Kansas City grandma Holly Stewart has now garnered nationwide acclaim for her artsy endeavor utilizing huge polyester quilts shaped like penises.
To wit . . .
KANSAS CITY MAINSTREAM MEDIA MUST TELL THE STORY OF HOLLY STEWART AND HER HUGE POLYESTER QUILT PENIS ART!!!
Seriously, it would be worth it just to see local anchors giggle and blush while introducing this tidbit.
Already the Internets has offered a great perspective on the story:
Daily Dot: Missouri grandma launches Kickstarter to help advertise her giant craft penises
Jezebel: These Giant Quilted Polyester Penises Are the Highest Form of Art
Elite Daily: This Grandmother Launched A Kickstarter To Fund Her Penis Quilting Habits
Here's a couple of UMKC links to remind us that going to city college was pretty much pointless:
EXHIBITION: Local Grandmother Quilts Giant Penises - Holly Stewart, MA Studio Art
HollyPolyester Exhibition
Description: "This page is specifically for the upcoming exhibition of "HollyPolyester: Local Grandma Quilts Giant Penises: An exploration of the phallus as the site of female empowerment and the rightful status of the crone in contemporary society."
Thankfully, Kansas City Grandma Holly earned her Kickstarter fundraising goal and hopefully her creations give rise to even more success.
Developing . . .
sweet. fun for the whole family.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to Idiocracy
ReplyDeleteWhere we put it?
ReplyDeleteBend over and I'll show you.
DeleteMaybe S'lie is right. We really do need to import real talent to survive.
ReplyDeleteJesus Christ. I grew up down the street from this crazy fat ho. She tried to run over a guy one time.
ReplyDeleteI am just stunned. Tho not totally surprised, I guess. Still fat and crazy.
One can only imagine her views on unsolicited bulk mail...
She ain't got nuttin. I'm putting together big butt pillows. Three sizes. Jumbo, Extra Jumbo and Super Jumbo.
ReplyDeleteShe's not breeding puppies, pimping her kids out, or selling cheap meth at least.
ReplyDeleteThey are body pillows you idiots I swear you men can be so ignorant.
ReplyDeleteThe article said she worked in a dildo factory. Lots of benefits, I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteThose things are the right size for me but if they can't get hard then what's the use?
ReplyDeleteHer family must be proud.
ReplyDeleteThanksgiving is always uncomfortable. Mom's centerpiece features a Pilgrim with a strap-on. My poor kids...
ReplyDeleteClaims she "used to be a police officer" on her etsy profile.
ReplyDelete(Probably time for a thorough and complete metal examination on this one)
I'm surprised no one has asked if those things will fuck her in the ass then cum all over her face and hair.
ReplyDeleteIn memoriam- Cum Guy 198? - ????
More proof the only time you want to visit CK is if you’re going to make an emergency landing at KCI and can board another flight quickly.
ReplyDeleteHey Holly, how about a hot air balloon cock, with a Sly James head?
ReplyDelete4:04 is as welcomed as a turd in the swimming pool.
ReplyDeleteWhen is she going to announce that the reason she started her company is because of the new streetcar line?
ReplyDeleteThen she can head to city hall and load up on some subsidies like the rest of the urban futurist grifters.
It's freaking incredible... I've managed to create a system that actually shows you how to increase your penis size by up to 4 inches in just minutes a day using simple hand performed penis enlargement exercises! No more gimmicky 'penis pills' or wasted energy and money trying to use penis enlargement scams to no success!"
ReplyDeletehttp://www.growyourpenisfast.com/?hop=25151020
that's the only penis that stupid bitch will ever see.
ReplyDeleteI want one!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteKansas City must be real proud, to call this cunt their own. Jeez, what a bag of shit she is. Sit's around making giant dicks outta discarded fabric. Oh yeah, that's a real classy endeavor.
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna go do kick start on my own penis. Hell it is a lot bigger than those little fake things she is peddling.
ReplyDeleteDongs of Sevotion
ReplyDeleteJr, take good care of this...it's a dick pillow your grandmother made.
ReplyDeleteJC, just another line in KC's obit.
CK
ReplyDeleteBREAKING!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteGrandma Holly (Polyester Penis) to team up with Mark Allen Alford (Custom Body Bags) to produce and market a line including:
Big Slick Dick = Penis in a latex body bag.
Mucho Grande = Oversized Penis in a gold-lame body bag with detachable wheels.
The Inseminator = Penis with fluid reservoir inside a waterproof body bag.
Has Peregrine commented?
ReplyDeletePeregrine is hermetically sealed within a massive dong, fashioned from reclaimed oilcloth and diapers.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm kinda honored.
ReplyDeleteKansas City home of the multicolored giant stuffed Penis maker. and more dangerous than the City that gave NWA rap group.
ReplyDeleteYou know them, they are from Compton and the NWA stands for Niggers With an Attitude.
What a lovely place on the plains this Kansas City home of the winningest football team ever.
Why just today they showed their stuff at Kaufman Stadium.
How come she doesn't make big black ones?
ReplyDeleteI brought something for show and tell that my grandma made.
ReplyDeleteA lot of us guys like chubby women.
ReplyDeleteWell, have at it Sparky. She would love the attention...
ReplyDelete