. Nichols Auditorium at the National World War I Museum at the Liberty Memorial. Gully, not only will you get a chance to be in the heart of the beast as far as local politics but also an opportunity to attend the innards of one of this town's white elephants!!!

Eleven of the twelve candidates - Alvin Brooks, Charles Eddy, Janice Ellis, John Fairfield, Mark Funkhouser, Stan Glazer, Jim Glover, Henry Klein, Becky Nace, Albert Riederer, and Katheryn Shields have agreed to participate in the event.

The live 90-minute broadcast is open to the public and begins at 11 a.m. Doors open at 10:30 a.m.

Free wireless internet access will be provided in the auditorium. Live blogging is encouraged. Print and broadcast journalists are welcome to cover the event.

So there you have it and I'm hoping that the net folks won't be completely comprised of Funk supporters, but if I can overcome the digital divide in time and if my sombrero can pick up a wireless signal then I'm gonna do my best to crash this event.

You're Fired

KCPD Chief Corwin recommended that officers involved with denying a local Sudanese woman medical treatment during an arrest should be fired.

Police Chief James Corwin announced Tuesday that he is recommending to the Board of Police Commissioners that Police Officer Kevin Schnell and Police Officer Melody Spencer be terminated.

Corwin also announced he has terminated Detention Facility Officer (DFO) Norman Johnson and reprimanded another DFO.

Officers Schnell and Spencer will be placed on suspension without pay while they await a hearing before the police board. The police chief can not fire a police officer. Only the police board can terminate a police officer, as outlined in Chapter 84 of the Missouri Revised Statutes.

So now, just like Donald Trump's "The Apprentice" discussion of the matter will most likely break down across racial lines, how you feel about bad haircuts and, sadly in this case, a dead baby.

Living in fear blows

Recently, The Star reports that a suspicious package and possible bomb was reported behind a local home. Kansas City police responded with the bomb and arson squad and a fire truck, ambulance and squad cars.

Of course there were a bevy of reporters and camera crews on the scene according to the report.

Here's the money line from the short, sweet story:

"As police eyed the box, a gust of wind blew it over. It was empty."

However, empty is a contentious word given that nobody has devised a way to measure fear or anxiety over the U.S. losing another quagmire as of yet.

Olathe seems a little anxious

In preparation for the for the opening of the Bass Pro Shops 40th Store, Olathe has put 14 extra police officers on duty and could possibly shut down portions of I-35.

It sounds like a fun event. However, I'm hoping that a few minorities who enjoy that kind of sportsman stuff won't send everyone into panic mode . . . Extra credit bonus: Anyone wearing a turban and headed out that way might want to substitute it for one of those flap hats . . . See what I did, I joked that people who are into hunting and fishing (things of that sort that I can more easily partake in behind a computer screen) are somehow intolerant and that's just a horrible stereotype which you'll hopefully never have to see proven true while squealing like a pig.

Things usually work out well for white people

While I'm glad that the Harrisonville guy held in Dubai was reportedly released, I can't claim that I lost a lot of sleep over the subject.

Also, I'm wondering if he's going to pass on any of the cash he made from the business trip over to the saps who took up his cause. Thing is, while the whole "support the troops" things makes sense to me to a certain extent . . . I just refuse to have much sympathy for Halliburton employees or other military contractors because I figure their high pay is part of the high risks they take . . . Very much like dating a hot broad -- they're usually crazy but who needs a loyal woman with a face like a cather's mitt anyway?

Still, the fact that the dude's family sold his case to the local media as if it was some great injustice or of any importance to life in this part of the world was just another example that news of white people in trouble trumps any other concern facing this community.

Now that he's out alive I have no problem saying that I couldn't care less whether he lived or died and unless you're getting a check from Halliburton then you're sucker for believing anything different.

And as far as the family that's soon to be weeping for joy at their son's return from his work at a company that has been described as "war profiteers" by more people than just crazy hippies: The family's actions were reprehensible given that all they really did was try his case in the Kansas City media and depict the courts of Dubai as corrupt and illegitimate because they're run by brown people . . . This is probably true but that's not my point.

What's important here is that a so-called human interest story was turned into propaganda and once again, in very much the same manner as Dick Cheney, a Halliburton employee earned the goodwill and support of the populace yet provided no benefit to them and did so with the complicity of the media.

Town Topics: Good morning Starshine

KC opens a chapter with a literary fest
- And the half dozen people with time to read shall rejoice!

Chief: No Evidence of Arson in Waldo Fire
- Which is usually the point of arson.

Man Dead After Shooting In Street

The percentage of black students enrolled at Missouri law schools has remained stagnant and in some cases declined.
- Nobody left to put the system on trial.

GM will cut production, jobs at Fairfax plant
- Just in case you want to drive by in your Toyota and laugh.

Police: Man Shot To Death While Helping Friend
- One more reason to screen calls.

A Kansas City man plotted an assault on his wife and an arson of his in-laws' home.
- Day dreaming lands dude in jail.

A fire at a Plaza apartment building sent two people to the hospital.
- It's possible to choke to death on the accomplishments of your parents.

Chris Lindley died of an enlarged heart over the weekend.
- I intended to write a post on this but the moment has past, in any event this story has haunted me since the first time I heard it and it's a not so subtle reminder that a bad break can change someone's life dramatically.

Third and Fifth District Council Hopefuls at NAACP Forum
- Informative and insightful coverage from a part of town most people couldn't care less about . . . Check it out.

Will Channel 41 change the face of local TV News?
- I'm not really concerned with the face as much as I'd like my female anchors to show more cleavage . . . Which would undoubtedly improve ratings.

Prosecutors said drivers with suspended or revoked licenses are clogging up our court system.
- A pretty interesting story that reports it's not just Mexicans putting everyone's lives in danger on local roads.

The Kansas City JumpStart is a two-column design based on Zoe Gillenwater's Horizontal Band Layout.
- No reason to link this, it just caught my eye in a computer nerd kind of way.

Clear the way for cars

A FANTASTIC POST by local blogger Scooter J notes that downtown destruction is going to leave the a good part of downtown Kansas City looking very desolate and "The end result will be a massive scar of 8 contiguous city blocks of surface parking clustered in the North Loop."

The bubble has burst

Kansas City's real estate woes are the first example of the national downward trend in the housing market. "The Housing Bubble" is an intensely interesting blog which examines the home price boom and its effect on owners, lenders, regulators, realtors and the economy as a whole. Here's the opening passage from a post concerning this town:

The Kansas City Star reports from Missouri. "Here's how bad the housing market is getting across metropolitan Kansas City: Doug and Cathy Cade are offering a new car or a trip to Hawaii for anyone who buys their five-bedroom Shawnee house for the asking price. And they haven't had a taker. 'It's kind of a down market,' Cathy Cade said."

"Last year, the average resale price of existing homes declined in almost half, 44 percent, of almost 100 ZIP codes tracked by The Star in the six-county area. 'The market has been going up and up and up, and what goes up must come down,'

And the conclusion of this post isn't pretty if you're looking to flip a newly purchased piece of property . . . Not that I want to give away the big surprise but the point of this guy's great post is that if you're looking to get rich quick, it might be too late.

It's best to get married during a bygone era when people had limited options

A Smithville couple has been together almost 51 years and offers advice on living life in love.

Also, if Marilyn Manson couldn't keep his marriage together, what hope is there for the rest of us?

"Thank God, you only gave me Chlamydia" and other greetings!

A New Hallmark line of cards called "Journeys" takes a modern day approach toward offering somebody a scrap of paper in lieu of a real sentiment.

The collection of 176 cards is designed to offer support to people in a variety of real-life situations, the company said in a release. Those situations could include a loved one diagnosed with cancer, a family member considering adoption after years of infertility and a friend who has met a weight-loss goal.

First of all, I don't like the name of the new line . . . "Journeys" should invoke the name of one of my favorite bands . . .



But in this context in sounds like some kind of Lifetime Movie Network Special about 50 something lesbians. Ew.

Still, I see the potential in this move and I have a few greeting card ideas I'd like to pitch:

Congratulations on getting your first marriage out of the way!!!

Here's to your next relapse!!!

I'm sorry your daughter is a crackhead grandma, but I just wanted to wish you a happy Mother's Day.

So, don't bother suing me for whatever results from this unplanned and unprotected sexual encounter. I'm not rich and that was one of the many lies I told to get into your pants.

Whoops! Who knew stripper panties could transmit crabs?!!

Maybe you can put down that shovel you've been waiting around with now and take a moment to grieve . . . Our condolences on the death of your parent.

I'm glad you didn't drip down my leg/your mother hates blowjobs . . . Happy Birthday!!!

Yeah, there's plenty more where that came from . . . I can feel the first TKC syndication deal coming with a quickness or maybe I just have to use the toilet.

Blogger Backtalk: Fighting Words

The fire in Waldo stole Katie's thunder
- One over-sensationalized, blanket coverage, unimportant and widely exaggerated story at a time.

"I really, truly wish there was some way a city could secede from a state."
- This Lawrence blogger offers a sentiment a great many folks from KC can understand.

Star reporter prejudice???
- Does Yael Abouhalkah have it in for the Italians and the Jews? Personally, I doubt it because that kind of prejudice would make his writing way more interesting. I find his bias is usually directed toward nerdy, nice things that will make old people smile . . . And nobody can blame him for knowing his audience. Also, antisemitism is a very serious charge unless you're Borat, The South Park Guys, Lisa Lampanelli, Paul Mooney or somebody . . . Captivating. As for anti-Italian comments or lack of coverage . . . Well that shit is just funny.

What is WRONG with you, Kansas City?! How could you not flock to Addis Ababa on 39th Street?
- Other than the fact that generations of TV watchers have been trained to associate Ethiopia with starvation, hopelessness and death . . . I can't imagine why KC wasn't digging on the country's cuisine.

Almost Paradise . . . Not really

A recent article featured at The Call makes me wonder if they've taken to writing fiction:

Bannister: Forgotten Paradise?

It's an optimistic look at one of the most recent and tangible examples of white flight in action.

However, I don't think I would ever describe Bannister Mall, even in its glory days, as a Paradise. More accurately, it was a place where massive groups of Black guys congregating drove away clientèle from every store in the mall not to mention fights, parking lot robberies and the occasional shooting that caused people of all races to abandon the place . . . In the end, it wasn't knowledge but fear (some of it quite credible) that kept people away . . . And while I can't really ascribe a moral to this story, I can note the irony that a bunch of Black dudes hanging around and yelling will invariably ruin any shopping center but somehow draw a crowd if they're named the Wu-tang Clan.



Finally and for the record, while I'm a great fan of cRap music of all kinds I could never get into the Wu-Tang clan because of the lessons I learned as a teenager hanging out at Bannister Mall . . . Namely, the second a group of Black guys start yelling in unison, the best thing to do is run away.

KCK leaders lie about their interest in Armourdale

Because there is no longer casino gambling and I stopped drinking liquor of the 40oz variety since they banned the bottle in Kansas City during the Stackhaus administration, I don't see any reason to go to KCK. But then again, I don't live there . . . It's expected that politicos in that area might feel differently, but then again maybe not as only 15 of 43 candidates who said they would attend Armourdale event showed up. Their attendance is so bad, it nearly rivals that of registered voters.

Nearby Dicks Get Extension

KU extends winning streak at K-State to 24 games

Veg Out

In recent disgusting eating news, a mouse was allegedly found in Raytown woman's green beans can . . . And that just makes my skin crawl. That's nearly as gut wrenching as the time I found some broccoli in my Chinese takeout.

Protecting kids from someone other than their mothers

Alexa's law is a bill recently passed in the Kansas State House and is designed to protect unborn victims of violent crimes. Yet, there's a chance this legislation could be twisted to prevent expectant mothers from killing their kids and that just wouldn't make sense at all as the value of human life is completely dependent on something as fickle and incomprehensible as a woman's mood.

Getting better all the time and never

You tell me if it's progress . . . Still not much evidence that local police have been able to garner cooperation from the community in their fight against crime but they're getting better at putting Black people in jail as recent reports indicate police solved more homicides in KC in 2006 . . . Not that the fact that more killers are off the street isn't a good thing but getting at the root causes of crime (poverty, penis envy, cRap music, video games and girlfriends) could probably only help in preventing those homicides in the first place.

Coming to grips with the failure of the KCMO School Distirct

A first-grade teacher has been accused of choking a pupil at Border Star Montessori School, the Kansas City School District said Monday. Obviously, I'm not a fan of choking little kids but I'm intrigued by the notion of using physical violence in order to "teach a lesson" so I can only hope that administrators and school board members also get some of the same treatment offered to their students for their repeated failures.

Intolerance is funny

Right now I'm actually (fortunately) stuck with paying work but I had a quick thought about the 4th District Race in KCMO.

While I don't want to leave out the two white guys running, just because they are short . . . I was thinking that the election for the 4th District at-large seat is between a Latina, an Asian Dude and a Jewish broad . . . That's either a remarkable sign of progress for this city . . . A town defined by segregation and racial covenants OR it's the intro to a gully racist joke.

However, I can't make up my mind which one it is . . .

Everyone wants to play King maker

The Star's picks for KCMO City Council are extra disgusting this year not only because they represent the usual elitist, clueless fare that comes from the newspaper but also because the choices seem to represent a perspective from Johnson County (home of most of The Star's editorial staff) where everything must be nice, pretty and well packaged (nullus) before it's acceptable.

I was watching Ruckus the other day and the old, white bastard on the show (other than Mike Shanin) made a great point . . . The Star's endorsement is really more akin to campaign literature . . . They push their slate and then probably expect access and all the other perks that go with "getting behind" the winner in a KC election . . . Not that there's anything wrong with that and everybody knows the score but I'm pretty sure the editorial slant offered to candidates throughout the campaign is as far from "objective" as you can get and I've always believed if people want to know they're being lied to all they have to do is read blogs . . . Full Disclosure: All of my endorsements are based on looks, bribes and the fact that I don't want the heat turned off in this basement.

Anyway, let's took a look at who owes the Star some favors until the next election cycle:

2nd District: Russ Johnson . . . If you don't keep up with this page regularly then you may not know that Russ Johnson is a genius and I guess a few MENSA members would be great to lead KC and try to explain TIF allocations to dumbasses like myself.

3rd District: Sharon Sanders Brooks.

ABSOLUTE WORST PICK BY THE STAR!

I don't know if this is white guilt or deference to Black people with a lot of connections but Brooks only offers more of the same for her district and everyone who has been closely watching this race (3rd District not Black people) has been VERY IMPRESSED with Brandon R. Ellington . . . Not only is he the only 80's baby running (I believe) but his style (dreadlocks!!!) and attitude is exactly what the 3rd District needs instead of somebody who makes great dinner party and cocktail conversation like Brooks.

4th District: Jan Marcason. Again, she's cute, sweet and really belongs at a bake sale and not in City Hall. All of the money she's taken in makes me believe that she'll be nothing more than a puppet for her financial interests because she doesn't seem as if she'll stand up for anything but her order at the Cheesecake Factory. I'm glad they included a nice mention of Forsythe in the piece but honestly the endorsement of Marcason is clearly a case of local politics seen through the eyes of an editorial staff that is mostly comprised of people from Johnson County . . . Clearly, they came up with a housewife in order to ease their conscience or whatever.

4th District at-large: Deth Im. Again, the endorsement of a non-threatening Asian dude who can't talk about anything more important than trees just reveals that the Star doesn't want to spike the blood pressure of their aging demographic. On the plus side, they gave a nice mention to both Valenciano and Gottstein . . . So that's cute and nearly as good as not writing anything at all.

5th District: Mark Porter Here is the exception that proves the rule. This guy is actually very good and has been a voice speaking out against crime and for local po'folk. The fact that they went against Terry Riley is an added bonus as well.

5th District at-large: Cindy Baker Circo I don't know enough about her to insult her.

6th District: Garrett Denzer Again, I don't know much about him but he's a computer nerd so I'm guessing that most of his time will be spent playing Warcraft. Seems as if the Red Bridge folks missed an opportunity by not picking a horse in this race because the home of the future Triangle Bypass is really the biggest issue facing this district and the damage Chuck Eddy did may or may not be impossible to undo.

6th District at-large: And on a bright note, The Star is endorsing Cathy Jolly and so am I . . . While I'm honest and simply note that I want to "get behind her" because her new makeover has made her the hottest candidate for City Council . . . The Star mentions something silly like experience and skill which I find are overrated qualities in both politicians and women because they only mean that the person in question has more practice at grabbing ankle to further their own agenda.

Bad Bedhead Blogger

Ugh, blame Boulevard Wheat for today's lack of posting. Funny, looking through bloglines and a bunch of other local bloggers seem to be extra busy!!! Good for them, the only thing worth noting in my part of Kansas City is an extraordinary headache.

More posts might be forthcoming but I'm still far more concerned with how Britney's doing.

Whenever you hear the word "closure" everything after is usually crap

Longtime KC residents should remember that they pinned a group of WT with the death of 5 firefighters in nothing more than an attempt to expedite the case and get it out of the public eye. Nothing (much) more than the word of jail house snitches was used to convict the folks and now the same quality of con is saying those folks are innocent . . . And the only thing I can take from all of this is that it's a bad idea to to be poor. Update: Don't write sleepy or drunk.

Local blogger is an Omni (advertising) award winner

I was gonna make a snarky comment but the truth is that I've always wanted one of these and I think that white people should be awarded for their creativity.

It's best not to think too hard about KC's budget

MM&I asks some great questions about KC's budget and a bunch of her favorite allocations . . . She finds that a meeting that could answer some of her concerns will be held AFTER the primary election and I bet if she waits another 4 years till somebody else is running for office, She just might get some answers. Or at least they'll offer a study!!!

Snowball Fight Shatters Lives in KC Suburb

Overland Park teens face battery charges for allegedly throwing a snowball at a city worker: "I had no idea throwing a snowball was going to jeopardize my life." Also, life in the Johnson County is actually this stupid. Nobody messes with KCMO public works people because it's not nice to disturb folks when they're sleeping. I keed, I keed, please keep my water on.

It's ghey to pay for news

Thanks to the KC Blue Blog for sending this one my way . . . I think it's pretty common knowledge that most subscription sites on the net are scams. Yet, I know that one sure way to make a buck is to offer premium porn. However, I didn't think the Star would take that route so quickly as Yael Abouhalkah writes what is most likely the most blatantly homersexual headline in Kansas City Internet History: "High, Hard and Inside"

Ugh, I can hear show tunes in my head just from reading that and I'm not even sure what he's referring to yet . . . In fact, I don't want to know. Sure, I'm flattered . . . Maybe even a little bit curious but there are certain things I don't want find out no matter what the price . . . Private politico offerings is just one of many of those subjects.

The TKC Saturday Night Podcast

I think it's time to "reclaim" Afroman . . . Yeah, he's an artist whose work is more likely to be listened to by Frat dudes (he's coming to Lawrence to play a frat house in the Spring) rather than "serious" hip-hop fans but there is no denying the guy is a genius.

Even better, here are some tracks that I've recently come across using the Myspace favorite Project Playlist . . . The obvious benefit here is that I'm not hosting any of these files on my blog, I've merely linked them . . . Anyway, I like it and it's a good way to flaunt my bad taste in music.

So enjoy these tracks and try to figure out whether or not I'm joking by displaying them . . . Which makes it very much like reading some of the silly opinions I spout on this page. In any event . . . Have a fun and safe weekend and thank you for reading.

Whether by Mexicans and bullets or bright lights and bad odds, the locals won't leave the casinos with their money

KSHB reports: Authorities said a man and a woman were waiting for their car to warm up before leaving the casino around 4 a.m. Three Hispanic men in a white or gray pickup truck pull up and demanded money. They then fired eight shots hitting the man once.

When white women are inconvenienced, it's BIG NEWS!!!

When a big story breaks in this town like the fire yesterday in Waldo, all of the local media outlets are all over it and for the most part it's a good thing that they try to get every angle of the story.

However, I couldn't help but laugh yesterday upon hearing that the bridal store in the building burned down as well along with the ensuing reports of brides throughout the metro who faced hardship because of the fact. And no, I'm not making fun of the suffering of the business owners or folks who had weddings that could have been "ruined" because they didn't have a piece of cloth but it's just hard for me to find a "human interest" angle in the angst of people who have enough money to buy dinner for hundreds of people and parade around like an idiot during what is most often a religious ceremony in other cultures. Additionally, I don't even want to get into how blood diamonds are almost always a part of these big, posh weddings where a fancy dress is involved.

Still, the reports of this distressed brides made me think how unbelievably lucky I am that I was never trapped (thank you Trojans!) with a broad who would spend hundreds (if not thousands) on a white (or even off white) dress that is a cultural indicator of purity where every man, woman and child in the room where the thing is displayed is aware that the virginal symbolism of the dress is nothing more than one of many lies upon which all marriages are built.

What's more I think that a really nice, white wedding dress is also misleading when it comes to a dude making what might be upwards of a 5 to 10 year commitment to a broad . . . Over that time women never, NEVER look as good as they did before the wedding so I think that a broad who eschews all of the cultural trappings and walks down the aisle naked is really showing everyone that she's got nothing to hide. Obviously, that's far more important than the long list of former lovers she has no doubt taken AND more importantly it lets everyone see where the saddlebags will hang firsthand. In the end, unfortunately, it's all about honesty or at least how well relationships can hold the truth at bay.

And on a completely unrelated note to this whole rant . . . It was interesting to read that local blog Frighteningly Uncommon Sense got in on the new gathering action as the insightufl author revealed (during an interview on NewsRadio 980 KMBZ) that she was not an insane bride and only slightly inconvenienced by the whole mess and thankfully did not take it as a bad omen.

And I guess that's my point, nearly every big wedding with a nice dress I've ever seen has been about all of the expensive, material crap that people come up with to impress their guests and rarely has anything to do with the intentions of the couple and how difficult, nearly impossible it is to keep any kind of commitment in an age where almost every convenience is only a click away.

Shields can talk all she wants

But there won't be any evidence to back it up . . . Which is basically the case with all of the Mayoral candidates during this election.

Cooperation catches crooks in Westport and allows telcom companies to remain the only ones who get away with robbing hand over fist

Folks with guns in Westport are caught at the Sprint store in Westport whereas nobody really cares about all of your dropped calls.

Working for the Weekend

Everybody I know works weekends but I guess it's a big deal for the rich, white Males who are the mainstay of Congress to do so . . . BioChemical Slang expertly explains what they got accomplished today whereas I have even more important things (like vacuuming) to do.

Talking to people who have been shot is a great way to realize you're spoiled

A very brave member of the KCPD shares his story . . . Also, whenever I've talked to somebody who has taken a bullet they always tell me that it doesn't hurt so much as it burns . . . The memory that stays with them the most is the intense heat and terror, which always sounds like what it must be like to live in the Middle-east.

New and exciting ways to get kicked out of your home in Kansas City

A quick story on KMBC detailed how four kids were put into state custody because their parents couldn't avoid codes violations. On the face of it, I understand that having messy neighbors is more than an annoynace but the more I see "Codes Violations" used in this town, the more I'm convinced that they are almost entirely based on race and socio-economic factors.

For instance, yuppie and hippie structures are allowed to stall and halfway completed structures will occupy space for months at a time while they're looking for speculative investors in order to make a gamble but when a house is obviously occupied by po'folk and the neighborhood is "in play" by people who are looking to make a quick buck then the codes violations come with a quickness . . . I'm not making any indictments here but anyone who has lived in a "transitional" neighborhood in this town has seen it for themselves . . . My solution: Po'folk need to know that a lawnmower could be the most important investment they ever make OR they need to devise some kind of camps and train rides out of town for people unable to afford luxury living space . . . Because they're obviously no longer welcome in Kansas City.

Coming to Kansas City: Visitors you despise a lot less than Mexican immigrants

The Kansas City Convention & Visitors Association (KCCVA) has booked 224 meetings already for 2007 . . . The KC Infozine provides a nice run-down of upcoming events.

What can local white people teach us about hip-hop? Come find out at the library!

Upcoming Hip Hop Shows in Kansas City

The Dead Sea Scrolls look surprisingly similar to toilet paper

Local blogger Emaw posts a comprehensive and throughly descriptive review of the new KC exhibit . . . Assuming that anybody gives a crap about history in this town then the so-called attraction just might generate a little cash for Union Station but I wouldn't count on since it has been foretold by anybody with common sense that the only way that this town's favorite tomb will ever make money is if it's turned into a casino.

Sex and war metaphors just in time for Spring!

Thanks to The D for pointing me towards The (new and improved) Brigade "Girls" . . . Still, not only have I always disliked calling grown, of-age stripper class women "girls" but also I believe the moniker implies that these broads aren't experienced . . . First of all, ew and secondly as the team is now no longer a novelty in Kansas City I'm wondering if their impressive attendance record from last season will hold up . . . The possibility exists that sports fans might move on to other interests like a dude who scores a stripper but then gets tired of listening to her complain about going back to college or her mulatto kid.

Finally, as of now the Brigade are THE ONLY team this town has reserved for the new Sprint Center so glamor shots and photo-shopped local talent better be enough to draw a crowd because I can't believe anybody would watch fake football based solely on its merits. Still, there's no arguing that the team garnered an impressive number of eager and curious fans last season. Maybe the attraction is a lot like the very nice photos of these broads . . . They don't show much but they're just interesting enough for you to use your imagination. Also, a long time ago I came to the conclusion that all sports in Kansas City (given our tiny media market) happen to be nothing more than an exercise in masturbation.

EVERY BLOGGER POSTS BALD BRITNEY!!!

There is no bigger news than a bald Britney Spears . . . And then I heard there was some war going on somewhere and locally, half the city is running for Mayor . . . But anyway, did you know that more people read Perez Hilton than any other Internet offering coming from Kansas City? That kind of puts this town in perspective. Anyway, I'm hoping Brit's new hairdo starts a fashion trend or at least a mass realization that white women are crazy despite good looks and good fortune earned with little talent.

Photos from the scene of the FIRE - Just in from Jazo

Take a look at the KCFD get the fire at Kennedy's under control. So far, reports indicate that 5 of them where hurt while putting out that blaze.

Extra special shout out to Jazo and to all goodwill among local bloggers!

Rock on.

Update: Check out the fire from another angle from IrishKC . . . As an added bonus, his photos aren't the least bit blurry . . . I guess it's still pretty early in the morning . . . Sorry, had to because it was easy.

Natch.

5 Firefighters Injured In Waldo Fire - Water pressure and KC's infrastructure an issue in a crisis

The fire at Kennedy's is the breaking news story of the day but one of a VERY SMART commenter named Brett accurately pointed out that one aspect of the day's destruction related to Kansas City's infrastructure . . . KSHB reports on the sad state of affairs in this passage:

The fire department is currently battling the flames in a defensive mode, trying to keep it from spreading . . . The water department is trying to help boost the pressure for firefighters on the scene. They are currently concentrating efforts to the originating structure and prevent the spread.

We can all examine motives or Don't get on the Black list of The Pitch (or lack thereof)

Alonzo Washington keeps turning down The Pitch for interviews (and you know that's rare for him! Badump-bump-bump) So now The Pitch is attacking him in their editorial content. Even worse, they attempt to lay out the inner-workings of Kansas City's Black Community when the minority hiring rate at that newspaper and New Times/Village Voice publications across the country is pretty abysmal. So honestly, how would they really know? Of course, smarter bloggers than myself dishing on what it's like to be a person of color and work someplace like the "lily white" Pitch and it seems like it's pretty bad and just as stereotypical as I joke when all they can do is write hit pieces regarding minorities while unquestioningly praise every hipster project that comes across their desk. I know to some extent, it's all about demographics . . . But damn.

So what are you gonna be listening to in the next few days?

photo swiped from SI and The Bastardly - both really good!

As always the Event Driver points us toward a bevy of local music events.

Equally reliable Toast always knows the best stuff going on in KC as well as she points us toward tonight's the "Sister Mary Rotten Crotch punk rawk reunion show!" Also, she hints at upcoming Mardi Gras activities which won't be so downbeat this year because I think we can all officially forget about Hurricane Katrina only two years after President Bush did . . . Anyway, the next few days in Kansas City not only seem to be warming up but also offer folks a chance to watch and participate in something other than the two step performances put on by mayoral candidates.

A lot of Funk Fans on YouTube

Local blogger and news dude Laz has an impressive collection of folks on YouTube who are backing the funk. Take a look and see what they have to say and then wonder why more candidates aren't using this as an inexpensive and convenient forum. In that respect, Funkhouser is far ahead of the curve.

More coverage of the Kennedy's fire from local photo journalist Laz

A bunch of nice shots . . . See for yourself.

One more blogger in a TIF

Via The Flogging of America

A newish KC blog takes a critical look at some of this town's finances and how we're all (seemingly) dedicated to luxury and upscale development with very loose definitions of the word "blighted."

It's not the weekend without "sweatin the small stuff"

All kinds of topics taken on with expert skill at Death's Door.

Reach reaches one more

Check out JustCara's track review of local Rapper reach. It's nice to see that she's not only an Internets Celebrity blogger but she has great taste in music.

Watch Waldo Burn Live!!!

BlogKC points you in the right direction to watch today's fire at a Waldo Bar and grill. In response to the dangerous and tragic fire I'm sure the mayoral candidates will have a lot of suggestions involving downtown development.

Claire is caught keeping secrets

Also, Combest cracks me up for finding this . . . The (rather tame) caption Claire contest over at Mediabistro.

Student brings gun to bus stop and threatens female classmate

Obviously, KC School kids are also slow on the uptake when it comes to getting over Valentine's Day.

Jalapenos throughout History!!!

Today, the Star runs an interesting story about Chilies and of course it's easy to relate this article not only to local Latino restaurants but also to the fact with 6,000 years of history in this hemisphere . . . Brown people and their spicy food aren't going anywhere anytime soon . . . However, I'm a new fan of Anthony Bourdain and his new show on the Travel Channel and I was surprised when he revealed that it's actually Americans who like their food really, stereotypically hot and Mexicans are often annoyed by this . . . Odd . . . The more you know . . .

Town Topics: (Unfortunately) The children are our future

The kids aren't all right and KC Police Chief Corwin is asking for help with something other than locking them up

Becy Nace wants to cut you and service somebody besides the Republicans behind her

An Ode To The Beauty Of Winter . . . The X-man writes what we all were thinking

"The Good, The Bad and The Ugly #3" - An LMC roundup

Irish KC reports on an International musical get together that doesn't involve shrieks of terror

Horray! Rusty is back in KC or at least the Northern part that will pass for it

Everybody should be friends with Pomegranate!!!!

This town's contribution to the "Kill my landlord" epic poem first penned by Eddie Murphy: KC hires specialist to rein in landlords

Man Injured In KCK Shooting

Boy, 12, Seriously Injured When Car Hits Him

A possible set up involving Halliburton that people are more likely to believe: Talbert May Face Trial On Drug Charges

If only they could finally find out what "martinizing" really is and tell me: Gunmen Hold Up Dry Cleaning Store

There is more money in witchcraft then you could possibly imagine: Cleveland Chiropractic pays $17.5M for two OP buildings

Another perspective on the Panhandling Ban in Kansas City

Hey Marty! I think this fan shares a lot of local sentiment about this town's ex coach.

Caffeinated & Opinionated like most people who work in KC

A great review of Linda's Coffeehouse by Joe in Kansas City as his blog is quickly becoming a great local resource not only for nice local cafes but also where to find wired broads with stained teeth . . . And that's always useful.

Running from something other than criminals in Wyco

This interesting post provides details about a recent race in Wyco through some of the wooded areas.

I like the title of the event which took place last weekend and the post includes photos of the trek.

Note: While thhe dumped dead bodies of hookers will always improve your time, fortunately it didn't look like they ran into any.

A bit of early morning Catholic advice that doesn't involve guilt

A local Catholic blogger makes a call for more of the faithful to take up this self-indulgent hobby in a wonderfully titled entry: "How to write a blog post . . ."

It's a cold world, dog

While the freezing cold over the past couple of days has most likely reduced the number of homeless people in Kansas City by a considerable margin I'm glad that the TV news still has a warm place in their heart for puppies as a report of an abandoned dog found frozen to the ice in Kansas City seems to have picked up national attention . . . Contrastingly, when stinky, homeless bums are found frozen to the ice the only attention they normally get is an annoyed call for a shovel from whoever is (unfortunately) charged with cleaning them up . . . As this town slowly turns into a collection of luxury living spaces and shopping centers it's nice to see that, at the very least, the media still pours affection on dogs because they are cute even if people are portrayed as nothing more than visual blight.

So here's that local stolen Jeep video

Channel 9 had a story about a local couple trying to get their jeep back using Youtube but strangely, as of this posting, they didn't have the link.

To relate this to news . . . This video is one of the reasons that public transportation will never work in this town i.e. most people will never feel this passionately about a train with other nasty people in it as they do for something they own and can turn into a fetish like the folks do with this ugly ass looking conveyance. Also, Kansas City isn't as densely populated as other areas where mass transit has really taken off . . . Tokyo, Mexico City, New York, etc.

And if you try and use the argument that "all we need is light rail" to transform into a world class city like those listed above then you should get ridden out of town on a rail to whatever town Clay Chastain is currently occupying.

So that's who has been circling Kansas City for nearly a generation

Maybe it's because I'm a nerd, I listen to traffic news too much for somebody that doesn't have to commute or the fact that I've recently become quite interested in helicopters but I found last night's interview with Johnny Rowlands pretty interesting in as much as gathering news with the help of technology is both the way of the past and the future.

The end of the original

Initially, I didn't think that the news of Stephenson's Old Apple Farm Restaurant closing down was that important . . . I never ate there so I didn't understand the charm of the place.

However, upon thinking about the topic more and reading one or two wonderfully sentimental thoughts from lovely local bloggers I think there is a greater trend at work.

The closing of a real Kansas City area country kitchen in the face of popular restaurants like "Country Kitchen" and "Bob Evans" seemingly doing just fine causes me to realize that it truly is a post-modern world we live in . . . Why bother seeing Venice anymore when the Venetian hotel and casino is so much more affordable and safer to visit? The same goes for just about any attraction from Paris to local "neighborhood" restaurants that are actually nothing more than a corporate chain occupying every corner where McMansions are fabricated.

So, as places like Stephenson's drop off one by one across the area I'm not exactly sad because their meaning is still intact but has been repurposed and reproduced much more efficiently at many more locations only with more Mexicans working in the kitchen. Of course there is always something lost in the replication but until they figure out how to run a business on sentiment (like that for the physical product used to deliver music -- thanks so much RIAA) then I'm afraid that news of an end of an era will be pretty much business as usual.

Indian (Springs) Resurrection

Folks who are much smarter than me are planning on spending $260 million to develop in and around the old, desolate Indian Springs Shopping Mall. $70 mil cold come from TIF financing alone . . . At this stage of the grand scheme they're attempting to get the thoughts of the public in an upcoming pow-wow.

As usual, I don't have anything intelligent to contribute but I wonder if anybody in the planning stages has asked if a slew of minority kids aimlessly hanging around will kill Indian Springs this time around, since that was pretty much what led to the demise of the place the first time. (Note: Some of that took place when I was a pre-teen and I have to admit it was fun)

Local library lets loose with a new attraction other than old books

Kansas City's Central Library is planing on spending $210,000 in order to make its basement seem more like a theater. The building was formerly a bank and the basement is a vault but now that it's a library all the place does is lose money, so there ends the similarity . . . Anyway, in order to make the conversion complete I'm assuming that all of the homeless, smelly bums who occupy the place during the day will take some part in making the floors horribly sticky just like a real movie theater. Ew, is right.

But I'm not sure if they really want a Hollywood style makeover since, as Anna Nichole Smith's last transformation has taught us . . . It only means that you'll be dead a few years later as a result . . .



Also, if Hollywood is any indication, it seems that a makeover only helps to sell tabloids and offers little if any advancement in terms of a career.

Still, I won't mind watching movies with the homeless bums at the library . . . I always wondered when they would perfect the smell-o-vision technology and I'm proud to see that Kansas City is leading the way.

A lesson from the animal world on why we kill each other

Tfk has a fascinating post which admits that getting along together is tough, he goes into detail about the methodology whereby insects kill each other but I'm not exactly sure it applies to humans other than the fact that there are many ways that we have of killing each other as well.

Taking lessons from the animal kingdom is always a dangerous proposition. One of my favorite phrases in the movie "The Fly" goes as follows: "Have you ever heard of insect politics?" . . . "No" . . . "Because they don't have any."

Fate is cruel for animals and that's why you never see an old one that isn't domesticated. To relate this phenomenon to KC politics the first thing that comes to mind is the recent flap over a piece of campaign propaganda which CLAIMS that mayoral candidate Mark Funkhouser doesn't care about po'folk. Obviously, the push piece misrepresents his position but his stance (which he has been completely forthright about) regarding city services above all else does represent an interesting choice for voters. I'm all for pragmatism but them I remember that the most expedient thing for local politicos to do for many years is all but ignore the violence and crime that takes place on the Eastside and the tragic toll that it's taking on this city's young, Black men. And the thing is, I've always contended that this situation effects us all even if there is no immediate impact. However, seeing the big picture in regard to violence or health care requires human reasoning and not animal instinct or even cold Vulcan logic . . . And it looks as if this campaign (luckily) is going to force Kansas City voters to think past their first impressions and really examine how they feel about the direction of their city while doing their best to decipher the positions of a slew of contenders competing over the prize like scavengers over carrion . . . Forgive the overwrought analogy, I'm feeling a tad poetic this morning.

Hawk eye: Good looking out

This nice post on the subject of hawk watching in Kansas City reminds me that I need to get some lunch . . . Maybe chicken . . . Better yet, Go Chicken Go if I didn't care about my arteries. Still, lots of options even though I'll probably settle on M&M's.

By the way, if you have any opinions on longer posts vs. blue links vs. whatever request you'd like (and I'll ignore) please let me know in the comments because I'm feeling restless and thinking about changing things up once again.

What I'm listening to right now: Rock the Casbah - The Clash
What I'm reading: Billy Sunday on white music for Black people.
What I'm watching: Gollum & Smeagol sing Barry White

Taking a senior for $300 with a gun instead of a phone tells me that this town is getting rougher

KCT5 reports: Men Force 73-Year-Old Man Into His House, Rob Him at Gunpoint

Word of KC's attempt to kill nightlife gets around quickly

A two page article about the debacle at the Mutual Musicians Foundation from the Canadian media covers the subject pretty comprehensively:"Booze ban threatens to bring demise of historic Kansas City jazz hall"

Eastside houses aren't the only places abandoned in that neighborhood

Bruce R Watkins Center Often Empty

"When you grow up in Kansas City, that whole Count Basie sound is in your blood''

Sweet Baby J'ai is a Jazz singer that I've never heard of before and she lives in California but at least she's using the fact that she's a Kansas City native as an advantage which is probably a good idea if you're not a more traditional pop singer (read: a young white broad stealing Black music).

Anyway, after listening to a few of the songs on her recent album I kind of like it and admire anybody with the courage to name a song "Nature Boy." So, you might want to take a listen even though most Jazz music makes me want to kill myself along with a few of my hipster neighbors.

As an added value, if you're ever going to seduce a Black woman in her early 50's, this is probably the music you want to have on hand . . . And that situation comes up all the time for most of us, right?

Alzheimer's sufferer made KC a stop on his unwitting journey halfway across the country

The guy is seemingly unharmed and headed back home . . . And, in this case at least, nobody can feel too bad that the guy found Kansas City forgettable. Double bonus Alzheimer's joke: I've promised loved ones that if they should ever suffer from the horrible fate of Alzheimer's I'll continually lie to them about what great lives they've had and how we just got back from vacation.

4 1/2 years for involuntary manslaughter of an 8 year-old

Local firecracker case makes me think about cruel fate and how lucky I am to have all my fingers considering how much I loved those stupid things when I was a kid.

17 year-old KC girl hit by something other than a bullet

KCTV 5 reports that police apprehended what they believe to be a drunk driver after a chase.

Is it just me or is Cathy Jolly kinda hot?

They say that politics is Hollywood for ugly people and for the most part that's true in the same sense that celebrity worship is the idolization of idiots. Nevertheless every now and then there are exceptions to these rules.

Cathy Jolly is currently running in the 6th District at-large race for the KCMO City Council along with unwittingly competing for a higher ranking in my "spank bank" when it comes to twisted fantasies about defiling women with power. Move over Eleanor Roosevelt!!!

Anyway, Jolly has been in politics for quite a while which is strange because usually being around that kind of thing turns most women (and a lot of men) into something that resembles a frog. It's also rather odd that Jolly is capitalizing on her experience rather than simply shrugging questions about her past and batting her eyes like most women do. Still, Jolly has managed to keep her good looks and even improve upon them.

Like most candidates she has invested in some glamor shots and a make-over in an attempt to make eye candy part of her political arsenal . . . Also, she must run or something because, damn. Nice wheels. Seriously.

Anyway, here's an older photo of Jolly making the mistake of thinking that voters care if a candidate looks serious as she rocks the classic "soccer mom" haircut:



Now here's what I like when I'm paying attention to haircuts and not feet, which is admittedly a rarity. Jolly now has a stripper hairdo and it works nicely to help me forget that the 6th District is going down the toilet because every cent this city has is getting sunk into downtown:



Very nice. I only wonder if she'll take cash donations in singles and if there isn't some kind of "champagne room" for enthusiastic potential contributors like myself.

But then again, upon further review I just discovered that she's married with kids . . . Which still makes her akin to nearly 1/4 of all the strippers I know and yet another reason that KC politics has once again disappointed me.

Citizens Association Creeps

Begrudgingly, I have to admit that the best article regarding KC politics today comes from The Pitch regarding the innerworkings of The Citizens Association.

While I have some serious doubts that anybody pays much attention to any endorsement once they get into the privacy of the voting booth and put their faith in Diebold . . . For some reason this year didn't see much change in all of the endorsement hoopla that seems to consume nearly every candidate . . .

But the important thing to ask is what kind of impact do big money endorsements have, if any . . . Well, if you were to believe that the Citizens Association runs KC politics the way that Jay-Z runs Def Jam records than the results are pretty pathetic . . . Take a look at the Citizens Association candidates from the last election cycle and see if you're satisfied with the results:



All things considered, I'm still not sure if the Citizens Association has enough pull to actually make a difference in the outcome of an election but if, in fact, they do then what they've come up with over the years is very dismal and I don't see a difference in the folks they're currently backing.

Funky Enough

Eventually, everything gets nasty in Kansas City politics but it's worth noting that this town's love affair with Mark Funkhouser might soon be at an end if the full frontal assault (no homo???) on Fukhouser's position on po'folk is any indication.

While unsigned attack ads or any outright attacks do little but increase the name recognition of the candidate in question, local blogger Dan believes that dark forces (namely Jeff Roe) is at work in a recent push piece against Funkhouser . . . Check it:



Thing is, it happens to be true in as much as that's exactly kind of what Funk said about the City providing public funding for indigent health care (read: po'folk).

Most municipalities (no one else in the metro area) do not provide indigent health care. Thus, Kansas City is put at a considerable competitive disadvantage when it comes to funding broad-based basic services. People receiving indigent health care are a vulnerable population who also rely upon a wide variety of other services provided by the City including adequate public safety, transit, illegal dumping enforcement, basic infrastructure, etc. The City should focus on providing outcomes addressing these primary functions affecting everyone and spend money wisely to provide the most overall good for these vulnerable citizens while recognizing the potential trade-offs.

In fact, the Greater Kansas City Chamber of Commerce has a pretty extensive list of candidate answers to a slew of questions (Courtesy of the City Haller ???) if you're going to base your vote on anything other than who gave you an extra warm and fuzzy handshake:

MAYORAL CANDIDATES GET DOWN TO ISSUES

Here are two answers to the same question that I like much more:

Henry Klein: Indigent care funding is a priority of mine and I was glad to see this as one of your questions. Ideally, all of our citizens should have health care. In a related subject, I will be looking for ways the city can incent all of our employers to provide health care or other ways the city might be able to offer health care to those who don't have it.

(Note: Lately, Klein has also been talking about more police as an answer to crime. A TKC reader? But more likely one of many good ideas that aren't getting the attention they deserve)

Jim Glover: Yes, the city should continue to fund indigent health care. In 1989 and 2005, city residents approved health levies to do just that. I supported and voted for those levies. Formulas for the distribution of the revenue were developed before the citizens voted on those issues, and I believe we should adhere to the same formulas while we find new funds for additional needs. I am proud to have served as a member of the TMC board during my first two terms on the council, and I look forward to helping our health-care providers as mayor.

Stanford Glazer: Indigent health care is primarily a state function. However, the city has an historical and moral obligation to help its most needy citizens. We have an excellent City Health Department that is well funded and we need to continue to find money for indigent health care.
***********************

Put simply, I hate unsigned stuff as well and but it's pretty much par for the course when it comes to KC politics . . . As for Funkhouser, while I appreciate his cold, Vulcan logic it's not exactly the nicest thought to come from City Hall coming on the heels of the outgoing administration that didn't believe in property rights.

I know when it comes to a balanced budget Funkhouser reigns supreme but as I've written before; matters of development, commerce and city services come in a distant second when this town is dealing with dead bodies on the street.

Still, Dan makes a great point:It's doubtful that the author of this negative campaign propaganda has much concern for folks who need indigent health care either.

Double Bonus: All this talk of funky, hard hitting phrases made me think of this classic by the one and only D.O.C.:

Meet Mike Ferguson

I have no idea why I'm in such a great mood this morning but I think it's worthwhile to link up another person in Missouri politics who doesn't make my skin crawl.

Mike Ferguson is a great guy I met awhile ago who has worked in non-profits, media and the Libertarian Party . . . Which is not to imply that he's a fan of lost causes but more likely that he doesn't mind a bit of struggle.

Anyway, his site Mike Ferguson Online isn't exactly a blog but it does feature some interviews with Missouri leaders from both sides of the political fence. Take a look and you might be happy to learn that not all people with an interest in Show-Me state politics are horrible creeps like myself.

From the District you really don't care about

I've met Dee Williams a couple of times and I like her style and her campaign . . . With a smaller campaign budget and fewer (bought and paid for) endorsements she's running a grass roots (read: no money) campaign against Melba Curls to win a seat in the 3rd District . . . You know, the place where a lot of the shootings in this town are reported . . . Anyway, recently I received a report that she's doing great in front of everybody she can talk to even if the local media has yet to pick up on her inspiring underdog story.

Below are results from a recent forum for all of the 3rd District Canidates . . . Also, I would have posted this yesterday but crying while searching for any semblance of a gift got in my way. Thanks to the tipster who sent this in and keep it coming . . .

Last evening (Monday) at True Vine Baptist Church, CCO -- in partnership with True Vine Baptist, Metropolitan Missionary Baptist, Washington Wheatley Neighborhood Association and True Vine CDC -- hosted a 3rd district candidate forum. At the conclusion of that forum, a poll was taken by ballot. The results are as follows:

Attendees: 67
Ballots Cast: 52

At-Large: Curls 29%, Williams 71%

In-District: Brooks 32%, Coe 4%, Ellington 44%, McFadder-Weaver 16%, Powell 4%

The Star updates web strategy to 1998! Press releases and pay per view!

Bottomline Communications recently provided a break down of the new offerings with some details while I'll simply ignore the new offerings from the KC Star (just like most people will) and try not to remind everybody that more people read Perez Hilton.

Plans for the KCI Motorsports Park offer today's reminder that you need more money

The KC Biz Journal reports: Plans for a $25 million country club for automobile enthusiasts near Kansas City International Airport were endorsed Wednesday by the Kansas City Council's Aviation Committee.

Panhandlers in Kansas City practicing dance steps

Nice to see everybody in this town sticking up for street performers because it's good to have public reminders to everyone that a career in the arts is pretty much unfeasible. Also, I'm hoping that just because I laugh at the pain of homeless people begging for money that doesn't qualify them as comedians . . . Because most people hate that type of humor.

JAIL TIME FOR JARED ALLEN

Jared Allen will serve two days in jail for a recent DUI . . . I guess we should all hope that he gets the help he needs since he has admitted that he has a drinking problem . . . Also, it's good to know that he's in the custody of the police for at least a couple of days because I thought he'd been missing since the first quarter of the Chief's playoff appearance.

Recent robberies that didn't involve romance

Hard to believe that folks selling flowers or pushing Hallmark gifts weren't the only ones out there stealing from people yesterday:

Gunman Robs Southeast KC Post Office

Robber Issues Bomb Threat At Northland Bank

Still, I'm sure that money getting money to impress some broad is at the root of most crimes . . . Well, that and the fact that working isn't much fun.

Protect financial services companies even if they can't provide you any security

100k is offered to turn in the Bishop Bomber

Shawnee man certainly not afraid of shrinkage

A woman and her kids saw a naked dude sledding in a Shawnee park yesterday. Thankfully, she responded quickly and reported the incident to authorities in order to teach her kids that the human body is evil and dumb white kids are the most pressing social problem facing this nation. Well done on all accounts. Still, bitter cold and sharp ice make me think that this story could have hurt a lot more than the lady's sensibilities.

At least you never lost a war to Mexican immigrants

US now starting to accept Iraqi refugees . . . Here's hoping that their food and culture is just as gully as the Viet Cong who Carter let in en masse.

The Valentine's Day Recovery

There are probably thoughtful dudes out there who thoroughly plan out Valentine's Day activities and gifts for their sweethearts but I'm sure that those same dudes are most likely dating women who cheat on them and call them a sucker behind their back. Personally, I think procrastination provides the best kind of thrill while dealing with a situation or holiday where coming up empty handed means hearing about it for at least a year.

Yesterday, I didn't really have time to update the blog very much because I was engaged in the following activities.

Punching a 70 year-old woman in the face for cutting in front of me at a candle store. I didn't get the candle but they probably didn't get my license plate number either.

Crying at the florist and asking if they had some kind of public assistance or layaway plan given that a dozen roses cost as much as my parents first house.

Openly begging for a table at McDonald's given that every other restaurant in town had their answering machine taking calls for folks attempting to make late reservations. The message went like this: "Don't even bother, scumbag."

Still, yesterday turned out well and my Valentine was pleased with the Valentine's Day tic-tacks, a bouquet of Slim Jims and standing at the back of popular restaurant and smelling the food rather than actually eating anything. She's good like that and I know that I'm lucky.

No matter what, my mama has always been one of my "hometown heroes"

During Hispanic Heritage Month KCPT profiled a number local Latinos for a series entitled "Hometown Heros," Rita Valenciano was one of them. I liked it a lot more than the small profile she received today in The Star.

If you look very closely, for a second there's a shot of me in there as well on a rare day when I decided to take a shower.

As the election approaches, it's easy to get some kind of false sense of finality but I'm comforted by the thought that my mom has a long history of activism in this city and her community involvement will continue no matter how the election turns out . . . In much the same way that I'll most likely never stop being such a dumbass.

Bad news if you want a burrito or an only slightly bruised hooker: A major bridge to Northeast will be closed

The Northeast News notes that: Business owners, workers and residents of Historic Northeast and the Northeast Industrial Area are concerned about getting virtually no notice that a major connector (the little known Suburban Junction Bridge) could be shut down in just a few weeks.

More Bucks for Buck. But will anybody visit?

The history of the Negro Leagues continues with the hope that The Buck O'Neil Education and Research Center will finally draw a crowd to the mostly abandoned Eastside corridor. The projected cost is $15 million. They've raised about $2 million, bolstered by a $100,000 donation from Kansas City's Sprint Corp. yesterday, the anniversary of the Negro Leagues' founding in 1920.

C'mon and make a visit, the violence isn't very bad if you're not Black

Kansas City is ranked #5 on the Top 10 U.S. Places for Value Vacations

Political bloggers are bitches

Just when I forgot how much I don't like liberals the folks at Fired Up Missouri are continuing to remind me . . . I understand that Becky Nace is a Republican, I understand that she has taken donations from Italians and other big money Republicans from across the state and this has worked the Fired Up folks into a tizzy. Fine.

But this "gotcha" moment of what appears to be Nace in front of a strip club just comes off weak and makes it clear that these bloggers don't know anything about Kansas City.

First of all, to see any politician play the role of pedestrian is a pleasant surprise and if Nace was a bad as they say she is, a photo of her in a limo or indulging in some other typical City Council luxury would have been more offensive.

Then there's an attempt to play off this town as sleazy and tie Nace into that notion. Fine but I know the Strip Club where she's supposedly standing in front of (on Grand I believe) and it's way too nice and resides near two other decent establishments to really be considered dirty. You want sleazy? Erotic City (formerly operated by KCMO) and their strippers with track marks is the place to go if that's your bag, baby.

And the fact that these whinny Democrats who are too wimpy to just come out and type that Nace is a money grubbing stripper in front of a strip club but would rather just imply it with a grainy photo pisses me off because I feel it's necessary to point out that these guys are simply another brand of outsiders trying desperately to influence the locals to benefit their penis measuring contest in Jeff City. Put simply, these folks are cut from exactly the same cloth as Jeff Roe and they don't have a stake in this town either. Just as big money from Johnson County jerks wants to turn this town into a luxury hideaway, the Jeff City Democrat machine only sees Kansas City as one of their strongholds to make sure that nothing much gets accomplished across this state without them wetting their beaks.

I live here, within walking distance of that high dollar club as a matter of fact and what should really offend everyone about Nace is not that she had the temerity to walk on a downtown city street (a far too uncommon sight from white broad) but that she is a woman and formerly depicted herself as vaguely Hispanic but now has little recollection of those days.

Discord among the Ice Queens

Becky Nace points out bad snow removal while Country Club Kay continues to stick to the line that everything is okay as long as she has here credit cards.

KC firm profits from pain in the ass pedestrians

360 Architecture lands a gig to build a diagonal bridge for Des Moines skywalk.

I've always assumed anybody you come in contact with when your car breaks down is a crook

Local Tow Truck Drivers Accused Of Stealing Cars

Hendricks hijacks a cliché TKC used almost a week ago

It's nice to see a Star columnist not only showing me some "love" today but also revealing the fact that I could do/have done his job (no homo) for him. In a long winded column about Arrowhead naming rights, Mike Hendricks prattles on until he arrives at the conclusion that he'll just call it what he wants . . . His pick: "That place where our hopes and dreams go to die" whereas I called it the "home of inevitable late season collapse" in a much more succinct and current post. It wasn't exactly an original thought but I had it published days earlier and it kind of breaks my heart this Valentine's Day (not really) that Hendricks calls himself a columnist but probably doesn't admit to being a TKC fan.

Glover is glum but he's got a great rep

The Star profiles one of the few people on the City Council that doesn't make my skin crawl, probably because he makes me want to fall asleep.

For the Love of money

For the record, I LOVE the Buzz blog but I'm wondering if The Star will tell us how a blog with a readership of less than 5k can make a profit with subscriptions. The world can only handle so many newsletters and most of them devolve into country club conversation as the entire blogging model is based on sharing and the fact that information WANTS TO BE FREE.

Update: Oops they moved as part for their money making scheme, just in case you didn't know already.

Maybe it's CRAZY to think that you can point a gun at the KCPD and live . . . Possibly.

Relatives Seek Answers In Police Shooting

"Apology not accepted, add me to the broken hearts you've collected"

Double bonus points if you remember Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam as the story of a local thief who called in order to apologize after assaulting a robbery victim reminds me that I don't really want to speak to any of my ex-girlfriends seeing as how they probably want to call the cops on me as well. Note: Being in love means never having to return nude photos or "misplaced" underwear.

Local "strippers" lose dignity without bad music, overpriced drinks and mood lighting

Two men walked in to the King Super Store at 5910 N.W. Prairie View Road. Surveillance video showed that the men force a clerk and four customers into a back room and made them give up their wallets and their clothes.

On Valentine's Day remember never to trust your spouse

They say that all is fair in love and war which really means that women don't ever need to feel guilty about screwing somebody over completely, especially given that local courts could possibly make a dude pay for kids that aren't his based only on the fact that he was married to a tramp when they were born (and how would you ever really know that until it's too late?) and while I don't want to kill the romance for the day the prospect of making out a check to another guy's kid for the next 18 years is more than enough to make everyone realize that the whole "love" thing was probably just invented by local company Hallmark so that you might temporarily forget that flowers, candy and kind words are not, in fact, cheaper than prostitutes -- especially when you factor in lawyers. On the other hand, trips to the clinic after time spent with skanks aren't exactly a picnic either (I've heard) therefore, as always, I'd advise you to simply get a grip (gently, ew) and realize that you've got to love yourself before you can love anybody else . . . But come to think of it, after "loving myself" I rarely care about dating anymore and all I really want is a sandwich.

Happy Valentine's Day bitches.

When it gets warm, they'll be playing with their balls in Southmoreland Park

I have no idea what Pétanque involves but it's yet another strange act they'll be up to when the weather turns warmer in Kansas City Parks. Wear a rubber, dudes!

When we all inevitably freeze to death

At least a few folks are having fun in this weather, I'm guessing that stories of local snowmobile accidents will soon become commonplace as Global warming Climate Change becomes a reality and the world comes to and end we're forced to adapt. Eh, or maybe bad weather will only cancel a few meetings on the subject and the apocalypse will have to be rescheduled. Either way, I'm getting tired of the cold and the fact that even local weather people seem somewhat subdued means that we're all longing for tornado season!!!

However, I'm not completely blowing off the possibility that climate change can kill us all. Certainly, changing weather has wrecked other societies as well but mostly because they didn't like brown people . . . Certainly, that's not that case in this day and age. Ugh.

Medieval Norse settlers in Greenland were near some the best fishing areas in the world. Their neighbors, the Inuit, became some of the best fishermen. Yet the Greenlanders ultimately had to abandon their settlements or starve.

As the climate grew cooler and their non-native crops failed, it became impossible for them to feed themselves or their animals. Yet seeing themselves as advanced Europeans, they refused to believe that they could learn anything from the "skraelings," an Old Norse word meaning "wretches," who lived near them.

The fatal result was that they made no use of an obvious and abundant protein source. "Every archeologist who comes to excavate in Greenland refuses initially to believe the incredible claim that the Greenland Norse didn't eat fish."

Yep, we've seen it time and again . . . People have to change if they want to survive and to get past this current cold spell I'm going to take a page out of the book of nearly every broad I've met. So starting now I'm going to cry, whine, stomp my feet and then bury my head under the covers until this cold spell finally relents.

Political trends are always evolving, crackpot pseudo science not so much

TFK shares his thoughts: "Kansas Science standards were officially revised. There was little doubt this would happen, but it's nice to see the democratic system at work."