TKC BREAKING AND EXCLUSIVE NEWS!!! BEFORE THE BODY IS COLD: CONSPIRACY THEORIES EMERGE AMID TOM SCHWEICH APPARENT SUICIDE AND NEW KANSAS CITY APPOINTEES TOUTED TO SERVE OUT REMAINING MISSOURI AUDITOR TERM!!!
Dammit, it seems like TKC always has to play the bad guy despite the fact that drilling down into the depths of Missouri politics isn't really my bag, baby.
To wit . . .
TONIGHT KANSAS CITY POLITICAL INSIDERS ARE ABUZZ OVER CONSPIRACY THEORIES REGARDING THE SUSPICIOUS SUICIDE OF THE MISSOURI STATE AUDITOR ALONG WITH BACK CHANNEL EFFORTS TO REPLACE THE DUDE BEFORE HIS BODY IS EVEN COLD!!!
Here are questions worth asking . . .
He was going to be accused by his own party of antisemitism.
He had a number of powerful folks against him within his own party.
He scheduled a press conference, this morning, with St. Louis Post Dispatch for 2:30PM today as well as other media outlets.
He killed himself today at noon?
Does this add up at all?
I don't want to downplay the very real tragedy here but it's worth blaming the Illuminati just because Jay-Z hasn't delivered a decent album in 3 years. Don't get on TKC for being disrespectful, his opponents compared him to Barney Fife before their crocodile tears today.
From the nation's paper of record:
New York Times: Thomas Schweich, Republican Candidate in Missouri, Is Dead at 54
Now, here's the discourse that every other "reporter" in the state is too scared to have . . .
KANSAS CITY IS NOW THE EPICENTER OF POLITICAL JOCKEYING TO REPLACE TOM SCHWEICH AND WIN AN APPOINTMENT FROM GOV. JAY!!!
As usual, here's where the speculation and FREE SPEECH starts!
Take a peek:
With No Other Powerful Lady On The Missouri Statewide Democratic Ticket: Jackson County Prosecutor Mean Jean Is The First Name On The List
Like it or not, she fits all the qualifications. She's a strong lady with a solid record, she's winning after a recent STL Junket AND she's hard-on the Catholics. As far as Democrats go . . . It just doesn't get any better. In fairness, she probably would make the best choice, even if she seems pretty content to be a prosecutor according to just about any who asks.
Against All Odds In A Senate Campaign, Rest Assured That SecState Jason Kander Is At Home Kicking Himself Right Now
Fortune doesn't always favor the bold. The Auditor job would have been PERFECT for SecState Jason Kander and he simply was too eager to rise to national prominence.
As Usual, The County Exec Wants To Be Mentioned For Every Job Under The Show-Me State Sun
The boss of Jackson County wants all conversation in KCMO to be focused on his praises and adulation. Somewhere in the archives, we're pretty sure we predicted that he would get this job given that he HATES having to run against a real opponent . . . The time might be right. Again.
Missouri Democrats Might All Have To Settle For Susan Montee
Nobody likes Susan Montee, she lost HORRIBLY in her last election attempt and she creates excitement in NO ONE. Sorry, but Suzie is the safe choice and probably something the Gov. can throw out there without much push back.
Update: Nobody wins if it's Chief of Staff Jeff Harris.
Meanwhile, just about every politico in Kansas City is trying to figure out what happened and how to benefit from the opportunity. The memorial statements are pretty useless and routine along with the political prayer vigils. What's really captivating the people of Missouri and Kansas City is what's going to happen next and Gov. Jay's big decision . . . STAY TUNED!!!
The Governor will fumble this just like he did Ferguson. You heard it here first.
ReplyDeleteTheresa Garza Ruiz should run for auditor. She really has her house in order pffffffffffffffff lol
ReplyDeleteHorrible news, but it looks like Theresa Garza Ruiz and Monica Curls have 22,000 reasons to celebrate this story.
ReplyDeleteGovernor Nixon should redeem himself and appoint a Republican that will go to the Missouri Water Department forthwith.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure Theresa Garza Ruiz wants everyone to consider her. She'll be back from spring break shortly. OMG! Popping champagne with that $22,000 expense to imaginary friends!
ReplyDeleteYour starting to sound like Glazer Tony.
ReplyDeleteThe Missouri Constitution REQUIRES that the replacement be from the same party. So, better start a new list.
ReplyDeleteAs in, for the slow witted, Jay Nixon has to pick a Repub to replace Schewiech. Cant pick any D's.
ReplyDeleteI think Hearne and Glazer must have secretly mated a long time ago and Tony was their offspring.
ReplyDeleteWell there are just so many things wrong with this that it's hard to know where to begin.
ReplyDeleteBaker: Oh, yes, a lawyer would make a good auditor. Hilarious.
Kander: Oh, yes, Sgt. Dork would also make a good auditor.
Sanders: Are you obsessed with him, or could you show us on these dolls where he touched you? I mean what the fuck is it?
Montee: Great another woman for you to masturbate over.
Meanwhile, the good thing is that they're all white. We need more white leadership in state offices. He also might have fake his own death.
- Elvis Presley is quite possibly still alive or was atleast still alive after his staged death.
- Brandon Lee is definitly not dead, he was supposedly shot in the movie, The Crow, highly suspicious claim since all guns on the scene fire either blanks or are props, loaded guns are kept away at all times, even the bullets you see in movies are generally dummies, also the claim that the movie was made for a great majority with CG doesn't hold water, the tech wasn't even good enough back in the day! we can't even make realistic 3D models like that TODAY! Brandon Lee is alive, just doesn't want his father's fame, his father died of injury from a spar correct?
- Tupac Shakur might still be alive, I dunno about B.I.G. but I think 2Pac might still be alive and kicking, hiding from the gansters that had his name on their bullets.
- Kurt Kobain, I do believe he definitly kicked the bucket but I I don't think by his own hand, his wife (Courtney Love) is supposed to be a prime suspect but has never been investigated in, she even went so far as saying: It was a suicide, leave it alone (or something in that sense), also the self inflicted gunshot wound is inconsistant with a suicide, he used a 20ga shotgun, the gun was way too long to could have shot him self in the head with, the gun was also neatly positioned against a wall, this was no suicide, it could've been a staged death, but I suspect murder...Courtney isn't a great person IMO and I wouldn't be suprised if she killed him or hired someone to do so.
I personally am not a fan of the King, I do respect him and I would not be suprised if he was still alive, i'm in no way sure though.
sorry to semi-hijack this thread and state alot of other celeb deaths
Bud Dwyer killed himself in Pennsylvania at a press conference because he was going to be indicted for bribery.
ReplyDeleteIn this city and this state, bribery is a bona fide.
The guy didn't kill himself because the milk was sour on his Cheerios that morning, there has to be a reason.
I'm going with colonel Mustard, in the study, with a candle stick. suck it, done!
ReplyDeleteSnoozer
ReplyDeleteIn other words, lets move to Kansas where none of these losers are on any political list nor can they make any list there. Missouri is a tragic state - literally.
ReplyDeleteMost politicians start with good intentions, but they are government, and government is power and self serving which is why the fire service, cant prove to be true heros and has to hide behind a government entity that will say they are a hero, when in fact most times they just provide a service to the community, equal to our trash collectors
ReplyDelete, but the budgets are so different, so spin is needed to pamper the uniform pussies. No hate, its fact !
The governor is not required to appoint an auditor from the same political party as the former one.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, so easy to check your Republican BULLSHIT!
Such a fun loving sort!
ReplyDeleteAny "Scholars" in the area at the time? Will Alonzo demand the Royals have a moment of silence for the deceased? Will Tony finally slip his mini Choriso in Toni Bones turd cutter?
ReplyDeleteRead about it all in my next column in the Joplin penny shopper!
ReplyDeleteHe was going to be accused of antisemitism? Umm, better check that.
ReplyDelete"The governor is not required to appoint an auditor from the same political party as the former one." Go read the Mo Constitution and get back with us.
ReplyDeleteFree speech is a bitch, sir, and you shouldn't delete my comments if you truly believe in free speech.
ReplyDeletedon't be a cut and paste SPAMMER. write whatever u want but if you do that text block shit. u r gone. those are the rules 'round these parts fella.
ReplyDelete@12:05 - Looks like u r the bitch whon can't come up with an original idea.
ReplyDeleteRepublicans are such a lousy sort. Liars and swindlers. I guess Tom finally had enough.
ReplyDelete1145 PM. Stifle your nutbag beliefs and thanks for making me f***'in read the constitution:
ReplyDeleteSection 4. Power of appointment to fill vacancies—tenure of appointees.—The
governor shall fill all vacancies in public offices unless otherwise provided by law, and his
appointees shall serve until their successors are duly elected or appointed and qualified.
Search for "party" and "auditor" and "appoint" and "f***tards who don't know what they're talking about" and get back to me.
Does Montee still have a drinking problem?
ReplyDeleteIs that her husband from Montee Law Firm we see on the back of the phone books?
ReplyDeleteCount me in the conspiracy column. The man's actions leading up to the "suicide" makes no sense. There's something missing we're not being told.
ReplyDeleteWhat's a phone book?
ReplyDeleteIt has yellow covers you'll find stacked up in apartment buildings where people can't afford interwebs, a series of tubes that flow through the internets.
ReplyDeleteHe wasn't going to be accused of antisemitism, he was going to accuse John Hancock of antisemitism.
ReplyDelete