Puck Takes On Water Department Worries And The Rising Tide Of Higher Rates

(TKC NOTE: Puck is one of the best and brightest people reading and contributing to this blog and this interesting character has a lot of information to relay regarding Water Services and impending water rate hikes)

Puck Dives In… and the Citizens Will be Getting All Wet and Hung Out to Dry

Last Thursday, the City Council Business Session had an “interesting” speaker… Bernardo Garcia, the director of the Water Department. Mister G was delivering a rambling discourse, reminiscent of Mariah Carey’s recent acceptance speech, making the listeners ask themselves, “What the heck is he talking about?” In case you missed this meeting, let Puck, the master of watching re-runs of City Council meetings, condense the information for you. You should be interested… you’ll be paying for this.

A little bit of history that you should know, dear readers. In the past six years, the Water Department has had FIVE different directors… Frank Pogge, Gurney Gunter, Jim Buckler, John Franklin, and now Bernardo Garcia. These REVOLVING DOORS at the H2O Offices are not helpful to the successful management of the department. The current leadership, judging from his performance at this business session, is sorely lacking in skills to run the water department and even the skills to explain to the City Council what he needs to do at the water department. Blocks of time to raise rates and improve the infrastructure are measured in “5, 10, 20, maybe 30 years! How can a guy with 25 years wiggle room carry our city through the EPA-mandated changes to our combined sanitary sewer issue that will cost taxpayers billions of dollars, when we hear Bernardo has already missed several EPA deadlines? Apparently Mister G. has not endeared himself to the EPA… and that bunch HOLDS the KEY to Kansas City’s future.

Bernardo attempted (badly) to make his case to INCREASE WATER RATES EACH YEAR for 5-10 years to the tune of 15% each year. The funds would be used to fix broken and leaking pipes, which Bernardo claims cause our city to lose 27% of our water each year through leaks and breaks. He admitted that neighboring municipalities are expected to raise their rates roughly 6% per year. Yet he continually insisted that KCMO rates would remain among the lowest in the city. Puck’s not sure how that math works… it sounds a little fuzzy to him. We raise our rates 2.5 times more than other cities, but somehow we stay on the low end of water rates. That simply does not compute.

But it wasn’t just Bernardo’s fuzzy math that made the presentation lacking in professionalism and smarts. His words were less than impressive, and seemed ill thought out… lots of hmmmm’s and hawww’s going on at that meeting. At the risk of sounding like a meanie, the chat stew served up by Mr. Garcia was less than meaty. He was all over the map in terms of figures, saying that the plans he Presented are for 10, 20 or maybe 30 years. In answering a question from John Not-So-Sharp, Bernardo referred to him as Councilman Skaggs. (Sharp, wearing a horizontal striped tee under a jacket reminiscent of Ernie from Sesame Street did not resemble a “Sharp Dressed Man”).

Bernardo did not respond well to COUNCILMAN JOHNSON’S EXCELLENT point about having a neutral and non-political professional study regarding the water operational side of the H20 biz. In fact, Bernardo said, “I don’t need another book” and while the council was welcome to hire yet another Consultant the city still has 27% LOSSES ON WATER PRODUCT. “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!” Bernardo blazed with confidence. Sadly, confidence does not translate into competence,especially in this department.

Bernardo’s attitude could only be classified as extremely rude and flippant, something a department head who is in a bit of a hot seat an ill afford. Bernardo continued to whine as to why he didn’t need another consultant; his bookshelf is full and he doesn’t have enough time to read. So the Council is just supposed to trust him, and give him what he asks for so we can have another year of underfunded reserves, broken and leaking pipes, and growing rates that will soon price us out of being competitive with other cities.

Terry Riley lobbed a few softballs to Bernardo during this exchange, reinforcing the already well-known fact that Mr. Riley is great pals with Mr. Garcia. But Terry had three scintillating examples of why Bernardo’s presentation during the session was first rate: He said 1. We need to keep our promises to the citizens, and 2. This could stimulate the economy, and 3. Jan and Terry reviewed it. Doesn’t all of this thoroughness make you sleep better at night, shower with a song and flush with more confidence than ever before? If Terry reviewed it, it must be first rate… right? Sort of like Perfect Output and the Citadel, huh?

Yes, Terry and Bernardo seem quite symbiotic in the matters of sewers and such. Could it be that Terry’s treasured friend, Teresa Loar, formerly handmaiden to Wayne Cauthen, is counting on Mr. Riley to help deliver those economic driving forces known as Water Construction Projects to Teresa’s company, Tetra Tech? She is expected to deliver big time contracts. But with Wayne westward ho, and no big Waynette to help her out, Teresa has to get her assists from the only folks she’s got left… Terry and Bernardo. Teresa hasn’t been seen around these parts too much, and the rumor is Tetra Tech might be giving her the boot. You, dear readers, will have to wait for more to come. But underneath the obfuscating by Mr. Garcia, the softballs lobbed to him from Mr. Riley, the brilliant mention of giving the taxpayers what they were promised from John Sharp, there is much more to this story. Depending on how THE FEDERAL SUBPOENAS work out and the FEDERAL INDICTMENTS waltz in, there might be one or two fewer council people in place to deal with the water situation.

One other point of note… Terry Riley confronted Russ Johnson and threatened to harm all of “his projects” if Russ and his pals didn’t back off trying to “get” Bernardo. Johnson reportedly was very gracious about the incident and basically laughed off Terry’s expected thuggery. And amazingly, Terry apologized a day or so later. This council-watcher doesn’t know which is scarier… being screamed at by Terry Riley, or getting an apology from him.

Until next time, ta ta dear readers. Apologies if you’ve been left with a bit of a jumble, but with Puck poking about (dressed in a divine Burberry Trenchcoat with warm uGg boots), he’ll get to the bottom of this deep well.