Monday, November 14, 2016


The post-election news cycle can get depressing for newsies with no talent . . . Which is most of them . . . Not that there is anything wrong that, we can't all be as captivating as hottie Casey Batchelor

Accordingly, we notice a great many pointless alerts and broadcasts that don't really impact the lives of locals one way or another. Real talk . . . A great many of these Amber Alerts are just divorce and parental disputes gone wrong during a slow news cycle. Furthermore, emergency alerts on the phone are annoying, unnecessary and mostly a waste of time given that very few people are out and about ready to help authorities with a search. TV broadcasts and news alerts are far more effective in helping to convey the message to locals whereas law enforcement taking over mobile notifications and buzzing at full volume is just another reminder that smartphones are just another convenient way to spy on people.

And so . . . Since, for the moment, people can still customize their devices. Here's some info for disabling emergency alerts.

Android Central: Emergency alerts help

Apple Support: About emergency and AMBER alerts on your iPhone

Readers with a Windows phone can simply turn off their emergency notifications by placing their phone on the floor, crushing it under a boot, shoe or heavy object of some sort and then buying a decent phone.

Hopefully, more BREAKING/EXCLUSIVE NEWS, discussion, debate and discourse for the morning update and good stuff for the morning update . . . STAY TUNED!!!


Anonymous said...

Sooner or later, people in the U.S. won't have this option.

Notice that in Android 6.0 they added "Presidential alerts" that cannon be disabled.

That's an obvious preview of what's coming.

Anonymous said...


Medusa: You look like an angel. Walk like an angel. Talk like an angel. But I got wise. You're the devil in disguise!!!

Anonymous said...

^^^ She certainly looks like she could be devious. But I would still take her call, text or tweet.

Greedo said...

Will Trump read your e-mails just like President Obama? At least Hillary Clinton won't be deleting them.

Anonymous said...

It's probably a good thing that emergency broadcasts from the U.S. Government can't be disabled, 11:00. That pretty much means death is imminent. That's probably worth knowing.

Anonymous said...

I disabled mine a long time ago. I'm not searching for anybody's kid. If they are lost, its likely the parent didnt care enough to keep his eye on it or made poor life choices. I shouldn't be involved either way.

Anonymous said...

My latest puppy video got 43,000 reactions, 3,700 shares and 4,100 comments in less than three hours!

Anonymous said...

My kicking the shit out of you video will get twice that 5:40am. Now shut the fuck up.

Anonymous said...

Ok, that's funny.

We are missing an important question though, is this Trump's fault?

Should there be an alert on your phone that guides you to "Safe Spaces" when you are overcome with angst when seeing white people?

Anti-Trump supporters also need help with a "Schadenfreude" alert that notifies them of the excess smiling apparent in the streets of those who could "trigger" a "Safe Space" alert.

Anonymous said...

Smartphones are just updated ankle bracelets for tracking for the slightly less stupid, but still very dumb.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes i wish i coild just take the underground railroad back to where my kin is. does that still work?