Friday, February 21, 2014

TKC BREAKING AND EXCLUSIVE NEWS!!! BROOKSIDE RESIDENTS FEAR THE KANSAS CITY STREETCAR PHASE DUEX!!! HERE'S A FEW REASONS FOR TOY TRAIN PANIC!!!



Brookside just might be the Waterloo for the progress of Kansas City Toy Train streetcar given the active resistance from residents who seem skeptical of promises from City Hall and so many consultants disguised as activists.

To wit . . .

CHECK THIS LATEST FEAR LIST FROM BROOKSIDE RESIDENTS WHO FEAR THE TOY TRAIN STREETCAR PHASE DEUX!!!

Let's make this quick and dirty just like the fake transit election proposed to raise sales taxes in Kansas City again . . .

If The Toy Train Doesn't Take Out Trolly Track Trail, It Will CERTAINLY Interfere With Convenient Parking For Brookside Shops



Again, it's worth repeating that toy train advocates can't create more space in this district so they're going to have to bulldoze over something.

It gets worse . . .

One of the "many solutions" for Brookside has already drawn fear among residents.

THERE'S TALK OF A TRAGIC BROOKSIDE PARKING GARAGE TO GET CARS OUT OF THE WAY OF THE TOY TRAIN STREETCAR!!!



This disastrous ides usually earns audible groans and reveals the toy train in Brookside is already off-track.

Worst of all . . .

BROOKSIDE RESIDENTS FEAR A TOY TRAIN TROJAN HORSE!!!



This insider BRILLIANTLY explains the sitch:

"You likely already know this but in case you didn't the planned streetcar railbed, which normally can be done with a one foot deep bed, is spec'ed for a depth of four feet allowing much heavier and faster "light rail" traffic. The plan apparently is to transition to light rail at some later date. I suspect a great deal of the streetcar buildout expense is the increased cost of this much deeper railbed which will impact sewers, water lines and other underground utilities. Again, you may have known all this before but it is starting to look like the streetcar is just a Trojan horse for light rail."

The common theme here is that Brookside isn't very trusting of City Hall and the tactics of streetcar advocates aren't doing much to create a good relationship.

Developing . . .

64 Comments:

Anonymous said...

There's no way Brookside Stepford Wives will allow this.

Brooksy said...

Big Boss Nigger gonna git he way wif de help of de crooked nigger money lovers! Watch an see!!!!

Anonymous said...

We hipsters are getting soooooo tired of all the negativity surrounding the glamorous streetcar we have decided this city (using the term loosely) will have, so we are hereby issuing the first draft of our Hipster Manifesto. After all, if it worked for Marx, it should work for us. We think Groucho would be so proud if only he were only alive today, and if he wouldn't approve, well he could always move.

It’s obvious that some people in Kansas City are behind the times and do not understand the contributions we hipsters are making to this once moribund cowtown. As incredible as it seems, some people actually (can you believe it?) object to the fact that they are inconvenienced by all of the benefits we are bringing to flyover country simply by breathing the air in this Midwestern backwater. Well, all we can say is get used to it. We’re here, and we’re not going anywhere. The following are the new rules we hipsters are establishing for this burg. If you do not like them, you can always move. (Continued)

Anonymous said...

If you live anywhere from downtown to 85th Street, we reserve the right to hold marathons in your neighborhoods on any and all given Saturdays we choose. You should plan to stay in your homes and off the streets when we hold these events. If you are so inconsiderate that you simply must get out on one of the Saturdays we have occupied your neighborhood, please plan to do so after we are finished with our marathons, as we will do everything possible to thwart any automobile traffic we see. If you object to our taking over your neighborhoods for a good cause, you are a whiner, a cheapskate, and probably an obese doughnut-eating anti-fitness freak, and you do not deserve to live anywhere, let alone in the pleasant neighborhoods we have decided to honor with our presence so frequently. If you’re Jewish and are trying to get to temple, we’ll you’re not supposed to be operating machinery on the Sabbath anyway, so there. If you do not like this, you can always move.

We reserve the right to install any and all streetcar lines whenever and wherever we decide. Although we live in condos and apartments downtown that offer property tax subsidies, you are required to pay for the streetcars whether or not you ever use them. And don’t tell us to take the bus. We know there are a lot of them in this backwater, but buses are so Twentieth Century and are certainly not worthy of us hipsters. If you do not like this, you can always move.

Most of us cannot afford cars. (Starbucks only pays so much, you know.) And those who can afford cars do not like them, so we have decided that such car-friendly facilities as Kansas City International Airport are much too convenient and must be replaced with, for example, a single-terminal airport so that when our hipster friends come to visit us we will be able to hold our heads up and be proud of the fact that we will have an airport that is just as inconvenient as those in larger cities. If you do not like this, you can always move.

We reserve the right to make and answer any and all calls whenever and wherever we are, whether in a theater, a movie, a church, the restrooms at COSTCO, Half Price Books, a library, wherever. Our calls are much more important than anything you have going on. So what if you have to wait a few minutes longer when the cashier has to wait for us to end our call. Will this kill you? How rude can you get? If you do not like this, you should stay at home, shop online, and watch TV. Or better yet, you can always move to an Amish community.

We are not going to be bothered by learning the differences between your and you’re, its and it’s, to, too, and two, and all the other rules of grammar, punctuation, spelling, and capitalization. These rules are for the small minded, and we have our minds occupied with much larger and more important things like updating our Facebook pages. You say a sentence should start with a capital letter and end with a period? we say who cares if you can’t understand what we’re trying to say well that’s you’re problem and you can always move

While we condemn any overt discrimination against people of color, we don’t really want to have anything to do with them (unless they happen to be hipsters, like us), hence our aversion to buses and our unwillingness to cross Troost and certainly Prospect. It’s all good and well to talk equality, but really, people!

This is just the first draft, people. Feel free to suggest any additions that we may have missed.

Anonymous said...

Is that the fucking best they got?

The City is evil because they are excavating too deep?

Fuck.

You people are losers.

Anonymous said...

How about Brookside just doesn't want the toy train. How about being tired of paying for all the BS that comes out of city hall. Infrastructure is falling apart and all the city leaders can focus lining their pockets and throwing money at their buddy's and baubles.

Abc kc said...

How about moving the train to KCI and only digging down 2 feet. Have it connect to secure areas with world class shopping in all three terminals.

Anonymous said...

Try to drive through 20th and Main, those big,deep holes have been there for weeks.

Anonymous said...

What about the debris? Won't someone think of the debris?

And yeah progress that will turn KC into a livable city sure brings out the whiners.

Anonymous said...

You likely already know this but in case you didn't the planned streetcar construction will kick up DUST! The plan apparently is to so pollute the air that everyone in Brookside will die and the hipsters will squat on our land! I suspect a great deal of the streetcar buildout expense is to increase the amount of dust. Again, you may have known all this before but it is starting to look like the streetcar is just a Trojan horse to kill us all!

Anonymous said...

Fear? LOL not quite but it is true reality is a harsh mistress and the streetcar people have yet to learn that lesson.

Anonymous said...

The sad secret is that streetcars of all descriptions and vintages are at best modestly successful transportation projects, at worst expensive objets d’art that very few people use. Demand for the vehicles is driven not by the public but by the dreams of land-use planners and downtown boosters who imagine that aesthetically pleasing vehicles lumbering in slow circles through walkable areas will somehow prompt a boom in economic activity.

The fantasy that people will travel or move to a particular location purely for the pleasure of tootling around in a trolley has consistently failed to materialize. This is a fact.

Anonymous said...

If you throw a brick in a group of pigs and you hear a squeal it means you've hit a pig. There is a lot of squealing here this morning.

Anonymous said...

@8:03-brilliant! You have described the hipster mentality to a tee. Thank you. The hipsters with their McJobs are so envious of those of us who have been successful enough to afford to live in Brookside that they want to get their revenge by destroying our lovely neighborhood.

Anonymous said...

Catering to the In-Crowd - At its core, it’s a tacit admission that the whole scheme isn't really about improving transit. It’s about attracting the kind of rider, be it tourist or local, who refuses to ride a city bus.

By pushing ahead with a streetcar, cities not only imply it isn’t possible to destigmatize public buses, but that they’d rather invest $500 million and higher pursuing the desires of those already averse to mass transit, rather than improve service for people who really need it.

Anonymous said...

Hell no brookside doesn't trust City Hall and its toy gravy train. It'll never be finished, the city is broke, and those in office at this moment will get their cut and be already gone.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Tony. As Joe Biden would say "this is a big f"ckin' deal".

Anonymous said...

While the hipster manifesto is pretty much on point and hilarious at the same time, the real tragedy is that the elected people at city hall, who are mostly a bit old to be hipsters and certainly not millenials despite their bowties and plaid shirts, have been stampeded into this nonsense and are in the process of commiting taxpayers to decades of $10-15 million/year bond payments as far as the eye can see to pay for a fad that might last five years at best.
And, as has been repeatedly pointed out, meanwhile the streets continue to deteriorate, the water department is a mess, the sewer system is looking at a billion dollar fix to meet EPA requirements, and the homicide rate has continued to be so bad that even the Star is beginning to pay attention.
Sly's the mayor of the city, not the president of the Chamber or Visitors' Bureau.
And there's not a sign of any serious responsible adult supervision at 12th and Oak.
World class.

Anonymous said...

Not only the parking of Brookside, but the parking at Sutherlands and 74th Wornall will be destroyed. They are destroying the economic base. This is not about economic development.

Anonymous said...

Anyone But Sly 2015

Pootie Tang / Polar Bear 2015

Dan Coffey/John Murphy 2015

Tony Botello/Pat Tuhoey 2015

Marcus Leach/Pat Grey 2015

Anonymous said...

We hipsters are not interested in your old 20th Century economic development, 10:13. You remember the old "Emperor has no clothes" gig, don't you? We have a vision and people like you are not included. Get with the program or you can always move.

chuck said...

8:03

Well done.

Jesus, can't City Hall, local and state gov fix the streets, hire more cops, clear out the Plaza and have a fuckin coke?

Oops, fuck Coke, have a Bud.

This city is unique by way of it's geography, state line and the actual acreage it encompasses. We are not going to be Denver, or Portland etc etc.

The city's priorities should NOT be efforts to drive us further into debt.

Anonymous said...

There's a legion of hipsters to push this train through completion?

Anonymous said...

These same hipsters that buy everything they can on the internet to avoid sales tax. That is why they do not care about the tax burden, just poor people will be paying for the streetcar.

Anonymous said...

True, 11:38. Internet shoppers living in apartments with tax abatements.

Blight MeKC said...

So, the City will consider a parking garage in Brookside but refused the idea concerning the East Patrol project which includes about 65% surface parking lot and wasted space; and 35% building, demolition of a 24-acre neighborhood filled with historic houses? WoW!

Anonymous said...

If people in Brookside want a preview of whats possible just go to brush creek next to the Plaza where they installed the concrete bowl now known as flush creek instead the cutting edge environmental design the city promised.

Anonymous said...

The tax burden is at its saturation point. We have voted for taxes to improve infrastructure, voted to keep the 1% income tax - and we have nothing to show for it except broken promises from Sly James. Thank goodness folks are waking up to this City Hall theft and are standing in unison against another tax/spend FAIL plan. There was a reason the streetcars were dismantled in the first place!!! Learn from history, people - both the tax increases with no delivery on what they promised, plus the FACT that streetcars are by definition a boondoggle that only design/construction assholes profit from.

Anonymous said...

It's no Trojan horse when you can see the whiny hipster renters dangling from it before the Brookside perimeter is breached.

Anonymous said...

OK. A Trojan unicorn with rainbow farts.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget your Water & Sewer Taxes...yes, Taxes, 15-25% annual rate increases for as far as the eye can see. No one in KC will be able to afford to take a shower! Thank you, Burns and Mac!!

Anonymous said...

First it was grunge, then it was emo, now we have hipsters. A nerd crossbreed with emotional emos. They are sooo "indie", but they are all the same. Thats the real fucking joke of it. Bow ties, black rimmed non prescription glasses, some bearded some not. Ive noticed the gay hipster shaves more often than the metro hipster.

Hipster will ride the train for a few months and then stop once they realize everyone else is doing it. The trick to keeping hipsters on the train is to provide free wifi and have apple advertising on the side of it. You must also play music on the train of bands nobody has ever heard of.

Oh and yes they dont like cars either. If you do not have a vintage bicycle you boast about on Instagram riding to work you wont fit in.


The reason I am not a hipster? Because I am a man. I cant wear skinny jeans because I was gifted with something that needs some breathing room. Skinny jeans on men is an abomination. No indie sissy boy lifestyle for me.

Anonymous said...

Back in the late 50s and early 60's, Portland's bus fleet ran on nearly the same type of overhead electric wiring, as the streetcars are using.
Then, the "city big boys" at that time, decided; "These antiquated, overhead, ugly as sin, electrical wires, HAVE TO GO"! We need to;"Beautify Portland", make it more "modern looking", and get rid of these miles and miles of ugly wires"!
Yep, we've come a long way, since then!?!

Anonymous said...

Portlands City Council is a lost cause. The "planned outcome" hasn't been achieved, nor is it expected to.

Anonymous said...

Will we need to improve signals and signage, install boarding platforms for bus and trolley riders, add trees, art and "street furniture" to make the Brookside pedestrian experience smooth and enjoyable?

Anonymous said...

I want to see Alonzo get a job at Hamburger Marys.

Pootie Tang said...

Toy Train running down da Trolley Track...yeah...Pooties ho's can get on da ToyT n ridez it to the GOP Convention. Dem white Waldo wives bring top dollar to doze Repubic pervertz. Dey like dem good smell Waldo ho's.

Pootie and da Bear will cleanz dis nasty azz wanna-be-negro shitz up.

DabootyBandit said...

You hear me Alonzo? I said I want to see you in a dress, a wig, some lipstick, and heels. Get yo ass ass over there.

Anonymous said...

2:27 you sound just like George Guestello. Is that you George ?

DabootyBandit said...

Nope, but I AM a white man whos gonna get his chocolate

Anonymous said...

Dabooty you need to hook up with the Cum Guy.

Anonymous said...

The trolley track run was originally a...ready for it...trolley track. I used to walk on it on my way to Border Star as a kid. Brookside can shove it and swallow another line through the neighborhood. It would be a waste to go to Brookside. Nothing there for pedestrians. Rockhill seems like a better path to include UMKC.

Anonymous said...

We have it good here, I payed double in Chicago

Anonymous said...

I wonder how snow removal is going to work for the train line.

Is there going to be a framed picture of the mayor inside the trains. Maybe some speakers for local propaganda?

Anonymous said...

Heated tracks will melt the snow....

Anonymous said...

In fact, it's an improvement.

You will find that the silent majority will get this done.

Also the insider here is bad cartoonist/househusband Bryan Stalder.

Anonymous said...

The "silent majority" had better demand some serious and accurate estimates of how much this fiasco will cost, how long they'll be paying, and what other services will be cut to balance the budget.
Remember, the very first decision Sly's Streetcar Authority" made was that the system would be FREE. And everyone with any sense knows how "free" projects turn out.
All aboard.

Anonymous said...

If they open any more bars in Waldo they will need parking garages. It's going to hell out there anyway. I am sick of them throwing up and peeing on my lawn. The hipsters will ride the streetcar from their downtown loft rentals out to party at the new Westport that is Waldo. I say we just start shooting hipsters on site. Forget the problems on the plaza, we need to work on making Waldo and Brookside hipster-free. KILL THE STREETCAR! VOTE NO on the creation of the special tax district. VOTE no on the 1% tax.

Anonymous said...

Can we have an ordinance for "hipster free zones" in Kansas City?

Anonymous said...

Even the Portland streetcar has its critics who think the trolley is sheer folly.

"These lines are really expensive to build, even if you get federal money," says Jack Bogdanski, a Lewis and Clark Law School professor who blogs on Portland politics. Bogdanski says that while Portland touts this trendy gimmick, its basic services and city finances are suffering.

"It helps sell apartments to 25-year-old kids, but it doesn't create much," he said. "Young millennials need a job. This is taking them from their crummy apartment to their job making coffee."

Anonymous said...

Oh you want to be like Portland? Steetcars will fix everything?

Well a recent state audit finds Portland needs to take 'extremely urgent' money, safety problems more seriously.

Investigative stories by The Oregonian about sleepy drivers and secret pay raises helped push the Oregon Legislature to pass a bill, seeking a top-to-bottom audit of the agency by the Secretary of State's office. The transit agency's reputation for sweeping problems under the carpet also contributed to the action, according to a bill sponsor.

"TriMet needs to fix a culture where low morale, secrecy, safety problems and more than $1 billion in unfunded financial obligations threaten to wreck the public transit agency, a new state audit has found."

Anonymous said...

These are vanity projects, started and perpetuated due to giant egos in our government, and the fact that a few higher ups get rich.

Anonymous said...

We hipsters think it's time to revisit the story of the emperor who had no clothes. In that story you will recall everyone believed the emperor was dressed in the finest clothing possible until a little brat offered his opinion that the emperor was not wearing any clothing. Well, who would you believe? Everyone who admires the new clothes or the little brat? Please accept that we hipsters have a vision for Kansas City, and we will impose that vision on you, vote or no vote. So don't be like the little brat and spoil the illusion--er, I mean vision--for everyone. Never mind the man behind the curtain even if he does look a little like the mayor, in other words. And if you don't like it, you can always move.

Anonymous said...

I'm voting yes. Let's get the city moving. Take your negativity elsewhere.

And if you don't like it, you can always move.

Anonymous said...

Negativity = refusing to submit.

I'll keep my negativity. Chances are you hipster drifters will move on if you actually have to work for something. I was here long before you and I'll be here long after you have moved on to another scam.

Anonymous said...

Yes 7:10 you’ll be able to tell your grandchildren, if you ever have any you are the ones responsible for saddling the cities with high taxes in order to pay to operate streetcars that cost twice as much to run as buses and to spend even more maintaining rail lines that were obsolete almost a hundred years before they were built.

Anonymous said...

Tony's on-going sniveling about the streetcar is about the most opposite of stealth and strategic as one could be.

Without taking a position, I will tell you this on-going noise on this subject stopped being taken seriously after his first 73 blog posts in opposition.

Just saying.

Anonymous said...

7:10 = Card-carrying renting hipster-tard. Sneaking his or her way onto the Trojan unicorn parked at the Plaza/Brookside border, festooned with rainbow frills and banners and balloons! And nary a single penny of real estate tax even having been paid by said hipster-tard.

You move out. We own real estate in Brookside.

Anonymous said...

I'm a slumlord/ in Brookside.. An old gray mare anymore. Full of people that bought at the top, remodeled, and will move as soon as they can get out !
It ain't what it used to be

Anonymous said...

9:12, the fact that you are post 57 suggests others may not be ready to let this go.

Anonymous said...

Look at a city like boston. Being near a transit line stop means your property value drops like a rock! /s

Anonymous said...

This is not Boston. /

Anonymous said...

So you can always move to Boston.

Anonymous said...

Save our personal parking spaces in front of everywhere.

Mostly empty parking spaces are the ecodevo scheme of the awesome 80s.

I had sex then, and that was nice. so lets just do it that way forever. Plus I like being way, way, wayyyyyy behind the times here in KC, i mean CK hahahah.