Friday, November 20, 2009

Kansas City Northland Runs This Town: TKC Weekly Power Rankings!!!



For maybe the first time in a long time, Kansas City Political movers and shakers are slightly more entertaining than Jodie Marsh all buffed out in a bikini.

Here is the scientific ranking Kansas City's most powerful and influential people:

POLITICOS

1. Mayor Funkhouser - Very much like his initial election, he was carried in on a wave of something he didn't have much to do with and probably screwed up. Still, people think he accomplished something this week and that the most important part!!

2. Council Lady Deb Hermann - The lady who really got rid of Wayne Cauthen.

3. Council Dude Bill Skaggs - The old man made an impressive showing and proved that he's still got a bit of political muscle i.e. a loud voice.

4. Mike Talboy - Democrat dude is keeping damn busy making sure the Show-Me State GOP is constantly worried.

5. Jason Kander - An early week kiss and makeup with a former adversary was rather classy.

KANSAS CITY NEWSIES:

1. Russ Ptacek - His toxic investigation was more personal and had more impact than previous attempts to spotlight a radioactive issue around Bannister.

2. DeAnn Smith - She led all locals in researching Mayor Funky's Ethics Foibles.

3. Jason Whitlock - His penchant and talent for pressing buttons was evident this week.

4. John Landsberg - Newsies all over town call him for confirmation of their importance which makes him even more important, in turn.

5. Nadia Pflaum - Less productive but writing more important stuff than usual.

KANSAS CITY MEDIA PERSONALITIES

1. Beena Rajalekshimi - Jardine's just might be bringing about a Kansas City Jazz Renaissance.

2. Mark Mangino - They say he's a bully but as long as he's employed he remains bigger than life.

3. Zed Smith - The Cordish Guy caught a great many breaks this week and managed to fend off a firestorm of criticism.

4. Gloria Squitiro - Angry that Jeff Roe has silenced her, she's making some amazing preparations for her return to City Hall while still managing to screw up X-mas in Kansas City!!!

5. Chris Stigall - Talk of his crappy ratings and gig to host the Mayor's Christmas Tree Lighting earned him more acclaim then his lame ass talk show.

KANSAS CITY MAYORAL CANDIDATES

1. Deb Hermann - She made an expert move to start making her run.

2. Mike Burke - His website made a great many impressions this week.

3. Sly James - It would be unwise to forget about this guy, his many contacts and all of this cash.

4. Henry Kline - He's too nice to skip over.

5. Mayor Funkhouser - Ever so slightly it would be incorrect to notice that public perception of him . . . is still awful. So his hiding is a great move.

Again, these rankings were determined by precise, scientific data collection methods of mainstream media reporting, Internet content searches and community opinion research.

9 Comments:

Anonymous said...

But you smell strong.

Anonymous said...

like bull.

Anonymous said...

What about Beth for Mayor?

Disappointed In Funk Since the Primary said...

It will come down to Funk and Sly, and Funk will go negative-off-the-books like he did in the primary against Big Al Reiderer in 2007. The attack mailing tying Big Al to gay marriage came from a Funkhouser ally working with Gloria. Now Funk has the Mr. Jeff "I leave a Slime Trail" Roe working for him, and Jeff will do anything.

Anonymous said...

If Deb Hermann runs for mayor I might vote for her but she really needs to improve on the frumpy image.

Anonymous said...

Dumpy Deb for Mayor!!!!

Anonymous said...

Tony. I think I have figured out your power rankings algorithm.

Does it involve rum, mary jane, and a hairy palm?

Anonymous said...

Somebody got it RIGHT!

Anonymous said...

I rank Cold Pack cheese just ahead of Funkhouser.