Patriots should make sober suckers drive during 4th of July Weekend boozefest

I have no friends, I drink alone in my mom's basement while crying and I stopped caring about fireworks when I was 8 years-old so none of this concerns me . . . However, sharing information is one of the most American actives in existence . . . So before the good times start (Today at 3 p.m.) I think it's worth noting that, like it or not, the po-po will be out in force putting the streets on lockdown and looking to bust drunk drivers. So patriotic celebrants marking this nation's Independence by getting puke drunk would do well to make somebody else drive.