MUST READ!!! Kansas City Brookside Toy Train Streetcar Hipster Manifesto Response
TKC NOTE: Thanks to a Brookside Kansas City reader for this bit of irony and a Sunday meme response in KCMO . . .
This is Aunt June of Brookside's Oldster Manifesto, a response to the hipster manifesto. Aunt June is a member of SMARTKC.
A conversation with little Aunt June...she is wanting a streetcar and that is that.
"Simmer down, now. This is how its gonna be, Bubba. I want the street car extension through Brookside and Waldo. I need your vote. We need to make this happen. Here are some of the reasons and just writing all of this makes me tired. I'm gonna need a nap.
Vote yes on the streetcar extension into Brookside and Waldo. Why? I will tell you why. You know those huge trees that umbrella the boulevards and streets? I want those chain-sawed down. I like lots of sunshine. Hey, I'm not a sissy. No sun block here. Take those 80 year old trees and make mulch for all I care. Too many leaves to rake, anyway. Oh, and that anti-pollution job of big trees? They clean the air of thousands of pounds of pollution? Plant a bush and don't confuse me with facts. Think Green? Think GREY!
Vote YES on the streetcar extension because I never wanted those 300 parking spaces at Brookside/Waldo anyway. We have parking up the WA-Zoo. Who says we need more parking in Brookside and Waldo? The store owners? Well, too bad. Shoppers need to come earlier. It won't hurt them to drive around awhile. I would rather see those electric poles and wires, lots of em', running up and down and criss crossing Brookside. To sum up.. no parking spaces as they are now,.no trees, just electric poles and wires. Lovely. Looks like progress to me. We will look cosmopolitan. We will look like Portland. So cool! I am one lucky gal.
I just love the sound of the railroad type gates that must be at every intersection. They not only look pretty, big and red, they sound great, with lots of bells and whistles and since they will be at every stop....more is better. Par-TAY! Love that the streetcar is big, 78 feet long, is noisy and it vibrates (whee) and uses coal to make the electricity. Lights and noise and vibration? What's not to like?
Forget peace and quiet. Those old fogies, can't remember their names. Whatever. If they want peace and quiet like they have had before, then they need to move. Bu-Bye, now. Take the bus. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.
I especially want the streetcar to bring people out this way, "out yonder" to take a good look at Southwest High School. Don't be jealous Our fine school is UNACCREDITED. You don't find that everywhere. Famous. It takes decades of concentrated lack of effort to get that title. We are so proud!
Who said education was a good thing? Really? So you are saying I should be concerned about education and not spending millions on a street car? YOU are no fun, Bubba.
I WANT a new airport. I WANT a streetcar. And I want it now. About the streetcar downtown...not finished until 2015. Some folks would say we should wait and see how downtown pans out, but not me, NO way. That's for losers.
Remember the downtown streetcar was voted in by mail...and it only took 314 votes for the City to spend 225 MILLION. Easy Peesy. The secret? It's all in the RUSH. Spring it on em when they don't see it comin!
I want the prestige of a streetcar. Classy folks ride the streetcar. Forget buses. They aren't romantic. Yeah, yeah, they run every twenty minutes, and they are low cost, and they are paid for...but, listen to me...I said I want the high class streetcar. I don't care about cost. I live for today. Forget there isn't enough money. If you want it, go for it. And, get this, if you lie enough, tell them Brookside and Waldo are really blighted neighborhoods, the Feds will GIVE you a grant. I'm not makin this stuff up. H e l l o ? I don't think you are keeping up, boy.
Vote for this!! Only the hippest people vote with us! Especially renters and students that don't have to pay a dollar of the cost. Unlike those stooges who live within one-half mile of the car line. They will have to pay for 25 years. Heck that is only 9,000 days. They need to quit their gripping. Those same no bodies will pay an extra 1 cent sales tax for, get this.....drum roll.......30 years...or 10,800 days. Well, that is a long time, but, I don't care. I want my fancy, cutesy, high class streetcar and if they have to pay, they have to pay. It's rough all over.
Ain't life great? If you vote for this, I get what I want, when I want it, and make the others pay for it! That will learn' em!!
I'll be visitin' you next week, and I don't want any back talk. It's all about me!