Thursday, June 26, 2014

Kansas City, Kansas Schlitterbahn Verrückt Water Slide Stays Losing: STALLED!!!



The world's tallest water slide in Kansas City, Kansas has also turned out to be a HUGE disaster.

THE SCHLITTERBAHN VERRÜCKT GRAND OPENING FOR THIS WEEKEND IS ONCE AGAIN KAPUT!!!

The disappointing news:

KCTV5: Schlitterbahn again delays opening of Verruckt water slide

Deets:

"Schlitterbahn Kansas City Waterpark announced late Thursday night that the world's tallest water slide won't open after all on Sunday. This is the third time that the official launch of Verruckt has been delayed. But for the first time, water park officials did not offer a new projected opening date."

At the very least this poorly constructed and cursed project with a German name reminds us of the myth of white superiority or at the very least will inspire a bit of Kansas City schadenfreude from amusement park FAIL and their curious sounding attractions.

Developing . . .

23 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Does Verruckt mean disaster in German?

Anonymous said...

Bet you a shiny new nickel that they'll have to tear down a significant portion and start again. Maybe the world's biggest water slide engineering disaster.

Jim Bohannon's Unvarnished Truth said...

Someone dies on this the first 6 months regardless.

There is no advanced calculus in existence to over-engineer this against obese cornfed rube stupidity.

Some dolt is going to leave a mark on the pavement.

Anonymous said...

Sad but true dat.

Anonymous said...

Only white people do that dumb shit. I say open in up and let their ignorant asses catapult to the pavement. Fuck 'em!

Anonymous said...

Where were the physicists and their calculations before construction? Not one cent should have been spent on a contractor until it was mathematically proven to be safe. Someone at the Shitterbaun has some explaining to do. Hell, I was a liberal arts major and still know that.

Anonymous said...

Who cares. At least the taxpayers didn't pay for it.

Anonymous said...

Actually, they kinda did.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure Schlitterbahn sits on tax abated land so it isn't as much as they pay for it as they never see any revenue for it aside from sales taxes.

Anonymous said...

Over/Under First serious injury 17 days.

Anonymous said...

It's not like it is a difficult model to see how much track you need when you calculate the frictional resistance of 300lbs on a raft travelling down a wet concrete slide at a parabolic angle.

It probably has something to do with the walls not being high enough on the sides. It looks low at first glance.

Anonymous said...

Just a preview of the Kansas City Downtown Toy Train Starter Line.

Anonymous said...

A 300 lb fat ass couldn't get up the stairs in the first place.

Anonymous said...

Thats the part that will be most dangerous 7:47, almost 250 steps to the top. Imagine that line on a 95-degree day and how long people will be in line to ride it. Someone is gonna have a heat stroke and fall down the stairs, taking a few with him.

Phil Hartman said...

This thing just sounds more and more like Bad Idea Jeans.

Anonymous said...

If they prohibit fat people from riding it, for safety reasons, at least half the customer base will be eliminated. Just look around you next time you go to the mall or downtown or wherever. You can't go anywhere around here without seeing lots of obese people.

Anonymous said...

This summer I hope all white people are blessed with the gift of melanoma!!!!! Sending prayers up

Anonymous said...

VerrFuckt

Dr Twitch Withers said...

And 9:15 I don't need prayers to know that the diabetes will take the rest of your grammy's foot this summer.

She just can't stay off that Popeye's Chicken and Biscuits!!

Anonymous said...

12:50 you must be on the UG payroll to make this statement. Years ago the bill to tax payers for this cesspool was $800,000. Wyandotte County taxes are outrageous because of all free taxes and utilities.

We have been carrying millionaires, now billionaires for decades. We pay and pay and pay with no end in sight. We can't sell our homes and properties to get out of this hell hole because NO ONE in their right minds want to pay 3 times more taxes for less value than other surrounding counties. Cops and firefighters are living in Leavenworth and Shawnee. Their using the addresses of others to get around living in the county.

THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF VACANT PROPERTIES IN WYANDOTTE COUNTY, YET THEIR BUILDING APARTMENTS.

Businesses across the highway from the cesspool ARE not paying for utilities or property taxes. This has been going on for decades.

We pay for over 14,000 county employees salaries, benefits, cars, cellphones, 1st class travel, private jets, bar bills, and golf every month.

Slide into hell water park. You built the place on lies, so keep it up.

The Bureaucracy in this county are living like kings.




Anonymous said...

All this daily press over that silly assed slide at Shitter Bomb park and no one can figure out how easy getting a toy train is gonna be?

Anonymous said...

no worries. The toy train will be connected to Wyandotte County and all your troubles will be solved. We'll pay for it.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Unified Government propaganda machine where’s your highly overpaid mouth piece to tell us how fabulous and great this project is for ‘the community’?

Where are all the tv commercials for the place that are filmed in another state? Where are all the free passes for UG employees so the parking lot is filled with cars?

Because we all know that what spells success for all the UG crooks projects are the number of cars in the parking lots. You better get busy and pass out those FREEEEEE passes again.

ps hey, you UG crooks where’s the hotel and shopping center connected to the waterpark you promised? Nothing but a mud hole with rusted heavy equipment parked where tax paying residents used to live.

pss hey, city hall and BPU another fine mess you have made. Your lies are catching up with you.