KANSAS CITY CATCHING SWINE FLU?!?! NEWBIE H1N1 SPIKES ACROSS THE NATION AND MAYBE IN THE METRO TOO!!!

As the year comes to a conclusion . . . This wicked town doesn't just have to worry about bullets and car chases . . . Disease is quickly spreading through Kansas City.

Check more deets on this story that first broke a couple of days ago:

Fox4: Flu has hit the metro and our region with a sharp rise in cases for this early in the flu season. The Kansas City, Missouri Health Department has received 570 reports . . . Most of the cases are Type A, and health officials say it’s possible a lot of them are H1N1, the strain that first appeared in 2009.

Tragically, it's too much to ask for sick people to stay indoors and maybe not cough all over the populace in crowded public places. So count on using a lot of hand sanitizer for the remainder of winter and maybe tell low wage workers to keep the change not only out of generosity but also to avoid swapping fluids with the plebs who might not be up to date on their vaccines.

CDC: More states reporting widespread flu

WebMD: H1N1 Flu Spreading in South-Central U.S.

Sun: New version of 2009 pandemic flu virus surges; targets healthy middle-aged people and young adults

Developing . . .