TKC and the Co-Mayors

Today, good people of Kansas City . . . I ran afoul of the Co-Mayors of Kansas City because I had the temerity to question their crappy record regarding crime in one of the most bloody months in Kansas City history.

See my adventures for yourself!!!

It was possibly the most hilarious morning I've had since college WITH video evidence.

Still, I can't help but think that two Co-Mayors of Kansas City getting so mad at a dude blogging from a basement might signal that the "Orange Revolution" is in trouble.

That's why, to close out this week worth of posting I'm proud to provide this wonderful photo of Denise Milani wearing orange on a beach in front of a sunset.



Thank you for reading. Have a safe and fun weekend.

Hooray!!! Meaningless press conference by Kansas City's Mayor Funkhouser highlighting his failure to fight crime!!!

Today, Mayor Funky is putting on a press conference (in lieu of any real leadership) regarding the local murder rate.

Coming into office crime didn't even rank in the Mayor's top five priorities.

At the beginning of last year there was gang war that went unmentioned by Mayor Funky.

The Mayor's anti-gun work went over like a lead balloon a couple of weeks ago.

This effort seems equally reactive and without much merit. A local reporter told TKC that the press conference was planned to avoid any tough questions from journalists who usually take off for the weekend.

Once again we have a Mayor that is more concerned about how he looks on TV than actually doing anything substantial to work with the community and fight violent crime.

Surf these Saturday Kansas City links

Here's what I'm reading this Saturday Morning:

At least one instance of suburban injustice is corrected, now if we could only get something done about racial profiling: A metro man wrongly accused of child molestation won a $14-million jury award Friday morning.

Things are getting worse in the Golden Ghetto: An Overland Park, Kan., energy company is considering layoffs after the closure of a bank where it had $2 million deposited.

Locked up for life: No Death Penalty In Precious Doe Killing

Celebrate a pittance: Missouri workers who make minimum wage may be getting two pay raises in the next year.

Germ-y Grade School: Turner Elementary was thoroughly cleaned this week after a school district employee was diagnosed with the staph infection commonly known as MRSA.

Don't be jealous: KC Woman Wins $2.45M In Missouri Lotto

SCARY LATE NIGHT STANDOFF: Kansas City Police are in a standoff with a Springfield homicide suspect who is considered armed and dangerous.

And because it's Saturday: Check out these bikini photos of Charlize Theron.

Tragic KCK Headshot

A 19-year-old girl is shot in the head and killed at a Kansas City, Kan., home.

Katrina survivors give back something more than increased crime to Kansas City!!!

Kathryn Shields stays winning!!! Her friends and associates: Not so much.

A man accused of conspiring to sell former Jackson County Executive Katheryn Shields' home at an inflated price will spend five years in federal prison. Apparently, not all of us can claim "Democrat Persecution" . . . Although, I'm pretty sure that being raped in prison in much worse . . . Luckily, a great many active Democrats can compare notes.

Thankfully, bomb threat at KCPD Headquarters was a dud

Shortly after 9 p.m. KCMO Police got a call from a man who said a bomb was in the police headquarters at 1125 Locust. Police searched the building for any type of explosive for two hours. There was no evacuation. Police found nothing.

Kansas City's Hip-hop Summit

Great Hollapalooza photos from Present Magazine.

You people (bloggers) and your Palin posts make me want to puke

Some white broad may be Vice President.

Probably not.

This isn't ground breaking. It happened when I was a kid.

Yet, because so many Kansas City bloggers don't know what's going on in their own backyard, the stuff that they see on cable news becomes a big deal.

I must have skimmed 20 posts that were mostly worthless regarding the possible lady VP. The ones I have linked on this blog were the few that had a unique take on the subject that readers won't find anywhere else.

And then there's all the spin from both sides . . . She's big oil, she's your new feminist hero (ugh) . . .

SADLY, FEW (IF ANY) OF KANSAS CITY'S MOST POPULAR INDEPENDENT BLOGGERS HAD ANYTHING TO WRITE ABOUT THE SPATE OF MURDERS IN KANSAS CITY!!!

Pathetic.

On the bright side, it proves my point that most people aren't interested in politics, they're simply reacting to TV programming.

Still, after seeing all of these insights that weren't much better that what TV talking heads come up with . . . I have to ask.

What difference will this broad make in your life?

Is she going to fix KC sewers?

Reduce crime?

Make you taller or whiten your teeth?

At this point the lady is nothing more than a face on TV (just like Obama) yet she has inspired so many local lemmings to share their insights that will soon be proven wrong.

Apparently, Democracy nothing more than a TV show . . . With ratings that are almost as good as LOST when election time comes around.

Blogging the same cup of soup = Best way to kill this new outlet for free expression.

Staying true to his section of town

RDM points out that Mayor Funky is only concerned with Infrastructure among his most loyal constituents.

The bars of backwater Missouri

It's nice to see this post from Scooter J with a lot of great pics of rural Missouri bars . . . It's the closest I'll ever get to these places given that I don't want to be deported.

Probably couldn't care less about Palin

But KC blogger eff bombs has a great take: "This is going to be awesomely hilarious." Actually, this post from General Blather is probably the best KC blogger reaction or at least the best title: "Vagina-in-Chief"

Emaw's Tina Fey Comparison was apt as well.

Kansas City Saturday Stroll

Today will be a leisurely day of posting . . . Sometimes it's hard to follow-up a week of Mayoral screw-ups, murder and the continued decline of this town into something resembling a much more violent Des Moines.

Like most other Mexicans, I have a few lawns to deal with today so I don't know how much I'll get to blog in the morning . . . Enjoy this photo gallery of Brit Model Katie Down in the meantime, d-bags.

THE LAST DAYS OF SUMMER BRING DEATH TO KANSAS CITY!!!

When Mayor Funkhouser was running for Mayor, TKC accurately noted that he was weak on crime.

Currently, the Mayor's neglect, ineptitude and incompetence is costing people their lives.

Crime Scene KC provides the best, first and most accurate information on the deadly trend:

KCPD's homicide count is high and rising

As of Thursday, the city had logged 19 homicides in August, the first time that has happened since December 1998. And the month is not finished.

This month’s surge has inched the year’s total of 81 past the 79 recorded by the same date in 2005, which was the city’s most violent year for homicides this decade.

It only gets worse given that the recent spate of homicides makes August Kansas City's most deadly month in a decade.

At the beginning of the Summer, everyone knew this would happen. Sadly, the only action Mayor Funky was able to take was a silly press conference that accomplished nothing but an effort (still not signed) to hassle small gun shop owners in a controversial pact with New York Mayor Bloomberg. The Mayor claimed that his lack of progress was to assure that he wasn't acting in a unilateral fashion . . . Yet, he showed to his worthless PR effort with only one council person offering support.

The Mayor's poor reputation and record on crime would be laughable if it didn't result in so many dead bodies on Kansas City streets. This town needs a Mayor who makes fighting crime a real priority and the shameful record of the current administration speaks for itself. When Mayor Funky won the election by a razor this margin, this town lost any hope in making progress in the effort to make city streets safe. In all fairness, there probably wasn't much hope of fighting crime from a Mayor who can't even control his own wife.

TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! CHAOS AT CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL!!! CONTINUED KANSAS CITY SCHOOL DISTRICT FAILURE!!!

I'll make this quick and to the point because we all know that the Kansas City School District is a disgrace.

ALREADY 4 DAYS INTO THE SCHOOL YEAR AND CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL IN KANSAS CITY HAS YET TO ISSUE TEXTBOOKS!!!

There are tons of rumors floating around about the incompetence of Administrators. My favorite tale of woe claims that the district stored some books at Van Horn even though they knew it was soon to cede to Independence. Now teachers are without resources . . . Unlike lawyers who were quickly dispatched to fight people trying to escape KC Schools.

The chaos doesn't stop there and I'm also hearing the usual tales of wrongly assigned classes, a bit of violence in the opening of the school year and plenty more proof of conflict already floating around the Internets.

However, let's not forget that Mayor's Education Summit (which has taken more than a year of planning) is supposed to fix all of this (even if he only has one council person "thinking" about supporting him).

Meanwhile, Kansas City Schools continue to crumble and descend into chaos.

Out of the shadows: Lack of respect for media and constituents by the Funkhouser Administration becomes clear!!!

Tom Bogdon knows pretty much everyone in Kansas City. He's politically active, he's a reporter at times and his list of contacts in this city is one of the most coveted items among local journalists.

When I heard that he was ignored by Mayor Funky's people . . . I had to laugh at their arrogance or maybe just ignorance of a KC institution.

But it got worse.

Bogdon went public with his complaints and a jerky response from one of the Mayor's people (Crispin) just digs the hole deeper (heh) . . .

Mr. Bogdon:

I was surprised to see my name mentioned on your blog. Although you are frustrated, you are wrong in mentioning me as giving you the "run around." This last week I was out of the office tending to a personal matter and received one call from you. In that single call, you asked that I locate Kendrick Blackwood--you mentioned nothing about water bottles. You are incorrect in claiming that I ignored you regarding an issue you failed to ask me to address. I understand you are frustrated. However, I ask that next time you take your frustrations public, you do so in a fair and accurate manner.

Crispin Rea

Think about that for a second. The Mayor's office is sending some young dude in his early 20's, just out of college, off to do battle with a guy who can call just about any politico in the State and get a sit down. Really, that's the way the want handle this one?!?!?!

READ THE REST OF THE STORY AT THE KC TRIBUNE.COM

Now more than ever, I'm just convinced that the Mayor and his people don't know what they're doing and I almost feel bad for the young Latino dude . . . Ahem, that is I might have felt sorry for the guy IF there wasn't a persistent rumor floating around City Hall that he banged the Mayor's daughter. Lucky bastard . . So what he looks good in a suit? No homo!!!

But all that funny business aside, this is yet another example that the Mayor's Office doesn't know how to treat people . . . Influential or otherwise, the Mayor has created a disconnect with Kansas City and instead of recognizing this mistake they respond only with Funkhouser's characteristic stubborness and arrogance.

Fact: Kansas City Light Rail doesn't care about Black people

There was a lot of great commentary in the local blogopshere yesterday about Cordish concerns regarding light rail. I couldn't help but agree with most of the outrage.

Sadly, one blog stood out for it's stupidity regarding the subject.

Here's the money quote from a hopelessly clueless concern that is run by annony bloggers:

"Are you ready for a Cordish boycott?"

That statement kind of puts things in perspective doesn't it? Light Rail advocates don't really care about widespread discrimination at the place but they get their panties in a bunch over any objection to a multi-billion dollar project.

TKC doesn't want to boycott the P&L District . . . I'd just like it if they started letting minorities in . . .

Nevertheless, I just thought that I'd point to one of the many occasions when a "serious" Kansas City blog ends up looking foolish for filing a post that's overly emotional, destructive and not in the best interest of anyone in this town . . . Very much like anonymous political groups and influence peddlers using the Internets to feign support.

At the very least, TKC claims all of my stupid opinions and jokes.

An explanation of the Recording Industry's failure invokes Kansas City and why big name musicians can't stand playing here

This informative tidbit from Gawker not only reveals that the Internets is killing music but also explains why there isn't any decent act from this decade playing at The Sprint Center:

Irving Azoff, the manager of numerous high-profile acts including the Eagles, says that a few years ago he presented the band with a financial analysis showing that their royalties to date from iTunes sales were far lower than anyone expected.

Guitarist Glenn Frey did some back-of-the-envelope math of his own. "His comment was that it amounted to 39 minutes on stage in Kansas City," Mr. Azoff recalls with a chuckle.

Ha, and you know they don't pay much in Kansas City! Now there's a budding backlash, as some record labels look for ways to return to the days of selling entire albums, which are much more lucrative than those singles that iTunes mandates.

I've always known that big name bands in their prime hate playing Kansas City but it's interesting to learn why . . . MONEY or lack thereof is the reason the Sprint Center is worse than a collection of music from Time-Life!!!

(TKC NOTE: Jewel was only included in this post because of her boobs and not her musical stylings regarding breakfast.)

What does this small market sound like? Garth Brooks coming out of retirement on day 14 only able to register a whisper.

Here's what JoCo Ho business looks like!!!

A couple in JoCo was recently taken into custody on postitution charges . . . Here is the story of their arrest:

Undercover officers staked out a room on the second floor of the Settle Inn hotel at West 107th Street and Roe Avenue, police said.

Officers arrested two people, and they were booked into the Johnson County jail on Tuesday, according to the Johnson County Sheriff's Office booking log online.

Prosecutors later charged Jennifer T. Russell, 20, of Andover, Kan., with prostitution and Quincy D. Gholar, 33, of Overland Park, with promoting prostitution

Of course, these two are innocent until proven guilty but it got me thinking that I don't see very many interracial relationships in the media very often . . . In fact, this is the first one I can recall in quite awhile. I wonder if the disparity due to negative stereotypes or part of their cause. In any event, the non-racial aspect of this story is that (rumor has it) most JoCo hotels are crawling with hookers.

Wanna buy a crappy car dealership? Chad Franklin calls it quits!!!

Accused Car Dealer Puts Business Up For Sale

Ya know, the demise of the Dead Tree media starts with community news

Raytown Tribune Suspends Publication

Bodies Revealed in Kansas City confirmed as nothing more than grave robbing!!!

Recently, finally, The Star decided to report that an important form related to the cadavers for the Bodies Revealed exhibit was not signed by Chinese donors, according to Union Station.

Now that the exhibit is pretty much over AND it has proven to be an unprofitable flop that won't help to the financially strapped Union Station this year it's nice to see that this town's paper of record FINALLY followed up on information that was REVEALED IN THE KC BLOGOSPHERE EARLIER THIS MONTH!!!

The Catholic Key Blog pretty much broke this story and provided important proof that there was very little evidence of consent in this exhibit and the entire carnival act was suspect.

Thankfully, the residents of Kansas City made their disapproval of this exhibit known with their feet and stayed away from the creepshow en masse.

I understand the morbid curiosity of people who did attend but what needs to be addressed now is the complete repugnance of those who defended the shaky ethics of this exhibit. There were a few pundits who came out in favor of the exhibit who didn't really care much about the dead Chinese people displayed with no proof of consent or the families who might want to know the fate of their loved ones. Clearly, these dirtbags didn't have much influence and their lack of any sense of morality can be ignored.

However, there are people in this town who should shoulder some responsibility.

UNION STATION CEO ANDI UDRIS NEEDS TO BE FIRED FOR HIS GAMBLE ON UNSIGNED CHINESE RECORDS AND A CYNICAL HOPE THAT MORBID CURIOSITY WOULD BENEFIT A KANSAS CITY DINOSAUR!!!

In retrospect, his decision to bring Bodies Revealed to Kansas City was completely wrong and lost the place a lot of goodwill . . . The damage to the reputation of Union Station will persist until someone is held accountable . . . Nope, that's not a request for a human sacrifice like those put on display by the disgusting show but just hoping someone in this town at least apologizes for making a Kansas City landmark home to grave robbers.

SUPREMACY ON KANSAS CITY STREETS

A local lady writes to The Star and notes that sidewalks on Meyer Boulevard in Brookside were replaced this spring even though she thought they were in fine shape.

The answer the reporter finds was bunk but I liked his joke which downplayed the whole concern at the end of the short article, so it's still worth reading.

Oh, and good luck to those of you still waiting for infrastructure repair via the "Orange Revolution."

These morning links are for you Kansas City

That title doesn't really make any sense (again) but I just wanted an excuse to post a photo of Jessica Simpson looking dumb and busty.

There was more than enough Kool-Aid at this party: Local Obama Supporters React To Historic Speech

It's worth noting that authorities credited community involvement in this one: Arrest Made In Slaying Of KC Bank Guard

Rainy Night and Meaningless victory: Kansas City earned a 21-17 victory over the Rams on Thursday night.

This town gets even more famous for death and BBQ: Arthur Bryant's Makes Yahoo's 10 Places to Eat Before You Die

At least Kansas City kicks ass when it comes to Fantasy football

Now even more options for municipalities looking to waste money: HOK Sport Venue Event splits from parent

Show Me how money makes your vote virtually meaningless: Campaign contribution limits repealed in Missouri

KC Crooks: Kansas City, Mo., police arrest five men after an armed robbery.

Allegation: Kansas City Police beat down a developmentally challenged young man!!!

From MyFox KC: A former teacher says a 19-year-old who police said attacked officers and started a brawl at Kansas City Police Headquarters should never have been there. Willis Cole, Jr's former teacher says he suffers from a form of autism and it's sad what happened after Willis and his father came to KCPD headquarters.

A talk with the rube who was almost seriously beaten by a millionaire athlete

MyFox KC has an interview with the fan at Heart of Guillen Heckling Controversy . . . This guy must have so many mixed feelings. If Guillen would have got to him, it would have been like winning the lottery BUT he would have needed a wheelchair. Instead he gets only a bit of noteriety for being a jerk . . . Sounds like a typical Kansas City Compromise.

Cringe with jealousy Kansas City, there's one more blogger/author!!!

TKC would like to congratulate Filegirl on her recent contribution. Humble lady that she is, she downplays her efforts:

Now I’m a contributor in a book - Sarah’s book! Obviously I didn’t get paid for any of these, but it’s fun and exciting each time you see your name out there, right? Cringe: Teenage Diaries, Journals, Notes, Letters, Poems, And Abandoned Rock Operas is packed full of pictures, scans of old journals, little notes of explanation from contributors, and the talented writing and tying it all together of Sarah Brown.

It's great to see Kansas City bloggers making the transition to books and this effort looks pretty interesting. Check out Filegirl's post for more details.

A pittance for an employee who took a bullet

O'Reilly Auto Parts Offers an Increased Reward In Worker's Slaying, information in the shooting death of a Raytown father and former employee is now up to $3,500. Note: I've heard that in complicated cases like this one there's not a hope of getting a tip for anything less than 20k.

The Golden Ghetto stays winning because they scrutinize their silly public subsidies

Johnson County's 1 percent for art program continues for now

A NEW HIPSTER HANGOUT!!!

Hey, it's not all gloom and doom around here . . . Drunken Downtown Hipsters have something to celebrate recently because there's going to be another hipster bar pretending to be a neighborhood place for Downtown interlopers who don't yet want to return to their crappy home life. The KC Guy reports: "It looks like the space on Broadway previously occupied by Jilly's will re-open this fall as CODA." This is a grand occasion that hopefully should last for more than 14 months . . . But probably not.

One more Kansas City Sellout

So many of my fellow bloggers seemed to be concerned about Arrowhead selling the naming rights to a place that hasn't seen a playoff victory in a decade.

I don't really understand the shock. The perk was part of their sweetheart deal paid for by the broke-ass people of Jackson County.

However . . .

TKC IS PROUD TO EXCLUSIVELY REVEAL THE NEW NAME OF THE STADIUM!!!

Sadly, I don't think the move makes much financial sense because JoCo isn't paying a thing for it . . . Like all of the other "attractions" that are STILL sinking this town into financial ruin.

"Hey asshole, we're sorry"

Slattery campaign apologizes for profanity in e-mail

KC didn't care about this Double Murder

This headline was from yesterday, it went largely ignored because more people were interested in a memo some downtown KC company wrote about light rail: Pregnant Woman & Teenager Shot to Death

"Is that what's hot in the streets these days, tiptoeing around Whitey?"

Bol has the best blog post I've read in awhile regarding the state of hip-hop and the abundance of dumbass political rapping that started when hipsters we're way too impressed with Kanye West. Also, I'm surprised that I really enjoyed the "Kill Bill O'Reilly" video given how much I despise white rappers and death threats.

Emily Scott to start the Kansas City Morning

I don't know how many posts there will be this morning but I do have some good stuff in store . . . Not so sadly, there is some real world work to be done and I also need some coffee if TKC Tipsters and I are going to keep kicking the ass of the mainstream media and showing all of Kansas City that the citizenry should/must/will have a say in the coverage of their town through that awesomeness of the Internets.

Yes, yes that's a lofty goal but as long as we're accomplishing it with pilfered photos of Emily Scott in a bikini online . . . That should keep it real.

Stay tuned.

CampKC features Obama Underwear!!!

There's no need to watch all of the boring Democrat convention.

Go to your local news stand and pick up the latest copy of CampKC.

As always, there's a lot of great information about the local LGBT community . . . But as an added bonus, there's an interesting cover story on Andrew Christian, a celebrity underwear/active wear designer. His merchandise is sold locally at Zinfandel by Milo (formerly pecs n glutes) on Westport Road.

The feature provides a bunch of great information and even more pics . . . And I just thought the photo featured above was a good primer (heh) for yet another historic Obama speech, even though I'm probably not gonna watch it. Kidding, of course I'm gonna watch it but I want to vote for a Black person AND a woman AND a third party for even more "change" so I'm probably gonna be casting my ballot for Cynthia McKinney.

More KC School Failure Coming up

A kickass tipster recently sent some information my way about the KC Schools . . . It's way too important to post at night but I did want to provide a bit of a preview . . . Really, the details are something you're going to want to see and another sign that the new school year has changed NOTHING in KC Schools.

The embarrasing decline continues.

TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! ACLU PLANS WHITE T-SHIRT PROTEST AGAINST KANSAS CITY'S POWER & LIGHT DISTRICT!!!

Wear your white-T . . . No word on baggy jeans:

What: The WHITE T-SHIRT protest.
When: 5-7 pm Sat. Aug. 30, 2008
Plan: Meet at the ACLU office (3601 Main St. KC Mo 64111) at 4pm to pick up signs and instructions.

In response to the growing concerns about Racial Profiling in the Power and Light District, the ACLU will be marching and picketing from the Sprint Center to the Power and Light District. Participants are asked to wear a white T shirt to the march. Each marcher will be asked to write a message to Cordish and the City Council on their T shirts.

For example: "The City Council gave Cordish $300 million dollars in tax breaks and all I got was this lousy T shirt."

The march will serve several purposes.

1. Inform the public about the specifics of the dress code.

2. Remind Cordish and the city council/mayor about their responsibilities to all the citizens of Kansas City. Millions of dollars in tax breaks have been given to the Cordish Company. Discrimination and tax breaks are incompatible. A race neutral dress code is required.

3. Invite the city council and Cordish developers to attend a Town Hall meeting to discuss the issue.

Personally, I couldn't agree more with the protest and it's a great opportunity to stand up to the discriminatory policies of the Power & White District.

The fact is, that even the P&L District pretty much admits that the enforcement of the dress code is along racial lines.

And for every silly anecdote that white people have about not being let into the P&L District . . . There are dozens more people of color who were denied access, in my opinion, because their skin color didn't match the arbitrarily enforced dress code.

From what I've heard . . .

NO MATTER WHAT CLOTHES THEY'RE WEARING . . . THE P&L DISTRICT DOESN'T LET IN GROUPS OF MINORITIES WITH MORE THAN 5 PEOPLE!!!

The rumors circulating in the local Latino Community claim that one family after the next has been denied access with the undefined dress code used as nothing more than a pretext for discrimination.

And it's not like the people I know haven't faced discrimination before . . . Businesses aren't allowed to discriminate along racial lines anymore but they do. That's not the greatest sin of the P&L District.

THE UNACCEPTABLE PART OF DE FACTO P&L DRESS CODE RACIAL DISCRIMINATION IS THAT IT USES TAXPAYER FUNDS TO TURN MINORITIES AWAY!!!

People of color in Kansas City are literally paying taxes in order to finance the bonds needed to build the place and then they're denied access to the District . . . So this isn't big business vs. activists . . . It's the beneficiaries of corporate welfare playing games with Kansas City's cash.

This protest is long overdue.

TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! An ugly fact: Mayor Funky lied to all of Kansas City about his Missouri Ethics Commission fine!!!

Recently, quite a few of awesome TKC readers and tipsters have asked about the Mayor's desperate spin on a fine he received from the Missouri Ethics Commission.

There are some clueless yet ardent supporters of Mayor Funky who are actually trying to spin this slap in the face as an exoneration or even a victory. Sadly, that's how far the Mayor Funky's tenure has sunk: Avoiding jail time is seen as a big win.

Just the other day, a clueless quote from a Mayoral press release provided even more proof that Kansas City's Mayor has lost his grip on reality:

“I'm pleased that their investigation confirmed no misuse of funds. As a result of a minor technical issue, I have agreed to pay the Commission a small fee to essentially cover its expenses” said Mayor Funkhouser. Mayor Funkhouser will pay the $1,000 reimbursement of fees personally.

But make no mistake . . .

KANSAS CITY'S MAYOR PAID A FINE FOR THE MISDEEDS OF HIS ADMINISTRATION, NOT A FEE!!!

While I think my writing as an observer of City Hall politics should be good enough . . . TKC also has support for my contention that the Mayor was fined from the mainstream media. The money that the Mayor must pay is noted by almost everyone but columnist Yael Abouhalkah as a fine and not a fee. Check it:

Topeka Capital-Journal: Ethics commission fines KC mayor $1,000

Fort Mill Times: Mo. ethics commission fines KC mayor $1,000

My Fox Kansas City: Funkhouser Fined Over Campaign Violation

KMBZ: Ethics Commission Fines Mayor Funkhouser

The Mayor's misrepresentation of the finding of The Missouri Ethics Commission proves that he's not only a crook but also a liar!!!

These phony attempts at spin by hacks who couldn't even cut it at an alt-weekly are an insult to the two dozen frequent voters in Kansas City Proper. For more than a year the Mayor bragged about his principles and the fact that he supposedly wasn't a politician. Now he has been caught and fined for funny business with his campaign finances AND THEN IMMEDIATELY CAUGHT IN ANOTHER LIE BY TKC!!!

I'm tempted to blame the Mayor's misleading comments on his now infamous arrogance and stubborness . . . After all, perception is reality and the Mayor has shown himself to be exceptionally myopic. However, Mayor Mark Funkhouser has continually demonstrated a lack of integrity whether it's in the form of broken promises to his constituents or more serious violations of ethical codes which apply to his office . . . Therefore this ugly lie that he tried to pass off on the residents of this town isn't just opinion of a shell shocked politician but instead represents a willful manipulation of facts that pertain to his record as Kansas City's Mayor.

2 Scoops of Kansas City Morning Links

The Last Remaining White Parent in the Kansas City School District are pissed off: Parents Grade KC School Board

HARSH TIMES IN THIS TOWN GETTING WORSE: KC unemployment up to 6.1 percent in July

OP Girl Stuck In Battle Zone Returns Home

Summer isn't over yet: 2 Killed In Shooting At 9th, Indiana

Even more Golden Ghetto Disparity: Thief stole $500K from a daycare, gets probation

PRAIRIE VILLAGE, KANSAS CRACKHEAD BRINGS A CHILD TO A DRUG BUY!!!

Upcoming on the air with Kraske . . . Mayor Funky and yet another defense of his wife

Small time crooks want the scraps of mortgage companies: Thieves Target Forclosed Home

Justice for young KC Dad who was killed: "Brother Wants Justice In Man's Slaying"

Actually, this article is pretty great: Kansas City Irish Festival’s popularity pushes it into new territory

The footage of the KC Police Headquarters brawl!!! Who you blame depends mostly on your race!!!

The Star takes Kansas City blogs seriously!!!

The local blogosphere has influenced elections, been first to report important stories, provided a free expression platform that is simply unparalleled since the days of the pamphleteers but today the local paper decided to give a bit of coverage to bloggers who objected to a frog cartoon and the new design of the ATA mascot.

It’s the bus stop illustration with the cracked sidewalk that’s been the buzz on the Internet, where bloggers have labeled the frog as lazy, homeless and drugged, among other things.

Put him at a bus stop with a busted sidewalk and it sends the wrong message about Kansas City transit, they say.

The city already has an image problem with transit, said David Johnson, who criticized the character on his blog kclightrail.com. “This picture didn’t really try to improve on that image.”

Other bloggers have been more blunt.

“What about a stoned frog waiting for a bus says you too should ride the Metro?” one blogger wrote at kcrag.com.

“The street is crumbling, the bus sign is bent. His only friend appears to be a pigeon, and the bus is nowhere to be seen.”

First of all, it's funny that the article got the address of the KC Rag Forum wrong. Secondly, this story is more than two weeks old. Finally, who cares?

Every day, Kansas City bloggers are contributing to this town's discourse in unique, amazing and unprecedented ways but The Star is highlighting only chatter related to a cartoon.

The failure of this floundering corporation to understand the digital revolution that is impacting media is part of the reason they keep having to fire people . . . Maybe, just maybe, if blogs weren't regarded as the enemy The Star could adapt to changes that are currently taking place in the media landscape rather than seemingly being content to have this town's daily paper go the way of the dodo.

Downtown Kansas City is now run by huge corporations who don't like people of color or Light Rail!!!

Today, The Star reports that Cordish and The Sprint Center oppose light rail on Grand Boulevard

Cordish, owner of the Power & Light District, is strongly opposed to a possible light-rail route through or near the entertainment district — either on Grand, Walnut, Main or Baltimore. Company officials in recent weeks have complained in private meetings with transit and city planners and in a letter to Mayor Mark Funkhouser . . .

While Sprint Center officials are not as upset as Cordish, they are concerned about light rail’s effect on its operations. Specifically, they are concerned about access to loading docks and the safety of arena patrons when lines for events spill onto Grand.

For the record . . . Here are a few more things these two groups oppose:

The Sprint Center opposes Kansas City's anti-billboard ordinance and doesn't abide by it.

Of course, it's a well documented fact that the P&L District doesn't like minorities, their culture or basically anybody who doesn't live in JoCo.

And through discriminatory pricing (i.e. $9 beer) neither one of these places really cares for po'folk or any member of this community who can't afford to drop $150 on a whim.

I'm not a big fan of light rail but I think it needs to be pointed out that Downtown Kansas City no longer belongs to residents or local politicos. Cordish and AEG run their little serfdoms and apparently they answer to no one.

UPDATE!!! CHECK OUT THIS MUST READ MISSIVE ON THE SUBJECT FROM THE KANSAS CITY POST!!! " Cordish stance on light rail: Allow me to retort"

Three Kansas City murders in one night!!!

Overnight violence in KC claims third life . . . Meanwhile it took Mayor Funkhouser more than 10 months to even think about joining "Mayor's Against Illegal Guns" which is more of a scheme to hassle gun owners and hasn't help to reduce the homicide rate one bit.

Kansas City Cries for Jimmie the Chimp

KMBC reported earlier that a popular chimpanzee at the Kansas City Zoo has died. Jimmie was 41 years old and was being treated for heart disease.

Here's some Youtube footage of Jimmie in action . . . The monkey sired 19 other chimps and seems to be beloved and mourned by all of Kansas City today . . . Which means that if I was hit by a truck today this damned dirty ape would have accomplished more than TKC . . . Even though I think I've flung an equal amount of poo.

Kathleen Sebelius Embarrasses all of Kansas

Unless there is nudity involved . . . There is nothing worse than watching an old, white woman dance.

Via Kansas Watch

Note: Fast forward to :30 to avoid the WSJ dork and his bad hair day/reporter arrogance because of the expert operating of a consumer video camera . . . Yeah, there's enough salt to throw everywhere.

Blogger Backtalk: Convention Chatter

Let's just assume I disagree with everyone . . . But I still want to read what they're writing:

James (author of the kickass Kansas Citian blog) and 3 other white guys had a great conversation about the prospect of NFL pre-season football ruining the Democrats good time . . . I guess this is the alternative to the hope the the rain would wash them out. And yes, some people are THAT scared of a Black President.

Jay Bird: "President Clinton's speech tonight reminded me of how good things were when he was our President."

J-dub: The Democratic National Convention is getting better every day. Tonight, the Clintons restored their legacy.

Kansas Watch: "A Sign That the Obama/Bill Clinton Rift Might Be Healed"

Kansas City Democrat Leader Steve Bough has gone completely insane

Steve Bough is the new(ish) chair of Jackson County Democratic Committee and apparently his recent apperance at the Democrat National Convention has caused him to go completely insane.

I've never seen such enthusiastic splogging for a cause or concern and the conclusions that he has drawn would give pause to even the most liberal, lesbo pundit.



Here are just a few of the recent blog posts he's been filing that I'm offering up as proof of his head trip in desperate hope of "change" :

Hillary is Amazing

The Carnahans Rock

"Joe Biden got tears in his eyes talking about his family. Heck, I got tears in my eyes."

Seriously, the emotive, unbalanced, unthinking response from Bough to a PR festival that was essentially meaningless and only serves to relay information that was confirmed 2 months ago is almost scary. The dude isn't just drinking the Kool-Aid . . . He's OD-ing on it.

This kind of unabashed celebrity worship of politicos is probably one of the top 5 reasons that most people avoid voting altogether in Kansas City. Democrat or Republican these people aren't heroes . . . They're more like plumbers involved in a subterranean world of poop slinging disguised as progress which works most of the time but is basically part of a crappy system that most people don't care to understand.

Another bad idea from Ashton Kutcher coming to Kansas City

I don't give a damn about Ashton Kutcher's Midwestern roots. The guy seems like a douche.

First of all, being Punk'd is not some stupid practical joke but I always heard that was the term used to describe prison rape the first time around.

Secondly, I believe Kutcher is the dork who started the whole Cougar phenomenon which was fine when the trend was focused on the MILF aspect of banging easy older broads but the prospect of old ladies expecting a commitment ANYONE after they reach a certain age is unfair to both genders.

Now another pointless game/reality show which is produced by the former "That 70's Show" Star is set to descend on this town and exploit more Kansas City area residents in a lame attempt to entertain people who would be better off reading a book.

A Kansas City Minute

The preceding video features man on the street interviews compiled by YouTube vloggers . . . Take a look at the "Crazy White People" and two more guest appearances that kinda make a viewer want to move to JoCo or at least resent dorks with video cams looking to capture the lowest common denominator in Kansas City.

It's important to be flexible

While I may repeat myself on the blog a great deal . . . In the real world I always try to take a new approach and surprise people from time to time. Only mediocre used car salesmen rely on the same tactic time after time.

So, while developing themes, running jokes and gags on this blog is fun . . . I wouldn't recommend the same strategy for anyone who wants to be decent human being.

Change, adapt, surprise and if that doesn't work . . . Women love it when you compliment their hair.

Anyhoo . . . Lots of good stuff coming up today, maybe, after this nap.

TKC Caption Contest Complete!!! Kansas City hates beggars and journalists!!!

A few hours ago, I asked, begged, pleaded for an online caption to a photo of Kansas City Star Gossip Columnist Hearne Christopher Jr. chatting with local beggar Cheeseburger Jerry.

TKC readers answered the call with great skill, wit, irony and a bit of hate . . . I was impressed. Here's the best of the best:

WINNER

Kansas City has Co-Mayors, I don't see why we can't have Co-Winners!!!

Plaza Jen:
"So, if I TAKE the voluntary severance from the Star, you think we can work out a schedule for this spot?"

Doug:
"let's hug it out bitch"

HONORABLE MENTION

Midtown Miscreant
"I'd gladly blow you Tuesday, for a hamburger today."

Gabriel . . .
Hearne: "Yea I feel you man, everyone thinks I'm useless too."

NKCAUmp
"GREATEST MINDS EVER HOLD SUMMIT ON WHICH IS BETTER, GINGER OR MARYANNE"

"Hearne, you're the only guy I know who makes more money doing less work than me."

"Sure, Hearne! I'll float ya a loan until you land back on your feet!"

barndarb:
"Jerry,I am not a Gossip Columnist! Say it one more time and I will take away everything you own."

Anonny:
Hearne: "Wait Jerry, this is really good stuff. So you were in a three-way sex thing with Craig Glazer and Viv Jennings?"
Jerry: "I didn't say that, I just want a buck, mutherfucka."
Hearne: "And then you did some blow under the 71 Highway viaduct with Clay Chastain and Gloria Squitiro?"
Jerry: "Youse puttin' words in my mouth, man..."
Hearne: "And then you wrestled in hot oil, nude, with Tanna Guthrie and Darcy Blake?"
Jerry: "I don't even know those bitches..."
Hearne: "And so, you're telling me that you did drag at Missie B's with Flo after you borrowed some clothes from Annabeth Surbaugh?"
Jerry: "Flo who?"
Hearne: "That's great stuff, man. I can use it for my column."
Jerry: "But I didn't say any of that stuff. I just want a buck for a cheeseburger!"
Hearne: "Sorry pal, I'm only carrying my American Express card today."
Jerry: "FUCK YOU!"

As always thank you for your participation . . . You guys crack me up. Please feel free to copy and use the photo on your own blog . . . (Please no hot linking) . . . This clash of Kansas City cultures was probably more important than any of the lies in the news today. THANK YOU again to the photog who sent this to TKC and provided a great glimpse of life in Kansas City to all the Internets.

Kansas City Evening Link Check

I'm saving the important stuff for tomorrow but here's what I'm reading right now:

Happy 88th Birthday to Walt Bodine!!!

Half naked white women getting harder to look at: Pools Closing in Overland Park

Here's what it looks like when Republicans try to be funny. Ugh.

6k for tips on who lit up Chad Franklin Suzuki

Security lines at Sprint Center reportedly/allegedly a big hassle.

Mayor Funky's supporters feel his lack of interest in local water infrastructure: Northland Water Main Break

This makes racial profiling that much nice and equitable: MO Highway Patrol names its first female trooper commander

Justice in just a few decades: A man convicted in the 1974 murder of a 13-year-old suburban Kansas City girl is sentenced to life in prison.

School Starts, it's time to lie to young people about the realities and myths regarding substance abuse i.e. pill popping suburbanites are junkies too: About 250 Johnson County teenagers took part in a youth leadership summit on Wednesday to fight underage drinking and drug abuse.

More people slated to get rich because you don't know anything about statistics: Speedway Pledges RV Rally If It Gets Casino

Kansas City Theater Chain hates children

Kansas City-based movie chain AMC will pay more than $140,000 and run public service announcements because of child labor violations.

Kansas City Backlash: "Wherein We Explain Our Opposition to Ink"

State of the line makes some solid points against Ink magazine. TKC on the other hand simply opposes female journalists with only 2 (maybe 3) exceptions.

"The Mayor Just Doesn't Get It"

In a great post, KC Blue Blog calls out the Mayor, says he's "out of touch with reality."

TKC CAPTION CONTEST! CULTURE CLASH IN KANSAS CITY! Hearne Christopher Jr. talks with Cheeseburger Jerry!!!

There is no doubt about it . . . TKC TIPSTERS KICK ASS!!!

Recently, the greatest photographer in the Midwest since Gordon Parks sent a CLASSIC KANSAS CITY PHOTO my way.

Pictured above is Kansas City Star Gossip Columnist Hearne Christopher Jr. chatting with local beggar Cheeseburger Jerry.

I'm very grateful that a somebody shared this image with me and I want to get the Internet denizens of Kansas City involved in naming this important bit of photography.

Of course, I'm going to release the unaltered photo at the end of this contest (which only lasts today) so that you can keep it for your collection because I think that's what the person who captured this image would have wanted . . . But in the meantime, I'm asking, begging, encouraging TKC readers to do their best job in either naming the photo or coming up with a caption.

The contest only lasts until the next update which should come this evening.

All entries, both anony and otherwise, are welcomed. The winner gets a HUGE LINK if they want.

Do your best, come up with a name or caption of two different Kansas City's captured in one fantastic photograph.

The real cost of the Mayor Funky's run in with the Missouri Ethics Commission

Mayor Funky was fined $1,000 by the Missouri Ethics Commission.

Here's what that payment will really cost him:

Mayor Funky is no longer the "white knight." He's just another politico with dirty hands.

He can't claim to be "smart with the money" because his campaign finance problems prove that neither he nor his people know what they're doing.

Mayor Mark Funkhouser now has a solid reputation as someone who is disloyal to political allies. In arranging this settlement with merely a fine, Kansas City's Mayor had to sell out quite a few people. The Mayor has consistently tossed people overboard in order to keep himself afloat. Those folks haven't forgotten . . . People in Kansas City keep track of every misdeed committed against them, perceived or otherwise . . . Kansas City believes in payback.

With the Mayor's ethics now in question . . . His "principles" are no longer something about which he can brag. A principled politician doesn't operate a "rag-tag" operation with other people's money.

An objective view of the Mayor's judgment found him lacking and deserving of rebuke and censure . . . $1,000 is a lot of money for "regular folks" and this cash taken out of the Mayor Funky's coffers is another clear sign that his ethics aren't in line with most residents of Kansas City.

Mayor Funky's supporters are attempting to downplay this major loss for the Mayor. It won't work and rarely do any political victories begin with a $1,000 fine paid because of sloppy campaign finances and an obvious lack of respect for the rule that govern politicos.

Kansas City Weed Cutting Program Backfires!!! Mayor Funky's PR move unintentionally highlights this town's lack of funds to properly address blight!!!

KSHB recently ran an interesting story that's counter to conventional wisdom put out by politicos and Kansas City's paper of record.

It seems that Mayor Funky's initiative to mow lawns at a record pace is actually encouraging even more dissent from local residents who claim a lack of focus and direct response to complaints by neighbors.

Put simply, according to a KSHB report, it seems that the logistical nightmare brought on by Mayor Funky's panic is causing Kansas City residents to feel even more neglected because the mowing program doesn't directly address their concerns.

Kansas Political Name Calling

Inside Political Scoop from Nick Sloan: Slattery Campaign Email Refers To Roberts As "Asshole"

It's time to fail at fake football

Kansas City Brigade to Hold Open Tryouts

"Justus at the Democratic Convention"

Exclusive video from HeyCamerman.net

Kansas City's attempt to get an anchor tenant for The Sprint Center is half hearted in every way imaginable

Kings not bringing full squad to KC for NHL exhibition

Report about Obama getting into specifics during his Kansas City visit doesn't provide any specifics

Long story short . . . Obama looks good in front of a plane

Hillary Clinton Undermines Obama as Clueless Kansas City Convention Bloggers Publish Only the Party Line

I like the Democrats because they don't seem to want to deport me and my Grandmother as much as everybody else.

But let's get it straight, propaganda in all of its forms does Democracy a disservice.

That's why I was disappointed to see local bloggers at the convention doing nothing but reposting Democrat talking points.

Blog CCP has been little more than a flurry of James Carville quips over the past few days.

Jolie Justus declaring that "We are one party, united" makes it clear that she didn't watch the same speech that the rest of the nation witnessed last night.

Fired Up! Missouri can be forgiven because it's nothing more than a Democrat mouthpiece but it's clear to see that the snarky, cutting, stand-offish tone of the blog completely disappeared when questionable Democrat politics were under question.

The word "splog" comes to mind but I don't want to ruin their party because it seems that Hillary Clinton did a good job of that on her own.

Make no mistake . . .

HILLARY SOLD OUT OBAMA AND HER SPEECH WAS ABOUT NOTHING MORE THAN SETTING HERSELF UP FOR ANOTHER PRESIDENTIAL RUN!!!

She barely mentioned Barack, she talked about her agenda and she spoke of his candidacy like it was some far away idea and not the reason for the Democrats converging.

The speech was a promo for her 2012 run and nothing besides. It wasn't until last night that I contemplated a McCain presidency . . . And for all of the empty pleasantries, talking points and "up with the people" propaganda the Dems have produced over the past few days . . . I can only hope that the upcoming Republican Convention won't become an anti-Latino parade given that, now more than ever and because of Hillary's sellout, it looks like the GOP just might win.

Gladstone Restaurant and Bar Revenue about to go up in smoke!!!

Gladstone Considers Smoking Ban . . . And at this point, with the utter devastation and havoc that the smoking ordinance has wreaked upon the Kansas City Restaurant and Bar scene . . . There is no denying that anti-smoking laws play at least some small role in driving away customers . . . At least when we're talking about dank taverns and eateries (like those in Gladstone) that wouldn't merit visiting if it wasn't for their lenient attitude toward smoking.

Mind you, TKC hates cigarette smoke - Unless it's emanating from a skank that's willing to talk to me - Still, the tobacco companies discovered a long time ago that profiting from people getting cancer is a great business model and in these harsh economic times there's no arguing with that logic.

Carrying some Kansas City morning links

Here's a few of the links I'm looking at this morning:

The latest Kansas City homicide of the past 24 hours: KCPD investigates homicide at 56th and Garfield

Sewage is just one of many nasty fluids floating around in that part of the state: The city of Lake Ozark pleads guilty in federal court to illegally dumping sewage into the popular Lake of the Ozarks.

TV News provides coverage of prank caller: "A Blue Springs woman received a disturbing phone call from someone who tried to blackmail her by claiming he was watching her in her bedroom."

At least one decent quarterback will be playing at Arrowhead: Brady eyes Patriots return against Kansas City

Local recession is so bad, people are even giving up on their dream to escape this town: Kansas City International Airport Passenger Traffic Down 10.1 Percent in July

CRAZY FIGHT AT KANSAS CITY POLICE HEADQUARTERS!!!

A recent account of a fight at KC Police headquarters is probably one of the most intense descriptions of police work I've ever read . . .

Also, what kind of d-bag swings on a cop AT THE POLICE STATION???

The details don't need my commentary . . . The only thing I can note is that I said "Damn" out loud, twice, when I read the following passage . . .

A brawl in the Kansas City Police Headquarters lobby ended Tuesday afternoon with a burst of pepper spray and a stun-gun prong dangling from one officer’s pants.

The melee began about 5:30 p.m., after two black men entered the lobby and asked to speak with a black officer regarding an incident involving police earlier Tuesday. The men, unhappy with the way they had been treated, were irate, police said . . .

Two white officers showed up and asked the men to show their hands — a typical request in a disturbance. The men refused, and one of them allegedly punched an officer in the face, police said. The second man allegedly hit the second officer.

During the fracas, one suspect was pepper-sprayed in the face, filling the lobby with fumes. An officer fired his stun gun, but a prong hit the backside of the other officer. That officer was not shocked, police said.

The men were arrested for assault of and booked into jail.

Pepper spray and Tasers flying everywhere . . . It speaks to the restraint of the officers that nobody was killed . . . However, this kind of ruckus is a clear sign that there's a need for some kind of improvement when it comes to community relations and the KCPD . . . At least when it comes to addressing complaints. I haven't seen the video tape that is sure to insight incite strong feelings on both sides of the fence i.e. the law & order crowd (non-TV) vs. community activist types . . . But what I do know is that a huge brawl that could have been avoided is a sign of failure no matter who started it because it demonstrates a discord among members of the community (even the dumbasses) and the police.

Kansas City Conservative Columnist Jack Cashill looks for a calender pattern in order to win the hottest debate of 2004

Kansas City blog State of the Line takes apart Jack Cashill and his passé attempt to justify the Iraq War, this time using numerology instead of imaginary yellow cake. And for the record, the reason that Republicans don't do better in the Kansas City political scene is because so many of their "leaders" are half crazy and completely out of touch.

Baby, online hookups are always a bad idea

20-year-old Odessa woman Lauren Gash was sentenced to 8 years Tuesday for abducting a pregnant teenager she met online in a foiled plot to steal her unborn child.

Turning crazy, faux, Kansas Christians into martyrs only bolsters their cause

Last night Crime Scene KC reported that the Westboro Baptist fire was arson . . . Apparently, somebody didn't get the memo that Christianity in all of its fun and sometimes insane forms was built upon a persecution complex among its members that actually rewards derision earned from following whatever bastardization of the faith that is at work.

Put simply, ignoring people is always an underrated but still effective option.

I know, I know . . . People could claim that the same strategy hasn't silenced this blog . . . But then again, I've never said that my opponents are going to hell. In fact, I'm rather complimentary to my opposition I'm actively hoping to date their mothers.

Guillen goes after heckler, Royals fare better against opponents in the stands

Kansas City Royals' outfielder Jose Guillen restrained from heckler . . . Because a guy making $12 million a year shouldn't have to take crap from fans.

Plot against Obama was just as phony as unity among Democrats

The threat against Barack Obama is nothing more than "racist rantings," according to federal authorities.

Peak Oil Crisis doesn't compare to the late season implosion of the Kansas City Royals

Global warming, dependence on foreign oil and even the frightening thought that the fate of humanity rests upon the House of Saud still isn't as gloomy as yet another miserable season for this town's baseball team.

To wit, the Royals are attempting to bribe fans with precious fuel in exchange for a ticket purchase . . .

Sadly, this almost seems like some twisted conclusion to the Mad Max movie series that was never made because peak oil, the miserable performance of the Royals and cancer causing hot dogs isn't just dystopian . . . It's down right depressing, even if it represents the current state of affairs at the K.

One step closer to uncovering the dirty little digital secrets of Matt Blunt

The Kansas City Star and two other news organizations may join a lawsuit seeking access to e-mail from the Missouri governor’s office, a Cole County judge ruled Tuesday.

Shangri-La for Kansas City area smokers

KC Beer Blog finds Smoker's paradise at The Clarette Club

Autumn is for reprisals

JoCo SOB on shooting a woman in the back . . . He's against it.

The most powerful post of the week: Drunk Drivers in the Power & White District!!

Once again, bloggers provide a bit of inside scoop that is unmatched by mainstream media.

One of the best posts I've read this week was penned by KC blogger legend MToast.

It's not only a must read but also a bit of a safety tip for those of us forced to drive through a downtown mess at night:

The P&W now ranks as a maximum drunken driver threatdown area

The first person reporting by Toast provides information about P&L District foot patrols, insane drivers and the long standing death trap that is 71 after dark.

For those forced to leave their comfort zone on the weekend . . . There is no better primer on Kansas City streets after dark than the cleverly worded missive that KC blogger MToast provides.

Take a look at Kansas City blogs!!!

The Kansas City blogosphere continues to grow by leaps and bounds . . . Cleaning out my bookmarks (nhjic) I discovered a neat looking Kansas City blog that I should have linked earlier . . .

Tim Samoff has one of the best blog designs I've seen in quite awhile.

The guy is a self described "Bus riding, culture jamming, ALDI shopping, theology popping hack philosopher wannabe." And I'm not only enjoying the design of his blog but also surprised by the fact that his wife may be related to Obama.

Additionally, I wanted to highlight the bloggy work of Charles-David . . . He just started blogging this year and runs a great site dedicated to his interests that include but aren't limited to graphic design, artists spotlights, a personal journal and info about his music.

Be sure to check out both of these sites and celebrate the fact that the local blogging scene continues to expand faster than the ass of a newly married woman!!!

Do you have a Kansas City blog that you want linked? Let me know at tony@tonyskansascity.com or leave the address in the comments!!!

Looking good today Kansas City!!!

Lots of great stuff ahead today . . . Some of the best local bloggers are on fire and there are quite a few great news stories floating around as well that deserve a lot of attention.

Stay tuned, as I "enjoy" this photo of former Playboy model Shauna Sand looking thoughtfully (heh) into the distance.

FUNKHOUSER FINED!!!

Looks like longtime Funky worker Dottie took the fall for Mayor Funky's "rag tag" i.e. incompetent campaign finance record keeping . . .

Mayor Mark Funkhouser has settled his campaign finance case with the Missouri Ethics Commission, agreeing to pay personally $1,000.

An agreement signed this week requires Funkhouser to pay the $1,000 within 45 days and makes him liable for up to $3,400 more in fees in the event of other violations over the next two years.

The Ethics Commission found that Dottie Engle, then a campaign worker, had spent funds when she was not authorized. State law limits expenditures of campaign funds to the candidate, treasurer and deputy treasurer.

Rumor has it there may be more charges against Funky Bunch because there was no mention of the missing 80k.

This may seem like a minor infraction to some . . .

TKC SAYS THIS FINE IS SIMPLY A REFLECTION OF MAYOR FUNKY'S INCOMPETENCE AND THE QUESTIONABLE ETHICS INSIDE HIS CAMPAIGN AND OFFICE!!!

For quite awhile, Mayor Funky's supporters questioned the ethics and intentions of everyone who opposed the Mayor . . . NOW THE IT'S MAYOR FUNKHOUSER WITH A SIGNIFICANT STAIN ON THE RECORD OF HIS ADMINISTRATION!!!

Simple campaign finance laws have thankfully removed him from his high horse, the Mayor now can't arrogantly assert that he's a "man of principle" without a close examination of his record.

In other words . . . The Emperor (and his wife) have no clothes. (ew)

Twilight of the "Orange Revolution" links

Hey, there's a few links in here that have nothing to do with Obama!!!

FANTASTIC COLUMN FROM THE STAR: Segregation still strong in KC

Alonzo Washington in People Magazine!!!

Ugh. Metro Clinton Supporter: What Obama Needs To Win

Presidential recognition of the Co-Mayors on the day they were disgraced: Obama campaign invites Funkhouser, Squitiro to event

Woman Shot in Independence

A wise move to support snitchin: Police Honor Tipster Who Helped In Sting

Another Independence dirt bag: Boyfriend Accused Of Attacking Woman's Baby

Justice in the Golden Ghetto: Guilty verdict in shooting of Shawnee cop

Another reason to keep drinking: 75th Street Brewery's 15th Anniversary

One more Kansas City Obama-rama Clip.

Oh yeah, and here's the photo gallery of Brit supermodel Danielle Lloyd!!!

TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! THE WOMEN OF INK ARE UNTOUCHABLE AND KINDA NASTY!!!

Morale is at an all time low at the offices of The Kansas City Star.

There are a great many media outlets that have insight into The Star's misery because each and every one of their reporters are voicing their complaints to colleagues, friends, family and anyone who will listen.

Bottomline Communications has been leading the coverage of the hard times facing Kansas City's paper of record. The news reported by John Landsberg has been insightful, verifiable and interesting.

Now it's TKC's turn to cover a bit of gossip.

RUMOR HAS IT THAT THE LADIES AT INK MAGAZINE ARE EXEMPT FROM UPCOMING LAYOFFS AT THE STAR BECAUSE MANAGEMENT IS IN LOVE WITH THEIR . . . CONTENT!!!

Their website ratings haven't been anything special, their coverage is rather pedestrian and I notice that the free mag rarely runs out at newsstand . . . But maybe their doing well via advertising . . . Which would be odd during a recession.

What I have heard is that these broads have carte blanche when it comes to their operation and that pisses off veteran Star reporters to no end.

To prove my point, allow me to reference a recent Ink article which provides some rather racy quotes . ..

The article in question refers to questions that women don't want to be asked. Here are the ones that caught my interest:

"Can your friend join us?"

"What kinky stuff have you done with your ex?"

"Can I cum on your face?"

"Will you stick your finger in my butt?"

"Will you pee on me?"

First of all, it's nice to see that dead tree media has decided that their legacy doesn't involve staying classy. Secondly . . . It's good to know that the prostitutes working at Ink hear this kind of talk on a regular basis, it makes my fantasies a lot more realistic.

Now, I'm not a prude about language but if The Star's covering the gamut of dirty talk then why weren't Gloria Squitiro's choice quotes offered to the daily news reading public?

Of course Kansas City remembers Gloria Squitiro's greatest lines that were only linked in PDF format and unwritten by The Star. But I digress . . .

It's worth noting that fashion and food sections are proving to be the last remaining vestige of dead tree media dominance. Put simply, that's where papers are (still) making their money. New York Times Columnist Paul Krugman notes that "from a business perspective the NYT is primarily a fashion and food publication that runs a small political news operation on the side. One issue of T Magazine, he says, pays for an entire NYT European bureau."

Ergo, Ink is The Star's future. And while I might enjoy these chubby, foul mouthed and hopelessly clueless broads that don't know a thing about life outside the P&L District . . . Folks who actually care about journalism and reporting in Kansas City (not me) aren't thrilled by the prospect of a daily newspaper that looks like INK.

One more Mayor Funky Failure

During his tenure in office Mayor Funky has clearly demonstrated that he doesn't know the first thing about the legislative process even in matters close to his heart.

The Mayor has made a desperate attempt to stop a City Ordinance aimed at removing his wife from City Hall. The Mayor is introducing is own counterproposal but in a fantastic article on the subject, a detail regarding the Mayor's ineptitude is unfortunately buried at the bottom of the report.

Funkhouser also told Haines that he had introduced a resolution to direct the city manager and parks department to create a policy governing volunteers. However, Funkhouser told Star reporter Lynn Horsley last week that he forgot to introduce the resolution from the floor during Thursday's council meeting. He said his staff didn't remind him to do so. He said he plans to introduce the resolution during next week's council meeting.

This is funny for a couple of reasons . . .

Mayor Funky clearly doesn't understand even the simplest, civic, legislative undertaking. This error in his wife's defense reminds us of a major screw up that killed his regional light rail plan . . . An embarrasing screw-up involved Mayor Funky's plan to introduce a 25-year regional sales tax when, in fact, Missouri limited the sales tax to 15 years.

It's also nice to see the Mayor has absolutely no loyalty and threw his subordinates under a bus without much thought at all . . . Again, that's pretty typical of his leadership (or lack thereof) which blames everyone else and fails to accept personal responsibility at every turn.

As for the Mayor's forgetfulness regarding the defense of his wife . . . I'm not really going to hassle him for it given that he undoubtedly has to go home and answer for his mistake to the person who is really in charge of Kansas City.

TKC EXCLUSIVE QUESTION!!!! IS ANYBODY GOING TO COVER THE SCOTT ECKERSLEY TRIAL TODAY?!?!?!

TKC Sources are everywhere and they're extremely awesome . . .

In fact, they tell me today that Gov. Blunt is in Independence right now getting ready to testify in the Scott Eckersley case.

For those of you who don't remember, Eckersley is the guy who was fired by Baby Blunt for brining the whole e-mail controversey to light and noting that the Gov. illegally deleted e-mail.

I find the case especially interesting because rumor has it that those e-mails may contain proof that address Internets rumors of the Boy Gov being teh ghey.

Nevertheless, just because Obama is in town doesn't mean that all other news coverage in KC should be abandoned and I bet there's still enough time for an enterprising reporter to make it to Independence and see what the Gov has to say for himself.

Kansas City Blogger earns recognition on Ingram's "20 in their Twenties" list!!!

Kansas City blogosphere . . . It is my distinct honor to bring you news that will make you doubt your self worth and contribute to the nasty KC blogger jealousy that defines most meet-ups and the chatter after they're done.

More importantly, I'd like to congratulate Kansas City blogger Ramsey Mohsen for a recent Ingram's Magazine apperance on their "20 in their Twenties" list.

TKC readers should be familiar with Ramsey and his vlogging that frequently appears on this site.

I don't know him well enough to be "proud" of him but TKC has always had an eye for talent (No Homo) and I can co-sign this nice Internet video tribute to the KC blogger made by his work colleagues.

It's time to start mowing lawns Mary Sanchez!!!

Here's a testament to the stupidity and inexperience of the advisers surrounding Mayor Funkhouser.

He's now in a war of words with the local media as Kansas City Star publisher Mark Zieman publicly slapped Funkhouser with a scathing press release correction of Mayor Funky's assertions regarding his wife's employment. Also, most newsies are showing little patience for the Mayor's slow learning curve when it comes to dealing with the press.

A recent statement by Mayor Funky raised the ire of a couple of newsies who couldn't contemplate the reasoning behind a recent quote:

APPARENTLY, MAYOR FUNKY BLAMED THE MEDIA FOR KANSAS CITY'S PROBLEM WITH OVERGROWN LAWNS AND THE EXPENSIVE EFFORT TO MOW AND TRIM LOCAL LOTS!!!

This weekend on WIR, Mayor Funkhouser offered the quote and explained that reporting on flashy projects like The Sprint Center and the P&L District caused the City to lag behind on efforts to improve infrastructure. Apparently, as City Auditor he was completely powerless. It's actually freelancers and stringers who should shoulder the real responsibility for the failure of decades of deferred maintenance. (Eh, at least he didn't blame Cauthen this time around)

It was obviously a poorly thought out quote but I still don't understand the strategy of picking a fight with The Star . . . Especially since they got him elected.

In defense of his wife, it's almost tragic seeing Mayor Funky alienate one group after another. Still, I guess the current media fight was inevitable given the lackluster performance of Mayor Funky's PR people and the fact high paid duo of Alex P. Keaton wannabes would rather pose in nice suits, pretend to have real responsibilities and spend most of their time looking important rather than doing any kind of real work.

Then again . . . Maybe I'm not being fair.

Since The Star cuts down a forest full of trees every year MAYBE THEY SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE FOR CUTTING KANSAS CITY LAWNS!?!?!?!

It could be time for Mary Sanchez to get back to her roots, take off the business suit and really do Kansas City some good. We are a "City that works" after all and I just might support Mayor Funky's silly ideas if he fires Joe Miller and I get to tell Jeneé Osterheldt that it's time to trim some bush!!!

Nicer Names for a Kansas City Hospital

There was a recent memo sent out for community leaders regarding the terminology used to describe Truman Medical Center.

For those who don't know, TMC often hosts the uninsured and the slew of people shot over the average Kansas City summer weekend.

The place is commonly referred to as "the poor people's hospital." However, in a note to board members President/CEO John W. Bluford reminds everyone that "even poor people don’t like to go to a poor person’s hospital."

Here are the suggested terms offered by Mr. Bluford to describe TMC that might not offend patients (i.e. po'folk):

High-risk Patient Population

Diverse Patient Population

Special Needs Patients

Underinsured

Actually, I respect the effort to re-brand the place but this is a dumbass jokey blog and I have some suggestions of my own. Check it:

Heaven's waiting room for the broke

The "2 Many Tumors 2 pay" Happy Fun Place

Gunshot Alley

Discounts for "Dead on Arrival" Destination

The "Damn I wish I lived In Canada" Clinic

Yeah, I don't think my suggestions will improve anyone's self esteem but they might lighten the mood for patients. Feel free to add your monikers for this KC institution that does a lot of good as this nation preapres to choose be between two presidential candidates who don't have much to say about health care.

Kansas City Light Rail Options

Today, Forsythe pens a must read post on the subject of light rail that examines the options when it comes to this form of transit BEYOND what local architectural firms are offering.

Kansas City Questions for Obama

The local media will be fawning all over Obama (no homo?) today and I can't help but provide a few questions that Kansas City viewers might want to think about when viewing the coverage without any hard questions:

Is there any tangible, real plan to address Kansas City's faltering economy or all of the jobs lost in this town?

Do the people featured in today's press conference serve any other purpose than human props? Are they advising him, are they working in a focus group at least, can he name one of them without looking at his notes?

Should Obama be elected president, is D.C. going to send any money for KC Sewers and Water Infrastructure which are in desperate need of a multi-billion dollar bailout?

I'm no journalist but I'm betting these are questions that won't get asked (or answered) and they aren't too bad . . . What we'll all see instead is reporting regarding a "historic" event and adoring faces in the crowd who are content to elect an image without much substance or answers for the problems facing Kansas City.

Timing the Mayor's PR Moves

A Kansas City TV journalist let me in on something that's not-so-secret among this town's television newsies . . .

THE MAYOR SEEMINGLY SCHEDULES HIS PRESS CONFERENCES IN AN ATTEMPT TO DIVERT ATTENTION AWAY FROM GLORIA SQUITIRO'S BLUNDERS!!!

I understand and respect all kinds of media tricks but it's actually quite troubling that Kansas City's Mayor is using tactics reminiscent of the Bush Administration during the early days of the War on Terror in an attempt to divert attention away from the disastrous role of his wife at City Hall.

Examples:

The "Mayors against illegal guns" ill-advised, anti-gun PR move took place when a bunch of Gloria Squitiro news was circulating.

A recent movie premiere PR stunt capped off a week when all Kansas City could talk about was Gloria Squitiro's feet.

And a KC Cyclist rally was held during the summer as the Mayor's people finished their retaliation against the woman Squitiro called Mammy.

The newsie also tells me that the Mayor's media people aren't getting much better at their jobs and press conferences are always poorly planned and scheduled . . . Sadly, people don't just blame Joe Miller anymore but the entire Funky Administration that is seemingly suffering from a bunker mentality.

Personally, I always thought politicos were supposed to make life rough for reporters but Mayor Funky's people have gone a step further and not only whine and complain about news coverage but also treat every newsie like the enemy and so far have only managed to make friends among reactionary conservative talkers who barely qualify as the mainstream.

Moxie Mama Megapost!!!

The Mary Todd Lincoln/Gloria Squitiro comparison has been made before . . . But local blog Moxie Mama now owns the insight with her amazing takedown of the Mayor's wife in her role as an unpaid volunteer. This intense and brilliant passage from the KC area blogger is my favorite:

I would never show up at my hubby's place of employment barefoot and expecting to be a prima donna volunteer.

I would never ever accept him doing the same to me.

I would never ever put myself into an ELECTED position that would assume my spouse was just as important as me. I was voted in, not him.

I would never show up at his work/theater rehearsal and demand a say in the creative process.

I wouldn't tolerate him telling me how to run my next ad campaign or giving me a history lecture.

I'm good at history and advertising. He's good at computers and theatre.

We don't cross our professional paths, but we are the other's biggest advocate.

I'll never say a wife should stay home where she belongs, but Gloria DOES NOT belong in KC City Hall.

(That's a Period AND Exclamation Point!)

My bad, this post is a few days old and I should have linked it earlier . . . However, I think in hindsight (heh) this kind of post is the perfect answer to claims that Gloria Squitiro has support from "regular folks" . . . The truth is, regular folks are blogging and NOT ONE OF THEM is directly defending Gloira Squitiro's presence at City Hall.

Doubling Up on Kansas City Morning Links

Here's 10 mainstream media links that I thought were worth mentioning but not important enough to post about . . .

Blind faith and lost causes are better when combined: Metro Ministers Respond to Violence

6,000lbs of pot through his hands: Defendant pleads guilty in KCK pot ring

Failure on a fungal level: KC Elementary School Closes Due To Mold

Golden Ghetto Payback: 25 years for OP man's murder

Everybody loves Latinos when it's time to make a buck: McCarthy Auto Group Courts Hispanic Customers

KCK Killer Shopping District: Guilty verdict in murder at the Legends

Cushy Suburban life celebrated all the more . . . Local Teens in Georgia Return to Kansas

Working the case: KC police seek connection in two drive-by shootings

It's a dumb move but higher Ed is often the answer to harsh times: Mizzou Breaks Enrollment Record Again

Consolidation among charities: Don Bosco Centers consider merger with Newhouse

"True to the Game," a hip-hop CD benefiting The Negro Leagues Baseball Museum in Kansas City

I'll believe it when I see it but the CD is slated for release on Oct. 21 featuring: T-Pain, Rick Ross and Tay Dizm; GLC featuring Kanye West; Chingy featuring Ziggy Nina; Raiyn featuring Talib Kweli; Young Cash featuring Akon; Sam Christ featuring Big Boi of Outkast; Tone BlacQ, featuring Snoop Dog; and Yung Joc.

Promoters promise G-rated lyrics in support of The Negro Leagues . . . In what just might be one of the best ideas to promote the place in nearly a decade of its existence.

Women hate Chris Koster!!!

Margaret Donnelly lost by 780 votes to Chris Koster out of more than 346,000 votes cast in the Aug. 5 Democratic attorney general primary . . . Now she's suing and claims some of those ballots were wrongly rejected. Her lawsuit names election officials in 26 counties. It asks the Supreme Court to order the contested ballots to be reviewed and re-counted. Surprisingly, she's still not as pissed off as the guy's ex-wife who put more than 200k into his defeat.

Here's why the failure of the KC School District is important

Report: Dropouts More Likely To Be In Prison

Kansas City's Restaurant Closing Crisis!!!

Hey, the smoking ordinance and the P&L District aren't just killing Kansas City bars . . . They're also taking a bite out of the local restaurant biz.

A LOCAL FOODIE BLOGGER DOES AN EXCELLENT JOB OF DOCUMENTING THE CARNAGE!!!

Here's a quick list of local eateries that have recently closed shop:

The Mango Room (also counts as a bar)

Noodle Shop on 59th

Swizzle

40 Sardines

Scotty's on 39th

Bella's (same location as Scotty's according to the foodie blogger)

Melbee's

Sarah's Eat Drink Art

Also, I found this epic post via KC Lunch Spots who also notes the closing of Max's.

It's important to choke down this list of closed Kansas City restaurants because it's something that The Star won't report. Upon the opening of the P&L District and The Sprint Center there was nothing but outright praise for the establishments and anecdotal evidence portrayed as fact regarding the brisk business that local restaurants were doing . . . SADLY, IT ALL TURNED OUT TO BE A LIE!!!

The Star and big media conspired to create a business trend that had nothing to do with reality and now local restaurants are closing up shop en masse.

Of course, the gut reaction from those timid souls who just can't help but defend the corporate elite will be to deride the restaurants and find some other cause for their closing which fails to mention the hype produced and published by the mainstream press . . . I don't know if bad service, the smoking ordinance or the P&L District killed all of those restaurants but what I do know is that the local media promised an economic boom/boon because of The Sprint Center and the P&L District and CLEARLY THE IMMEDIATE RESULT HAS BEEN A FINANCIAL BUST FOR KANSAS CITY!!!

Conservative Kansas City Counterargument

Normally, I think LMC's links are kind of lame . . . However, after witnessing the full media deluge, her post of conservative reaction to the DNCC is quite poignant and thankfully doesn't direct any hatred toward Mexicans . . . Which I'm sure the Republicans will be saving for their own convention.

Best way to buy an Irish Fest ticket: Online

Get your ticket to KC's premiere Irish event via the Internets - Notice that the blogosphere is like a bar - but thankfully - liver poisoning isn't required to make all of the women beautiful and all the men tough, smart and knowledgeable regarding every subject.

Kansas Gov is quite a dancer

From New York Magazine:

Kansas governor Kathleen Sebelius. Sebelius’s dancing was so kick-ass that New Orleans music legend Allen Toussaint came over to give her a bow.

Humm, a unique strategy since she's not going to be the VP . . . Sebelius recently appeared in Vogue and is now spotted dancing the night away at the DNCC . . . That certainly speaks to the experience of most Kansans . . . And I thought her moves were only to evade questions about anything she's really accomplished for Kansas rather than just pad her resume.

Via Kansas Watch

DNCC Photo Montage from a local newsie

This post doesn't feel like corporate media . . . It's actually a nice look inside the propaganda Democrat machine.

Kansas City's Bulky Item Pick Up change screws over even more people

The KC Guy points out: "This is going to really change the way some trash pickers and dumpster divers around town operate. You can't just drive around following the monthly schedule and expect to uncover good finds." On the bright side . . . Local pack rats now have yet another excuse.

Sounds like The Killers in their prime but they're from Kansas City

Found a few tracks from The Abracadabras online . . . They're not bad, which is a nice way to say that they don't make me want to punch an emo dude in the face which is the feeling I usually get after being forced to listen to The Killers.

Check out their myspace, steal their songs!!! (They're giving most of them away free . . . But I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.)

"Kansas City Irish Bands & Celtic Music"

This is probably the most comprehensive list of local Irish music in existence courtesy of Irish KC . . . Basically it comprises everything you ever wanted to know about Kansas City's Irish Music Scene but were too drunk to remember.

New blog: Radioman's Kansas City

This just might be the infamous R-Man from the GWCR forums. I can't say for certain because that local Internet forum is famous for name spoofing and all kinds of wonderful slander . . . It's kind of like this blog only without the College Degree - UMKC counts damn it!!! Anyhoo, check out the R-man's latest effort. He describes himself as "slightly liberal, slightly anti-war, slightly political, slightly opinionated media and news critic" which would make him an exact carbon copy of just about every other person on the Internets . . . But I'm still hoping to read some decent stuff from him . . . I always try to be an optimist when it comes to white people.

You're on your own when it comes to property crime people: Kansas City Rapper Reach Reunited With His Car!!!

This isn't a slam on the KCPD . . . I realize they have more important things to do, like chase down murderers, then mess with every stolen item that comes up.

However, it's important for residents of this town to realize that once something is stolen, it's gone . . . Well, most of the time.

I wanted to post this awesome tale of life in KC from rapper Reach before we're too far separated from the weekend. The story is indicative of property crime in this town but also provides a bit of hope:

Once I began to go North on Main I realized I wanted Panchos. Thirty seconds later my ride screams, "there's your car!!!" Someone was driving my car in the opposite direction on Main. We swung around and found a couple standing outside of my car at the gas station. I pulled in trying to play it cool (while she called the Police). I guess the guy was shook because he saw her turned around trying to get a good look at him to give to the Police. The couple began to walk off. A few seconds later the guy turned back around and asked me if it was my car. I told him it was. Apparently they didn't steal it... Someone gave the car to them (whatever you say dog). And just that quick they walked off.

They took all of my CD's including copies of both my first and recent albums, but everything else is intact. I got my life back y'all.

I appreciate everyone's thoughts, kind words, and prayers.

Thank you so much!!!

So what have we learned? No matter how badass, talented or gifted you might be . . . There is someone waiting to rob you and odds are there's nothing that can be done about it. But, paying attention on the way to pick up Mexican food is always a good idea!!!

And that pretty much sums up life in Kansas City.

Castaway in Kansas City

Currently, Big media is completely engrossed in Obama-rama and now that the future Prez is in town to do a meaningless press conference, I expect the craze to continue.

I guess they can't be blamed for reporting hype but I've always thought that the celebrity coverage takes away from the stories of real people in this town and replaces it with only sound bytes and good intentions.

In any event, I'll link what interests me but I'll definitely be looking for stuff that hasn't been passed down from Obama headquarters and has more to do with people living in KC proper . . . Along with bikini photos of white women, of course.

OBAMA IN BROOKSIDE!!!

I know a lot of people in Brookside . . . They're part of the last white enclave in midtown Kansas City.

Tonight the middle-class neighborhood celebrated a Black guy roaming through their streets and stopping by to watch TV . . . The crowd of adoring fans was sort of a surprise to me.

Normally, their reaction is more subdued and neighbors regularly leer out or their windows when people of color pass by . . . I know this from "dating" a great many white broads in that neighborhood as well.

Anyhoo . . . It was also interesting to note that the PR visit to our Mayor's neighborhood didn't include Kansas City's Co-Mayors unless they were lurking in the bushes somewhere . . . More likely, they were probably at home pretending to care about this propaganda fest like everyone else.

Finally . . . Alonzo Washington does a great job in pointing out that Obama's visit didn't stop through the areas of KC that might need a bit more attention from the future prez . . . Like the Eastside of KC.

TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! ED WOLF STILL HAS THE BEST JOB IN KANSAS CITY!!!

Okay, so Ed Wolf isn't really the Chief of Staff in Mayor Funky's office and Gloria Squitiro gets to assume the job duties of whoever she wants.

But there's an upside . . . Kickass TKC Tipsters tell us . . .

ED WOLF ALMOST NEVER SHOWS UP FOR WORK!!!

That's right, a lot of folks driving by Mr. Wolf's Midtown home as of late have noticed the guy mowing his lawn in the middle of the day during the work week. The rumor is confirmed by City Hall denizens who can't get a hold of the guy at all and first attributed his absence to rumors regarding his health . . . Thankfully, he's not sick and it seems like the guy can do a better job of staying out of Gloria Squitiro's way from home. And why should he show up? The Co-Mayor does his job for the most part . . . I guess there's a reason why the dude is probably the hardest person to get a hold of at City Hall.

It's pretty clear that the hardest part of his gig is justifying the quarter million he pulls down from the City every year.

Still, for that kind of money, in a "City that works" it seems like former City Auditor Funky might want to make sure this town is getting something in return for all of that money and not simply allowing the old dude to phone it in.

Sadly, this is yet another instance where Mayor Funky refuses to hold family or friends accountable for their actions.

The Sound of the Kansas City Crossroads

Present Magazine posts all of the live music you could possibly be capable of hearing in the first weeks of September.

Meanwhile, TKC is linking to a fantastic (probably NSFW) photo gallery of Christiy Hemme . . .

Heterosexuals will follow only one of these links.

Okay, NOW it's time for Kansas City to get excited about Irish Fest

Mary Anne reminds us that Irish Fest is on the way and also provides the appropriate links.

The Wicked Witch of the Midwest is making the most of her Convention Time

Clips From Senator McCaskill's Speech This Morning . . . Change, hope, bleh from another career politician.

Kansas City crook robs old lady of purse and media watchers of their faith in humanity

From Crime Scene KC:

A woman in her 20s pretended to help an 86-year-old woman pump gas and then grabbed the older woman’s purse, police said today.

It really is quite a disturbing little blurb. If the person wanted to rob an old lady she should have at least had the courtesy to use the phone, direct mail or an awkwardly timed family visit.

Not even Obama can save Kansas City jobs

At around 11:15, Sen. Barack Obama's will be in Kansas City on Tuesday to lead a "discussion on renewing America's promise" at the American Airlines overhaul base at Kansas City International Airport. This comes less than two weeks after the airline announced plans to cut jobs. Using the downward spiral of Kansas City's economy as a metaphor should be inspiring . . . Sadly, I doubt if it'll lead to any employees saved from the ax because of high fuel prices.

Here's how they fail: The Star scooped by the subject of their interviews

Members of the KC Improv Scene inform us that there's soon to be a feature on the local improv community coming up in The Star . . . Of course, it's not news but it is a sign that nothing stays secret on the net and the paper of record is currently something more similar to a historical document.

The Mayor's weekend media blitz didn't work!!! Kansas City still offended by Gloria Squitiro's feet, bigotry and dirty mouth!!!

The Mayor's people were out in full force this weekend trying to blame their blunders on the media again. The focus on the media from the Mayor's people was a welcomed change because they usually just blame City Manager Wayne Cauthen for their ineptitude and inability to deliver on their big promises.

Sadly, for folks who touted an "Orange Revolution" the "blame the media" tactic is decidedly old school and right out of the playbook of most failing politicos dating back to the 80's.



To wit, the worst defense of Co-Mayor Gloria Squitiro just happened to be on KCPT's Week in Review.

KANSAS CITY'S CLUELESS MAYOR COMPARED THE PRESENCE OF HIS RACIAL SLUR USING WIFE AT CITY HALL TO STEVE GLORIOSO'S WORK FOR FORMER MAYOR KAY BARNES!!!

This defense is tragic and stupid for the following reasons:

Glorioso wasn't married to Former Mayor Kay.

Gloriso was an employee who was accountable to his employer.

Gloriso has numerous connections to a variety of politicos and operatives in Kansas City Democrat circles while I think Squitiro is friends with some glass etcher guy.

I'm pretty sure Glorioso wore shoes while working at City Hall.

FINALLY, THE COMPARISON TO MAYOR KAY ACKNOWLEDGES THAT MAYOR FUNKY'S REGIME REPRESENTS VERY LITTLE CHANGE FROM THE FORMER ADMINISTRATION BY THEIR OWN ADMISSION!!!


From what I'm hearing, the Mayor's hackneyed, lame and utterly unconvincing defense of his wife has angered far more people than it convinced. It's strange because the Mayor does seem to be making some inroads when it comes to private, off the record meetings with (mostly white) neighborhood folk where subtle racism and elitism is far more acceptable. Word is that the Mayor's PR flaks Blackwood and Miller are out in full force spreading some pretty heartless rumors about the victim of Gloria's Mammy slur and promising access, more attention and more influence to naive community people in exchange for their support . . . THESE FOLKS SHOULD REMEMBER THAT MAYOR FUNKY MADE THE SAME KIND OF PROMISES TO RED BRIDGE ROAD PEOPLE BEFORE HE LEFT THEM STANDING IN THE COLD AND WITH A MAJOR HIGHWAY ABOUT TO RUN THROUGH THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD DESPITE THEIR ALLEGIANCE TO THE BACKSTABBING POLITICIAN!!! I use the example of white people being double crossed by Mayor Funky because few people seem to care that the guy openly lied the Latino Community about his "sensitivity" to their communities.

Anyhoo . . . The Mayor's excuses were far from convincing and at this moment the few people who still believe the guy's garbage in support of Gloria Squitiro are also endorsing:

Nepotism

Bare feet in the Mayor's office.

Racial slurs

Lack of accountability in Kansas City's highest office.

Promoting some weird ass Native American Shaman and his "Coyote Wisdom" by Kansas City's Co-Mayors.

I'm more than willing to believe that the small circle of Mayor Funky's friends and acolytes will sell their soul to back up these values (or lack thereof) held by the Mayor's office . . . But surprisingly, I notice that a great many people in Kansas City see through the poor excuses and political maneuvering of the Mayor and refuse to support him simply because he's a white guy.

In Kansas City priest sex abuse settlement, apology was more important than money. But they aren't giving the money back. Natch.

On Wednesday, Bishop Robert Finn made a blanket apology for all the priests, including Hart, who were named in the Kansas City, Mo., civil lawsuits. On Friday, the alleged victims said that the non--monetary stipulations and the public apology were the most important parts of the settlement for them.

KCK kid found shacking up with girlfriend

Surprise, a somewhat happy ending to a KCK missing person story involving a person of color. TKC Note: The strange ending for the case seems somewhat fitting given that big media seldom focuses on missing person stories not involving attractive white broads.

Jazz is dead in Kansas City

A very special shout out goes to KC blog Happy in Bag for his fine work in delivering this uncut look at the jazzy memorial service dedicated to the Kansas City Jazz legend.

Chad Franklin Suzuki down in flames!!!

Is it payback? Officials are calling it suspicious.

Check it:

Just before 3:00 a.m. Monday, firefighters were called to Chad Franklin Suzuki at 6801 State Avenue in Kansas City, Kansas.

Firefighters say 9 cars were set on fire at the dealership.

Several clues are leading firefighters to believe the blaze is suspicious. Several gas cans were found around the burning cars, and one of those gas cans had melted. The extreme intensity of the fire is another reason arson is suspected.

Damage is estimated to be at least $150,000.

I'm not much of a philosopher and I don't know whether to file this one under karma or the fact that pissing off people tempted to use gasoline to solve their problems is a bad idea.

Nevertheless, this morning fire is a yet another twist to the Kansas City Car dealership controversey that continues to do damage.

SHAMWOW!!!

In case you're thinking of shopping for TKC this X-mas.

A quick look at Kansas City morning links

Here are a few of the leftovers that are still worth a mention on this Monday Morning when I realize that so many bloggers and newsies still can't or don't want to admit they read TKC daily:

It's almost enough to make you vote Republican: McCaskill Snags Prime Speaking Spot

I'm really looking forward to pretending that I read this book: Former FBI agent traces history of Kansas City's organized crime

Not quite the dead end anymore: Highway deaths down in Missouri, Kansas in 2007

Remembering Charlie Parker without much talk of his heroin addiction.

Screw the homeless, KC loves dogs!!!

TKC policy . . . I don't spare change for people and all stray dogs that come within 5 feet of me get hit with a rolled up newspaper, some homeless as well.

Nevertheless, KSHB reports some of the racing greyhounds from the Woodlands are still in need of a home . . . And I'm sure they'll get it if animal loving suckers (ew) stay true to form.

Raytown Lady wanted to burn?

Nice to see that not all of the weekend stupidity comes from KC Proper or the Mayor's office . . . Apparently, a local lady didn't want any help from firefighters.

There was a bizarre twist to an early morning fire in Raytown on Sunday. It happened about five o'clock Sunday morning when flames gutted a Raytown home. Raytown Fire Chief Rick Mawhirter said he's never seen anything like it in his 30 years with the department. Firefighters and police officers said they were dumbfounded when a victim in the fire refused to be rescued.

Actually, this isn't that strange of a phenomenon given that so many broads don't want help given that my advice when it comes to sandwich making and silence for women who want to maintain long term relationships goes unheeded.

Who did the weekend drive-by?

1 killed, 1 critically hurt over the weekend . . . Police said they want to find four men in red baseball caps who were spotted inside an SUV near the time of the shooting. I'm guessing they might have taken the baseball caps off at this point . . . But the best of luck to people trying to solve this case anyway, given that very few people speak up about crime in this town.

Let's talk failure (and keep quiet about the impending teacher's strike)

KCMO Superintendent Discusses School Year

Collapsing Star

BLC is reporting MORE CUTBACKS, buyouts, wage freezes and even more evidence that the corporate model of media distribution is going the way of the dodo.

Kansas City Airshow Recap

The following photos come courtesy of Ramsey Moshsen . . . They're pretty inspiring and do a great job of capturing the KC weekend event.









I like this last pic, it's the nice image that clearly demonstrates everything that's right about the armed services and this town . . .

Still, I can't help but think that all of the fanfare on a glorious summer day in the Midwest might obscure people thinking about a report that claims US-led Air Strikes Killed 76 Civilians in Afghanistan . . . Yet, I have a sneaking suspicion that nobody was thinking about that in the first place.

Update: Here's the vlog by Ramsey that accompanies the photos.

GOOD NEWS!!! THERE IS NO ONE GROUP (of dweebs) THAT CAN CLAIM TO OWN THE KANSAS CITY INTERNETS!!!

Meet-ups aren't my thing . . . I've always thought it was just an excuse to substitute social networking for writing something important or thought provoking that people responded to on its own merit rather than just because of some tenuous friendship made online.

Nevertheless . . . We are still in the golden age of online hookups and rather than ignore the trend, I'm happy to report that it's gaining more momentum.

I discovered a great new blog entitled (jeff)isageek.net . . . This very knowledgeable local blogger compiles a fantastic list of local meet-ups. Here are just a couple:

Friday, August 29th, 2008 - Social Media Breakfast at Broadway Cafe in Westport - 7:30am

Friday, August 29th, 2008 - Kansas City Geek Out - Daily Dose in Olathe - 11:00pm

So, this is important info if you use the net to fill your social calender . . . And I'm sure people in the real world, with real friends will be jealous of your ability to amass "friendships" with people who only know your online persona . . . I'll be in my basement, playing online video games . . . Which is still slightly more productive than calling a collection of pixels online "friends."

Blogger Review: "Mighty Mighty Bosstones @ Grinders in Kansas City"

KJ puts together a kick ass and competent review of a recent show that TKC could never attend . . . because I only listen to disco but also because I start yelling the world "douche" uncontrollably when I get within 200 yards of a place containing residue of that scumbag Stretch.

Urban Blight Tour Part Deux

The Midtown Miscreant, one of Kansas City's best, continues his photo collage and guided tour of Kansas City's crappiest neighborhoods.

Jolie Justus plans to kiss and tell and blog regarding goodies at the DNC

Via her blog, local politico/blogger Jolie Justus recently published a more personal take on her Democrat Convention experience that interests me far more than the same propaganda that big media is running.

Her description of Show-Me Stat Schwag is sweet:

When we arrived this afternoon we were greeted by the great volunteers and employees from the Missouri Democratic Party. We were immediately loaded down with two huge bags of schwag. Nothing says convention like a big bag of schwag and these bags did not disappoint . . .

The Missouri bag had a familiar smell. After dumping the contents on my bed I quickly id'd the smell as Gates BBQ sauce (compliments of Congressman Cleaver). The bottle had opened and spilled onto the t-shirt provided by the KC Royals. The bag was overflowing with goodies. Most of it your typical law firm coffee mugs, casino t-shirts, post-it notes, pens, etc. Notable however, were some Carmex from AG candidate Chris Koster and a pack of gum from Secretary of State Robin Carnahan. I shoved both in my pocket and headed out the door for the opening reception.

Just as the Olympics come to an end, I'm glad we have another state sponsored propaganda platform to (marginally) entertain us all.

Big Media Bloggers and Political Insiders are prepared to put you to sleep with their bloggy Democrat convention coverage!!!

BlogKC has a nice list of boring bloggers at the DNC . . . The Common Common Denominator (Other than the fact that very few people care) All of these blogs are connected to either politics or Dead Tree operations . . . So like most Democrat policies, there's the subterfuge of "Change" and "Hope" but nothing amazingly new being offered.

Social Networking killed the blogger: Blogs are just as doomed as dead tree media!!!

"While 72 percent of the children online belonged to a social networking site (usually MySpace), 60 percent of them said they rarely or never read blogs." Gawker discourages everyone while making cash hand over fist . . . And I love them for it. Also, in the future . . . All of the important news will be delivered primarily in text message form.

Washing off the Kansas City Weekend

There's some pretty decent stuff coming up today . . . But nothing as interesting as a photo gallery of Eurotrash model Nina Morić in a few bits of cloth which nicely substitute for a bikini.

Actually, at the end of this summer weekend I can't help but be a little melancholy given that TKC has been 100% correct in my estimation of summer fantasies put forth by PR people and politicos . . .

The Royals still suck.

The Chief look equally awful.

And Kansas City hasn't made any recognizable move forward regarding infrastructure.

On the bright side . . .

The saga of the Co-Mayors is so tragically silly that it provides a few laughs as Summer turns to Autumn . . . More on that later.

THE TKC SATURDAY NIGHT PLAYLIST: KANSAS CITY'S MAYOR FUNKY IS A TOTAL HYPOCRITE WHEN IT COMES TO "BEING SMART WITH THE MONEY!!!"

I hate press conferences because they are usually just a place to hear lies.

On Friday Afternoon, The Star's DeAnn Smith dutifully caught Mayor Funkhouser offering horribly hypocritical quote while promoting some lame movie.

Funkhouser says Americans should be thriftier

Burgeoning national debt, says Kansas City Mayor Mark Funkhouser, is hurting the country and its residents, and he says Americans need to be more financially prudent.

Funkhouser made that observation Friday in a news conference with Robert Bixby, executive director of the Concord Coalition, a Virginia-based nonprofit organization that promotes federal fiscal responsibility.

The news conference in Kansas City’s Ivanhoe neighborhood was intended in part to promote a documentary — “I.O.U.S.A.” — about the nation’s financial condition. The movie is screening now in two theaters in Johnson County.

Not only is that a hackneyed observation that takes blame away from predatory lenders, government waste and the basic struggle of the middle and working class but also . . .

MAYOR FUNKHOUSER TELLING AMERICANS TO BE MORE FINANCIALLY PRUDENT IGNORES THE FACT THAT HE HAS REFINANCED HIS HOME 14 TIMES SINCE 1996!!!

Seriously, Kansas City's Mayor should watch his own finances before he starts giving advice . . . His record of subprime mortgages is nothing to proud of . . . Still . . .

Rich, poor, Republican or Democrat . . . This kind of financial snobbery speaks to Mayor Funky's hypocrisy on the topic of money and the fact that he leads by dictate and not example.

This fun fact has inspired tonight's playlist. Enjoy the following tunes:

Money Talks - AC/DC

Take the Money and Run - Steve Miller Band

Money - Pink Floyd

Ride with Me - Nelly

If I had a million dollars - Barenaked Ladies

Money - Beatles

Living for the City - Stevie Wonder

Puttin on the Ritz - Taco

She Works Hard for the Money - Donna Summer

P. Diddy - It's All about the Benjamins

In the final analysis, Mayor Funky's financial shenanigans and lack of personal responsibility in all things related to his office demonstrates that his "regular folks" propaganda is nothing but a cynical pose intended to disguise his lack of leadership and accountability while he and his wife attempt to rule Kansas City like King and Queen ignoring any proposed City Ordinance they don't like.

And I think that's just about all of the Funkhouser stupidity that I can handle this week . . .

Thank you for reading. A big shout out who all TKC tipsters and those of you kind enough to link tis way.

Have a safe and fun weekend!!!

Wide Open Kansas City Weekend Links!!!

Here's just a bit of what I'm reading this weekend . . . Important stuff even when most media outlets mail it in . . .

The Most Important News Event of Our Time: KC Marble Tourney Aims For Record

Actually, this post is probably most important and Urban Air is definitely a blog that you should be reading: School District Spinning Out of Control: What the Rest of This Country is Doing to Address the Problem

Sadly, KCK keeps pace: Double shooting at 12th and Shawnee in KCK

Bloody Weekend: Man critically wounded in south KC shooting

Not all is great in the Golden Ghetto: Fire Destroys Shawnee Apartments

TRAGIC AND PREVENTABLE: Shawnee Baby Strangled To Death In Bassinet

Gang Land Get Together: Mother’s Loss of Son to Gang Sparks Community Event

Trends sell tickets: Uptown Theater hosts a weekend long green festival.

At least someone in this town is getting organized: Car Theft Ring in Metro

C'mon Kansas City Small Business, Let's Win This One For Cancer!!!

First alleged violation of KC smoking ban goes to court

DRUNK KANSAS CITY!!!

Crime Scene KC: 37 DUI arrests at KCPD sobriety checkpoint

GLORIA SQUITIRO IS A TOOL!!!

In her lastest press release, the queen of Kansas City stays oblivious and depends on anecdotal evidence (or the lack thereof) to back up her claims. Check out her desperate weekly blog post ON THE MAYOR'S BLOG WHICH IS STILL PROMOTING SOME NATIVE AMERICAN SHAMAN!!!

It would appear that a lot of people are asking the question of why Funk and I would choose to have me serve as Funk’s personal assistant at City Hall instead having me do the same work for him from home, but the reality is that most of the ordinary people aren’t the ones asking the question, the media are. Regular folks seem to respect that the Mayor is the only one who should get to choose which tools he finds helpful to have in his tool kit, not the newspaper, and not anyone else. How do we know this? We know it because Funk tells me that only a few calls and e-mails on this issue are coming to the Mayor’s office and the ones that do come in are running in our favor. Funk has heard from some council members that the same is true in their offices. Funk and I also know this because every day we are out in the world together and people come up to us to tell us we’re doing a good job and to hang in there.

I've got to hand it to her . . . Most people have a hard time admitting they are a tool . . . As for her imaginary support, I guess we all have our fans.

TKC HAS DOZENS OF VICTORIA SECRET LINGERIE MODELS SENDING ME MONEY EVERY DAY BECAUSE THEY LOVE THIS BLOG SO MUCH AND WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME!!!

Skeptical? You shouldn't be . . . Especially if you're willing to accept this B.S. line from the Mayor's wife which not only uses the tired, old political tactic of blaming the media but also relies on unverifiable, anecdotal and suspicious claims . . . Hey, it looks like she's getting the hang of blogging after all!!!

PARTY POLITICS: NOW LET'S ALL PRETEND TO BE EXCITED ABOUT BIDEN!

Of all the pouting posts I've read about Obama's VP selection . . .

RDM has the best take . . .

I don't know how putting a 6 term Washington insider on the ticket represents real "Change" but by the looks of this photo . . . I like where this thing is headed anyway.

Alonzo Washington provides breaking news in the Aalim Lankford Case!!!

Check out Alonzo Washington's blog for the latest on a local missing person case that the media stopped following last week. Here are just a few exclusive details from Alonzo's blog:

A text message was floating around that Aalim Lankford had been relocated today. If you follow this blog you would know that his case was very big in the hood's tech world long before the media touched his story. My son who handles all of my web sites knew about Aalim's case by way of text messages, Facebook & Myspace. Also my good friend Armando Brown who is Aalim's teacher saw a flier about the case. After that I put a video online about the case on Youtube and before that I had PSA's about the case running on Magic 107. 3. My son put together a web campaign to get information about the case as well. All of this took place before the media even touched the case. By week 3 Aalim's family began to get some local press about the story. So, today when my son got a text message about Aalim on his web ring I called Aalim's dad (Robert Lankford Jr.) to find out if it was true that he was relocated. The good new is that Aalim is safe and called his dad by phone.

The tips that come the way of the local activist are impressive and he's definitely playing a big part in bringing a missing person back home.

Kansas City Blogger Spotlight: Anyone can make a difference but probably shouldn't!!!

It has been a good week for this blog.

I'm especially proud of a few newsy mentions of this humble, jokey, stupid blog:

There's a ton of great stuff at the KC Tribune.com and one of their writers, Tom Bogdon, basically knows everything there is to know about this town. A quick mention of TKC in a column about Gloria Squitiro was nice but his conclusions are far more serious and important than any of my jokes about bare feet.

READ THE KC TRIBUNE.COM, START WITH THIS COLUMN!!!

Again, great reporting on City Hall Drama from DeAnn Smith . . . She links TKC in an important post about City Hall Laywers basically telling people to back off from dealing with Gloria Squitiro.

Basically . . .

DEANN SMITH AWESOMELY (WITH HER SEXY SOUTHERN ACCENT) REPORTS THAT GLORIA SQUITIRO IS A KANSAS CITY'S LEGAL NIGHTMARE!!!

Now, TKC is staying frosty and humble so I'm not letting a few big media links and a nice extended call-in appearance on Darla Jaye's Show go to my head (nullus) . . . In fact, I realize there are a lot better bloggers than TKC in this town. Here are my favorite, if you're not reading them already then it's time to reevaluate your priorities and maybe pull your head out of the sand:

THE KANSAS CITY POST

BOTTOMLINE COMMUNICATIONS

NICK SLOAN

RDM'S RANDOM REMARKS

POP FREE RADIO

ALONZO WASHINGTON

GONE MILD

JAY BIRD

MAY'S MACHETE

STATE OF THE LINE

L.A. LITTLE

BLOG KC

ANOTHER KC BLOG

JOCO SOB

THE KANSAS CITIAN

LIFE IN SOJOCO

JUST CARA

MTOAST!!!

ANCILLARY ADAMS

AND MANY, MANY MORE . . . NO ONE ENTITY DEFINES THE BLOGOSPHERE, LIKE IT OR NOT THERE IS AN ARMY OF DAVIDS DOING QUITE WELL IN THE LAST DAYS OF DEAD TREE MEDIA!!!

So . . . Like most Mexicans on a Sunny Saturday Morning . . . I'll be mowing lawns . . . Hopefully I don't die of a heart attack, get hit by a bus or mauled to death by an escaped mountain gorilla . . . Until then, enjoy the blogs I've listed and one of my favorite, bandwidth hogging GIF's of Hef's skanks.

The Kansas City Evening Link Layout!!!

Here are some important links I'm lookig at Friday Night . . . Yippee!!! PROGRAMMING NOTE: I'm not posting that much until Sat. Afternoon . . . Like most Mexicans, I have lawns to mow.

This calls for billions in light rail: Downtown Bus Crash Injures at Least 2

Warplanes over downtown this weekend. I'm impressed and glad I'm on the winning team.

Evoltuion-Nextstep Classic: "tell the kansas media to put away the champagne and jergens"

Glad somebody else did it: Kansas City Weekend Dead Pool.

An Internet lesson: Commenters are not "bloggers."

Harsh times are harder for broads: Economy Puts Women's Shelter at Risk

Westport Rapist Gets Multiple Life Terms

Snitchin better than sniffing? Curious Kansas City Neighbor Leads Police To Cocaine

Big Media Masturbation!!! The Kansas City Obama Bumper Sticker Controversy!!!

MAJOR OBAMA NEWS SCOOP ABOUT THE VP CHOICE MEANS NOTHING WITHOUT MICHEAL MAHONEY'S MUSTACHE!!!

Actually, it would be nice if this Kansas City reporter who TKC has been watching since the 70's scooped everybody.

The Star's still betting Biden . . . I guess it's wrong that I really don't care . . . Even if The Star is out throw cold water on another media outlet's scoop.

Big mistake: Trusting journalists. Good fun: Watching them slap each other.

The Funny: It could all be an Internets spelling mistake/hoax or just silly as political rumor mongering (ala TKC) . . . And further proof that your news isn't that important.

Also, live blogging is for suckers.

IT'S BIDEN, I STILL DON'T CARE!!!

TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! MAYOR FUNKY FAILS TO CHARM OR BRIBE THE CITY COUNCIL IN A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO THWART THE VOLUNTEER ORDINANCE!!!

Voters and residents of Kansas City should know that this week Mayor Funkhouser's greatest priority reflected in his work was an effort to thwart the City Council from removing his wife from the 29th floor.

Never mind that there have been at least 3 homicides in this town in the past 24 hours and quite a few interesting stories this week about faulty water mains that have went weeks without fixing.

Anyhoo, the latest attempt by Mayor Funky to garner favor with the City Council is "classic Funkhouser" and part of the reason for his failure as Mayor.

Recently, Mayor Funky curiously called a meeting among an African-American contingent of City Council members which included:

Melba Curls

Terry Riley

Sharon Sanders Brooks

In typical Funkhouser fashion, he assumed that these Council people didn't have any integrity and their stand against his wife was based solely on political opportunism and not a concern over accountability in Kansas City's highest office.

In other words, he started the meeting by basically insulting them.

Then the Mayor offered his metaphorical "bag of goodies" to these council people (ew). Allegedly, this is the same condescending tactic that Mayor Funkhouser used with the Latino Community in the Semler debate . . . In this meeting, the embattled politico revealed a recurring character defect . . . MAYOR FUNKY OFTEN ASSUMES THAT HE IS THE ONLY PERSON IN ANY GIVEN SITUATION WITH INTEGRITY WHILE ATTEMPTING TO GET OTHERS TO SELL OUT THEIR POSITION!!! That in and of itself is bad enough, what's worse is that he doesn't offer anything worthwhile or that people can't get on their own. As a politico with ALMOST NO POLITICAL CAPITAL, Mayor Funky doesn't really have a lot to trade with proponents of the volunteer ordinance.

It gets worse . . .



I credit clueless, failed writer and scumbag PR flack Joe Miller with the next stupid move by Mayor Funky given that it awkwardly tries to assume solidarity with people that he doesn't really know.

DURING THE CONVERSATION MAYOR FUNKY INSULTED MOST OF THE WHITE WOMEN ON THE CITY COUNCIL!!!

He called Jan Marcason, Beth Gottstein and Cindy Circo clueless liberals. Allegedly, Mayor Funkhouser says that the group of lady Council people are bourgeoisie and that they don't understand the struggle of the African-American Council People as well as Mayor Funky who has a rural background.

It should be noted that, at this point, one of the African-American council members had to quickly stifle laughter.

Mayor Funky went on and basically promised these leaders nothing in particular but only his favor if they stepped back from their support of the ordinance governing volunteers at City Hall.

SO FAR, MAYOR FUNKHOUSER'S PLEA TO THE COUNCIL HAS NOT SWAYED OPINION AND THE 9 VOTE MAJORITY IS STILL INTACT AFTER A WEEK OF RELENTLESS LOBBYING BY THE FUNKY BUNCH!!!

Make no mistake, this fiasco has monopolized the Mayor's time and defending his wife seems to be his number one priority right now.

Better still, more than one person has told me the Mayor is actually cursing this blog and calling your favorite blogger "evil," a "rat," a "dog" and talking about my "vendetta" against his wife as well . . . I can only hope he'll make these comments on the record one of these days so that I can use them for my portfolio. But I digress . . .

In the final analysis, the Mayor's full court press for Gloria Squitiro's presence at City Hall is not only indicative of his misplaced priorities but also a clear sign of Funkhouser's failure as a leader. There's no denying that the Mayor has been sidetracked, nearly all of his staff have taken on a bunker mentality and his promise to ignore his duty to uphold the City Charter is the latest betrayal of the good faith that voters narrowly bestowed upon him.

TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! DID MARTY KERR DESERVE TO HAVE HIS ASS KICKED?!?!

Back in the day the newspapers provided analysis and inside gossip as to what in the hell was happening in local politics . . . Nowadays the dead tree media mostly serve as gatekeepers or as a quasi farm team for PR companies.

Anyhoo . . . ONE OF THE MOST KNOWLEDGEABLE, INTELLIGENT AND WELL CONNECTED TKC TIPSTERS in this town recently offered an explanation as to the recent Jackson County Democrat brawl.

And it makes a lot of sense.

See . . . I was content to think that the LeVota Bros. just go around kicking old people's asses without provocation because I'm a bit of a romantic and that kind of a behavior is reminiscent of the golden era in Kansas City politics.

Well, it turns out that there might have a damn good reason Mr. Kerr got choked out like some broad with daddy issues who rented and watched 9 and 1/2 weeks once too often via Netflix.

Here's the long and short of it (nhjic):

Marty Kerr is Treasurer for a political group called "Integrity in Law Enforcement."

This group funded attack ads against Phil LeVota in his recent run in a Lee's Summit Municipal Judge Race. Don't believe me? Check out a Missouri Ethics report that lists Kerr as an officer of the group and their list of payments

Where did the money go? MORE THAN 20K WAS PAID OUT TO THE FIRM OF KANSAS CITY'S MOST DESPISED REPUBLICAN (at least by Democrats) JEFF ROE!!!

So, in this instance, the kindly old man routine wouldn't be completely justified. Of course, I don't stand for handing out beatings to old people but I do realize that sometimes there is no other option than to put your shoe on someone who pulled a double cross.

A DEMOCRAT PAYING BIG BUCKS TO THE AREA'S MOST POWERFUL REPUBLICAN MIGHT NOT DESERVE TO BE BEATEN BUT SHOULD DEFINITELY BE CAREFUL ABOUT ALTERCATIONS THAT MIGHT ARISE FROM THE ALLEGED TREACHERY!!!

Also, there is talk of booting Phil LeVota from a few high profile Democrat gigs and I'm certainly not going to defend him (unless he pays me) but the same treatment might also be warranted for the turncoat old man who almost won sympathy from TKC.

I should have known never to believe anything at face value in political circles.

However, I'm glad TKC TIPSTERS helped to uncover the facts regarding this controversy before the mainstream media. Natch.

Again, I'm not condoning elder abuse but an explanation of the circumstances does demonstrate the logic behind the attack . . . Of course I would never beat an old person but if I did I'm sure my excuse wouldn't be as good as the LeVota Bros. and would most likely involve reparations and/or my dislike of soup, daytime TV and other things old people enjoy.

TKC Journalism Lesson #4,892: Sometimes objective reporting means justifying choking some old dude!!

TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! JUDGE THE CRAZY, JACKSON COUNTY, DEMOCRAT, LEVOTA FIGHT CLUB FOR YOURSELF!!!

KICKASS TKC TIPSTERS want people to know what happened.

They want people to make up their own mind. The details of the recent Democrat fight have been discussed but nobody is showing the documents.

If this kind of thing is your bag, take a look at the Police Report of the Jackson County Democrat Scuffle for yourself . . . Since local donkeys don't really want to go on record or want anyone to see black and white proof of their d-bag political ways.

But it is a public document.





And, of course the best part of this thing is OFFICIAL DOCUMENTATION OF the size/age match-up!!!



65 year old dude against a 6'1 225 guy . . . Sadly, those are not even odds that Obama could hope to change . . . Aw, sad clown :(

And while I think that Steve Kraske is probably one of the most talented reporters at The Star (and almost as good looking as Jeneé Osterheldt) . . . I think it's clear that this kind of stupidity by high ranking politicos and their fam gets played down when there are high ranking politicos in question. Some people think it might be Democrat favoritism while I maintain it's just plain old elitism . . . And I think posting a public document "Smoking Gun style" is the best . . . (Also, there was a phone number here that was a bitch to black out or else I would have just loaded the whole PDF).

In any event, judge for yourself . . . And please be careful when getting involved in local Democrat politics.

This Kansas City Weekend will be killer

Alonzo counts 3 murders in one night . . . I've heard there has been 4 murders in 24 hours.

And the weekend is just getting started.

Questions:

Has the Mayor's effort to join an anti-gun group paid off yet?

How much do bullet proof vests cost?

I guess it's too early to start a death pool and probably in bad taste . . . Right?

Same old trend in South KC Crime

Bannister Mall is attracting crime . . . As always.

Growing weeds around Bannister Mall is upseting neighboring businesses. They say the blight is attracting crime.

Signs on the defunct mall warn people not to trespass and to beware of a dog. But it's clear security is barking in vain. Someone is breaking windows, littering outside, and prying open boarded-up doors. As for the grass, it is so tall, neighboring businesses are choking.

Kansas City Political Watchers Might want to remember that the Mayor's lawn mowing push isn't working in this instance and it has also taken away money from codes enforcement which isn't functioning at full capacity BECAUSE OF the Mayor's lawn mowing fuss. Think of it as twisted Karma for politicos.

However, there are two bright spots here:

Bannister Mall crime is being blamed on blight and not Black people this time around.

Once again Kansas City people are expecting Super-TIF to save the day.

Meanwhile, the mall is empty, dangerous and dilapidated . . . Which is the same condition of the mall in the late 80s . . . However, they did have an Orange Julius back then.

A City that Works (for Gloria Squitiro)

There are a great many awesome links concerning Kansas City's Co-Mayor.

This morning, I'm highlighting two of the best:

The article from The Star regarding family volunteers is kind of a push for Mayor Funky. He is correct, there aren't many ordnances against family members volunteering . . . AND THAT'S BECAUSE IT RARELY, IF EVER HAPPENS!!!

Another KC Blog has an awesome take on the whole situation: Gloria, how’s it gonna go down?

Point of order . . . TKC suggests a simple solution to this whole thing: A "No Shirt, NO SHOES, No Service" sign might suffice at the entry to City Hall.

Hot Pussy in Kansas City, Kansas!!!

Family Cat in KCK was burned alive, police are investigating.

Alternate title: Korean Barbecue in KCK.

Let's cue up Friday Kansas City Links

Recent Show-Me State News about tumors if "virtually" comforting: Site near Cameron virtually ruled out a source of tumors

Local artists get one step closer to living in a van down by the river: Crews are preparing for the 6th Annual Art Festival in the River Market area.

KC Police File Charges In A Murder at 40th & Prospect

Hipster phrasing is making great strides in this town even if it doesn't sell much art: Downtown Overland Park Stays Open Late on "Third Thursdays"

Massage parlor owners plead guilty to human trafficking

The biggest thing to ever happen to this town, again: Obama will stop in Kansas City on Tuesday

The legacy of the place continues, and they're still telling people not to put it in the rough (Ew . . . NO HOMO): Penn Valley Park visitors don't need to park on grass

Oh yeah, and here's the NSFW Louise Glover photo set which inspired this collection of links.

Kansas City Love Knife Cuts Across Lines of Sexual Preference

A Kansas City man is in jail accused of murdering his lover.

The choice to leave your ex alone gets easier

The Kansas City Council voted 11-1 in favor of an ordinance to strengthen Kansas City's ability to prosecute people who violate orders of protection in domestic violence situations.

The bright future of El Torreon still makes Kansas City emo punks cry!!!

El Torreon will soon be restored to its former glory!!!

The designs for the place look great.

Sadly, all the hard work and cash will only result in more crappy local music.

Via Wayward blog . . . A blog so cool it follows KMBC but with more attitude and angsty emo thoughts.

Award winning newsies are no joke

BLC reports: FOX4 anchor John Holt and KMBC's Kris Ketz have been nominated for Emmy Awards by the Mid-America Chapter of the National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences.

Kansas City ambulance crash footage was frightening but thankfully not killer

KMBC: Video Shows Car Colliding With Ambulance

Real estate is all about turnaround: Former flop house now a luxury Kansas City Condo

60 years ago I might have had the cash to live here and pay rent by the week . . . Still, I like the way my favorite local real estate agent diplomatically describes the local condos that are now up for sale.

JoCo Family of funny man Jason Sudeikis

Two slightly memorable characters on SNL and your family might also be celebrated . . . Just keep paying for those improv "classes" . . . via KC Improv blog.

Kansas City Blogger Discovery: State of the Line posts the perfect blogging analogy

The Crew at State of the Line explain local blogging as part of the "Infinite Monkeys at Typewriters Theorum." This is ground breaking work . . . By the way, these guys are really kicking ass lately.

I don't know how this Friday is going to go Kansas City but I hope for the best

I may do a lot of short posts today . . . Or just a few long, thoughtful missives with some great info about our life and times here in Kansas City.

Whatever the case, as always, my goal is to try and be half as interesting as a photo gallery of Audrina Patridge in a skimpy bikini. Most of the time I fail.

A Funky Kansas City Shootout: Darla Jaye talks to TKC about Gloria Squitiro tonight!!!

If you're listening to the radio tonight . . . Check out 980 live with Darla Jaye at around 8 p.m.

TKC will be calling in to talk about the whole Gloria Squitiro controversey.

It should be good radio . . . I'm not sure where Darla stands on the issue but 20 double bonus points goes to the first person to mention the bare feet of the Co-Mayor.

Check it out!!!

Kansas City evening links with a smile

Here's the links I'm looking at this evening . . .

The Kansas City Council doesn't do business during the Democrat convention!!! Can't really blame them since the Dems run this town.

Prepare to genuflect or something: Obama Heading Back to KC Area

Eastside Denny's take out at gunpoint

Ew, insert your jokes about prison hos right here: Kansas City Inmates Learn To Garden

Where are cycling advocates when you really need some help from something other than SUVs? Teen Robbed, Beaten on Bike Ride

Talking about your problems and not simply running away is overrated: Dispute Ends With Shooting At Apartment

The Star plays down the story that TKC readers talk up: "The Brawl at the Hall: What really happened at Jackson County Demo meeting" . . . i.e. Democrats say what happened really didn't happen and then don't give quotes.

Crime Scene KC: KU Med trying to learn patients name

Yael Abouhalkah takes apart Mayor Funky's vendetta claim against The Star. Check the comments to see a pouty note from one of the Mayor's PR Flacks.

And, of course, there's nothing better in this world then lingerie photos of Halle Berry. Enjoy your evening.

Warplanes over Kansas City

The Thunderbirds were preparing for the Kansas City Airshow this afternoon.

It's always neat to see these planes go by . . . It's impossible not to feel like you live in a powerful nation when they pass . . . Even if they're presence is just a tad threatening and shakes the rooftops of your crappy neighborhood.

However, for just a second I always breathe a sigh of relief and say a little prayer thanking God that those things are on my side . . . Realizing that the roar of jets passing by isn't always a welcomed summer sound for many civilians in the world.

A brilliant blog post to start the school year

Emaw takes one more look at Kansas City Public Schools and finds a few bright spots in between billions of dollars wasted . . . I think.

Even more suburban sprawl

JoCo SOB: That's right folks it is time for the great civilization known as Southern Overland Park to leave the North behind in order to form a more perfect union.

The volunteer ordinance ends with handcuffs for Squitiro and more embarrassment for Kansas City if Mayor Funky doesn't stop his stubborness!!!

I'm not trying to predict the future.

I'm not a prophet or a prognosticator.

But I can see the writing on the wall and one of my favorite pastimes is "contemplating the ifs."

These two headlines (and the great articles) say it all . . .

Mayor, council on ‘collision course’ over volunteer ordinance - By the way, Lynn Horsely and DeAnn Smith did a really great job with that story despite the fact that Mayor Funky is suggesting a vendetta (from the same company who got him elected).

Mayor vows to ignore ordinance that forbids his wife from volunteering in his office

Now, let's look at "the sitch" . . .

As TKC reported previously, the legal department at City Hall is hinting that Council people shouldn't communicate with Gloria Squitiro regarding this whole mess for fear of jeopardizing their standing in the MammyGate case. Therefore the plan to influence one City Council person at a time isn't working and doesn't look too feasible FOR A MAYOR WITH ALMOST NO POLITICAL CAPITAL!!!

As of now the Council has a majority that will override a veto.

If the ordinance passes the Mayor promises to arrogantly, stubbornly ignore it.

He put himself in a no win situation here because if he does the right thing and abides by the council he will then look weak. On the other hand, a promise to ignore the City Council i.e. the City Charter he swore to uphold will be a more serious offense than he realizes.

Should the ordinance pass, should Mayor Funky "ignore it" there is one fact that he's overlooking.

THE CITY MANAGER RUNS CITY HALL AND COULD HAVE GLORIA SQUITIRO ESCORTED FROM THE BUILDING!!!

Furthermore, this isn't really Mayor Funky's neck on the line . . . It's Gloria Squitiro that faces some pretty major embarrassment and there's no word whether or not she's going to ignore the ordinance and face getting thrown out on the street like a hobo.

But make no mistake . . . There is the definite possibility that the Mayor's wife could be thrown out in what might be one of the most embarrasing displays this town has ever seen.

Of course, for entertainment value, I'd love to see this nightmare scenario play out and attract the attention of national news media . . . In fact, the only reason I'm blogging this right now isn't to put the situation in perspective and hope that a warning gets back to Ms. Squitiro (because not even I like seeing an old lady thrown around) but rather to put the keywords out there and go on record if this does come to pass.

Sadly, TKC's grave dancing could be avoided if the Gloria Squitiro would simply show some common sense and Mayor Funky would abandon his stubborn attitude. And all of this makes me wonder if the Mayor has learned anything from his tenure so far.

Kansas City lost millions when the Mayor wouldn't simply dismiss some racist old woman who quit on him in the end and then wrote a nasty, crazy letter to prove how wrong she was for any position of authority in Kansas City.

The Mayor had to be slapped publicly by almost every Black leader in Kansas City before he was forced to back down regarding the City Manager's contract.

And now the entire council is forced to settle the Mayor's lack of control in his own personal life . . . Think about it, elected officals in this town must get involved to separate Kansas City's Co-Mayors in order to enforce some form of accountability for volunteers. There is no rational argument for Gloria Squitiro to stay at City Hall. She has not been a part of progress in Kansas City and she has done far more damage to Mayor Funky's Administration than any outside force could have ever hoped to accomplish.

I've written this before and it now needs some repeating . . .

GLORIA SQUITIRO MUST GO!!!

Mayor Funky's failure to realize this not only speaks to his arrogance, stubborness and ineptitude but his lack of desire to uphold his duties and the best interests of Kansas City.

Jackson County LeVota Fight Club!?!?!

Rumors Confirmed . . . Kinda. But I thought I would go ahead and reprint most of a scintillating comment that came my way last night.

Apparently, there was a big ass fight this week at a Jackson County Democrat political meeting.

Here are a few more of the bright spots:

No one who was there Tuesday night will forget the sight and sounds of physical violence breaking out in the back of the meeting after the LeVotas lost an election by acclamation. First there was cursing and then there was an attack on an older man who I know as mild mannered.

Thankfully county sheriffs were there to subdue Steve LeVota when he attacked Marty Kerr, but will there be someone there next time? I am actually nervous about attending the next meeting.

Before the next County Committee meeting I hope we all will think about what needs to be done to keep us safe. I could hardly drive home safely after Tuesday night’s meeting after violence broke out. I never want to see something like that again and I am sure I am not alone-especially among those of us who are not "kids" anymore.

It gets worse . . . I think:

I keep seeing poor Marty Kerr, who is not a physically large man, being beat up and I feel like I never want to attend another committee meeting.

I even feel too uncomfortable to raise this issue under my own name because I am afraid of what might happen to me after what I saw Tuesday night.

Now the accusations fly:

Will there be a next time? I for one am fully convinced that there will be. This is not the first time members of the LeVota family have turned violent at a committee meeting. Let me be right up front I supported the leadership slate that was elected on Tuesday and I would have never supported any slate which included Phil LeVota’s name. I fear the tempers that seem to run in the LeVota family.

I remember that about 4 years ago when Phil LeVota ran for chair of the committee he had a violent event. Dorothy Kennedy from Grandview refused to support him and he shoved her in a hallway, which almost knocked Dorothy down a stairwell. I talked with Dorothy and I still remember how shook up Dorothy looked. I will never forget that look on her face later after Phil LeVota abused her. Dorothy I hope you will not take offence to this, because I am no “spring chicken” myself, but what kind of man would attack a woman of Dorothy’s age? We should have done something then and I am ashamed we did not.

It would take a very violent man, if you want to use the term “man” at all. In my opinion, they have a name for that kind of attacker: ABUSER!

In my opinion the LeVota boys are all bullies and abusers. In my experience, the LeVota’s intimidate people in order to get there way. If they cannot own something the LeVotas seem bent on destroying it.

I think back on what they did after they lost a vote overwhelmingly on Tuesday night. I heard them back there cussing the committee. Then they turned on poor Marty Kerr. Like all of us Marty is not as young as he used to be. In addition I do not think it is a secret that Marty is being treated for cancer.

I will never forget seeing him TAKEN BY THE NECK and manhandled by Steve LeVota. NOR WILL I FORGET how Paul and Phil LeVota stood there and watched as their brother acted like an animal. If they did not act to stop their own brother from abusing an elderly man then they are no better than the abuser.

Paul LeVota wants Democrats to give him the honor of being Speaker of the Missouri House of Representatives, but he does not have the human decency to step in and stop his brother from beating an older man who suffers from cancer?

Why do we have to put up with this kind of behavior? Who among our membership will be the next Dorothy or the next Marty? I know that I do not want to be put in the same situation sometime in the future because I voted in some way that the LeVota’s have decided is wrong and “go postal” on me. It is also in my memory when Phil attacked Keith Thomas with racially insensitive language, so I am sure that he is predisposed to hate. I am ashamed to admit the honest fact that I do feel intimidated by their violent actions.

When I talked this over with my brother he simply told me to go to the Sheriff’s Department and file for a concealed weapon permit, but I do not think that is the answer. I want the new County Committee leaders, who I happily supported, to address this issue immediately.

At the very least I am afraid that the committee will have to hire more private security to police our meetings, which is too bad because like Chairman Bough I would rather see money like that spent on buying health insurance a loyal staff person, who works very hard for the committee.

I really do not understand why any organization has to seat members who have a history of violence. What club, organization or employer would allow someone to stay around after repeated instances of verbal abuse and physical violence? Isn’t there some set of rules or Code of Conduct that would expel those who engage in violence from the committee’s membership? This is not the first time and I am very afraid it will not be the last.

This kind of thing has to end. It is not the kind of thing that I expect to find in the Democratic Party. The violence on Tuesday night was shameful and unforgivable.

I keep thinking the same thing: I have always been proud to be a Democrat, but over the years I have become increasingly fearful to attend the meetings of the Jackson County Democratic County Committee.

Of course, I didn't read all of this but TKC Tipsters are telling me that there was a fight and messages are popping up all over the local Internets about the scuffle or major smackdown . . . Depending who you want to believe.

Crime Scene KC

Too much good stuff to link just one . . . Definitely The Star's best bloggy effort. Just a reminder or a suggestion if you aren't reading already.

Early Morning Westport Fire

Fire Damages Westport Building

There are no winners when it comes to Gloria Squitiro's feet and Kansas City

Last night's caption contest went rather well . . .



Sadly, none of you d-bags signed your name in my comment section so I'll just list my favorites.

"I've got the healthiest prostate in town."

"In a few more months I will finish destroying all of this."

"Where in Downtown Kansas City is my new Iphone? Gloria lost hers too. We need your help finding them :)"

"My wife will align your chakras if you can bring us a hockey team."

There were a few rogue players as well . . .

A local Russian dude has a nice entry as well that's not really funny but very earnest in a way that's comparable to the efforts of most ethnic people desperate to fit in with white guys. Ah, I've seen the assimilation dance of first generation immigrants done so many ways from so many cultures and they all seem to involve self-hate. TKC multi-cultural link of the day: Asian Eyelid Surgery FAQ

Finally . . .

Emaw should probably win this thing with his tribute featuring a nice photo of TKC taking a dump with my eyes closed.

The P&L District Brings Total Devastation to the Downtown Kansas City Bar Scene!!!

Anyone care to help me count the bars that have closed down since the Power & Light District set up shop and has nearly destroyed Kansas City's non-corporate nightlife?

Here are the first few that come to mind:

The Mango Room

Tanner's

The Studio

Bar Natasha

Zin - That's closed isn't it?

This list doesn't count Fred P. Ott's or a few other smaller venues that have closed because they were kinda corporate . . . But the pattern is set and the list will get longer.

Of course, some will blame these places for their own demise and they probably have a point but it's hard not to see a pattern that doesn't at all correspond with the so-called "Downtown Renaissance" . . . In fact, these closings look like the P&L District is having the opposite effect on Kansas City Downtown Business. Now all that's left is a small island of taxpayer subsidized entertainment that seemingly doesn't want to allow people of color or their culture through the door.

Cheer up Kansas City!!!

Actually, I'm a great fan of gloomy weather and the end of summer.

But, in case you're a bit glum . . . Here are some Victoria Silvstedt bikini photos.