Friday, June 30, 2006

Fight for your right to party



I want to hear more about the struggle of this local cop for all of the same reason that cops allow so many people to embarrass themselves for a few minutes right before they are arrested.
A crack pipe and illegal drugs were allegedly found in his (the officer's) home (along with) concerns that he had a relationship with a criminal. A decision from the police board is expected in two weeks.
Also, I'd like to see what kind of arguments the officer makes in his defense, seeing as how they didn't really work for 7th Heaven either.

"Senator Talent. He's as good as it gets for corporate agriculture."



Sometimes I get too upset and carried away with my own dumb ideas. Whenever I get down about the prospect of all of the Mexicans being shipped away and the chance that I might also get thrown on the train as well, I only have to remember that this really is a wonderful country and our political process ensures that nothing much ever really gets accomplished.

So why did Freedom, Inc. endorse Wheeler?



I have no idea. Not a clue. The KC Buzz blog is turning into a kind of open ended question but I'm always surprised how many people in this town pretend not to know how politics really works.

Also, having a little bit of experience with political clubs I can tell you that they are vastly overrated in getting out the vote and they are mainly paper tigers. There is really only one recent candidate who has adopted a good net strategy but I'm sure that some day a local candidate achieve great success by turning to the Internet (like Howard Dean only not as crazy) in order to directly communicate with the voting public rather than relying on the media or these dinosaur organizations that are entrenched in old school, corrupt politics as usual.

If you've got a radio nearby anytime soon you can listen to Mike Sanders respond on Jerry Agar's show at around 4.

Corwin is my new hero



So I was at the public hearing on Immigration yesterday at Penn Valley held by Missouri House of Representatives' Special Committee on Immigration Reform.

I can't write too much about the event because I'm supposed to do a story for Dos Mundos about it which will be published two weeks from now . . . That's print media for you.

What I will note is this: With maybe one exception nearly all of the members of the panel uniformly hate Mexicans and can be trusted to do nothing but make life harder for the every Latino that lives in the state of Missouri.

I now have a lot more respect for Chief Corwin and his efforts after he explained in great detail the work of the Westside CAN center and its benefit in reducing crime in the area. He noted that since the establishment of the place, violent crime has dropped in my neighborhood by more than 50%.

It all fell on deaf ears.

"Aren't we really just talking about sacrificing law for order?" One of the dumbass politicians questioned.

I don't really care because in the end I have to live with whatever decision these people make but it was revealing to hear Corwin tell stories of his early days on the force and how strong arm tactics just didn't work in curbing the so-called immigrant problem.

"Arresting people is the easiest solution. It's a no brainer." Corwin said "And it works, it cleans up the problem . . . For about 7 days."

The panel members were obviously unmoved and the only glimpse of kindness they would show throughout the day was their adoration of Kris Kobach as they lovingly hung on every syllable that came out of his mouth and scribbled down nearly everything he said.

Now I'm not gonna lie. I was seriously impressed with Kobach. The guy has a rapid fire public speaking style that not many people can contend with . . . He expertly cited numerous cases and statutes which might be applicable in the efforts of many Missouri politicos to beat the shit out of Mexican babies. I asked him a few questions later. I didn't mention this blog, only that I was writing a story for Dos Mundos. He's pretty tall but not as tall as I expected and it's kinda scary to think that somebody that smart is working diligently to get people who look like me kicked out of the country. They say that you should know your enemy and I looked into the eyes of somebody without the best interests of my community at heart and dreadfully understood that he's not only determined, eloquent and strikingly intelligent but also completely capable of achieving every anti-immigrant measure which he espouses. Whereas I consider myself somewhat of an advocate for Latinos in KC and I'm kind of a chump.

Thing is . . . Kobach isn't right about everything. He used his credentials as a prof for UMKC to get into the meeting but at every turn a great many of the UMKC officials have assured Latino community leaders that he doesn't speak for the University. He also spoke of a website in which employers could verify that status of "illegals" for employment purposes. Turns out that website specifically says that YOU CANNOT USE THE SERVICE TO SCREEN EMPLOYEES it's merely a way to validate Social Security numbers for tax purposes. If employers did use this service it would not only be a violation of the prospective employees rights but also create a situation where a nickname or misplaced letter would mean that a person (most likely a Latino) didn't get a job because of a simple clerical error which was inappropriately identified as Social Security fraud (a felony). Later on (after pretty much everyone left) Judy Ancel of the UMKC Institute for Labor Studies would remind the panel that labor laws were actually a lot more forgiving than the anti-Mexican rhetoric on every talk show nowadays.

On a final note of things that occurred to me as an alumni - UMKC official Burton Taylor showed up simply to assure the panel that no illegals were getting into this city's college on his watch. When I went to the University, I always wondered why all of my buddies wouldn't even consider going to the place . . . Now I know why. The d-bag actually had the nerve to sit there and talk about what a diverse student body UMKC hosted. He cited the fact that UMKC has 33% minority enrollment without noting that most of those people are very rich Indian, Arab or South American students who don't represent Kansas City at all. The Blacks in town mostly go to CMSU if they are smart enough to get out of our shitty KC high schools and are good at dodging bullets. Whereas most Latinos in this city don't graduate from high school, the ones that do will steal from their Grandma in order to go to Rockhurst because UMKC does nothing to entice, recruit, engage or represent them. Laughably, Taylor touted a 5% enrollment figure for Latinos in this year's Freshman class. That's not only lower than KC's current Latino population and well below national numbers but it's also hilarious because we all know that - in general - half the people who start college don't finish . . . The guy was digging deep but the fact remains that UMKC is an institution that does absolutely nothing for the local Latino community and I can say this from first hand experience as a graduate of the place and having witnessed one hollow PR gesture after the next.

Finally, my last thought is simple:

The people of rural Missouri can go fuck themselves.

Kansas City has nothing in common with these hillbillies.

I know these dumbass politicians with their simple and cruel solutions (put everybody on trains headed south) were elected by people even dumber than them.

What Corwin eluded to isn't understood by white people from inside the state, many of which are merely one or two generations removed from people who went barefoot and screwed their sister.

How do you tell who is illegal?

These people were advocating was stopping every Mexican looking person the police come in contact with and asking them for their papers. This means that if what they're talking about goes through - at first contact it's presumed that simply because I have dark hair and a goatee that I'm a suspect of a crime and should be booted out of the country.

Having the local cops act as immigration agents would sanction racial profiling against every Latino person in the state and there are quite a few of us who are, in fact, citizens.

Frankly, I'm starting to be a lot less concerned with the plight of immigrants and more with saving my own skin. The anti-immigration movement is getting so harsh in this state that efforts are underway to ensure that simply because I'm Latino I have to prove my citizenship at every turn. These kind of laws won't be applied to everyone, in the same way that white people can't stop complaining about being treated like Arabs when they have to take their shoes off at airports. Slowly but surely this podunk state is sending the signal that no brown folks are welcomed within its borders and that we're all to be treated as criminals first until we prove otherwise.

Now, I know that a lot of the things that I've written in this post are offensive, misguided and hurtful . . . I won't apologize, all I'm doing is returning the favor to the majority of you who have shown absolutely no concern for the many legal Latino citizens in this country in your vigor to seek reprisals against the so-called illegals who have done nothing but taken the low-wage employment that employers in this country have so readily offered them. How does it feel?

Tony need sleep



Actually, I'm good but I slept-in today because I was up all night trying to straighten out the bad satellite signal for the porn that I have constantly piped into my mom's basement. I just didn't want anybody to think I was slacking off from this blog too much lately.

More links and lies to come . . .

I should do it like the local news so here are some teasers:

Will your baby die in its sleep tonight? Read TKC later today!

Next on TKC . . . Something inside your house that could be killing you.

Later, Tony will tell you how everyone is getting rich but you.

Kay Barnes . . . The silent killer. Stay tuned to TKC for all the details.

Finally, later on TKC will show you a flying monkey, some broad with huge boobs and traffic on the 9's.

Anyway, I should be posting later on today if that kinda thing is your bag baby.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Riverdance returns to Kansas City

Here's what two local Irishmen have to say about the subject that could be the worst thing to happen to Irish culture since the great potato famine.

Riverdance in KC

Riverdance & Rain Reviewed

As always, TKC likes to note that this blog is a fan of the Irish not only because of a kindred spirit of alcoholism that pervades both of our cultures but also because they're all pretty much immigrants as well.

Also, we all love Kathy Ireland:



Yeah, I'll be damned if I post a photo of Riverdancing fools before I can grab a shot of my beautiful Sports Illustrated snowflake.

The Kansas City Ballet in the Park

One of the most ghey activities you can undertake in a local park (other than Capoeira or a drum circle) without needing a condom. Serious no homo for making this joke but I walk in local parks a lot and strangely I think the nasty, illicit ghey sex was less bothersome to a passerby than all of the hippies begging for attention.

Kansans in favor of killing



Here is yet another example of Kansans acting very Christian. It seems that a recent Kansas Death Penalty ruling and its possible reinstatement just might provide a boost to Attorney General Phill Kline's election hopes. It's good to know we may have our differences over the origin of man, literature as obscenity and religion in public schools but we can all support state sanctioned killing. Never mind that The Big JC was one of the more famous victims of capital punishment, killing people locked up in cages is an issue that draws a wide base of support.

Additionally, many political pundits think that Kline's political rival Johnson County District Attorney Paul Morrison might get some support from the ruling as well. I won't presume to know what the hell Jesus would do about this but I will note that garnering favor from a blood thirsty mob is far more useful than actually practicing the religion so many Kansans claim to accept.

State To Include Ads In Vehicle Registration Notices

"Hey don't forget to register your car. And did you know that Dr. Dan's boner juice will make your wife happy again?"

Prominent Judge Cordell Meeks Dies At 63



Take a look at the guy's impressive accomplishments in all the recent articles mentioning his death. Also, did you know they "they're trying to take away the black man's right to vote!" and not just confining their (read: rich white people) bitching to affirmative action.

"A Nation of Wimps"

An insightful post by the Whole Wheat Bagel makes a great point about the power of play.

"Replace the Creationists on the Board of Ed!"

Another highly evolved post from Kansas blogger Josh Rosenau. Once again, he offers evidence, supporting data and meticulous study to back up his point. Sadly, most people only need to hear that Jesus wants them to vote a certain way in order to take action.

Wi-Fi at KCI

Flying like an eagle into the future KC puts itself on par with the wireless Internet access offered by other major cities . . . Two years ago. Check out this link for more hotspots that are actually useful and don't include blonde bar skanks.

Local blogger gives this town the boot



I've always admired people who pull themselves up by the bootstraps and obviously this local blogger isn't letting an injury keep her down. With a smart handbag and good attitude she's still running all over KC and documenting her adventures. Read on.

"Me and Clay Chastain"

I couldn't have said it any better than the X-man: "Will it never end?!? Jesus H. Christ on a crutch!! Haven't we been through enough with this guy?"

KC is on acid



KC Firefighters in hazmat suits contained a 300-gallon spill of hydrochloric acid yesterday.

Actually, hydrochloric acid isn't as fun as it sounds. It probably won't cause cool flashbacks but it might lead to the realization that this town is far behind the curve in enforcing environmental regulations.

The Pitch will get you fired

Apparently, massacring unborn babies is cool but smoking pot is a big no-no for the folks at Planned Parenthood. The Pitch reports the one of the minor subjects in their story about marijuana decriminalization advocates was recently canned over the article by the same people who should know a little bit about bad choices.

Terror alert in KC

Hey, one of my favorite blogs "Happy in Bag" is this week's Net Prophet in The Pitch and that makes me happy.

Craigslist is killing me



Many thanks to a tipster who noticed that neither jail nor accusations of aggravated assault (murder maybe?) in a gruesome threeway caught on videotape can keep Richard D. Davis from looking for a little "comfort" online. That's right, (although it may be a fake) Davis is still looking for some love from the ladies as he (or someone with a twisted sense of humor like myself) recently placed this ad:
I am Human

I am human and need to hear from anyone who can be a spiritual advisor, of legal assistance or just a friend to me. Can not and will not talk about legal issues. The media made me differently then who I am and what actually happened. I appreciate it. Richard D. Davis
That's sweet and I've heard that the soft sell is much more reliable when trying to lure women with a personal ad. Also, it might be worth mentioning something about Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Viva la Distraction



Tomorrow is a somewhat big showdown day for Immigration in KC. Krazy Kris Kobach decided to show up after all to badmouth Mexican people in a predominantly Latino neighborhood. Hard to believe anybody could take him seriously as professor or as a political candidate seeing that rising taxes, continuing sprawl and increasing crime are at the center of discussion when it comes to JoCo politics while he continuously pursues Mexicans as a political scapegoat with an issue that ruffles a lot of feathers but seems to (thankfully) stir few votes from people in the Golden Ghetto. And, as always, let's not even mention the war the U.S. is losing, the sorry state of health care in this country, global warming, peak oil, Chinese toddlers making tennis shoes or any of the horrible suffering of the damn 3rd world darkies.

Out of touch doesn't even begin to describe it. Here is a 6'5 white guy who seems to be desperately afraid of all of the short, brown people in his neighborhood who serve mainly to drive costs (and wages) down, serve food and mow lawns.

Anyway, here is tomorrow's agenda that a few people have already forwarded my way:

Special Committee on Immigration Reform

Agenda for June 29, 2006

Kansas City, MO

Penn Valley Campus

10:00 -– 10:30 Gilbert Guerrero -– Guadalupe Centers

10:30 -11:00 Steve Begshaw -– Home Builders

11:00 -– 11:30 James Corwin -– Police Chief in KC

11:30 -– 12:00 Kris Kobach -– UMKC School of Law

12:00 -– 12:30 Lunch (Note from Tony: If anybody has a sense of humor at all they'll go get some burritos from one of the many nearby places staffed completely by mojados.)

12:30 -– 1:00 Judy Ancel -– UMKC/Institute for Labor Studies/Peter Coyle -– Carpenters Union (they will speak 5 minutes)

1:00 -– 1:30 Jim Stoufer -– President of UAW Local 249

1:30 -– 2:00 Duane Kelly, retired teacher/Board of Education

2:00 -– 2:30 Burton Taylor -– UMKC Director

2:30 -– 3:00 Manuel Perez/KCMO Health Department

3:00 -– 3:30 Dr. Dan Doerhoff, Eastland Superintendent

3:30 -– 4:00 Brenda Mitchelson -– LINC-Local Investment Commission

4:30 -– 5:00 Rita Valenciano, President of the Coalition of Hispanic Organizations

Bank Guard Charged In Shooting

Nobody knows why the guy opened fire but this is yet example of a costly penalty for early withdrawal.

Is this the beginning of light rail in KC without annoying ass Chastain?



The KC Biz Journal reports that Gov. Matt Blunt signed a bill Wednesday that authorizes six Missouri counties to proceed with plans for a regional transit system. The bill authorizes the creation of a commission to plan and identify beneficial regional transit programs, which could include rapid bus lines or light rail service. Makes sense, I guess even though I'll be retired by the time they break ground. Also, I don't see them mentioning anything about JoCo but that figures because those people will hop a real train to Utah before they give a dime to help this town's minorities earn a buck without a wallet busting commute.

Final thought: Strange that after all these years, Chastain was probably proven right because gas prices aren't going down, the war in Iraq is pretty much lost and the local bus lines are only useful to white hipsters on vacation. Still, the dude is annoying as all hell even if he has a point. Very much like a beautiful woman with an education or a one-armed juggler.

Party on KC



First of all, thanks to everyone who wished me a happy B-day!

I've never been a big fan of birthdays because I've known since I was about 8 that eventually they would run out.

However, I'm in a pretty great mood today. This isn't one of those miserable blogger posts where the author (usually a woman) wants you to cheer her up. I'm 32 today and I feel lucky for all of the awesome people in my life, the fact that I don't have to "submit" to a local media conglomerate in order to have my (silly) opinions about life in this town read and that fate/God/chance/superior U.S. weapons technology has served to keep the devastating and horrible tribulations that have fallen upon the vast majority of all the other darkies in rest of the world away from me . . . So far.

In terms of Kansas City, we've had so many meaningless celebrations and occasions in this town that it's hard to count. We're constantly bombarded vigils, weddings, grand openings and press conferences that it's hard to determine what's important. Certainly, politicos would have you think that a week's worth of basketball games and a paltry $15 million is enough to justify nearly $300 million worth of public spending of which none will go to local minorities or much less importantly . . . Local artists.

Still, there is a lot to truly celebrate in this town and that's not even counting the fact that term limits have kept Country Club Kay from plunging this city further into debt. Kansas City is a great place and year after year I've never regretted calling the dump my home. All joking aside, I've always wanted to consider myself a grateful person. So on this day, I'm celebrating all of you folks who are good enough to read this blog along with the breaking of a condom, somebody playing games with a pill and the cheap beer and good music which brought me into this world.

"What You'll Need to Vote August 8"

New Missouri law has taken effect in order ensure that Seniors and Mexicans can't vote. The idea isn't half bad and I guess it's good to give the people something to do while Diebold casts their ballots for them.

The Red Barn at the KC Zoo will open Thursday

Now that's gotta be worth a sizable chunk of the $30 million (and counting) that this town's favorite money pit owes the people of Kansas City.

A boozy trip down memory lane or KC club carnage

The Hurricane is just the latest beloved bar to meet an untimely demise in this city. Happy in Bag provides an excellent rundown of old KC clubs that are no more. Otherwise known as "where your parents went to get VD."

200-million dollar Bloch Building will open to the public on June 16, 2007

We're all waiting to see what the Butler Building looks like on the inside. So far, what we haven't seen has been the selling point for the new addition. As usual, the only honest commentary will come from the Internet and the few people in this town who aren't on the payroll of the muckety-mucks who will destroy you if you don't embrace their bad ideas.

"You can die of encouragement in this town"



The Kauffman Foundation is giving away $35 million to selected U.S. colleges and universities millions of dollars to encourage entrepreneurial education.

Meanwhile the only business this town really cares about is real estate speculation (read: lofts & condos) and the many desires and demands of our billionaire sports franchise owners. Sadly, those investments don't seem to be panning out. We're right in the middle of yet another disastrous Royals season and there is also ever increasing prospect that the greater fool has already purchased his last downtown loft. Still, I guess you can't blame people in this town for selling their neighborhoods and infrastructure for pipe dreams. We're the same community that once hosted Todd Blackledge after all.

"I deserve what I am getting"

An "Angel" is dispatched to whatever superstition you happen to believe in this week. A local blogger provides a great post of a crazy-ass Latino getting the kind of deportation that many of you people really had in mind.

The bridge so far

I have absolutely no f-ing clue why so many white people in this town are excited about the dumbass bridge linking Union Station and the crossroads. So many millions for a project that may get a little bit of traffic on the first Friday of every month. So glad that KC could finance yet another attraction for JoCo interlopers.

Accused Grandmother Commits Suicide

Sad story, nothing really funny about it other than the fact that my Grandmother routinely threatened to kill me during my formative years and always followed up the statement by saying that she wouldn't ever feel guilty about it.

Town Topics: Here are some links you filthy animal



Bobcat Spotted Near Community College
- Just like me, he was probably thinking about taking a few computer science courses and didn't want to spend his whole summer tearing the heads off bunnies.

Hickman Mills Reports School Break-Ins
- Probably just vandalism but who knows, maybe local illegals are that desperate to get into schools without risking deportation.

Bush To Visit Missouri
- A clear sign that Talent is in trouble. Talk about sending a wolf in to guard the hen house. As of now the only help Bush can give is to share sinking poll numbers and losing strategy.

Legislators Help Pets in Disasters
- Probably much more satisfying than helping minorities. Animals have a lot of trouble using credit cards.

MoDOT's Online Map Shows Live Work Zones Across Missouri
- See workers in their natural habitat. Spy on the state since they are probably returning the favor.

We don't take kindly to . . .



Suburban bliss is about more than keeping sexual predators out of your neck of the woods. A recent report reveals that pervs aren't the only thing they're trying to keep out of the suburbs.

Fireworks Are Not Allowed in Lenexa


Rumor has it that a few people are trying to see what they can do about getting Mexicans, poor people, gheys, minorities, gypsies and Democrats reclassified as fireworks.

Traffic tickets are nothing but robbery



Okay, I'm sure this recent case of a former member of the KCPD pleading guilty to a pay scam has nothing to do with rampant corruption or injustice or whatever but it's just another sign to me that most auto related citations are nothing more than on-the-spot taxation. That kind of public rip-off is guaranteed to tickle down to the people who have to enforce it and this isn't the first instance of a traffic cop gone bad. Anybody remember Mershon Pope? The Mexicans do.

Not only do I think that most traffic stops are simply part of a money making operation and do little to facilitate public safety but it's strange to see the local media treat Chief Corwin with kid gloves. He's no longer a rookie and a few recent cases of corruption seem to be the beginning of a pattern. Yes, the instances were prosecuted and seem to be dealt with in the best way possible but as summer violence in this town predictably mounts it's time the local media start asking some tougher questions of local leaders and Chief Corwin is as good of a place to start as any.

Getting Head in KC



Channel 9 reports that 2 men were shot in the head At 19th and Cleveland recently. Local pundits have stopped talking about murder rates and crime in KC because of an early year slump in the numbers, so I'd just like to advise everybody to stop thinking about local violence because it's bound to give you a headache.

Man, oh, man



Generally, I'm not big on the whole "act like a man" vibe because anything less than acting natural to me is more work than I think strangers are worth.

From time to time, I'll rock the pink shirt, pink bunny slippers and I listen to Barbara Streisand not because I want anything at all to do with man ass but because she has some serious pipes and anyone who can overcome that nose definitely has a few insights I'd like to hear.

Soooooooo, I've never been an advocate of the whole "macho" thing as it is interpreted by the Americans. For Latinos, Machismo is another story entirely because I've always believed it was not about poserdom but more of an excuse to engage in drunken singing, domestic abuse, picking on something smaller than you and all sorts of fun activities that need some kind of justification that doesn't rely on logic.

But the actions of men don't exist in a vacuum (unless we're talking about something entirely more disgusting). Women are bound to have opinions . . . They always do.

Recently, I was impressed with a post by a local nurse and blogger regarding her training and a few observations about squandered manhood.
In one instance, I had to stand across from this ridiculously hot guy, who was notoriously gay, and hold his hands while we just stared at each other.

He cried, and all I could think was, "What a waste."
That's harsh but it's real.

What's more, another local blogger rightfully points out the many ways in which we aren't preparing kids for life in the real world. Death's Door brilliantly observes so many ways that schools fail the teach children important things:

To me this is just another example of the pussification of America.

This all boils down to basically one question: What does it mean to be a man in this society? Fight Club was an excellent examination of this subject barring the laughable premise that white guys can fight. Both the book and the movie attempted to define the role of men in post-modern America, but the lead character was horribly cast with Brad Pitt - who signifies nothing more than the fact that the white man's burden now involves maintaining washboard abs and carrying around a ridiculous amount of brown kids in order to bang one of the hottest broads on the planet.

I've always thought that a great deal of manhood lies in overcoming fear and I'm proud to know that I no longer share the fear of every white guy in this country that the darkies are coming to steal my cheese. Still, I realize that women overcome their fears (cooking, cleaning and laziness during sex) as well. So, I won't presume to know what manhood really means yet but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with not caring about ghey posts like this one . . .

Blogger Backtalk: Local bloggers are my heroes



I saved a kid from drowning yesterday.
- Local bloggers save lives! Just yesterday I decided not to run down an old lady crossing the street.

jasonpreu.com Presents: Rap Music History #12
- Stay in school kids and let JDoubleP school ya.

There will come a great KA-BOOM...
- Toast teaches you exactly how to play with fireworks so they won't call you stumpy as an old man.

"Superman Returns is a . . ."
- Super spoilers from this super blogger. "Son of Jor-El kneel before Zod" just might be the gheyest line ever in a superhero movie other than any dialogue between Batman and Robin.

The passing of a good friend
- This local blogger has my deepest sympathy and I think this post was so touching and heartwarming that I would dare not mock his pain. Here are a few words of comfort that I think are appropriate: "Between grief and nothing I will take grief." Also . . . "Man that is born of a woman hath but a short time to live, an is full of misery. He cometh up and is cut down like a flower; he flieth as it were a shadow, and never continueth in one stay." I feel your pain.

3 Follow-up Reasons Why the World Cup Stacks Up Against the NFL.
- Great post and great reasons but the international love of soccer and the fact that Americans for the most part could care less is probably one of the reasons that terrorists hate us and why most of us could care less. God Bless Brian Urlacher.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

KCK man may have been running a prostitution ring out an apartment building for developmentally disabled people

Obviously, pimpin' ain't easy and sometimes it's downright mentally challenging.

Turnabout is (not) fair play



A puppy was found hanging from a tree in Kansas City today. Officials suspect animal cruelty and overlook the possibility of a kitty taking its revenge for years of stereotyping.

Egg Attack Hurts Motorcyclist

This seems funny at first but it's actually pretty mean. The guy's eye might be damaged because Leawood jerks think your pain is hilarious and take the "drive-by" to the ultimate suburban level. Also, I'm pretty sure that this is why the Hells Angels carried guns other than the whole drug dealing, ass kicking thing.

Winning the War on Terror Mexicans Bloggers



I bet you didn't know this but bloggers are the latest threat to our nation's security given the fact that the archives of one of the best blogs in town has been has been pretty much confiscated by The Department of Homeland Security.

I've always compared to The War on Terror to the Cold War and the Red Scare but instead of persecuting Jews and liberals this latest war attempts to frighten us all do death and offers yet another excuse to treat all brown people like criminals. Good enough, but it seems that local blogger Brad is claiming that not even the archives of bloggers who want to document mainly party pics of various hot women are safe from suspicion. And the funny thing is . . . Brad's blog seems to be just the kind of thing that the U.S. is fighting for . . . Seriously, if there is anything that makes me feel great about being a citizen of this country it's reading about Brad's various adventures and his life that's much more exciting than mine.

Certainly, I don't wanna piss off any government officials and I hope the my archives don't disappear any time soon like Jimmy Hoffa or Che fighting in the Bolivian jungle. But this story certainly provides an example that heightened security and fear have an effect on us all . . . From the shoeless masses frustrated at airport security to the lowly bloggers in Kansas City. Personally, I blame the terrorists who know that if we lose the right to blog, they've won.

Honestly, we're not talking about controversial stories that maybe shouldn't have been published which reveal the investigative methods used to capture terrorists or outing spies because their husbands disagree with White House policy. Instead, this is simply a case when a local blogger has dedicated a lot of time to masterfully documenting his life and providing this city with some amazing content.

Yeah, I'm gonna try to back up my archives to my hard drive as well right now.

Burning for you



Is there an arsonist on the loose in Kansas City? A large number of vacant houses have gone up in flames recently. Too bad most local leaders treat KC neighborhoods with no more regard than tinder if the words loft or condo aren't involved.

If you build it

Legal eagles in Kansas have created a website to provide information about a Kansas City-area home builder who faces fraud charges. In KC we call it the Yellow Pages.

The New Boss

The KC School District finally hired their Puerto Rican candidate for Superintendent. Rumor has it that all 3 of the Latino kids who haven't yet dropped out of KCMO public schools are thrilled. Let's see if the welcome wears out before the beginning of the school year.

Life and Death and Prison Bitches



I don't have anything poignant to say about the death penalty. I'll simply note that it's confusing that while death penalty is pretty much restored in Kansas in Missouri the Show-Me state is having a hard time showing two convicted killers the door to whatever fate awaits them or not.

What I will note is that the death penalty is one of those instances where being poor and white really sucks. . . It's almost as bad as the latest Toby Keith release. Almost without exception, rich white people never face justice for their actions. Instead, they get short sentences in cushy prisons or really great deals on stock options.

And don't even mention the word "closure" to me. By far, that term is one of the stupidest things I've heard since I discovered that long ago people actually trusted white guys.

People are killed everyday for mostly stupid reasons so I wouldn't say that I'm appalled by the death penalty. What astonishes me is that a conservative would readily give power over life and death to a state bureaucracy or that liberals would campaign harder to massacre a few babies rather than work against putting people down like they were puppies.

Additionally, there's just something wrong about lethal injection. It's too clean and too closely resembles the way that most hospitals kill the elderly. Firing squad seems like the only honest and humane method of execution to me and not just because I always liked that skit on "You can't do that on television."