Animal Porn at The KC Zoo

I think that an animal porn exhibit at this town's favorite money pit deserves more than just a passing mention on this blog. The event actually sounds like a decent attraction which is a change for the Zoo and KC.

Join Ron Magill of the Miami, Florida, Metrozoo as he explores some of the strange and elaborate practices of animal mating. Ron Magill has been studying animal sex for more than a quarter of a century, and has presented his humorous and entertaining program at numerous zoos around the country.

Those attending go away with an enlightened look at both animal and human behavior. For example, Ron says humans are the only species with sex hang-ups, most often regarding size, frequency and duration. Ron explores these and many other related topics during his one-hour presentation.

Yep, this is damn educational stuff and I think it's the perfect place for me to bring a date. Not only because animal porn is "enlightening" and what not but also because it'll give a potential mate a good look at what getting down with Tony is really like . . . And don't think I'm gonna make a nasty reference to a rhino dong or something of the sort . . . I was thinking mainly of the smell, the matted hair, the fact that nobody knows if animal sex is consensual and the similar amount of tonnage involved make it a worthy comparison but I doubt that the study will reveal that 30 sec. Milf video clips are what drives mating in the animal kingdom and while I've been told I masturbate as much as a chimpanzee . . . I've seen them smoke but never stay brand loyal to condoms . . . So there goes my analogy.

And no, I wasn't going to make a feline AIDS joke about all of the sick lions in the KC Zoo because clearly God has punished them enough.