75th Annual TKC Halloween Costume Party!

Sadly, Kansas City doesn't have somebody like Hugh Hefner to throw a sexy Halloween party with hotties and celebrities . . . So my celebration with local politicos, newsies and C-listers will have to suffice.

The average d-bag won't be able to make it into a TKC party so I've decided to post a few highlights featuring the more easily recognizable guests.

Here goes:





First of all, it was hard to pick a venue for such an exclusive event. We were gonna go with The Sprint Center and put a giant handle on the place to make it really look like a wok but it was too expensive so I think it might just make the party here in my mom's basement as usual. Natch.



LARRY JOHNSON WILL BE AT THE TKC COSTUME PARTY!!! He's going as Beyonce for reasons that should be obvious to anyone who knows even a bit about his life.



Also, I suggested that Royals Pitcher Zack Greinke show up as a white knight but that idea might be too obvious. Instead, he's just going to dress as himself: A pitcher on a mediocre team pretending to top MLB player.

A few newsies are going to take a break from the daily grind and hang out with TKC.



Micheal Mahoney just might grow back the 'stache for this special night.



Russ Ptacek probably will attend the party dressed as Anderson Cooper.



I'm just not sure anybody will be able to tell the difference.



I'm counting Chris Stigall to let it all hang out at the TKC Costume bash.



The Lead News Lady from The Pitch C.J. Janovy will be dressed as MaGyver despite the fact that she's not really that resourceful or nice.



Joe Miller is working on some fiction writing for a change and he's already frightened us all with his stories of the current Mayoral administration so I thought a Stephen King disguise for him would be appropriate.



And yes, I'm going to be the bigger man and invite Mike "Miserable Hack" Hendricks to my party along with all the other Star newsies still on the payroll (for now). I hear they're all planning to show up as human targets considering the upcoming and endless round of layoffs as The Star circles the drain of newspaper history.



Star columnist Jenne Osterheldt is once again going to adorn herself in her deer costume.



I'm just hoping that JoCo Deer Hunt Protester Jason Miller isn't going to go too crazy and try to save her with a ridiculous PR stunt.



To top it all off, Clay Chastian could make another special trip back to Kansas City in order to attend the TKC costume party as Jim Jones which would make his light rail plans that include a Ferris Wheel seem perfectly reasonable by contrast.

Kansas City Politicos always show up to the TKC Halloween Costume party!!!



I suggested that Mike Sanders right-hand-man Calvin "Creampuff" Williford show up as some kind of pastry but I hear he does a pretty good Rerun impersonation which includes spouting COMBAT Tax talking points to minority communities written by his boss.



I simply have no idea how Council Lady Marcason is going to make her "Sewer Jan" costume work but it'll be the most effort she has put into Kansas City water infrastructure this year.

As always, Mayor Funky supports TKC and I hear he's going to give up his usual costume:





Tonight he'll finally let the world get a glimpse of him as FunkSchnauzer to show his continued solidarity with lame and losing Sunnyside Dog Park People.



Gloria Squitiro hasn't been going out as much lately so I think her Bigfoot costume is appropriate for several reasons that don't just apply to her huge dogs.



Finally, all the dudes running for Mayor are going to show up as Star Wars Storm Troopers because at this point they're laying low and don't want to really make waves to distinguish themselves . . . Give them time.

It should be a good time . . . And of course, most of the d-bags who read TKC aren't invited.