Saturday, December 28, 2013


Here's our quick and dirty guide to New Year's Eve in Kansas City because I'm not selling any thing for anybody else on this blog . . . Which is also a key component of Free Speech . . .


1. Kansas City NYE Party Deals Are For Suckers

Sure, there are some great performers @ K-Pact scheduled for the NYE celebration but $225 is way too steep to be crammed in the urban seashell facsimile with a bunch of snobs that you wouldn't want to hang out with under normal circumstances.

2. Kansas City NYE Fare Is Overrated

Paying top dollar to wait in line for a crab cake buffet doesn't make sense at any other time of the year nor does it stand to reason because of a calender switch up.

3. Live To See Kansas City 2014

They call it "amateur night" for a reason . . . Remember that a couple years ago NYE in KC hosted multiple shootings and a few murders. It really is the stupidest night in Kansas City . . . Not counting elections.

4. There's No Firing Your Gun In The Air Amid A Lame Local Rip-Off NYE Party

Firing off a few rounds as the clock strikes midnight is the most ridiculous and long standing Kansas City tradition that probably dates back to the founding of river city. Accordingly . . . Missing out on this cowtown celebration of idiocy completely isn't really a big loss.

5. Did Anything Worthy Of Celebration Happen In Kansas City During 2013?!?!?

Seriously. This town spent most of this year on track to becoming the next Detroit and smiling all the way. There's a rumor that the economy is bouncing back for the stock owning class but just about everybody on local streets is broke as a joke, angry and disappointed that most of the mainstream local discourse is an exercise in propaganda. Don't get it twisted, it's great to be with loved ones but celebration with a bunch of bozos and chasing skanks isn't the best deal during this annual celebration. Again, swapping fluids with desperate strangers doesn't start or finish off the year on the right note.

Still . . . We might venture out of the basement for a few moments if only to bother a few local celebs and big booty white broads while we plan our next move . . .

And all this has inspired tonight's playlist. 

As always, thanks for reading this week and have a safe and fun Saturday night.


Anonymous said...

kc hip hop for nye? bad combo!

Anonymous said...

Party Pooper.

Anonymous said...

Kpac where blondes who you want to hear will be singing

Anonymous said...

We can shoot fireworks off in our town and damn do we.

Anonymous said...

KC is not the next Detroit. People are not fleeing the city. Jobs are not leaving. Entire industries are not closing. The tax base is stable.

Now given those facts - and they are facts - consider that there's negativity, and then there's blind stupidity, tinged with bitterness and smacking of racism, in the face of those facts, but when has Slanderella ever been concerned about what is true and what is not?

Only never.

However we'll keep bringing up your terrible record and your penchant for baldfaced lying.

Slanderella 2014. There is always more and it is always worse.

Anonymous said...

Somebody's got a touch of "wilsuns syndrome"
Shame, the only cure is suicide.

Anonymous said...

There are a lot of rich leaches in the city and we can take a breath for a minute because they can't loot the city as fast as they would like to.

Anonymous said...

6:43 don't you mean don't want to hear? If no then you are one sick puppy.

That Guy said...

@6:46 - sounds like somebody is looking on the bright side and hoping they don't take another paycut from The Star.

KC isn't Detroit, people actually care what happens to Detroit.

We're more like Cleveland.

Anonymous said...

bitch, i disagree

Deuce said...

"Slanderella 2014. There is always more and it is always worse."

Somebody put that on a t-shirt and I'll buy it!

Henry Hill said...

I was cooking dinner that night. I had to start braising the beef, pork butt and veal shanks for the tomato sauce. It's Michael's favorite. I was making ziti with the meat gravy, and I'm planning to roast some peppers over the flames, and I was putting on some string beans with the olive oil and garlic, and I had some beautiful cutlets, cut just right, that I was going to fry up before dinner just as an appetizer. I was home for about an hour. My plan was to start the dinner early, so Karen and I could go unload the guns that Jimmy didn't want, and get the package for Judy to take to Atlanta latex that night. I kept looking out the window and the helicopter was gone. I asked Michael to watch the sauce, and Karen and I started out.

Anonymous said...

Get a different tune. Both of you. That movie was good but not great.

Also, NYE in KC is far overrated.

Anonymous said...

Re-Anything Worthy Of Celebration
No, the hipsters that forced the trolley on us will be moving to JoCo and KCMO citizens will be paying for it forever. Will make P&L look like chump change.

Anonymous said...

Another NYE and no date, heh Tony?

Anonymous said...

burn unit has been dispatched