Happy New Year Kansas City

This is the 24th year they're running Holiday Cab the number to call is 816-276-7899. The first available cab will be sent to the bar or restaurant to provide a ride. Rides will only be provided from public places, such as restaurants and bars, and the driver will only take the person home, not to another bar or restaurant.

The ride is free for the first $25 worth of fare, or about 16 miles.

Right now it's drizzling and wet and they say it's gonna get cold so wear a good rain coat and a condom as well . . . Just to be safer.

I'm thankful that I was able to write the blog this year and I'm even more grateful that you read it. KC is the best town in the world and this blog is proof that so many people can/can't take a joke around these parts . . .



Evidence of this fact can be seen lately on local cable TV where Kathryn Shields is running a frightening NYE message for mayor that nearly makes me want to move . . . Nevertheless, this is my favorite place in the world because it's home to nearly all of the people that I love, hate or would like to see hit in the face with a banana cream pie.

The TKC End of Year review

Here are just a few insights I'd like to share before you are completely inundated with these end of year lists that substitute for content:

My first insight regarding 2006.

Steve Penn is the worst columnist in Kansas City

On January 17 of this year he noted that the murder rate was down and continued to chime the good news until the Spring. Sadly, the number of homicides is now only modestly lower than it was last year and that's not counting some of the kick ass NYE celebrations that are now only in the planning stages.

Larry Johnson is not happy in Kansas City

Sadly, the guy is much better at complaining than blocking and all signs, including his stupid hand gestures after inconsequential touchdowns point to the fact that he seems to be floundering in this town and he wants a new home team.

Kathryn Shields is an embarrassment to anyone involved in KC politics.

One scandal after the next this year for the woman who compared herself to MLK as most people who bother to read the news in this KC wouldn't really mind if she was fed to the rancor.

The Chiefs are too old to play football

One of these days Will Shields will retire and that will spell a 6-10 season for our JoCo football team. Trent Green is simply too old, broken down and frightened to play the game and the defense is just as decrepit as it has been for the past 2 years.

Women journalists are worthless

A few exceptions? Probably, but for the most part women in media make prostitutes seem honest by comparison or at least more forthright about what they are really getting paid to do.

Light Rail is a lame idea

A bad plan is worse than no plan at all. With no money and unfeasible demands for the scope of the project the next couple of years will see fans of the idea whine about how it isn't happening until they move on to their next pet cause . . . Remember, these are pretty much the same people who said that the new bus lines would save Kansas City but happily forgot about all the money that would be taken away from their beloved bus system so that they could play with toy trains.

Crime and the murder rate should be the most important issue for the local media next year

Because it was "only" Black people dying on the Eastside and because the numbers weren't record setting THE LOCAL MEDIA FAILED to address or even ask questions about the near Baghdad like living situation on the Eastside for young, Black men. Sure, it's easy to ignore from the comfort of Johnson County but the truth is that every part of this city is connected and as crime continues to move to SouthKC . . . NO REAL INITIATIVE from City Hall has been given in order to stop the violence. It's clear this problem isn't just going to go away. As I noted previously, Steve Penn and nearly every professional Black media person in KC simply let this issue pass without pursing any critical questions. But real estate speculation, risky downtown development schemes that hope to attract a crowd are ALL DEPENDENT ON SECURITY . . . It's a basic need and something that very few politicians have dared to discuss. But make no mistake, construction or redeveloping Downtown or whatever are DOOMED if the issue of the murder rate continues to get little consideration.

Call in the militant wing of the Salvation Army

The Kansas City chapter of the Salvation Army is about $1.4 million short of the holiday fundraising goal.

Could the fact that the Salvation Army is in dire straights (not the band) this time of year have anything due to do with the Healthcare Foundation denying fundraising requests because the charitable organization refuses to ring it's bell for the ghey community?

Who knows but I guess it's important to note that we live in a town where a great many people believe that the common good has more to do with ensuring that ghey folks get first class treatment rather supporting a group that helps the truly needy.

He always had wood

Herman Sutherland, lumber company executive, longtime civic leader and philanthropist, died early Thursday at his home in Mission Hills, family members said.

Couldn't care less about the contractors

Support the Troops . . . Of course, without question (at least as far as everybody at the rank of Captain and under is concerned) but try as I might I can't muster any sympathy for the contractors, especially for the security contractors, even if they are from KC, even if they are being held hostage and even if they left a heartbreaking message that's on par with some of my drunk dials as far as frightened and scared displays go.

Sorry, but even if these guys are former military . . . They aren't there for patriotism in the capacity of getting paid big bucks to protect Halliburton and KBR property.

While I hope everything works out for the dude, it's not exactly the human interest story that some of the local TV stations were playing it up to be last night. In fact, I think I feel more sympathy for mall security guards who actually have it pretty tough considering their salary.

Survey says why women can't be trusted

WOMEN are far more unfaithful than men, a survey reveals.

Forty per cent of females cheat on lovers, compared with 34 per cent of males.

It's Huge

The author behind Local blog Pomegranate Pretty pens one of those great big posts that has always been a guilty pleasure of mine. She's a great writer and the descriptive narrative of her life is a must read. No doubt you'll probably be captivated by even the most mundane details of what Pom has been up to . . . Check it.

Blind Item: Big Mouth Bares Her Teeth

If you read this blog regularly, you know who I'm talking about, if not then you can have fun guessing. Here's the (unimportant) question of the day:

Which local politician is calling up local Latino and community newspapers asking if I write for them and in the same breath mentioning buying ads AND THEN mentioning how offensive and unprofessional she finds TKC?

Funny thing is, this aspiring politico has worked in the Hispanic community and should know how much we all love gossip so word got back to me within a day of these vaguely threatening phone calls.

And it hasn't affected my freelance work one bit considering that I haven't been doing much because I'm busy with other (better paying) projects.

Now, if this woman (Why God why is it always a woman who gives me problems?) . . . Anyway, if this woman finds a way to turn Ebay and online poker against me then I'm really screwed but for the moment she is simply doing a great job of making herself look like a joke for taking a two bit blogger way more seriously than she should.

Time is past due for Kansas City to take out the trash

Trash and recycling collection will be delayed next week by one day because of the New Year's Day holiday and here is some info for getting rid of your X-mas tree . . . That's cool. Actually, I was referring to incumbents on the City Council.

"Because when we want to talk about amoral and/or incompetent assholes, we go all out, baby!"

This blogger does a better job than any of the local media in explaining all of the recent controversy surrounding Phill Kline.

Holiday Aftermath: Mom snitches on Son who got grandpa

Tough choice for a local mom who obviously doesn't listen to much cRap music.

Aiming at the Gas Meter to cause an explosion? That's cold.

Gun toting thugs in KC seem to be getting more inventive. KCTV5 reports: "Someone shot up the house at 52nd and Agnes and seemed to be aiming at the gas meter. The homeowner believes the shooters were tryinig to cause an explosion."

Joe Lauria predicts "snew"

All media people in Kansas City hate each other, they hate each other probably more than the general public hates them . . . This, I think it their only redeeming quality.

A recent post on the Gateway City Message Board points out how two local radio personalties who were ripping on one of their colleagues because he had a cold or an accent or probably just because they could.

Boy did Shannon and Parks take Joe Lauria apart on yesterday's show. It was funny. They kept (rightfully so) mocking him for predicting "snew." Not snow but "snew." Over and over again. I took it those guys don't like Lauria too much but I'll have to admit. Take an Ambien and wash it down with NyQuil and you got Joe Lauria.

Thing is, I never understood the (mostly covert) animosity among reporters until I realized that they were all fighting over the same bus ticket out of town.

"One of the many problems Michael Bushnell faces is he has competing interests."

While most of you may not like this blogger, he raises some very interesting questions about the role media plays in redevelopment. This blogger contents that the publisher of the Northeast News is shilling for developers nearly as much as The Star.

Sorry, the thing still isn't going to make any money

Liberty Memorial is breaking attendance records with the opening of the acclaimed National World War I Museum. But supporting itself is a long way off (meaning never).

Condescending KC Star

Newsflash: Not all African-American victims of violent crime are simply getting what they deserve according to The Star.

Whew, glad we settled that one.

Additionally, The Star highlights the following passage and tries to explain why their bias is showing . . .'This is not a gangster' One victim is called "a family man who just went out with a friend." Witnesses are urged to speak up.

Same old song, pro sports fails to benefit KC

Here is yet another example of how Pro Sports basically gives nothing back to this town with the help of politicos . . .

"More than a decade ago, the legislature enacted a law calling for half of the income taxes paid by out-of-state athletes and entertainers who worked in Missouri to be put in the newly established fund. According to the Symphony's lawsuit, the legislature has allocated only a fraction of the money called for under the statute. In 2003, 2004 and 2005, it says, it allocated nothing. The Kansas City Symphony seeks to force the legislature to come up with the funding, which it says is mandatory, not discretionary. As one of the biggest arts organizations in the state, the Symphony stands to be a major beneficiary of the fund."

Thing is, the Symphony is something that enriches this community and is something more than just a commercial beer fest . . . Yet this town's culture or the institutions which define KC mean very little to politicians all across this state who are too busy chasing the pandering to any and everything having to do with pro sports with little or no payoff for the community at large.

New Brews from Boulevard

Honestly, this is best news I've read all week:

Thanks to a major company overhaul. In August, the Boulevard Brewery opened a $25 million expansion at 25th Street and Southwest Boulevard. The new brewery allowed the company to increase production from 120,000 barrels a year to 700,000.

The rest of the article goes on about some fruity ass beers that the brewery will also work on but honestly, they can do whatever they want as long as the supply of Boulevard Wheat is assured.

And I admit, I once wrote it off as a hipster beer until I realized how good it was BUT NOW I realize that nearly all my fantasies regarding Heaven (that don't involve NSFW fantasies about group sex with the Playboy's Next Door broads) somehow relate to having a swimming pool of Boulevard Wheat, an inner tube and a straw.

Lawrence wondering how to control college kids without the help of their parents purse strings. Good luck.

Lawrence Mulls Ways To Quell Bar Violence

I did not know that Country Club Kay was "planning" to destroy KC Neighborhoods and create mountains of debt for this town

The American Planning Association selected Kansas City Mayor Kay Barnes to receive the 2007 National Planning Leadership Award for a Planning Advocate.

In other news, I thought only real estate agents won awards for advocating for Loft and Condo dwellers.

Scientists want to employ KC citizens, even if they aren't a fetus!!

Local life sciences industry is hiring

Show me harebrained projects and lots of potholes

Missouri sets records for transportation projects

Happy Chrismakkah!!!

Cute looking pics from Pensive Girl. I'd post my Kwanzaa photos but it's basically just me sitting alone in a four cornered room eating a wing dinner and looking confused.

Driving South on Burlington

Picture perfect pics from pomegranate.

TIF times Twenty

Candidate for City Council Mark Forsythe (4th in-district) reacts to the latest TIF travesty as featured in a thoughtful post by BlogKC. Sadly, this kind of stuff is only big news to the 2 or 3 dozen people who follow City politics closely but even the casual media watcher can see that this Council has gone too far in handing out tax exemptions and Bonnie Sue "Corporate Tax Cut" Cooper desperately needs to realize that the X-mas season is over and her insane spirit of giving is mostly wasted on the corporate interests hounding City Hall for more welfare.

Internet fame is as fickle as a motherfucker

The folks at KC Proper advise their featured performers on how to behave once the show has catapulted them to net divas. Personally, I think there's far too little emphasis placed on sexual favors. However, all TKC asks of you (or any broad who isn't a fattie) is nude photos.

"Yes, God is Black"

Artist and blogger Parrish Baker posts an amazing panel on his blog that tracks various spots in the Kansas City area which have provided him with inspiration. It's the kind of insight into a local artist that you won't find anywhere else but on the Internet. Take a look, great stuff.

"SCIENCE VS. PHILOSOPHY VS. GOD"

Great blog post title about a quote under discussion at Heretical Ideas.

If things seem kind of slow around here

I know, I hate blogger excuses as well but Tony gotta make money to eat Chinese food as well. Lots of stuff in the works as some of it might actually make this place a little nicer to visit. Stay tuned, or not . . . Really, this is just a reminder to myself about a couple of features for TKC that I'm working on . . .

The Best of JDouble P

One of my favorite local bloggers posts a pretty gully "best of" list at Patchchord.

The only thing you should reveal to your girlfriend during an argument is that you've always thought she was a whore

Don't ever think you can trust a woman with anything. There are plenty of examples of this but none which clearly illustrate the vindictiveness of women better than the story of a local dude who robbed a Subway, told his girlfriend about it during an argument and was subsequently turned in by the treacherous broad.

David B. Hudson, 45, was picked up after his 36-year-old girlfriend called police to report that in the midst of an argument Hudson told her he had robbed the Subway at 3550 E. Truman Road.

The robbery was recorded on surveillance video, and detectives determined that Hudson matched the physical characteristics of the robber, according to court documents.

Honestly, this reads like a typical woman from Kansas City who isn't just happy to bite the hand who feeds her but also wants it tied up in the legal system and imprisoned.

Alonzo Gets Over on American Gangster

Sprint is the second major sponsor to see the light and end their sponsorship of American Gangster thanks to the work of Alonzo Washington. Here's the magnitude of this, here is the headline I would write . . . Popular Myspace Blogger Costs Cable Company Hundreds of Thousands of Dollars.

Sure, Alonzo Washington isn't just a blogger and he's worked for many years in and around KC in order to advocate for the Black Community but the fact remains that in terms of this issue . . . He started his initiative against the stupid BET show with something as simple as a blog post.

Local activist Alonzo Washington has a big problem with BET’s “American Gangster” series, setting his sights on those companies that have advertised on the show, including Verizon and Sprint.

And Washington has been successful, in a way. Both wireless companies say they have declined any further participation in the series, which Washington says glorifies a culture of violence in the African-American community.

What's more, for the most part Washington's efforts are merely what he chooses to do with his spare time . . . Stories like these are one of many reasons why I'm excited about blogs and why I think this type of media has the unprecedented potential to level the playing field between the Mainstream media and the man on the street.

Beth Gottstein and her Iowa plates

I wonder if my favorite cocktail candidate, Beth Gottstein will finally bother to drive around a car with KC plates by the time the primary comes around? The fact that Gottstien is VERY RECENTLY from out of state really isn't that big of a deal given that so many political opportunists pick KC as their starting point but it might be a good idea for her to finally settle down (in many ways) and make with the local plates if she wants to represent KC.

Additionally, thanks to the commenter who left me the info on a recent blog post. After asking around, I found that it was true and one of those priceless petty facts that our JoCo media often fail to report. Anyway, for the moment or until very recently Gottstein had not really settled on KC from the appearance of her shiny red car.

Democracy is not really working in Northeast KC

All fight you can probably blame this one on the influx of immigrants as well but I couldn't really make a choice between a nice place to eat dog Korean food or high voter turnout but regardless it seems that nobody in Northeast cares about voting. A recent title by the Northeast News proclaims that Northeast voters are voting less.

Here's the damage:

Less than a third of its registered voters came to the polls or sent in an absentee ballot in the most recent general election.

Out of 12,674 voters from the 40th Missouri representative district area, only 3,966 of them cast ballots November 7, 2006 – a turnout of 31.29 percent.

In the City of Kansas City overall, the turnout was 42.43 percent.

And again, I have to wonder about the supreme arrogance of the people behind the Iraq war given the fact that, clearly, Democracy barely works here . . . Think I'm being hyperbolic? Nope, there is no other way to explain the career of Kathryn Shields.

If cops can't save on construction costs, then how are they going to save the city?

The Kansas City police academy under construction in the Northland has its problems, including cost overruns of more than $8 million and millions more for unplanned road costs.

Strange, it seems like $8 million over-budget is some kind of crime.

Another reason why the landlady shouldn't believe you were looking for a job

The Kansas City area had an estimated 40,046 job vacancies in May, according to a survey conducted by the University of Missouri-St. Louis Public Policy Research Center.

Isn't it time you adopted a Mexican?

For something other than lawncare or maid service, of course.

New program helps refugees bridge cultural divides

A church-based program is taking hold in the Kansas City area.

The program, called Haven, is run by Catholic Charities and links church groups with refugee families from all religious faiths. Participating churches make a one-year commitment to guiding the newcomers through what is often the most difficult part of their journey — adjusting to life in the United States.

A nice story indeed, in the fast food world they call this effort "The Management trainee program."

Somali immigrants still hungry in KC

I know that folks have a tendency to look down on violent criminals and justifiably so but a recent report which actually went to the time and trouble to note the motivations behind a metro crime puts things in perspective . . . For me at least.

First the news portion of the story: Northland Robbery $45,000 taken Friday has been recovered: Two Somali men charged in bank heist

But here's the most interesting detail: 'Mohamed has not recently had enough money to even eat,' FBI Agent Michael G. Mrachek wrote in his statement.

Gallagher Deux

Apparently, people in Branson don't like Gallagher . . . Which still puts them about 20 years behind the rest of the nation.

Gallagher was to perform at the Moe Bandy Theatre from June 16 through Sept. 4, but his shows were canceled after a July 22 performance in which theater employee Marcy Kowalski alleged that Gallagher used profanity and bruised her arm when he pushed her back into her front-row seat.

Kowalski, one of about 40 people attending the July 22 show, filed a complaint with the Branson Police Department three days later, but it was dropped after she settled with Gallagher for an undisclosed sum.

Now that I think of it, maybe using the sledge-o-matic on people in Branson was some kind of comeback effort. I know that would gain my interest and given a chance that kind of show actually might provide some decent entertainment or at least do the world a great service by removing the folks who look to that the rural areas of this state for their entertainment.

Town Topics: Your daily roundup of shocking displays

Stabbed Baby Dies: A three-week-old infant who police said was stabbed by a mentally disturbed relative last weekend has died.

The early bird gets parole: Repeat offenders in Missouri to get chances for earlier paroles.

It's okay to be shocked about all of the asshattery going on at The County Courthouse but being stunned is completely unacceptable.

Sad: SouthSide Senior found Dead

Standoff solved

Nightclub shooting makes for even more depressing last call for 2 at prospect nightclub.

Eastern Jackson County is "on the cusp of a renaissance" . . . I know I see racism everywhere but is this a nice way of saying that all the Black people are moving out and the neighborhood is out of the "Dark Ages?" I know, it's a stretch but nothing is out of the question as far as Star headline writers are concerned.

Everything is okay as long as all crime stays in the womb or has to do with conception . . . JoCo folks soon to have a prosecutor who (like me) doesn't really care much about what's happening any other place than a woman's vagina. Today's embarrassment for Kansas Republicans: Attorney General Phill Kline will go before a judge today seeking the reinstatement of criminal charges against Wichita abortion doctor George Tiller.

Noland Road littered with frustration: When did they start calling mullets "frustration?"

Coach Herm's new column will guarantee even more sources for flimsy explanations regarding The Chief's play

Celebrate Kwanzaa with slightly less vigor than Madonna

Certainly, if you have the means, I don't want to dissuade you from adopting an African kid given the fact that the Chinese are tired of Americans stealing their babies.

However, not all of us can deal with that level of commitment. Therefore it's important to know that this year's Kwanzaa celebration is already underway and a week of events have been scheduled at The Gem Theater in order to honor African culture.

Part of the celebration is explaining Kwanzaa for the 1 millionth time given that there are maybe 7 people in this country who understand it. And yes, two of them are white and the rest are Asian hip-hop reporters.

Blogger Backtalk: Commentary, comments and crazies

Getting linked by TKC might send some hate mail your way!!!!! This my personal favorite and vote for angry blog comment of the day: "I'm glad the Internet exists so that idiots can post their idiot teen-angst rants, and be linked to by cockwads like Tony. Hooray for America!"

More praise for the man behind Posthuman Blues: "One of the best examples of the "new" sort of thinking on anomalies that is the hallmark of good fortean, nay skeptical writing. Tonnies drops all predetermined opinions about Mars, and asks us to do the same."

Is there a cure for a Petroleum hangover? Probably not, and here's some more bad news: "We're addicted to oil, and withdrawals are going to suck."

My vote for best Awesome bloggy family

I'm so sorry but I love to read how your X-mas sucked: "Christmas came and went like a small, localized natural disaster."

TKC's local model of the day

Local model Tara has a ton of friends on Myspace and some AMAZING photos. She's already starting her campaign to be one of Maxim Magazine's hometown hotties next year (which I think should be the goal of every woman) . . . So, for posting some great photos of herself and generally just for being more attractive than most of the population . . . I think you owe it to her give her your vote.

Dare to be stupid

I don't care how many reports of Turkey Fryer Fires the media wants to serve up during the holidays. I want one of these things if only because the prospect of being burnt alive during the holidays isn't that bad if it means I can feed the whole family with a dead bird on a stick.

Eyebrows are overrated.

The Whorehouse that never was in Westport

Now here's an example of an unrealized dream of development in Kansas City that I think might have really made life interesting in this city. An amazing post by Death's Door imagines what life might have been like if skanks hadn't been completely confined to America's Pub and were allowed to be a little bit more . . . "enterprising" is what I'm calling it. Additionally, the following passage makes me miss the long gone era when this city actually had some night life worth mentioning and nearby neighbors might have even frequented a local pub rather than just complaining.

Remember, back then Westport was nothing like it was now. You had Kelly's, Blayney's, Buzzard Beach and a few other small bars and restaurants. You still had homes and apartments scattered throughout the area, and in the center of all this was a huge fucking bread factory.

The Westport I remember as a kid had fewer JoCo folks and a lot more drunken locals. While the quality of skanks (as much as I can remember) may not have been what it is now . . . Somehow they seemed more friendly.

Blogger Backlash

I link to a bunch of stuff I read in the local blogosphere . . . It's what I do. As much as I feel like ignoring a bunch of anti-Mexican stuff from The Hip Critic (a recent and much appreciated commenter on this blog) I feel like his recent string of posts might be a good example of somebody losing their patience with Mexicans OR maybe an opportunity for local blog readers to watch a meltdown in real time.

Either way, it's entertaining.

First, take a look at a recent set of questions to future City Hall candidates and Mayoral prospects. Actually, I admire the focus of this post. Sure, Kansas City has ongoing problems with crime, potholes, debt, sewers, storm drains and some insane light rail scheme but the most important thing is to make sure that there aren't too many Mexicans in town. However, ya gotta look at the dude's perspective; he's from Northeast where the Mexicans have not only brought the most amazing burritos on the planet, small businesses and a new tax base (don't forget sales and property) but also their own brand of crime given the fact that I've yet to meet a Mexican who understands that prostitution is illegal . . . Life is give and take.

Then one of my favorite local bloggers (because I'm racist) gets a rather nasty message from the guy.

Of course, I wouldn't dare cry foul. I've written enough nasty things on this blog to realize that everyone and everything is fair game as far as blogging and politics goes . . . I only have one request . . . Make it funny. Far too little alliteration or (attempts at) racial humor in these posts . . . In fact, in most of the racist and misogynist posts I concoct (no homo) I make sure to have no less then three (bad) jokes. While this should prove to you that people of Latino decent work harder (even at murder) it should also serve as inspiration to make your racist blog posts better!!!

Bullets only slightly more deadly than the fries

A man shot at a KCK McDonald's died from his injuries yesterday. And this is as good of a time as any to remind you that not only will fast food kill you but also it will kill you sooner than you think.

Kid knew the meaning of X-mas but not the value of money

This stale, holiday left over story reports: An 11-year-old boy who found hundreds of dollars in cash and gave it back does not want a reward because he feels it was the right thing to do.

"Northland has a big stake in light rail"

Clearly, they have to figure out exactly how far to step back in line as the concerns of their burgeoning community once again take a backseat to one of Kansas City's vanity projects.