Friday, March 28, 2014

Craig Talks Ian Karmel



TKC NOTE: A note about weekend plans . . .

Chelsea Lately New Hot Guy
Ian Karmel At Stanford and Sons

Ian Karmel has only been doing stand-up for five years. Most comics that start hitting the big time have been doing stand-up for 8 to 10 years at least. Ian moved to LA less than a year ago from Portland, Oregon. Karmel had been on the TV series ‘Portlandia’ which takes place in his home town, after just a few months in Los Angeles, he was discovered by Chelsea Handler. Chelsea not only put him on the show each night, making him the hot new guy. The heavyset, charismatic Ian was not only put on her show as a regular but Chelsea hired him to be her new writer on the show. Karmel went from nowhere to everywhere.

Last week, Chelsea joked about Ian being in Kansas City at Stanford and Sons for this week. Khloe Kardashian was a guest host of Chelsea Lately and she thought he was the funniest guy on the show and also mentioned his appearance here on the air. Karmel hit the trifecta when last week he appeared on ‘Conan’ and O’Brien introduced him as follows, “making his first appearance on our show is Ian Karmel from ‘Chelsea Lately’, you will see him next week in Kansas City at Stanford & Sons.” All this heat got Karmel on KCTV-5, Fox 4, and KSHB TV 41 over the last two days for local interviews as a way to introduce this massively funny guy to local audiences. He even did several morning radio shows including 610 sports. They all loved him.

Karmel talks about his large size, which he attributes to too much fast food and delivers some funny stories about Taco Bell and Jack in the Box which he performed on ‘Conan’. Karmel also talks about how tough it is to have relationships with women when you are a big guy like him. One of the more interesting pieces he does is his ‘One Night Out with Khloe Kardashian’ and his explanation of the Kardashian butt. Ian is clearly an outstanding talent and will make his way to theaters soon ala Jim Jeffries. Another great reason to come out this weekend is to see his co-star, Mike Smith, one of the stronger area talents KC has produced in the last ten years. Mike has been on BET and Comedy Central. Sunday at 7 pm there is a special comedy extravaganza starring Laurie Fank (filming her first Comedy DVD) and Dean Boese (from ‘CSI’ and ‘That ‘70’s Show’).

Next week, one of KC’s favorites, former-American Idol host, Brian Dunkleman who has also appeared on ‘Celebrity Fit Club’ and ‘My Name is Earl’ will make his appearance at the club. April 10th through the 12th, one of the most talented stand-ups of our time, the star of TV series including ‘The Mind of Mencia’ and films like ‘The Heartbreak Kid’ with Ben Stiller, Carlos Mencia will be here. For tickets and more information about any of these shows call (913)400-7500 or visit Stanford’s on-line at stanfordscomedyclub.com.
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71 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Amy Shumer next weekend at the Midland - THE top female comic out there now..

she has that wickedly bitter but funny jewish snark..

yet looks likes a super-hot blonde haired
blue-eyed White chick!

niiice combo!

Be there!

Anonymous said...

Spam up top.

Anonymous said...

never heard of him.

Anonymous said...

Chelsea & Khloe like this guy ? Enough said.

Anonymous said...

Saw him on Fox this morning, hilarious. I don't watch Chelsea, but he was funny.

Anonymous said...

We love fat guys. Just watched the Conan clip online. He did kill. Can't come this weekend, but we are coming to see Mencia. Heard you were getting Steve o and Chris Tucker? Is that right?

Anonymous said...

Come out for our watered down over priced drinks and a dirty shit hole. Feel free to get stabbed on the way back to your car.

Tiffeny/ staff said...

You sir at 3:00 PM are a jerk. Our club is very nice, we don't need to water down anything, stabbed, What? Legends has had less violence than any other entertainment area in KC ever. Who are you to make up such trash. I work there, a waitress, two years, love it. Why would you make up such things? Is your life that sad. Are just a big loser? I guess. I'd like to kick you in the balls, but you likely have none.

Anonymous said...

We gonna do this or not, gramps?
Me and my buddy will me you and turdman anywhere, BUT your joint ..ANYWHERE ELSE ..name it, old dude.

Harley said...

Young lady what you have here is a poor example of a person who just hates. No reason, just does. He is a gutter slime ball, nothing more.

Bob Thurman said...

Hey how about Woodside Saturday in parking lot, I will watch Glazer kick your ass and your pals. I will not help, he won't need it, I've seen him in action. I know you won't show, say 1 PM, I'll call Craig.

Anonymous said...

You couldn't help anybody Bobby. It's not 1982 anymore.

CG said...

Woodside is fine, 1 PM..you won't show, the liars and punks like you never do. However if you want to get jacked up fine with me, see you at Woodside at 1 otherwise SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Shug said...

LOL...the King of Turds wanting to have a smack down. Glazer your a stupid mother fucking clown. Your not worth of Byron smack. Snitch.

Iceman for the win....... said...

Thurman, somebody may go Iceman on your swollen head. Won't be the last time either.

guess who punk said...

Shug you come too, you are a low life bitch who has been seen having sex with your mom. I'd enjoy fucking you up!!! If I'm a snitch you are my bitch punk.

Anonymous said...

Hater calls out Glazer. He responds. Hater has tough mean words but does not agree to meet and fight. Bob Thurman comments, no response from bad guys. Looks like Thurman and Glazer scared you off. THEY ARE RIGHT YOU ARE LIARS AND LOSERS. GO AWAY HATERS. WOOOOOOOO.

Anonymous said...

while Legends outlet mall may not have the threat of Plaza type "teen" violence..

you should be prepared for toxic fart clouds from the throngs of blubbery goobers of western WyCo waddling around, attracted by the Cabelas and the outlet shops.

OSHA rated protective face-masks are a must.

P Bear said...

Comedy seems to be flowing with yet another Glazer posting. Tony going for a early Friday night KO tonight. Internet bad asses are like Negros on the Plaza. Boring.

Isn't Woodside right off the Plaza. Perhaps all you bad MF's could rally on the Plaza with the hoodies. Get the fireworks started early. I will be there just to watch a bunch of fat old pricks keel over with heart attacks while talking smack. There is something about a douche bag brawl that makes me want to giggle.

Anonymous said...

BEAR, I don't think Bob Thurman and Glazer are normal older guys, both in shape and still fight today. Thurman does exhibitions and Glazer has been in publicized scraps, he wins. Two guys I wouldn't want to f with. An 8 time world champ who is maybe 50 and Glazer, a tough guy who has books and news paper stories to the sky on. Bad choices. Stay away.

Anonymous said...

Glazer: Thurman: for the win, internet loud mouths run for the hills.

And the Crowd Goes Wild said...

Bear I will bring the beer and lounge chairs. I am with you. This will be funny as hell.

Anonymous said...

More Glazer bullshit he won't show get his ass kicked out of Woodside is what will happen well ok I will make it happen.

Anonymous said...

Ok glazer you got it you fuckin fink fuck ..woodside at 1.looking forward to it! I'm gonna fuck ur face up..be there buttplug and bring turdman. I'll bring my boy, we'll see how it works out.I ain't worried,you should be.don't be a weasel now. Show up or shut the fuck up forever! Deal?
I might buy you a beer afterwards, when you wake up.

DOUCHE BRAWL 1 tomorrow at 1 PM, be there said...

I'm down with the bear. Douche Brawl 1 @ 1. Be there. The King of Turd and Bob "Thruman" Murman vs Buttplug and "his Buddy", 1pm at Woodside. This is a unification fight for the "Blabber Mouth World Championship of Shit Talking". A Sanford and Son Production.

Anonymous said...

SHUG, you oughta come out and witness this.

Anonymous said...

Just talked to "super dave".he's coming.loading the jazzy in the van right now.

Anonymous said...

Chuck, you gonna make it? Shouldn't be any hiphop or gun play. I hope

Anonymous said...

I can't imagine 50 and 60 year old men doing anything other that yapping. First of all I Thurman Murman hits ANYONE he goes to prison. As for Glazer, from the reads on Google his rep is mostly un-proven. The Kelly Bros have a number of stories about Glazer and none involve him being a bad ass. Just the opposite. As for the buttplug guy and his buddy, don't have a clue who they are. But I am betting the bank there will not be a blow struck. There could be a blow but it won't be from a punch. But what the hell, it's a nice weekend, and I will be there sitting with the Bear drinking beer and having a good old time.

Eric/Westpor said...

Thurman/Glazer people with fake names and full of lies and hot air ain't gonna show anywhere. They are full of it. Didn't you learn that when you showed up in Westport to fight some guy from Hearnes site? All of you people grow up. Glazer yes you were a bad man, Thurman what 8 titles, enough said. Move on, nothing to see here folks. The only thing at woodside on Saturday will be Glazer lifting weights, Thurman working out and a couple of cars in an empty lott.

Tiffeny/ staff said... Eric/Westpor said... Joel/Fairway said... Employee/ KCK said... said...

Hey Eric/Westpor and these other names you use: How about you eat a bowl of dick you fucking twit fuck. Stop sucking cock you phony fuckwad.

Tiffeny/ staff said...
Eric/Westpor said...
Joel/Fairway said...
Employee/ KCK said...

You are a fucking idiot!

Eric/Westport said...

Oh really drit bag. I worked for the Glazers at JOHNNY DARES. Big Eric. Wish I could run into a tough guy like you.

Reader said...

Look the only real person on this site other than Tony is Glazer. He writes stories and uses his real name and where he works. The rest of the comment people are all fake names at best. So your comments are meaningless. You hide behind a computer. If you had any real sense or pride you would use a real name. None of you do including Chuck who is real but who is Chuck and Harley, not a real name. Only Glazer is real. Therefore sorry only his remarks have value.

Westport Trucky said...

Hey Reader what is your name asshole?

A Woodside Member said...

Ok Glazer here is how it's going to go down. Your going to lose this fight because if you show up at Woodside at 1:00 I will see that you never set foot on that property again. You will be banned for life. Think I am jacking with you, just go ahead and show up I and a few others will be there ready to see that you're escorted off the grounds with cops if needed. Thanks for the heads up WT.

Anonymous said...

I will be in the silver truck. Gonna be in the area anyways.

Anonymous said...

Fite me IRL bro

ESPN live from Douche Brawl 1 said...

Live for the sight of Douche Brawl 1:

Just drove by Woodside, tents are up, concession hawks are everywhere, looks like the ring is ready. One of the riggers said it was a hard bottom ring. So Thurman Murman may bounce like he did when Iceman knocked him into retirement.

Security is tight.

Loud hip hop music was playing, and there were several motor homes pulling in. Word has it they were filled with hookers there to support Glazer.

A limo was nearby and it was reported that Jimmy JJ Walker was in the limo, passed out.

Another report had the ghost of David Brenner walking the streets of the Plaza last night in anticipation of "Douche Brawl 1" today at 1PM.

Supporters of "Buttplug Guy and his Friend" already had sign up.

There were no signs of support for Glazer and Murman Thurman although there were several meth ho's loitering nearby.

A local reported seeing Glazer and Murman Thurman in Victorias Secret trying on thongs in anticipation of todays battle royale. Word has it they were at the shake and Bake later to work on their tans.

As for "Buttplug Guy and his Friend", they were seen at Rosedales eating burnt ends and drinking beer. They were signing autographs and showed confidence that they would prevail in todays "Blabber Mouth World Championship of Shit Talking".

ESPN is reporting that Tiffeny/ staff ..Eric/Westport Joel/Fairway... was purchasing costumes and makeup at Macy's outlet at Metro North. No word as to which persona he/she will appear as. It was suggested that he/she could be the ring card carrier. That was nixed because "Buttplug Guy" said that the fight would only last about 15 seconds.

Reports out of LA state that a 747 charter with some of Glazers best friends are on the way. That list included Gary Bussey, Tim Conway, Donald Sutherland, Michael Jackson's ghost, Robert Downey Jr, Samuel L. Jackson, Ophrah Winfrey, Dr. Phil, Jerry SPringer, Honey Boo Boo, Clint Eastwood's chair, Roy Rogers, Mr Rogers, Rogers Ebert, Arnold, Sly, Dolph, the Wilson brothers, Hugh Hefner, Lebron James, the Champ, Tommy Hearns, and Warren Buffet. Later reports this charter is missing over the Pacific ocean and all aboard are presumed missing. There are no verifiable accounts of this story so it would be considered accurate by local reporting standards.

More live reports as the occur on Sportscenter live.
Employee/ KCK

Anonymous said...

this is comedy gold. Another Craig gaffe

Anonymous said...

I've seen Craig "lift" before. He's one of those old guys who doesn't lock out his reps because he is trying to show off and doesn't want to put the proper weight on the bar.

Anonymous said...

Someone please take pics, please!!!

Anonymous said...

U fucked up cg. These two dudes are members of a certain MC club that don't fuck around. Neither of them is thirty yet and they don't give a fuck!!
Have fun.

Anonymous said...

read all about how Glazer would set people up as a crooked snitch here:

http://leagle.com/decision/1978574223Kan351_1517.xml/STATE%20v.%20GLAZER

Westport Trucky said...

12:14 that explains hands down what a lowlife snitch Glazer is.

Anonymous said...

Wow! Talk about a low down snake. Thanks for the info.

Craig Glazer said...

AS EXPECTED THE COWARD, LOW LIFE, RATS NO SHOWED. I HAD TO WORK OUT ANYWAYS SO OF COURSE I WAS AT WOODSIDE FROM NOON TIL AFTER 1 PM..THESE SCUM BUCKETS WITH NO NAMES, NO HONOR NO SHOWED OF COURSE.

IN PRISON I WAS TRAINED 'RAT FINDERS' THESE PUNKS ARE THE 'RATS' HELLO...

THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT FAKE NAME COWARDS LIKE THESE...THEY HIDE IN MOMMY'S HOUSE OR BASEMENT AND TYPE OUT BS ALL DAY..

THATS THE SECOND TIME I WENT TO FACE A PUNK OR PUNKS WITH THEM A NO SHOW THERE WON'T BE A THIRD. LIKE I'VE WRITTEN 'IN HISTORY NOBODY, THAT'S NOBODY HAS EVER COME TO MY FACE AND SAID ONE BAD THING TO ME' WHY, FEAR, RESPECT, BOTH...AND THERE'S NOTHING TO REALLY SAY....EXCEPT hey man enjoyed the comedy at your club, liked your book, you are funny on radio and your blogs are always a fun ride...I do get those comments daily.

GOODBYE COWARDLY RAT PUNKS, AT LEAST IT WAS NICE OUT.

Anonymous said...

Damn you're sick.

Anonymous said...

Looks like the 3 time cocaine felon and snitch bumped some lines and thinks he is 50 feet tall!

Westport Trucky said...

He is now history at Woodside telling you that much now.

Anonymous said...

CG is a fuckhead snitch. That much we all know.

Live from DOUCHE BRAWL 1 said...

Live from DOUCHE BRAWL 1......

This is Howard Cowasill reporting from “Douche Brawl 1” at Woodside, Kansas City, Missouri. The weather today is clear, 50 degrees, and a perfect day for an asshole rumble of epic proportions.

The combatants today are Craig “King of Turds” Glazer and Bob “Murman” Thurman versus the duo of “Buttplug Guy and his Friend”.

The crowd is overflowing. Every known douche bag in KC is here. Alonzo Washington, Jermaine Reed, Cindy Circo, Hearne Christopher, Yael Abracadabra, Mayor Sly, Revs Tindall, Cleaver, and Bishop Finn representing the Catholics. Also in the crowd is the Kartdashians, Chelsea Handler, JJ Walker, Hugh Hefner, several local crack whores, a group of cheesy looking chics from WyCo who claim to be the Glazer fan club. The Polar Bear is sitting with Cum Guy and Bulk Email Guy drinking 45’s and smoking the biggest Cheeba joint ever. They are totally fucked up.

The music is blaring the theme from Rocky. Wait, here comes Butt Plug Guy and Friend. They are dressed in overhauls and work boots with baseball caps turned backwards. I assume that is to appease the hoodrats in the crowd. Looks like Butt Plug Guys “Friend” is a Platte County farm boy. He stands about 6’6” and goes 285. This boy is bad looking with tattoos and he looks like he is straight off the farm. The crowd is in a frenzy in anticipation of this showdown.

DOUCHE BOWL 1 cont... said...

And here comes “the King of Turds and Murman Thurman. They are wearing robes and the look totally overmatched. They are now taking off their robes……OMG….they are dressed in “matching thongs”. The crowd is roaring with laughter and hurling insults at these two obvious clowns. “the King” is sporting a fake tan with a rodent rug that looks to be attached with velcro. Murman Thurman is wearing a Kung Fu headband that is obviously cutting off the circulation to his head. His head is swollen, looking much like a cantaloupe.

The referee for this event is Claude Kahooka, the foremost douche bag fighting official in the world today. And now lets go up to ring announcer Michael Buffer for the introductions.

Ladies, Ho’s and gentlemen, introducing in the red corner from nearby, Weighing in at a rotund 256 lbs on a 5’6” frame, the King of Turds, Craig the Know-it-All Glazer. And his teammate, Weighing in at a trim weight of 136 lbs and standing 5’5”’s tall, Bob “ from Bad Santa, Murman” Thurman.

In the blue corner from TKC, Platte County and parts unknown, Weighing in at 183 lbs and standing 6’9”s tall, Buttplug Guy. And his teammate also from Platte County, Standing 6’6” tall and weighing in at a trim 285 lbs, Friend.

“Let’s Get Ready to Rumble”…….

The King of Turds looking rather perplexed is pushed to the center of the ring by Murman Thurman. From the other corner out comes Buttplug Guy with a giant smirk on his face. The King is going into a modified Ali shuffle…it actually looks more like Fred Sanford having a heart attack. Buttplug Guy is laughing. Ding Ding Ding.

The King moving to his left slowly, looking like his arms are already tired, throws a wild haymaker at Buttplug Guy. That missed by a mile. Buttplug Guy is walking straight toward the King. Buttplug guy unleashes a kick to the King of Turds nuts. The King is bent over in the center of the ring. Buttplug Guy is winding up with an uppercut and just knocked the King of Turds up on the top rope. The King is out cold. Wait, now Murman Thurman tried to jump in the ring and is tangled up in the ropes. Friend has tagged in and is approaching Murman Thurman. Oh no…he has grabbed Murman by the thong and has him in a wedgie. Murman is screaming in pain. His head looks as if it will explode. Now Friend is pulling Murman’s thong off. OMG…Murman Thurman is hung like a field mouse. The crowd is laughing so hard many are pissing themselves. Friend just grabbed Murman and is giving him a nuggie. Murman has tapped out. Wait, Friend is not thru. He is now holding Murman’s head against his ass and just blew a fart that knocked Murman Thurman completely out. The fart was devastating as it singed the hair of several ho’s sitting at ringside. Folks this Battle of Douche Bags is over. Time of the fight, 39 seconds of the first round. Both the King of Turds and Murman Thurman are being carried out of the ring, and toward JJ Walkers limo.

And the winner, Buttplug Guy and Friend.

Reporting live from Woodside, this is Howard Cowasil, now let’s send it back to Sportscenter

Anonymous said...

What kind of person challenges someone to a brawl? And who shows up? Is this West Side Story?

Anonymous said...

That is some funny shit @ 3:27

Anonymous said...

Comedy gold!!!

Anonymous said...

I hope I'm not so FUCKIN STUPID when I'm in my late sixties ..what an idiot! You're lucky no one showed,ya dumb ass old man.

Anonymous said...

GLAZER ain't late 60's. He can handle most anyone I know. Look at his photos on here, tells you a ton. Glazer is the winner you guys are the losers.

Anonymous said...

Tub of Shit got kicked in the nuts and knocked out. That makes him a winner ? Your a idiot.

Anonymous said...

He's not going to do shit to anybody. Convicted felon, known liar. If he was worth a shit he wouldn't be paying the local blogs for type.
Legend in his own mind. Toner.

Anonymous said...

looks like he is about to be thrown out of Woodside for sure.

Anonymous said...

I'm with Craig on this one. He went to the spot, they didn't. It happened before. Craig learn to ignore these comment people. It's a waste of time, they won't change no matter what you say or do. Move on.

Anonymous said...

So this is now the second In-Real-Life Timeout the internet has given to Craig. (Second only to his three IRL Timeouts his cocaine abuse gave him)

you re outta here said...

I contacted Woodside and asked why they have members using their parking lot for brawls. Referred them to this blog post .

Anonymous said...

Glazer and Thruman are a couple of old, bitch, queer, has been's. Just a stale elevator fart's.

Anonymous said...

If you look at the free preview of his 'book' it is written on about a 3rd grade detective story level. Best part? Pictures of CG in the 80s trying to look kewl but insead looking like a skinny fro'ed out jew in Carerras. He couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag.

His fat-swell is a recent HGH/Steroids thing.

Craig it is fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A you can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal, you can wait in the parking lot looking for fights that are never coming. OLD MAN....
THERES NO NEED TO BE DOWN...

Anonymous said...

KICKED OUT OF YOUR CLUB...

Not Needed said...

Craig Glazer is not kicked out of our club. He is a member in good standing. He has been for years and a friend of ours. Whoever YOU are, stop making things up. I read your hate mail. You my friend are a big liar. People like you are not welcome.

Anonymous said...

CHILDREN....CHILDREN....
what is with glaze and his
haters wanting to meet to
fight? are we not grown ups?
Glaze has and will always be
a controversial subject along
with his views on almost everything.
For those who constantly attack
him personally not only does it
show how big a loser you are but
how much time you have that could
be spent on much better endeavors.
We all know glaze...and we know
he posts under multiple namesand
he self promotes himself andhis
club to an extreme.
But if you are irritated by what
he write ...don't read it.
Your constant attacks on glaze
are just old.
We as adults can discuss and have
some back and forth banter about
subjects and debate each other
with some fun jabs and comments.
But to attack this guy with
regularity and with vicious
personal attacks is not only old
but also getting out of hand.
And glaze...you only bait these
people with your attempts to meet
them. They won't meet you...they
know you...they know you and are
only trying to get your attention
and make your life miserable.
Glaze lives his life as he
wants...if he wants to hang with
young women..sobe it! If he wants to self promote himself
so be it. It's not new..its been
going on for years.
And if you don't like what he writes then move on without showing
how childish you can be.
Glaze invites all these hateful
comments...and apparently he
enjoys the back and forth he gets
from his haters. So be it...to
each his own.
So instead of wasting your time
hating on the guy maybe those
haters should findsomething
constructive to work on...maybe
improving your life.
As far as Bob Thurman...anyone
in overland park or joco knows
the guy is the real thing. Whether he's 30 or 50 or 70 ...no one in their right mind would want to take him on. I've seen
him and he'd seriously injure
anyone with a single punch.
So stop the old/stale attacks.
Go find another blog to put your
negativity.
Glaze is glaze...love him or
hate him....he's who he is.
And glaze...you should be ashamed
of stooping to the level of these
haters. They got you down to their level of hate and anger.
Meeting to fight might end in
a serious injury and further legal
problems for you only this time
there might not be someone there
to help you gfet out of trouble.
As for those who constantly bang
on this guy....there's nothing
wrong with factual/proven arguments to counter his writing.. but to carry out a
constant stream of hate filled
speech is out of line.
And remember...you're attacking his business and there are laws
that you might want to read up on
that he could use to bring a
case against you for damages
to his business which could
prove very costly to you in a
court of law.
everyone settle down.These are
for fun and entertainment.
keep the hate and the anger
out...be reasonable...have some
funand hopefully we can all
get along and do something
positive!!!!
your friend
Harley

Anonymous said...

also...a shout out to glazefor
offering new comics an outlet
to perfect their acts.
We allstarted someplace.
wheterh we're painters or business
owners or writers or salespeople...
we all started somewhere and many
of us owe gratitude to those
people who took a chance on us
in the beginning.
For glaze...it giving some new
up and coming talent a vehicle
to work. Not all comics make
100k a night ...they allstarted
somewhere.
I've seen several young comics
when glaze had his place in
overland park and can say that
some of them were excellent.
glaze offers these "dreamers" a
chance to make good on their
dreams to be successful in the
comedy field.
Glaze may try to take too much
credit for the success of some
of his previous comedians at his
club...but you gotta give the
guy accolades for having the
guts to bring in new talent and
give them a chance.
we're all dreaming about something
bigger in our lives. Glazehelps
these young comics by offering
them a chance to fine tune their
shows.
give credit where credit is due!!!!!

Hot Harley said...

Hey Harley, does your ass pucker when Glazer sticks is little Jew Boy cock in your mouth ?

Anonymous said...

The midland sure has a bunch of a listers coming there. Really capitalizing on thrre notbeing a real comedy club in actual kc.