TKC Public Service: How to find a missing emo/goth kid, if you had to . . .

A story of the search for missing, depressed teens who took off after leaving a suicide note isn't funny . . . But after I read it and stopped laughing, I decided that I could help.

It's all about giving back.

So, here it is:

TKC'S GUIDE TO SEARCHING FOR MISSING EMO/GOTH KIDS IF YOU MUST:

1. Have you checked Hot Topic?

2. Listen for pop sounding music with horribly depressing lyrics. Remember that there can be only one Morrissey.

3. If it's sunny outside, realize that they couldn't have made it too far.

4. Look again at Hot Topic.

5. Abandon all hope, sit around and pout, wear a lot of black clothing and only then will a place for an emo/goth kid to go in your area will come to mind.

If none of these options work . . . Giving up is certainly an option as any emo/goth kid will attest . . . And no, there is no difference between Emo or Goth no matter what that South Park episode claims.

And none of this is as important as Petra Nemcova pretending to be depressed, but still hot . . . A sure sign that she has nothing to do with either faction of suburban, white privilege angst.

TKC Diversity note: Yes, I know there are Mexican goths (Moths?), don't remind me.