Sunday, January 20, 2013

THE CAREER OF TONY GONZALEZ TEACHES A TRAGIC LESSON: TALENTED PEOPLE MUST ESCAPE KANSAS CITY QUICKLY!!!



This evening the Atlanta Falcons suffered a soul crushing defeat and the career of All-Pro Tight End Tony Gonzalez is now at an end.

Remember that last week Tony G. could barely contain himself after winning a playoff game and literally shed tears of joy.

Now he's walking off the field for the last time without ever visiting the Super Bowl as anything but a fan.

Without question Gonzalez was an amazing talent but his career without any payoff offers a lesson for us all . . .

TONY G. DISAPPOINTMENT AND HIS FAILURE TO WIN A SUPER BOWL RING CAN BE BLAMED ON HIS FATEFUL DECISION TO STICK AROUND KANSAS CITY FOR FAR TOO LONG!!!

And THAT is tonight's teaching moment . . .

Similarly, Kansas City's economic strategy for the future is based on luring hipsters even folks with jobs and young families to this town with a silly toy train and other attractions that make are supposed to make KC a "hip, cool, fun" place to live (bleh) . . . As of late, the promise of a so-called tech boom and a great deal of marketing hype in service of a new Internets TV service also hopes to bring more people to this cowtown. Entrepreneurship via the Internets is the new hotness in Kansas City right now and even our political elite are hoping to create jobs via apps.

BUT HIPSTERS AND YOUNG PROFESSIONALS MUST BEWARE OF LOCAL ECO-DEVO HYPE!!! KANSAS CITY KILLS CAREERS OVER TIME AND A QUICK ESCAPE FROM THIS COWTOWN IS THE ONLY HOPE!!!

In the final analysis, the tragic life decision of a legendary athlete who never realized his full potential should serve as a lesson to us all to get out of the Greater Kansas City Area while we can and before it's too late.

19 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Pancho.

Anonymous said...

This is the truth!

The Kansas City Sta... said...

Yeah, other American cities are so much more worth it, literally the only thing kansas city has going for it is cheap cheap cheap, and a lot of people can make a lot out of a lot of things because it is so cheap to live here. Look at the costs of living in other cities, chicago, los angeles, seattle, new york, forget about it, over priced during this depression 2.0

City of Fascists Heart of the Nation said...

Thanks to Corporate Amerika' if you've seen one u.s. city you have see them all, McDonalds, Wendy's, Church's Chicken, Pizza Hut, Bank of America, US bank, Starbucks....etc.

Anonymous said...

5:30 has a point - it's the same crap all over. There is no escape from tghe facists.

Anonymous said...

So leave already. Jesus.

Anonymous said...

Everyone that can leave has already gone. KC is the shit's and a shithole for careers of all kinds. Stay here if you must but if the chance presents itself to leave, get the fuck out!! Kansas City is death to a career in so many fields..

JoBu said...

Tony, you are almost correct in your analysis.

But I wouldn't discount the suburbs so quickly.

Johnson County (your so-called Golden Ghetto) has one of the most vibrant economies in the Midwest with a debt burden that is far lower than KCMO. Every day businesses discover that it's better to move a few blocks away and deal with a state and local government that is friendly to business than your KCMO officials who are inherently corrupt.

JoCo is thriving and a great place to raise a family TKC.

It's only KCMO that's turning into Detroit.

Anonymous said...

You get what you pay for.

Anonymous said...

It's a lot more than just "creating apps," nitwit. There are a lot of cool, remarkable people doing great, innovative things here and they're not stupid bird games.

I'm going to open a Kickstarter tomorrow to buy you a one-way bus ticket out of town. It's true everybody tunes out your negativity but it's a sorry, sorry song to keep hearing over and over.

Seek a mental health professional or check into some career counseling. Maybe go back to school to make yourself useful.

I'm sure you think the grass is greener elsewhere but many times, it isn't.

And while you're at it, grow up.

And what 6:49 said.

Anonymous said...

Funk Wins.

xalti said...

So, you're finally starting to wake up TKC?

bout time.

Anonymous said...

All the niggers and wetbacks have ruined this city.

Anonymous said...

Right Tony! If for no other reason than to not entertain people like 8:15!

I'm leaving real soon. The rednecks can have this place. Die stupid mother fucker!

Anonymous said...

LOL, 8:15 is about as cosmopolitan as this city will ever be!

Anonymous said...

Where is everyone today. Let me guess, in a cave watching sports.

Anonymous said...

MLK rules the day. STFU!

Anonymous said...

During pregame national media pointed out that TG and TEBOW had the same post-season win totals

Anonymous said...

Given what we are stuck with i am pretty darn sure the talented people did escape quickly...